I don't enjoy it feels uncomfortable.can i refuse intimacy with my husband

I don't enjoy it feels uncomfortable..can i refuse intimacy with my husband

[@Tae96]

The comments are a mess 'cause everyone here is projecting their own feelings and experience. The sister didn't really clarify why she feels that way. But here both the men and the women have so much to say. All I know is both should fulfill their rights - including sexuaI rights, and if one is disinterested they should talk with their spouse, get counselling or medical help, and reevaluate their ownself and their marriage.

[@starryeyes469]

Most muslimahs don't like intimacy at all . They only do it as a duty to please the husband. X is the most painful and unwanted thing for every muslimah. We are just forced to do it. Its just like childbirth which no muslimahs wants to go through but has to do it. For children . Ever wondered why so many muslimahs who are independant and are from good families don't want a hubby because they have all the luxury without being intimate or to have x.

[@stopstalkingme2023]

Now i understand why the comment sections were blocked before by the sheikh.

[@lunarsensitive1]

This comment section is a mess.

[@alphauno6614]

lol true

[@BikeRaceKing10]

lmao ye

[@alpha-boss]

May ALLAH both men and women...Ameen...I feel like we're at war with each other smh

[@zenastronomy]

so many mossad trolls in the Islamic channels. i hope ppl are recognising them. 😂😂😂

[@birbsandsports]

So many feminist sisters here willing to draw their guns and wage war against a basic fundamental Islamic ruling and statement from our Prophet pbuh himself.

[@crackmellow1110]

What about the woman's right to have her sexual desires fulfilled? Many women marry mainly to not fall into zina.

[@aaziz13]

​@@crackmellow1110true most men in this comment section focused on themselves and their rights, one even commented women are selfish and have I, My thinking and etc neglecting the fact that there may be a reason why the woman is not feeling intimate and without that exploration are quick to jump into conclusions

[@starryeyes469]

​@@crackmellow1110wrong .

[@starryeyes469]

​@@crackmellow1110i am speaking the truth mislimahs marry for finacial security and brothers marry for x . None of us desires s x or mn.

[@starryeyes.469]

every sister should ask for high mahar and expenses no muslimah should comprimise in mahar, finance .

[@5pointview717]

99% of marriages only last because women do not ask for khula. 90% of marriages the wife is sexually unsatisfied because muslim men do not perform foreplay or even care if the wife has reached sexual peak as long as he feels good. Our prophet sws encouraged muslim men to do foreplay including start with kissing but I bet 80% men do not even do this simple act but skip to the 'main event'. Allah swt knows how mentally and emotionally damaging such a marriage is for females hence Alhamduliilah for the right to Khula.

[@verilyhumane6056]

It might be in your case, dont stereo type all men in one category. There are men who takes time and i am sure they are a lot of them like that.

[@crackmellow1110]

​@@verilyhumane6056 i wish that was the case. Sadly reality looks different and most men are selfish

[@purplelove3666]

I just wish they would ask for khula and leave, stop thinking culturally And think for yourself ,Islam doesn't demand you to oppress yourself

[@tahirballikaya213]

I don't agree with you argument. Many men also stay with their wives for the sake of the kids and not to break the family apart and continue providing for her even though she has become fat and stopped taking care of herself after having kids. I takes 2 to tango.

[@aaziz13]

​@@tahirballikaya213wow she gave you kids and your focus is she got fat and you are tolerating that(wow arent you sabir) seriously men of today make thinking of marriage so difficult

[@zara-he3jh]

It seems the sheikh forgot to mention the most important part of the hadith which says that the woman will be cursed IF the husband is angry. In this case the husband is understanding of the situation, like any decent man would. No man with self-respect and kindness would want to force his wife to have sex with him when she finds it disgusting. I am inclined to think that the husband is fault in this sort of situation. It is very likely that the guy didn't make enough effort to make the wife like him and feel comfortable with him. It's either this, or the woman has some psychological issues.

[@AbdulGiwa]

Says the guy that didn’t watch past the 2:30 minute mark

[@zara-he3jh]

​@@AbdulGiwaand what makes you think that?

[@AbdulGiwa]

@@zara-he3jh because he did mention it.

[@zara-he3jh]

@@AbdulGiwa Okay I don't know if my brain isn't braining or it's yours cause I can't find the part where he mentions it despite watching the last part again and again?

[@monito3575]

​@@zara-he3jhgirl he definitely said it. Go to the time stamp the first comment gave you it starts with 'all night long' of you go a few seconds back your realise he says 'the angels would curse her all night long'

[@Alhaneef1444]

Give him back his mahr and get your divorce!

[@SamsungUserForSomeReason]

fr fr fr

[@alphauno6614]

Then she’s single forever unless you actively deceives another man to get married. Some people are so emotional they don’t think about consequences

[@starryeyes.469]

​@@alphauno6614then she will be happy any woman will be happy if she has to not do x. I don't understand why would she get married again once is enough no more trauma.

