I do... but does God? // Quaker Weddings [CC]

[@KellseyAlexHipo]

Not gonna lie, the title reminded me instantly of that one vine: “You may be verified on Twitter... but are you verified, in the eyes of god?”

[@bleh1569]

Lmao

[@frogmouth]

Quakers don't presume to tell you what God thinks. That is the province of the Vatican , Cof E archbishops, and fundamentalists.

[@ursomajor5607]

@@frogmouth OOP, and I know that right

[@hmagellanlinux307]

The pre-marriage "are you sure you've thought of everything?" community meeting sounds like a remarkably good idea

[@luxurypetscz]

If every engaged couple had their friends sit in a circle and ask awkward questions like "what happens when you stop being so horny for each other?" the number of divorces would go down by half lmao

[@rubyatarah]

Agreed!!!

[@HOHNancy]

@@luxurypetscz Agree. LOL

[@HOHNancy]

It is a good idea. 🙂

[@joyoriordan]

My husband and had that before our Church of England wedding. The priest talked us through the vows we were going to make and asked us questions about lots of stuff including finances and families. Would recommend doing something similar no matter what you believe or don’t believe!

[@edenl.6771]

Can we get a video with Claudia about her thoughts on Quakerism?

[@representationmetaphorique]

Eden L. ++

[@kaitlyncleary3424]

Thats a good idea. I kind of thought she was a Quaker already.

[@niesamowiterayson4594]

@@kaitlyncleary3424 All I remember of her thoughts on the topicc were that abt a year or so ago she said she was agnosticc

[@lolololololutrythcfy]

yes^^ from what i’ve watched claudia isn’t a quaker but joins jessica for (some?all?) quaker meetings as a visitor which quakers happily allow :)

[@MelHyde]

Ooh yes

[@Michelala]

Quaker wedding certificates are really cool. In my day job (Quaker archivist in Canada) I have about a dozen certificates from the late 1700s-early 1800s and three of them had so many people in attendance that they had to start signing their names between lines of text in miniscule writing, and right around the edges, and some even curving around other signatures. It's an utter mess of a document to transcribe, but really lovely to see how many people loved the couple.

[@hanak5479]

"Quaker archivist in Canada" wtf what a dream job

[@Michelala]

Wren, it sounds a lot more glamorous than it really is lol. But then again, most cool sounding jobs are like that. I spend most of my time cataloging recent records being deposited into the vaults. When I'm not doing that I'm probably doing simple genealogical searches for research requests. It does have high points though, like the old wedding certificates and finding letters from well known politicians, including every Canadian Prime Minister from the 1950's to early 2000s. And one from Joni Mitchell and another from Mr. Dress Up (he was kind of like the Canadian Mr. Rogers, but a lot more fun. I squealed like a four year old when I found that one.).

[@AndxxNatalie]

Wow! What a cool job!

[@jessicaoutofthecloset]

That sounds so interesting!

[@Kempster_K]

I was trying to imagine what it would look like when she explained it. I can't imagine all my guests signing something frame-worthy!

[@laidikirsta9122]

I'm an atheist and very critical to ALL religions, mainly because of the political/humanitarian implications they have regarding equality, human rights, discrimination/persecution because of race, gender, sexual orientation, beliefs, etc etc. But your Quakerism is one of the few descriptions of religious practice I've heard that kind of ... makes sense. With or without a god of some kind, the thought of "everyone is equal, be kind, and do the best you can because that's the right thing to do", is how I try to live my life and how I think everyone should act. Thank you, Jessica, for teaching me more about this.

[@chloemcdermott2978]

I'm actually a Satanist myself but Quakers sound nice. Especially, for the fact you can't hate her can you. She's like a puppy with a vintage style, great presentation and open mindedness.

[@laidikirsta9122]

Most religions do have a lot more crappy beliefs and control mechanisms built in though. Women are seen as lesser than men, and needs to be controlled/dominated/punished. And often the reason for "behaving" (=following the rules of the religion) is because of a promise/threat of some kind of heaven/hell, not because it's seen as a good thing to do in THIS life.

[@eileenmarie1652]

Laidi Kirsta unfortunately as a Catholic, I can agree with your statement. A lot of religions are very critical of women, heck, I’ve felt it myself. Women have to cover up, keep quiet, and do their job as a housewife. It’s sad, since the religions won’t move with the times.

[@charliewilliamson8360]

@@chloemcdermott2978 what do Satanists believe? Sorry that sounds so general but could you just give me an idea as I don't know much about it at all?

[@chloemcdermott2978]

@@charliewilliamson8360 we are atheists but with more outwardly critical views on religion. We view ourselves as our own god. Basically we can choose our own destiny without believing any higher power can. Also for clarification we don't literally worship Satan. We don't believe in any super natural being with the power to control us all weather they are depicted as evil or good. Fyi there are loads of different factions of Satanism I come from the church of Satan.

[@EmmaWickman]

In Sweden we have the same beautiful tradition of the couple walking in together as they are equal but unfortunately because of American tv people are choosing to be handed over from their father to the husband now. It’s crazy that people don’t understand how beautiful it is to have a equal wedding :(

[@joshuazane3210]

Honestly, any God that would have a problem with two adults being in a loving relationship and making each other happy isn't a God I'm willing to worship.

[@yn6292]

My thoughts exactly!

[@SixtySecondYoga]

Joshua Zane Same here!

[@uzbek5545]

Am i talking to u? No! So dont butt in bye

[@yn6292]

@@uzbek5545 if you're not willing to have a discussion don't comment at all. You're not more important than anyone else. Arrogant bint.

[@genesisjordan2440]

I guess its good not everyone is gay, right? Just imagine if the world was only filled with radical religious bigots like you. Science cant explain a lot of things, but that doesn't mean a floating man in the sky is the answer. Gay marriages are more realistic than god, mostly because gay people exist.

[@katastrophic3907]

every one of your quaker videos I sit there thinking 'i didn't know it was possible to have a religion this good', just such pure ideas of equality and free expression. would love to hear more about quaker history things!

