I'M DONE BEING NICE!! It’s time I speak my truth…

[@rachelesmith3342]

Girl I feel this. I’ve recently felt so lonely because I’ve stopped being what I call the “dumpster” friend. People would dump all their issues and venting on me but when it came time for fun and memories, I was just an afterthought or somehow not invited. I was just the person that people went to when they had no one which isn’t necessarily a compliment . However can we also talk about outgrowing friendships. I have two friends that every time we meet up, they’re talking about the same low energy stuff like hookups, chasing the same ain’t ish dudes, tindr sex. And I’m only 23 but I have so much goals and high standards for my life and myself and I feel so empty in these relationships and like people are not willing to grow or let go off the toxic ish

[@3milesmeek358]

Whew you sound like me and some of my friends are still like this at 30 my God when does it stooopppp

[@Medusa777_xo]

Same girl! Find you some real friends that actually care about you

[@avee4295]

You spoke facts. "No" is a lovely word that some people are afraid to use but it helps a lot.

[@Iwasonceanonionwithnolayers]

It's a whole dang sentence 👏🏾

[@gerelinevlogs]

When my dad died, I stopped tolerating people/family members that I never wanted to tolerate in the first place. Because of how I was raised I did that, but I am done forcing myself to be nice to fake people that never deserved my energy in the first place. Knowing the only reason they cared, was because they tried to benefit of me.

[@newjerseylove1373]

THAT 👆🏾PART

[@gigachad57]

Am not old enough but if I am I will totally cut off toxic family members

[@er4896]

A conversation can only solve a problem with two people who is listening to understand not hearing to argue. I love this video and felt you on this topic.

[@sophiab5529]

I felt this so hard mine passed 6 months ago and afterwards I said I'm done with everyone's bs

[@gerelinevlogs]

@@sophiab5529 Sorry for your loss, I believe that there is a God and one day we will be forever united again. That is what keeps me moving forward. It is normal to miss someone you love it will never go away, but don't let it keep you from living your life and keep you from reaching your goals. Mine passed 16th of April this year. Two days before my 30th birthday.

[@tyraparrish1120]

“If you don’t set a standard for a relationship, the relationship will set the standard for you “

[@newjerseylove1373]

It's called...BOUNDARIES! People/family members think that they can violate you without repercussions. Establish boundaries to protect YOUR peace!

[@shamiahbam574]

Funnily enough I'm 17 so ten years younger than you. But I've had these same thoughts for the past year nearly 2 years. So thank you for pointing them out. From one black person to another thank you also for being a black role model :))

[@IsimemeEdeko]

🥺✊🏾🤍

[@cece5464]

Wow I was literally just talking about how I don’t have many friends because truly good friends are HARD to find! And I refuse to let bad toxic energy into my life just to say I have a lot of friends

[@tiyamika.yawawa1205]

Volume

[@traceylennon1204]

@CeceLew Lou Are we the same person?? I've literally expressed this comment so many times to anyone who will listen!!

[@cece5464]

@@traceylennon1204 I’m just happy to see I’m not the only one with this problem. Shows their are still good people in this world

[@tarynrolle5646]

"If there's an elephant in the room... Until it's addressed, my energy won't change" This one hit home for me. It's something my husband (we've been married for two years) and I have struggled with because he very much likes to "move on". I think it taints every other interaction and makes me feel like a pretender if I have to respond in a way that won't cause further tension or division. I'm a virgo too so maybe it is a character trait 😅.

[@mamba4ever8.24]

Omg it's definitely a virgo trait lol. In my opinion, "moving on" is something that most men have a bad habit of. They would rather you get over it than work through it.

[@chirecce12]

Very much a Virgo trait! It’s something I also struggle with

[@schauntecollins3248]

@taryn Help! My partner likes to "move on" or wax over issues without discussion or, he drops bomb type of statements and then leaves the room. HE is a VIRGO. What advice can you give this Capricorn Sis to help work through our comms issues?

[@loraineburrell532]

Hell, I'm an Aries and this is the same for me. Don't talk to me unless you're ready to address the situation, cause I'm not getting over it until we squash it out.

[@teshaniqua]

I'm a capricorn and this is soooo me.

[@tiaraterry1344]

I just turned 25 and I’ve been having the same mental battle about the energy around me, my purpose and my goals 😩 it’s DEFINITELY a rollercoaster in your 20s. This year has been A LOTT!!

[@jessicahickman5312]

Saw the notification with title and was like “ oh what we talmbout?!?” Lol

[@mamba4ever8.24]

Same lol

[@kriselvis4890]

Lol

[@alishabella7158]

Facts. No need to be nice. I'm always kind, understanding and respectful that's as much as I can give

[@prfcthell]

i definitely felt you on it feels that you’re begging when it comes to friendships. i’m always checking up on people and no one checks on me so i stopped being that person cause it got draining and lonely.

[@rinaj1604]

Yes, honestly it started to feel like I was not being treated the same way that I treat others so I stepped back and distanced myself

[@taelorr761]

Same

[@prfcthell]

@@rinaj1604 it’s definitely for the best mentally. hoping one day we find people who trusts us the way we treat them.

