Husband DEMANDING Paternity Test Then Acting Cold Is Making Me Second Guess Baby r/Relationships

[@owl7072]

Local man doesn't use protection, wonders how his wife got pregnant. More at 6. Now to Steve for the weather.

[@jqdsilva]

Lmaaaooo this could be a florida man story. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@johnbradbury8610]

it's amazing that in 2024 people still don't understand this concept. if Op got pregnant on a one-night stand or she had been texting another guy I could understand the test but it's obvious he wants to run from the responsibility. They are both idiots for having unprotected sex without discussing parenthood. I'm glad that Op is moving on.

[@slayermoon666]

‘We here at channel four news can report that d-canoe husband and shady ‘friend’ have gone missing in pieces..’ more next month

[@KADDIE101]

@@jqdsilva omg thats what i said 🤣🤣🤣

[@Resilient_Sage88]

Scattered projection with a 100% assurance of cheating lol

[@kyriacarica5862]

>We don’t use protection during sex > OP’s husband: How could have this happened?! Anyone want to suggest a biology 101 class for this guy?

[@caridadchang7895]

I teach biology, my kids know this by age 14

[@heffa3821]

@@caridadchang7895 lmao some folks just beyond stupid like OP can't wait for update hope she dumps divorces and aborts so she has nothin to dow ith that trash

[@twiggytofu]

This is elementary school level knowledge. We learned this in third grade. Embarrassing

[@grizbear4115]

New law enstated: If you don't have a passing grade in Biology and Sex Ed, then you can't have children.

[@DiabolicGoth]

I don't think the "friend" realizes that if op's husband really wanted her, he'd leave her. What a dumbass. The former friend is just the backup and doesn't realize it

[@fallingawayfromthenorm]

The side pieces never seem to understand this concept.

[@ImaNerdANDaGeek]

I see two possible reasons behind this behavior. 1. He cheated and is now projecting. 2. He is not ready to be a father and is trying to force an opportunity to deny responsibility,

[@williamemerick6060]

Three, it's a crazy world with lots of stories about cheating, he just wants to be sure.

[@ImaNerdANDaGeek]

@@williamemerick6060 I suppose if it happened to someone they knew it could put a person on edge, but having reached the update I know that's not the case here.

[@AnnieListening]

Or he is infertile or had a vasectomy behind her back

[@colleens1107]

C) both

[@CircusoftheMoon]

@@williamemerick6060 There’s a way to go about it and it’s not treating your partner like a cheating floozy when you know you’ve been going raw for months. lmao It’s giving I don’t know how babies are made.

[@cl5470]

Last Story: As the parent of a severely disabled child, she just described my worst nightmare. That my child will die lonely and abandoned shortly after my death. Those parents were wrong to put that responsibility on OP, though. I plan to move my son into a facility long before my death so he can be used to his new life and home. That way, when my husband and I pass, he won't have to deal with all the change at the same time as his grief.

[@sammieh9695]

My 11yo has cp, and same. I'm lucky he has siblings, I know at some point I won't be able to physically care for him anymore. I know I will have to do the same and put him in a care facility. My hope is that his siblings keep him close and visit often enough to ensure he's happy and well cared for once I'm gone.

[@clockwork3494]

The update crushed me, I don't think it was healthiest for OP to prioritize the dying wish as much as she did, yet I feel both John's parents are greatful for how far she went just to keep in touch with their kid and make sure he wasn't alone right until the end. I hope she's able to move on and grow now, as sad as it is John passed away (the circumstances of his death both perplex and worry me since I feel his caretakers should've noticed sooner), I think this was the last thing holding her back from going out to properly explore, grow and flourish in her life. Hopefully the move with her husband will be a fresh start

[@zdkp]

My parents best friends decided the husband should get a vasectomy after the birth of their 6th child. 18 months later, she was pregnant. He divorced her. It tore the family apart.A few years later, after a paternity test, he found out he was, in fact, the father. The family was destroyed beyond repair. He never remarried. She did. His children wouldn't have anything to do with him.

[@nyxx5357]

Always get your sperm count re-tested at the recommended intervals after a vasectomy! Also, maybe get a paternity test before divorcing your spouse.

[@zdkp]

@nyxx5357 Yes..he learned the hard way.

[@KaileyB616]

What an absolute idiot

[@susanhale6197]

@@zdkp Yup. Someone I knew got a vasectomy. The post-snip child not only looks exactly like his family, but turns out the Kaiser hospital that did his procedure is notorious for self reversing vasectomies!

[@alexacarrillo4339]

My friend ended up with a sister when she turned 21 which was 24 yrs ago and decade plus after her dad’s vasectomy. My BIL got cauterized, snipped, and clipped versus my friend’s dad that was just snipped. We have gotten better at preventing it from reversing. My friend’s dad did get his sperm count checked not because he was denying the child was his but because he was shocked it reversed and wondered how fertile he was.

