Whoa. You said it beautifully! Bottom line... Well stated!
@teambigv3 жыл бұрын
They will still blame her. Saying she's behind it
@g.s.6324 ай бұрын
I wonder which cultural background these people are from. No judgement, I’m ethnic myself. But it looks a lot like something I know
@DaWahine793 ай бұрын
It's happening to me right now. I'm the culprit, never my husband. I have a different culture from my in-laws.
@wassupp_3 ай бұрын
Exactly!! They'll say she has brainwashed him, and talked their son into doing this to them... Sad, but true.
@leodwinak3 ай бұрын
You are correct. However if they have no quotes from her. When she was such a witch. when she said x and z and y and when she said this. and that really hurt my feelings. and she couldn't keep her mouth shut. she was so mean to your father. The alternative is having your own words fed back to you at some point and being misquoted for the next 42 years.
@Nazey093 ай бұрын
@@g.s.632south Asian or East Asian. I just know it.
@danielcrain85104 жыл бұрын
I too, hide in a closet when my in-laws are over.
@wkdravenna4 жыл бұрын
It's the place to be
@gheorghitaalsunculitei91464 жыл бұрын
Understandable...
@jill96064 жыл бұрын
Lol!!
@acarouselofantics4 жыл бұрын
I know what you mean. I'm fortunate that mine live on the west coast and only make it over a few times year.
@machintelligence4 жыл бұрын
My condolences.
@chiquicat14 жыл бұрын
‘The problem is not your in-laws, it’s your husband’ ATOMIC TRUTH BOMB.
@jenniferj36639 ай бұрын
🎯
@Shopgirl14 ай бұрын
And the husband will never grow a pair and tell his parents to get out
@desertdog1854 ай бұрын
This is right on 👍
@g.s.6324 ай бұрын
I absolutely agree.
@samanthaquant74113 ай бұрын
I could hear him start to say “pa… husband” maybe he held himself back from saying “pathetic husband” 😅
@MR3DDev4 жыл бұрын
Geez newly married and having to hide from your in laws in your own house. This looks so bad
@riverdaletales84574 жыл бұрын
😂😂 I just can't understand people 🤣🤦♂️ both parties are at fault here
@dks138274 жыл бұрын
@@riverdaletales8457 true
@zbridgjpxupzm4 жыл бұрын
I wish I had problems like this!
@colleenduffy11394 жыл бұрын
Well said. His parents should let them enjoy their time as newlyweds and are taking advantage.
@totallyfrozen4 жыл бұрын
I have serious doubts that this marriage is going to work out.
@nikab84494 жыл бұрын
Dave said "Your mother-in-law is a travel agent for Guilt Trips" 🤣🤣🤣
@Sinful_Survivor4 жыл бұрын
🤣🤣😂😂
@001yael4 жыл бұрын
Genius phrasing
@denniskelly12194 жыл бұрын
PRICELESS
@rjv_mntn4 жыл бұрын
I know right. I laughed so hard when I heard that. Legit.
@anothergoldilocks10773 жыл бұрын
🤣🤣🤣🤣
@edwardmauer74424 жыл бұрын
They never intended to get a job and live on their own. They deceived y'all. Grow a spine, kick them out.
@toms.43824 жыл бұрын
@James Zell Yeah Dave said let me not ruin this man's WHOLE career.
@johnc24384 жыл бұрын
@James Zell Yeah... he did use the word "nuts" as in crazy (6:34"), so it was on his mind. 😉
@cookies45824 жыл бұрын
That part
@elizabethallen43534 жыл бұрын
Absolutely. But she's only 24. I would have been that dumb too - allowing them to come in.
@fromsanfrancisco14 жыл бұрын
I respectfully don’t agree with you Edward. God is the only judge. we do not know what is in their hearts. Wait until you are a grandpa, you may see things differently.
@konye6184 жыл бұрын
She's only 24...um this is too soon to be having in laws in their home. I would get it if they were older but like nahhhhh.
@vocaleditz94834 ай бұрын
i was like 24???
@littlepixel16504 ай бұрын
Yea maybe like they have two weeks to live maybe . Not twenty or thirty years wth
@amosiren3 ай бұрын
Omg this couple are in their 20s and his parents are already loafing, that's sad
@Lydia-Roe2 ай бұрын
It's a husband who failed to grow up and delegates his responsibility to his new wife by bowing out and detaching / gray rocking. She is better off divorcing. Sorry she discovered the real reason he married her in this manner, but it will only get worse if her husband doesn't step up .
@ceothesheriffshow2 ай бұрын
What? What’s wrong with living with in-laws, as long as they are nice.
@1.5Koreans0.5American4 жыл бұрын
Oh she's literally hiding in a closet. I thought it was a metaphor 😂
@PInk77W14 жыл бұрын
Me too.
@michaelmarquez61334 жыл бұрын
Haha no she really is!
@DougAlesUSA4 жыл бұрын
Me too. Then I started listening and was like, oh, she is physically inside a closet. Well, this is actually a correct title.
@TimeisUp224 жыл бұрын
🤣
@sami-92334 жыл бұрын
Except shes hetero?
@Miss_Dani_DWhit4 жыл бұрын
Dave, This was SOUND advice. Very common sense, emotionally intelligent, and assertive.
@firstlookpro72824 жыл бұрын
I’m a vegan....