[@thelashayway8250]

Ikr, it gets old and it’s like if the person don’t wanna act right leave them alone, we too old to be trying to force ppl to be good friends.

[@nailahdore-tyrell6629]

👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@jujusjourney]

I’m now In my early 30s and I have to say it was around this age that you are now that I started to outgrow friends and life began to change so this is something that everyone has to deal with eventually. . . stay strong girl

[@MzTaTaLa87]

Sis!! I'm 34 and just went through this type of thing. I love my friends I do, but I'm over some of the things they do and have done. I'm tired of acting like it doesn't bother me because it does. And Idgaf who had an issue with it, but I'm done being nice!

[@ThatgirlNYE]

So I agree with you 100%!!!! Like I’m done being nice a spreading myself thin for other people or considering their opinions about me. I’m 24 and will be 25 in November. This entire year, I have been reevaluating myself because I felt so lost and out of control of my life. I had someone tell me that I’ve changed and that they miss the old me… meaning the child me that always took what everyone says and do / run with it. I had to let them know that I’m grown now, I’m not 13 anymore.

[@thelashayway8250]

Yesss I felt this like it’s hard for ppl to fathom that I’m grown now, like I’m not sum 16 year old girl anymore. And it’s really irritating when ppl don’t get that.

[@ThatgirlNYE]

@@thelashayway8250 FACTS!!!!!

[@KataraPatriece]

100% agree with everything you said. I feel as though friendships should have the same communication as relationships do. I’m also starting to realize that I am always the friend that is checking up on people and it’s always one sided and I have come to realize that I’m not okay with that anymore. If I’m putting more work and effort into a friendship, then honestly it’s not one that I am going to continue to be in, especially if the other person notices it. Loved this vent session, it made me sit back and think about some things.

[@chrystianas.9184]

@K Man who are you telling. I be feeling like I give my all to my friends and they can’t reciprocate. I be feeling like I’m the problem when they don’t respond. Chile, I’m done ✌🏾

[@ashauntecampbell4705]

Yes , people don't know how to have any type of healthy relationship and its sad

[@TheeBratzDollxox]

I’ve felt this throughout my whole life LOL

[@shajahjoseph]

Couldn’t hav said it any betterrr!!!

[@lachanashmurda9180]

I love this mindset! Although I am only 19, being a ppl pleaser is not it... Ppl will literally take advantage of you and It's just so draining. It's also about boundaries and whoever is really your friend or supporter will be able to understand

[@SarahSmythh]

This was really relatable to me right now. I’ve been friends with someone since I was 12/13, now 27 and lately just feel like I’m a “convenience friend” I am always there for her and ask her how she was doing (really doing) and only felt she asked me in return to be polite. Feel like she can’t be bothered with me but won’t say anything. I’ve tried to make plans with her ( kinda hard in these times) but she always she’s busy. Maybe she is, but I just get the feeling that it’s because it’s me and not some other of her friends, that i know for a fact she makes regular plans with. I’m done being the one to always reach out. Thanks for the insight

[@SheReaDelSol]

Also, your skin looks AMAZINGGGGGGG

[@miyaguggs3263]

girl i completely agree w you.. and i’m learning to set more boundaries with the ppl i love and actually stick w them. it’s uncomfortable but very important

[@rachaelsmart5804]

Yoooooooooo I'm only 25 minutes in but I wanted to say this. I literally had this on my chest also. You're not alone Isi. You be giving your all to others sometimes and it's like they just don't give a dime about you and only lie and say they love you. I literally broke down about this when I saw that my friends never texted me in months unless I texted them first. And we had literally been friends for over 11 YEARS. Like so sad. I felt so lonely and dumb like Idk. Why am I even saying this D: Anyone who feels the same way as I do, please know you're not alone and that I'd be there for you if you need someone. God bless you.

[@alicia.m5]

Omggggg yesss 😭😭😭 same thing happening to me atm

[@rachaelsmart5804]

@@alicia.m5 I so feel your pain. It hurts so much

[@brunomars2510885]

honestly it hurts! but I've just tried to get comfortable with not communicating with them and just reserving my friendship for people that will reciprocate my effort

[@alicia.m5]

@@rachaelsmart5804 yesss always feel like ur trying n they don’t even care to make time out for you at all. If I don’t say anything then we wud never speak

[@alicia.m5]

@@brunomars2510885 💯‼️

[@Iwasonceanonionwithnolayers]

Self awareness. Emotional intelligence. Putting in the effort to maintain good communication

[@BeyiumaRobinson]

not Isi literally speaking my mind. I am literally crying because every single thing hits home. I literally am taking a break from everyone because I just feel so drained and so tired.😌 I am beginning to hit it in my head that they treat you exactly how they feel about you and that is facts.

[@AshleighAlexia]

I really needed this. I’m a Virgo too and I’m 23 and I’ve been on the exact same wave and I’ve noticed that people are taking me putting up boundaries very personal, I’m at a point rn where I feel like they’ll get over it.

