Tell Me You Have ADHD Without Telling Me You Have ADHD - The Signs Everyone Missed Growing Up

[@BabyBackManiac]

I think the "but he/she has no problems paying attention to videos games" phenomenon (*see also TV, Sports, music, legos, etc) has done more to keep kids from being diagnosed by well meaning parents than probably any other thing. It really is a bummer they call it attention "deficit" disorder instead of something more accurate.

[@rosieleaverton]

It should be called something like "ARD" for "Attention Regulation Disorder"

[@robina.9402]

It always feels like the name describes what neurotypical parents/teachers are frustrated with, not the actual experience of the person with ADHD.

[@sawyersweetart1042]

@@rosieleaverton 100%. "Attention deficit" sounds like if we just acquire more attention points (or brain RAM, or whatever) we'd be fixed. We have plenty of attention, dang it, we just can't aim it as well!

[@HowtoADHD]

@Sawyer Sweet Art haha yep love that. "we can't aim it as well!" 😂

[@DaleESkywalker]

I've had it explained as *Attention to Detail Disorder,* which is not really a disorder; it's a *superpower.*

[@frisog6948]

"wait I missed what they said" * rewinds 60 seconds * 30 seconds later: "wait I missed what they said"

[@HowtoADHD]

ACCURATE

[@frisog6948]

@@HowtoADHD it's like watching video's in reverse, it's so frustrating

[@JeantheSecond]

Ugh. I use to borrow people’s notes from lectures I attended just so I could fill in the gaps from when I stopped paying attention (even though I was trying to pay attention). So frustrating.

[@thepurpledusk3381]

It can take me up to an hour to watch a 15 minute video, especially if the topic makes me want to look something up. Google and smartphones have been both the best and worst inventions!

[@butterscotchgrove6151]

Especially when I don't make the video full screen. If I can see the thumbnails of other videos, I MUST read the titles, thus missing "what they said" yet again.

[@Azeria]

Oh here’s one: I downloaded a game today and I’m currently ranked 12th worldwide.

[@kitcat2449]

Ok that's not only adhd, that's skill

[@dps8629]

Behold, das flex.

[@CalebSpears1]

I literally got rid of my Xbox because of this. I would hyper focus to the detriment of the rest of my iLife

[@CalebSpears1]

Life, not iLife. But that’s a funny typo

[@jackdixon6681]

downloading a new gacha game, researching the bet units to reroll for, spending and afternoon doing just that, powerlevelling, looking up meta guides and future units to watch out for, building a team that works and crushing through the ranks, then uninstalling the game a week later when it becomes a daily task rather than a sudden rush.

[@amandanicole7174]

When you said “you have so much potential. Why don’t you just try harder?” It hit me like a ton of bricks. 😭

[@iroco0494]

Me too!

[@wetwilly88]

Me too. My whole life I've been label as the bad kid in the family. I haven't been diagnosed but I have every symptom for ADHD.. Sucks cause now I'm 32 with no job cause I feel like I'm a lost cause..

[@captainmaim]

yup.

[@lallydoo24]

me too i remember been a high achiever in the classroom and then how disappointed my teachers were after every test and exam. I just couldn't concentrate and focus on tests/ exams

[@eileencita]

Or "stop trying. Just do it!".

[@FAB1150]

"oh it's 7pm, I haven't had lunch yet"

[@HowtoADHD]

@fab1150 We would love to potentially use this comment for a future video. Are you comfortable with us sharing the comment with your username or would you rather remain anonymous?

[@FAB1150]

@@HowtoADHD hi! It's completely fine, thank you for asking ☺️

[@beethovenbeats]

“Tell me you have ADHD without telling me you have ADHD” *watching hours of videos on ADHD while I have 37 other things to do that I can’t focus on*

[@GIRLintheGLOWINGmask]

And then reading comments too!!!! 😉

[@amosmo5es]

Lol

[@alexapichardo5230]

This is me literally right now lol

[@avieebvlogs8018]

Yes

[@tenglee93]

Skipping the video every other 5 seconds

[@agibson9020]

I got chills all over my body when she talked about people talking about your wasted potential and assuming it’s a moral failure. Thanks for saying it out loud!!

[@OldManSparkplug]

I memorized that speech from my parents because I heard it so often. I still hear it echoing in my head on bad days.

[@juhivarma7160]

Yes, reading in the corner around extended family! That was me.

[@patchouliodonovan9529]

Every school report I ever got said some variation of 'is a bright girl, very funny and a pleasure to have in class, sometimes easily distracted. Has a lot of potential, she just needs to apply herself'. As I got older, teachers would often trot out 'You could be a straight-A student if you applied yourself' and my retort became 'or I could continue to put in no effort and still be in the top 5% of my year group'. Always buried in a book, in English class we would read the book we would be studied out loud as a class (THE WORST THING TO SIT THROUGH). I would read ahead so I finished the book before anyone else, then be reading my own book under the desk, I'd work out which page we would be own when it was my turn to read in advance so I could jump in and read my pages without anyone noticing I was doing my own thing the rest of the time. I was a 'gifted child' also. I've been assessed twice for AHHD and told I don't have it.

[@DavidRamgobin]

This and the disorganization got me caught in a 1-2. Fighting for my life xD

[@Voitto123]

Yes, I was a good student but I made lots of "careless" mistakes, didn't understand how to direct my focus (seemed like overachieving to others) and was always told I could be so exceptional if I just tried a little and well, I tried my best and just never understood why I can't try harder I was just told I should try caring about school a little by paying more attention at class

[@maliatale]

I think my “giftedness” is what has been saving me from being absolutely useless the whole life, like thanks to my intellect I can achieve at least something like a normal human being

[@tiagobelo4965]

Eyyy, my man, I feel your pain

[@joejo4549]

I think a lot of the time it can prevent people learning study strategies when young

[@tiagobelo4965]

@@joejo4549 oh, absolutely, when you can't and don't need to study you never learn how to

[@JeantheSecond]

Same. If I was of average intelligence, I don’t know what would have happened to me.

[@lolitsdamian]

@@tropicaldisaster8135 Your school most likely has programs available to check in with. You no longer require your parents to take you seriously. You can adopt the responsibility for yourself! It's definitely hard. But don't wait for them to hear you to seek help.

[@kgilburg]

It’s really hard to find out you have ADHD at the age of 79! But it’s also comforting to know I’m not crazy!

[@godpoet1]

I’m 70 & only just figured this out.

[@showercapchats8838]

I am 66 and same same

[@angelayorkcrane5618]

63 and same.

[@truthseeker5190]

53 and same. Literally the only definition of it put out there back in the day was of a naughty misbehaving hyperactive boy who couldn't sit still in class! That wasn't me!

[@mondohdz531]

Sending love your way. I just found out now at 35. I couldn’t imagine much later.

[@Marie-ls4nb]

“The thing that i want most from the world is for people to stop getting yelled at for things that they struggle with.” Damn….

[@kendranieuwendorp5511]

Sooooo true. This is something I want my family and even my spouse to understand. Like I literally can't help it and I'm trying sooooo dang hard, so getting yelled at for it makes it even more difficult to be successful. Like each little thing I do complete is a victory for me

[@TheAbandonedAccount7]

If only...

[@thecodingarchitect]

@@kendranieuwendorp5511 So relatable. What I hear a lot when I try to explain a symptom, is that it's an excuse.. or the "everyone has that **sometimes**".. But the struggle is real and it never goes away instead of suffering "**sometimes**". So instead of explaining the pattern and having the other recognize it so they can help, it ends up in discussions usually ending with the other saying "I just don't understand you/it, how can

[@autumn5852]

@@TheAbandonedAccount7 I agree 🥲 I’ve finally ditched my last nt friend and my family because I’m done with getting marginalised and judged on my adhd traits and never seen for the actual amazing progress I’m making - by now, if they won’t take the time to understand me better, I’ve realised that they probably never will and I’m hurting myself if I continue on with these relationships, so as much as it hurts right now, I feel like this is a key to unlocking a brighter future for me

[@wetwilly88]

@@autumn5852 hang in there 👍

[@jennyreese4913]

"getting distracted is not a moral defect" Holy crap that hit me in my heart.

[@jonnivaldes5597]

I cried.

[@MaidMirawyn]

I needed to hear that so much!

[@Outside_girl]

I needed to hear that too. I have a big lump in my throat and tears.

[@taicrunch4189]

The idea that hyperactivity isn't always physical was really reassuring. It also explains my entire childhood.

[@kendranieuwendorp5511]

Meeeeee

[@TheNinnyfee]

Mine, too. Clumsiness, talking constantly, constant jitteryness, eating to calm myself...

[@laryrumiantzeff]

Same here

[@lizzieluz]

Samesies!!!

[@somewagyuenjoyer]

I was hyperactive. My life was cool.

[@DrakkariD]

I was beaten almost every day when I was a kid because I couldn't focus. Unfortunately the last time gave me a brain injury so now I have terrible memory problems. I hope and pray for anyone that needs help, that they receive it.

[@staceyrileyartist7884]

😟 That is heartbreaking. I’m so sorry. 😔💛

[@jennifercartwright2360]

Oh God, I am so sorry that this happened to you. No child ever deserves to be beaten. 😢

[@starpeep5769]

wow so they gave you worse memory problems for not remembering 💀😍🤡

[@june.w.1288]

This is so sad I'm very sorry this happened to you. 🖤💜

[@Grimmsister23]

Definitely the biggest sign for me was reading. My parents literally had to tear books out of my hands to try and get me to eat. Time was (and still is) nonexistent when I read. But because reading is thought of as a good thing for kids to do, no one really noticed. I would panic and do assignments the night before, but still do well on them. I would scream and cry about having to do dishes or call someone on the phone, both of which felt physically painful for me to do.

[@jaronimoh]

Mine is the opposite...I have the hardest time focusing to read. But I can get really into organizing and sorting things and easily lose track of time... So random I know

[@devsie11915]

When I was a kid I always had my nose in a book. These days I struggle to find one that keeps my interest long enough to finish it.

[@lesbiangoddess290]

Oh no. This is so me. The dishes were and still are the bane of my existence

[@natashambulo3510]

I also lose time when hyperfocused on reading

[@ChubbyVampire_]

same! my parents used to turn off the power to my room so I wouldn't spend the whole night reading, also I was not allowed a flashlight so I used my Nintendo DS as a light bc the battery lasted for ever xD

[@asgard1913]

oh lawd, the "being gifted but only ending up as an 'average' student" describes me to a 'T'. Like, my standardized tests always put me at the 97th+ percentile in subjects that I thought were cool, but things I found hard to focus on were always average at best. A while back I was helping my Dad clear out our old house to sell and I looked through all my report cards/progress reports and 95% of them had some variation of "does not work to potential" "is incredibly smart, but doesn't try" or "seems bored during class". It's kind of a miracle I even made it out of high school untreated.

[@greatauntlizbethg9137]

...'could try harder' 🙄

[@JeffHendricks]

I had the same story. But 40 years ago, there was essentially no one who understood it or could diagnose it. I'm surprised I made it through high school without losing my sanity.

