I Finally Read Colleen Hoover ...

[@macaronimagpie]

I, a beautiful woman, was standing on a rooftop in a dazzling steampunk gown (it had gears on it). I was a thief of vintage collectibles... and hearts. I'd just stolen a rare American Girl doll worth five million dollars, and I was considering how I was going to jump across the rooftops to make my escape. That's when she approached me. The first thing I noticed about her was her massive biceps. I was already in love. For biceps like that, I might even give up my life of thieving. "Hey," she said. "My name's Savy." "I'm Gothic Steampunk Thievery." "What do you do for work?" "I work at the best deep dish pizza restaurant in Chicago," I lied. "We both know which one that is," she said. I nodded. "And you?" "I really want to become a savvy business owner, but I'm worried people will think it's too obvious." "I can see why that would be a conundrum," I said. "Live, laugh, love," she replied. I gasped, because I'd never heard such wise words in my entire life. "Live, laugh, love?" I repeated slowly. "Wow. To have thought of something like that, you must truly be a wise morning guru." "Yeah, I'm pretty deep. Haha. By the way, I'm in love with you." "Run away with me, and we'll give to charity together!" "Right, okay, but like, which charity?" "It doesn't matter, as long as we both know that billionaires are good and should not have their money taxed to build social safety nets, and that poor people deserve to starve on the streets because they don't work as hard as some guy who developed an app once. Occasionally we'll save one poor person who meets our standards with charity and then pat ourselves on the back about what good people we are." "Umm, I have to go. I have a thing." I clutched my pearls. "But I've only just met you! Can I have your phone number?" "I, uh, don't have a phone? Or social media. Definitely don't try to look me up that way." "I have a mommy fetish!" I screamed after her as she walked away, but it was no use. She ignored me. Still, I knew I'd see her again. I'd recognize those massive biceps anywhere. They were her only defining feature.

[@SAVYWRITESBOOKS]

This is the best thing I've ever read 😂

[@rhyssabev6618]

Thank you for making my day with this masterpiece! 😂❤

[@deliah3003]

Bravo! Brava! I shall begin my cosplay immediately to have ready in time for the premiere of the movie adaptation 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@chihiro8758]

Eeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeez ee e e la eeeeeeeeeeeee a pas e😂 eee je ne suis plus au eeeeeeeeeeeeezeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[@theshunnedBandersnatch]

"I have a mommy fetish!" ended me 😂

[@poniko6034]

''Lily Blossombloom'' girl that's a my little pony character not an actual name😭

[@SAVYWRITESBOOKS]

Head canon, Colleen is a secret brony

[@ChristopherSadlowski]

Nooooo! 😂😂😂

[@sleepy.timaeus.arts.]

XD honestly so real haha

[@IxiaRayne]

😂😂😂 LITERALLY! And she works in a flower shop. This also feels like Care Bears 🐻

[@intothevoid-et5ee]

Funny bc it's pretty close to my little sisters name, all the girls in my family have ridiculous flower related names. And the boys have shit like Love 😂 so it's realistic af to me especially her career as well

[@ArdenRachelArt]

Honestly, I think writing letters to Ellen Degeneres is more embarrassing than just journaling like a normal person

[@hellomello258]

Writing letters to Ellen multiple times a week is much more yikes than journaling like a lot of teenagers

[@simmyjester]

Also overdone, like Dear Mr. Henshaw or Dear Rachel Maddow.

[@Welcometotherox]

This was my first red flag for the book.

[@arguablyblooming]

@@hellomello258BandSlam did it best

[@elle8786]

Savvy, I hate to tell you this: the reason Colleen Hoover doesn't have Lily consider abortion isn't because she doesn't want to offend Christian reading groups, it's because she's pro-life and genuinely seems to believe that women who don't want have children are pure evil. A lot of her stories end with the main character pregnant, even the ones who claim to be career women

[@Faucetofstone]

Yeah Hoover's art has clearly signaled thay she is deeply deeply conservative. It why the men in her stories act the way they do that's what conservatives think "real" men are.

[@xoPotatoTreexo]

As Rachel Oates says, Colleen has never written a womb she hasn't later impregnated 🙄 Even the characters on the fence about kids end up with a whole brood in the end

[@zombieedrea]

She wrote a whole ass book about a character who's depressed because she's having trouble conceiving and basically blames her husband for it. (All Your Perfects I think it's called.) And in a vaccuum, that's not a bad premise for a book, this is something that many couples face and it's very difficult. In the hands of a competent writer, I think I could love it, or at least enjoy it and feel sympathetic. But it's Colleen. And she has a pattern, so I can't help but just be incredibly annoyed by the whole thing. The whole thing is, "our marriage is nothing if we can't have kids and I can't be happy if I can't naturally conceive a child." Which is so fucking stupid, annoying, reductive, and not at all sympathetic to those couples that have trouble conceiving. And it's also just plain insulting to all the married couples who elect to not have children. I just...cannot *stand* this woman. She's a shitty writer and her personal politics just seems too insufferable to me.

[@theshire9173]

I’m so flabbergasted that these books appeal to Christian women. There’s so much sexual content. Just shows that they’ll pick and choose their beliefs based on what’s convenient for them. (Which is not entirely a bad thing. I have catholic friends who are queer supporters and pro-choice, but I hate it when anyone bases their hateful beliefs on their religion when it’s obvious they just pick the most convenient ones)

[@sandpiperr]

@@theshire9173 Well yeah, because religious people only pretend not to be horny! In fact, these type of books are prefect for Christian women because they're erotica disguised as romance so they can pretend it's not smut, but it's also erotica that's vanilla enough to not be scary. They get to read sexy scenes, but it's in the context of white heterosexual couples, of which the man is always of higher socioeconomic status and acts in a way that is "alpha," who have mainly PIV sex, and there's the backdrop of the possibility of pregnancy occuring only making it hotter because of course all good women want children. Her target audience is conservative women who pretend they'd never watch something like the 50 Shades films when they're with their ladies Bible study group, but secretly love them!