[@nidarahman2305]

She might have some medical problem she should check with the doctor

[@AllahsServant12]

Yes. Most commonly PCOS, fibroids or even endometriosis can cause discomfort while doing “the act”.

[@TealPipe]

Sheikh did say, if any physically harm may come on the woman, then it is her right to refuse. If there is no harm, and she only feels uncomfortable about it, then it is a sin to refuse.

[@Someone_KhabibbeatsJonesEASILY]

Nope, she's has vitamy deficiency and i know from what.

[@starryeyes469]

Most muslimahs don't like intimacy at all . They only do it as a duty to please the husband. X is the most painful and unwanted thing for every muslimah. We are just forced to do it. Its just like childbirth which no muslimahs wants to go through but has to do it. For children . Ever wondered why so many muslimahs who are independant and are from good families don't want a hubby because they have all the luxury without being intimate or to have x.

[@starryeyes.469]

@@TealPipeyou all to have the same mentality. Me me me but if a muslimah has it it's a problem. I will ask you will you agree to get married if your wife has a s x less marriage contract? Will you still provide for her? Then why do you expect having fun and get your desires fulfilled without providing money?

[@purplelove3666]

Sis, if you don't enjoy it,why don't you just leave?

[@ZowyBear]

I agree, leave and find someone who you actually have physical chemistry with just like ppl encourage men to get another wife if the current one isn't pleasing him.

[@z.a.1237]

Because May Be the problem Is not him but in herself.

[@germantutoring]

is sexual dissatisfaction a valid reason for khula?

[@alphauno6614]

Encourage people to break their marriages…may Allah give you hidayah

[@starryeyes469]

​@@alphauno6614 we muslimajs have to go through x . Which is painful and dis gusting . You all enjoy it and crave it . But what about us. And because you all crave it so often we have to do it . Think about it your wife asks you to earn 10k in a day is that right?

[@fahr.879]

[𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑭𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑫𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒐𝒇 𝑺𝒊𝒏𝒔] Anas bin Malik narrated that: the Prophet (ﷺ) passed by a tree with dry leaves, so he struck it with his staff, making the leaves fall. Then he said: “Indeed, ‘all praise is due to Allah, (Al-Ḥamdulillāhh)’ ‘glory to Allah, (Subḥān Allāh)’ ‘none has the right to be worshipped but Allah, (Lā Ilāha Illallāh)’ and ‘Allah is the greatest (Allāhu Akbar)’ cause the sins to fall from the worshipper, just as the leaves of this tree fall.” (Jami` at-Tirmidhi 3533 / Hasan)

[@Iluvchickenfry]

It's not enough context to pass a ruling tho. Does she suffer from any health issues? Usually if an adult person doesn't enjoy intimate activities, that's a symptom of some underlying physical or mental issues. It can also be a consequence of unhealthy practices during intimacy which many people perform unknowingly due to the lack of education and also due to the availability of p*rnography

[@alperenbaytimur]

He allready talked about that

[@quranhadithandsalaf]

he clearly said "without any health issues"

[@Iluvchickenfry]

@@quranhadithandsalaf health issue was just a part of my comment, I wasn't only talking about only health issues. Also I wasn't criticizing the sheikh . I was simply mentioning that the context was not enough to provide a ruling- meaning the couple have to see a scholar in person and make sure what the actual problem is; whether it's health issues, or lack of education or smth else. If it's possible to save the marriage by figuring out the problem and fixing this issues then that's best for both the husband and wife

[@muhammadmisbahuddin-ol5it]

did he not make himself clear? if she has mental issues, she still has to abide by the ruling, and if she doesn't want to do it so bad, so should just divorce.

[@Iluvchickenfry]

@@muhammadmisbahuddin-ol5it did I ever say anything about the sheikh's speech? I clearly said that the context the person provided is not enough. The couple need to see a scholar to discuss their issues before jumping to such a serious decision like divorce. My comment was about the couple, not about the sheikh.

[@Sarahbin1]

She needs help. She needs to see a doctor/ counsellor. There are many factors a woman doesnt feel anything and doesn’t want it.

[@germantutoring]

they both need to see a sex therapist who is realistic with the situation

[@starryeyes469]

Most muslimahs don't like intimacy at all . They only do it as a duty to please the husband. X is the most painful and unwanted thing for every muslimah. We are just forced to do it. Its just like childbirth which no muslimahs wants to go through but has to do it. For children . Ever wondered why so many muslimahs who are independant and are from good families don't want a hubby because they have all the luxury without being intimate or to have x.

[@starryeyes469]

many nisa strongly agrre with me . Have you ever wondered so many brothers complaining that their wives refuse intimacy ? Because nisas are not attracted to mn , dislike s x , many stay in forced marraige. Despising their husbands , life. If given the CHOICE 50 percent won't marry.