[@k_a_y_l_e_e]

it truly does sound like a religion that radiates nothing but light and positivity. (at least the community she and her wife belong to.)

[@ibookman3338]

Low-key skins life a cult huh? Lol

[@lexijamie3193]

I don't know why but I find your voice very soothing and relaxing 😊😍😴

[@whendnewzum3058]

Me too

[@trustnoone3781]

Lol wtf me too I came across her video one day I like it so much I subscribe to her heck I did my hair like hers for my son graduation

[@ctopanga14]

I agree! I think Jessica should do some ASMR videos! :)

[@AngiDas]

I feel the same. I could listen to Jessica talk all day about any topic.

[@annwhale4418]

Oh I agree too! Jessica you have a lovely calming gentle voice.

[@jessicaoutofthecloset]

Thank you for watching! Let me know what topic you would like me to cover next...

[@smh1072]

I would love to see more of your vintage style please Jessica. No new ones for some time. Xx

[@shalacarter6658]

For me, I like the videos on disabilities. You have helped me so much with those. And history. I love listening to you talk about history.

[@veronicamassey1694]

I really like your videos about your disabilities because I have learned so so so much from you! I also like your vintage/style videos. I’d like to see you doing your shopping sometime to see what you’re looking for in an outfit. Also, it would be interesting to see how you determine what accessories you use (if any) and how you modify your outfits as well. I remember you put a dress over a skirt to change how it looked, and I’d love to see more of that!

[@shalacarter6658]

I would love for you to do a video on historical architecture. Maybe then I can find out why the British tend to put their doorknobs so high on the doors.

[@maheenbaloch96]

Hey Jessica! I would love some reading material regarding Quakerism. I am abled and have just recently started to realize my privilege and I would also love some book recommendations about disabilities. ​Thanks!

[@beafbuger]

quakers are kind even if it breaks the law

[@Michelala]

They have broken a lot of laws over the years lol. They were very heavily involved in the Underground Railroad as well as being outspoken abolitionists, helping Jewish people in Europe during WWII, sending medical supplies to civilian victims on both sides of the Vietnam war helping Conscientious Objectors cross into Canada at the same time, and even now helping get refugees to safe ground. And they were often persecuted for their beliefs. For example, during the American Revolution they would not support either side, so they were ignored by the British and vilified by the Americans who often tarred and feathered them drove them from their homes by the Americans. Even after the war, thousands of Quakers emigrated to Canada because they were still being persecuted by the Americans as being 'cowards'. Then a generation later, the war of 1812 starts, and the Canadian Quakers start getting in trouble with the Military because they won't conscript or provide boarding for troops as they viewed it as aiding the war, it was particularly bad in the area North of York (now Toronto).

[@Michelala]

lol

[@jimmyrobertson4264]

I'm not a quaker but quakers seem like the true Chaotic Good to me. Be good regardless of the legality of the good you are doing.

[@katrinakollmann5265]

Fuck the law.

[@sarah-8]

anarcho-pacifism

[@vivsgm7538]

Well, you made me realize how little I know about religion. Identifying as Queer myself, I just drifted far far apart from judgemental people, and ended up boxing a lot of religions away. Now listening to you talk about your religion is an eye opening thing for me. Thank you Jessica. Your channel is full of awesome and beautiful content, and that I have Stevie Boebi to thank for introducing you to my world.

[@yeracontra]

This video made me read up on Quakerism in New Zealand (i'm a kiwi!!) and it sounds so cool. The NZ Friends really care about social justice issues. They have a lot of information on their site about prison reforms and also the Treaty of Waitangi (The NZ treaty about indigenous rights) which is awesome. This is their statement on gay relationships "Love has many shapes and colours and is not finite. It cannot be measured or defined in terms of sexual orientation. In Quaker practice we believe that we all are equally called to ministry, through our worship, our daily lives, our service to others and in the activities and celebrations of our meeting. Lesbian and gay Friends have played and will continue to play a significant part in Quaker life, thought and ministry both locally and nationally." I'm an atheist but if I were religious I feel like this would be the religion closest to my values.

[@thomasc8482]

nontheistic quakerism (sometimes called Quaker Humanism) is a thing, Godless for God's Sake - Nontheism in Contemporary Quakerism is the book to check out on it :)

[@Pumpion]

"The longest a Quaker marriage has gone on is 69 hours" Me: nice "And that was in 1969" Me: NICE

[@AstroVee]

My only experience with Quakerism is my grandparents, who are extremely homophobic, so it is really awesome to have it explained a little more in depth and by a fellow rainbow coloured person (as you so wonderfully called it!). Thank you for all the awesome information! :)

[@reveluvreveluv7257]

JanusPapers yeah no please keep quiet

[@tealkerberus748]

reveluv reveluv calling homosexuality a sin is homophobia, and no doubt about it. It's also wantonly ignorant, and generally comes from people whose own lives are not remotely as Jesus instructed his followers to behave.

[@tealkerberus748]

JanusPapers which God? Mine say they don't care who we have sex with, that's our responsibility to sort out. Therefore homosexuality is not a sin. But if you're a Christian, then you only have two commandments left: love your God, and love your neighbour. That leaves you pretty free to engage in any joyful and consensual sexual relationship you like, regardless of the gender of either party. You're free. You can be gay, it's fine. Your God just wants you to be loving about it.

[@HyacinthMedium]

JanusPapers I still don’t know which god you are talking about???

[@powerpuff4ever]

JanusPapers There is no one god. Different groups of people through history had their G-d/Gods. Who is yours supposed to be? If its the Christian God, maybe you should reread the Bible because theres no written part that defines marriage as between same sex couples as sinful all of the parts warning against homosexuality have a documented history of being mistranslated in 20th century (read less than 100 years ago) to align with the social climate concerning homosexuality. You really shouldn’t twist your God’s words to be so hateful when he is meant to love all people.

[@MikeEvansUK]

Funny old bunch the Quakers, aren't we? Well done for treating our differences with such humour and insight. I've been a Friend since 1987 and with my husband since 1991. We didn't have a Quaker marriage but we have been lovingly accepted by just about everyone in every meeting we've been to. I'm also pleased to report that I occasionally attended Meeting for Worship in Dallas (Deep in the heart of Texas - and the bible belt - unprogrammed) when on business trips and no one there even batted an eyelid when I mentioned my husband.