[@ChristopherSadlowski]

"My name is Garbage Landfill Dumpster Fire. I'm a trash collector in a Colleen Hoover book. I'm not like the other girls. I'm clumsy and very kooky, and even though being a trash collector is my entire identity I have some dark secrets in my past. I also have biceps."

[@SAVYWRITESBOOKS]

She became a garbage collector to avenge her late father who was murdered by a pile of trash someone forgot to collect

[@richerthanastronauts]

hahaha i don't know you but I love you😂😂😂

[@snowballeffect7812]

How would you dispose of chairs made out of marine-grade polymer? My massive biceps were no match for them, so I decided to come ask an expert.

[@404maxnotfound]

if there is a movie adaptation this role can only ever be filled by danny devito.

[@anothermiddleschoolburnout8816]

I just got "My name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementa Raven Way, and I have long black ebony hair" vibes. Edit: I was reading the comments while watching the video and I didn't know that My Immoratal got mentioned lol.

[@Medusalaughing]

"those are the arms of a neurosurgeon" is 2024's "this is the skin of a killer Bella"

[@kiwid3628]

"These are the arms of a neurosurgeon, Lily" 💪😠💪

[@tjet34]

My husband is friends with a neurosurgeon, he's like 55 and not heavily muscled despite flying airplanes recreationally on the weekends which feels like more exercise than controlling a series of robots through surgery.

[@OptimisticAudience]

I love reading trash, but the one thing I can’t stand is trash that doesn’t want to acknowledge that it is trash. CoHo can’t just let herself do the always sunny stories she was born to write.

[@angryotter9129]

She thinks she’s better than the rest of us trash pandas and pretends she’s not in the dumpster too. Sad.

[@marocat4749]

Hell if she wants to write toxic questionable "dark romance" at least go in clear supernatural fantasy where you dont have the realism of abuse. Edward being a vampire, is making it clear fantasy, which helps. At least that :( Not that you should call dark romance with badfantasy elements fantasy

[@caranook]

I’m the same, my standards when it comes to books are admittedly pretty low and I’ll read the trashiest romance books ever written, but at least that type of book usually knows what it is and isn’t trying to seem like anything deeper!

[@botanicalag8361]

As someone who works in making custody recommendations for divorce courts, it is a PROFOUNDLY bad idea to wait until after your child is born to get a divorce 🤦🏻‍♀️ she literally ran the risk of Ryle getting primary custody of the kid. He had way more resources to be bitter and engage in legal abuse (which is a type of abuse a lot of people don’t talk about). Just profoundly stupid.

[@NoelleTakestheSky]

Well, Lily is a character who wasn’t sure if it was pregnancy hormones making her want a divorce despite the bruises he caused…. Lily’s an idiot.

[@zoekellam4083]

You probably can't get a prenatal divorce in Australia because you need a year's separation. Maybe with an off on relationship, since you can stitch together separation periods provided the 'on' periods are short. Concealment is possible though. The hospital only sends the birth certificate to the declarant, though if the marriage couldn't be dissolved the dad will be on it under the presumption of paternity rule. And they don't alert other agencies, including the family court. Hoover's text still doesn't translate, but it's because Lily says she will have to tell Ryle about the baby, not the dithering over divorcing while pregnant. Re legal abuse, I guess it was 'enlightening' for my stepmother to participate in that. She and my cad dad claimed I was 'jealous' of her in interim proceedings. It was a cover for neglect. Dad was farming me out to other relatives a lot, which was still preferable to being left to my own devices for hours at her place. Even a child could tell it was too long to be ignored. It got dark. It was nowhere near when we arrived. My own custody evaluator that time was useless, unfortunately. He bought their rot rather than digging for the facts behind my feelings. Zero forensic interviewing skills. I have betrayal trauma from that. Only mercy is that since the evaluator didn't dig there was no follow-up investigation asking my relatives I'd been farmed out to questions. So they didn't have to decide whether to lie for my dad. My evil sidekick stepmother went on to run interference for my father's last attempt at financial abuse, neatly illustrating how enablers foster escalation of mistreatment. The funny thing is that this should be crystal clear from a business degree. So many scammers in the cases that set precedents are family. It opens your eyes, not your heart - not to manipulators, at least.

[@tensugarcubes]

literally, hes a neurosurgeon. he makes more money than her ehy the FUCK would she wait and not go for full custody

[@Vampgurl202]

I think in some states, you can't divorce someone while pregnant

[@NoelleTakestheSky]

@@Vampgurl202 You can file while pregnant, but it won’t be finalized until after.

[@SaintJoi]

Ok but here's a funny thing. My name is literally Joi Weaver. WEAVER. And I'm a fiber artist and weaving teacher.

[@thoopsy]

I named myself Dottie. Then I realized that cross stitching is literally just dot based decorating. Oops!

[@latronqui]

It's a thing! My surname has to do with wood and there are many people in my family who enjoy different types of woodworking and some have made it their profession. The surnames we have come from professions or characteristics that some of our ancestors had, so the first Weaver in your family has to have been an actual weaver to end up with that name, so I think some of it must be passed down to the next generations.

[@SavageMinnow]

I have a friend who is a sommelier, and his last name means "bartender" in German.

[@SAVYWRITESBOOKS]

That's awesome!!!! I love that. And it's very old school last names

[@ThaLadyAnnabelle]

There was/is a doctor in my area who repairs stretched ear lobes and other piercing related deformations named, you guessed it, Dr. Pierce.

[@bluebirdeyes]

I think Ryle probably suddenly wanted to be an involved dad because it was a way to keep a semblance of control over Lily. Very abusive partner thing to do.

[@SAVYWRITESBOOKS]

True. Yet another reason it's a tragic ending

[@elle8786]

I was always surprised he didn't want kids, abusers love having kids, it makes it easier to control the other party

[@mariethe_patate3696]

It has the Tremblay v Daigle affair vibe... This happened in Quebec, the guy was super abusive and tried to use the Court to control his ex-girlfriend who wanted an abortion...

