‘I’d Never Date a Bisexual’

[@RedDeadSakharine]

I dated a "nice guy" once. He was nice *to me*, so I didn't realize at first, but when I saw him being an absolutely mad racist towards some immigrants, I broke up with him. He continued to send me insulting messages with burner accounts on social media for over TEN years. Absolutely unhinged. If you have to *act* nice and only do it to conform, instead of actually being nice because it feels right and good and comes naturally, then you're not actually nice. You're pretending. (bonus funny, because he tried to insult me with "I'm dating a REAL woman now" after getting a new girlfriend.... I'm ftm 🙃)

[@AstronomicalJelly]

you to him for affirming your gender at least?

[@cathleenc6943]

Glad you found out reasonably early. My ex-husband was much better at pretending, and when I finally woke up to how badly I was being manipulated and gaslit, among other things, I started arranging to leave him. He tried and tried to convince me to stay and one time when I was calling him out for his problematic behavior that he had been hiding for years I had basically told him that I realized now that this was his true personality and the rest was all lies, and he responded with "I thought that if I showed you who I really was, you wouldn't like me." No, I wouldn't have. He was absolutely right about that.

[@Magnocalabro]

"Sending insulting messages with burner accounts on social media for over TEN years." is a criminal offence (cyberbullying / cyberstalking / molestations through repeated persecutory acts). Didn't you report him?

[@davidestabrook5367]

Your experience is common, but it shouldn't be. I'm so sorry your racist ex harassed you. I really wish kids would have good education on how to ask people out, how to turn someone down, and how to have secure and healthy relationship. There really needs to be additional sex education for teens and adults, as so many people just didn't get the message.

[@MsVilecat]

​@@MagnocalabroUnfortunately it's very rare for cyberstalking to be taken as seriously as "in-person" stalking.

[@rustkitty]

"You're a whre. Which is why I treat you like one and talk to you like one." Ew, no. You should treat a sex worker (and any other service worker in general) decently and with basic dignity.

[@tryingnot2bdumb]

exactly!

[@jospinner1183]

Precisely. Service workers are treated terribly by society, but that's a _bad_ thing.

[@KFoxtheGreat]

The "sup slut" one reminded me of an interaction with a friend who is actually a lovely and respectful man. We'll call him John too keep this less confusing. One time in college, my roommate (Jay) and I (both women) were hanging out with John's roommate (another pretty cool guy) when John busted in and said "what's up b*tches?" Realized it wasn't the full group of friends he was expecting and quickly tacked on "and Jay and K Fox." It was funny in the moment, but his addition just to make sure he wasn't calling myself or my roommate b*tches solidified him as a good person in my book

[@BagelEnjoyer]

Shoutouts to John frfr

[@Insertia_Nameia]

Like there is probably only two guys I've been close enough to that could greet me that way and I knew it wasn't disrespectful (they also dont call other women that are random.) But I say the same stuff to them and they're okay with it. Note: one of them is my big brother which is why we can mess with each other like that so easily. Not including him, there's only one.

[@ErutaniaRose]

I love this. Iconic behaviour.

[@stargalaxy9458]

It's very ironic that they use derogatory terms for sexually active/promiscuous women to insult women who won't be sexual with them. I feel like a good response would be something like "you're calling me a hoe for not taking an opportunity to get some? That seems a little backwards; are you projecting your feelings?"

[@KossolaxtheForesworn]

obviously they are projecting their frustration due to their inability to get better and change. to them the biggest humiliation is that women dont want to be with them that way but would choose other guys. but never does it connect that the reason they are choosing these other guys is not because women are shallow and want the 666, but rather because they them selves are a total pos. nah, better blame the imaginary chad and call women hoes than to leave r/incels.

[@christopherb501]

I don't know; these are the same idiots that assume _asexual_ awareness is inappropriate.

[@illegallynamed]

EXACTLY! It makes zero sense!

[@JazniaDraw]

Yeah i always thought it was weird, cause if anything, nice guys™ should be using 'chaste' or 'frigid' as insults, but their logic is "woman don't wanna date me=she is a ho who sleeps with every guy but nice guys cause she's a manipulator who likes to be abused" so for them using derogatory terms for promiscuous women is right (when it's not)

[@LatajaceStadoKotow]

@stargalaxy9458 as a man who suffered from unrequited love a couple of times, to me, it just shows someone's shitty character. Sure, I was sometimes frustrated, sometimes angry, mostly sad when rejected. But how is me getting rejected making the girl a hoe? It's the ultimate sour grapes to insult someone you were just after. People are lashing out and lying to themselves to protect their egos from humiliation of rejection, but lashing out in such a transparently stupid way is more humiliating.

[@stephanie_jjb]

The amount of people who can't wrap their head around the fact that the reason women would choose the bear is because bears are statistically less likely to attack them and not that a man can beat a bear in a fight is baffling

[@SomeoneIusedtoknow-s1f]

The amount of men who also immediately say "women hate all men even truly good guys!" And completely miss the point that if you're truly a good guy then you know it's not about you and thus why would you get upset lmao. "So many guys hurt women, so many men in various studies and surveys admit they'd rape or otherwise hurt us if they could get off free!" "Yeah but not all of us are evil...." Like damn bruh, you so hurt by my statement you can't even remotely understand good guys aren't the guys we're worried about? Also so many guys, SO MANY have then attacked women who DO support the guys side. Like way to prove you're so good, rape jokes, showing us that you think about men raping us, showing us that you want to "show us a lesson" all of these things proves how many dudes who got offended are absolutely right to be feared lmao.

[@RainbyFIN]

There's also plenty of men who understand it's bc women are more scared of what the hypothetical stranger man would do than a bear, but not *why*. And then just get mad because "why do women trust a bear more than they would me, a nice guy, I haven't done anything to women why are they afraid of me in this hypothetical scene, I'm being oppressed :(" 🙄 They take it way too personally

[@stephanie_jjb]

@RainbyFIN I've recently decided that i'm going to call myself a bear's rights activist, Not all bears attack people. Have you ever considered that maybe what you were wearing made the bear more likely to attack you?

[@nemesis.astolfo]

Well sure it's statically accurate but it's not like most women are around bears to have an attack happen. But I do understand the debate

[@dietotaku]

@@nemesis.astolfo it's also about predictability. like if you go into the woods, you expect to see a bear, and you know what to do to avoid a bear attack. if you run across a man, alone, IN THE WOODS? 98% chance you just stumbled across a serial killer and you're about to become his next victim, and nothing you can do to change that.

[@fallenking578]

I wish "nice" guys would just date each other and leave everyone else alone

[@alicebthegachaweirdo8378]

Lol

[@SomeoneIusedtoknow-s1f]

Literally. So many of them are so desperate for sex, if that's all they want from women then why not join up with equally desperate dudes?

