Malcolm Gladwell | Talking to Strangers - What We Should Know About the People We Don't Know

[@HowToAcademyMindset]

Watch four more talks by Malcolm Gladwell here! kzbin.info/aero/PLFIigLLitqDnA-v1mjS-F7y9OzNZrAeG4

[@generalwin13]

I’d puke on my phone If he called

[@Christopher_Bachm]

Misinterpreting the bible to sell political propaganda has swept the nation. Gladwell is the clever one. Peterson is a ham handed mess - I think that's their favorite part... Both deserve disdain. It's called indoctrination! Wake up America!

[@JosephKulik2016]

Is the speaker in this video a man or a woman or a what ??? I really can't figure it out. I don't even remember what this video was about. I was preoccupied with the sexual ambiguity of the speaker. Is the speaker in this video a man or a woman or a what ???

[@amagician]

@@JosephKulik2016 Seriously Joe, if your eyes are that bad, just close them and listen instead.

[@ruthcole909]

Still it’s really good,? I always felt that way now not that I did the math.

[@greatmcluhansghost7134]

love or fear: choose one. one leads to disease and ill health, alienation, stress, etc.; the other makes the world go 'round and is the source of great stories, poems, songs, and true progress. African proverb: "the child who isn't loved by the village will burn it down."

[@kofi3720]

Proverb 🔥

[@movetorumble8681]

#TrueStory

[@wildeevolution]

I thought there were only two emotions, love and fear. But today I decided there is only one. Love …and maybe a little less love sometimes but it’s still love because everyone is always doing the best they can. ❤️

[@t-love8351]

»african« is so very opaque and unspecific … the country or language would be helpful.

[@oem8530]

Which emotion does what? you didn't specify

[@janhavi2204]

I love this as the basis for Talking to Strangers. If you're the type to not trust people by default, it's inevitably hard to open up to them and have any kind of meaningful conversation.

[@janetpattison8474]

Conned, or lied to so many times over the years, by all kinds of people; housemates, the car dealership, inept handymen, corrupt mechanics, so called “friends”, even family, and many many more people from a wide variety of disciplines, that I conclude I am an extremely naive scammer magnet. So I greatly appreciate this talk.

[@Luca-tw9fk]

you and I both Janet. You and I both

[@bryansmiley5851]

While we may have evolved to be trusting, current society and current culture dictates we have to be skeptical of others to protect ourselves.

[@iordeebeat]

...beware of victimism though

[@gosselinluke]

You were conned once again by listening to #malc

[@lisaschomer5912]

You are brilliant ! The gift of connecting with others is likeability and having others trust you. It is having an open heart to be a good listener to a complete stranger.

[@desimo147]

9 out of 10 people are decent, while 1 out of 10 will survive by taking advantage of the 9 honest ones. That's just the way the world works. When you discover that 1 out of 10, get away from them at all and any costs. Sometimes, you work with them so it may not be so easy but in general that should be your approach.

[@annaleonie2731]

Where do you get your figures from? Because common sense suggests your numbers are way off.

[@jasondenise3826]

That translates to 1% out of 100% There is no getting away from that 1%. They are our masters.

[@Gregavision]

They’re most likely the CEO of the company you work for.

[@jasondenise3826]

@@Gregavision I work for the state.

[@jasondenise3826]

@@ThisUserName15Taken So, how much does that subtract from the point I was making?

[@briterry4961]

I think it’s a different conversation when you consider the unique dangers more vulnerable parties face. Women and children for example are more regularly preyed on for being more trusting. Taking candy from strangers or accepting a ride while walking home are just never good ideas. I see his perspective as a man but the world is much more predatory towards others.

[@mariasalamkhan3768]

true!!!

[@vaunniethayer1484]

I agree. I think the fraction of one out of ten is too low . However I also think that many people are very easily coerced into doing the wrong thing which they might not have done otherwise.

[@shawnieleaf2277]

As a woman that has actively hitchhiked and taken many many rides from strangers for 5 years, I have to tell you that the world is not as dangerous as the media leads to you believe.

[@rumi9005]

@Bri Terry - It's true that children, especially, are vulnerable to being preyed on. But it's ALSO true that the number of stranger abductions of children is actually vanishingly small. We're horrified when it does happen, of course. But, in attempting to protect against such an occurrence (however rare) we've ended up wrapping our children in a stiflingly oppressive protective shell. And that's very harmful, too.

[@rumi9005]

@Bri Terry - (See my first post about child abduction). Similarly with rape and murder of young women, Bri. The OVERWHELMING majority of sexual attacks against women (and children) are committed by persons either closely related or otherwise closely associated with the victim. As with child abduction, the number of stranger offenders in cases of rape or other sexual attack are very small.

[@aaronseet2738]

"It is easier to fool people than to convince them they've been fooled."

[@jedi_mapperp4073]

The last 4 years have been proof positive you are spot on.

[@janesilver2746]

Blimey- how true is that! And probably the reason why (here in the UK at least) things are so messed up.

[@fembot521]

Fuck why is this quoted by someone on every single KZbin channel?!?

[@avocado7947]

@@jedi_mapperp4073hope you mean the last year or the 2020 election lol, mistype?

[@jedi_mapperp4073]

@@avocado7947 That would be a hard No.

[@yashchaturvedi6452]

This video popped up! I am a big fan of Malcom and over decades , probably have ready whatever came my way.... Have recommended his books and even gifted to friends too. What he speaks has been my philosophy too! People caution me for being too trusting etc... but my point is.. even if my success rate is 30% , the gain to my life is phenomenal! I have been an entrepreneur for about 3 decades and can't tell you how this belief has worked for me! I have got cheated big time, but the others who did but cheat me , have made my life!

[@mariespi96]

I face life with the motto “I will trust you until you give me a reason not to.” Even then I’ll give a person the benefit of the doubt. My husband motto is “I will NOT trust you until you give a reason to trust you.” Some of that has rubbed off on me and my kids. For example, He always told me NEVER pickup strangers on the road but I have. I’ve picked up a young mother with a newborn baby in her arms and an elderly couple stranded on the side of the road.

[@janetpattison8474]

And right.y so for helping stranded people. You understood that there are exceptions to some rules.