[@KireiC]

My partner was listening in to the end bit and agreed that the whole "it ends with us" line after divorcing Ryle really loses its punch in the epilogue involving shared custody. Feels like the better course would have been to have Ryle flip on his "I want to be an involved dad" course (which seemed manipulative given his actions to date) after she says she wants a divorce, removing *himself* and his continued potential for abuse from her and the baby's lives, before she drops the title line. Everything about this book feels so messy and muddy, I don't get it either!

[@jonathon5075]

The "not like other flower shops" bit actually killed me lmao. Hello from the afterlife

[@ChristopherSadlowski]

::gasp:: What's the afterlife like? I hope it's...decent. I better lower my expectations now so I'm not disappointed later...

[@openlyspoken]

The steampunk flowers 😂 like what?

[@michellecgb]

I’m a simple person, I see a thumbnail implying Colleen Hoover slander and I click.

[@jaymel4691]

It's not slander if it's true, lol!

[@teatime009]

nobody notices her crap about how he man is the same as barbie in cultural discussion. OKAY WHATEVER Hoover is low hanging fruit and yet...

[@Midgemer7127]

Same, really. Between Savy and the two Rachels, I’ve been more than satiated

[@Kalleron]

May I refer you Alizee as well? 😂

[@michellecgb]

@@Kalleron oh yeah, she’s a professional CoHo hater and I love her for that

[@RaxiazRedux]

I'm just picturing ryle as this floating head with giant muscular arms. No legs, no stomach, just head and arms LOL.

[@SAVYWRITESBOOKS]

To be fair I still don't know what his head looks like either. What color is his hair even???

[@8candyrox]

ryle is geodude confirmed

[@justineberlein5916]

Ah, so the anti-Rayman

[@Midgemer7127]

I pictured him as a sentient pair of Anchor Arms from Spongebob

[@Ferreneh]

Soo like that one muscular pokemon, Geodude? 😂 Cause that's what I see

[@sophdog2564]

I'm honestly not surprised that gay Devin never came back. If I brought a gay man to a party with a potentially scary person so that I could be protected, and when the scary man picks me up and asks my gay bestie if he can take me for the evening, I shake my head and he is like "yeah go for it scary man" I'm cutting him off too.

[@raewren]

The most unrealistic part of this book is she has a Masters at the age of 23.

[@hellomello258]

There are five year undergrad/master's programs, but having also graduated and worked full time is unrealistic

[@NoelleTakestheSky]

@@hellomello258 Completing those programs requires being extremely smart though. Considering that Lily didn’t consider a business plan before getting the storefront, she isn’t smart enough for an accelerated program.

[@JasmineSheaTownsend]

I earned my masters at 22 😂

[@theshire9173]

@@JasmineSheaTownsendcongratulations. You are very smart to do so

[@lordoflight2113]

I've earned my Master's at 23 lol, but only because my senior year of my undergrad and my first year of grad school were combined

[@mikankitsune0440]

I have a personal vendetta against Hoover as a DV survivor. Her stories come off to me as glorifying and romantizing abuse/abusive relationships and it makes me very worried that a majority of her reader demographic are young women between the ages of like 14 to 16. On a far less serious note as an author (and developmental editor) myself, it irks me that her books are poorly written and somehow do well.

[@elle8786]

I was a child in a house with a DV relationship, and what gets me about this is that there's no real exploration. Ryle is very obviously abusive, the abuse comes on quickly, and Lily is just like 'okay, cool.' Having been a child watching my mom get beat, I learned that anyone who treats you that way needs to go missing as long as you have an iron-clad alibi. I thought it would have been much better if Ryle were more...realistic? And we actually saw him break down Lily's confidence and support systems over time, and then the cycle of blowups and the honeymoon phase. This book is just so simple

[@Faucetofstone]

@@elle8786 Hoover has stated she doesn't do research for her books. Probably because that research would go against her obvious conservative leanings.

[@marocat4749]

And he isnt damn responsible off at least make it supernatural, like you can do that way less harmful if you make it clear supernatural to add its not real. Even if its abusive. Damn , And agnowledge she is a bad person, the throughline between her books seems to be, MC being a bad person, and she is clearly not good enough of an author to not put herself there.

[@Merdragoon]

Same as you with both points (though I'm not really an developmental editor, still working out kinks of my own story and having one book go through an alpha read when I'm able). I didn't like the romantization of those relationships, but I'm also extreamly picky on my first persons..... and she does not write good first person at all where I can only stand maybe 3 lines before I just go noping out and put the book down. I was just curious and every time I look, I don't like it. (Same with Sarah J Mass.... I can't stand her writing). I believe anyone who says that she doesn't her research because it's obvious with how she handles her stories. Sure, she's using her somewhat own experiences with seeing her mother allegaitly (according to some conversations I've read about) but at the same time it seems like all her books focuses on that one aspect which.... feels off.

[@caitlincassidyy]

Same!

[@Clarytee217]

The whole thing about these types of books that makes me angry is not how bad they are, however people want to define that. We enjoy what we enjoy and as long as we don’t hurt anyone without consent that wonderful. Where I get triggered in the true sense of the word is when people try to sell these books as aspirational or inspirational stories. NO! Go away. Twilight for example was recommended to me many times as a deep, inspiring, beautiful love story. A book to learn from. Many of these people are very smart adults. That’s where I despair and feel truly alienated from my peers.

[@SAVYWRITESBOOKS]

Agreed. It's all about expectations vs reality.

[@invaderstim8804]

You hit the nail on the head for me. Can't stand when that happens

[@sakunaruful]

People’s reading experiences vary from individual to individual because we all have different tastes and preferences. I do agree that people do hype up books the same way they do movies.

[@NoelleTakestheSky]

That’s what I hated about Twilight. I don’t care that it’s for teen GIRLS. Teen girl stuff gets crap because gifts are gross or something. What I care about is that it was aimed at TEENS, then teens were told that this is a beautiful love story. At the same time, idiot adults were saying teens know the difference between fantasy and reality, as if that excuses it. Well, teens know supernatural vampires are fantasy. They don’t know that a stalker who controls your life is supposed to be a fantasy when it’s something so many people experience for real. Now that the target audience for these books is older, and newer teens aren’t as into them, they’re funny.