@austintomkewitz72064 жыл бұрын
@@firstlookpro7282 me too bro :)
@sami-92334 жыл бұрын
So what do you think about Lego?
@emaksout4 жыл бұрын
Only in America the kids throw the parents out... Embarrassing
@SugaryPhoenixxx3 жыл бұрын
@@emaksout In other countries it is normal to have multi-generational homes. American tradition is to become fully independent between 18-25 years old. There is nothing wrong with multi generational homes, so long as it is agreed upon by everyone involved who is contributing to the household. But I do agree that what these parents are doing is despicable. They are sabotaging this young couple's marriage.
@DMBVR44 жыл бұрын
This is why Dave is the GOAT. Dr John would've sugarcoated the whole thing, Dave is straight to the point and brutally honest. I loooooove itttttt.
@pkasper104 жыл бұрын
not necessarily, they just have different styles
@murraybeachtel85854 жыл бұрын
They are different for good reasons. We all come to the different personalities depending what we are in the mood for. In the end they would all have the same advice but given differently.
@Ryan_DeWitt4 жыл бұрын
I've seen Dr. John come down pretty hard too. He just does it in a less direct way.
@dianawilliams88014 жыл бұрын
Dave is a legend
@innerambiance14 жыл бұрын
Dave it the GOAT for real!!!!!!! He tells it like no one else. I love it. No BS.
@elizabethblane2013 жыл бұрын
About 45 years ago my husband (newly married to me) invited a friend to stay with us, just for "short time". The short time turned into months with no end in sight. I asked my husband to ask him to leave, and he refused, and put it on me to ask him, which I did. Needless to say, the marriage ended, for this and other reasons. Gutlessness in a man is not attractive at all.
@tina6651.Ай бұрын
Sounds to me like you dodged a bullet! Any man that would choose a friend over his wife is not a man.
@TimeStampGuy14 жыл бұрын
"Travel agent for guilt trips", stealing this.
@RickImus4 жыл бұрын
I was expecting the, "test pilot at a broom factory," line when describing how she'll be perceived for the next 42 years.
@ERprepper4 жыл бұрын
Lol same
@scottricklaroque74284 жыл бұрын
That was pretty darn ingenious. I wish I could foresee a situation where I could use it I would, as it is I will store it away just in case. I'm sure glad I was surfing totally different videos and ended up here today.
@luizavieira63524 жыл бұрын
Lol
@solshine7574 жыл бұрын
😂👍
@ERprepper4 жыл бұрын
“Mom, dad, thank you for raising me; but it’s not my job to raise you. It’s my job to raise a family, and I can’t do that with you guys cohabiting here.”
@evah7873 жыл бұрын
Well said....
@bettywith2girls3 жыл бұрын
Wow...very well put.
@amandawithlov39083 жыл бұрын
My mom would literally make me feel guilty if I ever said that.
@weskridge3 жыл бұрын
Plenty of cultures live in multigenerational households....but yes these parents are just irresponsible.
@ihadtotaketheredpill3 жыл бұрын
@@amandawithlov3908 No one can make you feel guilty if you’re strong minded.
@StephenHawkingCantSwim3 ай бұрын
1:40 for people from shorts
@VikkiTG3 ай бұрын
lol thanks
@Mamaofmany6523 ай бұрын
The hero we needed
@cherry_top3 ай бұрын
Bless you
@nicholeknight18932 ай бұрын
Thank you lol 😂😂😂😂
@annathomas85692 ай бұрын
We love you❤
@stephensmith16114 жыл бұрын
Sad part is if this guy doesn’t man up against his parents then his marriage will definitely end with divorce!!
@sarellyquezada75774 жыл бұрын
:(
@craigb31544 жыл бұрын
Sounds like he didn't have a very good role model.
@UGACobra4 жыл бұрын
True. Sad but true.
@4islandbeauty3 жыл бұрын
Sounds like he hasn’t cleaved unto his wife..they’re guilt tripping him for sure
@SugaryPhoenixxx3 жыл бұрын
@@prometheuspredator7971 exactly!
@BernadetteTeachesMusic4 жыл бұрын
Dave: Your husband needs to grow... Me: A PAIR! Dave: a backbone Me: ohhh 😅 yes. That too.
@maryfields13824 жыл бұрын
What I yelled was a little more, uh... graphic.
@GaryCameron7804 жыл бұрын
Oh I'm sure Dave's thinking testicles but doesn't want to say that on the air.
@maryanne20253 жыл бұрын
lol he knows (and we know) what he was going to say! ha
@katherinesproat10813 жыл бұрын
A set
@nw74813 жыл бұрын
🤣😂🤣😂🤭🤭
@MrOverstuffedcow4 жыл бұрын
I lived in this same situation where my mother-in-law was living with us three months after we bought our own place. I had compassion since we lived with her the first 9months of our marriage while we looked for a house. I gave her the same 9 months and when my wife was unable to convince her it was time to leave, I told her it was time. We have her 30 days and $300. She was upset at first, but months after she thanked me. For the first time in her life, someone told her no. Don't misunderstand, my mother-in-law is fantastic and helped us as we were teenagers when we got married and knew nothing about life. Now 21 years and 5 children later, God has blessed us with a wonderful family and a great mother-in-law. I hope all turned out well for you.