[@seravina3693]

i’m literally turning 22 tomorrow and I refuse to let ppl especially my family talk to me as a child anymore. I feel you Isi! I stay having this convo wit myself as well!

[@bibbitbobbit6952]

This was a MUCH needed girl talk! I’m turning 25 next month and I feel ALL these emotions as well. I’m done being nice too, and because of this I’m losing relationships and people closest to me and it’s hurting but I think it’s a part of the growth. It’s good to know that this is just the process of putting myself first and that a lot of young black women are doing it now.

[@nas2734]

I’m in my early 20’s just starting the art of self definition and and unlearning niceness, turning pleasing into honesty while still maintaining class and kindness. Good-luck on your journey Isi! It takes a while but with practice we can all get there!

[@karathomas03]

IMO we shouldn’t even have to teach people how to treat us. That’s so unfair. So much love and respect for you Isi❤️

[@browndiamond457]

Um..that doesn't make sense. Simply because your parents or guardian whoever that maybe is the 1st person to teach you how to treat people no matter if it's healthy or not. Plus people don't automatically know where a line is drawn with everything if you don't put it out there ahead of time. It's never smart to assume anything in life honestly or have expectation in your head but never make them known out loud in some form.

[@StarC2233]

@@browndiamond457 I agree

[@Panda72021]

While I agree that there should be a basic standard of treating someone with respect and kindness; everyone is different. Some people may need a lot of support if they're going through troubled times, while others may prefer to be left alone so they can process. Plus people CHANGE over time, so how they treated us when we were younger or at a certain point in our lives may no longer fit the bill. Some people may be treating you in a way that you do not like but THEY have good intentions, and it is our duty to say "Hey, I get that you're trying to help, but this is not beneficial to me...so if you would like me to feel supported by you, HERE'S what WOULD help". People aren't mind readers....it's a slippery slope into pettiness to expect them to be. It is our job to communicate with others if our needs are being met, whether it's with coworkers, family members, friends, roommates, political leaders. We can't just clam up and expect them to understand or identify our needs and automatically act accordingly.

[@melissalitus8879]

Facts

[@q_c2762]

I'm 17 (turning 18 in a few months) and I can soooooo relate to everything you said especially the friendship part. It's really hurtful when you care for someone, put in so much effort to make the friendship work and it's not reciprocated. Over and over again, I've tried to be nice, loving and really go all out for friends that at the end of the day just treat me like crap. I've learnt to drop all the people-pleasing and niceness and consider myself first! If you're messing with my peace, Imma cut you off real fast. I overthink too much and I'm already putting myself through so much, I can't tolerate another person putting me in messed up positions. If I love you and the friendship is worth it, I will confront you and we gon talk. if I've assessed everything and the bs is too much, I'm done, I'll ✂️ you off. I love people and if I do something wrong to someone, it's going to hurt me real bad because I have a heart, and I'm going to want to do better, but there are some people that you just have to let go of. I'm done being nice. I'm putting myself first. I'm a Christian and I daily try to live by the fruits of the Spirit (Love, Joy, Peace, etc) but I won't tolerate anyone making me feel like shit or less than I am. I look at myself every day and say "I am beautiful and I have value". I can't have someone making me feel less than that. This made me detach myself from so many friendships that just weren't worth it and I've attracted so many friendships where the energy is completely reciprocated. Glory to God. I'm grateful I stood my ground.

[@risxu]

The feed example is so true! When I finally decided to step up and respect myself enough I decided to unfollow (and delete from my followers list) 95% of my high school classmates. Before, I used to feel pressured to follow them back as courtesy, even though their content didn’t inspire me at all (I actually hated it), ignoring that at the time I wanted to keep my personal life extremely private reducing my circle to one or two people (other than my family, ofc) and wanted an inspiring Instagram feed. However, I recently decided to, as I said before, start respecting myself without feeling bad about it. I’m not apologizing for establishing the boundaries I deem necessary anymore. Unfollowed and deleted everyone, even blocked some. I’m feeling great about it!

[@camillabarbosa827]

I'm going thru the same thing at 22. I also don't know if it's an age or a Virgo thing but now I just don't accept or tolerate toxic people around me. My energy will only be invested in fruitful relationships.

[@atiyaussin9100]

I have these thoughts constantly. I’m lonely because the connections I’m looking to find aren’t the regular superficial babble and I want real intimate relationships. Watching your video helps to not feel alone and seeing the comments are assuring ❤️

[@soulfullyroyalnita]

“I am no longer going to shift myself or change myself to tame the peace” you nailed it boo 😍 Walk in your truth unapologetically, proud of you ❤️ Late 20s here and when I tell you, I’ve let a lot go for peace , best thing I could’ve ever done.

[@gracekeller16]

As someone who assumes people are sorry for my own closure, the part where you talk about no longer accepting forgiveness until the wrong doing is acknowledged really spoke volume.

[@dreamgirlxo]

20s are for developing some serious Main Character Energy. Go awwff, sis!

