How Your Divorce Attorney is Manipulating You - and Tips to Keep Your Legal Costs Under...

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Some attorneys use tricks to make your divorce more expensive. Given all the emotions you are likely going through during your divorce (heartbreak, anger, guilt, and sadness), it is easy for an attorney to manipulate you into spending more money.   I do not want you to spend any more on your divorce than you have to. Every dollar you unnecessarily spend is one less dollar you have for your life after your divorce. I want you to be aware of these tricks, so you can watch out for them.   1) Playing therapist. You hire a divorce attorney to advise you on the law and advocate for you. They are not there to listen to your emotional problems or provide therapeutic advice. Attorneys may try to play on your emotions and charge you for their time.   Perhaps you spend 15 minutes talking about emotional issues, and your attorney charges $400 an hour. So that is $100 that you have wasted. You could have used that money to get a full hour with a good therapist, who is actually trained to help you sort through emotional issues.   2) Focusing on irrelevant details. Because you are likely in an emotional state, your attorney can trick you into fighting over issues that do not matter. It is important to keep the big picture in mind. I recommend making a list of the most important issues, and putting them in order. Then prioritize items on the top of the list, and avoid spending too much time fighting about items low on the list.   3) Treating you like an ATM. From the beginning of the divorce process, your attorney knows what assets you have because you fill out a financial affidavit. Many attorneys will look at it and decide how much you can afford. They may just decide outright how much your divorce is going to cost. When attorneys try to manipulate you into fighting about irrelevant details and dragging out your divorce, they are effectively treating you like an ATM.   It is helpful to know their tricks and be aware of your priorities, so you can get through the divorce process as efficiently as possible. Do not waste any extra money on legal fees or other expenses that ultimately do not help you in the long run.   Thank you for listening to the Divorce and Your Money Show. Visit us at www.divorceandyourmoney.com for 1-on-1 coaching. If you enjoyed the show, please take a moment to leave a review on iTunes, as it will help other people discover this free advice.

[@deeoflion166]

I wish I had seen this 3 months ago. Fired her and have a new attorney who gets to the point and this should be finalized next month. Former attorney said another ten months!

[@k.b.9716]

1) Let your attorney play therapist.2) Focusing irreverent details 3) Using you as an ATM.

[@alkalineperformance6421]

Thanks...very much appreciated! Used your advice to stay focused on my original goals and budget, and not expand and pursue other issues as recommended by my attorney.

[@johnholmes3584]

We need a video of how not to get ripped off by all attorneys in general. Remember if you loose they still get your money. Many will say you have a good case when you dont. They make no money if you dont hire them. This is why they may lie and say you have a good case. It they are willing to take your case on a contingency then you have a good case. If they wont be careful. Create an incentive for them to win.

[@helenmckeen2750]

So far have had two attorneys, first one wanted access to my home and another asset in the case for personal inspection, charged me 4,000 a month. Fired that one , the second lies to me about paperwork sent to her office, claiming I forgot to send it until I produce the UPS receipt with her signature on it. She also told me the judge refused evidence that would have refuted allegations my husband and his attorney made against me. She claimed she had not used my evidence in another court appearance where the judge actually did look at the evidence provided which was the only reason I got personal property returned to me that my husband stole. I am now completely fed up because I asked her about mandatory court mediation and she called me and told me if I didn’t like the way she was handling the case I was welcome to represent myself. So far this circus has cost me over $40,000 and my husband showed up for the pretrial this February, I filed in July of 2019.

[@steakdave666]

I also am $40k in to my divorce and there is no end in sight... how did yours end?

[@helenmckeen2750]

@@steakdave666 Finalized after 3 years and $150,000+. After firing the third attorney I represented myself in court and found out a meditator had been assigned that I was not told about by my second attorney. Fourth attorney finally took the divorce to mediation because I started mediation, otherwise I believe it would have gone to trial. This doesn’t count the consults I had with 2 others attorneys and a 3 financial consultants.