@brandim14414 жыл бұрын
I've been here. My mother-in-law lived with my family for years because my husband and I didn't want the confrontation. Finally my husband and I had to have a serious discussion and he asked her to move out. It was rough for a while but it was SO worth it. Asking her to move out saved our marriage. I do have to disagree, however, with the daughter-in-law not saying anything. Yes, be quiet this time and let him tell them to leave.... but there may be times in the future when you have to speak up for yourself. My MIL brings my kids home from school since we work and there have been times when she has felt that it was ok to rearrange my furniture and change pictures on the wall because she liked them better the other way. At first I would have my husband tell her not to do that but she didn't take him seriously. Finally I had to speak up. Hasn't happened since.
@pejisan9 ай бұрын
I wish I'd had a MIL to pick up my kids...a few rearranged pictures in lieu of is a pretty sweet deal in my book!!!
@iHeartAmySue3 ай бұрын
@@pejisanah. You’ve never had a manipulative mother in law I see.
@nmazhar1979Ай бұрын
You have no qualms about using her when it suits you. She is not your pickup kids maid. Least you can do is not to be petty about small rearrangements.
@Dbb277-216 күн бұрын
@nmazhar1979. Who goes into anyone else’s house and rearranges the furniture? The MIL is just ignorant. Nothing wrong with educating her.
@DoubleDogDare543 ай бұрын
Three years on I wonder how this worked out. My guess is Hubby took his parents' side and this couple are divorced.
@DOMANEEKC63 ай бұрын
Was wondering the same thing.
@KaranShah7313 ай бұрын
Then the husband got married to the mother
@ForgottenandDiscarded2 ай бұрын
@KaranShah731 Hahahaha your probably right
@pammypampam6920Ай бұрын
Another year has gone by and I'm wondering too!
@corinnefogarty78804 күн бұрын
If she followed that advice, she should be okay. Unless she calls it quits. Husband isn't going to remarry while he is supporting his parents, in his home. Normal women wouldn't want to be part of a dysfunctional family.
@thomasalias84924 жыл бұрын
I really want a follow up. That's what this show lacks -any connection at all to the callers. After they hang up, they don't exist anymore. WE WANT TO KNOW IF THEY WERE SUCCESSFUL
@Denniss74204 жыл бұрын
The successful ones are more likely to give an update, the ones who didn't act on Dave's advice are too ashamed.
@auroramothergoddess4 жыл бұрын
PLEASE
@vaneenusa17763 жыл бұрын
I love how you states, “WE WANT TO KNOW…” cause it is so true lol
@ladyfreedomrocks3 ай бұрын
Check the Fayetteville newspapers. Husband doesn't deal with it, it won't end well.
@gregorybeze76633 ай бұрын
@@vaneenusa1776 you're a fucking genius aren't ya
@Dollieglitz4 жыл бұрын
Ultimately she is going to have to move back to her parents home until her husband handles his mess. Once her husband stop receiving some Na Na he will drive his parents to the nearest retirement home immediately.
@Susan-cu6ne4 жыл бұрын
Unfortunately, simply her keeping quiet and letting her husband do the talking is not going to keep her in-laws from blaming her.
@lillysmalls514 жыл бұрын
I so much agree with you. Daughter in laws will always be some form of blame regardless.... I am a daughter in law for the past 30 years and trust me when I tell you that my name has definitely one up in many occasions in various situations that weren’t as bad as this poor girl... We don’t win.... 😁
@juliedewyer13664 жыл бұрын
But at least they won't be able to use anything she says against her. Davis right it's the best thing she can do at this point. It's his family, HE needs to deal with them!
@Mexicobeanpole3 жыл бұрын
Absolutely. She’s in a bad spot.
@orborn35803 жыл бұрын
Truth
@maryjojouwstra38603 жыл бұрын
Yep, the first words out of her their mouth will be “ is this ( wife) idea?
@roberteskew73204 жыл бұрын
Dave almost said your husband needs to grow a pair. Nice catch Dave!😅
@jvolstad4 жыл бұрын
That's what I would have said, a pair.
@armyretguy73654 жыл бұрын
I’ll say it, “Grow a pair son!” Lol
@josephmorgan41084 жыл бұрын
I heard the pause also
@blacklily6244 жыл бұрын
Yup. Nice catch.
@fef6194 жыл бұрын
Lol! Yep...
@kathykeehan64403 жыл бұрын
If the husband won’t do this, I’d tell him either you get them out in 30 days, or I leave in 30 days. Your choice.
@Keira-oj1id3 ай бұрын
If she was to have to tell him that, hes probably the type to let her leave instead of his parents.
@rhondaw50543 ай бұрын
Excuse for parents to leave, "we want to start a family but my wife refuses to have sex with my parents here. I want sex and children. You gotta go." Also, closet wife needs to get a job just to get away.
@KaranShah7313 ай бұрын
@@Keira-oj1idThen why don’t he go marry his mother 😂
@CaseyBurnsInvesting4 жыл бұрын
It’s time to come out of the closet.
@lovingme1st9734 жыл бұрын
😂😂😂
@beeezeee17834 жыл бұрын
Daaaaaaad, Tom Cruise won't come out of the closet!