[@Leilamasi]

Wow you literally touched on everything that I’m experiencing right now! I’m 23 so still in my early 20s but I am going through it!! This year has just been crazy with realizing that I had toxic friendships and outgrowing other friendships as well. It’s been non stop elimination in the friendship department and it’s just reassuring to hear you talking about going through the same things! I feel like I’ve been a people pleaser most of my life and had to be nice to basically maintain friendships but once I started my spiritual journey with God like people have just been falling off and leaving left and right! It’s just been a rollercoaster of a year really discovering who I am, growing, transforming and evolving. It’s crazy because sometimes I feel like It’s too early in my 20s to be experiencing this but I’m glad I’m going through this transition now rather than later. Thank you for sharing your experiences Isi because it definitely makes me feel like I’m not crazy and alone with outgrowing friendships or friends just leaving once you start demanding reciprocation. I really needed this!!

[@xkristina1222x]

Same here 😭 it’s quite a journey

[@TheCRYSTALLURE]

“Pouringgg into others & rarely getting poured backed into yourself…” 🔨🔨🔨This video couldn’t have come at a more perfect time! The Virgo in me is soooo done with the fake backwards ass relationships in general (family, friends & romantic etc…). And the lack of reciprocation when I give so muchhh. Like I can’t do it anymore. And I’m going through it as we speak. A “friend” of mine claims they don’t want to do certain things, go certain places etc..with us. Claims they dislike this or doesn’t engage in that…yet did those very things with other people. So my mindset now is I need to stop giving people the benefit of the doubt. Stop being so ‘nice’ to how people are adamantly stepping over me & my feelings as a friend. IM DONE. People need to recognized when they are being genuine versus when they aren’t. If you see one friend picking up your slack yet you do what you want when you want to. Something needs to give. And yes the not asking how someone is doing but asking something from them is a HIGH pet peeve. It’s very odd to me. You never know what could be going on with them but you have the time & energy to ask for a favor?? Out the blue at that! Whew. I could go on…but this video was definitely needed! 🙌🏾😫🙌🏾

[@lebohangdlodlo6589]

I think this is the energy for us Virgo currently

[@traceylennon1204]

@ Sshhh I hear you!!

[@ayannabrinae5869]

I'm in my early 20's I will be 23 next May. Literally, Everything you touched on I have gone through this year. I recently decided to go back to college after a 2-year hiatus, I'm working full time and going all-in with trying to be an influencer and I was surprised initially about how lonely it's starting to get. It's been hard maintaining friendships because a lot of my friends are having kids so it's very hard for me to relate. It has also been very hard to make genuine friends as an adult. Also, ruling out family and friends that only seem to support me when I'm up or doing something cool has been a huge eye-opener for me as well, so thank you so much for this video. It gave me a lot of clarity on the fact that its ok to be selfish and focus on you and your peace.

[@christy7516]

Same turning 23 too and tryna go back to university

[@ayannabrinae5869]

@@christy7516 you can do it !

[@123amberdavid]

people who play victim when they inflicted the emotional pain are bottom tier

[@KC-807]

I want to say thank you for speaking about this. Just had a experience four months ago that changed my outlook on people in my life. It opened my eyes at 32 years old, to how I view people in terms of if they will bring peace, drama, stress, and happiness to my life. I made a vow to distance myself from bad energy.

[@tiyyas3022]

I fully am like you! I am very giving and with the wrong person it has certainly cost me my peace and my worth. I’m so happy that you’re this young and coming to these realizations and sharing it so openly. Being your authentic self is truly a gift and those who value you will stick around to benefit; the rest will flew away like wounded birds and spread lies about you. But that’s none of our business! Here’s to being our authentic selves

[@cookielawrence2008]

I’m in my forty’s and I wish I was this mature and knowledgeable at your age. You are wise beyond your years. I can only imagine how your life will be at my age. Your mother should be very proud of how mature, vocal and wise you are. You’re definitely an inspiration to these young ladies that are following you. Keep inspiring beautiful 😉

[@sashaglenn2441]

I've been saying that being nice isn't something I do for years. People always seem taken aback by that, but me being nice, a lot of time translates to dishonesty and fakery. Thats just not me, I can be compassionate and tactful, but im still going to keep it real. I also learned recently to stop giving people who don't wish me well my time and energy. Sometimes I feel bad about cutting people out of my circle, but i'm suffering and they are the cause. Imma leave the door open if they want to return changed, but we will not be associating regularly if you keep negative energy. This vent session really resonated with me, im at the same place in my life, and its good to know its not just me😅

[@shespaula8048]

I'm 21 and I understand the freind thing the older I get the more I have friends in my life ...I just want god in my life that's all at this point. .it's very hard to find genuine people who actually cares and want you to be happy

[@baristalove3919]

I'm still in highschool but I truly am learning from these sessions and just you in general. Though I'm young, I really can relate to these. I want to think for myself, be my own person, I'm wondering who I am, what I wanna do, how I wanna be, how I wanna be perceived, just everything you said, I can relate to. And I've learned even more from this. Thank you for sharing, I'd love more of these tbh. Definitely gonna come back to this in the future.