[@LovesGaming37]

Infertile doesn't mean sterile. Infertile just means it's harder to get pregnant. Sterile means impossible as there is either no testicles or ovaries/uterus. We need to teach people the massive difference. Starting with how doctors explain it to people

[@sfsin3380]

Yup my Aunt has a condition that mean she infertile and was told the odds of her getting pregnant naturally is astronomically low. information that she found out after she had trouble trying for a Second child. It took ages to find out what the issue was because even her Doctor (GP) dismissed it as a possibility because she'd already had a baby it was the specialist she was finally sent after 3 year of testing to that finally gave her answers.

[@joaolima7131]

I see people misusing this terms A LOT, like a REAL lot

[@CanonSkyrissian]

story 1: bro is either projecting his own cheating or seriously failed sex ed or has been binging andrew tate edit: yup, cheating

[@lifewithlee6298]

It was both

[@FlamesAndShadows]

Both. He chose both

[@angelaparney6403]

The first time I heard this story as soon as the former friend said that he had a "valid" reason. I said it's bcuz he's cheating with her. As soon as the update hit I was hoping I was wrong and he was just panicking. Not even my relationship and I felt my gut send alarms

[@yamairad1]

Story 1. If the mistress gets pregnant. Is he really going to trust that the mistress is faithful? Absolutely insane!

[@MorganVsTheInternet]

1- Did he miss the part where they weren’t using protection? You can't do the horizontal mambo without protection then cry when it makes a baby!

[@TheVeggiekat]

Story 1 - OP’s husband watched the documentary “Big Mouth” on Netflix and without fail practiced the birth control method of saying “No baby, no baby, no baby,” prior to having sex and truly believed this method was foolproof.

[@nyxx5357]

🤣 This is the only explanation I will accept.

[@DtoZ]

Story 1 prediction, husband is projecting. He’s having an affair and his affair partner is pregnant

[@LunaP1]

Most of the time, that's what it is. 2/5 times it's cheating. 1/5 is mental illness (being unreasonably paranoid). The other 1/5 is beyond immaturity. And the other 1/5 is outside manipulation (coworker, family members, friends, etc spewing misinformation or poison in their ear).

[@jimdob6528]

OR the guy isn’t an idiot and realizes that these tests need to be legally mandatory.

[@kayb5966]

7⁷@@-🎉🎉🎉 30:23 31:38 😊 32:10 😅

[@LivRogers-tw6oe]

​@jimdob6528 the guy was an idiot. He was having an affair with her friend. He asked for the test just because he was projecting like the cheater he is. Tests should not be mandatory

[@Ohkay5613]

​@@jimdob6528 tests dont need to be mandatory. Why? Tests are easily accessible for anyone who wants them.

[@robinronin]

S1: Yeah, always 1) check if he’s cheating, 2) get a lawyer, 3) get a prenatal paternity test, 4) get the results, 5) get an abortion, 6) serve results + divorce papers. Never tie yourself to a man like this in any way, and don’t give him the blessing of getting a child from you after what he did. Don’t put your body through hell and permanent changes for a man like that.

[@heffa3821]

LMFAO I JUST TYPED THAT AS A RESPONSE I HOPE SHE DOES yep she don't need that toxic waste in her life

[@ebonynaomi1085]

I would do that too.

[@shadowmuted-jg4ky]

Option 5 isn't going to be an option anymore.

[@eliassmith27]

​@shadowmuted-jg4ky friendly reminder that in grandma's day men tended to fall off ladders.

[@carolroberts4614]

My grandfathers didn't live long enough for me and my younger sister to know them! Grandmas were feisty ladies.....

[@oldwoman5942]

Usually a false accusation of cheating comes from a person who is actually cheating.

[@johnbradbury8610]

to the men out there: if you don't want to be a father don't have unprotected sex

[@marie34K]

The guy punching holes in the wall is so funny from a European perspective ....over here if you're stupid enough to hit a wall you always end up in the ER .,.with a broken arme or wrist ! Our walls are made of bricks or the equivalent, not wooden crappy paper thin

[@FlamesAndShadows]

Oh, thats why they do it! Movies have decieved me. Or though it was more like breaking car's window with a fist, while doable would hurt you more right back, in reality

[@smapa1185]

​@@FlamesAndShadowsLol yes, drywall in North America is literally plaster like 2cm thick. It's VERY EASY to damage walls.

[@nelissaortiz5405]

​@FlamesAndShadows Accidentally leaned too far back and bumped the wall once. I heard it tear and now there a nice line straight down the wall. They are always a breath away from breaking

[@podunk_woman]

I heard a man adamantly say on a debate video recently that women will know the morning after that they are pregnant. If they don't, theyre either stupid or on drugs. Some people are incredibly ignorant of how pregnancy works.

[@Frazzled_Chameleon]

I don't think any relationship can survive the demand for a paternity test on the back of cheating accusations. It's such a breach of trust.