[@exdoode]

I guess you have to try your best to assess each situation on their merits

[@CGKA2020]

Those are exactly the people who would have you chopped up and buried in their backyard and eventually featured on Netflix Catching Killers ;-)

[@JishinimaTidehoshi]

@@exdoode *their

[@cooljazz8]

That sounds nice, but you should realize that people on the side of the road could be "bait." You should only do that if you're absolutely sure there's nobody else near them who can ambush you, or if you have some sort of protection with you in the car and you can use it quickly (mace or gun).

[@tezzo55]

No flash, no wham bam, no graphics, and no props, just a great story teller with a great story to tell. Riveting.

[@stanleyklein524]

Emphasis of the word "story". No knowledge to dispense. Just entertainment. So long as we are clear about that, Gladwell can blab without shame. Too bad he (and his audience) are not clear on that point.

[@tezzo55]

@@stanleyklein524 Dear oh dear. All story tellers have their detractors, and unless you provide FACTS to support your narrative (which you have not) you too are just another fact-less story-teller, but one not nearly as entertaining as the gentleman above. Your ad hominem arguments do NOT give you the upper hand, nor do they make you seem superior. They just make you appear ignorant of your own narcissism. The symptoms you are exhibiting are often concomitant with an alcohol habituation. Do you take alcohol? Tell me your story, but remember FACTS, we want FACTS, not the witless, ad hominem ravings of a drunk. All the best :-)

[@tezzo55]

@@stanleyklein524 I guess then if we're dealing with facts you just ain't the boy. Weird, especially when you were so full of yourself just yesterday. All bark, no bite.

[@gwenrobinson3521]

Thank you for sharing your gifts! MG is his own genius. He sees the stuff right in front of you and so interesting you just do not see it until he packages it in a way we can understand. What a gift he has for seeing the world.

[@donnasherwood283]

does he not my impression at all

[@morespinach9832]

He’s not a genius at all. Taking obvious facts and adding stories around it isn’t genius.

[@refresco]

He’s far from genius. Raise your standards.

[@RussellChapman99]

A few days ago in Canary Wharf, a financial district of London. Took a break from a bike ride, sat on a bench, there was another person sat there too. Had my sandwich, then asked him, what's interesting in business today? Had an interesting half hour conversation about global economics.

[@bloochoob]

Talking to a stranger in London usually results in weird looks, and I did it many times when I moved here, as in my small northern town, we all speak to anyone anywhere. So you having an actual normal random stranger conversation here was a rare thing 😀

[@ultimobile]

reminds me of sitting in a lunch restaurant in Nha Trang, Vietnam about 20 years ago a guy about my age (middle) at the next table engaged me in a chat - he was well-educated with fluent English - and told me he worked for the Vietnamese government - we ended up talking for at least half an hour which felt like friends - he was a liberal thinker with progressive ideas another time a local translated a chat with a poor farmer I met on the waterfront - he told me he was suffering because the government fixed the price of the rice he grew to less than he needed to live from that I learned a lot about the difference between educated desires and practical reality with the communist government in Vietnam

[@vonkunstfreiheitgedeckt]

​@@bloochoobyou don't meet normal and real people in canary wharf ;)

[@bettyboop-xg6jo]

I understood nothing of the purpose of this talk, but sooo liked the delivery, the hairstyle the shirt, and the name Gladwell, really suits you. 😃

[@gustaf623]

We're all human. We should trust eachother, most of the time. But communicating with others isn't always truthful... I gathered. But yes, long story for a pretty obvious result.

[@bettyboop-xg6jo]

@@gustaf623 Thank you.

[@kevincross4302]

Read (or listen) to the book. He begins and ends with the story of the White Cop in Texas who pulls over a young (27'ish?) Black girl for some minor infraction. Neither the Cop nor the Girl handle the situation very well, both are poor communicators. She's arrested and eventually (that day or the next) she's dead in her cell. It's a horrible situation. If either of them would've calmed down (swallowed a little pride) and been polite she'd be alive today. There are several very interesting encounters in the book... Bernie Madeoff, Francisco Pizzaro, the Mountain Climber et cetera.

[@bettyboop-xg6jo]

@@kevincross4302 Thank you for the explanation. 😃

[@STOPLISTENANDTHINK]

@@kevincross4302 Honestly - it was up to the police officer. He/she is trained to handle difficult situations. That should never have to result in death. If one was doing their job properly! Unless, self defence of course. Legitimate self defence.

[@slowpainful]

Although I sometimes think, with Gladwell, it's like "well, I could have thought of that myself" the fact is I didn't. This talk has huge implications for "truth decay", our current inability to know what information to trust and what media to listen to, which wasn't a problem before - we all read from the same playbook. I think we can grow if we learn to apportion our trust more appropriately. "Trust" has different meanings depending on whether I'm trusting the person who is my partner to be faithful or trusting someone in a KZbin video to tell the truth. Doubting someone is not always paranoia, it can be healthy skepticism. Interesting talk which seemed annoyingly simplistic at first, but it certainly got me thinking.

[@tezzo55]

Well written enjoyable comment. Thanks.

[@LastbutNotFirst]

@Paul Gauthier msm has always lied yup.. but this generation seems to have to deal with the manipulation of large droves of people. ie. cause havok (in all forms) -- . it is not just a story or a lie; but a decietful production to create the foundation for all the lies. --- people still havent even realized osbama bin laden videos were just rehashed and re-editted over and over.. and still are like.. yeah the seals got him!

[@mandyinseattle]

To me, Gladwell does say things that seem really obvious but says them in a glib and self-satisfied way, so I don't get it. I haven't read this one tho, but I'm not likely to for the reason I said. I have few blanket rules and assess each situation as I find it, always being flexible when I can be.

[@DavidShantzwildoutwest]

Classic Gladwell talk: half hour rambling anecdote to tangentially support a simple point. Get the cliff notes if you don’t have a lot of extra time. Master Class in how to sell little books.

[@wickedceltics]

wow, you are a FOUNTAIN of enlightenment.

[@Ludifant]

Somehow, I don't trust you :) maybe you were having a bad day.