[@themanejess529]

I'm 22 years old, graduated with my bachelors degree last year at only 21. This year I landed a job that offered great pay, benefits, and a high position. Well, I'm also the youngest person in the office and literally lead a team of people (everyone being over 50). This year taught me to belive in myself and acknowledge that despite my age, I am more than capable to be a boss woman in every aspect. Its calls me to be more mature yes, but also to never doubt myself and keep my head up. Yes, they others will think " she's just a little girl" but I prove them wrong with my professesionalism and mature mannerisms. I said all that to say, in your 20's, people are gonna doubt you, but you have to stay true to who you are because a true boss never doubts themself! Love you Isi💕

[@Claire_Rena]

Listen!!! I REALLY appreciate your transparency. I just turned 29 this past November and this is where I am finding myself. I’m literally in tears because you are speaking my situation. I’m going to carry this with me for the rest of my life. Thank you so much!!!

[@naturallykyraa8101]

I’m 22 and I’ve definitely been noticing a shift in my life! Very thankful for this video. It confirms what I was already feeling!

[@UniqueA321]

Literally going through the same thing currently! I’ve been doing a lot of self reflection and noticing how I’m always trying to please people because I don’t want any type of confrontation or bad blood. But I’m really tired of it because it makes me look like a push over and sometimes I feel like I have to constantly prove myself to people. Thank you for this video and let’s us know that we are not alone and things will get better ❤️

[@netejarobinson6713]

Needed to hear this!! Definitely a season of protecting your energy and self, no one else can do it like you can. As Drake said we’re losing friends but finding peace ♥️

[@lovelykelles925]

I love how well you communicate and is able to express your feelings. Believe it or not it’s a lot of adults that struggle with this . Continue to be well spoken and everything else that makes you be who you are now.❤️

[@shamekarobinson4228]

A WORD was said when you talked about sweeping things under the rug, addressing the elephant in the room, and how things can be settled by having a conversation!!!! I thought you were reading my life girl!!! I can't speak for all, but from what I've seen growing up in a black family/toxic family in general, settling things VERBALLY is the last and worst thing to do. God forbid we actually have to hurt other people feelings for them to understand us and hear the truth in situations. Like I've gotten to a point in my life that I cannot reflect on how my family handled hard situations when it comes to having a family of my own in the future 😭

[@beautifulchar792]

Soooo happy you decided to post this video! I’m happy that you are becoming more secure within yourself! I know this was for you but I needed to hear this. I’m only 23, but I related to this video while heartedly!

[@sadetripp]

Protect Your Peace ❤ #WeStillWantIt

[@catthearts]

I learned this now at 29… this video will Keep me accountable! Thank you love!

[@Panda72021]

In my mid twenties, I'm slowly learning to protect my mental and emotional energy, even if it pisses people off. My friends (hopefully) know I care about them and love them, but if I've been struggling with my relationship with my parents, or just been feeling stressed as hell, I can't automatically shift gears and give even MORE emotional and mental energy to talking to my friends online every day. I'll fully admit it makes me feel guilty as hell because I feel like I'm leaving them hanging when they just want to have a casual chat. But I know it's just as unfair to THEM as it is me, if I can't wholeheartedly give my energy willingly to them. They deserve my enthusiasm when we talk about things, and not just the stale leftovers from me being mentally and emotionally tapped out by other people, I would hate for my friends to think that THEY are the problem. It's very difficult to protect that kind of energy, especially when you are stuck with people who seem to easily leech it from you. But I can't keep living like this, it is exhausting and it's driving me insane. I don't want to constantly feel like I have to seclude myself just to be able to breathe. But right now it's either that, or have the very marrow sucked out of my bones by people who do not deserve to treat me like a resource. I have a feeling things are going to become very unsettled for me in the coming years, but I'm desperately hoping it will lead to better things. (Kinda went on a vent myself there....but it felt good to get it out).

[@orrineloiseau8117]

I read everything to the last word and I resonated with everything.

[@jadamichelee]

I recently turned 21 on August 23rd and I had this moment where I began thinking about my life goals and the goals that I had set for this year. The internal growth is inevitable, but the external goals I set for myself weren't being worked towards. I would feel drained after work and school, but as a Virgo, I was beating myself up about using those as excuses. I began assessing my circle & I realized that I had mistaken "productive conversations" with me constantly being the motivation friend, the advice giver, etc, which essentially I have no problem with lifting my friends up, but there's a difference when you're speaking to the same friend about the same shit y'all were talking about last week. DRAINING. Long story short, that day, I restricted my access from so many people. I decided that I owe myself the rest of Q3 and Q4 to work towards my goals and give myself that motivation because they done had my energy all year.

[@life_of_ginnaa]

You spoke all facts. I’m 25 and have realized I was kissing ass & being too nice to friends and family, so I completely understand where you’re coming from. We literally have so much in common and it’s so refreshing to see you being authentic and speaking your mind. I feel like a lot of KZbinrs pretend to be perfect or struggle being transparent so thank you for opening up and speaking your truth hun! 💛 I’m glad you’re evolving & putting yourself first.

