Hug Him Once For Me

I wrote this song when we laid my sweet Braden down for a nap and he didn’t wake up. My heart was broken as we rushed him to the emergency room and they worked to save him for an hour. The inevitable words came, “we’ve done all we can do.” I collapsed into a chair and told God I simply couldn’t handle this. Weeks went by, then months. My heart grew angry and bitter at God. Everyone else went about life as normal but mine was changed, broken, harsh, lonely. I sat down to read my Bible as I always did, and slammed it shut. “I’m done with you God.” I stomped to the shower and began to sing. I immediately stopped and made a fist, “I won’t sing to you either!” Immediately hard hot tears began to fall, and the words to this song poured out of my mouth. I ran out, grabbed a paper and wrote down what God had penned on my heart. This song was my Jacob moment. You know the one, where God and Jacob wrestled, and God touched Jacob’s thigh and he was forever crippled. Never to forget his wrestling match with God. That day, I wrestled, and God touched me, leaving me forever scarred to remember my surrender to Him. This song was only ever intended to be a balm for my heart and my family, but God has used it to touch thousands of lives, far more than even Braden’s life could have reached. I am so thankful God saw fit to take the time to wrestle it out with little ole’ me.
Lyrics and Music written by Erica Waddell.