[@CRSB00]

I mean, save for few cases, demanding a paternity test *is* a cheating accusation

[@rachecology]

I saw another comment that mentioned getting a paternity test to make sure the hospital didn't switch your baby with someone else's. Tbh, that sounds like a good idea

[@DrgnLdyLizzie2001]

It happened in another story. The guy was sure it wasn't his. The test proved it, but his wife did a test, too, and found out that the baby wasn't hers either! The baby had been switched at the hospital. It's also pretty rare, but a baby might be the husband's but not the mom's due to chimerism.

[@randomusername3873]

They always do, only when it comes to paternity tests insecurities become a problem lol

[@johnbradbury8610]

No, if they had just met or Op had been texting a guy( or anything suspicious) it would be different but they were married and having unprotected sex for a year.

[@jaylynn8630]

"maybe he can write on his college application about overcoming the adversity of having a Stage 4 Moron for a father" LMFAO losing my mind over this

[@Mia-dt3gl]

The husband in Story 1 is so screwed and I’m so happy about it.

[@Daydream_N]

Honestly probably not. He'd probably be overjoyed about the divorce and if OP gets the abortion he'll probably see that as problem solved

[@bryn1063]

​@Daydream_N not if his own family knows about what's going on. If they're good people he and his mistress will be shamed.

[@Mia-dt3gl]

@@Daydream_N Financially he’ll be screwed. If OP lives in an at-fault state he’ll be paying her through the nose.

[@Daydream_N]

@@bryn1063 people that do these kind of things are typically people who don't care about shame or honour

[@untitled-gv3qp]

​@@Daydream_N If he didn't care or actually wanted a divorce he wouldn't have stayed and had an affair. The fact that he was still having x with the OP for months before the pregnancy shows that. He didn't want a divorce he just wanted to sleep with the friend on the side.

[@chrisester2910]

So, crazy girlfriend thought that he cheated with his married boss who is in a same sex relationship?

[@margaritap.9459]

Ironclad logic

[@fallingawayfromthenorm]

Story 1 - I’ll never understand why people get married if they have so little dedication to it that a year in, they start an affair. He’s mad he made a child with his wife and doesn’t want to be tied to her? What in the actual hell? I wouldn’t be surprised if one of the reasons he didn’t want to use condom even though he didn’t want kids with his wife is because he’s one of those guys who’ll pressure their partner into not using them because “condoms don’t feel as good”.

[@nyxx5357]

Condoms really don't feel as good, though, and this is coming from someone with a vagina. They take away the texture and smooth out the shape of the penis, completely taking away all friction. Too much friction is bad, yes, but there can also be not enough. It ends up feeling like I'm using a really cheap dildo instead of having sex, and it's pretty much impossible for me to climax. Condoms are still needed for birth control and STI prevention, obviously. I just think we shouldn't pretend like they don't suck.

[@alana.dyer.author]

Tbh, as someone who is really sensitive, condoms do not feel good. That being said, i am on the pill and respect my partner if he wants to use condoms.

[@mbyerly9680]

If your partner demands a paternity test for no real reason, he's either paranoid or cheating. When the second OP had a meal with his ex's parents, it sounds like they wanted to trade their daughter for OP. I can't say that I blame them.

[@fufufuaru]

damn. parents in story 2 are awesome. i imagine They're those unicorn in-laws people in relationships wish they'd have

[@maurer3d]

Story 2: Run, as long as you are there the Ex will manipulate her into thinking he wants her back, and the second you leave her he will drop her like a rock. It is the continuation of his A-cycle. She will never be in a successful relationship if she is willing to answer his call, no matter the reason for the call. This dirtbag is literally using his child as a tool, to keep her answering.

[@johnbradbury8610]

I can't stand it when the cheated-on person apologizes for going through their phone. OP ignored a major red-flag by her contact with a kid that wasn't hers. Glad it worked out. it seems like her parents wanted des[pertly for OP to be the new man in her life. II think people need to realize some things about therapy 1. It only works if the person wants the help 2. It won't change cheating.

[@randomusername3873]

"manipulate her" implies that there is a chance of her not knowing exactly what she is doing

[@MrJpaynebb]

​@@randomusername3873 some say manipulate but I prefer using the term addiction lately when it comes to many toxic relationships. In a weird, jacked up way people do sometimes become addicted to the drama and toxicity of a bad relationship. She was free of this man and actually cut him off but like an addict she decided to talk to him again for "the kid". Everyone knew it would end 1 of 2 ways. Them actually hooking up again physically or him ghosting her. No surprise as soon as she told the ex that her and OP were over he ghosted her because he got his revenge of screwing with her. OP walking away is not only best for him but for her as well. Like an addict now she see that going back to her toxicity has cost her a good relationship that she will never get back. Maybe this is her rock bottom to understand exactly what plight her ex is. Even her own parents didn't try to persuade OP to taking her back.