[@DianaHMillerACN]

THANK YOU! ♥️

[@lostluv6817]

what can i do when I HIGHLYY suspect my lawyer is mishandling the funds from the sale of my property. She is refusing to send me a statement from the account and has cut communication for a long time now. Aside from the mishandling of funds she's not keeping me updated on my case...didn't even show up to a hearing and had the audacity not to tell me... I recently found out a client is suing her for mishandling of funds most likely. What should I do to let the courts know that the funds might be mishandled since they are the ones who authorized her to hold the funds? Or is there a way I can get the courts to make her send a statement?

[@newyorke172]

My very expensive attorney continued working on my case with only occasional payments as a favor well after it seemed clear my husband was indeed broke and I had very limited assets. It will require me to sell my home and all of my personal belongings to pay off his $170,000 bill. He calls me selfish for not selling everything I own to pay him but I feel he should have taken me aside and said I don’t want to see you lose everything here. You should go pro se or find legal aide. He also ignored me for the last 8 months not returning my calls or emails. His junior attorney became rude and condescending. They did the work though. . What’s your take?

[@Toshineko]

This is definitely one of the reasons why many people hate attorneys, and those divorce attorneys you talked about did not help their image.

[@carlaraimer718]

🌈🙏💜thank you for this & your integrity!

[@nanalovesjesus4080]

My totally used this model.

[@tKrome]

This should NOT be the responsibility of the CLIENT who is PAYING. Why is this so normalized.

[@tKrome]

That is called fraud.

[@vajraayudha5062]

I hate when you call them attorney's , they are bloody lawyers !! , incompetent and greedy !!

[@juliehwang8482]

... ok.

[@TopHatRonin]

I'd pay $100 to see who could drain a Man quicker. Dracula or a Divorce Attorney

[@mcuevas2004]

My attorney and my wife attorney exchange 17 email daily for the past 7 months so far the bills is 40k and nothing resolved. Just to let u know the system will make u bleed on to you get broke. And nothing you can do because the own you. I regret selling the house in this inflation now I have to get or my assets to attorneys and wife. 🤔

[@brittanyg2529]

I was being charged $275/hr for paralegal fees, fee agreement said $100/hr

[@facepaintbyabigail3704]

My divorce case is legally aided all was smooth the attorney was so helpful until she stops working for the firm and her boss took over my case, after our first meeting today I felt extremely insulted and she actually told me because she spent so much time on me she has less time to prepare paperwork , this on top of her being LATE for our appointment and talk to me like I'm a beggar.

[@richeyrich3655]

Amen . You hit the nail right on the head . And I bet all that thumb down in your comment is from those greedy attorney . LOL

[@robertscalero8926]

after 18 month going back and forth deliberation was made my propriety has to be sold to be split but i was getting a 2 to 3 thousand bill now i got last month 10000 bill and the next month 22000 bill is that legal accepted

[@thesurvivalguru]

Roberts Calero That is bs

[@naturesvoice4890]

i paid my lawyer 130000$ All i wanted was to keep the house i paid for. Now i have to sell it because i have to give the ex money. 200K. So i got nothing i wanted. We have no kids. 130000??? I see noone around speaking that kind of number...

[@streamhunters9940]

I got fucked for over 12k and we are just at the beginning part of custody mediation no divorce even filed yet

[@streamhunters9940]

I'm going to hold my old lawyer accountable anyway I possibly can

[@chrisbyars6531]

@@streamhunters9940 if its possible let me know please

[@streamhunters9940]

@@chrisbyars6531 let you know what?

[@mindyharwood5992]

I know someone who has paid almost half a million trying to divorce her husband, offering him all kinds of settlements, but now after 5 years, she has no money left, and no divorce either. She's gonna lose her house.

[@russiantank6261]

NOT SOME ATTORNEYS, HERE IN NYC MOST OF THEM WILL!!!! MOST WILL LIE AND MANIPULATE TO EXTEND THE PROCESS AND CHARGE PEOPLE ALL KINDS OF SHIT WHICH THEY DONT NEED!!!