[@donnjb83]

*listening to Malcom gladwell talking about talking to strangers, doing everything in my power avoiding talking with strangers 😕

[@thunderousapplause]

Donn JB pretty much, strangers are the only ppl i wanna talk to: no obligation, no responsibility. talking to ppl i know can require i be vulnerable, and often requires patience. blah.

[@Ludifant]

Isn't this talking to strangers? Talking is using language to communicate. What is the difference. You might be deceived in the comment section :). I know.. it's not a rational fear... Think back to a time when you did trust people enough to talk to them. Is there such a time? If so, what happened?

[@KamalasNotLikeUs]

@@Ludifant What happened? They opened their mouths and talked back. Oh, the horror!

[@johndonaldson3619]

You believe in strangers just by sharing the road with them in which your life is at stake with every driver coming in the other direction...mutual trust

[@Ludifant]

That' might just be believing in people not wanting to die. They have something to loose in that situation.

[@slowpainful]

Yes, Jaron Lanier talks about the huge enveloping web of trust in the world about those very things. He sees it as a beautiful, positive thing, almost spiritual.

[@mikestarkly9226]

I don't have that. I was raised to think about how driving is using a weapon and you need to be careful every minute behind the wheel. That your best chances are to get from A to B as quickly as possible. LOL But I have a panic attack almost every time I am behind the wheel.

[@DR-nh6oo]

Sometimes that can be a really scary thing!

[@StephenDoty84]

No, not "mutual trust." You are jumping to a conclusion there, beyond the evidence. It's more like "mutual distrust," which is why good drivers are so careful and vigilant.

[@jayk5549]

I live life trusting all people implicitly and completely! I trust that each person will act in their own best interests - full stop. It’s always dependable and predictable. The only trick then becomes finding out if those interests align with mine, yours, societies. Etc.

[@markgatenby7339]

Good talk and even greater 'enhanced' audio book. Talking to Strangers is riveting, varied, current, helping to explain the behaviour of people who get caught up in society. I can't recommend Talking to Strangers enough.

[@Ira06002]

Trust your instincts when doing the right thing.

[@JonnM]

This is a fascinating and provocative book that speaks to both self evident and not so obvious truths. Having read the book I immediately wanted to reread but instead I purchased the Audio edition and it brought his tales to even greater level of insight and awareness. Well worth the double purchase.

[@derekboyt3383]

Are you MG’s publicist?

[@SandraRosario-mi1zs]

I will buy it!👏🏼

[@patmebg3794]

I agree. Somehow the audio felt more real and weightier.

[@federay]

I agree the audiobook is a new level of audiobook. It's an audiobook first - with an accompanying print edition.

[@oopalonga]

lmao--okay bro--how much did u get paid for this comment? galdwells has always struck me as a charlatan

[@sirclarkmarz]

i like talking to strangers and i think i prefer to the people that i know . the people i know are safe and comfortable but predictable and what they have to say kind of like watching a rerun. with strangers i might hear something new i might learn something new there's some spice and new flavors with strangers with the familiar people is easy to be asleep on your feet strangers keep you awake and more alive

[@Rithmy]

Wonderful!

[@andyharpist2938]

I asked my friend from Hungary how it was to fully know the systems didnt work, yet supporting it with your whole life? He answered that it was easy. 'We learnt to hold two distinct opinions at the same time. Humans can do this' he explained.

[@greatmcluhansghost7134]

cognitive dissonance

[@TheSagesophie]

explains a lot of religion

[@greatmcluhansghost7134]

@@TheSagesophie and linear thinking

[@hannannah1uk]

Orwell called it doublethink. Especially useful in communist systems. #1984

[@latinaalma1947]

We all know humans are wonderful...humans are terrible BOTH ideas are true. The qualifier in that sentence is "SOME".

[@aresmars2003]

We're all vulnerable to "foolish trust", and most of the time it serves us, but sometimes it does not.

[@latinaalma1947]

I have too much info on how human brains work effectively, and NOT. When it came to love I always took a well I will wait and see attitude until I hopefully met the right one. I actually approached HIM,,,the only man I ever have. It was his looks of course from across the room. Then he opened his mouth and out fell my beloved grandmother's sweet soft kind Georgia accent...huge check mark for trust column....totally on gut feel and totally absurd, but compelling nonetheless. He was a leader of a huge city singles group with complex scheduling of many sub group hobby events...bridge, tennis, golf, water sports, chess, book discussions etc etc....a leader chosen by the the group, so check in the leader category, check in the conscientiousness category, check in the truthworthiness categogy and in the not a psychopath,sociopath killer/rapist category, trim fit body, worked out twice a week so check in the healthy fit category, avid reader, check in the intelligence, open mindedness and shared passions categories, sailor another check in the shared passion category, enjoyed travel and foreign cuisines...same ones as my favs...check in the openness category...Only one MAJOR category left relavent to me: how was he in bed? Ding ding ding JACKPOT mega lottery winner...what remained to be seen was how all this would fare and wear in a future world together...answer:splendidly.

[@anniskarpenko3151]

I'm at 10:34 still wondering if anyone let Marta out of the trunk of the car.

[@govindthakare8471]

i was thinking about that the whole time, what happened to poor cuban marta

[@annalyon8443]

Oooooh, who cares about poor Marta…

[@justmeeagainn]

I have her in my trunk now. She’s fine.

[@govindthakare8471]

@@justmeeagainn plz let her go it's been 25+ year

[@donfitzsimons6673]

8:12 I gave my vote and I am leaving shaggy dog story completely unsatisfied.

[@jacknusanporter5206]

His talk explains a lot--especially relations with people--we trust yet we are going to be fooled. I know people close to me who got fooled several times because they are so trusting.

[@alexavery311]

@中国的主人 What do you think about the message of this video

[@jsaulson2198]

One things for certain. Mr Gladwell can make a short story long winded.

[@JishinimaTidehoshi]

All I hear is Blah Blah Blah

[@jenvaher]

I know! I’m trying to get through this, but he is so incredibly boring. Obviously a better writer. I assume…

[@chrishayes5755]

people like mr gladwell are exactly why I don't talk with strangers anymore lol

[@stanleyklein524]

@@chrishayes5755 Well said.