[@Gymtoshi]

Women that cheat with married men baffle me. They must really be the most insecure women on the planet to internally need to be validated over the top of the wife. I don’t get how they don’t understand that if these men will do it WITH you, they will do it TO you. They always go pikachu faced when they realize the POS man is cheating on them too. And to the actual cheater themself, you will NEVER have a fulfilling relationship long term until you fix yourself. This magical “spark” you’re looking for? That newness feeling? Yeah, that goes away with literally every single person you will ever date long term. You will never meet a person who doesn’t become stable and “boring” if you want long term commitment with them. Lastly, I understand when you’re sleeping with someone, that newness is exciting and you’re thinking you are so in love, the problem with that? You aren’t dealing with any part of an actual relationship with them. Sex is NOT a relationship, that’s the fun part, the easy part. Many people that cheat end up breaking up within a year after realizing they can’t stand what their partner is like in an actual live in relationship. Their habits are too much.

[@FlamesAndShadows]

That definitely explains why, if we exclude multitude of material reasons, why some don't want to give up their legal partner. Its service perks, emotional support/problem solving, or compatible day to day habits

[@randomusername3873]

Evil people attract evil people I guess😂

[@pinkykaur6821]

I love that you added a little summary of the first story in the description box!

[@Markee]

I do it for every video 😜

[@LaviniaKing-hz9ue]

--- Just get a paternity test and divorce papers. Sue him for child support, physical and legal custody. Husband and your "friend" are pieces of focal material.

[@johnbradbury8610]

She is having an abortion. she no longer needs this guy in her life.

[@roelthas]

So as soon as the only person that constantly visited him could not longer do it, the guy ends up chocking to death? That sounds like neglect from the facility since OP was not there to regularly to check on him, and in a way, put pressure on them to properly look after him. What a sad end.

[@dianabialaskahansen2972]

Story 1: Been too long on reddit. Even before update I was 99% sure he cheated, with the remaining 1% being infertility/secret vasectomy.

[@CRSB00]

That 1% option diesn't exclude cheating lol you can both be infertile/had a secret vasectomy and cheating

[@nyxx5357]

Yup. When a spouse starts acting angry and defensive about something objectively positive, it is a huge red flag.

[@jomc6734]

Story 1: When OP's husband asked how she got pregnant, she should have explained sex to him. Considering the fact they were having sex without using birth control, it was extremely possible. What kind of friend does OP have who would agree with OP's husband that it was a 'valid concern' that the baby wasn't his and would say 'that he clearly had a reason to feel that way'. WTAF. That seems like OP's friend is also suggesting that OP may be cheating. Maybe OP's husband is cheating with her friend. After the update: OP needs to kick her husband and 'former friend' out of her life and send copies of the text to their friend group to let them know what happened.

[@slayermoon666]

In the first story… I knew he was cheating

[@slimecorn]

It’s always projection

[@slayermoon666]

@@slimecornand I was reading my tarot cards and I saw the friend of op up to shady dirt…

[@trillionbones89]

​@@slimecorn projection or incel brain worms

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

Just another case of someone wanting their cake and eating it, too. He wants to be with the friend but doesn’t want to give up his bang maid. That’s why he blew up at OP, he’s a selfish person that just wants to use her and doesn’t want many strings attached.

[@KE-hr4sb]

S1: "I shouldn't have reacted this way over his valid concerns." Except they aren't valid. Ditch the whole relationship. 1) He's stupid if he doesn't know that sex - protection = babies. 2) He's quick to accuse you of cheating. Not because you haven't been intimate lately. Not because you've been using birth control. Not because he had suspicions or you had cheated in the past or you had given him a reason not to trust you. Just, because! 3) Are you sure he's not projecting? Cause when my ex accused me of cheating and wanted a paternity test, guess what came out?! Either that, or he got a secret vasectomy and didn't tell you (because he knew no kids was a deal breaker) and he was just going to pretend like it just never happened for you. And with the friend that defended him, lookie there. Color me shocked. There was a post recently where the wife is pregnant, husband is confused because they hadn't done more than cuddle lately. She claimed he passed out and she, assaulted him (although she was offended he was mad). He told his brother, who told him to "stop being a pussy, you're a terrible husband and she has to pleasure herself this way so you're lucky she doesn't just leave you." Brother was cheating with the wife (she was furious that OP "violated her privacy" by going through her phone).

[@LadyBern]

Just once I want a father to want a paternity test and when the op makes an update saying that they asks for a divorce/break up for not trusting them the husband/S.O. goes "What? No no no. I trust you 100%. Shit, I see what happened. When i said after the baby is born we should take a paternity test I really meant we both should. I'm... I'm really paranoid that the hospital might mix up our baby with someone else's. I know the chances are low but not impossible. That has always been one of my biggest fears when i think about parenthood. Baby, I'm sorry you thought that I was accusing you of cheating."

[@FlamesAndShadows]

Or just be vulnerable about his insecurities without accusations from the start. Be covil or open during, and make it up to her after.

[@LadyBern]

@@FlamesAndShadows naw I want the twist of "I trust you with my heart and soul. It's the hospitals I don't trust. Here's my list of times babies were switched. I'm this case the parents died without ever knowing about it, their bio kid grew up in hellish poverty!

