I miss my mom. 2 years in Europe, 3 years after my plastic surgery.

[@Bokgat]

You are showing your human side. I always wonder about people in the adult industry . It must be a lonely life and few show any outward emotions and turn to drugs and alcohol as a result. You are strong and Thankyou for being a human being. Consider getting out of the industry and funding a soul mate. You are beautiful.

[@lewismanzon5074]

PHILIPPIANS 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God:)

[@derekcheung4248]

You are beautiful charming talented. And And you are never alone

[@user-Dhemotius]

Not alone what?💀

[@lewismanzon5074]

JOSHUA 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.

[@MrTheatre2]

You are super intelligent young lady and gorgeous.....hang in there..wish i could have met you and showed you around Ireland

[@sasa426426]

You are pretty and I wanna give you hug.

[@lewismanzon5074]

EPHESIANS 5:20 always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

[@seanleon2766]

Stay strong, Queen. I have faith in you, and to me, you are amazing and crazy gorgeous. You get to experience the world and see new things. I get it. Family is so important, and they are the precious treasure in our lives. 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

[@lewismanzon5074]

PROVERBS 24:16 for though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again, but the wicked are brought down by calamity.

[@lakraki7916]

You seem like a sweet person and i feel for you. I feel lonely very often as well. I think by you being courageous like this, it atleast inspires others to dare to be vulnerable and hopefully, they can build their courage to also share their hardships with someone. Thank you for sharing.

[@lailaaugustine9054]

Seeing you cry makes me cry :

[@lewismanzon5074]

PSALMS 42:1 As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God.

[@ksquire1]

Just want to give you a hug Rae, you’re beautiful! Sending my love, things will be ok ☺️

[@lewismanzon5074]

LUKE 1:37 For with God nothing is impossible." PHILIPPIANS 4:13 I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

[@adrian5737]

You are not alone girl, stay strong. Me and a lot of people are having similar problems, but keep fighting, every day. Much much love from Spain 🤍

[@acespade5841]

เราเป็นผู้หญิง แต่เราชอบเรมากกกก ไม่ใช่เพราะหนังผู้ใหญ่หรืออะไร แต่เพราะที่เรเป็นเรและมันน่ารักมากกก ภาพสาวเปิ่นๆคนหนึ่งที่น่ารักมาก ขี้อาย แม้แต่จับมือยังเขินอายเลย สาวสตรองที่ออกมาเริ่มต้นใหม่คนเดียว ยิ่งติดตามก็ได้เห็นหลายๆมุมว่าเก่งแค่ไหน รักเธอมากนะStay strong.❤

[@lewismanzon5074]

JOHN 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

[@swapnildawar6426]

You can do it champ , believe in yourself ❤

[@SySoundwave]

Omg, I know exactly how you feel, wishing you the best, sounds like you need people around you who are genuine, and to just give you a hug when you feel down.

[@abhimanyuburge9749]

you know right thaat she's a porn star ?

[@marcoholl9358]

Rea keep your head up your are so amazing and bautiful All my love from Austria

[@abhismirai10]

You are beautiful. From inside and out

[@hectorzavala6575]

You are very strong and brave, you have a beautiful heart. As someone that has been single for a really long time, I know it does suck sometimes. You person will come, have hope. The person that gets you heart, will be very lucky. Much love and hugs from California. 💗💗I just want to give you a hug. 😢

[@Saisai12382]

Oh Really wanna give you a hug , you are such beautiful woman no matter you did surgery or not and you have a brave soul ! As woman I feel so jealous that god give you such beautiful appear and inner ❤

[@waltermanfred826]

Heartfelt and moving video that shows a beautiful vulnerable person behind the glamour. Like you, I too will somehow focus on the negatives among the sea of positive affirmations I get. But in time, I came to accept that I cannot please everyone all the time. That inevitably I WILL get some hate and negatives. Especially in the cruel world of social media. As fo the sense of depression and melancholy, I found a correlation between the weather and my state of well being. Not saying that it's you but it may simply possibly be you suffering from Seasonal affective disorder, or SAD, is type of depression. It happens during certain seasons of the year-most often fall or winter. It is thought that shorter days and less daylight may trigger a chemical change in the brain leading to symptoms of depression. Just compare that look and swagger when you are in Thailand to the winters of Europe. Anyway, stay strong Rae. You are very much loved ....

[@JN-vn4ng]

I think there is high possibility that you are most beautiful thing in earth. 😊 Hope everything good for you. I was in Japan few months ago and enjoyed being there a lot.

[@lewismanzon5074]

PSALMS 34:10 The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.