[@Cinnamonraisin_Bagel]

"nice guys" and "nice girls" should date is well it'd clean up some of the bad people in the dating world, and "nice girls" and "nice girls" too and "nice guys and nice guys"

[@mincrafter424]

you are funny🙂👍,good comment 👍

[@christopherb501]

Ditto the "not like other girls".

[@terra4686]

the thing with AITA posts that ive seen, is that ones that have completely unhinged titles (like "AITA for poisoning my family") will be someone completely and undoubtedly in the right, with justified actions, and something with a relatively normal title (like "AITA for complimenting a cashier" in this video) will be about an absolutely detestable person doing unspeakable things

[@waffles3629]

Yep. You can almost always guess from the title, cause the assholes don't think they are assholes, and the not assholes are looking for reassurance they aren't because they are being gaslit. Like it can be "AITA for saving a kids life?", and it turns out they snatched a kid out of their parents arms because the couldn't believe a black man could be a father (actual one I read, don't remember the exact title). Meanwhile "AITA for flooding my parents house?" turns out to be someone who started filling the tub to take a bath, decided to grab the mail quick, had a first ever seizure in the front lawn, and came to in the hospital after a neighbor called 911.

[@AgaricFinn]

This whole video hurt a lot more than I was expecting. Almost every cis man in my family has this mentality that they’re just so nice and women are all just horrible (slurs) and that they’re the real victims. And as an exmormon trans guys, the “For The Strength of Youth” hit a little to close to home…I remember those horrible “Women’s Responsibility” lessons and wanting to vomit. I remember feeling like if I ever had ANY standards for dating a man that I was a horrible human being. And while I’m still in contact with my family, I’m thankful to say that I managed to leave that cult known as “The Church of Jesus Christ of Laterday Saints” (aka the Mormon Church)

[@Grimeowldi]

Former Mormon trans brother here. "For the Youth" events sure were... well, they happened anyway :/ high five for escaping and learning how to thrive instead of just survive

[@SnowDragon_2204]

as a fellow exmormon trans guy: i completely get it. it’s REPULSIVE to think about 😭

[@dutchvanl]

Whenever I hear, "why are so many women dating toxic men instead of ME a nice guy?" I honestly just assume that these women are NOT in fact dating toxic abusers, but are just happy in committed relationships and these guys are labeling anyone already dating the woman they're pursuing as a villain. Nice guys aren't exactly reliable narrators.

[@waffles3629]

Yep. I've had Nice Guys™ try to convince me "to just break up with your boyfriend because he doesn't love you, but I'm a real man and I'll treat you the way girls should be treated". Problem 1- I've never had a boyfriend, I can't end a relationship type I've never had, I do have a really awesome girlfriend though. Problem 2- I'm an adult, so not a girl regardless of gender (anyone who uses girl and man together is a red flag), also I'm non-binary so not a woman either

[@jospinner1183]

Precisely. Most of the time the Nice Guy is just _assuming_ that the woman's partner must be a toxic man, despite the myriad reasons she's not into the Nice Guy: 1. She's not into men at all. 2. She's happily single and prefers to stay that way. 3. Her male partner is neither toxic nor an abuser in any way and treats her like a human being (instead of a sex vending machine). 4. Her male partner is brusque toward other men but is a wonderful, sweet, man to his female partner. 5. She's just not into the Nice Guy. I've personally had all of these as valid reasons at various points in my life. (While I'm technically bisexual, I really only date women anymore. Does that make me sexist?)

[@amethystimagination3332]

The logic behind it is “ the other guy is an asshole because he has the toy I want. Women are objects, I want that one and he’s keeping it away from me”

[@dutchvanl]

@@amethystimagination3332 Yup. It's Main Character Syndrome. I'm the Main Character in my story and he is keeping me from my Life Goal, so he must be The Villain and she must be The Damsel. Everyone has nice, tidy labels that cast me in a positive light.

[@silkwesir1444]

@@waffles3629 "anyone who uses girl and man together is a red flag" it's more of a culture and language thing though, I would not put it on the individual... Only if they are aware of it but still don't see a reason to try to change their language.

[@RurikDankil]

When I was a teenager I was slipping down that incel pipeline (before incel was a known thing.) Thankfully I was put off by the abuse tactics these "pick up artists" said I should use. And one thing I realized is that just being kind to everyone in general is more satisfying than constantly looking for someone to date. It lets me have good conversations and leave someone with a better day (hopefully.) And it's much less stressful than obsessing over my relationship status.

[@AD-dg3zz]

fr I often wonder why they even need a girlfriend in particular. If they're lonely, why not put that effort toward making new friends and bonding with people over shared interests? Why does it need to be a girlfriend? She's not going to solve all your problems. It almost seems more like a way for insecure guys to affirm their masculinity than anything else.

[@RurikDankil]

@@AD-dg3zz culture plays a lot into it. My whole life when any girl talked to me my dad insisted that they were flirting, because that's the only reason a girl would talk to a guy. (He still does this by the way) And in the church I was raised in if you weren't ready to be married by 20 they moved you to a special ward with only single people to give you special help. And at my age people consider me a lost cause (I left that church a long time ago, but they still consider me a lost cause.) And a single friend of mine insists the scam taking all his money is him not giving up hope yet. There's such a culture of having to be in a relationship in my area that it basically forces that mindset in people. And when you spend so long trying to get in a relationship any rejection becomes a personal attack.

[@pablopereyra7126]

Plus, being kind to everyone (instead of using these "pick up tactics") is WAY more likely to make people want to approach and talk with you, which ironically makes it easier to find someone to date. Shocker, I know

[@cathleenc6943]

That's awesome. For a long time I always said there was a problem with people who go on about "I want a girlfriend," or, "I want a boyfriend." Because they want someone to fill an empty spot and care about that more than they care about the person they're trying to date. I always thought it would be a better idea to just make friends and enjoy socializing, and if you come across someone you really click with, then it's not that you want 'a girlfriend™️' it's that you want to date *her* . Being on a girlfriend seeking mission constantly not only seems exhausting, but also is going to be a red flag and turn-off, because you focus so much on succeeding in the mission of *getting a girlfriend* that you've stopped treating women like people, getting to know them, and being someone that others would want to date. Good job on having the decency and self-awareness to reject the incel propaganda.

[@animeartist888]

@@cathleenc6943 Louder for the people in the back! The "friend zone" doesn't exist- in fact, I never wanted to date any guys that I didn't know as a friend at least a little first. Why? Because it would quickly weed out the "nice guys" when they wouldn't take "I'd rather know you a little better first" as an answer. I married my best friend, and honestly it's amazing. We got to skip all the awkward first dates trying to mine for information without being creepy or coming on too strong. Our "dates" nowadays usually involve playing a co-op video game together or watching an anime together. Because we already knew we had those things in common before we started dating.

[@supermangarritano6636]

I’m a trans guy ,who’s with a cis pansexual woman. I’ve never been happier.

[@23x71i]

Aww- this is so sweet!! 😭

[@akariaTXreaper]

I'm a trans girl, who's with a cis pansexual guy, and I've never been happier either. It's always good to find others with similar/flipped experiences :3

[@someoneawesome8717]

Good for you!