[@MariaRodriguez-dx6sm]

One thing I have learned is that there are many ways to be "smart." Sometimes, there are people who are academically smart and absolutely stupid emotionally. I know too many people who are successful professionals who either have the emotional regulation of a toddler or think that drinking their problems away is just corky

[@FrumiousMing8]

"I don't want to make a decision about my marriage while dealing with pregnancy hormones. Instead I'll make the decision while flooded with labor hormones. You know, the ones that are arguably way more powerful to help your body survive the birth trauma." Girl what???

[@galwithgloves8078]

Her books feel like kids playing soap opera with their Barbie dolls.

[@Glam_Geek_Girl]

I feel like that's a little unfair towards kids-----I'm sure their Barbie soap operas are MUCH better than anything Colleen Hoover's ever written.

[@SAVYWRITESBOOKS]

maybe that's why i find them so entertaining. i used to spend entire weekends in elementary school holed up in the closet making elaborate barbie soap operas.

[@SAVYWRITESBOOKS]

@@Glam_Geek_Girl my favorite part about playing barbie soap opera was that after i finished each episode, i'd then come up with all the drama the actors themselves were going through off-screen

[@cupcakesoup]

Barbie also did not cause my lifelong issues with body image lol, that goes to my mother getting mad at my grandma and friends all buying me the ones I wanted for my birthday and complaining while also being a Beachbody coach. The only affirmations I got from Barbies were that I could be whatever career I wanted, and having EDS, 90's Barbies having those weird joints you could snap and make go backwards/upside down, I was like HEY BARBIE IS ALSO DOUBLE JOINTED. 😂

[@r.h.1988]

Same! I had platinum blonde hair as a kid and got constant dumb blonde jokes in school, but barbie could be president so I could be too regardless of my hair color haha

[@pinknblackproductions]

Yeah I never thought Barbie was what I was meant to look like. But my mum singing "you'll get fat" when she saw me snacking that was harmful

[@intothevoid-et5ee]

Monster high gave me body issues lol

[@onceuponamelody]

Lol! Yes! The 90's double-jointed Barbies!

[@cupcakesoup]

@@intothevoid-et5ee I was already about to leave high school when those came out, but it's definitely valid to have those kind of issues from dolls! I was more just joking that it was ironic that was the reason my mom hated them while she literally made money teaching women to never be happy with their bodies lol. I hope your relationship with your body has gotten easier 💗

[@hyobro8392]

Lily being scared people might think she's capitalizing off her name is hilarious because my first thougt would be that she simply changed her name or at least changed it officially to fit the theme of her shop. Who makes up theories about picking a career based off your name???

[@theshire9173]

Ask the scientists who came up with nominative determinism

[@Flareontoast]

It could've been based if she was trans and picked that name herself and just go hogwild with her love of flowers. But that's too complex for CoHo to write about

[@marocat4749]

Hell it could be a fun runni ng joke her saying in jest, yes really, but no make it that strange.

[@zoekellam4083]

Tbf the humour is a bit stranger in reverse. There's, I think by Defoe, a comic poem about people NOT matching their surnames. Yet surnames were only tagged onto average people after sickness reduced their numbers, iirc 14th century. Defoe writes around the late 17th/18th century, which is plenty of time to take up a different trade or become tall though called Short. I'd be better off with mismatches not matches being comic though. Like the Carter kids, named for virtues and vices they do not display in Terry Pratchett. My name's a match - the old spelling of Kelham village & a family based 30 miles away - and you want to be boring, not comically matching/descriptive with a name that sounds sinister. Writers already called assassins/kingpins things like Kilman (Edward II, Marlowe) and Peachum (John Gay). Our rep could easily be next up for the chop.

[@alisaurus4224]

I wish i could recall which video it was commented under-possibly one of Rachel Oates’ or Alizee’s CoHo reviews. The person said Lily Blossom Bloom is a logical name for Colleen to give a florist, because Colleen’s name is Hoover and her career is based on how much she SUCKS

[@kdisley]

56:31 "Atlas - your arms are so big! What were you doing in the Marines?" "I was in the medical corps, training as a neurosurgeon... as everyone knows, it's the one single medical speciality that can give you huge biceps." "Yeah, that tracks. Hey, why do all neurosurgeons - absolutely every one, bar none - have such huge biceps...?" "It's because you have to literally pull the patient's skull apart with your bare hands to get at the brain. That is the one and only way to perform neurosurgery, because no surgical tools exist to do the job which would be easier and more efficient." "So _that's_ the reason you can instantly tell if someone is a neurosurgeon purely by the size of their biceps?" "Yup." "Okay. That totally checks out."

[@SAVYWRITESBOOKS]

😂😂😂😂 perfect addition to the book, no notes

[@scarletsletter4466]

Interestingly, I used to work in the OR for a cardio-thoracic surgeon &… in that field, they really do have to open up the chest cavity using some muscle. 💪 😂

[@Ink_Spills]

The idea of deromanticizing the toxic love interest is a good idea for a story, but it sounds like it wasn't executed well. The fact that she dedicated it to her abusive father makes me think she might not have finished processing her own trauma and maybe that's why the tone is so back and forth. Maybe part of her is still trying to forgive her father while she is also writing about the harm he caused. That doesn't necessarily make it a good or responsible book but . . . it could be why the themes are so confusing and unclear.

[@Faucetofstone]

It's worth noting her other books very much present men objectively filled to their eyeballs with toxic masculinity as being "cool" and "sexy".

[@NoelleTakestheSky]

@@Faucetofstone Not only that, the victim’s mom defends the asshole who nearly killed her daughter in November 9, and we’re supposed to sympathize with the drunk driver who killed someone in another book.

[@katharineeavan9705]

There's no wrestling with forgiveness here - Colleen openly talks about her father as being a person she loves and respects and was a wonderful dad, and about her mum being great for never speaking ill of him. She's already forgiven him, if she even thinks he needed forgiveness in the first place.

