I Am Not One - Documentary about Dissociative Identity Disorder

A Documentary film that uses visual effects, animations and recreation in order to depict the experiences of two women coming to terms with the knowledge that they have got Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), formerly known as Multiple Personality Disorder, and the discovery of where the condition stems from.
Very big thank you's to Sarah Lake, Melanie Goodwin and Lettie Furgusson.
Final edit of Graduation film for Norwich University of the Arts.

[@Themaskedprincess]

This is the only video on DID that I feel captures my experience. Not focusing on alters but on the fact it is a trauma disorder

[@HellaKittyGoneBad]

I agree

[@angiegamez8600]

Well, i have DID, and when you said about: 'Trust, your safe here, then really bad things happen', it triggered a flashback to elementary school and now i'm crying, but it's OK, ill be OK. Edit: this is one of the best videos I've ever seen about what it's like, thank you

[@akelly1317]

Hey Warrior, I'm really sorry that the video triggered you, I hope your system wasn't too shaken up. I will look up a way to add a trigger warning to the video for future viewers. Seen your edit though - thanks for sharing the positive afterthought, I'm glad it wasn't all bad

[@ParanormalNewsToday]

Just found out myself. I thought everyone heard them as part of their internal dialogue. Turns out... I was wrong. And yes, the body remembers... and I don't want it to. /hugs across time and distance

[@mysteryrex5445]

so u has a split personality too? wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow i do toooooooooo

[@Skoje33]

I've been looking at videos about my disorder to see if the way it affects me is "normal". There are many inconsistencies, but it's different for everyone. This video felt the most similar to what has happened with me and the others. I'm very impressed with the accuracy expressed here.

[@my_dream3558]

Can u like tell me your experience

[@my_dream3558]

I'm working on an articles, would feel blessed to get your case studies

[@cryschanel32]

@@my_dream3558 You can message me on Instagram if you have questions relating to DID experiences. I'm dying to see some quality, informed representation. I hid from my diagnosis for the first 5yrs, because the only representation I had to compare myself to were horror movie monsters. I thought I had better enjoy whatever life I had left before I turned into a murdery villain, and that I'd eventually lose everything - kid, wife, career, friends....it was a lonely, terrifying existence. @CrysChanel32

[@sapphier0soldier]

Woah! The dissociation symptoms described in the beginning are exactly how I experience them - like looking through either end of a telescope. I've never heard anyone else who described it like that, so I thought we all have different experiences but everything she said is spot-on. How cool that someone experiences DID like me! It would be so amazing to talk to this person (system) to compare my experiences and maybe learn a thing or two.

[@Monette7812]

To wake up one day and realize that the life I had remembered was only a very small part of my real reality. Being told I have every disorder known to man but never told I have DID. I had to wake up to this reality on my own, being traumatized starting around a young age then constantly traumatized and gangstalked throughout my life. Different identities had formed so I could make it through all that has happened. Thank the Lord for DID...I would've survived otherwise.

[@randomgaygirl]

At least she still has all her 'personalities' and actually consciously knows about them. Mine are hidden/blocked because it wasn't safe to show some parts of myself, only the part that was socially 'accepted' by my surroundings.. recovering from abuse is hard tho

[@ethan_the_alien]

Very relatable to me as well! Especially about only being able to show parts that were "socially acceptable" to show to other. I'm still trying to figure out who my alters are. If it helps you feel any better, your experience is actually the more common experience, at least so I'm told myself. I know this comment is 2 years old, and you are likely further along in your recovery, but I wanted to respond anyway. Your comment put into words something I've struggled to really put into words for a while. :)

[@LongSoulSystem]

Thank you for making a documentary about this disorder :)

[@imageryofsound]

A well layed out documentary that I hope breaks the stigma of having this diagnosed

[@powertotheplurals]

Thank you for making this very good documentary and helping us break the stigma on this so often misunderstood diagnosis.

[@LanternSkyy]

This is a brilliant documentary. Well done and thank you for sharing some true realities of DID.

[@fienevandijk7224]

I have seen your KZbin channel

[@vanessaholbrow3162]

Thank you for this documentary. Remarkably well done. I received diagnosis first week of first lock down 2020 aged 50 having spent nearly 3 decades misdiagnosed under care of mental health system . Passionate to raise awareness & to help towards preventing others going down a similar path of survival. This documentary inspires me to pursue in gaining treatment within the NHS & in doing so to perhaps help change misconceptions about DID ❤️

[@franceslarsen3172]

twinstar9 Maybe not every dissociative person is a "genius" but it has been studied and found that most people who develop this condition have a higher level of intelligence, as it is required for the complex maneuvering and coping and developing of the multi-layered inner system.

[@khappy1286]

Frances Larsen yes. Very true satistic. I have DID. Ate age 45 after not being in school for 20 yrs. I got a grant to a national fitness school. On the Anatomy final i set an academic record net set b4 in the 8 yr history of the school. When they tpld me i got in my car and drove home the 90minute drive i cried my eyrs out all the way because i didnt understand how i even took the test. Felt like i was in 1st grade. This is not the 1st time out of nowhere i ended up getting recognition for high academia- when i barely studied.