[@15l4m]

Not sure what this issue was for the woman. If she doesn’t enjoy it or it hurts. If she is in pain she needs to address it and not ignore going to the doctor. If she doesn’t like intimacy then why did she get married?

[@SamsungUserForSomeReason]

fr

[@sunshinestar2244]

More than likely she was a virgin snd csme across a man who had no idea how to please her sexually.

[@rizwanchaudhry7937]

Makes sense. You should go to a therapist for her mental/emotional issues too. As long as she is trying to overcome her issues..

[@starryeyes469]

. As a woman we are blessed with no s0xtual desires. It's easy for us to stay without a man because we have literally less attraction to them. Honestly most of us wouldn't even marry if we weren't forced to. I 😢for girls who are forcefully married . May Allah heal them. It's best to be single for us muslimahs.

[@starryeyes469]

I would love to stay single. As a woman we are blessed with no s0xtual desires. It's easy for us to stay without a man because we have literally less attraction to them. Honestly most of us wouldn't even marry if we weren't forced to. I 😢for girls who are forcefully married . May Allah heal them. It's best to be single for us muslimahs.

[@EesaChance]

Foreplay. Foreplay. Foreplay.

[@Saa42808]

Universal fact: For the majority of men, marriage is a license for sex, and for the majority of females it is a license to achieve financial security without working. So figure it out according to your culture.

[@beast33G]

Culture?

[@mdal-amin2000]

Nowadays, men don't need marriage to have sex, which world are you living in? Only good, pious Muslim men need marriage to have sex.

[@a.m.9357]

@@mdal-amin2000 Exactly. Why would any men tie themselves to only 1 (or 4) women when they can have 1000s? Plus no strings attached, no commitment, no nothing. Just enjoy and move on -- just like the "progressive" West does. And yet, Muslim men do get married and stick to only 1 woman for all their life. But the naysayers are still not happy with Islam or Muslims. 🙄

[@bastianbezon2687]

@@zinudscrazyhis point is, had it not been for Islam, we would never do it. Marriage is a protection for women, not men. We don't need to live with a woman for the most part

[@zinudscrazy]

@@bastianbezon2687 well that is one way to interpret what he said. But ig thats right

[@preciision200]

may allah preserve me from a women like this

[@epalegmail]

Maybe you could evaluate yourself and see you are not satisfying your spouse? Are you honestly thinking that if your wife doesn't enjoy sex it's her fault?

[@Handle0108]

@@epalegmail he dint say that, he said if she refuses then she is at fault. Wether she enjoys it or not is another matter

[@d.s.2636]

​@@Handle0108This is ridiculous. A man's priority should be to please the woman, too, and he should not just expect her to offer herself if she doesn't enjoy it. In that case, it should be his priority to work things out with her, so both can feef pleasure. Otherwise, there will be a lot of resentment, and thinking otherwise is delusional.

[@Handle0108]

@@d.s.2636 obviously the man should try to please his woman, but that's a separate subject from wether the woman should refuse or not. The Wife's decision should not depend on whether he is able to 'please her' or not. Each partner should not withhold intimacy from their partner, intimacy is an expectation/given, not a special 'reward' or 'accomplishment'. Intimacy is a necessary part of a relationship, and withholding that is unlawful islamically. If one is not willing to continue intimacy with their partner, then their partner has the right to divorce or find another person who will.

[@Bob-g7d1m]

Assalamu Alaikum Warahmatullahi Barakatuh, Allah*

[@fesalatijannati5677]

I think in these cases the men could get married again because it is the man's right to satisfaction as much as it is her right to be spent upon and every human, whether it is the husband or wife deserves to enjoy intimacy it's very inate within our being to enjoy intimacy just as we enjoy food, water and sleep. If he has a healthy libido and she isn't interested and doesn't want to try to be intimate with him, this will cause alot of issues in the future. Their attraction and desire for each other will drminish, thier self esteem and the ability to feel beautiful, needed and wanted will deminish. They will become like room mates and it will end in misery for both of them. Either he should marry another woman with a healthy libido or she shouldn't marry and expect her spouse to be content with a marriage with no intimacy.

[@NormAuParadis]

I was in such a marriage for 7 years he was refusing me sex because he had a foot fetish and wanted me to be made up like a doll at all times but my feet had mosquito bite marks which are permanent.

[@Arshadarsenal]

​@@NormAuParadishow did it end?

[@NormAuParadis]

@@Arshadarsenal ended in me divorcing him after 7 years of a sexless marriage.

[@Arshadarsenal]

@@NormAuParadishappens to best of us, ever discussed with anyone during marriage? May Allah bless you with a better spouce. you should move ahead ukhti!

[@NormAuParadis]

@@Arshadarsenal i tried consulting with psychologists and later on med help for his érectile dysfunction but he refused any at all medical or psychological help or visit with me to the doctors.