[@thelashayway8250]

I’m 22 and I understand exactly what you’re saying. I’m the type to sweep things under the rug and keep it pushing to avoid confrontation. But I’ve noticed that I speak up for myself a lil bit more now that I’m older. I’m still trying to grow out of being that nice, people pleasing quiet girl. It’s gone be hard because this has been me my whole life. The half ass friendships don’t work for me either anymore, because ppl are quick to do for others but not YOU. And sometimes they don’t do it for you because it’s YOU. I’ve constantly watched friends and partners treat other ppl how they should’ve treated me and it does hurt. Then it’s like now that everyone’s in their twenties their attention spans are short. No one knows how to hold conversations anymore that’s why nothing is lasting. Everybody worried about money and materialistic things and not REAL life. But I would sit and watch my friend text ppl back right in front of me but will take weeks to reply to one message. And we rarely talk about things or hang out so it’s kinda like pointless atp. It’s like I’m too old and a lot of things are no longer tolerable for me. And when I feel like I’m not wanted I ghost ppl and I try to reframe from coming back.

[@destinyetienne7722]

This is a topic that young black women so needed. I am 21 and I relate so much especially in terms of forming boundaries with relationships, friendships and family. Recently I’ve been selfish with my energy and mind and time. Im glad i’m watching this because it confirms that it is okay to be selfish. Thank you for venting!

[@empressgoddess5871]

Love,love, love this. I'm 30s years old and I'm learning soooo much about my self..my 20s I was on autopilot with friends family and workers and its tiring now. So I sat back and said reset my life and focus about ME!

[@ladybug21rain]

19:41 when you said " you haven’t even asked me how I’m doing." , that definitely hit home for me. I am always there for someone else’s problems but when I try to talk to them about mine they instantly bring it back to them selves and it’s super annoying. My sister always calls me to talk about herself and as soon as I answer the phone without even asking me how I’m doing she starts a whole conversation about herself. It’s at a point where I don’t even answer her calls. I had to cut her off because everybody has their own problems and I don’t need you adding on top of mine

[@Suga_Wifi]

Thanks, as a 19-year-old black girl I needed that.

[@imeekay]

I’m really glad you made this video! A lot of us needed this. Idk if its an earth sign thing or what (because i’m a taurus) but we love people hard. I’m turning 27 this upcoming May and I’ve had to really create and reinforce boundaries because I would end up being sad , especially in friendships, because I was letting people getting away with any and everything and be resentful about it later. I got through it but i also had to learn: communication is key everywhere. I used to sweep things under the rug so I would surround myself with those kind of people and I can’t do it anymore. Now my life has shifted and I see who my true friends are that add to my growth and vice versa! It’s heartwarming to know another black queen in in a growth transition trying to figure it out too! Thank you Isi!❤️

[@thereserichardson3222]

Thank you for sharing, You are on point, I know how you feel, I’m in my 50’s and I to put my foot down and people don’t and haven’t liked that side of me and I don’t care anymore, I’m doing me. People won’t like what your doing or how you have changed, lol but do you and continue to get your respect that you are giving. I know you will always keep God first and follow your hear, you are a beautiful black woman who is living her best life!!! Much love ❤️ 🥰🙏🏾

[@nicarose5102]

BEING AROUND GOD-FEARING PEOPLE,THAT BELIEVE IN GOD AND HAVE A MOTIVATION TO LIVE THE WAY GOD INTENDED FOR US TO LIVE IS THE BEST PEOPLE TO BE AROUND AND FOLLOW🙏🏾💙💪🏾💃🏽

[@aunistis.8648]

Isi, I love your late-night rants! I love and appreciate your transparency. I'm 18 years old going on 19 and I feel like I can relate to everything you spoke about in my own way. It's hard having more emotional intelligence than the people around you. Especially more than the people closest to you. I always feel like I have to explain and help people rise to my level. & I am not perfect, but I always strive to become better. Anyways, I am intentional about the people I associate with and the things I watch too. I only want to indulge in things that uplift me.. & let me tell you, you are one of those people! ❤️ Thank you for sharing your truth with us!

[@gabbyai]

So much of this vent session /personal conversation resonated with me. Had this conversation with myself when I turned 24 5 months ago recognizing that I am in a pivotal time in my life as a woman, as a person on the whole and so much has happened in my relationships that have made me be honest with both myself and others. Acknowledging a lot of previously unacknowledged trauma that had played a role in different traits of myself and culminating that with upbringing and life experiences leads to learning how to move forward and grow. Definitely appreciated hearing this and having an opportunity to relate ❤️ manifestation of growth and evolving into better versions of ourselves

[@ashleyglasper9819]

I turned 27 a few days after you and I feel this so much!!! It’s not the strangers it’s those intimate relationships where I’m just not putting up with the foolishness anymore. I’m just know learning to say “I don’t like what you did, you hurt my feelings or you upset me” to my family instead of harboring those feelings to keep the peace.