[@chesh1rek1tten]

Trans guy with a cis pansexual guy 😅 This seems to be the post collecting trans peeps dating cis pan peeps 🎉

[@trvgschluss]

I'm a trans man and I was* with a cis pansexual guy and despite the last four years being rough, I loved him and every minute I spent with him. We met when I was still questioning and he was my biggest supporter and the first person I came out to. *'was' because (TW:Death) ... ... he unexpectedly passed away almost two months ago. I'm still pretty much in shock. I wish everyone in this thread a happy, loving and (if wanted) long lasting relationship. Stay safe.

[@erics6125]

That 'Dance Card' one is from the Mormon church. When they say "remember your standards" they don't mean to remember the standards you chose for yourself, they mean to remember the standards the church has assigned to you.

[@dutchvanl]

Lol, should say "remember your standard." 1) Is church guy? End of standards. 😂😂

[@silkwesir1444]

so they put the letter "y" in that phrase accidentally?

[@Vampslayer815]

"For the Strenght of Youth" is a youth pamphlet for the LDS church (Mormon church). Jamie, you started reading it and I knew it sounded familiar! Yeah, that whole thing is harmful and still fucks me up to this day. 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈

[@bleepblo]

There a bit of a cult

[@Vampslayer815]

@@bleepblo it hits all the qualifications for the BITE Model, so more than a little bit of a cult. And there's clear documentation of their lies. But regardless of if it's a cult or if "the church is true" it is harmful, especially to lgbtqia folks, women, and POC

[@gennevieve6969]

Too bad my husband wasn’t on any event where this was used. He’d make sure to follow all those rules lol

[@Hilla3of5]

For the Strength of Youth is so full of mixed messages. Especially for young women and girls. Inevitably causing shame at some point for pretty much anyone. Not sad that I can do my best to ignore it now.

[@S0ng_b3rd]

Feel that. That church fills lgbt+ people with self hatred

[@tanithetiger]

The 58yo giving off all the red flags despite the fact that we know he's putting himself in the best possible light is TERRIFYING

[@lynnalu]

How can he live for 58 years on this Earth, and think that ANY part of his story was acceptable? It was, at best, inappropriate, and at worst, creepy and borderline illegal. Dude, have you been living under a fucking rock???

[@shadowldrago]

Nice Guys(TM) make me so glad I'm AroAce.

[@randomnumber27]

I'm suspecting that I'm aroace that wants a romantic relationship (hence my bf) and I'm glad he's not a Nice Guy (TM)

[@shadowldrago]

@@randomnumber27 I'm happy for you both.

[@starscreamthecruel8026]

Me too \m/

[@JoULove]

Same

[@LatajaceStadoKotow]

You mean autistic or/and low libido?

[@Vililu]

The post of the guy with a boat was going wrong, but when I read that he was 58, it was like oh man how could you make this worst 💀

[@_havanAA]

I had to do a double take when i heard that 💀

[@jenniferbelveal4331]

ThE iMpLiCaTiOn!!!!!!!!!

[@deezkneez7904]

28:48 this *glorious* article is part of the Strength of Youth, which is this *lovely* handbook that I grew up with, that basically outlines how to be a good Mormon kid, and how to make sure you learn to be a good Mormon adult. (It's dumb af). I'm assuming this particular piece is referring to what is generally called Church Dances, where from the ages of 14 - 18, all youth are expected to attend these events, co-ed, as a way of "practicing to be perfect spouse material" and to "network and meet others of similar faith", but you're not allowed to date until you're 16. So basically, they're like, you can't date until you're 16, but we're gonna make a bunch of 14 year olds come to these events that are geared toward teenage romance, and also tell the girls that they aren't allowed to turn any one down. I remember at my first church dance, this kid that always made me uncomfortable asked me to dance, and I politely declined, making up an excuse about having already promised that dance (then desperately asked my brothers friend to dance with me to keep the creep away lol), but the kid went and told one of the church leaders in attendance, that I had declined, and next thing I knew, the Young Women's President and the Bishop were over "giving me advice" about things like "you can't be too picky" and "you have to learn to get to know people before turning them down" and "you'll never find someone to marry if you can't even dance with this good Mormon boy" (completely ignoring the fact that everyone thought he was a creep). Ironically, it was also at that dance that I had my first dance with a girl and realized I might not be totally straight, which eventually led to my leaving the church lol. TLDR; this pamphlet is from The Strength of Youth, which is supposed to teach Mormon teens how to behave and be Mormon. Basically the Mormon teenager rule book. Good times.

[@BiggerinRealLife]

You, my friend, will love this story from my one time attending seminary with Mormon friends in high school. I’m there with my friends and they’re covering “boundaries in dating” (🙄🙄🙄 read: Mormon sex ed) and one of my several friends that were there asked “how far was ‘too far’ to go?” and we’re all silently snickering because we know she’s dating Jeff, Christian (like I was at the time) but Not Mormon and they were definitely past whatever we knew this teacher lady was going to say. She looked right at the girl who asked, and said with a full-on dead-ass straight face, “Even kissing is too far, because it’s an upper persuasion for a lower invasion.” Full answer. Full stop. Zero irony. I excused myself to the bathroom because I couldn’t keep from laughing. Oh, and my friend looked absolutely crushed. 😂

[@deezkneez7904]

@@BiggerinRealLife yeah the dating rules are wilddddd. You can't date until you're 16, when you do start dating, you are never allowed to be with anyone alone (leads to lots of awkward af group dates), then you're expected to be married almost immediately after the missionary of the relationship gets home at 20. So basically, no dating till 16, no being alone with anyone who could be a romantic interest, no sex until marriage, but you're expected to be happily married at 20, immediately start popping out kids, and divorce is superrrrr frowned upon, bc this totally seems like the recipe for a healthy relationship. Mormonism is insane idk how tf I survived it for so long lol

[@holacasita1979]

I had a fight with my parents at 15, wanting to date someone; that was a few years ago and I haven't been interested in dating at all since, and they don't like it but I feel like it was just the expectation at first? I don't understand, you CANT have a bf/gf but you HAVE to date and dance and be ready for marriage. I will never understand

[@waffles3629]

​@@BiggerinRealLife lower invasion? What the..... Also that so gives it a totally different connotation.

[@pungetello]

This week in Made-Up Stories on the Internet...

[@zakuraRabbit]

"I am picky because I am spoiled." "Not even an ugly girl liked my profile." That's not really adding up is it...

[@zaragozagrace4389]

The way these people notice that the women they are talking to are uncomfortable or even anxious but they do not back off or apologise!

[@silkwesir1444]

well, I know what you mean, but I think you have not expressed it very well. Think of the reverse situation, when it is consensual: a certain awkwardness and anxiety are a well known aspect of flirtatious behavior for most participants, it kinda is even part of the thrill...

[@PokhrajRoy.]