[@royalxprincessbaka6875]

The dedication to her father is weird to me, considering this book is about the abuse he put Colleen's mother through. Especially since Colleen is thanking him for not being more abusive than he already was. Like that dictates Collen really hasn't come to terms that her father was a terrible husband and father.

[@MrsScorpionette]

Thanks for bringing to attention the two facts - that fetish books are okay to read and can have lots of questionable material that can be enjoyed, AND that mixing basically a smutty rom com with a serious story about abuse does neither story any justice. You put into words what many other reviewers missed - thank you!

[@antonioscendrategattico2302]

Extremely good point. It's also all complicated by the fact that ultimately both men and women can have very similar desires but the way society treats it is very different.

[@Faucetofstone]

Finally finished this (ADHD go brr) The reason I think that the "foreshadowing" was so inconsistent or rather hard to determine if it was foreshadowing, is because frankly, Colleen is not a competent writer. All the men in her stories also do very similar to identical things but aren't abusive. I think Colleen thinks that's just "how men show their attraction" or "Men's need to pursue." She's also openly admitted she doesn't do research for her books.

[@dresden123456]

Admittedly couldn't get through even one of her books but i think maybe she'd be less hated if they weren't framed as romance with those soft pastel covers and flowery fonts? If she only embraced the fckedupness of her stories and went for horror genre or at least dark romance...

[@Irrlichtwinter]

I personally think her writing style isn't suited to horror, but dark romance? That's a match made in heaven. Get the pastel flowers off her covers, put handcuffs and shirtless men instead, and she would be right at home in the genre.

[@pattamon9432]

Isnt Verity adversited as thriller with horror elements?

[@phoenixfritzinger9185]

@@pattamon9432YES!!! Even though I’m definitely not the type of person who Coleen writes books for I still sincerely think that she definitely had a banger on her hands with Verity Like she was actually COOKING when she wrote that book Too bad that that book seems to have been a one off for her

[@mathieuleader8601]

It Ends With Us sounds like a great title for a book on the rise of Toys R Us

[@anth636]

It Toys With Us

[@Anna-dd4rh]

@@anth636 I’d watch that horror movie in a heartbeat

[@Wh00000]

The thing is that Colleen Hoover herself doesn't seem to understand what the romance genre is, or what genre she's writing as she's writing it.

[@sandpiperr]

Sadly, in fact, she does! Read an old school bodice ripper some time. A lot of them have straight up rape scenes.

[@youcancallmedoctor]

The Tati "TIME AND PLACE" clip almost made me crash my car I laughed so hard.

[@acsw]

Yeah I have a huge issue with this book. It's similar to how my ex treated me, persisting when I said no, abusing me, assaulting me & then acting like it was all my fault that he couldn't control himself around me. This book was super triggering. & the worst part of the duet is that in the end, there are no consequences for Ryle. Fucking infuriating. Edit: love the Lil B cut-aways 🤣

[@PresleyRoxy]

In my head the marketing firm Lily works for is literally called The Biggest Marketing Firm in Boston. It’s not the big of stretch considering how Colleen names other things.

[@NoelleTakestheSky]

I’m not easily triggered, but if I was reading something sold to me as a romance, and there’s an unexpected shot to the head and brains…I still can’t see my dad’s brain as looking like anything but bread and pasta sauce. My memory has altered it due to how traumatic it is. I can handle graphic scenes of things like what I really witnessed if I know to expect it. But if it’s out of nowhere when I’m in the mindset of enjoyable fun stuff…I honestly can’t think of the words to say about this. Hoover is fucking sick with how she writes.

[@gingerjessietalks7685]

Have I watched dozens of reviews of Colleen Hoover books despite never reading them? Yes. Am I going to watch all of Savvi's videos on her books? Also yes.

[@Cozy_cozzz]

I actually know someone named Lily Bloom and used to know someone named Crystal Ball.

[@SAVYWRITESBOOKS]

😂😂😂

[@thoopsy]

My mom knew someone named Candy Cane! And Stormy Weathers, and Wendy Winters.

[@LaBruxinha]

@@thoopsy My dad went to school with sisters named Mary and Carol Christmas!

[@stephe1506]

There was a girl in my sisters year in schoon named Krystal Cleere, and someone I know was almost named either Sunny Day or Silver Nicholl depending on which of their parents surnames were chosen. Sanity prevailed and they got a normal name tho lol. Also someone christened Snow White who goes by Meg

[@NoelleTakestheSky]

All people should get one free name change when they turn 18.

[@alilbitofawesomeness]

Wouldn't it be wild if Colleen Hoover WAS the author of My Immortal? 🤯

[@SAVYWRITESBOOKS]

I think that's definitely on the table 😂

[@maryeckel9682]

Oh. My. God.

[@alilbitofawesomeness]

LOL the fact that I wrote this prior to watching the whole video. The accusations are not cleared. This is my head canon now.

[@rachaelj7865]

This is going to keep me up at night 💀

[@floraidh4097]

Funny story, I started this book and wasn't sure about continuing once she mentioned her father's abuse, so I looked up a synopsis of the plot. Instead of saying she met a homeless teen it instead said she had a relationship with a homeless man and so in my head this book was about to be about a love triangle between an abuser and a homeless man who took advantage of a a teenage girl. So, I stopped reading after the first chapter. I have no regrets!

[@d_alistair-years]

I’m assuming it called Atlas a man because he was 18 and Lily was 15 when they meet but the day the dad beats him up is on the week Lily turned 16 - the age of consent in their state - and they’d agreed to have sex that week

[@RatClowns]

THE BROTHER TWIST IS SO WILD like what do you mean a child tried to stuff his brothers brain matter back into the hole he shot in him im just- speachless

[@avionpiscean33]

Oh god, I'm crying rn. When you spoke about the "no bad people" bit the video cut to an ad about the new bad boys movie.