[@dream6562]

I think it's reasonable to ask for one, just think about all the stories we have heard where op finds out they are not the father after showing nothing but trust in their partnership

[@cl5470]

Babies aren't taken away to the nursery like they are in the movies. The baby will stay in your room and both mom and baby have ID tags on that they scan every few hours to make sure mom and baby match up and are together. Also, you WILL recognize your own baby, even just minutes after you first see them. That little face will be burned into your memory. It is very VERY unlikely to happen. Babies wear ankle bracelets from the moment they are born.

[@cl5470]

Also, you want to see a man lie and manipulate the mother of his children after insulting her? Yikes.

[@colleens1107]

I’m so relieved she plans to terminate. I feel so terrible for her as she was genuinely happy to be pregnant but yeahhh who would want a POS like that to be tied to the kid. Betcha he would have to be forced through courts to pay child support and would also marry a woman who would be tots wicked stepmother. Nah better to find a man who will be a good husband and father

[@flamingodahlia3703]

Ah yes red rum the baby because you have bad taste

[@smapa1185]

​@@flamingodahlia3703 LMAO you have no idea what it's like being tied to an abuser, do you? Yes, end whatever TINY not-even-human-looking pregnancy there is because the father seems likely to abuse the wife and the potential child anyway.

[@nyxx5357]

​@flamingodahlia3703 Murder is, by definition, the unlawful killing of a human being. Abortion is not murder because it is lawful, and fetuses are not yet human beings. Before 20 weeks (the maximum cutoff for abortion in the US excluding medically necessary ones), fetuses are only partially developed and not conscient. They move, yes, but they are not fully formed, nor are they capable of thought.

[@whitneybennett4857]

I mean, personally, I think she should've given the child up for adoption as soon as it was born, but I guess since postpartum depression would still very likely be on the table and she's already an emotional trainwreck as it is, I can't blame her too much.

[@flamingodahlia3703]

@@nyxx5357 Keep telling yourself that to ease your conscience

[@DominosAndHearts]

Story 1 wtf 😅😂 someone (ops husband) missed sex ed it seems lol plus extremely disrespectful and horrible to say what he said 😮

[@DominosAndHearts]

Ohh that update 😅😮

[@kateemma22]

I must be in the cinema because these stories are just overflowing with projection!

[@lina9535]

Imo, that kind of reaction is projection. He's probably cheating on OP. Also, there's a saying from OBGYNs "if you're not using a form of bc/protection, they you are trying for a baby". So really, it shouldn't be a surprise for anyone when stuff like this happens (of course there are exception, such as tubal ligation, etc) Edit: So..... how long has OPs friend been into OPs husband? And have they done the horizontal mambo yet? Imo, asking for a paternity test is fine, but it should be done in the right way. Like before even trying for a baby, have that talk. It will often turn out better, and it usually doesn't come across as an accusation.

[@BoxOKittens]

That last story was breaking my heart I swear. Sometimes life throws a situation at you and there's no easy answer. I can't blame John's mother for wanting OP to promise to still visit, though. Who can blame a mother who is dying and is terrified her kid will be all alone. I loved all the advice that OP got, they were very good suggestions. The update was very sad, however, and it's terrible that John was taken before his time. We can only hope at this point that OP can live with a sense of peace that they did everything they could, they went above and beyond and are a truly good person at heart.

[@loganjoh1]

Story 3: RIP John so sad that’s how it ends for him.

[@TwiggyHetfield27]

Story 2: "Some people unfortunately are addicted to being treated poorly" THIS!! My last best friend was like this. Her one ex was INCREDIBLY physically abusive. When she finally left him she hopped into her next relationship almost immediately with her next POS bf. After a few years of him emotionally & verbally abusing her they got into a physical altercation & she left him. The next guy (from what I heard I never got to meet him) was an incredible guy. Helped her family, & genuinely cared for her. But she dumped him to go back to her ex because she was "soo in love with him". She had a kid with him, left him AGAIN, went back to him AGAIN, got pregnant AGAIN, left AGAIN then he died. When he died she put up posts saying how wonderful he was & stopped talking to me. 14 years of friendship... poof.

[@nyxx5357]

Watching these people destroy themselves is so sad. You see them in trouble, so you help them because you feel bad, and they just dive right back into more trouble. I have to avoid those people, because if I don't, I'll keep getting sucked into their B.S.

[@TwiggyHetfield27]

@@nyxx5357 You're telling me. This woman was like my sister. When she got back together with him I told her I wasn't happy but it was her life & she is an adult. It's been 3 months since we've stopped talking & I've had time to reflect. 9 1/2 of those years were her venting to me about him. Every conversation looped right back around. I was her personal sounding board. What dug the knife even deeper was her choosing to name a chick she's barely known for 2 years as both her kids godmother. Proves to be that I was never a thought in her mind unless it came to him...