[@guzelfetkulina9599]

No chemistry guys, nothing will help here. I pity this sister. It is a disaster to provide your body to someone for whom u have no desires. A big trial. May Allah make it easy for her. Ameen.

[@alperenbaytimur]

Get divorced than, no one told you to marry someone you dont want

[@kdkdkdkd7308]

You speak like she didn’t had a choice to marry him. Always a victim mindset…

[@bilalallan9523]

How to fix such problem though

[@mekailkamran03]

THe man should read up on how to please a woman. it could be that they dontengage in foreplay enough. ALso it could be medical issues as well. Sometimes owmen have issues that prevent them from enjoying intimacy.

[@Alhaneef1444]

If she doesn't want sex she should get divorce (from her side) and. Give him back his mahr !!!

[@nasrullahpk22]

Thats what shiekh should have said, but he said go to court and take khula because she dont want intimicy !! Its not according to Quran and Sunnah !! Marriage is not that fragile in islam

[@Alhaneef1444]

@@nasrullahpk22 she of no need to a man without sexual relationships

[@starryeyes469]

@@Alhaneef1444 no muslimah does s x willingly.

[@starryeyes.469]

​@@Alhaneef1444a man is of no need if he cant provide luxury, mahar to a wife .

[@Alhaneef1444]

@@starryeyes.469 really 😂😂😂 says the mentally challenged

[@baybeefaat]

Enjoying intimacy is a right for both spouses, men and women

[@AarhamKaisar]

Exactly Tbh sometimes I doubt him One thing that understands there are many Hadiths that doesn't make sense

[@Bilal_is_joking]

I think most women have attitude and they're dramatic, men are chill and just wanna do it and satisfy their need so they can focus on other things in life but women don't understand that...

[@SamsungUserForSomeReason]

@@Bilal_is_joking fr

[@crackmellow1110]

​@@Bilal_is_jokingno its the fact that a lot of the times men dont do foreplay and thats very uncomfortable for women. It can physically hurt them

[@Bilal_is_joking]

@@crackmellow1110 Not every person likes foreplay, not every man is romantic, or maybe they were in their teenage years and changed later on in life, it's different for every person, I'm sure most married uncles after 10-20 years of marriage life doesn't wanna do foreplay lol, but again I'm not married so idk much how is it after you get married..I hope people find something else that makes them happy and give them pleasure apart from intimacy, like if they are not getting pleasure from intimacy after marriage then find something else, maybe some kind of sports activities, or travel or even try new food, and just be happy ...

[@ummkhadeejah6898]

I think most muslim women feel same. Because our upbringing is like that. We are always told to cover up and not show ourselves to men. Which of courses is the command of Allah. Girls are never told don't show but keep yourselves for your husband. Therefore women feel shy of their husbands also. We are never told about intimacy and all that.

[@Proparkourgamer]

this is the best part of marriage. Both the man and the woman are shy, which is completely normal, and the man should slowly approach his wife. It takes time

[@SamsungUserForSomeReason]

exactly, i hundred person agree

[@nelsonsjourney9714]

​@@Proparkourgamer yesss, this is beautiful

[@haqembassador]

So do you have a problem with the command of Allah to cover up?

[@SamsungUserForSomeReason]

@@haqembassador fr

[@SaniaParvin1010]

101 reason: Why people shouldn't marry.

[@SohailKhan47392]

😢😢

[@abigailtrumbo178]

What about severe psychological harm from years of sacrificing herself? What happens when it goes beyond discomfort to pain, panic attacks, and hatred of herself or even her husband?

[@keepingitrealinteresting]

Then get a divorce......its that simple

[@h459-l3h]

There somthing called going to the doctor to sort out the issue or going to theory as it might a physiological issue ........ don't ever imply Islam allow you to hurt your or force your self upon your wife you dumb dumb

[@lunarsensitive1]

sometimes people need individual therapy as well as marriage counseling but no one is going to stay in a marriage if their needs aren't being met. If she is that over it, then she needs to get a divorce. Like don't stay with your husband if you hate him.

[@BenjaminMilesPerry]

Have you shot your gun Abigal

[@AfrahAfzal1997]

Therapy. Therapy. Therapy. Muslims need awareness about this option!

[@muhammadyawar4612]

Get another wife

[@2livinjannah]

Get another husband

[@muhammadyawar4612]

@@2livinjannah new husband ain't sticking around if he's getting no action. Why would someone do that ? 😂

[@muhammadyawar4612]

@@2livinjannah but yes you could get another husband if you wanted. No one is wrong for fulfilling their desires in a halal way. If a husband can't get it at home he can't spend the rest of his life bottling up his needs. Better get another wife than to commit zina

[@fatik870]

Best solution, both get new spouses

[@starryeyes469]

​@@muhammadyawar4612The only obligations on the wife that are made by the marriage contract are those which are required for sexual intimacy. Maintenance is actually due on the husband, and services like cooking and cleaning etc. are really a form of maintenance . But still a woman is asked to even have s x , even cook and clean etc . While the husband only provides money for food, clothing . A man pays the mahr to the wife for intimacy , if he can't provide then he has no right for x .