[@thumperlovinyew3528]

I got the potential lecture directly from teachers... It was hard to watch them sincerely want me to be my best but not understand it would take involvement other than telling me to just do it...

[@sleepingatthefrontrow]

I feel you. I literally had a teacher give me extra points because I made the exam 5 times and continued to get a low grade. I would study with a group but the second my mind wandered, I forgot everything.

[@commentbot9510]

I was the opposite. I could to the school work and get the grades, but the standardized tests were nearly impossible. I never had enough time and would only complete about half the questions. It wouldn’t take long for me to be bored out of my mind and find it extremely difficult to focus. The end of the ACT was just looking at graphs but I couldn’t even do it because I was so burnt out. They really think 1 5 min “break” is enough. This is why I absolutely hate the fact that the ACT and SAT are used as a way to show intelligence. What it really is is a way of showing who can go the longest without losing their mind.

[@kjb-gamesandreading3981]

My elementary school librarian was considered a strict, mean woman. She was one of the only three adults in that school who actually put time in to try and understand me, because she saw me in the library, so devoted to reading the books that I chose, rather than the assigned stuff. She saw every time I "lost" or left a book at home and knew it was because I was reading or rereading books that at that point were several years ahead of my grade. She talked to me, helped me focus, gently reminded me to redirect my focus. She still greets me excitedly, asks about what I've read, a decade and then some later. The other two were a teaching assistant who had been helping kids diagnosed with autism for half a decade, and my fourth grade teacher, whom had a child diagnosed with adhd

[@kjb-gamesandreading3981]

And I've always described my thought process as "Explosive" because it starts at one small point, then goes absolutely everywhere. And my college public speaking professor loved me for it, cause it meant I could put very shorthanded bullet points and still took up the expected time or more

[@mikaylacraghead9660]

Hard to not get mad that nobody noticed any of the obvious signs as a kid. The more I learn about adhd symptoms the more they line up with how I am and how I was, and the more frustrating it is that I'm the first one to notice or care.

[@jeng6786]

My mom knew, she just didn't want me on pills because she doesn't trust them, so she never got me tested/ diagnosed.

[@arianne2670]

Same. I can acknowledge that my parents had good intentions (and they did some things very right), but that doesn't change the fact that I struggled needlessly for most of my life and I'll probably be suffering the repercussions forever.

[@TheNightwalker247]

Yea going trough something similar right now it's completly understandable that feelings of anger resentment grief etc come up. There is a fantastic video on this channel about the five stages of grief of finding out later in life that you have adhd. The five stages of grief: denial anger bargaining depression acceptance. Haven't talked with my mum about it yet (she is a teacher and gave two recommendations for the parents of kids in her class that they have adhd and they did) but i guess it's harder to see in your own kids. I'm pretty certain my mum has adhd too ...the more i watch of this awesome channel the clearer my past and present actions/behaviours become understandble through the lens of adhd. It just feels great to finally understand myself. And to be more forgiving with myself.( my selfworth has definitly risen since) But of course there is quite a bit of resentment and anger that i hve to work trough. My mom is a waldorf teacher and is a bit alternativ so i understand why she didn't figure out she has it or that i and two of my 4 siblings prob. also have it. Btw i am 23 and apprenticing to become a farmer. It is interesting how many Neurotypical people are becoming conventional farmers and how many more neuro diverse people are on the organic and regenerativ farms. Well just had to get this out... hope this helpes with not feeling alone in this situation.

[@saal0]

@@jeng6786 the movement of stopping kids from getting labels as kids did more harm than good in my case. I think an early diagnosis would have helped me so much. Now waiting to get tested at 24.

[@jeng6786]

@@saal0 yea. I just got diagnosed and on my first try if pills at 26. I didn't know I had it.

[@hotcoffeewarmpages]

Yes, TIME BLINDNESS! I was a “gifted” kid, too, and a perfectionist about little things no one else cared about (sign #2). Also the kid with a book everywhere. And I had to go get diagnosed myself AFTER struggling with school and work for years. Oh, and drifting off in the middle of conversations or reading when I could have sworn I was paying attention… And oh my god, procrastinating on going to the bathroom! I thought I was alone on that!

[@IDK_Mr.M]

I am aware of time but i calculate what time it should take. Then wait - then have to force myself to do it or forget just before i should have

[@singingsimmers1829]

Especially being a gifted kid in school when you’re younger and so your teacher just excuses you not doing homework because you’re smart so when you actually have to do homework you’re kind of screwed

[@guacamole4258]

I could have written a reply almost identical to yours!

[@coffeeconfessor4747]

That bathroom thing.... I'm glad I'm not the only one who's body doesn't recognize literally any physical signals for anything when I'm hyper-focused on something.

[@DonnaMcMasterRiver]

At 70 I can tell you that the bathroom delay doesn’t go away; it just gets more dangerous! 😳

[@thecodingarchitect]

This one really hit home. Wow. I was diagnosed at age 35. The "gifted", wasted potential, moral problem, social awkwardness, expert in procrastinating, reading in the corner and so much more.

[@SirMysticRob]

Yep. At 30, I'm just now at the point of 100% sure myself I need to get tested for ADHD after not being sure what has been "wrong" with me my whole life. It is very reassuring to see you were diagnosed at 35 so there is still hope if I do have it, it will be noted. I just wish I hadn't missed so much time by not knowing because being "gifted" has gotten in the way of understanding or noticing my hindrances from the outside. But it's nice to know I may find an answer still

[@truthbeseen7428]

You are simply perfect just the way you are!

[@MrKeychange]

Wasted potential is for the dead. Think of it as if it's in queue, waiting to be unleashed. It's never too late to access your tools. ✌️

[@lizzieluz]

@@MrKeychange that is actually a really great way to put it, I like it and I’m stealing it! 😅

[@SirMysticRob]

@@MrKeychange that's a cool way to look at it

[@Tacsponge]

Loved learning, loved talking to the teacher. Never did homework. " he has many good ideas, but presentation gets in the way of understanding them"

[@Lifea16]

Same 😅😢

[@brettneuberger6466]

“I don’t understand….why would you use a pencil?” These were the words my law school professor wrote after grading my blue book exam. Unbeknownst to me at the time, my adhd had always made it difficult to transfer ideas in my mind onto paper in a quick, coherent and organized manner. With time restraints as they were, I needed a way to edit as I wrote, and ink doesn’t erase. I ended up dropping out of Law School after the first semester, believing I just wasn’t smart enough to cut it. Twenty five years later, after my son was diagnosed with ADHD, I finally had the real answer to my professor’s question.

[@joaomarcelo742]

Wow, this is exactly me. Never done a dissertation without writing it first with a pencil

[@xaiga29]

I prefer to type rather than write because my thoughts and sentences change so rapidly. Editing typed words is so much easier. The most I ever write at one time these days can be contained on a post it note

[@Kris-wo4pj]

whats wrong with using a pencil?

[@Diamanrouge]

@@Kris-wo4pj it's considered unrofessionnal, and you give the impression that the one whose going to read you doen't really matter. Pencil is NOT easy on the eyes to read.

[@jackgill7014]

I’m the same way, plus handwriting for me is insanely sloppy with pen vs pencil

[@MCMCristina]

The crazy amount of times I cried feeling like a failure because I couldn't do the simple things everyone was asking of me. People telling me I could be brilliant if I just tried a little more as if "trying harder" was that simple

[@TheNightwalker247]

That hit right in the feels.

[@ulrikschackmeyer848]

Jeezz IT hurts remembering

[@christinamurphy9090]

Still makes me cry. I was recently diagnosed, in my 40s, and I think my diagnosis road is still not done. Reliving the trauma is tantamount to torture.

[@r.n.4765]

Very relatable. I feel like I am alway putting in twice the amount of effort to get similar results to others. Oftentimes, I get really positive feedback, but also negative comments (or marks taken off in school/uni) due to seemingly careless mistakes, even after spending all that extra time trying to get things right.

[@burgerforcongress1001]

There's that J-word again!

[@sunburntsatan6475]

A speaker at an ADHD seminar called ADHD an "intention deficit disorder". This is very relatable, since often times I know exactly what I'm supposed to do, how I'm supposed to do it, but my intentions don't translate to actions very easily.

[@dannyl2598]

Dr Barclay said," you don't have a problem knowing what to do, you have a problem doing what you know." That was an eye opener for me. That's when I knew that this guy knew what he was talking about.

[@lonewolf4612]

I've been told my whole life that I have a motivation problem. Then, when I was in the process of finally being assessed properly to get a diagnosis, every single professional I spoke to told me "well, you're clearly HIGHLY motivated." I learned to explain that motivation doesn't connect to action for me. I think motivation and intention are two sides of a really weird coin, and my brain doesn't accept that form of currency..

[@RuailleBuaille]

I was told recently by an instructor that he had never met someone who had so many intentions and so little execution. Plans and dreams for days, but no way to put any of them in motion.

[@carliejung8408]

yeah I've watched that too and it really resonates!

[@geager2]

I think "attention displacement disorder" would feel pretty accurate

[@ironheavenz]

Oh my god the "wasted potential" speech pretty much every adult gave me, everyone calling me lazy, "the minimum effort genius" really hit hard during childhood and teen years. It's amazing and incredibly sad how we seem to struggle with stuff that is so similar if not identical. Hope the future is brighter and easier for next generations, at least we got eachother!

[@plainmarienc]

This. The wasted potential speech still pisses me off in retrospect.

[@BrickNewton]

Could apply himself more was always in my school reports. It always came as a punch to the gut as I thought I had given everything I had, plus it made my parents talk to me about how I could do better which just made me feel ashamed and embarrassed. Also my older sister always did really well at school and made it hard as they expected me to be similar.

[@HowtoADHD]

We would love to potentially use this comment for a future video. Are you comfortable with us sharing the comment with your username or would you rather remain anonymous?

[@krispowers2666]

A psychologist once remarked to me that "ADHDers are forever cursed by the one time they get it right". One of the signs that parents don't know how to track is this "hit/miss" rate of basic task completion, like putting dishes on the counter, or picking up toys. Parents don't know what a neuro-typical response rate might be so tend to default to "if they did it once, they can do it again". Which is logical, and is also something that ADHDers can't control on their own.

[@angelalovell5669]

!!! I was always so proud of getting 100% in an assignment or a test (pfft, it didn't happen very often) but now that I think about it, why did I think that 100% was the base minimum for achievement? Genuinely, anything less and I was like "Well... you screwed that up."

[@blindaurora]

Ok, this articulates that issue so well, as an adult achievement actually can bring on a panic attack because I will now have this standard to uphold.

[@IamSlacker]

I can't upvote this comment enough. I'm 100% programmed to aim for perfect or it's automatically a failure. It also makes it that much harder to get started on things that are difficult, not interesting, not urgent, because I'm dreading every step of the process towards a most probable fail and disappointing myself and the people in my life. How do I even figure out how to reset my programming when I built mine since I was a toddler? 🤦

[@mermaiddiyartist8119]

Exactly!!