[@ndo533]

Precisely why I dont really listen to him. His David and Goliath speech was incredibly difficult to sit through

[@mindpoacher3180]

For the love of God I am unable to fathom going thru life without the ability to access the subconscious and retrieve its knowledge in regards to the question I ask. It's called self referencing. I could keep you here for weeks telling you the bullets I've missed and the gems I've discovered. It's literally never a dull moment.

[@hijodelaisla275]

"literally"

[@grahamberrie2462]

Have you an example

[@known_unknown284]

Mr. Blah Blah. "I summarize other people's research in a way that doesn't provide any additional insight but I do it in a way that sounds really important so it makes the people listening feel good about themselves."

[@jordanfolks1938]

This is funny to me because I saw Malcom speak at a market research conference once. I saw him in the hallway before or after, and he had this entourage of security personnel surrounding him so he wouldn't have to talk to any strangers in the hallway!

[@absoluterefusal]

I fervently do not adore him. I know it's not good to wish ill on people, but I wouldn't cry if he caught a bad cold or got shin splints or something. I guess I'm a bad person.

[@monkiram]

@@absoluterefusal I mean... it's totally fine if you don't like him, there's nothing wrong with that. But why does that mean you have to wish him ill. Do you wish ill on all the people you dislike? That's a little ethically questionable.

[@absoluterefusal]

@@monkiram I never actively wished him ill. I just said I wouldn't "cry" if he caught a "cold" or got "shin splints." But because of your comment, I'm starting to feel more active about it. Like maybe I'll not only wish but also find and recite a complimentary magical curse (in latin, of course). Then I'll be truly evil when my active wishes cause him to get tennis elbow! Note well: I said "maybe." I haven't decided yet. So don't go judging me again please.

[@monkiram]

@@absoluterefusal Lol I'm not suggesting that your wishes will cause anything negative to happen to him. It just seems weird to me to be pleased when something bad happens to somebody you've never met or interacted with and who has never done anything to hurt you. I don't know you so I can't judge you from an internet comment, I just find it odd logic is all.

[@aslawrence]

@@absoluterefusal the only comment that made me LOL “caught a bad cold or got shin splints or something” …In my experience, a bad hangnail can be a real bummer too.

[@stephensullivan1011]

That was pretty good. Trust is vital in a functioning society. Lord have mercy on our society and stop these terrible killings we've experienced lately..

[@ericjohn277]

Put another way, sociopaths and psychopaths have the advantage of not having to be honest, yet their hubris and amorally is precisely what does them in.

[@themicrolearninginstitute]

I want a Malcolm Gladwell book exclusively on Spies! Love this.

[@MrBobbystyles]

Scared to talk with people because your on the internet all day and focused on other people’s opinions rather than yourself . ✌🏻

[@scottmeek]

I have to say that the audio book version was outstanding.

[@patmebg3794]

I agree completely

[@LordIstar]

No

[@haazeMAX]

I think Martin Luther in the Small Catechism says something to the effect of: The common man is better off being a bit naïve and trusting than to be discerning and suspicious.

[@villekarna8545]

He didn´t say that

[@andrewwilliams9599]

“I believe in my neighbors. “I know their faults and I know that their virtues far outweigh their faults. Take Father Michael down our road a piece - I'm not of his creed, but I know the goodness and charity and lovingkindness that shine in his daily actions. I believe in Father Mike; if I'm in trouble, I'll go to him. My next-door neighbor is a veterinary doctor. Doc will get out of bed after a hard day to help a stray cat. No fee - no prospect of a fee. I believe in Doc. “Decency is not news; it is buried in the obituaries - but it is a force stronger than crime. I believe in the patient gallantry of nurses...in the tedious sacrifices of teachers. I believe in the unseen and unending fight against desperate odds that goes on quietly in almost every home in the land. “I believe in the honest craft of workmen. Take a look around you. There never were enough bosses to check up on all that work. From Independence Hall to the Grand Coulee Dam, these things were built level and square by craftsmen who were honest in their bones. “I believe that almost all politicians are honest. For every bribed alderman there are hundreds of politicians, low paid or not paid at all, doing their level best without thanks or glory to make our system work. If this were not true, we would never have gotten past the thirteen colonies. “I believe in - I am proud to belong to - the United States. Despite shortcomings, from lynchings to bad faith in high places, our nation has had the most decent and kindly internal practices and foreign policies to be found anywhere in history. And finally, I believe in my whole race. Yellow, white, black, red, brown - in the honesty, courage, intelligence, durability … and goodness … .of the overwhelming majority of my brothers and sisters everywhere on this planet. I am proud to be a human being. I believe that we have come this far by the skin of our teeth, that we always make it just by the skin of our teeth - but that we will always make it … survive … endure. I believe that this hairless embryo with the aching, oversize brain case and the opposable thumb, this animal barely up from the apes, will endure - will endure longer than his home planet, will spread out to the other planets, to the stars, and beyond, carrying with him his honesty, his insatiable curiosity, his unlimited courage - and his noble essential decency. This I believe with all my heart.”-Robert A. Heinlein

[@chrishayes5755]

straight up delusional 😂 surprised anyone sane could write that. guys a hopeless optimist to the point of extreme delusions.

[@jesyca1977]

People love a lie "that works for them", that a truth that makes them extend themselves and grow in another direction.

[@mnmmnm6718]

having read this particular book of him, I am amazed he never mentioned "Default to Truth" in his talk, so people can linger on and buy the book to see how to deal with situation like these in real life. This talk was a Cliffhanger. BIG FAN.....

[@sw3tfilth207]

Can u summarize it real quick

[@mw7674]

🤨 He does mention it towards the end in this video

[@Yamsauce]

@@sw3tfilth207 i can summerize. Default to truth=default to trust. Without initial trust in communication and cooperation nothing would progress. Example: we met for the first time and take what the other shares in good faith. Until one of us gives the other a reason to doubt or distrust the other we continue to cooperate. The big idea is a default to trust someone is key to civilized progress. If we suspected each other constantly nothing would move forward. This predictability has a down side though. It makes people easy to take advantage of by people willing to act outside the social norms or ethic.