@cjjohnson3534 жыл бұрын
@@beeezeee1783 you can't just stay in the closet because the re-incarnation of Elron Hubbard doesn't like your acting Tom
@MoD3RnHD4 жыл бұрын
Casey bout that life
@kslucki4 жыл бұрын
Lol
@Chris-es3wf4 жыл бұрын
Dave: "Sell the husband, buy beans & rice".
@Picca653 жыл бұрын
Sell the inlaws, buy beans & rice😉
@patriciaalbertson518311 ай бұрын
😂😂😂
@RJRussoVids4 жыл бұрын
The caller says that her in-laws don’t have a retirement plan. Oh, but they do! And living with you is the cornerstone of that plan. Hope you can get them out of there soon and remember the lesson learned from this misadventure.
@CarnivoreStork4 жыл бұрын
🤣
@DEMediaDrive4 жыл бұрын
😂🤣😁
@DVeck894 жыл бұрын
Sad but true. A lot of boomers see their kids as their retirement.
@michellegrovak2 жыл бұрын
And taking Social Security at 62 shows how inept they are financially.
@TheDeanosaurus4 жыл бұрын
This happened with my mom. Luckily it was time for us to move so I had somewhat of an easy out because it was "We love you but our family is growing and we need the space" but it was me that told her this, not my wife. And now my wife and mom still have a great relationship. Heed his advice!
@anniesshenanigans38154 жыл бұрын
No money, no house, no income. They have no plan except to live off the kids. She never said if they had a sit down chat with them about all this. That is what needs to come first. What has happened here is that she 'assumed' they were coming for a short time then moving out. Then they got comfortable with the situation and "assumed' that the kids would be okay with them staying indefinitely. All the conversations were going on in their heads and none were out loud. Neither party are mind readers. First, she needs to talk to her husband and see if they are, in fact, wanting the same thing. And only then can they as a couple sit down with the parents. Ask them what their long term plans are and why do they think it's okay without discussing it? Or have they discussed it with HIM and he just "forgot' to tell her? I guarantee you that if you sat all these people down at the same table, everyone would have a different story to tell. I wish DR would do follow ups!!
@blacklily6244 жыл бұрын
Indeed. 4 diff stories.
@maryfields13824 жыл бұрын
A friend of mine who is in her late 50s fully expects to live with one of her kids after she retires. She told me this. I told that's good, 'cause she can't live with me!
@AeternaQueen4 жыл бұрын
She did say when her husbands talks to them nothing sticks and that the plan was for them to get a job but they haven't been applying. So it sounds like the parents are having these convos in their head.
@anniesshenanigans38154 жыл бұрын
@@AeternaQueen exactly what I was thinking
@Chicagocubbiegirl4 жыл бұрын
Agree, but I think the wife needs to stay out of it. They'll forgive him a lot sooner, and she may need them to babysit in a few years.
@ivybanks79364 жыл бұрын
Dave: "Your husband needs to grow...." Me: "Some BALLS!" Dave: ... "a backbone!" Me.."Ehhh Dave's too polite!".
@maryfields13824 жыл бұрын
HAHA!!! I shouted "a pair of balls!"
@leahg33644 жыл бұрын
YESSS 🤣🤣🤣
@DJWidget4 жыл бұрын
That pause had to be Dave saying it in his head while his filter came up with the radio-appropriate phrase. lol
@Elizabeth-uj8vn4 жыл бұрын
🤣
@judyjohnson96104 жыл бұрын
That's what I love about Dave. He's a straight shooter
@gemmerouge88284 жыл бұрын
I wish she’d call and update us
@fhuber75074 жыл бұрын
in 26 to 28 days....
@larrybud4 жыл бұрын
The discussion will never happen.
@josephevans12654 жыл бұрын
In the closet or out of the closet?
@ddfamf884 жыл бұрын
Update - nothing has happened.
@mazstreats79554 ай бұрын
Three year update - her family hates them, she's miserable. Nothing changed. Parents are still there.
@craigodem38154 жыл бұрын
Dave absolutely nailed this... firm, clear, direct, calm.
@younglady0003 ай бұрын
I just met him but I love how direct his approach it, it’s almost comic but it also lightens the intensity of the conversation. Beautiful!
@Leopard7624 жыл бұрын
Dave: sell the closet.
@tiffany_views29834 жыл бұрын
😂😂
@kasisweetie24934 жыл бұрын
🤣🤣
@iLLWiLLx214 жыл бұрын
Literally LOLED 😂😂😂😂
@BernadetteTeachesMusic4 жыл бұрын
Omg!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂
@Yugiboii3 жыл бұрын
😂😂😂😂😂😂
@cswann84 жыл бұрын
4:50 "Your husband is going to man-up and handle this mess he made." Never have I wanted a "where are they now" episode more than right now.
@charmainekeevy76283 ай бұрын
This is a training ground for her husband going forward in their marriage. Will make a good marriage to learn to work with conflict.
@jordanaubrey-realestateinv3344 жыл бұрын
This is not a good situation 🤦🏽♂️🤦🏽♂️🤦🏽♂️
@Whooshta4 жыл бұрын
Been there with my own parents. I literally had to kick them out. They saved literally $0 when they stayed with me for a year.
@elsaromero47434 жыл бұрын
It's crazy, how kids are expected to maintain their parents. I could never put that on my daughter.smh.