[@XtraSparklesPls]

Wow, this is so true! So many people say to me, you did it such and such a time, why can't you do it again?

[@andier-m9j]

Please please please PLEASE have a shirt made that says “This is me trying.” I’ll take one in every color.

[@bethmoore7722]

You could add “so hard” to that. Everything is such a struggle, and in the 60s, they treated it like a behavioral and even a moral failing. It was so painful.

[@andier-m9j]

@@bethmoore7722 I’m so grateful for Jessica and people like her making an effort for life to be less painful for this generation and the ones to come. My only hope is that there continues to be a growing compassion for people with disabilities who don’t know how to do any better than they are already doing.

[@mahoganyk]

I need this shirt so bad right now, so I don't have to repeat it to my mom a million more times

[@h.nicolejorgensen2077]

I would buy one too. 😎

[@kadmilossomnium]

Look for taylor swift merch. Its a song from folklore and its probably a shirt somewhere

[@Tracy-xe9zu]

I'm inattentive-type ADHD, so my symptoms were missed until I was almost 27 and accidentally found an article about ADHD in adult women. Daydreaming, having incredible difficulty focusing on tasks that were boring or high-executive-function, rushing thoughts, terrible working memory... but because I could hyperfocus on things I *did* enjoy, my parents and teachers took it to mean that I *could* focus and was choosing not to. I was also always losing things, struggled with having a desk/backpack that was super messy and disorganized.

[@ginnydixon233]

My experience exactly.

[@ColorMeIn]

This is my experience.

[@zeezehlin228]

exactly what I've been going through till now

[@Adelphos12]

Why am I in this comment...

[@quincyjones5676]

Same. My psychologist says I have both 🥺🥺🥺

[@Buphido]

My "tell me you have adhd without telling me you have adhd" sign is taking three times as long for uni coursework than everyone else, yet your answers being among the best in the course, yet also hopelessly failing the exam at the end of the semester. I have done that for 5 years too many until I finally got diagnosed.

[@Dylan_Scott]

"We're very now, or not now" -These few words literally brought me to tears because it is fundamentally my entire existence. Every single thing I do in a day is either throwing something figuratively so far in to the future that it's out of the way, or dealing with so much urgency that nothing else matters. My prioritisation is completely off the chart, I have no way of structuring tasks because I create so much urgency over the thing that is either the most rewarding or consequential at the time, rather than what fits in with a schedule.

[@desvdam]

s a m e

[@Espressoself96]

This is literally me. It's exhausting

[@gwynpeters6029]

I’ve always been super disorganized, like a complete mess. I’ve literally gotten up in the middle of the night before with a serious urge to ‘find that thing I bought the other week why can’t I remember where I put it’ and in that moment it seems like the most important task in the world. Then when I have real, actually important things to do, I can’t bring myself to even start. Until of course it hits me an hour before the deadline. It’s like my brain can’t figure out what’s actually urgent and what’s not.

[@anabel1208]

😭 Me too…it’s so overwhelming. My body can’t take the stress I put it through knowing I can be so much more organized and efficient.

[@yuur1ko]

@@gwynpeters6029 Agreed. 100% same boat.

[@cooky2991]

That Gifted VS ADHD balance each other out kinda hit me like a brick. I used to coast through school without doing jack and then it got to a point where I'd have to actually learn the stuff in class and pay attention and my grades plummeted ´just as I was trying to get it recognised that everything was too easy for me and I got bored. My parents didn't believe it because my brother was also bored but kept getting amazing grades (diagnosed autism, no diagnosed ADHD). I'll be getting an assessment in the near future and can't wait for it to happen

[@ayeshasatharia7746]

This was me. Up until grade 9, school was effortless. I didn’t study and got good grades. When school was a bit more challenging, I had no idea how to study and my grades plummeted

[@br4915]

I was constantly told if I just did the homework and maybe applied my self just a little I’d get strait A’s, still pretty much got strait B’s yet a few subjects did bad yet was just completely uninterested like in history periods of time just didn’t care about almost failed and the others did well

[@br4915]

Yet than in college was horrible couldn’t do the work outside the classroom

[@purplepianoist88]

Same..

[@Owlsworthy]

Good luck 🤞 you deserve to live life knowing your limitations and gifts without the hindrance of other's assumptions. Rock your life the way YOU were meant to.

[@calliespitson5760]

Whoaaaa the “I thought everyone hated me”/“multiple friend groups” tweet really got me. I never knew that was an ADHD thing. That almost makes me want to cry, reflecting back. Woof.

[@blindaurora]

Same. We moved when I was 11, and I was 16 when I made some friends.

[@katalintimeaborsos5806]

We moved to another country when I was 3. After that I thought nobody liked me a lot. I actually was surprised that in 1st grade I got an invitation to a birthday party, as I couldn't understand that it was for me too. I thought I was just shy.

[@MorganBondelid]

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria is a real thing !!! It helps me so much to know that it’s not ME - it’s a common response to complex trauma. You’re not alone.

[@morganhough1022]

Oooh, I really feel this one.

[@noctemys]

same i felt like my friends weren't really my friends in HS and often felt so left out when they did activities and didn't include me in them.

[@Biscotti.]

The whole part about not fitting into a single friend group hit way too close to home. I always feel like I’m at the center of a 3-circle Venn diagram that doesn’t quite intersect. It feels lonely. Edit: While it can definitely feel lonely at times, what really helps is taking advantage of any alone time. Sure, you may find days where you feel isolated from everyone and thinking about it only exacerbates that feeling. Instead of getting stuck in a mental rut, I highly recommend finding a hobby you can enjoy on your own. You'll be able to utilize those "hyper-focused" spurts towards something that can feel really rewarding and provides a sense of fulfilment. Hopefully this optimistic spin can help anyone feeling left out.

[@jesscarolan3315]

Yes!!!! I always feel like a spectator with friends, as opposed to being a part of the group.

[@jessycastoepker]

Oooh the Venn diagram hits

[@martime]

same

[@ryan8737]

I'll be your friend buddy

[@victoriansteam1562]

I found a friend group where it actually works but I kinda feel like the other two also have adhd and aren't diagnosed lol

[@GoADHDGo]

As I’ve stated many times before… conversations like this: “You ‘forgot’? How?” “I don’t know.” “What do you mean you don’t know?” “I don’t know.”

[@rahbeeuh]

Live footage of a conversation I had recently. 🤦🏽‍♀️

[@MintyVoid]

ohgod i had a whole 'i don't know' war with my mom and older sis(basically 2nd mom lol) for years, to the point where I couldn't say IDK as a response to anything. Caused an extreme emotional/physical withdrawal from my family for me that messed me with my overall emotional regulation reaaaal good. I wasn't able to have a good relationship with the two of them till I went to therapy and started to learn how my brain worked.

[@Ninjaguy1b]

That is an absurdly unfair question. "What do you mean 'how did i forget'? How do you remember things?!?!"

[@daniellereynolds8759]

I’ve had this exact conversation with my mom several times when I was a kid. She accused me of using “I don’t know” as a cop-out answer, and insisted I really DID know and didn’t want to tell her. It was very frustrating. And many of these conversations happened AFTER I was diagnosed. I don’t think she had a good understanding of ADHD when I was growing up and thought symptoms only included inattentiveness and hyperactivity, so she didn’t recognize all the other symptoms I had. I don’t think she meant to cause me so much harm, because she was a really great mom otherwise (and still is). But those kinds of comments were quite damaging to me, and my self-esteem has suffered greatly from it. At 29 I’m still trying to pick up the pieces. It sucks.

[@filthycasualobserver]

This is probably about 75% of the conversations I had with my parents growing up. I would get in trouble for forgetting, then for crying about being yelled at. I've developed a severe-and-getting-worse aversion to anyone being angry, especially men who yell.

[@myconfusedmerriment]

“Re-buying things because I forgot where I put them.” I FEEL SEEN LOL.

[@knmonlinemedia]

Omg this 😭

[@everyporism]

Ive misplaced my glasses and lost them about 8 times its a nightmare to keep buying glasses

[@cassandra5926]

I have purchased at least 8 complete exacto kits in the last decade. I cannot find a single one...

[@jackv4612]

@@everyporism There are websites where you can prescription lenses super cheap (They're just basic plastic frames). I ended up just buying 20 pairs. Now whenever I put them down randomly and can't find them, I just pick up one of the 19 random ones sitting around the house.

[@lumiegames]

Or re-buying things because you’ve forgotten you already bought them… My housemate pulled out some butter from the fridge the other day like “you’ve put this in the door pocket - be careful you’ll forget about it and buy ano-“ (notices the second new butter pack at the front of the fridge) “yup, there we go!” I’m glad to have a housemate that understands me and knows it’s ok to keep reminding me about stuff over and over 🥲

[@zacgarbos1833]

every day i think my ADHD was only mild or moderate and i was just weird on top of it, and then i see other people mention something casually as an ADHD symptom and im just left completely shook

[@AshutoshK-w4e]

Why is this me

[@sayaelnu]

The phrase "It's either NOW or not-now." hit me so hard. I use to procastinate on so many things until suddenly at a random moment I have the biggest urge to do it NOW! RIGHT this moment! If I don't it will take ages or never happen...

[@scarabee333]

I just did that yesterday. I hadn't sorted my paperwork since mid 2019. But I HAD TO do it right then. Took me not even two hours and the normal question would be... well, why didn't I do it sooner...

[@tatututuuu3515]

I have the same moments, I can literally feel my brain being different and know if I don't do it now and the feeling goes away I'll not get it done the next days/weeks

[@bethelwillingham7129]

A friend of mine describes it as there being 2 times; now and never. That is why it is so hard when I have to tell my daughter with ADHD that she can have or do something later. I have learned how to phrase things better for her, but sometimes I forget.

[@krystaking1858]

"we're not flowers were bumblebees, we pollenate, we bring things from one group to another" That is so uplifting and reassuring and I didn't know I needed to hear that. I want that tattooed on my hand or something to remind me that every time I feel like I don't belong, I really just am bringing something different to the table.

[@msaijay1153]

That was a great visual for me.

[@denalraab]

Bees, indeed! Here's an ironic take on bees that seems to apply here (credit to Karl Smallwood): 'So, around 80 years ago a scientists or mathematician of some sort made a rough, mistake filled calculation that claimed bees couldn’t fly. Fast forward almost a century and scientists today are still trying to erase that mistake from the public consciousness with increasingly complex experiments to prove the simple fact that bumblebees can, in fact, fly, and that this doesn’t violate any of our understanding of the laws of physics. The fact that they even had to bother doing this when they could have simply pointed out of the nearest window, with their palm firmly planted on their foreheads, at bees flying around, perhaps says a lot about the gullibility of our species.’

[@gera_eb2588]

Agreed :)

[@Tamaresque]

I've been told by partners / close friends that I have a grasshopper mind, or a butterfly mind. Grasshopper because it jumps from subject to subject - butterfly because it flits from subject to subject. I have a huge variety of interests because of it, though.