[@bruceanderson5538]

@@Yamsauce Summary: D2T=D2I, where I= ignorance

[@Yamsauce]

@@bruceanderson5538I agree and disagree with you. I agree since by not d2I you avoid being taken advantage of and avoid a crisis. You learn not to touch a hot stove. However, absolutely avoiding trusting strangers is like touching the stove and never going near one again on principle. You never learn how to cook on stove and instead work harder feeding yourself by narrowing down your interactions to only black and white scenarios. Or more literally, you stunt your own personal development because you cannot trust anyone and thereby dont see the wider experience of humanity and the world...because you only do things alone or with people you can keep at arms length. This is demonstrated in traumatized individuals like a rape victim or war veteran etc. I agree by not d2I you avoid being ignorant to what people can do and how fast they can turn on you. You gain resiliency and the ability to anticipate and prepare expectations better. However, I dont think by doing so to an extreme one escapes universal ignorance or bliss. Yes, you no longer operate or think with the limitation of ethics or blind trust, essentially stepping outside the box, but at the cost of empathy and the trust with others. You emulate traits of the people your proactively trying to stay ahead of. Eventually the social isolation/ cynicism becomes more of a liability than an asset. Ultimately, we have to cooperate and engage regardless. But we each have to chose our approach and ethics wisely. Being a pessimist or a cynic is a strategy to cope and survive...but it doesnt guarantee you thrive or network. Being honorable gets you into an in-group or social leverage, but your predictable and open to manipulation. Strive to find the balance/grey I would say, and remember the only minority that matters is the individual. As we are all individuals foremost. One strategy may be more conducive to a context than another in situation later on. Just dont be rigid, be fluid and fluent with the people around you while keeping in mind theyre human.

[@benjonnyshirley4203]

This is absolutely the truth. We live in Plato's Cave where the trusting masses sit chained, watching the images on the wall, believing it all to be reality

[@nedlambton6602]

The wall is real, the images may not be.

[@benjonnyshirley4203]

@@nedlambton6602 it's all a metaphor

[@havalonsjourney]

I was deceive by my own husband at the time for over ten years, we had kids together and though we were doing good just to find out that he was a whole complete person with another life and lifestyle outside of me😞can you imagine how devastating that is being deceived by the person closes to you

[@diletante6800]

Yup

[@olive4093]

im sorry, i hope ure doing better now 💗💗💗💗

[@nitrohanktoursamerica5047]

People have little defense against the things they want to hear.

[@reehulkhair5944]

Great quote there!

[@Dbb27]

I love his writing. His book Blink is also a great read.

[@joeyenniss9099]

Outliers too, hes such a savage its awesome.

[@johnwest194]

Famous for having an opinion and insight into everyday things - astonishing!

[@An123Observer]

I really liked this talk but I think it is outdated. We now live in an age where advertising is a billion dollar industry, where human manipulation and sophistry is key to success in many fields. (entertainment, politics, stock market and so on.) people need to learn how to be less gullible or we are going to find ourselves enslaved while thinking we free.

[@stlkngyomom]

What if it already happened,ala Matrix,and nobody noticed?

[@An123Observer]

@@stlkngyomom metaphorically you might be right that we are in the Matrix. Literally, well I can't prove you wrong but it would be pretty weird. 😅

[@SaralinaLove]

We are already deeply and inextricably in that age of fascist corruption right now. Its everywhere. Seriously. They are terrorizing the non conformists now.

[@SaralinaLove]

We are already deeply and inextricably in that age of fascist corruption right now. Its everywhere. Seriously. They are terrorizing the non conformists now.

[@MadMax22]

See I think people say they’re trusting of others but the important distinction is that people are trusting of the people they want to trust. And ofc when you’re face to face with someone you’re more likely to trust them. You might even have friends with different opinions than you right now and that’s because you aren’t just your one opinion. That trump supporter that you may hate, well guess what he probably likes something you like too. But people are still on the defensive a lot of the time and they are not good at it. People should try being trusting of more people while simultaneously figuring out what a deceiver looks like. Because while you tell everyone to start being more skeptical the true deceivers that the country will be looking for will have already gotten you to laugh and smile all while slowly achieving their plan because psychopaths deceive by appearing normal. Other people are just idiots.

[@RezaRob3]

I'm one of those "paranoid" people, but there is a difference between questioning things and asking for verification, proof, etc, versus paranoia in the sense that you never give anyone the benefit of the doubt, you're unable to trust and love people, and you never tolerate lapses of judgement or allow people to make their own mistakes. I most certainly hope that I'm not paranoid in the latter sense! I love people. Regarding the kind of people we'd like to marry, the history on this is kind of interesting. Genghis Khan had a head wife and many "other" wives. The head wife was his empress and only her children could succeed Genghis Khan. Her position was very special. There is an episode in the Night Court comedy series where Dan Fielding is trying to sleep with Christine but he can't do it. She realizes that it's because unlike all the other women who Dan Fielding sleeps with, he actually "respects" Christine and can't casually sleep with her (over a bet they made). So, the question is, do you love and respect your partner? I can certainly see Malcolm Gladwell's point though. People who are excessively paranoid and unable to connect with others are in general at a potential disadvantage. Thanks for a great talk!

[@poppinpatty2507]

You are very smart to be paranoid, be paranoid. I am out to get you, I've been watching you for over 20 years, I could tell you what you had for breakfast this morning. I know your favorite restaurant and I know where you go grocery shopping. LMAO! LMAO😀🤸‍♀️ Great comment😀 Night Court was such a funny show, I don't think we will see a show like that on network TV anymore because they could get raunchy and pushed the envelope a lot which were some of the things that made it so funny.I heard people are working on a reboot of night court with John Larikat coming back to play Dan fielding. Sadly he is the only original cast member coming back because most of them have passed away, Time flies when you're getting old, it does not seem like it was that long ago when Night court was on TV, LMAO👨‍⚖️ everybody in my neighborhood is jaded and a little paranoid, you kind of have to be around here. People think I'm a real jerk when I go to other parts of the country even when I'm not trying to be. Lol. Good luck and stay safe! Remember to always look over your shoulder, LMAO😀

[@RezaRob3]