[@zafareqbal2893]

may allah save us from such women

[@aaziz13]

May Allah save us from such men who don't fulfil women's emotional rights but want their sexual rights

[@ZowyBear]

Ameen and may Allah save women from husbands that they are not attracted to, so that this issue doesn't continue.

[@alpha-boss]

May ALLAH guide both men and women...Ameen.. We are not supposed to be at war with each other

[@alpha-boss]

@@ZowyBear If they are not attracted to them why marry them? Attraction goes both ways. Not just for the woman. We are all beautiful differently.

[@ZowyBear]

@@alpha-boss generally because women aren't encouraged to choose attraction first, they tend to overlook those things and focus on what they can work with, and later down the line it becomes apparent that her problem with intimacy is because she isn't feeling him.

[@tr7862002]

why is the sheikh and everyone assuming he is providing for her? many men don't work, and many times it's the woman who is working and she is the one providing, then what will be the answer?

[@Otto45]

Why are you assuming that every man who asks his wife for sex, is a dead beat?

[@ltchyface]

because it wasnt stated otherwise, the default position is that the man provides.

[@gcsparts]

What country u talking about where the man is a stay at home husband

[@rayhanmustakim7073]

Then answer is the husband's fault for not providing his wive.

[@a.m.9357]

IF she is providing, working, and he is not fulfilling his obligations, then why is she still hanging with him? She should bail out, get khula/divorce and move on. The Sheikh basically said, if there is no other shortcoming from his side, and if she is happy to be his wife and stay with him, then she also needs to fulfil the intimacy part otherwise he will be going elsewhere and sinning and she will be responsible for it. Of course, if there is physical issues with her then she needs to explain it and get treatment. Similarly, if she isn't turned on or excited by him, perhaps intimacy counselling for both is needed.

[@ykwtfim]

Allaah subhanahu wa ta’ala made marriage of up to four, permissible. I say this as a wife myself- we as believing Muslim women cannot both have our cake and eat it too when it comes to the issue sheikh is mentioning, medical issue or psychological issue or desire issue or whatever it is. We have to try our best to address it by all avenues possible and then seek other ways to remedy the shortcoming in the marriage, one of which is polygyny. Of course, one could choose khul3 if she really wanted to, it’s halal to do so, sure. But when I see people talking about reasons they find “acceptable” for polygyny they never mention issues like sexual problems on the part of the wife. Why divorce unless you actually just don’t love your husband? Why not be amenable to him marrying again in such a situation? Maybe he won’t want to, maybe he is one that has sabr for the issue and isn’t willing to provide for two. But why do I see so much automatic dismissal of that sunnah of marriage, especially when sexual dysfunction is so common for women across our lifespan? It is extremely common for women to have sexual issues in the several months following birth due to hormonal changes established by breastfeeding, which is prescribed in our deen. It’s a medical reality, it will happen at least to some extent to a majority of breastfeeding women especially. To those of you unmarried, don’t think it won’t happen to you. Imagine what youd do in such situations and use that soul searching to inform your marriage talks. Both men and women. We really should rearrange our thinking as an ummah and get away from modern narratives and look to our examples in Islam for our behavior. May Allaah make it easy for us all.

[@Humera-s7x]

The main fault lies in men not understanding women's psychology and biological needs. If he is stick to one woman then he should understand her emotins, her biological demands and time to time bodily and mentally changes due to her cycle, childbirth and menopausal changes. That's why in Quran, Allah has declared women as men's cultivating land. Just as the farmer ploughs his field, softens it give water and then enjoys the result similarly men should give foreplay and then enjoy. No doubt woman will also give response. But in reality men just rush from the immediate intimacy and do not try to understand and give themselves knowledge. Just read the seerat of prophet Mohammed PBUH and follow.

[@alphauno6614]

@@Humera-s7x the main fault I see in you is that you’re perpetuating the ‘typical woman’ stereotype of never taking accountability. If your husband doesn’t understand you then why don’t you take the initiative to teach him instead just defacing him on the internet along with all other men?

[@starryeyes469]

you all to have the same thinking Me me me but if a muslimah has it it's a problem. I will ask you will you agree to get married if your wife has a s x less marriage contract? Will you still provide for her? Then why do you expect having fun and get your desires fulfilled without providing money?

[@starryeyes469]

The only obligations on the wife that are made by the marriage contract are those which are required for sexual intimacy. Maintenance is actually due on the husband, and services like cooking and cleaning etc. are really a form of maintenance . But still a woman is asked to even have s x , even cook and clean etc . While the husband only provides money for food, clothing . A man pays the mahr to the wife for intimacy , if he can't provide then he has no right for x .