[@holly8535]

I’m atheist, even though I go to a catholic school, but for some reason I love to watch you talk about your religion. Your voice is so relaxing and you look so beautiful.

[@margauxqb290]

Atheist too, I find it really interesting to listen to people talking about why and how they need/believe their religion/beliefs.

[@thedisabledmermaid]

Religion is definetly interesting, im a atheist too.

[@chloemcdermott2978]

@*teatae* x I mean it depends on context if it's a sneeze or something insignificant then whatever but I personally rather not hear it after someone close to me died or that.

[@elennacruz9697]

@*teatae* x Unless you're trying to convert me or something I think it's nice, depends on the context, like this other person said. But generally I think it's just your own way of caring about other people, if it means something to you, it will mean something to me, maybe in a slightly different way. It really depends on the person and the context.

[@HL-xz8zf]

Me too. I'm an athiest but I associate religion with history. It is fascinating. I have read the Q'uran and the bible and whilst there are boring parts, I love the historical accounts almost like mythology.

[@emilymeadows6505]

Jessica, Your videos about Quakerism have been so precious and special to me! For backstory, I grew up in an extremely Baptist Evangelical church in the Southern part of the US. I went to a university that was still heavily Baptist, but the entire time, I felt very disconnected and like there was something missing in what was being taught and what I was understanding the Bible to believe. I graduated with my Bachelor's Degree in English Literature this past May, and I recently got married at the beginning of August. My husband and I both have come to a place in our spiritual walk that we wanted to find something better suited to our understandings and our beliefs. When you posted your first Quaker video, it was honestly a gift from God guiding us in the right direction. After doing research and discussing how we felt about what we've learned so far, we finally visited our local Quaker meeting this past week, and had such a wonderful experience that we are planning on going again tomorrow! Our meeting is very small, as Quakerism seems to not have made as big of an impact in the Southern US as it did up North, but it was still an amazing time. I know that sometimes it can be very difficult to talk about religion on the internet, but I want to thank you so very much for doing so, as it has encouraged me to branch out and find the place my husband and I have been looking for. One question I have that probably doesn't deserve an entire video: How do Quakers feel about converts (if you could call us that ha!), and marriages that take place outside of the meeting? If we wanted to have a ceremony within the meeting as well later on (like some people do vow renewals), would that be appropriate? Anyway, thank you so much for all the amazing videos you make! Blessings to you and Claudia!

[@Michelala]

There is absolutely no difference between someone born to a Quaker family and someone who is a Confirmed (converted) Quaker. All are equal and welcome. Talk to meeting elders about your marriage, they will be delighted to answer questions. Seriously, I have met so many Quakers because of my job and they are kindest, most welcoming and accepting people I have ever met.

[@pollyrg97]

I'm in New Zealand and just starting to explore Quakerism. Most Quakers here are Quakers ' by conviction', with very few born into the faith. There's even a vernacular term for those, like me, who come from an Anglican (Episcopalian/Church of England) background - 'quanglicans'.

[@SB-lc5qg]

Everyone is welcome! I didn’t grow up Quaker but I went to a Quaker summer camp and fell in love with the community

[@HiKatieB]

My husband and I had a Quaker wedding. The clearness committee process was terrifying. The people were lovely, but goodness, it was nerve-wracking. After that, somebody dropped the ball, and a committee to help us with the rest of the planning/implementation was not formed until 4 days before the wedding. That was great. Our wedding was amazing. A small cousin brought us a picture she colored half way through, our family and friends said the best things, and it ended with my 2 year old nephew coming and sitting on the bench with us. (Side note, my Meeting has a special marriage bench that we cart into the meeting room for weddings and its design is based on a headboard.) We didn't exchange rings, we just wore them to the wedding. In the U.S. the declarations are not standard, the couple can choose what to say, but we pretty much went with what you read out.

[@wickedest-witch]

How does divorce work/is divorce received within Quakerism? I know you said Quakers generally viewed marriage as a life long commitment, but there's lots of different possible situations that could happen. I come from a (mostly atheist/scandi Lutheran) family super full of divorce so I get curious about how other groups receive it haha :)

[@4lex4dventures96]

Another Quaker here!! Divorce is allowed in the Society of Friends. Like any decision in the Quaker faith, everyone involved is encouraged to take their time thinking and praying over the decision, and to do as they feel God is calling them to do. If the couple do decide they feel they'd be better off separate, it's generally seen as a little unfortunate, but definitely not something to look down on or condemn. Quakerism is all about healthy, strong community, which starts with strong interpersonal relationships- if that means getting out of a marriage which doesn't suit you, that's totally fine!!

[@wickedest-witch]

4lex4dventures Thank you so much for answering!

[@katalinakastrong5754]

Yeah my parents are both Quakers and they had a Quaker wedding but they are divorced now (though the certificate is still framed on the wall at my grandfathers house. Like going into the marriage in the first place, I believe they had to go through a clearness committee, which if you want to learn more about that, you can search it up on KZbin. In my case, my parents are still friends and are both very active at our Meeting.

[@shelleyq]

Oh my goodness, I am such a fan, and also a queer Quaker... I didn't realize we had the Quaker piece in common, and it makes me so happy to hear you speaking about this part of your experience. Thank you for living so beautifully into your gifts.

[@jennifera2831]

I attended a Quaker wedding years ago and it was the best wedding I have ever attended. It was so welcoming and you really did feel like you are a part of something special. I still remember. I came across your channel through falling down a KZbin wormhole. I'm so glad I did. Your happiness and strength are refreshing. Watching the way you two interact with one another makes me thing of my girlfriend and I. Thanks for the great videos.

[@jaspriest1997]

Quakers just seem like the most chill, loving people... it’s basically the only religion that encourages happiness and love to all from everyone regardless of any factors. It seems like such a lovely way to live and conduct yourself.