@Phil Dodd (HistoriaAntiqua.ORG) You raise a very interesting question: is deception or lying ever ethical? And if so, then under what circumstances? Somebody once asked, would you lie to a cancer patient if you thought it would improve their chances? The fact that lying can work is a scientifically proven fact in some sense. That's why drugs are tested against placebos to control for the famous placebo effect. If lying is ever ethical, then it certainly depends on the circumstance. If you know a particular person's history, and they prefer not knowing about the severity of their cancer, then that might influence your decision. On the other hand, certain people really want to know the facts, and the knowledge might help them. I can't imagine a serious businessperson, politician, or any responsible individual who needs to make decisions, not wanting to know the facts, or wanting to be lied to! However, how you tell someone the facts still matters a great deal. You can still clearly state your points, and discuss matters of disagreement, without insulting and injuring the other person's self-respect or ego when there is no need for doing so. Example: you can tell someone, "I'm amazed by your skills on the motorcycle, but I had a good cousin who died on the motorcycle and left behind two children and a wife. It's really important to be careful." Does this mean that you're "sucking up" to this person? Not really. You have done your best to pass on the message and communicate that you care for this person, but you have let them keep their dignity and respect. Again, I must stress that different contexts are different! Sometimes you might find yourself in a critical business or political situation where pointing out incorrect ideas quickly is important and there isn't a great deal of time for "verbal gymnastics." But you still should do your best to communicate effectively without causing pain and offense to your friends. I'm one of those people who certainly likes hearing the truth, but I most certainly prefer a friendly, respectful, and fair atmosphere. Tell me what you think I'm doing wrong, but try to tell me as a friend who really cares and is interested in hearing my side of the story. Give me a fair chance to think about it and possibly formulate a response, and allow a fair chance for that response to be heard. The case of the politician that you mentioned is a very interesting one. Indeed, why do people vote for politicians who are dishonest? At least in part, this is because people lose hope that the political problems are easily solvable, and they end up voting for someone whom they believe to have at least "good intentions" even if they don't have real solutions! We are using political systems created many decades ago, while the proper use of the internet and IT could significantly improve our political system and make it more responsible and efficient. Democracy as a form of government has been criticized throughout history all the way from Plato to Churchill. I think Churchill quoted someone else when he said, democracy is the worst form of government except all others that we have tried. Perhaps there is a way that modern information technology can help us keep the basic ideals of democracy while avoiding it's harms. On the other end of the spectrum is the case of the student who might want to "suck up" to the teacher. This situation, as far as I understand, is a lot better controlled than the case of the politician because the teacher's work is subject to checking and reviews through such things as provincial examinations. The scientific peer review process, likewise, provides a meritocratic system that is far more reliable from what you see in politics. The education system has had numerous amazing successes and is responsible for much of what we call "the modern world." A good example is Einstein who is sometimes rumored to have been failing in math, but in reality, it appears that he was excellent in his math courses. However, the education system does have it's flaws. The scientific peer review system was no good to George Cantor, father of set theory, who was very sharply attacked and criticized by some leading mathematicians of his time. Today, his work is considered to be the foundation of all mathematics. Or the case of Frank Whittle who invented the jet engine and was ignored by his own government for years until German scientists (during WW2) built the jet engine. In other words, the shortcomings of the education system often tend to be more subtle than simply "sucking up to the teacher."

[@greenhearted8453]

@@RezaRob3 You asked, "You raise a very interesting question: is deception or lying ever ethical? " My husband often says that truth is that which creates peace in the world. There are many ways one could take that. What I've realized is that everyone has their own "truth" and that no one knows what the reality of a situation is ... so sometimes what might seem like lying is simply someone speaking their own faulty truth.

[@RezaRob3]

@@greenhearted8453 in that situation, how do you check and verify which truth is "faulty?"

[@cliftoncameron5632]

A gift and this is only the beginning. Thank you

[@mazy4946]

0:24 when Malcolm realized that spectators don’t understand soccer and he explained his joke to the audience. Lol

[@rose4490]

I understand about soccer, I just don't care. 😄

[@0ijm3409fiwrekj]

football*

[@dons9263]

It's FOOTBALL, not soccer.

[@djmips]

@@dons9263 The word "soccer" was a recognized way of referring to Association football in the UK until around the 1970s, when it began to be perceived incorrectly as an Americanism.

[@GigiUK]

This was filmed in London 🙄 …he also talks about ‘pounds’ not ‘dollars’, and "…for those of you who don’t know New York". Also, he was born in England.

[@loretagema9085]

People in affluent Western societies, who've never experienced life under an authoritarian rule, feel much safer, are relaxed and laid-back. Those from Eastern Europe are often surprised at how naive and gullible westerners can be on certain issues. Authoritarian regimes, on the other hand, have no qualms, are cunning and ruthless, and their citizens, who were forced to live double lives, are sceptical, distrustful, often cynical to this day, even younger generations, 30 years after the collapse of the Berlin wall. This is what lies at the root of what Malcolm Gladwell is talking about.

[@andyharpist2938]

I have the 'open door test'. By and large, if there is someone behind me ( or even right infront of me) at a doorway, I find in UK or USA that person knowing I am there will hold the door open a fraction for me to catch, after them. I went to Poland and Russia. Norway too. There, the person in front of me will almost never hold the door open a fraction of a second longer than they themselves require to go through it. So it slams shut and I have to lug it open again. Its better for both of us if we assist each other even as strangers, but some societies have not reached that level of cooperation.

[@loretagema9085]

@@andyharpist2938 A very apt observation, although I'm surprised re Norway. This irritates me a lot too. May be it's the climate - it can get very cold in the countries you mentiones and people are used to keepin cold out! (joking :) ) It would be nice if thei cooperated, but it's not as simple as that. There is something in the subsonscious, sth in their culture and history. I wonder what.

[@andyharpist2938]

@@loretagema9085 Its because some societies have not reached the level that people subscribe to them enough to believe that its not all about you...and that by helping each other the society becomes stronger for little effort. Its a bit like "deferred reward" Plant the crop rather than eat the seed. I think that this is not all thats happening though. Norway us a very empty place and strangers are rather suspected I have found.

[@t-love8351]

that explains why united statesians are so aggressive and paranoid. living under a fascist regime backed by militia and brutal police force conditioned them to become this way, something difficult to fathom in eastern europe and parts of asia and africa. definitely glad we don’t live in north america!