[@jampack4509]

If it hurts a woman, she should seek medical help not just deny intimacy.

[@rizwanchaudhry7937]

Sheikh did not adress any potential mental/emotional harm to the woman due to intimacy

[@muhammadmisbahuddin-ol5it]

it seems like you didnt understand it. if the wife is facing no physical harm whatsoever, she must be intimate with the husband when he wishes. this means that if the wife doesn't want to do it for mentality reasons, the same rules still apply.

[@haqembassador]

How is it possible to be emotionally harmed during intimacy with ur spouse?

[@abigailtrumbo178]

@@haqembassador. It’s called trauma. If you consistently feel shamed, disrespected, and used, or coerced every time, then you can begin to have dysfunction and even panic attacks like you will scream unless you just dissociate and pretend nothing is happening. Over time this makes intimacy impossible as the trauma builds up.

[@sole008]

So if the husband has mental or emotional harm he is not obligated to provide and protect her? If yes then I agree.

[@rizwanchaudhry7937]

@@sole008 yes, I'm sure nobody in their right mind would force a husband to go out and provide if he is unable to do so due to mental conditions.

[@thebeesnuts777]

Maybe it's a blessing for the sister ,/having sexual urges is distracting , and I say this as a man , sometimes I wish I never have them it can cause havoc in the mind and stops you concentrating , if the sister doesnt get excited , she shouldn't complain if her husband remarries , and the husband should recognize her as an individual and not divorce her , we aren't all the same

[@starryeyes.469]

The best idea is to marry a very old man who has 4 wives the wife will only have to do it once in 4 days . And when the hus band passes away she can enjoy the wealth no need to have s6x anymore live in luxury without any pain.

[@nasrullahpk22]

2:50 shiekh she can take khula because she dont want intimicy with her husband ?? Is it a objective rule of Deen of Allah ? Can you please provide authentic reference of women giving talaq to husband due to this reason ? I thought only husband can give talaq and women cant take khula except for severe cases !!

[@shinmonbenimaru91]

Maybe I'm mistaking but I think shaikh said she can ask for it. Meaning the husband divorces her because she isn't happy. Which then of course is totally legitimate

[@TheBeautyOfIslamWithNuh]

2:44 The Sheikh clearly said „She can ask for Khula…“

[@zara-he3jh]

I could be wrong but from what I've read, if the woman feels she cannot give her husband his rights and it's becoming extremely difficult for her, then it's allowed.

[@its_alveera_naaz]

For a woman to take Khula, she doesn't need husband's permission.

[@ItsjustmeAmzy]

What abt for people who get pain or have conditions like vaginismus

[@asiyaheibhlin7297]

I knew a sister who had this. She tried for over a year to consummate the marriage. She sought advice with me. It's a psychological issue and counseling should be sought. The husband should do what he can to ensure the wife is as relaxed as possible.

[@ItsjustmeAmzy]

@@asiyaheibhlin7297 sometimes the problem is physical tho right so what do they do then ? Ik abt how it can be mentally like from past trauma but I heard like some people have a different autonomy down there and it doesn’t allow them to have intercourse

[@asiyaheibhlin7297]

@@ItsjustmeAmzy Vaginismus is a psychological issue that has physiological symptoms. It is very rare for a woman to have anatomy that makes or difficult for intimacy. Other issues could be endometriosis or pelvic inflammatory disease- among many others. But if she's wanting intimacy, but simply cannot perform for physical reasons, then intimacy should be put on hold and a doctor should be seen immediately. Because intimacy could cause injury or exacerbate the unknown condition. But these issues are uncommon and usually the sister simply doesn't want to be intimate- and this is what he's addressing (emotional discomfort). I personally have had issues in my past, so I do understand. Mine a psychological and can sometime produce physical symptoms. It's not easy. But it also shouldn't go unchecked by a medical professional. And if the husband is insistent on intimacy then they need to go to a sheikh for counseling. Allah knows best.

[@AfrahAfzal1997]

Such a woman has to consult an intimacy expert for coaching and therapy.

[@asiyaheibhlin7297]

@@AfrahAfzal1997 Uh no. Because they promote haram concepts in their therapy.

[@theemporium5899]

A marriage is a contract with expectations. Don't be foolishly thinking that there isn't expectations but it's important to speak about these expectations before it harbors Ill feelings. Also respect and openness goes a long way.

[@Tanjirokamado19777]

Some girls doesnt like sex. Is it a sin if she isnt satisfying with wot her husband is doing. . . Ive never like sex . But because of my parents i got married to him. . . But despite that i never refuse him to av sex even though im not satisfied

[@utubebeena]

In due course, you will enjoy it. Same happen to me. I began enjoying after 40 🤭

[@Tanjirokamado19777]

@@utubebeena not in my case sis. . . M 40+ now. Eversince my young age i never liked sex till now. I dont feel anything. . . Its all rubbish lol

[@olegnurmagomedov750]

It feels inappropriate for me to say it but sis please look up different ways, some would definitely satisfy you. If normal things don't work out, visit a relevant lady doctor who may help you.