[@RGrace-sl4ko]

Your lipstick is so sassy and gorgeous! Watching your videos on Quakerism has opened my eyes, I had no idea about this religion (is that the right word?) beyond the name. It sounds like a very accepting and loving thing. So wholesome. That said, is there another side of the coin? Have you ever struggled with aspects of being a Quaker?

[@amybaker8617]

True fact: Some counties in Pennsylvania (United States of America) allow a self-uniting wedding license also colloquially known as a Quaker marriage license due to our Quaker roots. It's legal throughout the state but some government officials are unaware of legal rulings and will deny a request for one.

[@IfYouMeetAWolf]

But why?

[@amybaker8617]

Why would they deny a request? I think I explained that.

[@IfYouMeetAWolf]

@@amybaker8617 Oh, im sorry i missread legal for illegal lol and i got worried on behalf of the Quakers haha

[@DrinkYourNailPolish]

Screw what the government says! Under the constitution people are free to make private contracts between themselves and the government cannot interfere. Marriage is a private contract between two individuals. My husband and myself have our own private marriage contract and basically are giving the middle finger to the government. Love doesn't need permission!

[@IfYouMeetAWolf]

Sure, the ceremony of marriage is one thing, but the paper works is just bureaucracy. You know, if your spouse dies before you they know who has the right to inherit the money e.t.c. There's a reason why you could get married in a church (or anywhere really), but you're not legally married until you've told big brother. So if you don't give a damn about the benefits and drawbacks of being legally married, you do you.

[@eloiserayner360]

I started watching this channel over a year ago as a British lesbian with an interest in BSL and SSE. Over that time I learnt about your religion, felt inspired and finally made the first step in what feels like the right direction. I attended my first Quaker meeting today (in High Wycombe- shout out to local Friends!) and can honestly say they are the most welcoming people I've ever met. Your story is a beautiful one, thank you for sharing!

[@tbunny710]

I love how the Quaker marriage declaration begins with, "... I take my FRIEND, so-and-so, as my wife/husband..."

[@crustynuh]

I was honestly caught off guard when I saw this on my home page haha. I went to a Quaker school from elementery through high and I never hear anyone talk about it elsewhere. I don't really practice anymore but Quakerism will always have a special place in my heart. :) Cool video!

[@kylieeeeep]

I’ve been up all night with nausea and stomach pain and anxiety as a result of the nausea and stomach pain, but I was finally able to calm down and fall asleep when listening to your various Quaker videos... so thank you. Something about the combination of your calm voice and a topic that made me feel calm and tranquil helped me so much tonight. Weird but just wanted to share

[@AirConditioningFW]

Your previous video about Quakerism really inspired me to go to a meeting of friends close to me! I really liked it and will most likely continue to go

[@Ceibhfhionn]

Fun fact: In Pennsylvania in the US, even non-Quakers can have "self-uniting" weddings based on Quaker tradition! This allows them to solemnize their marriage with only witnesses and no officiant, as in Jess and Claud’s wedding. It was a great option for my sister and brother-in law, as a secular couple committed to egalitarian marriage. A couple don’t have be Quaker or even theistic to do this in PA.

[@Naptosis]

"I looked a mess" never have I heard a more blatant falsehood.

[@pinkrainclouds2190]

Your comment is 2 years old but I agree, my immediate reaction was "I thought quakers aren't allowed to lie?!"

[@asliwins337]

I started attending meetings a couple of years ago and only in the last couple of months did I decide to swap over from Catholicism to the Quakers in full. It was a lovely surprise to see your videos on this.

[@timbirdie8180]

As a Catholic Ive heavily also considered it as well! I love Quakerism ❤

[@ryenheart6221]

"Yay for gay" is my favorite thing ever

[@SezFrancis1]

I recently went to a Quaker Wedding 👰🏼 party 🎊 and - honestly - that’s was the first time I’ve heard of Quakerism. This video was so helpful and I have learnt a lot from your video, Jessica. You and Claude’s wedding sounded wonderful; I loved the idea 💡 of having wedding rings tied on string on a bouquet 💐. Honestly, I felt like crying for joy when I saw the pictures. Thank you so much for an awesome video, Jessica; keep on making awesome content. 🙂🦋✨

[@polarcrystal]

I'm a religious studies major in America and I think this is so cool. You've made me want to look into classes on the Quaker religion (which says a lot because I usually like east Asian religions more). Please keep making more videos on this!

[@a.bookmonkey6790]

I feel like the two jokes that sum up Quakerism are: Ask 3 Quakers a question about religion and you’ll get 5 answers My meeting has about 10 members and 11 committees

[@Musictree16]

Okay the second one is just facts

[@c.cardinot9694]

You Just described what happens with witches in general! 😆😆😆😆😆😆

[@missnaomi613]

If anyone is interested, this applies to us Jewish folks as well! 😂

[@MrsW0f0rd]

Oh my, the idea of having *everyone* sign the certificate is fantastic. I love the belief behind it of the community lifting you/your marriage up 💜 Plus having the physical record of everyone who was there? Priceless!

[@crystalkirlia4553]

Honestly, Quakerism sounds like a witch's circle. I'm not saying this in a horrible way, I myself am a witch and it sounds very similar to my circle. It's a close, loose knit group of people who come together to perform spells and rituals together, while still being able to worship (or in my case, work with) any gods or goddesses that we want to bring into the situation. Its very freeing and your religion sounds great, you should talk to harmony nice or witch of wonderlust to talk about the similarities and differences between your ways of life and thinking.

[@monicaross4013]

no. I grew up going to MFW weekly until i left home for college yikes haha the difference is that in quakerism there is no manipulation of energy or natural elements/forces. I'm not talking about magic as in light vs dark im talking about not having need for either because it is inside of all of us anyway.