[@TwiggyHetfield27]

@@nyxx5357 You're telling me. When they got back together I told her I wasn't happy but she an adult, she makes her own choices. I've realized though that in the 9 1/2 years out of our 14 year friendship she only ever called to complain about him. Every conversation looped been around. What dug the knife deeper was her naming some chick she's barely known for 2 years as BOTH her kids godmother. This woman was like my sister. And that just hurt so massively.

[@jake8748]

S1 - the friend said his concerns are valid? No they aren't. Why does this friend seem to know something more in depth? This friend is defending OPs husband and enabling him accusing her for being a bad partner. That doesn't sit well with me, maybe to many reddit stories but that sounds like a classic blame the victim projection from both of them. ETA after update. Yep called it.

[@YamanekoshiroYoukai]

Story 1: when the husband demands a paternity test without any indication of cheating? That's him projecting his own cheating.

[@valgardener7656]

Story 1: "He demanded a paternity test and told me there was no way it was his." Okay . . . either he's a complete loon, and you should break up with him. Or he's cheating and projecting, and you should break up with him. Or he got a vasectomy without telling you, and you should break up with him. "If I had nothing to hide, I would take the test and prove my loyalty to him." Okay, he's a Red Pill type, and he is literally just doing this to humiliate you. He didn't use protection in the first place, JUST so he could do this. Check his phone/computer and see what he's been up to online. I would bet you ANYTHING this is all a deliberate setup. "He clearly had a reason to feel that way about the relationship." No, he didn't. He clearly didn't. Your friend is a bad friend. Update: "He wasn't willing to talk to me . . . until we got the test done." See? You agreed to the test already. You're being the kind, submissive, understanding little wifey already. He's just going to keep on treating you like crap, to show you what a big man he is. "it is indeed with the friend I mentioned in the last post". Oh! Didn't see that coming. But clearly someone did. Kudos to them. "It's only been a year. How did he get to this point." Either his AP is manipulating him, or redpill influencers are. I don't see him as actually hating OP. I just think he's bought the narrative that cheating on, humiliating, and dominating his wife is the way to be a big man.

[@joeyjojojrshabadoo7462]

The best friend was sleeping with him, if she was married I certainly couldn't blame _her_ husband for wanting to a paternity test...

[@manuelromero8837]

Gosh, sory 3 just breaks my heart.

[@BruinPhD2009]

Story 1: In situations like that, I just don’t understand the utter cruelty of people like the ‘husband.’ If you don’t want to be married, if you fall out of love, if the moon is suddenly made of green cheese, JUST GET A DIVORCE. Then you both can move on to the future you deserve, good, bad, or indifferent. Husband and Affair Partner deserve nothing but the worst in their futures.

[@Sneakk1799]

Back in the box haha… connors got you locked in ahahha. Good on you sheila..

[@rickjason215]

Story 2: I have been married longer than these people are alive. My wife has never put anyone ahead of me. You can't have a marriage any other way.

[@StaubAufDenKnochen]

Why do people get married to people they hate?

[@nyxx5357]

Fear of being alone. "We're married, so they can't leave me!"

[@thotimusprimeofficial273]

Story 3: I deeply appreciate op’s dedication to support and care for john, most people in his situation are forgotten or neglected due how people view the severely disabled as subhuman and therefore not needing the same social support as able people.

[@faciaw771]

"How the hell did it happened?" Dafuq? How old is this dude again?

[@jasmineflower1988]

Story 1. I knew it! I knew that friend was shady! Saying that the husband's concerns are valid? So many red flags in this story but that one solidified it for me that he was cheating. Sack off them hos. OP is better off without them.

[@geekemedia]

I need a final update from story 1 so bad

[@adriane8565]

Within 2 minutes of listening I already believe the man is a cheater who projecting his guilt onto her while low-key hoping he's right so he's not the bad guy anymore

[@TisOnlyAScratch]

1:02 - My answer to this question: You see dear. When a man and woman love each other very much, they hug and kiss passionately. Then one day a letter comes in the mail and says to the woman, "You hugged and kissed so well, a stork will deliver a baby to you in roughly 8 months after you receive this letter. Please prrpare for the Baby's arrival. Good Luck!"

[@Khiarika1]

13:09 Ohhhh! I love this! More women should have this in response to an abortion. it's no ones business and it's HER CHOICE> "The stress trauma and shock of the betrayal caused me to lose the baby....by forcing me to the closest abortion clinic.

[@beardpapa12]

I honestly wouldn't have the kid. To coparent with a cheater sounds like a crap life.

[@nelly2958]

S1: I wonder if husband is also lying the mistress and just likes playing both women

[@FlamesAndShadows]

Oh. Like ' Ew. I don't ever touch her. Gross. I love only you my cheating baby. My wife must be whoring around. No-no what we have is different. Anyway that baby can't possibly be mine. Pinkie promise!'?

[@nyxx5357]

I can almost guarantee it. He wants a baby with her? Really? I'm not buying it.