@trenicejohnson154 жыл бұрын
Everrr
@melindamercier68114 жыл бұрын
Right?! In really old age and you have the means, sure, but less than a year of marriage?! I’d have said no right off the bat. You do NOT put that burden on your children, not even 20yrs married. Who moves across the country without job prospects? Sound like parents that dont want to let their “baby boy” go.
@auroramothergoddess4 жыл бұрын
I’m 25 currently living at home ..my dad doesn’t want me to work I left my job in August for the sake of my son and my family only for the fall ...but only for the fall I planned on going back to work as soon as it ended and applied for a seasonal job at Amazon until I find something better I need income to survive at this point anything helps I don’t want to keep dipping into my savings ...I know my dad is going to be upset and mad. I’d move out but because my son is still little at least he’s somewhat safe if I go to work and leave the house but I don’t know what to do
@auroramothergoddess4 жыл бұрын
I’m conflicted because I’m living under his roof I want to respect his wishes as he pays the house bills but I need to work at the end of the day the only way I’m going to survive is it’s up to me and only me but I know my dad will not want me to work there he has an old school mindset where he wants me to work in an “office setting”
@greg_2162 жыл бұрын
It would be different if you asked: "Hey, can I come live out my days with you?" Then maybe y'all move into a house that's set up for that. The problem is not supporting his parents, but the deception that it was just going to be temporary.
@lipglossed4 жыл бұрын
Sadly, this is more common than most people know or admit. I know several people my age with parents or in-laws "temporarily" staying with them due to bad finances and never leaving. Most also blow their extra money on nonessential things, which then adds more resentment to the situation since they "can't afford to move" but can afford to finance new cars, go out to eat, etc.
@genxis60974 жыл бұрын
This actually does surprise me. I have a son in his late twenties. If his Dad and I asked to move in with him, which we’d never do, he’d think we’d lost our minds. And if he offered, it would be an emphatic no. I just don’t understand this at all.
@sarrahconley31434 жыл бұрын
I won't even offer. We would pay for a couple months of rent in an apartment for our parents to help get them on their feet. But we have a rule that noone moves in. It's hard to bc our parents create messes. We try our best to stay out of it.
@anitaknight39154 жыл бұрын
@@sarrahconley3143 that's very wise and it's awesome you are both on the same page putting your marriage first.
@sarrahconley31434 жыл бұрын
@@anitaknight3915 it's not easy. Both sides of parents work hard. We'll buy them food if they need it. But we've watched both sides enable other family members and waste their resources. Both said we were their retirement plan. We said no we're not. We put ourselves through school. I didn't even know what boundaries were until a couple years ago. I stopped everything and paid off debt they borrowed. It took years. We seem to have better relationships bc of boundaries.
@nikki.554 жыл бұрын
@@sarrahconley3143 How did you get the courage to say no to them? I am in this situation right now with my mom. My family makes the same mistakes especially with money and all have bad credit. I left and got an apartment by myself and never felt so free and happy. 6 months in, my mom is here with me in a 1 br. Can't have privacy, independence or company. She doesn't pay a dime (didnt require her to) yet hasn't saved any money. I have never been so miserable. I'm thinking about giving up my apt and living on campus just to get away.
@PInk77W14 жыл бұрын
I moved from Cal to Tx and got a job the first day. I’m a high school drop out. Paid my house cash. Doing great. Some people just don’t get basic common sense.
@PInk77W14 жыл бұрын
Atty. Johnny Sins Personal Finance very center of Texas
@cashmonyz4 жыл бұрын
@@PInk77W1 San Angelo
@PInk77W14 жыл бұрын
cashmonyz 72 miles from SA
@Nd8tz4 жыл бұрын
Mmmm, I’ve been thinking about doing the same, kinda nervous though. Do I leave everything I’ve ever known to move somewhere totally unfamiliar ...
@PInk77W14 жыл бұрын
@@Nd8tz that’s what I did. Very scary. But I figured I had no choice. Calif is crazy. Now I live in a city of 4000. everyone here knows everyone. Except me, they just call me “California” Less taxes No rent No mortgage No car payment No credit card No student loan. Paid cash for my home. Got a full time job the first day. So I have my pension and a job And no debt. Gonna fly to California nov 20 to see My family. Texas is so 1960 compared to California.
@ShiaGirl184 жыл бұрын
"She's a travel agent for guilt trips." 😂
@RaspberryRetrograde3 ай бұрын
I just want to say I love your profile pic
@ShiaGirl183 ай бұрын
@@RaspberryRetrograde Thank you! 😊
@tehmicroer4 жыл бұрын
Tell your husband he's got the power of "since you're under my roof" and "my house my rules" that the parents probably threw in his face every day before he had the house and wife.
@beeezeee17834 жыл бұрын
This is genius.
@peters.63434 жыл бұрын
Have them clean the house, mow the yard, do all your errands. Give them every job around the house you can think of. If they don't do them ground them!!
@katella11 ай бұрын
Good point.
@kb12366 ай бұрын
@@peters.6343 And charge them rent equal to their income
@GoogleAccount004 ай бұрын
🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯
@davet93874 жыл бұрын
I can tell by the sound of her voice that nothing Dave suggested is going to happen.
@ntombifuthidlamini33724 жыл бұрын
My thought axactly
@youreshouldoflearntgrammer82773 жыл бұрын
@@mamaroza22 It's her new room in the house
@magicworld32423 жыл бұрын
Her husband ain't gonna do nothing.