[@carbonxkiwi]

Love this video. I’m Unitarian Universalist, which is often considered a quirky cousin of the Quakers (and the youth group culture takes a lot from Quaker culture although the adults are often far behind). I just got spurned from my congregation for essentially being Too Honest and Not Being Good at Having a Pretense - and not feeling enough shame about such things to change my ways - and now that I’m back in England for a bit (either a week or a month, depending on how convincing my friends are) I’m reminded of how much I loved the Quaker meeting houses when I was here in university. My home-town in the US, Providence, seems to have a fairly good Society as well - certainly very tempted. Your words and history meant a great deal to me. Snerked at the comment about feeling guilty over privileges not shared amongst others! So true. Eck, brain’s not too much in a working place but wanted to drop by a comment. Time to see if I can go and get some food in this biologic-bionic body of mine. Cheers for this video and for speaking about your religion on your channel!

[@jess.0J]

Kiwi Kaleidoscope wow, well atleast you’re real and honest and nobody should fault you for being yourself.

[@emmetcameron1026]

Funnily enough, my parents met because my dad was UU & my mom was Quaker so they had mutual friends through Liberal Religious Youth (a mixed faith youth organization in the 70s that got shut down for excessive sex drugs & rock'n'roll, according to my dad). Soooo in my case, the quirky cousins thing is literal.

[@carbonxkiwi]

Jess B I’m afraid there’s not much I’m functionally able to be than real and honest! But also truth be told I’m not sure I’d want to either way. Thank you for that!

[@carbonxkiwi]

Em Cameron That’s such a wonderful story! Thank you for sharing it - and for the validation of the quirky cousins thing XD I remember reading about Liberal Religious Youth! I’d always wished I were around to see it. Even it’s later successor in the UU world - YRUU, Young Religious Unitarian Universalists - I believe got shut down for similar reasons, though that’s the era I come from, & much the reason my congregation ended up having a problem with me: wanting to get age groups together more rather than being so age-segregated. Been so long since I’ve heard mention of LRY, seriously, thank you for that!

[@thevoid8948]

I came into the comments looking for another UU. I was just thinking that the two sound pretty similar.

[@lizardlee10]

I love this series! Going through my family tree Quakerism has played a huge part, an ancestor is one of the people who brought Quakerism to America. It’s always felt like part of my family history that I should explore more. After watching your videos it feels like a better fit for me than any religious experience I’ve encountered.

[@courtneylassiter3693]

Your explanations of topics are always so easy to understand and so articulate! You would be an incredible teacher and I'm glad that you are using your knowledge and experiences to educate the youtube community on issues that you believe are important. Thanks for all you do!

[@mintjaan]

hearing about the early same-sex marriages preformed by Quakers is cool, I'd like to know more about Quakers and Activism (that's be a good topic for a Video)

[@katehall2027]

It's a huge topic. In America, for example, the Quakers were one of the earliest groups to call for the abolition of slavery, decades before the abolition movement really became widespread/popular.

[@fmcm7715]

@@katehall2027 and they set up relief projects in the areas they lived in during the time of the Irish famine.

[@mermtato]

I've never been a religious person, but if I ever felt the inclination I've thought for a long time that Quakerism would be the best fitting one. Every new thing I learn about your religion makes it seems really inclusive and lovely :)

[@krmacaulay]

Great video!! How do Quakers treat people with disabilities? For example, could you have a sign language interpreter at the meetings? Are the meeting houses typically wheel chair friendly?

[@MrsInAbox]

That's a great question

[@artsy2502]

I assume that it is all accounted for in her particular community.

[@lilymaekroese]

I'm a quaker too :) I can't speak for all meetings but I know most are wheelchair friendly, accepting assistance dogs, carers etc, anything to help people with disabilities. There are also lots of support groups within them too.

[@pins3and3needles]

Yep, they're not just accepting, but accommodating! Tho our wheelchair accessibility committee has run into issues with laws about altering historic buildings. It annoys the hell out of me because living disabled people should absolutely take precedence over buildings (and I'm a historian so i really do love historic buildings)

[@4lex4dventures96]

Kaitlyn Mac yes, we all try to be as accommodating and accepting as possible! every meeting I've gone to has had wheelchair ramps and audio amplification for the Hard Of Hearing. If there was anyone who was unable to drive themselves to meeting (or anywhere else, like the grocery store or doctor's), we'd always make sure someone in the community could give them a lift! Quakerism centers around equality, and always working to create a community which is open for everyone- and we mean everyone!

[@zombi3v]

Quakerism is absolutely fascinating and I’ve never heard about it other than pilgrims to America. Thank you so so much for making this video. In a nationwide protest against gun violence a bunch of kids from my school got into a circle and for hours we sat and when someone felt moved to say something they stood to say whatever they want. It’s wierd it happened naturally but follows that style I love it it is the closest I’ve felt to a spiritual experience

[@jrocknpoppingirl]

Jessica, you need to do read for audiobooks. Your voice is just perfect for it and I would love to hear you doing that!

[@RoryPattonDreamerOfDunsidhe]

Your Quakerism is so full of joy, which is good I was a bit down today. As always you have cheered me up. Thanks 😊😎

[@mineola_]

The wedding ceremony sounds so lovely and inclusive for everyone. 😊

[@cadybird5809]

So the cutest thing just happened. Me and my wife were watching this video while feeding our precious 10 month old baby boy. In the middle of the video he sees you and starts flirting with you. It was precious. We love your videos and always look forward to them.

[@sarahwithstars]

The more I learn about Quakerism the more it fascinates me. And there are aspects I love: The concept of truth telling+ equality is wonderful. The concept of everyone sharing your experience, ministry and teaching and wisdom is great and powerful. But all my negative experiences of religion have not come from scripture or interpretation of scripture...it's been the bad behaviour of people claiming to live the religious life. And my reservation about Quakerism comes from my experience of many people loving the sound of their own voice. In my personal opinion, the only thing worse than a self righteous, judgemental preacher in more structured hierarchical, organised religion would be a self righteous 'equal' using Quakerism to satisfy their need to minister to feel influential or powerful or just to get some attention. Because humans are complicated and not all modest and self aware enough to make decisions beneficial for all at all times.