[@PapaProne]

I did this in school. My friend group was everywhere lmao

[@argent3648]

I've recently been diagnosed with ADHD myself (I'm 24) after being a gifted kid all through school, and the hardest part of my diagnosis was convincing people that I actually have a diagnosis. The most difficult to convince has 100% been my mother, who has a bad relationship with mental health care and thus has always called me lazy or selfish. To this day, she views my almost life saving medication as "drug seeking" even though I've avoided most things with a possibility of addiction (alcohol, drugs, gambling, etc) because of my known addictive personality. The worst part of adhd isn't just the symptoms, it's the stigma.

[@thismissivemisfit]

I feel you. I'm 34 and finally took the step of seeking a professional diagnosis from a psychiatrist just this week, and she diagnosed me with ADD. I suspected I had this when I was 17, and the person who had a visceral reaction and immediately shot me down was my mom. I'm now waiting on the official scoring that comes with the diagnosis to see what level I'm at, and with that I hope to break this barrier of denial that my parents have since I brought it up 17 years ago.

[@argent3648]

@@thismissivemisfit Hey, good luck with that! I hope you get the support you need, even if it doesn't come from your mom!

[@Farrell0208]

A lot of the boomer generation refuses to believe in mental illness. They just chalk it up to attitude adjustments. They come from the end of war stricken para militaristic society where literally everyone was expected to just do as their told. You don’t question things, whatever an adult tells you, you do it and if you don’t, then you better grab the belt for your dad to straighten you out with. To have a mental disorder back then you needed to be someone who talked slow, or required a straight jacket.

[@hello.kelsey]

That has to be so hard. The quickest way to rile me up is to insinuate that ADHD isn't real and I'm just not trying hard enough. We try so very hard, and it's so hurtful when we're accused of the opposite. I hope your mom comes around, but know that you're not making anything up and your struggles are valid. I hope your new diagnosis provides freedom through being better able to understand yourself and the way you work.

[@Fijidummo]

My gosh bro what on earth that’s literally my situation except I have a problem with the green need to quit but it’s hard cause it stimulates my mind and nicotine too

[@maricchristophe]

I watched your TEDtalk and it made so much sense that I finally decided to look for help, and I was diagnosed. I suspected I had ADHD, but having it confirmed by a specialist was a relief. I didn’t think being diagnosed would make a difference, but it did. It’s as if I had spent my life wearing shoes two sizes smaller than my feet and feeling guilty for it…I just needed bigger shoes

[@Smartycatcorner]

"Does not meet her potential" is actually on a report card from my grade school days. Never diagnosed till adult. I always got lower grades because I needed more time to properly write out answers on tests due to executive disfunction yet I knew the answers. I was looked down on by family as messy and late too often. Most of what you said hits home for me.

[@blindaurora]

EVERY SINGLE ASSESSMENT!!! And being branded as "lazy" is just so awful for a kid. It makes it difficult to try or to ask for help.

[@shannonw7144]

Same here. It's on every one of my report cards that I didn't meet my potential or that I have so much potential if only I would stop daydreaming...

[@kniptheperson7084]

And scientists have proved that daydreaming is actually good and if you daydream a lot that’s a sign of intelligence... I think adhd is usually perceived as just not being able to focus but there’s so much more to it than that people don’t realize :(

[@funnybunnnies]

That's with me with a lot of assignments. Also, I struggled too... when I got into university, I also struggled. But when I pulled my tendon in my wrist and it's been an issue ever since has lead me to get extra time and access to writing everything more time lead me to realize how much it helped. My marks drastically increased and I feel like if the we were given the right tools and ADHD /other stuff wasn't as stigmatized as much would lead to a better generation for people with them. I was diagnosed at 7 but since my parents were scared my school would harm my education (cause they did even without knowing I had ADHD and force me into programs that wasn't the right fit for me).... it's lead to like constant struggles. Also the psycatrist at the time said it wasn't that bad but 😭😭 ☠💀 it was REALLY BAD but because I was a girl and my ADD wasn't as "bad" or the same as the guys.... well 😒😒😒😒

[@malabika6226]

@@funnybunnnies also i am diagnosed professionally by a doctor but my parents don't let me take meds ... And my mother beleives that there is no such thing called adhd .... Also before online study ( or before covid 19) i was a student who was getting a score of 90% in my academics but I knew I can do lot better if only I studied regularly

[@BelindaMuller]

The biggest for me was constantly being told "Just clean your room!", but feeling utterly overwhelmed because I didn't know how. Also leaving school assignments until 3am the day they were due. It was excruciating for me to feel the weight of an assignment I knew I should be working on but just... couldn't, followed by 3am panic. It wasn't seen as an issue as I still got straight A+ results.

[@lexvt3551]

This is literally me to a T 😅

[@5Seed]

I have this with my whole house now as an adult. I admitted to my Aunt that I think I'm a good mum but I'm a terrible adult. Constantly overwhelmed

[@BelindaMuller]

@@5Seed I completely relate! Now that my son's 12 (also has ADHD) we body double and complete tasks together, or talking to someone on the phone while I tidy up without even noticing is just as effective.

[@GygyMy]

Oh and if I also have ADHD.... I recognize having done what you describe her when younger (today I belong to the 'grown ups' ugh) OR I would get rid of the school assignments right away (like... during the time between two classes: the 5 last minutes of current course and the 5 I should have used to walk to the other room.. but then rushed and ran into the other class just when the door was getting closed lol... (when possible) or during the breaks (since anyway i wans't part of any "group" playing so....

[@crayolaclouds2696]

I've been on the Dean's List like 6 out of 8 terms in college but noone saw the tears, stress and panicking to complete an assignment within an hour of it being due because I couldn't make myself do the work earlier. I love the As and pretty letters telling me I'm doing great, but I hate everything I go through to get to that point.

[@sulatlalaki]

"Getting distracted is NOT a moral defect." My FAVORITE thing you've said thus far!

[@trejodaniel]

I found your videos about a week ago, and can’t stop crying. Everything you describe feels exactly like my life. I am now 44 and I don’t even know where to start to find a “Fix” for my brain.

[@werwurm]

I am in my 40s, and I just got diagnosed with ADHD and Dyslexia. Since then I reached out to my employer for potential accommodations, and I am starting therapy. I will also reach out to my physician for potential medication. I am at the beginning of this new journey myself. So there is not much else I can say. Talk to your physician and ask for a referral for a neuropsychological assessment because you suspect you have ADHD. There won't be a "fix". But there is help.

[@cocops8]

I was twice exceptional, that’s why it took so long to get a diagnosis. I was also over emotional, indecisive, forgetful, messy and easily bored. I didn’t even realize how much of that was connected to my ADHD until recently. I would get in trouble for a lot of it too without knowing why it was all so hard to do “right”. And in terms of time management I have like…so many check lists for this week. Also, everything happened either “the other day” or “when I was about 5” regardless of when it actually happened.

[@laurensova05]

This is 100% what I experienced too! Just got diagnosed at 28.

[@cocops8]

@@laurensova05 Congrats on your diagnosis! It certainly explained a lot for me.

[@ItsAllOverXx64]

Haha “the other day” is a permanent part of my vocabulary and it’s never the other day 😂

[@alexlail7481]

@@cocops8 Amen to that!

[@arushiahmed6555]

i think i might be twice exceptional too and every time i bring up adhd with my mom she says she'll consider it but i dont think she cares, she doesnt realze that it could affect my furture does she

[@furiousdestroyah9999]

POV: You're an adult that has never been tested for ADHD and can strongly relate to 80%+ of these

[@thedoctordb5765]

I feel like these are specific yet broad points. Do we know if a "normal" adult should relate to a decent amount of these? Idk how this channel even showed up on my recommended list but curiosity had me click it lol. Maybe KZbin is trying to diagnose me.

[@AnnaReed42]

If you're relating to that much of it, I'd recommend getting tested! ADHD frequently goes undiagnosed and then people go on thinking they're just lazy or not trying hard enough, and that everyone struggles with these same things... when in reality their brains just work differently than neurotypical brains.

[@DoDurgaaTM]

@@thedoctordb5765 yeah me too! i was watching random videos on instagram and then videos about adhd started to pop out and then i realize most of the things fits me. right now i am thinking to going to see s psychiatrist to be sure i have adhd.

[@simmersabi]

@@AnnaReed42 im currently working to get tested because of doing research and discovering that what im going through is not "normal" and i relate to almost everything in the video. my husband and i believe i have misdiagnosis of anxiety and depression thats actually ADHD

[@AnnaReed42]

@@simmersabi Nice! Yeah anxiety and depression are often comorbid with ADHD, but the symptoms can look the same so I can see how it could be a misdiagnosis.

[@DaleESkywalker]

I was always in my own little world, and didn't fit in anywhere.

[@LastZoneTrooper]

This hits home and is still viable today. Only people i really "fit in" with are other people with ADHD and/or Aspergers.

[@GoADHDGo]

And there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s not that YOU don’t fit in, it’s that others don’t fit in to your world.

[@RenaissanceGirl]

Same! But for me, I didn't even notice. I wasn't paying attention to it. Go figure, I guess. 😅

[@0815Tuber1604]

Are you me?

[@FromG2eminor]

Being a music major with ADD was...fun. Being in a quiet small room to practice all alone....nightmare. Im now a piano teacher and I have empathy fory ADD students. I give them strategies that work for our crazy brains. 😊

[@gwenvanderlaak5894]

Another ADD pianist🎉 I think I practiced 80% of the time by heart because getting the music sheets out of my bag was "too much effort" for some reason I still don't understand. And I still do this a lot😅

[@franfunayama]

The hyperfocus when practising for hours on end helped a lot for music performance assessments or exams 😅

[@elinek5470]

I never practiced until the day before my lessons, and it always turned out good😅 i have a very good feeling and needed some help from my teacher to make me stay focused on the music sheets. And then he always told me that i could play that part very nicely. Doesnt really help with the idea that i had to practice a lot more😅 but maybe it was alright like that.

[@Jazz-nm1kf]

Hey! Adhd guitarist that wants to learn piano here; you mind sharing some of those strategies, recommendations, or good starting points? I've tried self teaching from a book, and learning from online lessons and apps and I don't really find it stimulating enough to ever stick with long term..

[@qqOKOKqq]

​@@Jazz-nm1kf how long did it take you to learn guitar?

[@cheryldueck318]

So, who else was “listening” to this while reading the comments, because you wanted to see people’s reactions to what Jessica was saying, but then realized you missed half (or more) of what she said and had to rewatch it? 😜

[@rsjh7706]

Is that a sign. I wasn’t paying attention 😅

[@Ummer]

Just at me next time

[@Shiroar]

Always.

[@avieebvlogs8018]

Yes 😭

[@HeySojo]

Busted!

[@marie27023]

I was a very talkative, energetic and happy child. But as I grew up, I felt more and more out of step with people. I was always at the top of the class so I wasn't diagnosed until a year ago. I knew something was strange because I have a lot of anger inside me, I have very strong emotions and I can never feel rested. Several teachers have criticized me for looking out the window, saying I was disrespectful. I also have problems with authority. I have anxiety about the future because I feel so different from people sometimes.