[@nightmare_jeanie]

I'm sorry, but that last story has broken me. My son is severely autistic. I've been working hard with him, and we've made some great improvements, but I am honestly terrified that I might have to place him in a care facility. I do not at all fault families for having to do this at any stage for any reason. I fully believe that you do what's best for yourself, your loved one, and your family, even if that means putting them in a facility. However, the thought terrifies me because of how terrible the care can be in places like that here in the US. These places have very little accountability and easily get out of trouble while taking severe advantage of the families/residents to profitize as much as possible. It's so grotesque. Many of them essentially dehumanize their residents and treat them poorly. I know there can be good ones out there, but I've also seen many, MANY bad ones. They keep them understaffed to decrease funding necessary, and it leads to accidents like John's that should have been preventable through basic first aid measures or equipment that should be present (like the Live Saver suction face mask, I will update with the name but we purchased one and have it in the middle of our house. It is better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it.) I hope OP finds peace. If that were my dying wish, I'd have made that person essentially the guardian of my child. That way, the person could move my child if, for any reason, it was necessary, which could include visitation access. However, that would be conversations I would have with said person and not a dying wish without clarification. OP did more than most could/would have done and I hope she knows that. Blessed be to her and her loved ones.

[@ayanaatthrivebewhole]

Sometimes, on KZbin and on the TV, the stories about people actually not being the fathers makes people think that it's a more common problem than it is. The stories that go viral, are because they are such extreme and wild cases. The reason why people in these situations end up on TV or on KZbin is because these are such extreme and wild stories, that people know will gain interest. Will gain interest. If you look at DNA diagnostic center, they say that 77% of their cases end up being the father. That is a DNA testing site. That means that people had suspicions enough to come in for testing in the first place, not regularl/average situations. And while 33% of those people not being the father is devastating to those who aren't, it still is not the majority of people who go in for DNA testing. The majority of people who go in for DNA testing turn out to actually be the fathers. People see these extreme cases, and start generalizing to all women and it turns into disrespectful and misogynistic. This belief, that all women are naturally untrustworthy is not okay.

[@averycheesypotato]

DNA testing would also be used in cases of lab mix ups, crimes, surrogacy matters, etc. The 1/3 number still isn’t an accurate measure of the prevalence of paternity fraud even when it’s just counting lab results. It is *definitely* not representative of the overall population

[@caridadchang7895]

Story 2: did we all notice how the former boss is a woman with a wife? Notice that little detail 😂

[@jmac5951]

QP with the ex-obsessed girlfriend--she is literally putting him in danger

[@Ohkay5613]

That danger is real, and gf knows it. That thrill is what she can't let go of. She was trying to set up a situation to have two men fight over her.

[@jmac5951]

@@Ohkay5613 Yup. He's well out of that situation

[@yadealone]

Story 3 See if his siblings can possibly find a place closer to where you are moving. Sounds like maybe his siblings don’t visit him because they don’t live close so that would be wonderful because she could still see and visit John.

[@jess-bo98]

I don't usually advocate for violence, but if that were me the "friend" and "husband" would be featured on dateline next week fr fr 😂

[@Mgeeza]

Friend saying the husbands concerns are valid is the friend calling the OP a likely cheater.

[@Ninsidhe]

I knew how *every beat* of this story was going to go, including the ‘John suddenly dies’ ending.

[@jm1670]

After listening to alot of these type of stories, I've come to the conclusion that boys need to pay more attention in biology and health classes.

[@ChiquitaBanana-si5qq]

17:45 if she doesn’t “ fawn” (play to his ego) she will NOT be allowed access to the kid. If he’s abusive, the kid needs someone looking out for them & she may feel like she’s abandoned the child. 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@nyxx5357]

That is not her child, though. It's very sad that they have an abusive father, but there's really not much she can do for them. She has no legal rights over them, so it's not like she can rescue them from their father. All she's doing is delaying the inevitable and hurting the child more by drawing out the goodbye.

[@anotherone1532]

Some people are just predisposed to screwing up their lives

[@kateajurors8640]

43:43 damn that comment about formative years and learning to take care of ones self

[@swilmer5640]

That last story had me in tears. I hope John has reunited with his parents. Just imagine OP had blown up her marriage and John had passed away... She did make the right choice, but that can not have been easy for her.

[@jemcrosbie]

Story 1: I’d send text to ‘friend’ saying that I had a routine STD test re pregnancy and that it has come back positive. He must be cheating on me and drs are advising that I have an HIV test too. But then again I’m a firm believer in the old adage of ‘don’t get mad, get even.’ They will have to out themselves and their affair.

[@ajzephyros7454]

Unless Husband had a vasectomy he should not be that sure it isn't his

[@wackyiv219]

Ngl I would've ended up on Dateline if I were in ops shoes in the first story 💀

[@robert4657]

Op don't argue just call a lawyer.