@katella11 ай бұрын
Difficult for a 24 year old newlywed.
@billh.194011 ай бұрын
She will live in closet then garage for life.
@marianykelvin4 жыл бұрын
I would never do this to my kids! Ppl prepare for the future now
@drowjackson35124 жыл бұрын
Sir We Are About to Die yes you would be wrong. It’s unbelievably inconsiderate and people need to have the right to live their own lives. If the in-laws can’t afford for themselves that’s their fault and their responsibility. If the kids were too expensive, then you shouldn’t have had kids. You gotta let them live their life and bite your own bullet, or you’re a selfish person
@BusArch424 жыл бұрын
We have probably over saved for retirement because we are petrified of becoming a burden to our kids. My MiL has been draining first her son and then both of us for 30 years. It’s a terrible burden. Helping is one thing but people seem to think they have a right to not work and live off their kids. Not okay
@BusArch424 жыл бұрын
Drow Jackson other cultures have enough pride to actually work as long as they are able. Here people feel that they can just sponge because they don’t want to work.
@carlkpsplucky55544 жыл бұрын
Sir We Are About to Die No one is against helping their parents, but when you have to make phone calls in the closet of your own house, that’s a problem. The newly weds can’t even enjoy their own space. Just imagine how quiet they have to be in the bedroom, due to the in-laws being in the next room. What happened when they have children, and the children need those rooms the in laws are inhabiting. It’s not fair.
@carlkpsplucky55544 жыл бұрын
Sir We Are About to Die saying what?
@adam__mark3 жыл бұрын
2:57 Dave dropping truth bombs 💣 I love it 🥰
@manoflegacy3 ай бұрын
Nailed it. If they say they will not leave, file for eviction. Great example of why boundaries are so important. They go or she goes.
@Onthebluffs4 жыл бұрын
Calls like this make me feel blessed for the in-laws I have!
@dannyh90104 жыл бұрын
My mom was always ahead of this issue. She had a pretty decorative plate with gold trim hanging prominently on the wall with a gilded inscription: “Fish and houseguests begin to stink after 3 days.”
@marknewton6984 Жыл бұрын
A Ben Franklin quote...
@maryloubrunner75843 ай бұрын
5@@marknewton6984
@hollytalbott72912 ай бұрын
My mom use to say this.
@jaeshasway3 ай бұрын
It’s unfortunate but they may have to evict them if they don’t go willingly.
@minnien46674 жыл бұрын
This one had good advice. I can’t imagine moving in and living indefinitely with my daughter and her family.
@bonnevillebagger91474 жыл бұрын
1 year is not indefinitely and the parents were invited to live there by the kids.
@tinateews94944 жыл бұрын
@Atty. Johnny Sins Personal Finance Agreed with you because majority of them feel like their kids owe them something. They mix love into everything so if you don't do as they wish, you don't love them, etc. One way expectations.
@drowjackson35124 жыл бұрын
Atty. Johnny Sins Personal Finance and if you have kids for that reason you are a bleep-hole
@tinateews94944 жыл бұрын
@Atty. Johnny Sins Personal Finance Actually in Asians cultures, the kids benefit a lot more from their parents financially or any support kids may need. Whether helped out financially or simply offered free childcare. The parents tend to be financially ok, not sure about $500 you're talking about. That's not alot to live off at all. The only problem is in return the kids have to follow their parents wish or they'll be seen like they don't love their parents. Not much boundary and more expectations from the kids in that sense. That's why I said they mixed love into everything. Asians families often bonding well but there's up and down like any groups.
@peggygardner17414 жыл бұрын
What kind of parents think this is alright? I would never put my children in this situation.
@sleepy5804 жыл бұрын
I’ve lived this nightmare! My heart goes out to you.
@PInk77W14 жыл бұрын
“If u can keep your mouth shut.” LoL
@semilladearandano4 жыл бұрын
So refreshing to hear someone who calls it as it is in a country where passive aggressiveness reigns supreme. God bless your heart Dave!
@SisterSnoe4 жыл бұрын
We have been in that situation but it was for the good as we were being abused financially and emotionally , my husband got fed up and gave his 4 family members a 48hour notice to leave our house!!!
@slidegirl60054 жыл бұрын
Sounds like a good husband!
@CarnivoreStork4 жыл бұрын
Then what happened? Did they leave?
@buyerbware254 жыл бұрын
You really found out who your in-laws really are - the hard way.
@sudhanvakashyap2974 жыл бұрын
Oooof
@blacklily6244 жыл бұрын
4 members!! Dang 48 hours !!! He wasn’t playing bet they found somewhere to go too. Smh.
@AmandaHugenkiss29154 жыл бұрын
Good point where he tells her not to say anything nice. It will undermine her husband as he's trying to grow that pair.
@fabulosity77324 жыл бұрын
Well said Papa Ramsey! Thank you for being the “dad adviser”to many in very difficult situations. We all can learn from other people experiences.
@buffymcmuffin53614 жыл бұрын
Love Dave's straight talk. The problem is not your in-laws - the problem is your husband. "Lovable Slacker" parasites.
@buffybanks98533 жыл бұрын
Facts
@jennym0074 жыл бұрын
OMG! What disgusting parents. These guys are married LESS THAN A YEAR and the parents just won’t move out. I can’t believe the hide of some people. 😕
@TannerSwizel3 жыл бұрын
I feel she shouldn't be in the room at all. I would be worried her sitting there silent in front of them would make the in-laws think she is silently pulling the strings to their eviction.