[@High_Gain_Pity_Party]

Totally relateable (basically my life) but I'm not diagnosed but thinking it might totally be a possibility now. Any other things that made you get checked for adhd?

[@markg445]

Still waiting on my diagnosis but it's very clearly ADHD, starting to realise how much I despise working at a desk 8 hours a day. It's killing me.

[@marie27023]

@@High_Gain_Pity_Party It's nice to see that there are other people who feel this way too! I would say that I also struggle with routine and having to sit still during the day. I also have a hard time waiting my turn in lines.

[@LisaSmith-sw8eu]

You are not alone ❤

[@glennshale7663]

We would have had a great social circle! My teachers would comment “Glenn would do much better if he would stay out of his social circles” . I was constantly looking out the windows wanting to play outside! I still want to … ❤

[@theminimecha5920]

"Getting distracted is not a moral defect." I almost started crying. Thank you I've had an abusive adoptive family constantly tell me that I was a bad kid and lazy. It's taken me years to understand that I'm not bad, just wired differently. Could I have permission to use that quote in a tattoo?

[@cadekachelmeier7251]

Having an abusive adoptive family sounds horrible and I'm glad you got through it. It surprises me a bit, since that's not the picture I have in my head for families that adopt. Do you mind me asking if it was a relative taking you in or if it was through an adoption agency?

[@mariak8480]

I feel you. Please know that you are not alone and also some biological parents treat their kids like this. I know this because mine did :)

[@littlebigdance]

same.

[@GBpoketto]

hey, i'm ALSO adopted by an abusive family, more specifically an abusive mother. when i was 12, i told my mom i thought i had adhd, and she snapped at me that i was FINE and nothing was wrong with me. i was lazy and not trying as hard as i should have, etc.

[@GBpoketto]

@@cadekachelmeier7251 they didn't reply yet, but i was adopted by an abusive mother and it was through the foster care system. trust me, you would think that anyone who adopts is doing it because they are prepared to love and care for the child(ren) they're adopting, but that just isn't true.

[@pauldilley8974]

The last one hits home most for me. When you're young, being disorganized or messy seems amusing. As an adult, it just begins to hurt more and more. Losing things, forgetting to pay bills, not being able to focus on work, etc.

[@victoriavvc]

“We’re not flowers, we’re bumblebees.” I started crying..... I was called a social butterfly as a kid, but I never felt like that quite fit me... A bumblebee makes so much more sense.

[@scofieldvictoria]

I was a bumblebee too. Thankfully, I found my hive

[@jessycastoepker]

This was such a good analogy. I relate to it in every way.

[@estherbliek4734]

I came here for this comment :) and just Googled it to be sure, but butterflies are pollinators as well 🦋🐝. Loved the analogy!

[@victoriavvc]

@@estherbliek4734 Yes but bees are flower-loyal, which means they can have favorite flowers and that's why it hit me so hard

[@heartears]

"You're so smart but you're too careless." My college professor on me getting low grades when I grasp math concepts really well but make mistakes like forgetting the "-" sign on the next part of the solution and continuing on to compute as if it was positive. I have a great job now. I still make mistakes in boring repetitive tasks (we created safeguards on it so i can identify and correct before it becomes a problem) but my boss gives me projects to work on to get hyperfocused on.

[@imaspecialgirllalala]

“you’re always getting 100s on your tests so you clearly KNOW the work, how are you STILL failing my class?? I know you know how to do the work?!” My high school math teacher lecturing me for being able to show my knowledge on test days but failing in class because I never wanted to do my homework

[@slayerbot1394]

My 10yr old daughter does the same thing. Ive been concerned with how she'll do in the future because of it. Your comment has given me more hope. Thank you

[@AFGATAL]

One day I show up to university exam, I don't have pen and asked around they neighbours didn't have so I found small tiny pencil pen head on floor and starting writing my exam, half way through the exam the professor came by and was looking in shock at me and give me pencil.

[@kendranieuwendorp5511]

The problem is that they were expecting perfection from an imperfect person. That's always been the issue for me with school

[@Soulslayer612]

@@imaspecialgirllalala Are you me?

[@MsHethre]

"It's not cute anymore" - LITERALLY what I said to my therapist, and that's what started the conversation to get a referral to a psychologist to get my diagnosis. 💗

[@shanatries9890]

Do you ever find that you forget that it's not cute?

[@TheKelleyBunch]

I found out that I have adhd at 49 years old. Only because of my child having adhd. Her troubles started in school in 1st grade. At least we are able to get her diagnosed at an early age. A lot of us went our entire lives not knowing. I tell my daughter that she helped me understand myself better, even if I am still struggling to understand us both.

[@settembrini3301]

So relatable! I still remember my teacher in 4th grade writing: "how can someone so smart be that lazy?" on my report and my mother writing "thats what I wonder too" beneath it. Thats probably when my anxiety about school really started. Always called messy, lazy, unmotivated etc. I hope that channels like yours spread more awareness so that kids are getting diagnosed instead of constantly shamed, bullied and criticized.

[@kittyandrews27]

Ohhhh yea got so many report cards like that!!!

[@KellyLenior]

Oofff 💔💔..

[@belindarocky961]

Oh goodness. That person should not be a teacher! Effort is not measurable by observation. Sheesh.

[@captainspirou]

I get furious thinking that the reaction people have to bad grades is punishment instead of aid.

[@candycain1001]

Owie.😣

[@moushka2692]

OMG! This is me! I’m 72 years old and never understood what was wrong with me, but you’ve described nearly every symptom of my whole life. I bought into the whole “moral failing” trope, hated myself for so long…never figured out it could just be how my mind functioned. I was one of those “gifted” kids in a gifted program who couldn’t get organized, was messy, was called irresponsible, always had my nose in a book, etc. I became a good actress, faking extroversion and affability when I really wanted to run away. Anxiety and depression defined most of my life. Not a fun way to live.

[@crickettmoon7082]

I’m sorry that you lived with this for so long without knowing why. I’m 53 and it’s impossible to explain to anyone! Everyone thinks it’s temporary and that you “ Can’t be ADD” after adolescence!! Everyone thinks I’ve got Alzheimer’s or Dementia🤣 I just tell them that if so, I was born with it!!! I try to recognize the positive aspects, I’m fun, creative and unpredictable. ☮️❤️🦋

[@PROPAROXITONO]

and you are lucky in being an actress. I'm a lawyer, an office, bureaucratic job... I know that are many things in the acting job that are not "dynamic", things that demand focus when you're alone... but being a lawyer, that is 99,5% of the job. I'm trying to change profession but it's hard...

[@gregoryandsusanedwards2020]

Hugs.... I'm 66 and I get this.

[@imaginecynical]

i relate to this too much, but im only 18

[@marcidorman]

Ditto! I’m a 45-year old woman with ADHD (diagnosed as adult) and very high functioning externally but struggling internally-which got worse as I got older and my stressors became greater. It became harder for me to function as well, especially after I got married, had kids, and no longer was responsible for only my. I didn’t realize how much I had relied on external, visual results and the praise of others until most of my work (raising kids) doesn’t have a lot of either. I realized then how little I support myself and how many negative thoughts I had (like messy, disorganized, forgetful, lazy, etc). Even worse, when I watched my daughters grow up and start struggling with the exact same things-and labeling themselves the same way. Broke my heart. Now I’m super motivated to change both for myself and for them.

[@maddy.8915]

One of my history teachers in high school told me he was disappointed in me at the end of the year because "I could have done so much better if I had just tried". I think about that a lot. Watching your videos makes me feel less alone but also lonely at the same time. I hope anyone reading this knows I understand you, and I am proud of you.

[@davefleisch]

Maddy, I’m sorry that you experienced this

[@maddy.8915]

@@davefleisch That means a lot to me, David, thank you sm.

[@BlackShardStudio]

"If you had just tried" is one of those phrases that still hurts. When you really, genuinely care, and you put your everything into something and its not good enough, and people treat you like you're letting them down for not having done more... it leaves a mark.

[@bfcmik]

My school reports were full of these comments every term. I used to want to reply that they should try to make things interesting or teach better!

[@onetwothree7627]

I didn't notice until I grew up, but I tried SO HARD in school. So hard. And I never got to where I wanted to be. I was always behind. Even though I probably spent more time on my studies than 90% of my classmates. And everyone (including me) always said, "you did so well without studying, imagine how well you could have done if you'd worked harder"

[@drift7rs]

7:17 i’m not diagnosed, but i’ve been crying the whole video and that just made me sob

[@BradK4444]

I'm not ADHD, but my wife and both of our kids are. I'm hearing myself in a lot of the "bad guys" in these stories. Not just what I used to say, but some stuff I still say (the wife and I still fight over how bad she is at filling up the gas tank) I'm going to keep working on being understanding. I'm really glad I found this channel because it is helping me understand my family in a way they have difficulty describing themselves.

[@hotcoffeewarmpages]

Good for you for wanting to be understanding and working on it. I wish my parents had had the same curiosity about my ADHD, and I’m sure it will go so much further than you know in nurturing your relationships with your family.

[@jamesdavis-dn6hq]

I sincerely wish more people cared enough to watch a video with the intent of understanding a family member with ADHD. As someone with ADHD who cares about the impact I have on people around me, I am used to being seen as an “inconvenience” to others, when I’m actually putting more energy into adapting to them than I am into addressing my own needs. I see this video, and I wish my family would hear how much it hurts to pile shame on top of a problem, and how counterproductive it is. But sending this video to someone would not have the same impact as someone watching this because they want to more fully comprehend a loved one. Seeking to understand is a sign that you are on the right track. It is not wholly sufficient in and of itself, but a good step toward a a richer understanding of your own family. Good on you, and best of luck.

[@jsp1nk3]

It's ok. Several people in my family don't get it and criticize unintentionally. I've learned to forgive them because they just don't get it. Someday they will. But until then, the one thing I can control is my reaction, my treatment, and my behavior--well, not always my behavior so much...but at least my response once my emotional regulation *does* come back and I can rectify the situation. The one thing I'll say is SHOW & TELL your loved ones that you're trying to learn & understand. It means SOOO much to us that you're trying because, hoenstly, we've been trying to show our neurotypical loved ones how much we're trying for years and it's usually met with criticism. So if you show that you're trying, that means the world to us, because we're more used to being judged and shamed for something that is extremely difficut to control despite the extreme desire to do so. Again, major kudos to you for giving it effort!

[@captainmaim]

It's not easy for you either. *hugs* for the NT who's trying to help.