[@Michelala]

Attend a meeting. You'll find the experience very different from what you fear. I have met many Quakers because of my job and every single one of them have been kind and open and extremely non-judgmental. There was semi recently a case of meeting in Canada opting to close partly because of some members chose to behave in a similar manner and it was agreed that the meeting could not continue with such tension. Quakers loooove their procedures and documentation so they have procedures for just about everything imaginable. When someone starts to behave in an unquaker manner there is a meeting about it to try and correct the problem. If it persists such a person could be disowned from the meeting until they apologise. There are also things like term limits on how long anyone can hold positions such as clerk or elder. And even if they do have such a title it doesn't mean they are anymore 'powerful' than another person, just that they have accepted some additional responsibilities.

[@SB-lc5qg]

I have always been very uncomfortable with Christianity and I am quite comfortable in my unprogrammed Meeting. I’d recommend trying a Meeting out!

[@meganbarnhart7769]

Civil disobedience at its finest. I was raised by Quakers that were into activism and was taught that what's right and just is what matters, and what we do before God is much more important than following segregation rules, and as you said, that led to jail for my ancestors...a lot. I read back over collected family history, and I want to jump up and cheer some of the time. I'm also proud of some of the decisions I've made, with justice being the drive behind my decisions. There are many people in our history that we can be proud of. All the power to you and your wife for finding happiness and grabbing on and living life.

[@Unic0rnSnot]

"and you know.....gay" 😂😂 Jessica you are so precious 💕💕

[@theodaxpeters4892]

I was completely ignorant of Quakerism, and honestly always have hesitations when it comes to god, and what you have described has such wonderful and amazing. I love weddings and I always enjoy hearing about people's love and their ways of showing that love toward each other. Thank you for sharing this and making us all a little bit more knowledgeable.

[@omsocnatilop]

Been waitin’ for this. ❤️

[@lydiabateman7742]

Yay! These Quaker videos make me proud to be a Quaker. Quaker weddings are honestly one of my favorite topics to explain to non-Quakers, because they're so different from "normal" weddings.

[@Rosze]

You are so amazing. I’m not religious myself but think i do want to go to some liberal Quaker event just to get to know them better. I’m also in Brighton soon any places that are must see?

[@cynthiemorris524]

Young British Quaker here, I've only just found your KZbin channel and it's super cool that you talk about Quaker stuff in an interesting way! You're amazing!

[@alidoney6624]

I was super excited to find out that there is actually a Quaker meeting house in my small town! I had no idea Quakerism was a thing a few weeks ago

[@Carol-Bell]

Good explanations, Jessica. I was born and grew up in Pennsylvania (USA); founded by a Quaker named William Penn, and known as “The Quaker State”. Yet I knew nothing about Quakerism until watching this. Thank you for good research and great explanations.

[@PhoebeFayRuthLouise]

In my twenties I attended many Quaker meetings with one of my friends. It was always very interesting to hear what people were moved to say! A couple decades later, I attended a Quaker wedding, and it was quite lovely! It was so nice to hear so many people talk about the couple! It had a completely different sort of atmosphere from other weddings because of that participation! My question is do you ever attend Quaker meetings now?

[@PhoebeFayRuthLouise]

I meant to also say that y’all were such beautiful brides! Breathtaking!

[@bellisperennis42]

PhoebeFay RuthLouise : You may want to watch the other video Jessica talked about & linked in this one - as she talks more about regular Meetings & lots more :-)

[@PhoebeFayRuthLouise]

bellisperennis42 I had watched Jessica’s first Quaker video when it came out, but my memory doesn’t work so well, so I watched it again. I entirely forgot that Jessica talks about the quiet of the meetings giving her peace! Thank you for suggesting I watch the first video for that answer!

[@bellisperennis42]

@@PhoebeFayRuthLouise No worries, I can relate perfectly - as my memory doesn't work on details :-) ... Which is why I kind of cheated and watched the first video again befor starting to watch this one, just in case Jessica would refer to that one ;-D

[@PhoebeFayRuthLouise]

bellisperennis42 That was smart of you!

[@HeatherBryant22]

I come from a small town that has most religions including Quakerism. When I have went to the meeting house and attended things I have always felt peace. It has been many years since I have gone, it now is on my to do list.

[@theodoreswift6052]

My Catholic mom recommended a really good Quaker university to my LGBT+ self when I was looking into higher education. I was like, what? And then I learned about Quakers. Good oatmeal. Great people.

[@tibicenlinnei4014]

We have nothing to do with oats 😂😢

[@Gordon705]

Thank you so very much for teaching me today. My wife and I are Unitarian Universalist and generally we UUs like to believe that we are traveling on a parallel path with Quakers. For example, UU churches were marrying same sex couples for decades before it was legal. Love is love. My wife and I entered the church together after our guests as neither of us were being given away. Thank you again and I'm going to forward this video to our minister so that she and her wife might also enjoy it.

[@nickyrondelez5046]

I love learning more about Quakerism! Could you talk a bit on how Quakers view trans and genders stuff? I've heard some religious people say that they don't agree with trans people because they think that how god created you is how you are supposed to be and changing that would be a sin. I'm curious to see how or if this is incorporated in Quakerism.

[@phoenixarcanalightwood]

These videos on Quakerism are so informative! As an eclectic pagan learning about other spiritual paths is so important to me! A lot of your core beliefs really match up with the things I believe about the world. A persons spiritual path is something so incredibly individual and I'm so inspired by you sharing yours!

[@alexandragomez2179]

American Friend just popping in to say hello, you are wonderful and thank you for all that you do!

[@idontwanttobehere818]

Hi Jessica, I know you, probably won’t see this as this is quite an old video, but I just wanted to say you have really helped me in exploring my faith. It’s been something I’ve contemplated for a long time as I’ve always considered myself theist as I haven’t found any mainstream teachings in my little rural town I live in that I agree with. However listening to someone just like me, a queer, disabled, women speak so positively about an accepting church where I can belong makes me so happy. A friend and I are going to go to our first Quaker meeting as soon as possible and hopefully find happiness. Thank you for making a scared teen happy :)

[@MrsInAbox]

Fascinating about the no photos during the ceremony. We have a Quaker group here (Australia) who Livestream their meetings for those who cannot attend. I suppose it's different as the camera is set up before hand, then no one needs to monitor or run it.

[@prettybyaccident]

I’ve been to several Quaker meetings here in the US and I’ve loved them because the silence is so refreshing.