@maemccleary32834 ай бұрын
They will think that no matter what. Guaranteed.
@justocho90904 жыл бұрын
The in-laws are an issue but the problem with your husband who invited them so it’s his job to get rid of them
@The22Jeanne3 ай бұрын
9:23 "The absurdity of that picture illustrates how bad you need to deal with this."
@joshua86274 жыл бұрын
My dad is like that. He actually took a lot of money from me when I was living with him. Then he wanted to get married. So I moved out and separated all of our accounts. He can't take money from me anymore
@joshua86274 жыл бұрын
I am thankful. That's why I supported him for many years. I payed the mortgage and bills for many years. He didn't have to pay anything. Even then, he started taking money from me. Then he wanted to get married which is another mouth to feed on my dime. I am thankful but not thankful to feed my dad's wife, a complete stranger who I don't know at all.
@tinateews94944 жыл бұрын
@Sir We Are About to Die We love our parents but when they feel entitled it's wrong. No one asked him or her to unzip their pants. If he or she does then they get that 18 years to love and care for their child. Children are gift from God but don't used them to feel entitled.
@joshua86274 жыл бұрын
@@tinateews9494 yes I agree
@joshua86274 жыл бұрын
@Sir We Are About to Die yes you respect your elders, but you also he smart. My dad is still healthy and able to work if he is in need. He needs to learn a tough lesson.
@joshua86274 жыл бұрын
@Sir We Are About to Die people usually feel entitled no matter what their age. You are helping someone and they feel you should help them until they die. That's a bad mentality. Always be financially independent so you don't create a burden for others especially your children
@ericahope23944 жыл бұрын
I understand how hard this is. This exact thing happened to my husband and I 3 months into our marriage. His father came to live with us and it became one of the most stressful situations I’ve ever had to deal with.
@derekandlindsey-millionair95624 жыл бұрын
Yikes! I feel for this poor girl! Dave is absolutely correct, her husband needs to talk to his parents. She needs to talk with her husband and get him to make it land with his parents.
@SupernovaFallout4 жыл бұрын
Omg what he says about staying out of the room is so on point. I have a bad tendency to undermine serious conversations by coming in, cutting the tension etc.
@Lavishking7144 жыл бұрын
I would love an update on her situation 30 days from now!
@b610203 жыл бұрын
Even calling from the closet, so glad she called, has a plan she and her husband can put in action and hopefully will follow through. Dave's advice and action plan are the best. I've had a similar situation with my sister...do it now, don't wait like I did.
@knowledgeapplied3 ай бұрын
5:40 It's been neàrly four years since this video was uploaded. I'm curious to know what eventually transpired by now.
@bonzoreddick83674 жыл бұрын
2:27 I’m convinced Dave was about to say, “Your husband needs to grow a pair.” (You can hear the pause, and then he changes it to “...grow a backbone.” 😂)
@nancywidows4633 жыл бұрын
I love how Dave incorporates marriage counseling into about 50 percent of his calls. Thank God for that!
@ericak19494 жыл бұрын
Sounds like both of the parents need jobs, not just the father in law. They are viewing this as an early ticket to retirement!!
@williamporter3533 жыл бұрын
Black how are you going back to the house and I don’t
@bres99774 жыл бұрын
If she can, she should have up a vacation fund and tell her husband she’s doing to stay with her relatives for a while until he can get this figured out.
@unicorndnaranja58654 жыл бұрын
I like this idea. Voting with her feet let's it genuinely be his idea as to what HIS choice is.
@curiouscat3384 Жыл бұрын
She doesn't sound like she's THAT unhappy. She should continue to be firm and work things out before threatening her marriage!
@SlavaBagmut4 ай бұрын
Nope, doesn't go that way. In this case husband in laws will make him against her.
@Cee_Nelly4 жыл бұрын
Hardest thing ever, but the marriage comes first, before all else. As hard as it is, I wouldn't have ever invited my parents to live with us unless we had separate space. I love my parents and have a good relationship with them but I wouldn't offer such a thing, especially if I was newly married
@pigpjs4 жыл бұрын
Ah yes, the vampire parent/relatives. These people will bleed you dry without batting an eye. And once you let them in your home they don't leave. Dave's advice is spot on. This is the job for the husband to do. The caller can be there to emotionally support him and develop a game plan and practice the speech. But the husband has to deliver it.
@nhgriff14 жыл бұрын
I would have a behind the scenes chat with hubby. Either they go or I do!
@marieriddick83884 жыл бұрын
She needs to be in the room when her husband tells his parents if not her husband may say the caller wants them gone. As the saying goes the callers husband will throw her under the bus.
@bettywith2girls3 жыл бұрын
Yes...that's actually what I'm afraid of too.
@ktt41712 ай бұрын
They will still think about it even if he had the biggest pair he could get, because they know that he would never come up with the idea, otherwise they wouldn't be there invading a new marriage. And if the husband gets the guts, at least they will know that he respects her and that they should respect her and their marriage, and that no matter what they believe they should keep quiet. But, YES... just hearing her looking for a miracle and SILENCES, i think he will throw her under the bus so as not to look bad with mom and dad.