When I was growing up, ‘Man vs Bear’ used to mean Bear Grylls doing something wild and wacky.

[@dutchvanl]

... Wasn't that Man vs Wild?

[@PokhrajRoy.]

@@dutchvanl Yes (but I made it up for the joke)

[@dutchvanl]

@@PokhrajRoy. Lol, okay I thought I was having one of those Mandela Effect moments for a minute there.

[@spagooglio7]

Real

[@BiggerinRealLife]

HONESTLY.

[@RowanNagy97]

I wonder if nice guys are ever gonna realize that the actual reason women don't like them is because they won't stop talking about how women don't like them, it's a self-fulfilling prophecy.

[@silverghostcat1924]

I doubt it, most "nice guys" don't seem very self aware.

[@BiggerinRealLife]

Women know if other women stay away, they should stay away.

[@gorkemaykut5230]

It's not always like that tho Once I had a nice guy in my dm trying to convince me by saying things like other girls love him and could find anyone they want if they were to do so but for some reason we had a special connection so he didn't want to go for anyone else We never met and he never heard my voice btw but he was convinced

[@davidestabrook5367]

Regarding "nice guys", if your dating site profile lists the type of people who you don't want to contact you, you'll sound negative. If you're a man, you're not going to get 100 approaches everyday, and have to find a way of getting the numbers down. Also if your dating profile is negative and talks a lot about what you don't like, then you'll sound like a negative person who complains a lot. If you feel incomplete and want a partner to make you feel happy, then therapy and taking up a hobby, will improve your happiness level, way more than dating. You need to feel comfortable and happy with yourself, before you're going to be able to have a secure relationship.

[@MsVilecat]

​@@silverghostcat1924It's like they are but also vehemently deny it. Had many a discussion with rando "nice guys" online where we'd be a few telling him about it in a very constructive manner to then just look at them constantly walking in circles. I know for some it's easier to just blame others instead of themselves. But when the person says they realise their attitude is part of the issue yet don't change, I can't compute.

[@marianafeliciano6601]

This remind me when I was going for my usual walks, this 65+ guy who could be my grandfather stop his car and said to me "You're so gorgeous!!" blew me a kiss, lick his lips while looking up and down at me and then stood there waiting for a response. For the first time, I didn't respond anything and just kept walking. He then look mad as he drives away. Was I supposed to thank him for making me feel uncomfortable? 🤔

[@haylene7521]

Oh hell f-ing NO. Thats creepy AF

[@Caroline-qj7fq]

Old people be demented istg

[@dickottel]

sometimes I do this 🖕

[@marianafeliciano6601]

​@@haylene7521 Right?! I was beyond grossed out and creeped out 😥

[@MsVilecat]

*barf*

[@Asongbook]

If you are not my mom or y husband and you reach out to touch my hair without mynconsent, expect a parry and possibly a ripost

[@John_Weiss]

19:15 We need a new emoji, one of a film-projector. Because dudes like this are _projecting hard._ And it would be nice to just send a simple film-projector emoji in response to them.

[@cleliaoconnell3705]

I don't know which phone you have but mine has these: 🎥🎞📽 Enjoy 😄

[@silkwesir1444]

@@cleliaoconnell3705 20 years of standardization just passed you by? it does not depend on the phone what emojis you "have"...

[@galaxychill9578]

different phones have different looking emojis

[@errantwinds-up8uu]

Me, at the beginning of the dating app rant: "Not sure this belongs on r/niceguys, I mean, the dating app game is ROUGH" Me, at the end of the rant: "Wow. You may value intelligence, but you sure don't have any."

[@j.apenrose7896]

At a camp thing I went to as a teen, there was a dance toward the end. The girls (not a girl, but then was viewed as one) were instructed that they had to say yes when a guy asked them to be their date. ALSO the guys were allowed to ask as many girls as they liked. It was reeeeeally uncomfortable. I was thirteen, and the guy I had to say yes to was 17. Also the guys had to ask "permission" from one of our male group leaders. It was just weird.

[@holacasita1979]

Were you by chance raised LDS

[@j.apenrose7896]

@@holacasita1979 Not LDS, but it was a Christian camp thing. Way weirder than the church we went to at that stage though. Very fundamentalist. I actually just went and looks at the reviews of it, and was reminded of some of the other awful crap that happened there like being told horror stories about rape, as well as horror stories about abortion. Plus, the group at the end of each day that was least tidy had to wear signs saying "I love like a pig." It's a lot more messed up in hindsight.

[@silkwesir1444]

@@j.apenrose7896 European here, Christianity is a lot different here, not as unhinged as in your woods, more laid back in general. But I also remember that like in church activities there was content in the activities for kids that in retrospect seems weirdly sexualizing. All like in a way of making fun of it, not really seriously, but still rather weird and makes me wonder what they are thinking when they are cooking up theses programmes. (Maybe they think, in that age they'll make sex jokes anyway, so better we at least steer it somehow...)

[@wegotthechoccies]

As a transmasc, I genuinely try to be nice to people of all genders, not just women, but when I am polite to women, I'm sure to be a gentleman because I used to get harassed terribly before (and after) transitioning by creepy guys, one in particular who was supposed to be my friend. I never never never want to be that guy for someone.

[@charlotteinnocent8752]

This is why I always advise my kids to always date dutch as it were and pay for your own meal. Even one date where the person you date assumed paying for dinner meant they WOULD get intimacy is enough. I don't need them to experience this absurdity as well. Just assume you will pay for all your own to be on the safe side even if they offer!

[@MiaAngridere]

Sing it with me: Don't be polite to men who creep you out. [clap, clap] Don't be polite to men who creep you out. [clap, clap] Don't be polite to men; It's not your job to comfort them. Don't be polite to men who creep you out. [clap, clap]

[@helenn6551]

The hair tucking guy was definitely someone who was trying to do that swave thing guys do in movies and shows to get that intimate touch in, but didn't realize you only do that once or twice. More than that and it'll be annoying

[@paulhammond6978]

Yup. Definitely something he's seen in a movie, where it reads as a sweet moment between people who like each other.

[@waffles3629]

And you sure as hell don't do it after she immediately undoes it.

[@silkwesir1444]

Nah... maybe it occurs in movies, but it's a real thing. I mean, it can be incredibly "charged" from the point of view of the one fondling. Makes no sense but of course doesn't have to...

[@SomeoneIusedtoknow-s1f]

Guys, it's not sexy, it's not fun, it's not nice, it's creepy and predatory for you to think and say things like "you shouldn't be alone with a man, they can do whatever they want with you." At work, or anywhere else. If your mind goes there you should get that checked out. Also, don't flirt with women who are doing their jobs at restaurants, bartending jobs, retail stores, craft sales, golf courses, gaming places, bowling alleys, etc..... that's just weird and creepy to flirt and hit on women who are trapped by their actual job into putting up with you. Makes you seem predatory.