[@thebasiq3244]

Sister maybe youre Asexual

[@snazzyz8886]

Sometimes it’s a medical condition.

[@alpha-boss]

Correct me if i'm wrong but shouldn't she have legitimate reason to ask for divorce?

[@Search-about-Islam]

not being satisfied by the husband is a valid reason to ask for divorce as he is her only way of maintains her chastity so if he can’t provide that she can easily fall into haram

[@QuestForGood]

What is the legitimate reason in this scenario?

[@Search-about-Islam]

@@QuestForGoodthat the wife has told her husband of the problem and he says ‘sorry’ without taking any action to change it. the Prophet ‎ﷺ said : “One of you should not fulfil one’s (sexual) need from one’s wife like an animal, rather there should be between them foreplay of kissing and words.” i havent advised the sister in the video to have a divorce, im merely answering the question that a husband refusing to satisfy his wife is a valid reason for divorce

[@Search-about-Islam]

@@khanhamid3744 i didn’t assume it’s the husbands fault. i said ‘not being satisfied by the husband’ and as the sister said in the video she’s told her husband and he isn’t helping her he is only apologising which alludes to it being his fault. if she has a problem then it is different of course, but if you’ve read my comments you can see that i’ve said if the husband doesn’t satisfy her, not ‘if she is unable to be satisfied’

[@Search-about-Islam]

@@khanhamid3744 and as the sister said she isn’t feeling excited it is the husbands duty to have satisfy her to the best of his ability as it is the wife’s for him. a woman is supposed to beautify herself for him and make herself available, just as the husband is supposed to make himself attractive for her and take the measures necessary e.g. foreplay. many scholars will tell you that when a woman complains to them about this problem most of the time they say it is due to the lack of foreplay. which i haven’t said is this sister’s case whereas it is the case with most of these complaints

[@mayg7415]

Ladies stop wasting your time when you're young and marry early so you can marry who you like. A lot of sisters (not all) are not interested in marriage when they are young, until they reach their late 20s and 30s which leads to them "settling" for whoever is available

[@starryeyes.469]

The best idea is to marry a very old man who has 4 wives the wife will only have to do it once in 4 days . And when the hus band passes away she can enjoy the wealth no need to have s6x anymore live in luxury without any pain. 😊

[@j2shoes288]

No, she can throw him out of his house, ssk for child support and alimony. The man is finished!

[@rosegold2072]

The woman's akhira is also finished

[@lunarsensitive1]

Sharia doesn't allow for that.

[@stopstalkingme2023]

shut up kid. Let the elders deal with this

[@starryeyes469]

​@@rosegold2072The only obligations on the wife that are made by the marriage contract are those which are required for sexual intimacy. Maintenance is actually due on the husband, and services like cooking and cleaning etc. are really a form of maintenance . But still a woman is asked to even have s x , even cook and clean etc . While the husband only provides money for food, clothing . A man pays the mahr to the wife for intimacy , if he can't provide then he has no right for x .

[@muhammadhaider6071]

And do you also want the womans akhira to be finished and that she ends in hell. Evil indeed is your judgement

[@Bilal_is_joking]

If he cheats on her with another woman, I won't blame him, she's to be blamed for it..I'm not married, but a wife does not wanna be intimacy with her husband to satisfy him sounds wrong..what is he supposed to do then? Maybe find another woman to satisfy his needs?

[@TheBeautyOfIslamWithNuh]

Such a dumb thing to say. How could someone understand and wouldnt blame the man for cheating on his wife… Think before writing such an comment brother.

[@TheBeautyOfIslamWithNuh]

a comment*

[@dhanishanwar7084]

That's a sin, if you're not satisfied with ur wife u should get a divorce and marry someone else n satisfy urself in a halal way not in haram way

[@Bilal_is_joking]

@@TheBeautyOfIslamWithNuh You're dumb 😂

[@Bilal_is_joking]

@@dhanishanwar7084 Yeah I agree 💯 your reply is like a Muslim the other person replied like kafir

[@Bilal_is_joking]

Maybe she's lesbian? I mean why are you uncomfortable while having intimacy with your husband? Idk about her and what she feels but most men need intimacy to satisfy themselves so they can focus on other things in life such as studies, work..etc, imagine a wife saying to her husband she doesn't want to do it and she feels uncomfortable how about he feels? Or maybe he should get married to another woman..