@LIDABEAR3 жыл бұрын
“She’s a travel agent for guilt trips” BARS!
@jakeconrad60504 жыл бұрын
Uncle Dave you give the best advice you’re a genius
@zachwalters80014 жыл бұрын
I love Dave’s advice on this. Some parents do take advantage of their kids. And especially in some cultures like middle eastern and Asian they have the idea that kids take care of their parents no matter what. It’s okay to help parents out but in America it’s your responsibility to take care of your own retirement and help yourself out. Not just 100% rely on your kids for everything and they can’t tell you no.
@historiqueafricaine4 жыл бұрын
African parents are the same
@zachwalters80014 жыл бұрын
Historique Africaine yup I have had two roommates from Ghana. Yes they are.
@moneybee4 жыл бұрын
Always an interesting call when Dave plays Dr. Phil...
@olivewoo5224 жыл бұрын
Except Dave is more viewed and liked.
@juliedewyer13664 жыл бұрын
He's very good at it!
@tiffanygarthwaite7023 жыл бұрын
I love him more than Dr Phil 🥰
@hadenanderson5633 жыл бұрын
Referring to Dr. Phil is an insult to Dave.
@Herrera_703 жыл бұрын
Don't insult Dave!
@LG123ABC4 жыл бұрын
Option 4: Sell the house, move into a new place, and don't give the in-laws your new address!
@thefoodwench48484 жыл бұрын
Yes!! Option 5 if hubby doesn’t man up go home to mother
@LandonPauley4 жыл бұрын
Nope. That gives the family more power because the couple didn’t confront the situation.
@thefoodwench48484 жыл бұрын
@@LandonPauley but it would solve the problem.
@nicolevolcy35114 жыл бұрын
I was thinking that! Everyone move out!
@nicolevolcy35114 жыл бұрын
My solution. Build a nice little she shed and put them there! That’s what we will be doing on our land. The mothers will have their own tiny houses NOT under our roof 😂
@lakshmis6963 ай бұрын
She is so loving and caring, actually. But if they continue to interfere in her personal space, it can turn any sane person a devil .
@SailorOdessa3 ай бұрын
That's not how "living and caring" looks like.
@vocaloidhoe3 ай бұрын
I’m fortunate enough where it was hate at first sight! My MIL was a mean girl since day one so it’s a lot easier to close any possible doors to this kind of bs.
@Rudrakshpatel5553 ай бұрын
K
@daisyachiro67794 жыл бұрын
I love the way Dave says it he knows all the right words to say.
@dailywordnuggets81483 жыл бұрын
I had to do this..best thing I ever did for all of us!!!❤🙌👏...now we all have peace!🙏
@deivanaiannamalai6068Ай бұрын
Such a clear and motivating answer , They are not bad people, just that they are lazy, People are not saying No to them afraid to handle their reaction.... We love you, we truly love you, so we wanted you to move in but not for years together..... So nice❤
@MzBabsie4 жыл бұрын
I may sound harsh, but why move halfway across the Country with NO PLAN. There is no reason the Newlyweds must pay the price for the In-law's lack of preparation.
@charleneWL3 жыл бұрын
The in laws intention was to live on them until he collects his social security .
@Dark_Abyss3753 жыл бұрын
No that is not harsh it is something a parent would say to their child so there fore should not be something a child say to the parent. Children should not parent their parents
@thabsmkhize24814 ай бұрын
This is why I believe it was their plan all along to live with them. They may think they “offered” a place for them to live but they were probably manipulated into thinking it was their idea. These parents are sly.
@bobschnittman28564 жыл бұрын
Dave is amazing. He knows how to handle every situation perfectly.
@sharoncline41878 ай бұрын
If the father in law was unemployed he should have never been allowed to move in! They have no respect for their son or his marriage to even move in on a newly married couple!
@gayamaruyama712910 ай бұрын
Excellent advice DAVE !!!
@SimpleLife3864 жыл бұрын
You're the best Dave. This even helped me!
@coaler824 жыл бұрын
Dave hit this head on and delivered firm advice. This is exactly what she needed to hear. I feel bad for her, I sure would not want to be in that situation.
@debbieo97733 жыл бұрын
I was in that exact position as this lady nine years ago. Glad those days are behind me
@mirahahmamada7980Ай бұрын
The “lovable slacker” part really hit home. They’ll smile in your face and soften their voice when they need something but the need for help never runs dry and any blessing to their situation is never “good enough”. I’m so done allowing anybody to move in with me- they ALWAYS overstay their welcome. Not a single time have I had anybody stay with me for only a month or 2 weeks or something. And they NEVER leave on their own. You always have to remind them of the agreement you guys talked about in the beginning and then most of the times, they’ll act like they don’t remember. No more for me. I’ve learned my lesson 1,000x over and blame no one but myself lol
@ericaford14544 жыл бұрын
Maaaannnn, this is tough..... blessings to you Katy 🙏🏾
@pulln1002 ай бұрын
Would love to hear updates on these stories
@vitocorleone14624 жыл бұрын
There's definitely a time and place for the phrase "man up" and it needs to be used more than ever before.
@twilde37544 жыл бұрын
The BEST advice EVER!!!!!! Listen to DR!
@richardtrip-siwes3884 жыл бұрын
Greetings from the Netherlands,and thank you for what you do!