i finally stopped caring.

i cared too much most of my life. this caused me to lose a sense of self + quite naturally, live a life crafted and determined by others. at age 18 is when i unconsciously decided to live life on my own terms + get closer to being my most authentic self. however, there were a few bumps in the road on this journey. my actions, interests and appearance were questioned- creating a battle within making me questions myself. i found myself conforming + performing to be liked and understood, losing bits and pieces of myself in the process. the past few years is when it really began to be unbearable. the pressure of living for others interfered with the pleasure of living at all. a life isn't well lived if it isn't lived for you + on your own terms. the burden of conformity forced me to an unstable space. and for that, i am grateful. every f*ck that i ever gave vanished into thin air. who will i be if I can't be me?
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[@melee731]

I found that sometimes I do care so now I say, I do care but I will not allow how you feel about me or what you say about me change who I am or how I live my life. And that has helped me balance.

[@f4llenstarr]

What are some steps we can take to detach from other peoples opinions/judgements of us?

[@riturner]

I love this so much.

[@melee731]

@@f4llenstarr I started actively being aware of MY feelings in a situation. Did my feelings change about my outfit because someone didn’t like it? Overtime I realized that I was living off of other peoples feelings and not my own! I had to actively “be in my feelings “ to understand them and be selfish about ME and my peace. There’s more but it’s too long to add here but learning to trusting that my feelings were my own and that’s ok was a major positive step. Also the book The Four Agreements for me was such a helping me stay at peace. ✌🏽

[@ChelseaKnows117]

Yes yes yes ❤

[@lowfatdarkchocolate]

ugh I needed this so badly. I find myself feeling so deeply depressed when I'm alone, feeling repulsed that I'm in a phase of life where I'm not surrounded by community and connections in the way I crave. I want to be loved in the way that I love; I want to be part of a community and to feel cared for, remembered. I have to remind myself every single day that the right people will come to me when it's time. Or I will be brought to them. I can only control myself. Intellectually I know there's nothing wrong with my life right now, and I'm freer than I've ever been, but my heart hurts everyday with loneliness still. Struggling so hard to love myself enough to be content alone. It's a journey for sure. Thank you for this. This was everything.

[@sister2mysoul]

Think about it... loneliness is a feeling. It's not a destination or a place we're in. It's a feeling coming up for review. Checking in on us to see how we handle this feeling when it comes up. Eventually we learn to acknowledge loneliness, maybe sit with it, and begin to move thru it. Asking ourselves... how would i want the person/people to treat me if they were already in my life? From there begin to treat yourself in that way. Over time, it'll become a habit and when loneliness tries to come up... it won't feel as bad. Ultimately, you attract your Destiny Helpers/Tribe because you're now an energetic match to what you desire. ❤🙏🏽✨️💚

[@mxbvibes]

Damn I resonated with everything you said. Its really about talking it one day at a time. Trust that the right people or person will enter your life during the right season.

[@goldenhippie1984]

Building your life around the opinions, thoughts and actions of others is poison. The kind that takes awhile to recover from.

[@beans4theboys955]

This is my church. i love the way you present things- your delivery strikes straight to the heart. thank you for making me feel less alone

[@loganjernigan4065]

I wanted to cry at the beginning of the video. I’ve lived the early years of my 20’s people pleasing and I still do it. I’ve finally come to realize that it’s my mindset and I need to be here for me more then I am for the people that continue to shame me and hurt me mentally. I’ve watched two of your videos now and the self reflection that I have done after the wisdom you have shared is huge! Thank you for this and continue to share the wisdom with people like me. ❤❤❤

[@camiscrazyyy]

Your timing is perfect! ♥️

[@f4llenstarr]

I needed to hear this one today. I left my hometown some time ago to chase my dreams in this one life on earth and also travel/become who i truly am meant to be when im not surrounded by habitual enviroments where everyone expects you to be the same forever. I feel judged since I left, like there's something wrong with me for going off by myself instead of doing what the mass do. But I've started to really feel LIGHT recently, like so much weight off my shoulders, through therapy, self care, excercise, good habits etc. I feel like I'm really coming into my grown ass self now and the orange light that surrounds me is pushing away the dark light of others who have something to say. Q for anyone: What are some steps we can take to detach from other peoples opinions/judgements of us?