[@thewichtarnproongsak8634]

Fighting, sister Rae is so beautiful and encourages everything Love and follow FC From Thailand 💓💓💓💓💓😥✌✌🥰🥰

[@a.julien4288]

You are so brave and for all the time that a follow you on social media, i can see how life is difficult for you. I wish to give you flower, food, a good hug and some of my time to talk about life🖤

[@linteresa35]

You are strong and beautiful Rae!!!!!!!!! Even though it is hard everyday, try to love yourself a little more each day is all that matters. You have many people who think you are beautiful and support you

[@tonyhobman]

First two years in London was so lonely. Getting a small group of GOOD people around me made my world happy again. Was many years ago and in your work it must be hard to meet long term friends but look for good hearted friends. It keeps your own heart full

[@ajsoreal9716]

Your such a beautiful soul be strong you got this

[@ДесиславаКадийска]

You are very beautiful !!! I am sending you my love !!! 💗💓💞💘💖

[@prasanthp4792]

You are beautiful and strong person. Everything will be alright.. be happy

[@parinkhanan6488]

you must be patient. Whoever said that in a bad way, it's okay. because the people who love you more than the people who hate you I'm rooting for you. Keep fighting

[@mazaru-qo5ov]

You know your smile is so cute it makes me want to see your smile every day.❤❤❤Please don't go away..I'm waiting to see your smile every day..please❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@danielmcanulty1562]

I hope this year treats you well, you deserve to be happy! And to feel pretty. People are such assholes and so hurtful, I don't know why they are like that.

[@hdkst86]

You are a fighter! Keep following your dream. And it's nornal it changes sometimes. You are very strong and brave to share your life with us, not only the good parts. And yes, you are beautiful (inside and outside) and we will support you always 💪💪

[@xice.]

Your parents would proud of you Because of your great work.

[@hannibalzelfin1319]

Love your vids. Will watch them again later.

[@MUIOzone]

Parents are a great force. Everyone misses you, family is the most important and important encouragement for us. ✌✌

[@andres6790]

It's good to let it out those feelings ❤️ Nice shirt 🤘🏻

[@rosecarlido1683]

your life is a blessing feel free everywhere you go you are beautiful❤

[@shubhamkhandagale8255]

Your not ugly, your ugly that's joke not reality, your so gorgeous by face,body and soul

[@thanidabordiphong6370]

You’re the most beautiful and pretty person I’ve ever seen. Top 10 in my whole life. It broke my heart to see you crying and not confident about your appearance. I don’t think anyone can tell you enough how pretty you are. It’s you who have to work on the view of yourself. You are beautiful. Period. I wish you feel better now and learn to love yourself and ignore those negativity. You could start with try not to read them or just disable the comment section. Please take care of yourself first, others can wait. Thank you for being brave and open to share this with the world! Fighting!❤❤

[@desmond8857]

Its incredibile how different people feels The same. About The future, about work, about how many friends are real in this life. You are not alone in this.

[@_max_kt7228]

No matter where you are, if your heart is not happy, it will always be uncomfortable like this. Take care of your heart too. People who love and like you have a lot. Don't be overwhelmed with emotions that make you cry often. I won't tell you where you should be, but you will know where to make you less sad. from Thai people who understand you

[@KcBull]

I completely understand I have only been here for 6 months and I miss my home so much so I can only imagine how 2 years is. It's hard cause meeting people here is hard cause the Dutch from what I have seen are nice but not exactly warm or open so... I truly hope you feel better after your Japan trip cause I know I won't see my home for another 8 months and I am dreading that time. You are very strong for how you have made it this long on your own.

[@schnitzeltorte6293]

This is really a big deal, of course everyone feels down, but thank you for being so brave and sharing all these feelings with us all. Im sure we all are there for you, we'll support every decision you make as long it'll make you happier. I know you wont but if you just want to talk to some random people on the internet, then I'll be here!