[@nicksheerin6520]

With the gas tank, I hot a pack of sticky notes in my car. If I notice im lower than half I put a sticky note on the wheel and on my phone until I schedule in getting gas. When I put it in the schedule I take the sticky note off my phone

[@speckledhen295]

I was a very high achieving student who ended up studying at Oxford University, and up until then was really good at masking my ADHD symptoms, but when I was having difficulty concentrating, it just baffled my teachers and parents, who didn’t think I fitted the ADHD diagnosis because of the stereotypes and their preconceptions. If I said I was having trouble concentrating, I’d always wind up having eye tests, hearing tests, my family looking at my diet and making sure I was getting the right nutrients… but it was only as an adult that I realised how much it made sense that I had ADHD. I had no problems with complex equations, but could never remember to bring anything into school unless I wrote it down, could easily forget my homework, and sometimes tried so hard to sit still and look attentive that I couldn’t concentrate on the actual subject matter.

[@perfectstormofdreams2808]

If you want to go back, get some CBT therapy and meds and do it. This really resonates with me : "looking attentive" to the detriment of being able to concentrate was so very, very difficult. I tried but wasn't good at it, and looking back it was probably why i had so many teachers from K-12 to college that were just spiteful towards me because it bruised their ego to have someone make good grades in their classes while looking like they were counting ceiling tiles. One highscool teacher said she "had at least one ditzy student like me" every year.

[@karenannmcmillan2206]

@@perfectstormofdreams2808 you had me laughing because I actually did count ceiling tiles nearly every day of every year of school from Kindergarten through college. And then in professional career / business classes. For the life of me could not pay attention when the teachers were b o r i n g and repeated things or just because the texture of the ceiling tiles were more interesting on that given day. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@b.a.d.andproud3468]

🎯

[@WaywardPython]

I couldn’t handle chemistry at school, partly because there was a diagram of the periodic table on the wall, and the names of the internet gases (argon, neon, etc) sounded like superhero names. So I would make up stories about them in my head instead of concentrating on the subject.

[@ampleparkingTV]

My ADHD came out while studying at Oxford too.. for me, must’ve been the environment really making it tricky to mask or ignore it.

[@MsPseudonymous]

I was labeled a “brat” as a kid. My friends parents rarely liked me. I “tried really hard” my entire life. I’m in my 50’s now, I was diagnosed at 36 years old- so much made sense! I had been using ‘CBT’ most of my life without knowing that’s one of the things I used to manage my ADHD.

[@dogwish115]

We had a special class in my high school back in the early 90s for "troubled gifted students." Looking back I wonder how many of us were just undiagnosed and untreated?

[@KnuckleHeadGarage27]

They still had it cuz I was in it till I finished school in 2015

[@fennellpreddy11]

It was called Learning Lab in are school in the early 2000s

[@GlobalVisa-pf9pt]

I suffered the borderline disorder for over 23 years. With so much anxiety Not until I came across psilocybin mushrooms treatmentPsilocybin treatment actually saved my life honestly. 6 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms

[@Why444x.]

Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.

[@mehdichikh7378]

Hey mates! Can you help with the source? I suffer severe anxiety, panic and depression and I usually take prescription medicine, but they don't always help. Where can I find those psilocybin mushrooms? I'm really interested in treating my mental health without Rxs. I live in Australia don't know much about these. I'm so glad they helped you. I can't wait to get them too. Really need a reliable source 🙏

[@olegkroitory304]

He's hamidshade43

[@mehdichikh7378]

Where do I reach this dude? If possible can I find him on insta?

[@olegkroitory304]

Yes, he is hamidshade43

[@craiglore1821]

I'm 68, with a really late-in-life diagnosis of ADHD. I had never heard the term "Twice Exceptional" before, but that was me. I was always in upper levels classes but always--"not living up to his potential." In college, I went to my high school and requested my IQ scores. I figured that a low score would justify why I did so poor-to-average in school and life. And I could live with that knowledge--I thought--it's simple, I'm just not very intelligent--it's not my fault. But, good news/bad news: my IQ was exceptionally high. So, then, it was back to: It IS your fault. Because, back then, ADHD hadn't been "discovered" yet. So here I am, these many years later, still dealing with the same things. Except that now I know I have ADHD and the knowing is better than the not knowing, for sure.

[@optimisticgambler3616]

Almost 50 and just realising this over the last few years. Don't know if it's worth getting diagnosed now but feels better knowing there's at least an explanation for my seemingly irrational behaviour at times.

[@nysigal]

I'm 58, not diagnosed. When I was a kid, late 60s/early 70s, teachers told my parents that I 'daydreamed'. Just the last 2 or 3 years I realized that I probably have ADHD. What type of doctor would I need? Can anything really be done for it?

[@athenasgift13]

One of my partner's friends works diagnosing children with potential learning disabilities (I really hate that phrase, I wish there was something else I could use instead) and she pointed out to me that I have a lot of the ADHD traits at a games night a few days ago. I'm nearly 30 and a teacher, but have no idea how to get assessed so any ideas would be amazing

[@stephanguitar9778]

Sounds like me. Did two IQ tests back in the 1970s and was surprised how well I did and I was surprised that kids that did not do so well got much better results in school. It was the focus and attention thing of course, something that I have never had, everything is chaotic when trying to concentrate. We also had to deal with a lot of violence which never helped.

[@stephanguitar9778]

@@nysigal In the UK the doctors dont give a toss. Anyone over 50 is ignored unless they have an obvious physical problem. I wish I knew but too late in life to get any benefit. Same with the insomnia I have had for 60 years.

[@lovellmer]

I do not have ADHD, but I LOVE your channel and your content. It's really well done. Just this weekend, I recommended your channel to a niece, and I have watched your videos trying to help my own (just grown up) kiddos with their own struggles when their dad and I didn't feel like our school system/mental health system was quite giving us the type of support the kiddos needed. I really feel inspired that there are resources for adults to get what they need to live life feeling good and productive and building a life.

[@Conner6742]

I remember telling my brother when we were in high school that I noticed "I don't have a circle of friends, I have a friend from each circle" Didn't know others could relate

[@chfgn]

Oh my god this was the one thing in the video that I didn’t think applied to me, but when you phrase it like that it’s exactly how I’ve always been.

[@marlaadamson1633]

"A friend from each circle." Me too. My son, doubly so.

[@kimmiecheeks10]

Yes I was the same way in high-school

[@Hunzyyyy]

THIS!!! YESSSS! I always wanted to have a group of friends, but that has never been the case! I have tons of friends that ate scattered everywhere from different groups!

[@aglae1912]

Same !! I'd never have thought it was because of ADHD ! I feel like a whole new version of my life has been offered to me, and in this one I am not "too much to keep around". What a change !

[@missSDW]

“Literally forgetting everything that wasn’t attached to me as a kid” is one of the worst things about it.

[@leviboswell9510]

Yes! In adulthood too! But ‘a place for everything, and everything in its place’ + trackers has helped me so much

[@amosmo5es]

Still dealing with this..I lost 2 phones this month, ear buds, chargers, wallet, etc etc

[@jacquiemac2179]

I’m better (not good, just better) at keeping track of things now, as an older adult, just by forming habits (over decades) about where I put things. As a kid I must have lost at least ten sweaters a school year. We didn’t have much money so, a new sweater was a big deal. Several times I lost a shoe during recess. ONE shoe!

[@danielamaus]

That's why my purse and my keys are literally chained to my belt.

[@jacobcarter5923]

It's worse as an adult

[@22angd]

I never thought about the fact that I had friends in lots of groups and could get along with pretty much anyone, but still felt lonely and “not fitting” at times could be part of ADHD! Wow 🤯

[@fatherswealth]

THAT PART!

[@gebaskaras]

is there any science that support this statement? Bcs I feel this too

[@Kallmerozay]

Bruh I think finding this channel is gonna save my life 😭

[@lallydoo24]

I felt this so much. I am good at putting a face on and talking to lots of different people but get so frustrated that other people don't connect with friendships as much as I would like. I used to think it was because I was unlikeable. Now I just joke.the people I make friends with are just emotionally stunted. I still struggle with the having friends but still feeling alone.

[@qx1492]

Literally, I've got bullied and have been struggling with loneliness since kindergarten until around 10th grade. In about 10 years or total about it. My first ever diagnosis by a psychologist was that "Everything seems normal except your loneliness is in really high state" and I was like "Tell me something new". But now when I'm in my 18's, I can get along with a lot of people and are in different groups, but still feel alone. Like being in a middle of dnd game, but losing focus, because I wasn't ingaged. (OOP Jumping topics ) xD

[@laylammorais]

8:55 I relate to this so much. I was called "random" in high school because I kept jumping back and forth in different topics and I felt so misunderstood back then. Every time I tried to explain how I felt or meant, the teasing from my "friends" became even worse. Now at 25, I'm finally getting tested for ADHD and my mom says she doesn't believe I have it due to her idea of ADHD in children (because she's an elementary teacher). I've been trying to explain to her why I need this certain medication because she refuses to even search about symptoms in women. I've been also told by a psychiatrist that I have bipolar - but it keeps me wondering if it's just a misdiagnosis for my ADHD or if I potentially have that also - I'm still getting tests done with my psychologist so it might take a while. Nevertheless, I'm glad to have found this community to read more about it and how others struggle with the same thing that I do!

[@Thatboybewhat]

I’m only recognizing things as an adult that I wish I’d known as a kid: I was “gifted” but similarly always disorganized like the person in the video, I always lose things, and that last part with the compounding… that hit home. Thankfully though I’m finally in a space where I can financially afford therapy so if I can stop procrastinating (also one of the most clear signs of my adhd lol) these sign-up documents I can finally get on the road to professional progress.

[@ulrikschackmeyer848]

What did you say you did to get rid of your procrastinations? Sounds fab. MUST HEAR! Please!

[@houstonsheltonbees814]

Principal, teacher,bus driver all even the preacher gave me a spanking and they all said he is defiant. Undiagnosed then and undiagnosed now.

[@marquisegutierrez3720]

I relate so hard 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@kwyj]

i always hated being called, 'gifted,' so, 'twice-exceptional,' feels even worse but i was definitely in the gifted track, which means i am 'that term i don't like,' and i think it masked the way folks thought about the ways i was adapting to obstacles. "Smart, clumsy and disorganized," could be the title of my memoir.

[@aliciaflinchum6511]

@@kwyj So much ditto.

[@michaelh3992]

Mine: In high school and college I'd always procrastinate on completion of larger writing products, and I'd always do ok usually above average to pretty well. That works for high school and undergrad, but not further higher ed or professional level projects. I later realized I turned boring projects in to "exciting" projects by waiting until the last minute to create a level of urgency and negative consequences to keep my attention on the project. Attempts at perfection in written work making projects take 3x longer than they ought...it's kind of a hyperfocus problem.

[@asdfgh123456978]

YES I can 100% relate to this. I used to write my essays the DAY they were due lol. I'd write it during class, and then during lunch break and then rush to print it for my teachers. But then this doesn't really work in university anymore because last-minute is not enough. The process then becomes agonising. Maybe it's why I prefer studying for MC questions because at least I know where to start, and there's a 'deadline'. Writing? not really.