[@scotthetzer5971]

The reason that the marine-grade polymer is so important is because it's a metaphor for Atlas. He was a marine, their relationship endured her father's abuse, and is a positive memory from her childhood. If only it was paid off

[@tyler-df3wy]

I feel like I would hate Colleen’s books at least 50% less if they were actually marketed properly. Almost all of them are classified as romance but they feel more like (very unerotic) erotic horrors Like I love some extremely fucked up toxic relationships but there’s absolutely no self awareness in Hoover books. If she leaned into the awfulness and promoted them as toxic dark romance without explicitly justifying the men’s abuse I feel like I’d be at best ambivalent to her

[@phoenixfritzinger9185]

I think the name of that genre is actually Erotic Thriller Like Fatal Attraction and all that jazz

[@tyler-df3wy]

@@phoenixfritzinger9185 oh yeah I know that’s the name of the genre but lbr none of her books are particularly thrilling. They certainly are horrifying though

[@ElfInTheFlowers]

I am so happy to see you back! Hope you're doing ok... I mean except for the blatant self-harm of reading Colleen Hoover's oeuvre!!!

[@SAVYWRITESBOOKS]

😂 thank you. Believe it or not it was entertaining

[@coco604]

Oh my god Savy your curls look STUNNING!!

[@SAVYWRITESBOOKS]

Aww thank you

[@crystalsmith2775]

I 100% believe that Colleen never considered the possibility of Lily terminating her pregnancy because there’s like zero chance Colleen herself is pro-choice. I don’t think she sees abortion as something a sympathetic person would even consider. There’s another book (I won’t say which one for spoiler reasons) where one of the main characters (whom we’re not supposed to like) is obviously dealing with a lot of trauma surrounding her pregnancy but feels trapped in it so she tries to terminate it herself at home, and the fact she doesn’t want kids and the fact she tried to end it herself isn’t painted as normal and sympathetic, but proof that she’s an irredeemable monster. So yeah. Lily was never going to consider terminating that pregnancy.

[@TheBonkleFox]

Opening this up and youtube giving me a suicide prevention hotline number is definitely telling me that this is gonna be a hell of a ride.

[@isaacbenrubi9613]

Yo, Savy! You ever rage because of a spilled casserole? Yeah me neither. Also, 7th Heaven + Always Sunny = It's Always Heaven In Sevenelphia... maybe? I might be intoxicated and thinking about this too hard.

[@SAVYWRITESBOOKS]

It's always seven in heaven, and its sequel, it's 5 o clock somewhere

[@isaacbenrubi9613]

@SAVYWRITESBOOKS I'm still waiting for "big tiddy goth florist with an undetermined amount of funding" to become a full-on niche in the fashion industry.

[@Raideortega]

"...exactly the same enjoyment that I get from Tommy Wiseau if we're going by writing quality or Neil Breen if we're going by devotion to the craft of storytelling and consistent artistic vision..." STOP STOP SHE'S ALREADY DEAD Christ Savy you didn't have to do her like that... ...actually yeah you did, nvm

[@Scatscar1985]

Buzz Lightyear can't fly, he falls with style!

[@SAVYWRITESBOOKS]

😂😂😂

[@bulbasaurevolved]

Big Bicep Privilege!! I’ve been biking a ton lately and I’m hoping to get Big Quad Privilege eventually

[@IxiaRayne]

WAIT WHAT?! I was convinced you’d say “magical number of 500k” and not 100k. DUDE YOUR VIDEOS ARE SO GOOD!! How do people sleep on this channel?? It’s one of my favourite when it comes to media / book analysis ♥️

[@stephe1506]

I didn't realise I wasn't subscribed 😧 thanks for the reminder to check

[@Urmumlel7025]

The name "Colleen" is the new Karen and Becky.

[@Etuceebtik]

Colleen as a shorthand for women with a terrible understanding of boundaries

[@maryeckel9682]

Ballinger, Hoover, who else?

[@irinaphoenix2169]

"Did she just say DOLLeen Hoover?" *looks up* "Oh."

[@JSJSpeaks]

It's "cranio-pagus," and it's conjoined twins who are connected at the head, and it's some of the most difficult medicine that there is to be practiced. I've watched every separation video that I have come across, it's just astounding! Loving this review, my husband has bought me some Colleen Hoover books, this was the first one I read and I did enjoy it the most, but with each subsequent book of hers I've read, I have liked them less and less. Just WAIT till you get through Verity, I have never been so angry with a written work ever in my entire life, like I threw an absolute hissy fit on and off for at least three days, it haunted me and I haven't finished another book since. I can't wait to hear if you are team skank or team letter!!

[@CriminalQueer]

I'm an hour in and I still can't get past the fact that he's called Ryle.

[@NoelleTakestheSky]

I just told my husband the men’s names are Ryle and Atlas because one gets riled up and the other thinks a lot. The look on his face…. Then I told him Lily’s name and she’s a florist.

[@maryeckel9682]

​@@NoelleTakestheSkyI was so hoping that Atlas was going to pick up a big globe at some point.

[@QueestaLoo]

I feel like this book would have been really great if Colleen Hoover had consulted actual survivors of domestic violence or organizations that support them. She has a huge audience, and she could have done a lot of work in shining light on the cycles of abuse that exist in relationships.

[@skadi5802]

The weird thing is, that her mother apparentley IS an abuse survivor? And if I'm not mistaken the book was supposed to be dedicated to her? But it somewhat seems like Hoover either hasn't unpacked the abuse she witnessed (and experienced) her own father inflicting on her mother - or she just doesn't care enough as long she can milk it for dollars...

[@antonioscendrategattico2302]

@@skadi5802 Probably the first at the start, and the second after she's made an ungodly amount of money from the book.

[@Pee-p1v]

This is so rewatchable! I have-no joke-watched it 6 times now. can’t wait for the Varity video!!

[@LilyJaneH]

I’m an asexual lesbian named Lily. Ryle’s behavior makes me more than a little uncomfortable on so many levels.

[@mintytrash]

"no one delivers an emotional read like Colleen Hoover" GIRL I CRIED HARDER READING WARRIOR CATS

[@tabathaalshalhoub1653]

As a woman who has been pregnant, several times, there is “baby brain” (where your brain shrinks) and there are hormones…. But that usually means crying because it’s cloudy on a Tuesday. It doesn’t mean I’d be confused about getting divorced from a guy who beats me and SAs me.