[@kalaharisurfer9605]

I have just finished reading "Talking to Strangers" and it's one of the most interesting books I have ever read.

[@mattystewart8]

What makes it interesting? As someone who has literally just heard about said book.

[@kalaharisurfer9605]

@@mattystewart8 read it and discover for yourself, is my advice.

[@alanbejarano4940]

@@kalaharisurfer9605 in a single sentence, what is the Main idea of the book?

[@kalaharisurfer9605]

@@alanbejarano4940 it covers many topics. Read it and judge for yourself.

[@snakeoo7ca]

@@kalaharisurfer9605 Sounds like you didn't read the book if you can't even describe it in one sentence... why even comment at all 🤡

[@originalhazelgreene]

Is it just me or did we never get to the topic mentioned in the title

[@260Dee1_v2]

Well, that's because that's the title of the book rather than the title of the talk.

[@punkseth1]

@@260Dee1_v2 ohhhh i will have to read the book in that case... because that's what i was looking for haha i kept expecting it to come around to chatting with strangers

[@the_alchemy_method]

Hes been indoctrinated

[@mask9558]

Going by the title I’m assuming the topic would be “what you should know about talking to strangers”. If that’s the case then he DID get to the topic. The answer was trusts. To effectively talk to strangers, build a company, etc. You have to be able to be trusting (or atleast appear to be)

[@XboxHanakman]

I think it's referring to the double agents. Talking to someone you think you know, when in actuality they're someone else - a stranger

[@chrisofnottingham]

The irony of Gladwell warning people not to be fooled

[@bunnystrasse]

Why tho

[@trentvlak]

@@bunnystrasse Because his books age poorly and are shown to be based on fallacies. There is no 10,000hr rule, the Kitty Genovese story didn't happen remotely close to how he tells it, and Michael Brown assaulted Wilson.

[@stevesmith4901]

What makes this funny for me is that Malcolm Gladwell is known to stretch the truth every now an then for his books. I mean, think about it, no one belts out a hit after a hit without leaning on falsehoods.

[@SirGalaEd]

Love the way he tells a story

[@stevenhs8821]

And there is so much fake authenticity, we can't detect that either. Such a sad world we live in.

[@brianwalsh1401]

Trust your gut instinct as well. If you are around narcissists and sociopaths or people who are going to do you harm your instincts will let you know something is wrong with this person, danger. A lot of us have stopped listening or we don't trust ourselves so we don't listen. These people are very charming and are good at duping us. The con people of the world.

[@michaelfried3123]

so stay away from Trump or any of his supporters...got it. :)

[@francinepare4247]

I could listen to him all day. Fascinating and interesting.

[@sj4267]

As weird as it might sound to some.. I've always felt the energy of the person rather than the words they are saying, how they look, what they do etc... None of that matters to me, it's about their vibe, I think you can tell a lot from that. But you've got to be present for it to be clear.

[@davidlee4712]

100% with you. there is also a level beyond this. In my experience, the Highly intelligent can take advantage of this. They know know you’re present. They know you’re watching so can use that knowledge against you. Always be careful, never careless friend. Only time and Consistency can really filter these types out. But also be optimistic. With a dose of healthy skepticism ;)

[@sj4267]

@@davidlee4712 Appreciate your perspective :)

[@dalewetzel3029]

It doesn’t sound weird. It is the pinnacle of nonsense.

[@sj4267]

@@dalewetzel3029 Everyones entitled to their opinion :)

[@elifggg1206]

True

[@howardkoor9365]

Another wonderful Gladwell story!

[@lak1294]

What incredible story-telling. 😳 Bravo, Malcolm Gladwell!

[@stanleyklein524]

That is ALL that it is.

[@alext8828]

The "Moutain Climber" should have said; "I know. That's what a double agent does. We know everything through this man." I was in Havana years ago, trying to sell vacuum cleaners.

[@bbaqaz219]

This CD is absolutely wonderful! kzbin.infoUgkxzpa8CIfZcihW4Z0F_ja0QF3W9KIatrsq I liked it so much that I bought a copy for my sister who also liked it. It is very well done. I like the fact that there is nothing in the background to disturb - no music. I am able to concentrate on the various steps of meditation. The pauses are perfect, and him's voice is soothing and encouraging. I would highly recommend this, especially for beginners. I think I will always be a beginner.

[@polanve]

I live in Rockland County, and I resemble those remarks!

[@MrUndersolo]

😂

[@skbuydens7717]

If you understand that normal life forces you to be deceptive, then your skillset improves dramatically.

[@starryshadrach6803]

Nigerians are not deceptive, we are just "over-the-whole-place" in today's word Genius... Thanks Gladwell for recognising Nigeria in a non-nigerian way

[@truthseeker60403]

I think you’re right from the few Nigerians I’ve had contact with.

[@ThePlantParadigm]

Malcolm tells the most fascinating stories

[@SelmaPiro]

Thank you Malcolm Gladwell - another excellent presentation. It is true we are at risk, humanity, from that 1% major deception that we must guard against - we need to become more mature and discerning as a human race now. I find the Wisdom shared by the Allies of Humanity in their Briefings about the Greater Community into which we are emerging, to be incredibly useful in this respect. Well worth taking a look at - they are free to read online.

[@the_alchemy_method]

Hes onboard with the whole 1%. Call from obama kind of leaked out 😉

[@SelmaSPiro]

@@evermoreart The Briefings from the Allies of Humanity are REAL.

[@norwoodgolf8]

I thought the Cuban spy story was going to end with the Mountain Climber saying, "You know Marta? She's working for us!"

[@SaraFJones]

I feel better about so many things! 😂😂😂 I was convinced I am incredibly naïve! I’m no more so than any other and it’s good to know! 😂🤪 things happen and in hindsight better decisions could have been made! Great lessons to learn and yes, they too come at a price!

[@bellavia5]

"Be kind to strangers because sometimes you're a stranger too"... Sean Penn WE'RE NO ANGELS

[@robertwintersteen3065]

This video was a wild ride. I did not expect nearly as much spy drama as there was lol

[@azmodanpc]

The work at home guy telling people to go work in the office. Highly coherent.

[@ottobihrer732]

I learned nothing, I hadn't already known, but how a guy can get famous by writing and talking about one-sentence wisdom as old as human kind and I knew that too.