[@khappy1286]

Not exactly. It is a personality disorder that forms when the personality is not yet formed-- even preverbal-- in most people who have it before age 7. It is a maladaptive personality disorder of survival. Many DIDers dont yet have the imagination to create what happens.

[@System_Spark]

⁠@@khappy1286it’s a dissociative disorder. It is not a personality disorder.

[@novembersky1821]

I wish I could share this with the people around me. ❤️ They would not understand 😔 Thank you. The more you know about yourself the less crazier you feel ✌🏾💆🏾

[@angiegamez8600]

I understand, i know it all too well, and now there is one more person who understands me :)

[@mysteryrex5445]

i understand too i have 29 personalities that i know of and its only been 3 months since i discovered i had it ehhhhhhhhhh

[@SoftxBunny]

@@mysteryrex5445 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@steeleamgamer6203]

my son has this disorder he was molested for years and has at least 8 alters now I am trying to hold on and be strong for hi, since he has become faceless through opening so many doors of his persons who come to represent him when he is afraid or confused but this gave me the understanding I needed to conform his aunt was abusing him earlier than my son remembers deep and sad my heart goes out to this who are going through this same diagnosis .

[@khappy1286]

Aaron Mcdowell take heart. Hold fast. Have faith in God. I had nine. Now I am 3. My life is so much better. Dr Roger Boehm was my therapist. He is in Georgia or Florida UDA. He does skype too. He is very gifted and gentle. God bless you and your son.

[@moonlitxangel5771]

One thing I might recommend is seeing if you can find systems on KZbin. :) I know of a couple educational channels about DID (DissociaDID and The Entropy System). Both are women, but they both have educational content about DID that you might find helpful or interesting or even that your son might find helpful.

[@wired4933]

Bless your son. DID helps you survive and hide yourself from the cruelty in the world. He is very brave and a strong person, all the best for him. There are many lovely communities for people with DID, maybe that can help him. We are part of a very safe and lovely discord community.

[@mysteryrex5445]

DID doesn't suck , I talk to my alters too much though... bless your son he'll be okay

[@carlythe80s]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/h2PLZ5yenKl2lc0

[@twitch6260]

From one system to another, this is a fantastic video. A lot more relatable than just explaining the disorder while sitting in front of a camera. Stay strong and remember that you are worthy of all the love in the universe.

[@lsweet222]

Brilliant documentary 💖 I wish it was longer

[@andersonsystem2]

We are a DID system we understand this very well.

[@franceslarsen3172]

twinstar9 There are multiple ego states. Not aspects of one '"self," more like multiple selves sharing the same body. Ok, not multiple "people," if that helps you, but definitely multiple selves/ego states/intact identities The brain actually lights up differently when an alter comes out. Physiologically visible on a brain scan. People have different glasses prescription, one may have an allergy that another does not have.

[@khappy1286]

Frances Larsen different people

[@angiegamez8600]

Frances Larsen, well said

[@claireb6543]

This is probably the best description I’ve read so far. Our body definitely has different prescriptions and allergies, as well as different clothing styles, handwriting, etc

[@quiteaware333]

This is a good representation.

[@phil1522]

Wish there was more to this documentary. I cried a good cry and smiled too.

[@user-mr7kq9ty4c]

when we heard the yelling my protector came out and was like, “the hell we watchin’?”😂

[@AzureAsher]

I came out as a protector cuz of the yelling things too lol - Bianca

[@hybridhealing832]

Very beautiful thank you ❤ it's not easy to describe but I feel this can give a lot of insights in a rather short amount of time. Gonna share it for sure and I'll look forward to more on your chan ^_^

[@KK-gg9hx]

This is probably more accurate to the feeling of trying to live with DID, cocon or not. Meet the alters videos are great but this one feels..off and frustrating. ..like DID. Im sure for people without DID it's meh but the tone of it feels right. I wonder what percentage of us just really would rather die and should be granted that right.

[@rayanwilson2048]

OMG I have this. It's terrifying. Thank you for posting this.

[@AkiWasHere]

Yeah,very well done, i myself have DID.

[@ollieollieollieeee8727]

So do i, but I've only found out about my system, the stuff she was saying about her vision at the start, it doesn't happen to us, does it happen to you?

[@cryschanel32]

@@ollieollieollieeee8727 My parts are their own individuals, and most (perhaps all, still discovering) have been here since I was a little kid. Two of them I remember as far back as when we were toddlers. Alters can show up even into adulthood (granted you are already a multiple since childhood). This can be part of the dissociative coping techniques a DID brain has developed.

[@cryschanel32]

I always thought they were those inner monologues people talk about, and that everyone's brains were like mine.

[@cryschanel32]

@@ollieollieollieeee8727 I'd also recommend checking out Multiplicity and Me, as well as the Entropy System on KZbin. Fantastic resources, and helped me immensely. I'm on Instagram @CrysChanel32 if you'd like more resources, I'm happy to send them.