[@thekameru6058]

Agree. Anyone man whos says anything remotely like that is automatically on my 'this guy is a threat' radar. Men often broadcast their intentions poorly dressed as advice or 'jokes'. Teens and younger women need to be made aware of that. Having said that, Gen Z are catching on a hell of a lot faster than the millenials did to this sort of crap, mainly because they are freer of gaslighting and normalisation of hab buse growing up from the boomers and older gen Ys. Also they got far more chances to exchange info and compare notes to protect themselves from predadors online, and I couldnt be prouder or more hopeful for them.

[@FrozEnbyWolf150-b9t]

Ugh, my father says things like that to me and members of his immediate family, because he rationalizes it as showing concern or being protective. That's where his mind immediately goes when he thinks of us, and that's how he justifies himself, by drawing a contrast to the worst case scenario. He once told me that I shouldn't carry my flashlight a certain way outside at night, because someone who wanted to (censored) from a distance could aim for the flashlight. And I'm supposed to appreciate that kind of advice?

[@Dutch3DMaster]

Something that I once read or heard when it comes to attempting to hit on women in a workplace (primarily those you visit as a customer), was basically this: If you decide to do it, do it at the end, so that any uncomfortable situations don't happen for the rest of your stay there. Another tip I once got should you want to do this: write your number on the receipt and leave it up to her. Which, again, IF you decide to do it, and probably a better rule is to just not...

[@silkwesir1444]

@@thekameru6058 "Men often..." - one important thing to never forget is that people are different. Let us just agree that making comments like that is creepy and should not be done because it makes the other person uncomfortable. But skip that mind reading stuff, it's irrelevant to the point anyway.

[@emilyd.2796]

15:46 the boat instantly makes me think of that ‘it’s always sunny’ scene about “but its the implication”

[@JuzALilGayBean]

"of course" .... "because of the implication"

[@perryekimae]

For the Strength of the Youth is almost purpose built to produce Nice Guys and Trad Wives.

[@holacasita1979]

See, i knew about the trad wives but I have so much more sympathy for all the young men realizing that they've been groomed, too! I just never put together that they're expected to be nice guys, it makes me hate them so much less

[@UncleverCarapace]

20:36 When are we going to collectively acknowledge that people with a history of abuse end up being abused again, because they were taught that abuse is love? Like, it has nothing to do with “wanting” a “bad boy” and everything to do with how other people have a hurt them in the past.

[@SteveDoan-l1h]

Mrs. JammiDoger is a lesbian she is married to a lesbian. She has lesbian sex. Jammidodger is a female that suffers from multiple mental disorders, has mutilated breasts and an enlarged, deformed clitoris from taking cross sex hormones with a piece of skin hanging down. she calls a penis. SHE is not a man.

[@ReaderInSeattle]

I'm sooooooooo glad I'm not dating right now. But I am having flashbacks to some of the nasty boys I knew then and the insults they hurled at me. It is never worth continuing the "argument" with one of these creeps.

[@ihavenolife7597]

Good God, I feel for the cashier. I'm a cashier myself at a gas station and let me tell you, the majority of our customers are men that are much clearly older than I am. What part of doing my job and being nice to them gives them the impression that I want to date them, much less go back to their house or want their number?? Im baffled at the amount of times I'm hit on during the day. And most of the time, they're regular customers. Hell, I've had an older guy take my hand while I was handing over his lottery tickets and KISS MY HAND. Like ???

[@Duxvyrixukis]

I'm sure afterwards was the longest shower o your life

[@hollierushby]

I quit a job in retail because of old men hitting on me when I was a teenager. I just couldn't cope with it anymore. The hand kissing and "if I was 20 years ypunger", I wouldn't have been interested even if you were 30/40 years younger.

[@ghosttieee7]

It's as if boundaries aren't real anymore

[@hollierushby]

@ghosttieee7 for a lot of "nice guys" boundaries aren't acceptable, and the word isn't in their vocabulary.

[@pemanilnoob]

I was honestly flabbergasted when I saw the number 58 on that post FIFTY EIGHT!!! HITTING ON SOMEONE HE THINKS LOOKS LIKE A TEEN!!! GROSS

[@BiggerinRealLife]

You don’t want to date bisexuals? Well we don’t want to date you, and we like EVERYBODY! 😂😂😂

[@rorolilred]

I love how the super picky guy thought he would get a girlfriend in 2 weeks on a dating app

[@roor6846]

Not just that, one week each on two different apps

[@rorolilred]

@@roor6846 I've tried *so hard* I've been on this dating app for ONE WHOLE WEEK!!!!! Clearly it's a scam!!!

[@leosalt]

i was actually in shock when he said he was 58!!!!!!!!!!!!! ofc complimenting a teenager is creepy

[@babyclown1371]

My aunt's second husband fits the "Nice Guy" type, he made the family reunion a bit interesting

[@Idkmwillow]

Uh oh!

[@susannairisastarte5192]

Yuck 🤮

[@HistoryBuffBro]

Now I want the story, the cruelty of depriving me of this sweet sweet drama is most terrible.

[@chelseawhite7117]

Not the guy getting dumped tantruming like a toddler, like “women flock to me in droves, they love how I don’t see them as people and treat them terribly”

[@PokhrajRoy.]

Speaking of nice guys, I want everyone to mention who’s actually a nice guy. There’s Jamie, Roly, Markiplier, Jackscepticeye, OneTopic, The Click, Anthony Padilla, Miles Bonsignore, Ty Turner etc

[@АлександрНовиков-ш8ш8п]

Anthony Padilla?

[@PokhrajRoy.]

@@АлександрНовиков-ш8ш8п Yup

[@EggnogTheNog]

They’re nice guys, not Nice Guys.

[@swishfish8858]

Do not idolize those you have not met.

[@PokhrajRoy.]

@@swishfish8858 Fair but we need little pockets of joy too

[@SnowDragon_2204]

29:45 i think it’s for mormon church youth dances (it’s a thing they do sometimes? for like 14-18 iirc) what clues me in to that is when it says know your standards and mentions for the strength of youth. there’s a little booklet given to every young person (like 12-13) in the church called “for the strength of youth” that lists a bunch of rules and standards that they’re supposed to follow. so the “know your standards” bit seems to be referencing that specifically.

[@SuperMarioMarcus06]

6:58 I had that cup as a kid. the buzz part (at least on mine) could spin around as to not be facing that way

[@meepmoopiethe3rd]

Having a legal precedent for buying off the nose of a person who kisses you without consent sounds like the setup for a Monty Python joke.

[@mrglassscience]

Something about these reminds of religious people doing good just to get into heaven. It's like, I want to be evil, but I've heard that if I behave I'll get a reward.

[@DontMockMySmock]

the "i own boats" guy reminds me of The Implication from it's always sunny in philidelphia

[@HistoryBuffBro]

In his Majesty’s Royal Navy, boats are sidelined, I dare say, we haveth ships!