[@kenessepolutele8458]

love you and Claudia (as well as Walter and Tilly ofc) 💛

[@LeeCornsweet]

This video made me really happy! I grew up in a Quaker home, and my parents had a Quaker wedding, their certificate is hanging in our hallway at home and it always makes me happy to look at it. I don’t usually see many people talking about being Quaker outside of meeting, so it’s really great to see someone with a platform like yours talking about it! It also reminds me of my grandmas’ wedding that happened as soon as gay marriage was legalised in NZ; now, neither of them are actually related to me, but I have called them my grandmas since I was little as when we moved to NZ they took on the role pretty quickly, and they were also sort of in charge of our local meeting, so when they had their wedding it was really nice. I hope that one day I’ll be able to have a Quaker wedding, even though I haven’t gone to meetings in a while because of some other circumstances, the Quaker groups have always been an important part of my life. It’s really nice to see your video openly discussing how these weddings work and how different they are from what people thing of as “traditional”!

[@thisgirl5011]

I've only heard of the unorthodox one, the UK conservative one in UK is pretty awesome. If only more religions were like this, the world would be a better place, also your voice is very soothing and calming Jessica. Thnks for sharing and explaining.

[@emm_uhh]

I was raised Quaker in the heart of the American Quaker movement in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. I enjoyed being raised in that environment and when I was exploring other religions, I have always found my self coming back to Quakerism. However, moving away from home I haven't been able to find other Quakers in my area. I was surprised to find out a KZbinr I watch is also Quaker :) its nice to hear someone talk about something none of my friends can relate too. My parents had a frugal Quaker wedding (even with my dad no being Quaker) and I hope to do the same not just for spiritual reasons, but cultural as I want to continue the tradition.

[@elijahosullivan1011]

going to looking into quakerism now, seems pretty cool, i love the sound a quaker wedding

[@Julia-gn6yl]

Jessica I just wanted to say thank you so so much for opening up and sharing about your religion! My entire life I've been searching for religion, for a community of people that believed the same as me that I could gather with and celebrate those beliefs. I'm 21 and I've explored several different religions and none of them fit. Last week, I discovered your channel through Ash, and I watched your video about Quakerism. Never in my life have I felt the way I felt after that video, it's like the whole world settled into place for me- everything I've carried with me, my beliefs and my love of God, I find in Quakerism. It's outstanding, and the more I learn about it, the more right it feels. I'm so happy and excited!! I can't believe I've never heard about it beyond the oatmeal brand -.- xD I'm in New Jersey in the USA, and I've done some research and found a local liberal meeting that I'm going to tomorrow morning for the very first time! Just typing this I can't wipe the smile off my face ^.^ So yeah, all of that is just to say thank you- thank you thank you thank you! As a queer woman from an atheist family, I never thought I'd find what I've been searching for. Your channel has brought so much light into my life. I hope you're well and can feel the gratitude I'm sending your way across the pond!

[@chrismlost99]

Thanks for this awesome video Jessica, it does seem that Quakers are one of the most progressive religions in the world. I believe that everyone has a right to marry the person they love regardless of their gender. Love is love and I supported gay marriage. I’m straight but never been narrow minded about love or anything. I believe we are one race human. God bless you Jessica and Claudia may your lives be blessed

[@vanessacarter6342]

Thank you so much for sharing your faith and your beautiful wedding. I didn’t know much about Quakers but you have shown me how wonderful all different faiths are. Congratulations!

[@susieenglish302]

God is love - its just that simple

[@aimsical285]

Very interesting! I love that everyone faces the center, the silent worship until the time is right, and that the couple enter together. Thanks for teaching us this!

[@savannapierceshimomura]

That’s really cool in US history we’re are learning about William Penn who was a Quaker and they were so sweet they were the only ones nice to the Native Americans

[@4lex4dventures96]

thank you so so much for sharing about your faith!!! I'm Quaker too, and it's so wonderful to see more Quakers sharing what we're all about! I honestly got so excited when I found out you're Quaker, this faith means so much to me and I love being able to see how others live it out in their own way!

[@abigailw.9021]

I'm a new Quaker in England, and have just started going to meeting this year. I'm LGBT+ and had struggled to find a church, and it's an absolute delight to keep finding out new things about this religion that are so close to my own natural instincts, aesthetics and heart. Thanks for the video, and congratulations on your marriage! :)

[@duckyluver12]

I love that you aren't allowed photos during the ceremony. We are not Quaker but my husband and I also chose to have a tech-free ceremony. Our friends were very very confused by this but it honestly seems like the only honest way to get married. Everyone should be totally aware and involved with everything entirely.

[@juliamartinez3775]

I really loved this video! To be honest, I kind of love ALL of your videos, but I find it so interesting to learn about new things. Quakerism is not something I knew much about (I am a recovering Catholic 😉), so I find your videos about it wonderful and very educational. It seems like something I’d be very interested in following/joining, but probably not the American version of it...if that makes sense. You asked if there was any other topics that your viewers would be interested to see...I was thinking about what your thoughts are on “aging in the LGBTQ+ community.” I am over 50 (and disabled, as is my wife) and rarely do I see myself represented on social media or on TV. Honestly, I’m so happy that you are putting yourself out there for the younger generations... I kind of feel like a proud gay auntie, but it would be fantastic (and less isolating/lonely) to see someone like me out here. Thank you for all that you are doing for our communities. 💙🏳️‍🌈 (one more thing: I am dogmom to 6 rescues, and I just love Walter and Tilly, and how much you and Claudia love them...makes my heart sing!!! 🐾❤️).