[@JishinimaTidehoshi]

'Cause he's a con-artist

[@johnames6430]

If you have a higher IQ than the majority of the popuation you can put things in a way that to them seems incredible. Most people are not good thinkers and have very average IQ.

[@stanleyklein524]

@@JishinimaTidehoshi Ditto.

[@stanleyklein524]

@@johnames6430 the video showcases one such person. His audience is the sadly large set of like-abled acolytes.

[@Rithmy]

@@stanleyklein524 How did you see that the audience is the large set of like-abled acolytes? What makes them acolytes?

[@ken-mb5cp]

I don’t believe anyone. But I love you all.

[@KaBoomChannel]

I use to drive a yellow cab in NYC for 10 years and I can honestly say 5 out of 10 people or half the people you will meet are fucking insane, at least in NYC

[@synewparadigm]

You have to be very wealthy or insane to live in NY.

[@truthseeker60403]

Now It’s probably upped to most of the people. Those not insane have escaped!

[@paulsolon6229]

Language

[@kerron68]

I missed the bit about talking to strangers.

[@joshmatiluko]

Sir Gladwell is an Alpha Genius.... His audio books are the best... Thank you Gladwell

[@stanleyklein524]

Some judge you are!

[@letsif]

I think evolution has selected for deceitfulness as the dominating trait for survival of the fittest. Nature isn't moral, just ruthless.

[@ramentransformers773]

Jesus what a tough crowd!

[@sedisvacantia8581]

Is this story going anywhere after the first ten minutes? I feel like I'm listening to my Grandpa rambling about "the guy at that place with the thing that one time".

[@ammeamdi7509]

Just finished reading this book . Educative.

[@chaosdweller]

Thx I think I'll be reading it soon.

[@dirtfarmer7472]

@@chaosdweller Be ready to be surprised, by yourself

[@Msfinable]

This video was 100% not what I thought it would be, but very interesting!

[@braveulysses2000]

that feeling when you talk to a stranger and then end up flying on his private plane, the lolita express

[@andyharpist2938]

yes. power and money, and a little threat, can be seductive ...very few can resist....

[@ardoci]

How perfectly apt considering what's happened since March 2020.

[@truepeacenik]

How did I not know Gladwell was so hilarious? I didn’t get that in his books very clearly. Must be time to reread.

[@videopyc]

The brain deciphers what you read in the book. At the end, the lessons learned were you the ones who fitted with your own narrative. If you read the book again you will come up with a new narrative because you have evolved since. But viewing on KZbin the writer’s book provides you with its own perspective. Which is different activity for the brain than reading.

[@gerrybonshor4150]

Mr. Gladwell, please do a book about stupidity.

[@redmed10]

That's the problem with spying. It becomes such a game of I know that you know that I know and so on forever.

[@emrehanli]

I don't want to believe actually an ad came up while I was watching this blah book advertorial. It's amazing how these mainstream big names not only get away with wasting so much time but also make money doing so.

[@hijodelaisla275]

"actually"

[@winstonowen2054]

Entertaining education. Just brilliant. I watched this twice this week.

[@chandneetomar]

i felt blank for first few minutes, then came read the comments(more interesting than the video), and then resumed the video, and could better get his point.

[@martyfoster7053]

you lost me at 5:06, when I almost feel asleep, waiting for you to finally say something! Dang dude... get on with it!

[@mmartinu327]

"Evolution has not selected us to be good at detecting lies, it selected us to be gullible."

[@CharbelSalemSLA]

Really didnt get the point of this talk. So “Trust because the chance to be deceived is low and that’s partly why the world has evolved”. I found that it’s the same in his books, he keeps beating around the bush and it takes forever for him to make a point.

[@augustl8876]

So... what happened to dude's girlfriend who was in the trunk of the car? I know there's a lot more philosophical and deep talking points to take away from this, but after watching the whole video, that's the one question that's left burning in my mind.

[@avjake]

If only Harvard produced more Malcolm Gladwells and fewer bankers and corporate lawyers.

[@saynototheborg]

Well that’s the problem with the cathedral

[@latetodagame1892]

Harvard is stupid and so are you.

[@truthseeker60403]

And politicians?

[@greggoreo6738]

This. Ah . Guy. Ah. Needs, ah, Toast Masters, ah. Or. Ah. A speech coach. To. Ah, help him stop his vocal pauses. I love Gladwell's writings. Malcolm's public speaking...is 0f Caveman status. Please Gladwell! Get a COACH!!! Gregg Oreo long Beach Ca

[@apricotcomputers3943]

I read his most popular book. He's really intelligent.

[@mattymuso2108]

"Sometimes we overlook the consequences of the fact that there is this particular consequence to effective communication." What does this mean?

[@apricotcomputers3943]

@@mattymuso2108 Well.. that question puts you in a position of humility.

[@surfwriter8461]

@@mattymuso2108 It's meaningless double-talk and redundant. Similar to Monty Python's character who runs the Department of Redundancy Dept.

[@surfwriter8461]

Are you being facetious or simple-minded here? I hope it's the former, because the latter would suggest you are one of the gullible folks with no critical thinking skills and no ability to even formulate a nuanced thought.

[@apricotcomputers3943]

@@surfwriter8461 I'm being honest... and don't be mean

[@Lucy-ks9qb]

Reminds me of that famous saying about how you should not whistle in the dark forest.

[@callingdrjones6976]

18:15 By choosing the person that it trustworthy over and over again it means we're strengthening our ability to detect the evil, paranoid, liar..isn't it?

[@partingmist8550]

No, his point is you can't tell if people are trust worthy. He is saying you choose the person who trust others not the person who is trustworthy. The person who is paranoid is not the lair, the person who is paranoid is the one who can detect liars. You don't have babies with the paranoid person because you think they are annoying for always questioning things and saying "well , that might not be true."

[@Dbb27]

I find untrustworthy people often exhibit red flags in that they will mention how they don’t want to be cheated or could be taken advantage of. I’m always wary of anyone hyper vigilant.

[@Steven-wz7sh]

@@Dbb27 the best deceiver likely don't show the red flags. I think that is his point and that we can all be deceived.