[@CloverField83]

My ex-husband used to do the hair tuck thing and it was okay because we were married. It was this sweet thing where he was saying without words that he wanted to see my face. No, we didn't divorce because he was a horrible person. He changed his mind on not wanting kids and I didn't, so we parted ways wishing each other well.

[@HistoryBuffBro]

Cute.

[@6PrincessHeart9]

Edgar Allen Poe died young too, lol.

[@gabriellehitchins9182]

Poe also famously lived and died really broke. (Like I can’t remove my coat because I have no shirt broke)

[@LoremIpsum-dp1li]

2:57 *Her:* I'm not going to waste your time. *Him:* Stop wasting my time!!!1! /home/niceguy/logic: No such file or directory

[@terra4686]

linux user spotted

[@Dutch3DMaster]

@@terra4686 Honestly was about to say the same thing :P

[@jennyb4543]

After the boat comment, I was waiting for the It's Always Sunny clip, "because of the implication". 😅

[@elizabethcox8692]

The dance dress code is for a Mormon dance. I got these frequently growing up. And the whole "know your standards" bit? The "For the Strength of Youth" book they mentioned tells you what your standards are. And they wonder why mormon women still get abused in their church. They have all the nice guys🤦‍♀️

[@katashworth41]

That creep with the “have you been on a boat?” (That was very nearly, have you been on a coat 🤦‍♂️) I have the perfect response. “Yes, it’s how I know I get seasick, want a demonstration?”

[@dawn8293]

30:26 "For the Strength of Youth" is a Mormon pamphlet of standards for teens. Ugh. I grew up Mormon, and this flyer was really feeling so familiar to the church dances I grew up attending. My cousin brought his girlfriend to one of these dances, and she isn't Mormon, and they sent her home for having visible shoulders, and she was crying in there parking lot. He was so embarrassed.

[@HistoryBuffBro]

No more, man.

[@phoebesulistio6830]

I have a cursory interest in literature, and even I knew that Edgar Allan Poe revolutionized poetry decades BEFORE Sylvia Plath then stomped on all our collective depressed hearts with hers

[@friedasimonetta7287]

As an autistic person who can take things literally, I sort of relate to the individual who was confused about that question (fully relate if there wasn’t malicious intent to the comment). It took me a while to realize what people meant when saying someone was a “nice guy” or “nice girl” meant. I thought those guys/girls were anything but nice and felt sorry for those who dated those mean people. Watching that content every now and then made me realize that the label “nice guys/girls” was those who were being “nice” only for their benefit and not for one they were dating. If that comment was malicious, then I’m not trying to justify it. It was to explain that sometimes people might take the term literally and not realize what they mean without knowing the full context of the term.

[@Nakia11798]

Yeah, we call them "nice guys" in sarcasm, because they call themselves nice guys in serious delusion.

[@BiDisaster327]

Yeah, I can also relate as an autistic person. It's better to look at this as *self-proclaimed "nice guys".* it also applies to people having to say "I'm actually a really good person" or things of this sort. If you have to declare it instead of acting like it, something's off.

[@HistoryBuffBro]

I to am autistic.. wait, no, sorry, I meant Artistic, but British. Apologies mate, but I am on the spectrum.

[@silkwesir1444]

Just want to say Hi and Ahoy! I think these times are very special, not just for us, obviously... But for the first time we finally are finding our voice and I think it's amazing. Still remains to be seen how it all works out because it's almost paradoxical... But after all, we have experience with that kind of thing, like we got lots of practice so, ... EXPECT US! ✊

[@meepmoopiethe3rd]

I was nice to a guy at work because that's my job. He thought I was flirting, started saying stuff like, "I wish I'd had a chance to marry someone who looks like you," and, "You're a little overweight, but in the right places," and when I literally drove away from the situation when he was mid-sentence, he had the audacity to call my boss complaining that I was leading him on and was rude. He was 80-something. I'm in my late 20s.

[@HistoryBuffBro]

Hey, just means he has experience!… being a creep- I- I meant being a creep.

[@vortex3010]

29:55 So when I was in grade 7ish ('98) in Canada, when we had school dances everyone was strongly encouraged not to say no to anyone who asked for a dance. Like there was no pamphlet but the teachers were said "everyone is here to have fun, be nice to everyone and if someone asks you should say yes to be nice" I think the first dance I did that and I so didn't have fun then the next dances after that I pretty much said no to everyone and just danced with my friends.

[@dutchvanl]

Yeah, we had a square dancing unit in gym class in middle school and were all told, "this one time, a girl in the class turned down a boy and years later came back and said she wished she hadn't because now he's cute..." Just... SO MUCH toxicity in that message.

[@claratalbot7613]

I had a former friend who was a "nice guy" who kept trying to get me to go out with him even after I told him repeatedly he wasn't my type. What ended that friendship wasn't what I'm sure he probably thinks it was because I don't have a problem with dirty jokes or dry/dark humor but when he literally told me over the phone that gay people should only have the option of becoming civil partners rather than being able to get married & have a wedding as well as bringing up bs about trans people I ended up blocking him as not only was he insulting some of my friends who are lgbtq+ but also telling me that my future wife & I shouldn't be allowed to have a wedding & get married if we want to Edit: He always went on a rant about how much he's not privileged in society even though he's a cis hete white man

[@waffles3629]

Ugh, what is it with white cishet men thinking they are the most discriminated against group in history? My sperm donor is like this and it's so annoying. Especially when he starts ranting that anyone who isn't a cishet man in his job is a diversity hire. Like dude, you can't say you are the most discriminated against group, follow it up with saying anyone not in that group has any qualifications, and expect to be taken seriously.

[@HistoryBuffBro]

@@waffles3629Another issue is male depression, as it’s very clearly a big problem right now statistically. I genuinely believe that asshole men are mainly the ones who perpetuate actual nice guys (not “nice guys”) to be like that, by making women more suspect to men, therefore making it harder for men to connect with women, or making them less confident. I have a whole plethora of other theories about it too. I say this as a homosexual white guy with depression, so, maybe not the best person to be that advocate vocally, but, “nice guys” definitely contribute to the cognitive depression and emotional deprivation of nice guys. That, and, the pornography industry, and a billion other things, like I said, I have endless theories.

[@silkwesir1444]

@@HistoryBuffBro I know me telling you this probably will not help all that much, but that's a classic "overthinking spiral" you have there... I know these things and how you can't just get out of them at will... So, "good luck", I guess - all the best wishes to you!

[@HistoryBuffBro]

@@silkwesir1444 If only I cared..

[@gennevieve6969]

OMG, I love the Buzz Lightyear cup, that’s just precious. I’ll have to try and buy it for my gay bff !

[@prageruwu69]

bi people are cool

[@Jude_515]

We are.

[@alicebthegachaweirdo8378]

Yep, I can confirm this

[@TCHorwood-xq7mw]

So are non-bi(nary)

[@Salikino]

Thank you!