[@cmiller584]

This is me 100%

[@plaidraven6068]

Yes!!! This is 100% me & it’s probably my worst emotional struggle because I’m also a perfectionist when it comes to work/school. I learned in college I had to try to base my class load around having only one writing-heavy class per term, and sometimes that meant meeting with the ed councilors to find out which professors were better for me to choose. Going back to school during the COVID shutdowns I wasn’t as mindful of this and put myself into a full blown overwhelm cycle because I didn’t have any real social stimulation breaks. I hyper focused in shutdown mode.

[@asdfgh123456978]

@@plaidraven6068 I can completely relate to this! I really enjoy writing essays but also find them so overwhelming and time consuming

[@lallydoo24]

the beat the deadline was a game I used to play throughout my education. made it more fun to know I had to beat the clock.

[@hoperalphs7552]

Finding out that I was never lazy or messy and I actually just have ADHD felt almost traumatic. Like, I’ve been struggling for 20 years, and instead of listening to me and helping me I just got called lazy. It’s hard not to be mad.

[@LittleHobbit13]

I know when I was growing up, ADHD was still only something little boys had, so I try to keep that in mind when I get mad about this. But on the flip side, how many adults did I have in my life who watched me struggled in almost every aspect of my life and instead of saying "something is off here" decided the "nah, that's her fault" shaming was more appropriate than just figuring out how to support me? As you said, it's hard not to be mad.

[@LydiaFortner]

Same...

[@jazzopera]

When I was a kid ADHD was diagnosed as "punishment deficiency."

[@rhysconnel8755]

You're not alone

[@Beveyboygames]

@@LittleHobbit13 dealing with that now lol, finally got my mom to take me to the doctor, but the only reason she's doing it is to prove me wrong and that I don't have it. (I literally have every single symptom of adhd and has had every single symptom since long before I was 12)

[@Hoffa1337]

I wish this channel was a thing 18 years ago when I got diagnosed. I've had a very long and lonely journey on my own.

[@soryaaza7362]

For me it's my obsessiveness. The only thing that made me good in school was my obsessiveness with learning history, Spanish, biology, etc. I always got hyper fixated in a lot of cartoons, too, so that made me a social outcast. My brother was diagnosed when he was 12, but since I had good grades my parents dismissed everything

[@random_programmer]

I feel you. It's always the seemingly stupid things you fixate on too. Some obscure fact that is never going to be on any test, or that silver ware holder that doesn't actually keep the silver ware separated (Me last night finally snapping at my silverware container).

[@Y0KAl]

for me its how much i spaced out. i never thought it was a sign of anything, always thought i was just a daydreamer/thoughtful person but it would often interfere with my ability to pay attention to conversations and important things. someone would tell me something very heartfelt or vulnerable and id be busy thinking about the time me and my brother were really into beyblades or something.

[@Trintron46]

How have you managed this since you realized it was due to adhd? My boyfriend constantly zones out while I'm opening up and I don't want to get upset with him, but it does take effort to remind myself that he isn't doing it intentionally.

[@zacnorris1987]

This hits so much at home xD

[@Okayk-r3ny]

@@Trintron46 I have adhd and something that I do when I zone out of a conversation is apologize and ask them to say it again (especially with my partner/close friends since they are more understanding) it wasn’t easy for me to do at first because it felt rude. But I found I feel awful when I pretend I am fully present.

[@cassandra5926]

My husband is also diagnosed and he still takes it personally when he's been speaking for a few minutes and i have no idea what he's been saying

[@Y0KAl]

​@@Trintron46 I got diagnosed very recently so I dont have much experience with that yet, but I did grow up with a brother who also had adhd. If the topic is really important to you and you really need his attention, don't be afraid to let him know that you have something important on your mind that you want to share. adding that preface makes a difference because then we are prepared. If he's playing video games or something, make him pause it and sit down with you. there should be no outside distractions. as for myself.. i try to put down my phone and look at them. It also helps when I get to engage with the conversation. The longer someone talks uninterrupted, the harder it is for me to pay attention.

[@fidebagwell5697]

The more content I see about ADHD, the more I'm convinced that I might have it, because I have experienced (and still do) a lot of these things. Especially the executive dysfunction and hyper focusing. I can be in the middle of doing something when someone asks me to do something else, and having to shift gears is difficult and irritating.

[@aliciaaltom6652]

Same

[@TheMax13542]

I think alot of this is kinda subjective. Like most people would get bored of say watching golf on tv. Or most people can hyper focus on a task their into, go watch skilled construction workers who gets into a flow. I don't think any of that is symptoms of an illness.

[@A-sketchbook-tiger-lilly]

@@TheMax13542 Not really. Yes, it's true that these aren't always symptoms of an illness, but that's why there is a minimum of symptoms you need to have to be diagnosed. It's the combination of these that are present on a regular basis that makes it ADHD.

[@Lemonyy_1997]

Samee, I'm gonna talk to my dad about it

[@mithrane]

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for making such a thoughtful, honest, real, and welcoming channel on this topic. I'm 40 years old. I've struggled with a WIDE variety of issues throughout my entire life which have lead to me losing jobs, losing friends, and even losing life-partners along the way. I've never felt "understood", and had resigned to just being a "difficult" person... a failure, as this video mentioned. I found this channel yesterday, and can't stop watching it. So much of what you've described rings true to me and my experiences. It has both bolstered my own self worth and given me cause to seek professional diagnosis to determine what, if anything, might be an underlying cause of my own struggles. Please keep being as genuine, kind, and helpful as your videos show you to be. Thank you

[@samanthasnyder2140]

"Getting distracted is NOT a moral defect." God, if I had been told this when I was hating myself in high school. You're doing great work!

[@arraikcruor6407]

I am overwhelmed. I was told by people that I am lazy or just not good enough to complete engineering when in fact it was ADHD holding me back. How many people around the world will carry the shame to their graves not knowing it was never their fault and that they have ADHD.

[@cupcakeguy22]

💯

[@aishwaryarao1755]

🥺

[@SIC647]

Reading in a corner was 100% me too. Avoiding conversation, or boredom, or confusion by creating my own little bubble

[@MarsellaFyngold]

SAME and now it's my phone.

[@mynameisuju]

I did this in toilets.

[@Zivilin]

Same. Less boredom for me though and more because i wanted to find a hideaway from school bullies too. I usually sat quietly in the back of the school library reading books.

[@anniebale4343]

God, the bee analogy for the bouncing from group to group and never quite feeling like you fit in hit way too hard, to the point where I had to force myself to pause and pace around a bit to just calm down. And the waiting until you're about to burst before running for the bathroom! I never would've thought it had anything to do with my ADHD? But my goodness, that makes so much sense?!

[@briarmunro]

Both of these things I see in my 6 year old who has not been diagnosed but I have a strong feeling he has ADHD. I'm learning a lot through these videos and comments such as yours. Thank you

[@dardar9314]

they are adhd parts because look if your brain is not telling you to stay at one place it's changing just like aur thoughts are and also this is brain that informs you what to do now, bathroom has to do something with adhd

[@b.a.d.andproud3468]

@Briar Munro if social stigma hasn't put you off exploring any way to help your son, you are really strong and I salute you 👑

[@briarmunro]

@@b.a.d.andproud3468 thank you. That is very sweet of you to say.

[@unnotabelle]

A full year late to this video, but the stories here hit so hard that I finally decided to get tested and I officially got diagnosed a couple weeks ago! The diagnosis has honestly put so much of my life into perspective - and really strengthened my relationship with my parents now that we're finally on the same page about what's going on in my head 21 years later.

[@Kalaydascope]

“We’re not flowers, we’re bumblebees.” Woof. This whole video hits me right in the trauma.

[@shalow2]

That is so me, a social bumblebee :)

[@fishing_with_chaz]

could not agree more very social bumble bees buzz buzz oh look something new great now i have 2 dozen new hobbies face palm

[@mynickname4884]

Exactly Stacy! I'm great at bringing people together and am seen as a social butterfly but it is not an accurate characterization. When I get home, I'm exhausted.

[@PhoenixArtz000]

i like bumblebees :D they so fluffy :D

[@rainbowstarks]

Same

[@StargazerMay]

I started crying halfway through the video. I'm not diagnosed (and would never want to presume anything by self-diagnosing), but every single point hit home so hard. The idea that maybe, just maybe my failures (exacerbated by the 'gifted kid' lifelong pressure) are not due to not being good enough but have a subjective reason is immensely validating.

[@Kiwi-np3sy]

Same

[@resurrectiongrace]

Amen 🙏🏽 100%

[@benjaminandersen1097]

my thoughts exactly💚

[@Abhijith4593]

Same ...

[@leaslifestyle7721]

same

[@ADIYHD]

I’m 52 and just now realizing that I am positive I have ADHD. My entire life I have struggled to fit in. I always felt so different. Learning that ADHD doesn’t ONLY mean Attention Deficit and Hyper Activity opened so many doors in my head! This video also helped by showing other people’s struggles that I can relate to.

[@temporaryuniverse6559]

I was the weird, smart kid with emotion regulation issues. Overexcitable, loud, bad at boundaries, easily frustrated. I was constantly doodling in class and not paying attention, always doing homework last minute, but it got overlooked because I always managed to do well on my work.

[@leahtomlinson6665]

Absolute definition of my high school experience

[@godw1ll99]

yea pretty accurate.

[@SockBot]

"The thing that i want most from the world is for people to stop being yelled at for things that they struggle with that they're trying not to struggle with" Oof that hit me like a truck.

[@cathybrokeit12]

I'm having that trouble with psychiatrists right now, like please stop being like 'we're canceling your apointment' for things that are very hard for us aghhh

[@nicolebacon2747]

+

[@bluyellow]

😭😭😢😭🙌👏👏👏

[@mothbythesea]

Same

[@prapanthebachelorette6803]

Yeah, totally relatable

[@jennyreese4913]

I cried yesterday in the car on the way to vote because I tried so hard to have everything organized and yet I couldn't find a document once I got in the car. It's so frustrating when you spend 3 times as long in order to organize yourself and then when it falls through it can be so hard.

[@xrockangelx]

I've done a lot of car-crying after trying so hard but failing anyway. I feel ya there. It really does hurt so much.

[@bw753]

This happened to me today!!! The frustration is just overwhelming. I hope you were ok and things will still turn out well

[@pogofuzz]

❤️ I hear you and experience this nearly everyday. I’m so exhausted from looking for things too! Especially, things I just had.😂😥. Sending hugs of love. So glad I’m not alone. It’s nice to be able to find people being open to end the stigma so we can be heard and accepted.

[@MulattoMovement]

Practice mindfulness meditation regularly and it will help you a lot

[@IdreesNajibi]

I got diagnosed at 27, 4 years ago. This video made me emotional. Super validating. I spent so much life thinking I was making "moral failures." I still do to this day, but this vid and your "How to Get Stuff Done..." vid from 7 years ago are so incredibly helpful. Thank you 🙏🏼

[@chucker625]

The best way I've found to explain ADHD is this: Let's say you are at a sports bar and there is a different baseball game playing on each TV. Now imagine feeling compelled to keep track of what the "last pitch" was in every single game while simultaneously trying to hold an intelligent conversation with the people at your table.