[@RiaJaize]

In case you see this comment before you do your Verity review, please take a look at Daphne du Maurier's book "Rebecca." I'm almost certain that Verity is a rewrite of that book, but most readers don't seem to realize that, so miss some of the background context for it.

[@SAVYWRITESBOOKS]

Thanks for letting me know! I didn't know about the similarities, so I'll look into that

[@ThatDisneyNerd]

As a healthcare professional, the scrubs on the bed are an instant ick

[@sandpiperr]

Yes, that's just gross! I mean, ngl, most people do look kinda good in scrubs. I'm apparently no exception, because when I worked a job where I wore scrubs to work (it was a veterinary clinic) I'd get hit on all time if went anywhere else while in them! However, when you know what's actually on them, there's no way you'd want them anywhere near your bed. My routine water work, no matter how hungry I was, was always take off scrubs and put in washer as soon as I got home, then take a shower, then maybe get some food and water. Because I knew that I was likely covered in pee and poop and the mites that cause mange.

[@ainsleygulden8463]

If you read other Colleen Hoover books you’ll see the trend of her being really against anyone who doesn’t want children, especially those who want to abort a fetus. It’s actually a main theme of Verity, so you’ll get to in eventually. That section where lily doesn’t even think about aborting her child is not new and that’s just how Colleen Hoover thinks, it has nothing to do with appealing to a super Christian audience.

[@malainakarpinski9499]

My problem with Hoover is that she has been a rape apologist in real life so I have a really hard time believing that some her problematic views weren't meant to be taken as a good thing. She has written scenes that are assault...and then just calls it sex including by the victim. It just seems to real to her actual words to feel intentionally out of the norm

[@victoriajankowski1197]

smells like money? why is that the most effective descriptive line ever.... like legit, It tripped actual memory circuits lol

[@carterhoule7113]

the youtube health information on every colleen hoover book review you do rlly says a lot

[@verminter]

The "Plethora" joke got me every time.

[@tyler-df3wy]

It’s honestly so funny how Colleen insists on making all her guys Super Muscular then gives them random ass jobs. Like I’ve literally never seen a super muscular doctor or pilot. They’re at best average built

[@maryeckel9682]

Surgeons have steady hands, not big guns.

[@maryeckel9682]

Surgeons have steady hands, not big guns.

[@tyler-df3wy]

@@maryeckel9682 yeah like literally what happens if Ryle did a super hard arms day and his hands are a bit shaky when he goes in to do brain surgery? Dude could kill someone by being built

[@sandpiperr]

For context, I did my graduate degree at a medical school and have worked with a lot of doctors! I can count the number I've seen on one hand, and of those two were dedicated bodybuilders. Like it was their only hobby, they were the type who brought gallon jugs of water and protein shakes to work everyday, counted every macro, and did actual competitions! People who were just regular everyday people that keep in shape to take care of themselves? Maybe one. And when I knew him he was still in medical school and under 30, so I can't gurantee that survived his residency!

[@missfuneralsong]

i swear colleen lifted that immediately-post-childbirth telling your abusive husband you want a divorce scene from the movie (and musical) Waitress

[@ThatDisneyNerd]

The lack of acknowledgment of abortion as an option and not wanting to make a decision about a divorce while pregnant cuz “hormones” is giving strong republican policy vibes that i do not like….

[@ihatemickiegee]

you finally pointed out some of the stuff in this book I don't think many people speak on. people do amazing reviews on the problems with the scenes and the big issues and everything, orr on the goofy stuff, but you pointed out what truly bothers me! maybe because im also neurodivergent (and side-notedly have insanely weird movie and tv references for everything, especially always sunny) but still. like the "wtf is the tone?" note! that happens so much in her work, where the tone is so unclear that I would believe she was making fun of him if I didn't already know colleen she felt about the book. not to mention the stupid repetitions of stuff that either is irrelevant (polymer) or SHOULD BE relevant (the firm) ...just, idk, thank you!!!

[@katharineeavan9705]

the tone is "my dad was abusive to my mother and I think he's great - here's an example of how some abusers are actually super hot and super nice and wonderful (no those aren't red flags you're wrong) and it's really sad that you have to break up because they won't stop abusing you, but you can and should totally still be besties and equal co-parents because it makes for a great goofy love story with a bittersweet ending. It's just Like How I Met Your Mother if you think about it!"

[@katharineeavan9705]

(okay, so I'm being a _little_ facetious. You get the point though)

[@KeeperoftheNight]

I remember watching Caleb Joseph's videos about Colleen Hoover and him pointing out that her books were in the young adults section of the library, which just makes everything worse 'cause no, it's not just bored moms reading this, it's teen girls. So uh, yeah. These books are marketed as hallmark romance, and probably read as romance by a teen audience. Yay.

[@MakingScents]

It sounds a bit like General Hospital in the 1980s. The big Luke/Laura romance started when a 20-something-year-old Luke R worded a 16-year-old Laura. That was my great example of true love. I stayed single.

[@maryeckel9682]

I try to explain that story arc now and people are aghast. I always hated it!

[@MakingScents]

@@maryeckel9682 I would love Savy to do a General Hospital deep dive. I would be in hog heaven.

[@MarshallL33bae]

Every time the unspecified marketing firm came up I thought of Vincent Adultman and his “business” from Bojack Hoeseman 😂

[@Shane-hx4xp]

1:05 in my state there is a town called Palmer and every time we drive by the sign I say “palm her? I hardly know her!” And it does not amuse my partner as much as it amuses me 😂

[@meghang1030]

Proof that Colleen Hoover isn't the brightest bulb in the chandelier: The phrase "Marine-grade polymer". Not because she's using it repeatedly, but because the military (including the Marines) uses stuff that's made based on what is contractually the lowest bid, not the best quality.

[@jonathon5075]

Your review did a good job representing the absolute tonal whiplash that you described this book as having.