[@schnitzeltorte6293]

Also sending cuddles from Germany and im sure everyone else from all over the world too

[@naputsawanchanakarn3821]

You’ll get through this don’t get discouraged

[@SwizzyRS]

We are here for you Rae through the tough and good times ❤❤👏 you’ve come this far and you’re doing great, keep your head up! We know you’ve got this 🎉 ありがとう！

[@capnjack9649]

YOU ARE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL HUMAN BEING I HAVE EVER SEEN 😍😍😍😍 RAE THE ONLY OPINION THAT MATTER ARE YOUR OWN .. YOU MAKE THEM REALITY .. THAT'S WHY WHEN PEOPLE SAY NEGATIVE THINGS ABOUT YOU.. THERE IS A PART OF YOU THAT AGREES WITH THAT AND THAT'S WHY IT'S HURTING YOU. I WONT LIE WITH YOUR LINE OF WORK YOU CANNOT ESCAPE PEOPLES REACTION EVEN WHEN YOU ARE MEETING A NEW PERSON, BUT YOUR FAMILY WILL BE THERE FOR YOU AND YOU WILL BE THERE FOR YOUR FAMILY AND THAT'S WHAT MATTERS IN THE END .. FRIENDS COME AND GO .. Captain Jack Sparrow: "You may kill me but you may never insult me" 😁

[@kingofcons7279]

Intention, inspiration, destination..and share with someone we trust..that's all, life.

[@enwz96]

best wishes to you Rae, big hugs.

[@Medvid3k]

You are strong, wish you luck 👀

[@ชาคริตอภิญญาประเสริฐ-ฮ7ฦ]

Be patient, my dear, stay strong for the days ahead. We will stand beside you and not leave you anywhere. We are Thai people🎉😊

[@johnnysins6851]

Call your parents and say how much you appreciate them and how much your missing them. We all are facing our fears of being unsuccessful, left alone

[@RaeLilBlackOfficial]

I do constantly ☺️

[@taehyunggariskeras]

Mantap John

[@noexceptions8438]

I just got this on my yt and I'm confused about everything? Can somehow fill me in

[@danskyl7279]

​@@RaeLilBlackOfficial That's a cool Black sabbath shirt, rad. 👍😊

[@Said-op3sf]

Give me Rae lil black numbers I want marry to Rae

[@NorthernBlade-]

Hey Rae I'm following you since quite some time now and i love your videos, idk what to say in situations like these I'm very bad at conversations therefore i never comment also but today i wanna just tell you that you're gorgeous and very beautiful atleast to me and I'm not saying this just to make you feel good i really mean it. And for people who talk shit ik it's not easy to ignore everyone but there's a very famous dialogue from where I'm which translates to "Don't scare someone so much that the fear is gone" so ik rn when people call you ugly it hurts but eventually you'll get to a point where you'll stop giving fucks to such retards. I just wish that you make a very nice and close friend there that would solve almost every problem you're going through rn imo. Until then just remember that you have a family of millions of your fans who always want to see you happy and cheerful and i love that you're so open with us we are here for you always! I love you a lot ❤️

[@danishshafique779]

Don't cry 😢 Rae

[@lewismanzon5074]

PSALMS 2:9 You will rule them with an iron scepter; you will dash them to pieces like pottery."

[@markhaldor3225]

I feel your pain and admire your vulnerability. Such a pure soul. I know you’re in london atm. Please reach out if you need a friend as happy to help. All will work out as it’s meant to.

[@thanachayasuwannatee-nw5rl]

Thank you for sharing this with us Rae. I actually plan to study my master in other continent where the wheater is not that good and people are not that nice compared to my home country. It's about the differences in culture and wheater mixing together and I am preparing myself to face that since there will be no one around there. Just me in that whole big country for 3 years without returning to my country due to the limited budget. I could imagine how difficult you have been through and it is okay to feel that way. You have been strong all along and I truely admire that. Sometimes, it takes time to learn about life and to realize something. Maybe you couldn't find the answer at the moment. But as time passes, I believe you will start to realize something and eventually you will feel better. Just don't push yourself in the present too hard.

[@jamesxaysettha2468]

No matter how discouraged you feel, you should know that there are still families, parents, and sisters who are always waiting to encourage you. Anything bad, any bad words, don't keep them in your heart, think it's a breeze, let it blow away. I want to encourage you to keep fighting !!! #FC

[@davidmartinlazcano3637]

I feel so sad, I wish I could help you, and I realy hope you feel better soon, as an inmigrant I understand you totally but when you open your feelings like in this video you show that you are much more than a pretty girl (without any doubt you are). In the south of Europe I guess is easier doing closer friends and the weather help more. I am sure you will find son good friends and the love.❤. I send you a huge hug and all support from a Spanish fan who works in Bratislava (slovakia)

[@henrykao684]

Been a fan of you. Be yourself. Do what you want to do. Dunn live with regret. Life is short. Do what is right. Stay positive.

[@jorrellds6520]

Damn Rae, Sorry you're feeling like this. Reach out to those close to you, you will be surprised how many people genuinely want the best for you... and take your time.