[@Factual_Truth]

As-salamu alaykum. I see that you're young and might not put much thoughts into your words, but never assume such grave sins as homosexuality about the brothers/sisters in Islam, let alone publicly state this as a question. I kindly advise you to delete this comment, as you're badmouthing, slandering a Muslim/ah, which is a grave sin. Watch your tongue, as the prophet ﷺ said in the hadith: “I was with the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) on a journey. One morning I drew close to him when we were on the move and said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, tell me of an action that will gain me admittance to Paradise and keep me far away from Hell.’ He said: ‘You have asked for something great, but it is easy for the one for whom Allah makes it easy. Worship Allah and do not associate anything in worship with Him, establish prayer, pay charity, fast Ramadan, and perform Hajj to the House.’ Then he said: ‘Shall I not tell you of the means of goodness? Fasting is a shield, and charity extinguishes sin as water extinguishes fire, and a man’s prayer in the middle of the night.’ Then he recited: “Their sides forsake their beds” until he reached: “As a reward for what they used to do.”[32:16-17] Then he said: ‘Shall I not tell you of the head of the matter, and its pillar and pinnacle? (It is) Jihad.’ Then he said: ‘Shall I not tell you of the basis of all that?’ I said: ‘Yes.’ He took hold of his tongue then said: ‘Restrain this.’ I said: ‘O Prophet of Allah, will we be brought to account for what we say?’ He said: ‘May your mother not found you, O Mu’adh! Are people thrown onto their faces in Hell for anything other than the harvest of their tongues?’” Reference: Sunan Ibn Majah 3973

[@hilmyakatsuki1665]

You need to learn Islam. Muslim needs to submit to Allah. Even their will. Nobody is born with attraction of the same gender. It's a doing of shaitan

[@greatsage3666]

Or maybe she doesn't have sexual urges, or maybe she is feeling pain, maybe she is not feeling satisfied, maybe he doesn't make her feel in the mood, maybe she doesn't even like sex

[@Bilal_is_joking]

@@greatsage3666 Well I don't know how they feel, we can't really know or assume how they feel unless we meet them in person and have a conversation with them and get to know them well...but what the husband who married her and wants intimacy to be satisfied? This is his life and he married her and has to spend his entire life with her and if he can't get intimacy with her then what is he supposed to do?

[@Bilal_is_joking]

@@greatsage3666 If one doesn't like sx then why would they even get married knowing they will have to do it after marriage lol, she didn't mention any kind of pain to Shaikh, she only said she's not comfortable, idk how she's not comfortable with her own husband 😆but anyways may Allah help them

[@Alhaneef1444]

Bs what he says There is no harm in sex Women dont get hurt from that 😂😂😂😂😂 thats crazy The sorcery here

[@snoopcube3333]

no, there's a condition where harm can happen. Like for example, she just had a surgery on her vagina and it's not healed yet. By having sex with her when the wound is not healed yet will open the stitches thus makes the wound open and bleed so it's not permissible.

[@lemmejustreadthethings]

It depends on what kind of intimate activites he is into... Some people are into choking and beating, which is what I assume the sheikh was talking about with harm.

[@theslashbro4474]

There is harm... you're uneducated.

[@El_Deen]

@@snoopcube3333 bruv, thats an exception. not the rule

[@halalvagenedestroyer4330]

Tell me you have no knowledge without saying it. Intimacy can be harmful if it is abrasive and no foreplay is involved. The woman requires foreplay to get her region ready - if not, she will be tight which causes it to be more hurtful to them. You can use products such a lubrication but some men like yourself have no knowledge.

[@AarhamKaisar]

No offence but disagree button He didn't give any reference

[@ChErRyaVe20pK]

He isn't obligated to give you a reference for every damn thing he tells you. You want references, go on a website and read about it. This show isn't that long to start dropping Encyclopedias

[@kiisteric]

youve got Bukhari 4794 and 4 (nissa) :29 as references

[@AarhamKaisar]

@@kiisteric will check it later ❤️

[@tonytonymercado7326]

disAgree however you like, al-shaykh isnt saying anything based on self whims and desire and as he said, it's not his job to make you believe rather just to clarify the rulings

[@15l4m]

But Shaykh did give references. There is a Hadith in Sahih Muslim, about the angels cursing her till the morning if she denies her husband intimacy for no reason. You can look it up. This is not Shaykh’s words.

[@bigpoppaHH69]

He needs to play harder

[@Someone_KhabibbeatsJonesEASILY]

"I have certainly received some knowledge which you have not received, so follow me and I will guide you to the Straight Path." (19:43) She has clearly vitamin deficiency from specific types of food, and i know which one.

[@El_Deen]

what?

[@Someone_KhabibbeatsJonesEASILY]

@@El_Deen Wdym what?

[@Nyctophileshe]

​@@Someone_KhabibbeatsJonesEASILY?? Vitamin deficiency what ?

[@usmanyaro4825]

What vitamin are you talking about? you're also concealing knowledge if you don't share.

[@Iluvchickenfry]

Yeah I suppose it's possible. Because an adult person not enjoying intimacy usually indicates some kind of health issue or deficiency or hormonal imbalance