[@vedatasmin8702]

Am so sorry love...may God help through

[@DelaneyB.444]

This is terrific!

[@transcousin]

All these things you said is happening to me and my therapist is questioning us being a system

[@Girlsplaybass]

Brilliant! I want to see more please!

[@ideasofmind38]

the body feels opposite to mind in childhood causes it, the matter is what first.

[@kurtzubatiuk9205]

Lovely short film.

[@melcaa6361]

Thank you for making this! - host

[@freedomgrrrl3263]

The diagrams are an excellent way to convey the altar it works really really well nice video thank you so much

[@delsongalasinao706]

I have did my self .thanks for this video.

[@FirefliesMulti]

I wish this had a trigger warning on it... it's very hard to watch with out switching. Can you please consider adding one?

[@Janiyah-Tucker]

Yeah..-Tom

[@multiplecuriosity2469]

thank you

[@franceslarsen3172]

K Happy Wow, that is very interesting... then you should know very well about Grantley's take on superior intelligence.

[@franceslarsen3172]

K Happy Wow, thank you for sharing on here. I pray the best for you and your system:)

[@gcf7175]

This fuckin shit is real. It fuckin happened to my fuckin auntie, fucker.

[@twinstar9]

Horrible overlay of "music."

[@tashaneuhaus]

twinstar9 agreed Usch

[@marief3007]

❤

[@franceslarsen3172]

K Happy I disagree with you, I was told this by a psychologist who worked with many victims from up in Michigan of SRA, he had seen much DID, and also a website called NetBurst . The man has a ton of info and I just don't concur with what you're saying. Even if something is preverbal, the intellect has been determined by the DNA.

[@khappy1286]

I work w netburst the past 7 years.

[@khappy1286]

I am not sure what comment of mine you were referring to. I dont see your comment attached to any of mine. But i do work with netburst. Brilliant site.

[@mojosbigsticks]

I still find it very hard to believe this. There's such a spilt in the two sides of the argument; those who describe this as DID and those who see it as a variant of another condition. There seems no consensus, and I find that confusing.

[@music0cool]

Mojos Bigstick DID is definitely a complex disorder, and it does share symptoms with other disorders, as most illnesses do (physical and mental). It takes a lot of studying and training to understand and recognize the difference. It is definitely a real disorder though. A very tragic one.

[@khappy1286]

Mojos Bigstick. Hete is a consensus. I have lived w this for 5 decades. I am 85 percent integrated. I was a normally functioning child- awards in school, popular, award winning teen model, writer, good child. My symptoms showed up ( came out of hiding ) in my early 20s. Had ptsd severly. Was diagnosed at 45 w DID- suddenly my past made sense. W 5 years of attention to healing all of me integration has bern successful. Thi disorder is a nightmare- a living nightmare- and it is very very real. It took everything away from a very bright successful girl. No one wants this.

[@AzureAsher]

DID is a complex mental disorder. It doesn’t show up as one single thing between different systems sometimes, but it doesn’t mean it’s not a real thing. I’m an alter in a system and we are very real. - Bianca

[@imonphukan2142]

People that suffer trauma at early age they make their own imagery family to stay with n its stupidity cz it's only in the brain when same person thinks themselves playing different roles

[@xavierquinn5215]

It happens subconsciously while the brain is developing. It's a lot like how someone learning a language as a baby is a lot different than someone trying to learn it as an adult. It completely restructures the brain in a permanent way. The brain subconsciously learns a new way to experience it's own identity in a sometimes permanent way, much like it would be very difficult to unlearn your native language.

[@GhostlyyGames]

Think of it as fight or flight kicking in. If you are in a situation where it occurs, and you can't fight OR flight, your brain opts for another way to cope. A part of your conciousness literally splits off to hold those memories and keep the rest of the brain safe.

[@ash_and_lavender]

It’s not “stupidity” it’s a medical situation that has had research. It’s not a new thing, they just didn’t know how to categorize it or name it until about the 80’s. A child unintentionally develops a piece of themself to handle the trauma or pain they’re experiencing instead of “themself” in order to remove themself from the situation. Because of this, the mind fragments aspects of your personality. Not always so separately, like this case, but still fragmented

[@angiegamez8600]

Thank you Muslimade

[@sarastaniszewski]

this is a really ignorant comment with no basis in reality. they didn’t create their own imaginary people, these are people who at an early age were subjected to such severe, repeated, inescapable trauma that their brain dissociated and sent in a different fragment of consciousness to replace them.. to survive. DID isn’t even a disorder really, it’s a very sophisticated survival mechanism. and unfortunately once the brain is wired that way, that’s how it is, that’s how it deals with trauma from then on out. unless you experienced this, you have no place to say they are “imaginary” 🙄 it’s an incredible flight or fight response, that can literally only occur before a certain age because after ages 7-9, our personalities integrate, theirs don’t, because they now need those personalities to protect them from things that had happened to them that they are unable to cope with. you should educate yourself before making dumb comments.