[@ThatOnePencilCase55]

Ooo thank you! (Also I recognise you from a comment section of another certain British youtuber, my fellow guy you have some great taste)

[@EliasEatsRamen]

HELP the 3rd guy sounds suspiciously like my uncle but the only difference is that he hasn't lived in an RV (although he doesn't talk to me much, so I don't know for sure). Like dude, he's had the same issues with "all women" as that dude and even lives in the same place like whatt 😭🙏💀

[@BiggerinRealLife]

Nice Guys are the same guys who idolize The Joker and they can’t see the irony.

[@HistoryBuffBro]

I mean, to be fair, (Joaquin Phoenix version) dude has a rough backstory. Also, daily reminder for the internet: Mental illness≠Violent serial killer.

[@_Higher_Octave_]

Its the fact that its so easy to give someone a compliment without coming off as creepy.. like the fact that man had to specify “she was at least 18” clearly shows that it wasn’t just to give a compliment… Like if while I was working, a little old man came up and was like “you’re pretty” The tone of his voice will definitely decide how I react… so I can only assume his tone was definitely not a “sweet old man giving a compliment” and definitely a “kind of creepy guy” (im 19, nb fem presenting)

[@silkwesir1444]

Sometimes the context can make any type of compliment creepy. The "thoughts behind it" are not what counts, but how it comes across - which you cannot control, but learn to anticipate. Like in the context you describe, being a customer, the only type of compliment that I think would be appropiate would be compliments that actually relate to the job. Like "wow, you are fast at billing those", maybe... It's a matter of boundaries, not just in the romantic/sexual sense but in general.

[@night_god2458]

30:25 This booklet is likely for stake dances for the Mormon Church. I'm an ex-mormon, and For the Strength of Youth was a booklet for teenagers to abide by that talks about how to dress and behave in certain scenarios like dances, parties, church, etc. The mormons love controlling women and young ladies while also claiming that "Women and Men just have different roles in the church." Its pretty bad

[@toriray6126]

I was about to leave this exact same comment. Hearing for the strength of youth again immediately made my spine shoot up straight and I knew IMMEDIATELY. So fuckin gross

[@night_god2458]

@@toriray6126 I literally paused the video and went "NOOOOOO GOD DAMN IT"

[@toriray6126]

@@night_god2458 for real, first thing I did was check the comments and saw this frame 1 for some reason. So ass 😭 At very least those lessons taught me what trans people are as something you SHOULDN'T be. I guess I ignored that part and I don't know if my hardcore sheltering would've ever let me find that out

[@thatoneweiredchick]

Exactly my thoughts. Strength of youth is a dead give away even if you didn't recognize anything else.

[@Darkshine51]

I have been told the exact same thing about saying yes to a guy (I'm afab nonbinary) at church dances and every time I'm like excuse me no wtf he should just get over it I literally have no idea who he is

[@LC-xh1hu]

I gave his chance to a seemingly not nice guy. But he is genuinely nice and have humor. And he didn't ask me out, I "chased" him by being his friend for 2 years. The more I knew him, the more I wanted to be with him. And it grew in his heart too. And we are engaged and have 2 daughters together, now. Real nice guys don't have to put a flag on their faces to say it to the world. It shows. In everything they do. If you're willing to control someone else, how they look, who they talk to, where they are, etc... Then you're literally the exact opposite of someone genuinely nice and caring.

[@MichaelStein-j4u]

To be fair, dating apps are a scam. If you find a partner, they lose a customer.

[@Dr_Mortis_SCP]

I feel like calling them dating apps is disingenuous. They’re hookup apps, let’s acknowledge them as such

[@waffles3629]

​@@Dr_Mortis_SCP yep, and most of the people I know who found a partner on the apps have either broken up, or are in miserable relationships. The success rate is not high.

[@iknowyouwanttofly]

​@@Dr_Mortis_SCP no the are introduction apps.

[@Dr_Mortis_SCP]

@@iknowyouwanttofly So few people are actually using dating apps for an “introduction”. Most people just want to use them for a quick hookup

[@EnbyCatboyGF]

I find it funny that the post by the guy about 10 minutes in says no bi poly or mental disorders as I'm a Poly Lesbian woman with DID and one of my other headmates is a bi woman. I would be the worst candidate for that guy.

[@HistoryBuffBro]

Poly, lesbian, and a woman? You have the trifecta of social disadvantages. Good luck ma’am, I’m rooting for you.

[@lunaandrine8567]

Wait... Sexualities got power levels? I want to find out mine

[@teddybaker4759]

it's over 9000

[@HistoryBuffBro]

@@teddybaker4759This made me think of “I love you 3000”, and now I have to watch Iron Man die because of you!

[@moiramarques]

I went out with a guy I met in a Buddhist Sangha once or twice, and explicity said I would only like to be friends. He went on to pestering me for about three years, so I didn't want to be even his friend anymore. I remember once he asked why I didn't like him if our musical taste was the same. 🤡 (Which wasn't, I probably just said I liked the Beatles)

[@HistoryBuffBro]

I don’t want to Google it because I like hearing other people explain things, it’s soothing, would you mind explaining what a ‘Sangha’ is?

[@moiramarques]

Sure! Is a group of people who follow teachings and practice together, a community.

[@HistoryBuffBro]

@@moiramarques learning new things is fun.

[@AlijWR]

Happy to see my algorithm show me this within an hour

[@ZekeWixx]

I love all your videos Jamie. I haven't seen your videos in so long. I'm so happy this popped up on my feed!

[@ErisIsAnAbomination]

The funniest thing to me about Nice Guys is how they’ll lie about their relationships and contradict EVERYTHING as soon as they’re rejected. Like yeah, I’m suuure you could “pull a 10” to replace me and have a million women at your beck and call and it’s DEFINITELY true and not just you trying to make me jealous. You have fun with that.

[@HistoryBuffBro]

And ‘nice guys’ give actually nice guys a bad wrap, and by calling nice women derogatory terms, they distract from ‘nice women’ who actually are awful. And the bear thing, the men who don’t understand that are the men women are afraid of, the men who do understand it are what men should be in an ideal world. Though, I’m a bear- uh, if you catch my meaning, lol. (The gay is strong with this one)

[@forktotheoeil]

The dance leaflet is from a mormon dance. it’s all kinds of weird; to even be able to go you’d have to pass a worthiness interview. and there would be chaperones hovering around to make sure no one was getting too close but also someone’s breaking boy’s groups apart to ask the girls to dance or vice versa. going to stake dance was wild sometimes. i still sometimes have the anxiety of not being able to turn someone down who’s and me on a date because of these standards 😭😭😭

[@Awesometrans]

Saw this two minutes after it was posted so that's cool. You're awesome Jamie!

[@LisatheKiwi99]

It said 5 minutes for me 😂🎉

[@TheresaBaker420]

this video contains the first ever legitimate example of the "nice guy" stereotype 19:03 I thought they were a fictional character before this because I've never seen a valid example of it before

[@starlydonati2008]

19:44 this very well could be a scene in something I’m writing. The married man is polyam while his girlfriend is stuck in a loveless marriage for financial security reasons. So the reasons he’s sad aren’t the same as the hypocritical jealousy in the meme, but it technically has the same sort of relationship web.