[@loganjoh1]

So he’s projecting his own cheating AND is an idiot

[@catsncrows]

And I was just going to sleep. Looks like I'm going to be up later. S1 you'd think by now with the big wide internet people would know by now that random cheating accusations are like wrapping oneself up in a red blanket (or flag if determined) and screaming "I'm cheating!!!" S2 I agree with the comments about people being addicted to being treated badly. Hello. Hi. Me. When I quit it the fight or flight state I lived in thawed and I put a lot of incidents with my family into context (instead of haha lol weird story) and I was 😬😬😬 damn that was dark af Edit typo lol I'm so tired

[@Bangbangshelly]

Don’t have a child with this man. You don’t want to be tied to him for the rest of your life, sharing custody. Having to watch him get together with your traitorous friend

[@carlrood4457]

This is clearly not the parents first rodeo with their daughter and this guy'

[@alsatful]

If you find out your friend is cheating with your lover you tell that friend that you have an STD thats incurable and say that you never cheated and he must have and say you have to go and watch the fireworks

[@tartlynerdy]

It's easier for these types of guys to accuse their partner of cheating rather than admit that they don't want to be a father. If he wanted to be childfree there were steps he could have taken to prevent this. He just sounds like a moron trying to make op look like the bad guy first before it gets out that he cheated and got someone else knocked up. Even if that's only half true I'm betting money he CHEATED. (I was right. I bet a lot of people in the comments felt really vindicated) This guy is so stupid. "I'd rather be with you instead of stuck with her". I'm going to be disappointed if she fell for that bullcrap. If he really wanted to be with her he would have LEFT OP FOR HER before op found out she was pregnant. I think he did this all on purpose because he'd have the excuse he can't commit to his girlfriend when his wife is expecting their first baby. He's been playing them both for a fool.

[@loganjoh1]

Story 2: wow that is some crazy mental gymnastics on the now ex’s part to project cheating onto OP

[@libertyblake873]

Story 1: we need more updates.

[@Starvingmetheartist]

I had an ex who would come crawling back because things were soooooo hard and this last time he invited me over (to sell me a game controller I needed), I knew what he wanted and I just told him for three hours how my life has been awesome and I'm in love with my then girlfriend and sometimes you just have to let people go (his wife had left him after his frankly appalling behavior) and I was happy to let him know this is his karma for how shitty he treated me. But I got to see his kitties and I got a controller and a coffee mug so I am the real winner here

[@themayhemofmadness7038]

“I still feel guilty about not putting enough work taking care of my disabled siblings (therefore putting the burden on my parents).” Anyone else suddenly feeling broken by that sentence? OP is saying it like he should be the only one responsible for her disabled siblings, and that her parents shouldn’t have had to take care of and responsibility for the two disabled children they had. This takes parentification to a whole new level with an epic amount of gaslighting, if OP honestly thinks they were solely her responsibility and not the responsibility of their, you know, *actual parents.*

[@FlamesAndShadows]

I love how my reply to someone saying it should be mandatory for women, of 'we need to come up with one to ensure men's fidelity as well' got hidden or reported minutes later. :/ Amazing double standarts

[@randomusername3873]

God forbid someone is not allowed to commit paternity fraud

[@rubymeaddle]

​@@randomusername3873 More men commit sexual assault than women commit paternity fraud, should we have mandatory DNA databases for all men?

[@shadowmuted-jg4ky]

Always get a paternity test with or without her permission. If you can't have 100% certainty, don't participate.

[@davidwebster3090]

Second Story. OP what makes you think that she isn't lying about the abuse? She may be the narcissist. If her ex was so bad why keep talking to her? People like her need to stay with their abusive partners so that they do not screw over good people. They deserve each other, because she is no better than her ex, and might even be worse .

[@yippycat5303]

IM SOBBING AT THE LAST ONE. It hurts so bad. Dang it. AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

[@josepherhardt164]

15:54 Ex-BF conveniently lives 17 hours away? Why am I already smelling subterfuge?

[@Jasonfallen71]

“You’re not helping your case, bub!” - says the man to the wife after demanding she get a paternity test 😳

[@ostaviahylton2581]

The John story broke my heart into millions of pieces. I’m a care taker and understand how she feels. 😢

[@nimisilverbird1239]

Take that evidence and keep it. Use it in divorce court and family court. Sue him and your friend.

[@thelifeandbreathofsamantha9878]

I wonder if she could hire someone to go visit Jon and FaceTime her until she figures out the legal ramifications of moving him

[@photoflo78]

Good morning, good afternoon, goodnight ❤❤

[@develyntwocentshenderson5739]

#2. send em packing. she's putting OP at risk now. good for him leaving.

[@peachybrains4560]

Omg the last story got me! I don’t know why but water 💦 is leaking from my eyes. So weird

[@MsStrangeEmilie]

Does he know how babies are made?

[@nimisilverbird1239]

Nta. He has been cheating and his side chick already has kids bybher and cannot afford more. If he didn't want kids he should have wrapped it. He failed 5th grade science didn't he. Have the baby or not. Take the test or not. Either way leave him