[@riturner]

I love this for youuu!! This is a beautiful space to be in. Sitting in silence + solitude is a huge way I practice detachment. Sometimes I even go as far as not expecting any phone calls (outside of immediate family) to hear my inner genius. When I sit still, I can finally hear and see myself. My authentic self. And as long as she’s good with me. That’s all that matters.

[@f4llenstarr]

Thank you. Just watched a few of your videos as they resonated. It's like KZbin knows my current life journey and is guiding me with some people online to watch. It really is all so simple at times. Like as you mention, just sit still, relax, observe and that in itself can really help.. Going to practice this more... @@riturner

[@asia7912]

girl you are highly underrated. i love the way you think & the way you express yourself. the rawness of your videos is literally my fav too. not a whole bunch of editing and nonsense. i really hope you get more recognition bc you truly deserve it 🫶🏽

[@eonitnas]

thank you for being vulnerable and honest with us. this video told me that i can be the best and truest version of myself without having to seek validation or approval from others. it something that will take time but i know that becoming aware and trying are the very first steps ❤

[@user-sx9sc8gs9f]

I'm a fan. Just found this tonight looking for things on what you think about me is none of my business. Thank you! Blessings on your journey.

[@NovaaSimone]

Absolutely no coincidence that I woke up at 3 AM to find this video.. felt every word and I’m so happy for you 🫶🏽

[@f4llenstarr]

flow baby!

[@_lynnloo9988]

this reminds me of willows unreleased song “Female Energy pt 1” when she says “how you feel is not my problem” it’s always stuck with me and now i see this video!

[@zigthekid1]

I love yall bruh, this our year im tellin yall 😂 for all the ppl who always felt out of place in the norm of things. Life been super amazing ever since i deleted all my socials and isolated myself 😂 even went flip phone at the start of 2024 😝"live life, breathe air. I know somehow were gonna get there & feel so wonderfulll"

[@nyeletintuli]

Crazy, I just deleted Facebook😂 I wanna get a flip phone too and just focus on living life❤ This is our year ✨

[@realgoodenergy5223]

Ongg you not lying i deleted instagram and tiktok and feel better than ever but cant help to think that i may be missing out on the “culture”

[@TheKIRRY2392]

This is so on time! Thank you.

[@user-vn6xo2tc9r]

Had to remind myself of this today ✨🧡 thank you Ri!!!

[@devinevin222]

I just watched your video on detachment and it made concepts I was aware of and believed in but couldn’t quite fully grasp sink it. It felt so good to finally understand. I just started this video and I relate so much to a lot of the experiences you describe. I started tearing up as you talked about shrinking for other people. I lived my entire life up until this point completely for other people. And in stepping away from that, I feel so lost. I thought I would start to feel like myself again but now I feel even more alien and unfamiliar than ever before. And I’m realizing it’s becausse I built my everything, my foundation, my walls and my sense of home and peace and self completely based on and around others. Now I’m starting over. I thought I was going to find myself, but now I see I am still creating who that is. Thank you for helping me on this journey. You’re such a beautiful and inspiring soul, please keep doing what you’re doing. Sending love and peace

[@eiselelua]

so on time! thank you for this ❤︎

[@chrissyholybee2259]

That was so beautiful! Thank you for sharing. I relate to everything you’re saying and I feel I’m on a very similar journey.

[@y1kesss]

Thank you for sharing, I needed to hear this

[@joelmukabire6907]

Thanks for the honesty...

[@lexthebarbuh]

I just made a video on this a few days ago. That’s crazy! Thank you for opening up. 💕

[@nicole5464]

So happy to have found this channel❤ cheers

[@jenniferjtheis]

absolutely love your channel and your genuine soul! keep going these are so inspiring.