[@elliots5898]

Another great video Savvy, I was waiting for you to cover Colleen Hoover! Her works tend to be raging dumpster fires disguised by flowery block letter covers

[@amberanthony883]

3 more? I salute you for taking one for the team. Her fandom crucifies anyone who doesn’t slurp up every book. I’m tired of this craziness

[@Wander_and_flow]

I read “It Ends With Us” and hated it, but your dad joke punchlines have somehow made it all worth it.

[@chickennuggetpaw]

13:21 this reminds me of a poem read by a character at the end of BoJack Horseman (really good show btw!! It’s on Netflix) TW for suicide, I’m gonna copy paste it down below bc it’s a really good poem The weak breeze whispers nothing the water screams sublime. His feet shift, teeter-totter deep breaths, stand back, it’s time. Toes untouch the overpass soon he’s water-bound. Eyes locked shut but peek to see the view from halfway down. A little wind, a summer sun a river rich and regal. A flood of fond endorphins brings a calm that knows no equal. You’re flying now, you see things much more clear than from the ground. It's all okay, or it would be were you not now halfway down. Thrash to break from gravity what now could slow the drop? All I’d give for toes to touch the safety back at top. But this is it, the deed is done silence drowns the sound. Before I leaped I should've seen the view from halfway down. I really should’ve thought about the view from halfway down. I wish I could've known about the view from halfway down-

[@jessica.L.edwards]

Every time you say “the biggest marketing firm in Boston,” my brain scream-sings “It’s the oldest established permanent floating crap game in New York!!! 🎶🎵” It’s been 20 years since I was in that play, but the high school theatre nerd in me is still alive and kicking. 😂

[@froznpyro]

Oh, I know Colleen Hoover...& Sarah J Maas. Not because ive read the work, but because I have to stock the shelves at work. The sheer volume of copies that sell in a day defies any logical explanation at this point.

[@kittenspit6]

She was embarrassed about journaling but not about writing Ellen Degeneres letters….?

[@ArtistFormallyKnownasMC]

“I’m a goth flower shop. I’m not like the other flower shops.” Like omg, what a pick me flower shop. 😂😂

[@nerdoftheatre]

42:30 I have not read this book, nor have I finished the video. But I chose to believe that his biceps are like that because it is a common occurrence for this man to knock on random people's doors asking for the whereabouts of someone else.

[@justineberlein5916]

25:41 Someone else who hates the overuse of spoilers! One of my favorite examples is the movie Calvary. It *is* a spoiler to reveal who actually *kills* Fr. James at the end, but if you're at all familiar with genre, Fr. James dying at the end is about as surprising as a love triangle in a Hallmark movie or the two main characters getting into a fight and temporarily splitting up at the end of a modern Disney-Pixar movie

[@megnerd8954]

...but I don't remember doing a business plan in my MBA 😂 analyzing why so many others are bad, yessss. It's just a given you know you need one!

[@JoleCannon]

I'm a high school math teacher, and I have seen a number of my students reading her books. It baffles me. I read two of them to see what the fuss was about, and oh boy, no to that. They should not be reading them.

[@KrazyKaiser]

To be fair, superman's ability to fly isn't linked to the shape of his body or the size of his muscles, so I wouldn't really put that in the "body image problem" category. But he's still too handsome.

[@bulbasaurevolved]

Love this hair color on ya Savy. Also, thanks for the video for my work day! It really helps make the repetitive data entry bits bearable, lol.

[@sciencefantastic]

This reminds me of a book I read that marketed itself as a werewolf romance, but turned out to be a bad romance w/ barely any werewolf plus half assed commentary on trauma. What is it with these authors and thinking they can manage the heavy subject matter and jarring tonal shifts while also trying to do the whole UwU fluffy romance vibes UwU

[@4796894]

I joined a book club a few months ago and the first book I read with them was Verity. I wasnt aware of CoHo at that time yet, but omg... three or four pages in and I immediately thought "who likes this???? Why did that first accident scene NOT matter???? Why are the characters so into eachother already when a traumatic event JUST happened???" I read up to eight chapters and gave up. I hated it and left the book club forever after finding out majority of people in the club loved it 😅 Wrong club.

[@hannahferrell7534]

Please please please read Verity next. It's absolutely wild.

[@thoopsy]

Seconded, I need to see if anybody else with media literacy is horrified at how they treat Verity.

[@august1837]

@@thoopsywatch Rachel oat’s video on it

[@DN-mq4td]

Regarding Vegas: For a long time Nevada was the only state without a mandatory waiting period between applying for and receiving a marriage license. That's why the elopement industry is big there, and that makes it easy to know you can essentially show up at any time and obtain and execute a marriage license right away. Most states require some kind of waiting period, some require blood tests and proof the couple isn't related with a certain degree. In the book, in Massachusetts, they'd have to wait 3 days. You can't just stroll into a courthouse and do it. If they wanted to get married right away without having to Google the marriage law and figure out the logistics for all of New England, Vegas was absolutely the easiest and best place to get it done. This video was absolutely hilarious by the way, i loved it!

[@Starlight-ue8jy]

I cannot take Ryle seriously his name sounds like an ungodly hybrid of all the 1D guys

[@Auntie.lushie]

"It Starts with us" is the sequel to this book and it's somehow worse.

[@benamisai-kham5892]

Girl not the sui hotline under this colleen hoover video 😭

[@mothlantern]

These are great! I've been listening to them when I'm up at weird hours. I'm looking forward to the last one or two, and any others you might want to do!

[@stephe1506]

Isnt Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way the name of Musk + Grimes latest genetic victim? (Sarcasm, bc their daughters name is allegedly Exa Dark Sideræl something something)

[@stephanieok5365]

The hair on Dolleen Hoover is perfect. Excellent thrift find. I also appreciate the highly specific referencing of cinema gem (costume jewelry?) of exploitation films. They sound _amazing_. 🎉

[@yensia10]

This was a great watch! I cannot wait to hear your take on Verity. It feels to me very much like a 2000s fanfic in some ways.