[@irenegelpi8351]

I think most of us go through this with friends and people in general I’m so proud of you for recognizing it and taking a stance so early in your life it took me a while to get it I was a people pleaser and I wanted everyone to like me all the best in your journey of self discovery you got this you’re a strong beautiful intelligent young woman ❤️🙏🏽👍🏽💪🏽

[@veenabonita9945]

This resonated with me on so many levels. After falling into my deep depression in early 2020 and coming out of it victorious, I was able to evaluate who and what in my life was serving me and what was not serving me. Safe to say, I lost friends, but gained a partner that loves and adores me. I am still on my journey to my better self. This video was the ONE Isi!

[@bbbryne893]

Yeah I think you understand that everyone (MOST PPL) we’re not raised like you. My parents didn’t teach me how to love someone or how to properly communicate, I guess they just thought it was self explanatory. But I strived to be a safe place for my significant other and he had to tell me that I didn’t really know shit about communication like I thought I did (and he didn’t either). I’m saying this to say you were BLESSED to have the mother you had that taught you that. A lot of ppl have to struggle and learn it the hard way :( I’m glad you’re striving to reach your highest potential and putting yourself first! You deserve the best!

[@mapulexayimpi]

The fact that I relate to so much of what you said and I'm in my early 20s like sheesh this life thing really isn't easy and just navigating and learning more about yourself brings a very necessary discomfort cause you're really just trying to be extremely honest with yourself about any and everything and teaching yourself that there's certain things you need to go through in order to reach your highest potential/ best self. Loved this video Isi🥺 #westillwantit

[@lile1291]

Isi I really hope you are doing okay, mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally!!!! But everything on this video is so helpful! Thank you so much for being honest! You are the big sister I never had!❤️❤️❤️

[@babygyal5097]

I’m not even in my 20’s yet, and I have so much growth to do, I relate to what you just said. For example this year I realized through some things I had to deal with that I am a very good friend and I deserve very good friends, I deserve better. I’m starting to know what I want for my life, I want to be a successful black woman and I need people around me to match with my energy fr

[@orrineloiseau8117]

Girl same here. Only 19 and I’m going through everything Isi mentioned in this video. I’m the same when it comes to friendships.

[@babygyal5097]

@@orrineloiseau8117 life is hard haha

[@auroragold799]

Iv never been this early but I totally agree and I’m also a virgo and this so resonates with me

[@shenellebrown6062]

Girl you didn’t even watch the video 🤣🤣

[@auroragold799]

@@shenellebrown6062 I did 4sure did why you worried about me 😂

[@jasminejazziej8787]

I'm in my 30s and love your channel. The same thing happened to me at that age. I stopped allowing to treat me any kind of way. And at 30 I LEARNED HOW TO SAY NOOOOOO!! BEST THING I EVER DID!!

[@macalab.3539]

I'm 22- you and Josh really help elevate my way of thinking and how I want to move going forward Also #wewantit

[@ravendowning5963]

You are so inspiring, I went through my Instagram and unfollowed people who I didn't want to follow but felt like I had to follow. Thank you sis

[@khaniquecowans8834]

This is so crazy because I've been feeling like this HEAVY today. I feel like all my life and very recently, I've always been the friend that checks up on everyone else but never gets the same energy in return. Who checks up on the friend that makes sure everyone else is good? Everyone has their own lives and issues etc, which is understandable. But if I can take the time out of my life with everything going on with me to make sure people are good, shouldn't people be able to do the same for me?

[@alicia.m5]

Yessss my point exactly 💯💯

[@ShaySunshyne]

I FEEL SO SEEN 🥲I really appreciate you opening up about this Isi because these have been a STRUGGLE for me the last few years smh! Once we get closer to 30, there's a literally shift that happens (Saturn's return I think) so a lot of things change.

[@violamalone6978]

That Virgo energy is really REAL! We pick up on energy very well too.

[@10najah]

speaking of living on your edge, i would love to hear about the books you’ve read/are reading to continue growing and learning more about yourself!

[@elle2368]

I thoroughly relate to what you were saying about communicating hurt feelings in a relationship ( any relationship, friendship, someone asking for something). IMO one thing I find really helps me is something a therapist once said. Communicate the problem without blaming the other person. Like for me, trying to address a yelling/temper problem with a loved one. The phrase was I feel hurt when there is yelling and it makes me want to withdraw from the relationship.. any variation of a statement like that really helps the other person to see the impact they are having on you

[@evachege5631]

This was such a relatable video Isi!! I’m in my early 20’s rn and I’ve just recently graduated college and I’m really dealing with how I wanna navigate my relationships going forward and just being more intentional with my friends like I would be in a relationship. I do agree about the energy thing and being the one to check in and all that yea no I stopped doing that and I’ve realized just how much that reveals people’s true colors and where they see me in their life. This video also made me realize how good of a friend I have who I haven’t been friends with for long but she’s so intentional and checks in on me fr and I’ve never had that before and it’s truly beautiful 🥺 hope to make friends like these moving forward

[@maenishalathon1750]

Continue To Blossom, You Beautiful Flower!!!! Thank You For Sharing Your Growth With Us. You Shine A Light, And Help So Many People With The Things You Say! 🥰💪🏾

[@JesikaBrat]

I can honestly say I understand 100% of this video. I graduated college in 2020 and I'm turning 23 next month. I constantly feel like I'm "running out of time" to get my life together. Then there's adults who remind me how much time I have, how well I'm already doing at my age and how it's ok to not have it all figured out. However, merging into adulthood and trying to find myself is constantly on my mind. I'm constantly evaluating my life, where I am, where I want to be and the woman I want to become. I don't hangout with my friends 24/7 and feel guilty but at the same time, I'm working on me and who I want to become by the time I'm 30 and its a LOT.