[@funch357]

AND trying to decide what to order!

[@OMGSHEENA]

As a kid I told my Father my brain was like spaghetti highway. Which is what some people call the twisted highway in California. There are overlapping bridges of lanes. Anyway I said my brain feels like spaghetti highway. I constantly have this twisted highway of multi layered thoughts. They're racing around and sometimes they crash and the wrong thing comes out. I was like 10 when I told him this. It seems so obvious now. But at the time it was scary and thrilling to me to realize I had so many levels of thoughts at the same time and that it wasn't normal. I both felt like someone would find out and tell me I'm insane and need to be locked up and also felt like I had a super power. As I've gotten older there aren't as many layers and I find that thoughts disappear and reappear at random causing me to lose my train of thought. 🤷‍♀️

[@wynterfir]

@@OMGSHEENA took me a solid 10 minutes to read that. I probably need to sleep.

[@cruztastrophe]

This comment just made me realize why I hate BWW and other sports bars.

[@chucker625]

@@cruztastrophe I still like going for the informal / non-stuffy atmosphere (and I like sports). But, that comment is DEFINITELY why my wife doesn't like going to sports bars with me.

[@janwilliams8930]

I’m 67 and was diagnosed at 55. A lot of things finally clicked for me. It helped to know why I am the way I am. My sisters and kids don’t believe I have ADHD. I have always struggled with zoning out, deadlines, perception of time, paying bills, hyper focusing and perfection/procrastination. It can be tough!

[@christinevr7698]

Same! Diagnosed last week at the ripe age of 56. I resonate with your comment so hard!

[@craigbarlowconsultancytrai9073]

Hey Jan! Yes, I hear you. I was diagnosed at 51 when my son was diagnosed. I'm lucky because he and I have been working it out together and having a buddy helps on the days when the ADHD wins. My family try to get it but struggle. Jessica's vids have been really helpful. Check out Russell Barkley's vids too. Best wishes :)

[@FlowerChyld43]

I'm so sorry to hear that. I just got diagnosed and am pretty sure my entire family will believe it's me, offering an excuse for_________. 😐

[@colleenomara4980]

Age 56 for me. Still not treated, as other crazier things have recently affected my life.

[@sabaiong]

I can understand it too, diagnosed at 57, im almost 60 now. So really especially if you re living in this part of the world where people dont feel comfortable talking openly about adhd awareness, to find support groups you will have to dig deeper

[@stanfortho]

My friends once told me, " most people's trains of thought go from point A to point B. Yours goes from A to C, makes a stop for a snack somewhere, takes a quick side trip to see something cool at point D, and maybe, occasionally makes it to point B." Yet somehow (probably because it was the 80's/90's), I was never diagnosed. I'm now in my 40's and only because I've been researching ADHD to help my son have I realized that it would explain SO much of my life. Incidentally, I have not yet been diagnosed. I've made it this far, should I seek a diagnosis?

[@TheJamster1234567]

When you think you are different its such a relief when your told. Your like this because.... I would try and make an effort to find out. U may find just what your looking for. Or at least you tried. I say yes

[@bodhimind108]

That is goal. I'm right with you. I am in my 40s and I have been seeing the signs for some time. One of my sons is exhibiting extreme signs and I see myself in him. I've seen videos and read articles on this that emphasize that it is never too late to get help. With things being very difficult right now in general, I find my self thinking "god...once I take care of [insert entire list of things I have to do now that I can't seem to deal with] then I can work on getting an assessment. But that doesn't seem to be likely to happen in my current state of mind. The catch-22 is real.

[@jenkapp1094]

Oooh this reminds me of a line from To the Lighthouse by Virginia Woolfe where she talks about one characters mind being like a piano with a logical progression of keys and the other characters mind being like a jar of fireflies. I always really liked that description. That book was really good but hard to read as someone with adhd, because a lot of it was really sad but relatable from the perspective of a woman but also as someone with adhd.

[@bodhimind108]

@@jenkapp1094 Maybe I will read this book while listening to Alice in Chains' Jar of Flies. They might go together very well.

[@lkf8799]

I'm finding myself in a similar situation. But I was thinking that everybody has a little bit of something and as long as you're functional and happy then maybe you're okay. Just becoming aware of it and having resources make me feel better, and knowing I can find better coping mechanisms and strategies. What's the alternative? Taking medication? Can't say I'm not curious about Adderall LOL but no, thank you.

[@tzeliquin898]

You have no idea how much this video has helped me. As a kid my parents did not like psychiatrists/psychologists so I never got a diagnosis and now I'm at a point where I want help and just seeing I'm not the only one who struggles in those kinds of ways gives me so much courage to get help and start healing and doing better.❤

[@Snow4LifeNEver]

I've never had any suspicion until going to grad school, especially after COVID. The complete loss of structure hit hard. Having a schedule on which I had no control made me feel much more in control, ironically.

[@DaniiHeart]

Yepp!!

[@z_zenith]

Yeah I failed the whole of my 5th year of high school because of the loss of scheduling during Covid. I never got the support that I needed as I hadn't been diagnosed with ADHD at that point.

[@karenwilliams5941]

I'm the opposite I had structure during covid I now don't have structure no 2 weeks are the same it's so great

[@erinlizbet]

ME TOO. I was a nurse before, which is a completely structured environment from day one. I went into grad school for fine arts last year and everything sort of caught up to me…

[@abbydevries6895]

That's what happened for me too...I did fine in HS bc of structure, burned out in undergrad, climbed my way back out w/ a very active/on-your-feet job, then started an intense grad school program in 2020 and realized something was seriously wrong. Got diagnosed 2022, but still struggling uphill and feeling tortured trying to wrap up the requirements of my degree. The anxiety and shame is horrendous and crippling, and I often feel utterly incapable of reining in my brain at will, even though I'm trying so hard and losing sleep and begging myself to focus.

[@TaoOx1]

I'm an adult and I'm told I'm just using my ADHD as an excuse when I'm trying to explain why I have difficulties with time management, organization, listening and more.

[@starashakti2833]

Same here… words spoken by people who just don’t understand. 🙁🤷🏽‍♀️

[@Greenenergytoday-l6s]

Always… 🥴

[@sunleo6161]

I would be so mad omg

[@rayaqueen9657]

Face Palm! .. And fury

[@UnveiledAngel]

My older sister just tells me I need to try harder. We're in our 40s and she still doesn't get it.

[@bonessasan]

I was a total daydreamer and deep thinker. I was that weird 4 y.o. kid that would sit in the front or backyard seemingly staring at nothing for an hour. I know now I was probably using nature to treat overwhelm that I was starting to experience. I already knew I was different, that particular realization came at maybe 2.5 years old. (My older brother was diagnosed much quicker than I was, luckily my mom already understood non-neurotypical attributes and behavior, she probably suspected something long before I was diagnosed). Oh, and over-explaining. Clearly.

[@daniellereynolds8759]

I can totally relate to this!! I was total daydreamer as a kid, and was often made fun of for “staring at walls.” My teachers would constantly call me out for not paying attention in class. Soooo annoying!

[@bonessasan]

@@ContentConfessional I think from being frequently misunderstood. I will sometimes think I've said something to someone out loud or assume they can follow my train of thought (forgetting that most people don't have things linked in their minds quite like I do).

[@gclaytonlewis]

Your channel is a lot like poetry to me: I tend to avoid things that make me feel the vulnerable emotions, because just like trying to clean a room or pack, it feels like picking up one item leads to lifting the entire world. Thank you for sharing your insights, encouragement, and your vulnerability to remind us it's GOOD to show up authentically. ❤

[@shawncasey2973]

"The thing that I want most from the world is for people to stop being yelled at for things that they struggle with." This hit me so hard. I was diagnosed about a year ago (at 38) and I still feel like I'm constantly being criticized for my struggles, that I'm not using my strategies, that I'm relying too much on my medication, etc. It sucks. But then I turn around and yell at my son who is obviously struggling with his own struggles, and when I reflect, I feel so terrible about it. Thank you for your vulnerability with this.

[@gotglint.]

And that one hit me… cause same same

[@tominkazhanychova]

I do the same. Mother with ADHD, daughter with ADHD. Good grief. She is just like me.

[@shawncasey2973]

@@tominkazhanychova It's great to know there are others who share our struggles. Sending distracted hugs your way

[@ricoender8020]

Worse when it's without meds.

[@squirrelly68]

If THAT hit you, watch her TED talk. I was sobbing the entire time. It was like she was reading my diary to an audience. But yeah, lots of insight in that talk. And Shawn, don't beat yourself up. You're human. You're neurodivergent. You recognized an error and you will likely stop that behavior and work on the situation with your child. That's called growth. And it's called love. Stay there and work from that point. Welcome to the jungle.

[@bretthansen3739]

I was a gifted kid with ADHD. It ended up meaning I didn't get support for either. My parents think it was a moral failing to this day, and I thought they were right until I was 40 and had a life full of unexplained failures.

[@MrsJune24th]

Sorry about that! I am sure lots of us relate! I know I do!

[@gypsypath1]

Any tips on moving past the grief and anger over a life wasted?

[@bretthansen3739]

@@gypsypath1 No, not yet. I finally like myself (which seems like a good first step), but this realization was only the month before the pandemic. The grief and anger are still at full force. I'm not even diagnosed yet with COVID making everything harder.

[@ghettofox77]

Read 'the drummer and the great mountain'. Realise that you're a hunter in a world geared for farmers. There are a million things i wish i could go back To change. But now I know what I am, what 'we' are, I'm free.explore and enjoy your strengths, be aware of and better your weaknesses and see life through a clear lense

[@ghettofox77]

It'll make more sense when you read it!

[@LadyMiner100]

I learned with my sons to give them notice we had an interrupt coming-" we have to leave for town in 30 minutes", "we have to leave in 10 minutes", "5 minutes guys", "out the door everyone!". If I didn't do this, someone would have a melt down, or we'd be super late. This is funny, since I'm the distractible one who is diagnosed with ADHD! I learned the skills on myself that I then used on them. The boys and I all hyper focus, so breaking the lock without causing a meltdown was the trick. As adults we all do fine now although there is a trail of unfinished projects...

[@adrianmasters250]

Good on you, this is a very smart strategy and shows a full understanding of the ADHD response to changing focus to a new task or situation. I wish people around me understood this when they spring sudden situations and tasks on me.

[@andrearepetto217]

Yes!!! I do this too with my kid. My spouse and I both have ADHD so I'm learning about coping mechanisms for myself but also so I can be a better parent to someone who will most likely grow up with ADHD.

[@aBitSaltyRN]

I wish adults would do this, too! I have ADHD as does my 8yr old. I use the same tools to keep her on track. If adults could follow suit, it would tremendously helpful functioning in the real world.

[@prapanthebachelorette6803]

@@aBitSaltyRN yeah right

[@DjCuddlebear]

thank you for the idea. i do this to myself. but i have 3 kids. and i do have 1 that always melts down when its too sudden. im keeping a close eye on that one