[@Michelala]

Research the various Yearly Meetings. Some of them are quite similar to the British (and Canadian) Quakers. Each Yearly Meeting is kind of like the 'head' of various meetings. Look for ones that aren't Hicksite/Orthodox as those tend to be the more structured organised religion type. Conservative meetings are likely where you'll feel most comfortable. Off the top of my head, the Canadian Yearly Meeting, Philadelphia Yearly Meeting, Baltimore Yearly Meeting, Northern Yearly Meeting, Ohio Yearly Meeting, Pacific Yearly Meeting, and the New England Yearly Meeting are typically from the Conservative (more liberal) branch rather than the Orthodox/Hicksite (more Conservative, I know, confusing) branch. The meetings that attend a specific Yearly Meeting aren't necessarily in the geographic location the YM is named for. They can hundreds of miles away so odds are there is a conservative meeting near you. And if there isn't, meetings have Quakers in Isolation programs for people who are too far from meetings to attend regularly.

[@juliamartinez3775]

kitkatkay Wow! Thank you for all that information. I live in Southern Texas, but I will definitely look around. And, you’re right...that whole “Conservative” thing is confusing (especially to my Lesbian American brain 😂).

[@Michelala]

I'm the Archivist for the Canadian Quakers, and that one took awhile for my brain to wrap around lol The Friends Meeting of San Antonio would likely be the closest to you and they are conservative :) But you can find all the Texan meetings here : www.fgcquaker.org/connect/quaker-finder/quaker/states/TX

[@juliamartinez3775]

kitkatkay thank you so much for giving me all of that information! I truly appreciate it. I’ve been particularly ill lately and research is most definitely not my strong point right now. And, nice to “meet” you! 😊

[@Michelala]

You are very welcome. Given my day job, it was such a simple thing for me to do that I couldn't not. And nice to 'meet' you too ;p

[@MsPseudonymous]

I took the belief net quiz which says my beliefs and values fall in line with Quakerism. The more I learn about it the more I like it! Thanks for the info!

[@Stone8314]

Is there any books you would recommend on Quakerism? :)

[@victoriabeckmann7167]

I'm not Quaker or religious, but I really want to borrow the marriage certificate idea for my wedding in 2 weeks. It's such a beautiful sentiment ❤️

[@RupturedSoulz]

I have a question about the photography at weddings bit. You mentioned that everyone at the wedding has to be participating but how does drawing differentiate from taking pictures? Both are capturing the moment, just in different ways. I guess the question I'm trying to ask is why is photography not considered participating? Is there a more specific explanation for participation? Is it the shutter sound going off while someone is speaking what makes it distracting? If anyone can shed a little bit of light on this, I'd very much appreciate it! I've never really heard anything about Quakerism so these videos are always a great learning experience!

[@tealkerberus748]

Rupture I wondered that too - obviously a hired photographer wouldn't be okay, but a friend who had a decent camera and knew how to use it shouldn't be prohibited from doing so. It doesn't make sense.

[@frogmouth]

yes it does. a camera no matter who wields it is distracting at a concert at a wedding or a party . people act differently because a camera captures an instant in time and is literal in a sense. A drawing takes longer and is understood to be subjective. courts allow a person sketching where they will not allow a camera.

[@anna_in_aotearoa3166]

As a totally obsessive photographer (of everything, including buildings & plants!) I would be so sad that I couldn't contribute to & participate in a Quaker friend's wedding by helping capture image memories of such an awesome time for them... 😔 This is one of my favourite things to do when attending friends' ceremonies as I know their official photographer cannot be everywhere, all the time! It's a very different style of capture however, just candid shots and not posing people (unless some attendees specifically ask for that), so I wonder if some Quakers might perhaps be comfortable with it?

[@concentricemily]

My daughter goes to a very liberal lovely Friends (Quaker) elementary school. It seems closer in spirit to your “rainbow” variety. We have really enjoyed having Quaker principals as part of her early education.

[@Paulfighteronline]

Thank you for this educational video. Your previous video about Quakerism really sparked my interest in the topic. I'm generally apprehensive about religions, but the form of Quakerism you practise seems a lot less harmful and less exclusive than most other religions. Also #yayforgay :D

[@NahlaAnwer]

Quakerism sounds so wholesome and lovely.

[@TorieKidd]

I'm not a Quaker but this sounds amazing.. I'm a humanist but this is exactly what I would want my wedding to be

[@a.bookmonkey6790]

I’m a Quaker and I have been to three Quaker weddings, but I’m still watching this whole video in part just because the representation is so refreshing

[@capriali]

Is Claudia also Quaker? If so, was she before she met you? Or is it like she supports you and all of your beliefs or has she become Quaker since being with you? I love learning about this stuff xx

[@cassandracole1331]

Alice Langman I believe she’s said in the past that Claudia is not a Quaker but does go with Jessica to meetings sometimes as a guest/visitor

[@capriali]

@@cassandracole1331 Ah okay! I couldn't remember if it had been spoken about before. Thanks!

[@sarahwithstars]

Watch the other video

[@jennymiller1974]

This celebration and ceremony of marriage sounds beautiful. Also, from your last video, I absolutely adore the idea of reflection during meetings and everyone being able to minister. It makes soo much more sense to me. My husband and I had a simular paper signed by all the guests at our wedding. It took us quite a bit to mat and frame it, too. Lol

[@nataliem7144]

I know your pain (!) Trying to explain how Paganism works when there are so many different branches with contrasting ideas on EVERYTHING... It's hard! That being said, I'm really enjoying reading your interpretation of Quakerism. It's not one I really covered in my year-and-a-day study, so it's really interesting for me! Can I ask you to cover Quaker divorce at some point? Not to cast a pall, but I'm curious whether there is a natural anti-divorce stance, or whether you're free to come and go. Whether the meeting would try and offer couples' counselling etc

[@o_foxxyfoxxy_o]

This video is so beautiful. The wedding sounds so romantic 💖 Quakerism sounds lovely from what you describe of your experience. I saw your other video about it and it was very informative. My favorite quote from this video is "we don't need to take oaths because we always speak the truth" I love the channel and I wish peace, health and happiness for you and your wife.

[@KristofskiKabuki]

Thank you for sharing this! Your wedding sounds really lovely, I'm not a Quaker but if I ever get married I reckon the ceremony is going to be heavily modeled on what you describe here. Having said that I'd be really interested to see a video about what's involved in becoming a quaker if you wanted to do one?

[@marciamusiak4103]

I just found your channel, You and your spouse are beautiful. Thank you for sharing your special day with us.