[@silkwesir1444]

Will there be a twist ending?

[@RawChuckOnLinux]

I make sure to be respectful to people and absolutely don't even try to flirt because I'm married and also nearly sixty. I make it a point to be respectful and polite without trying to make a relationship out of a brief encounter. Many people are bad at reading the room, so to speak. I've had women being just short of abusive to me in the name of flirting with me but I can never tell that that's what is happening. I might even be Autistic which would help explain why I can't tell that women are flirting in a mean way. They can't tell that they're really stressing me either, I mean really extremely stressing me. Too often it has happened in situations where I had no choice but to keep interacting with them like when I was waiting their table or it's somewhere where they work and I had no choice but to interact with them. People expecting things out of other people is a very good way to be disappointed. When I was single and out dancing it was easier. I could tell if they wanted to dance but I still had to ask in case they didn't want to dance with me specifically. I would ask a woman to dance and if they did want to we would dance and that was the end of it. I can never tell if they're actually interested in me so I never tried to pursue women in that way. If they asked me to dance then they either knew it was safe to dance with me or they might actually be interested. I still gave people space to find a safe way to let me know if they were interested in me but I don't remember ever getting a date that way. When you ask why men make it about themselves I think you're missing the context of why they were saying that, sometimes it's merely out of frustration. I only mention this because I've heard women say similar things about men but the details are slightly different. This is merely an observation and I'm not intending to be rude at all so I hope that saying this isn't rude but it may be. I was a busboy for a few years during my teens and the whole waitstaff was made up of women there. I heard all kinds of complaints about men and many things that I should make sure to never do.

[@Belle_amie123]

Your voice is very soothing

[@downinahole193]

I married an actual nice guy. Compatibility is a factor as well, poor incels. 😢

[@samfinneas8399]

The leaflet for the dance. FOR THE STRENGTH OF YOUTH IS A MORMON BOOK FOR YOUTH IN THE LDS CHURCH WITH GUIDELINES ON HOW TO ACT. I was literally thinking while you were reading it out that I remember going to dances and being told not to say no for that reason but I didn’t realise this was ACTUALLY THAT. Oh my god brooooo. Being a Mormon was fucking crazy!!

[@nonreligionist]

How do people have such terrible reactions to rejection when rejection is like 90% of social interaction?

[@maryford3243]

I bit a guy's tongue when he kissed me and stuck his tongue in my mouth when I had already told him no to a kiss. He was actually shocked. I thought it was funny. I didn't even think about biting him. It was just a natural reaction. He was a "nice guy" too.

[@HistoryBuffBro]

Kinky… w- wait, no, the biting part, not the forced part- nope, too late, I’m getting cancelled. It’s been good knowing you. 🫡

[@MagiusDel]

"Nice" guys need to remember, if they can't handle the friend zone, they're nowhere NEAR ready for an actual relationship.

[@nebulan]

Therapy can probably do wonders for some of these guys

[@HistoryBuffBro]

I find that therapy helps many people realise that they are, in fact, the problem, and making themselves better will make other people like them more.

[@Nakia11798]

How does that person know they weren't "the one that got away"? He a mind-reader? I didn't tell plenty of people I had feelings for them over the years.

[@Bloodstainedwings]

a lot of women say "i have a boyfriend' to 'nice guys' because we understand that unless we are seen as taken property, we are not going to be left alone. Its horrible to have to treat yourself as property of a man just to be left alone, not respected as a person who can make decisions for themselves.

[@youtubeuniversity3638]

Yeah the bear thing showed too many guys can't process that comparing them to a bear is supposed to be about them and not the bears.

[@UnreliableArsonist]

Hey, Jamie, I just wanted to thank you for all the support over this past year, whether you know about it or not. I bought your book, skimmed through it and successfully came out to most of my family. I originally thought I was a trans man but now I’m questioning myself and exploring my identity further (I might actually be pangender for all we know!). As long as you keep being true to yourself I’ll be here to watch :)

[@AmaranthOriginal]

In GRADE SCHOOL, before our first dance, the girls were told nit to say no to the boys if they asked for a dance I am still creeped out by that

[@Nakia11798]

Grade school girls are savage and would probably destroy those little boys for life 😂 Source: I am a woman and was once the victim of grade school girl bullies.

[@AmaranthOriginal]

@@Nakia11798 grade school boys need to learn some time

[@UncleverCarapace]

30:27 “For the Strength of Youth” is a Mormon pamphlet for 12-17 year old kids. I’ve been handed this leaflet myself.

[@TroubledFerretzz]

i love the ones that are like wall of text about how they have "other options" its like.... okay.... well this option didnt work out for you just go to your harem to forget about it..... dont sit there wasting precious time on some one who politely told you "Naw."

[@silkwesir1444]

Sounds like people forgetting "positive self-talk" in an effort to boost your own confidence is not what you say to others - you are supposed to keep it to yourself...

[@felixthehuman]

lol, this is going to be interesting- lately I've been going down some of the gaycel rabbit holes like r/LGBTForeverAlone and it has been very strange. Also I have a feeling this will show plenty of material for r/MenAndFemales

[@DanielledeVreede]

The "first dance" pamphlet is giving me religious vibes🤔

[@ratk1ng.0]

lmao imagine being like "im gonna be edgar allen poe when I grow up but ur just copying sylvia plath" like buddy...... happy halloween or something

[@adriannegentleman83]

yes Jamie, I agree, I think 90% of my brain cells died at that moment too, WOW Peeping Tom, Flattering???? really. 😵

[@Amethystar]

Working at a grocery store, I hear about older men "complimenting" female staff all the time! I'm older and was taught to be more accepting of compliments (and was a bit sheltered), so it doesn't bother me as much, but I can totally see why our younger staff is weirded out. Older generations were taught to accept compliments without question and to be thankful for a kind word. Nowadays, we are more accustomed to questioning the intentions of the speaker, especially when there's a big age gap. The biggest problem is that these older men (and younger as well) truly do not see from any perspective from their own and are unwilling to empathize with the people who are uncomfortable. Self-reflection is not exactly a go-to for these "nice guys." We even had a guy tug on a cashier's hair to get her attention. Another wanted to look more closely at a cashier's tattoo, so he grabbed her wrist and leaned in.

[@HistoryBuffBro]

(“You look lovely today, by the way, thanks.” *smiles and leaves*: Acceptable compliment)(“You look absolutely gorgeous”*winks*: wtf, unacceptable) those people don’t seem to understand that there is absolutely an appropriate way to make someone happy about how they look.

[@Prence]

Nice guys never have to convince anyone they’re a nice guy.

[@Charlotte-hv6ll]

Leaving a comment for the algorithm

[@nightnark3037]

i'm a bi trans woman, wit a cis pan woman, we are so happy together!