[@greghill8144]

grateful for you, keep up the great work

[@anaortizz]

this video was so good that now I don't what to watch next

[@TheYouandme4ever]

Amazing video! Thank you for that ❤

[@_isatoo]

It’s moments like these that I’m so thankful for humans. You’re changing the world by changing yourself and sharing it with us. So much gratitude for sharing

[@SimplyNikki1982]

When I tell you that I just came home from work and needed to see you reflect back to me what I have been feeling. Thank you. Life is a series of mental gymnastics and it can be draining. When you pour to everyone’s cup but not yours. When you are doing the work and see others cutting corners. When you are passed over or feel like the token and not the acknowledged. It takes time to process. I was nodding along with what you said. We are not on the same path but I see how you pivot and I appreciate your perspective. Good luck to all of us navigating this human being experience. I can’t wait for all of us to look back at this chapter and see our blessings, abundance and strength. ♥️😮‍💨🥹🥰

[@respectfullydomonique]

Your last 2 chats have had me in tears. Your words and truth have been the way I’ve been feeling. But haven’t had the words to express it. So thank you Ri, for being your authentic self!

[@BennettYancey]

I’m entering that “IDGAF” era and it feels good AF. This is so on point!

[@PaolaGutierrez-wh5ch]

Please write a book❤

[@MindHeartBodySoul]

I resonate with your message so much! It feels like I’m taking. Blessings ✨

[@lfellows9271]

straight bars this is gas 🔥🔥

[@ambbbbrrrr]

I needed to hear this today. For years now like you I have lived in an anxious state. I grew up with a parental who I never knew what side of the coin I was getting so I was always walking on eggshells. Anxiety has basically followed me my whole life and I’m tired of it. I’m tired of wondering of if and when. And when it came to relationships I am always the one giving more/ loving more and that’s tiring me too. I have come to a point in life where I just am starting to care less.. I’ll still be that person with the big heart but I’m just starting to care less. It’s been hard cause you want to love the ppl in your life or care about certain things but… it’s time for me to get out the shell I have been in.

[@iamlexisnicole]

Baby I relate so much to this

[@rachael8692]

this came at the right time, thank you so much for sharing💓love reflections

[@thehealtrix]

This video spoke to my soul I couldn’t agree with you more! It’s amazing that you’ve overcome toxic habits to get to your amazing authentic self…KEEP GOING! 💖✨

[@algenis8552]

This video rang so many bells for me, thanks for sharing Ri, greetings from the DR.

[@nimmsay]

I’m so glad i stumbled upon your channel ❤

[@michelescott3031]

Love this 💛

[@EmpressShego]

I relate a lot to this video ❤I appreciate you opening up about this

[@LaytonObserves]

Talk to themmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

[@yungleni]

hii first

[@riturner]

Sending love back to youuu!

[@LifeofLaT]

It’s like we’re on the same journey 😭

[@myrnaj4502]

I love it, beautiful. ❤❤

[@ForeverF150]

Who sent you with this messages?! 👀😅 But fr, Thank you for sharing your story.

[@theetravelhippie]

on point as usual!

[@kelbean_]

I am heavily resonating with this here.

[@shivon.shines]

Freedom ❤🫶🏾✨️

[@nancywangui8134]

Sis,if you ever feel called to do guided meditations, kindly do them

[@katj8120]

🖤🖤🖤

[@ancientreveries]

this video was very much needed! thank you for speaking on this. 🤎

[@PlantwithNik]

Yesss queen 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[@zigthekid1]

bro what, when we finally run into the persons who truly cherish us... 😂 ima be sick to my stomach in a good way

[@cherhonda]

🧘🏾‍♀️🫶🏾📚🙏🏾🔥💜📖⚖️🌬️

[@danox2851]

❤❤❤

[@sshanmnon]

Girl what you read my journal😂 or summm ???

[@memegivens4531]

🙌🏾🙌🏾

[@RenRenMama]

❤❤❤❤❤

[@hopechiann]

Thank you Ri, I started listening to you and your husband on for the healthy hoes and your transparency helps me in my healing process because it’s easy to feel alone in your thoughts and emotions and you remind me that I’m not. I love the light you bring to this world of social media. God has so many plans for you , never change 🫶🏾

[@ElleBeatrice]

I had to learn the same. I’m 36 and still learning 🤎

[@riturner]

Definitely learning as I go.