[@tyraavybes]

You definitely hit home with this one! What you were speaking on is something I’m dealing with within myself now. I myself just turned 24 on the 3rd and listening to you just made me realize I didn’t even get a chance to really just self reflect on my accomplishments and what I want to do better coming into this new year. I just recently joined the military so things have been moving so fast to the point where I haven’t had the opportunity to just really deal with things mentally, physically, emotionally, etc. I appreciate you speaking on this and you’ve definitely opened my eyes to see that I need to really start buckling down on me and what I want for myself. You are so full of love and I appreciate you!!! 💕

[@anotherwarren7994]

Your twenties are typically when you begin to find out WHY various people are in your life. Please understand that all are not meant to stay. They come for a REASON, a SEASON, or a LIFETIME. Recognizing and accepting which of those is the point of each person who enters your life, is the real lesson that teaches you whether to try to hold on or let go of a relationship and move on from it.

[@laura_dadiowei]

I turned 25 in August last year and towards the end of 2021 I started having these same thoughts. I felt completely drained mentally & emotionally by some friendships and I said to myself coming 2022 I would be intentional about my decisions and I'll cut off any friendship that doesn't help me grow......Thank you Isi for this, you've given me the motivation I need to go ahead with my plan not minding how selfish it may seem to some people.

[@davinapullen9915]

News Flash I deal with the same nonsense when it comes to relationships, my space and mental health. Protect, protect, protect! You are wise beyond your years. I am learning at a later age. Thank you for sharing ❤️

[@JunervaDanger]

This is Everything!!! This is exactly how I’ve been feeling. I related to everything that was beautifully said in this video birthday twin. It is ridiculous how so many people have done me wrong but somehow victimized themselves but made me out to be the bad guy when I finally put my foot down. Just like you said “I’m done being nice as well”. I had to stop expecting me out of people and it is so sad because I never ask for much. Now the energy, love and care that I pour out to people has to be reciprocated. I also had to realize that people will be in your face to take you for granted, take full advantage and use you for their own personal gain. Once they realize that you will no longer tolerate being used they will then try to demolish your character.

[@VicKy-rn4bp]

This is my favorite video. So dang relatable, people don’t know how to communicate their feelings without trying to attack.

[@SheReaDelSol]

WHEW. ALL OF THIS. EVERY. SINGLE. T-H-I-N-G.

[@jarlenegordon5115]

I can relate so much to what you shared. A major point for me is when family/friends/associates do hurtful stuff but don't apologize and expect access to the good energy you gave prior to a conflict/misunderstanding.

[@sharonbrown7806]

Hi all!! I’m a more seasoned viewer and can understand everything you’ve mentioned! With maturity comes many evolving times! It’s okay to be selfish and set higher standards for yourself and others if they are going to be in your life! My mom was a person of “sayings” some that remind me of this conversation is…”there is a time and place” you are moving into a new place and it’s time you set boundaries” also “people are seasonal, they maybe in your life for a day, a month, a year, or even a lifetime” however long the lessons exchanged are over and you need to continue to find your next “people”! Life is a journey, everyone is not moving in the same pace! So embrace where you are and bless the people who’ve been there and the ones yet to come!! Keep moving and I totally agree with the tiredness of pushing and pulling folks, don’t do it…life should be fun and easy!!! Be well! 🙏🏽💟☮️☀️🥰🙏🏽

[@tibr835]

This is such an authentic outspoken message. I appreciate this video and your transparency .

[@Linnaaa96_]

ISI GIRLLLL! I resonate with this video sooo much! I'm an Aquarius so I'm already an emotional wreck, and I've never really been a vocal person because I worry about hurting others physically and emotionally lol, but THIS...THISSSS! Exactly what I needed to hear. Why should I keep giving af about others feelings and actions when people are literally showing me that they dgaf. As you said, I REFUSE to keep being the one with the hurt feelings. No more anxiety, depression, pure cold shoulder...respectfully lmao. Thankyou for your genuine content.

[@YannaS727]

Love this! Self-awareness is so important and you are aware of who you are and how you feel, what you want and what you don't want. I love that you are active in filtering what goes in and out of your life. We really have to protect ourselves first and it's not selfish its being mindful and showing compassion for yourself by setting clear boundaries.

[@kiialp3384]

New subscriber here! I just want to truly thank you for this video. I’ve had a lot of similar situations you described and it was weighing on me to the point I didn’t want to do anything. Just work, bed, repeat. I’m no longer overthinking and standing on my terms. This was very helpful. I’m 23 btw! 💕☺️