[@An0nym0usOP]

It's nice to discover some more hidden sides of some people. If I am writing this message it means that you have sent something good. Don't break down and be strong. Sorry for my bad English, a big hug from Naples, you are the strongest.

[@NaimadLoL]

You are saying so many important and relatable things in this short video, thank you so much for sharing this with us. I am so sorry for you feeling that way about yourself and also that the love and passion for your work ist slightly getting less. I hope you will be able to work with the right people who make you feel comfortable and loved.

[@naputsawanchanakarn3821]

Believe in yourself. you are not alone all your fans Wish you happiness and hope you are very happy. You can come to Thailand. There are many friends waiting to help you. You may need to rest during this time. I'm cheering for you.

[@lightfury3390]

We love you way every things you do and you wish to do in the future. We are by your side even if you can't see it. love u from Thailand.

[@aeroAdvocate]

Moving to a different continent and culture can sometimes be overwhelming, especially if you try to shoulder it alone. Don't give up, and if you feel you really want to return home, that is always an option. Be strong & be well! xx

[@miroslavdimitrov5207]

Omg Rae, you made me cry too while watching you and i fully understand you because im actually at the same situation like yours, left my home for a new life and now not having no one like you and just being single too for more than 6 yeras and eveyrthing the same .... what ever it happens never give up and always remind yourself why you did the first step.... and i hope to meet you one day and see you smile ^ _ ^

[@destinyoffitness]

You are the best mam 💛 stay positive stay happy i love you ❤️❤️

[@BRLRIDERLIFE5578]

สู้ๆครับ คุณเร สวยอยู่แล้ว ถึงจะร้องให้บ้าง จะเป็นไรไป ผูดมันออกมา ระบายมันออกมา เดียวก็ดีขึ้น ครับ FC ตลอดครับคุณเร

[@FreddyGunawan]

She is trying to fix her life. Please support her. Haters gonna hate😢

[@iemeeyhaha]

Hey Rae, I’m here to give you some girl’s power and I really appreciate you being so vulnerable in front of the camera. People don’t see living abroad, stand on their own feet is actually extremely tough!! As a fan, allow me to say you look stunning all the time ❤ sometimes we feel weak and not 100% and it’s okay!! I saw many of us commenting here showing our support 🫶🏻 hope you feeling better right now, you are doing great !!!

[@ziamxiao8516]

I believe your way, Bless you feel good soon. 💝💝💝

[@kaogy7771]

It's very sad to see you cry:< As for parents and home: everyone who has ever moved to another country faces this problem. You are amazing because you were able to learn another language (switching from Japanese to European languages ​​is very difficult, as far as I know). Living in a foreign country for 3 years is a very strong act and you deserve respect at least for that!

[@markhill7392]

I work in an industry that isolates me. I'm around ppl yes but they are always strangers and I've always felt small and insignificant in the world. Loneliness is soul crushing and I feel you completely. This is a year later and I hope you are around loved ones.❤

[@bjorn_serkr]

i loved your work with danny d

[@ashleytran61]

this aint the place for that my guy

[@bjorn_serkr]

@@ashleytran61 but it is doh

[@ashleytran61]

@@bjorn_serkr nah. she talking bout something serious and is letting herself be vulnerable on the internet. for the one time, leave her work out of this and see her as a human being. show some mf empathy or don't say anything at all lmao

[@littleworld9970]

เราเป็นกำลังใจให้คุณเสมอ Fc Thailand 💝

[@vincenttayelrand]

It's okay to feel down, try not to get more depressed because you feel depressed. Amsterdam can be rather gloomy if the weather is bad, but I recall how joyful it is to see how the city blooms to life once the spring weather arrives . For what it is worth - you are glorious. The very fact that you are here today makes the world a little brighter and I thank you for that. Hang in there - this too shall pass

[@TheAsylumchild]

I don't care if anyone makes fun of me for this but you are always in my Prayers, Rae. You are a beautiful soul and I want you to know I see you. You will find happiness and joy. Keep looking. Keep living. If you seek it, you will find it. You just have to look in the right places. There's a bible story that comes to mind (don't skip over this, it's important). Jesus was at a well one day and a Samaritan woman came to the well to get water. Jesus asked her for a drink and she was surprised that He even talked to her because Jews and Samaritans didn't talk to each other. He told her these words "whoever comes to drink from this water will thirst again, but whoever drinks from the water I provide will never thirst again". He wasn't just talking about water in the well. So many times, people go to a well to get what they think will satisfy them, but the water only takes care of their thirst for a little while and then they get thirsty again. We have to "drink" of the Living Water that will truly satisfy our need for love and guidance. Also, you being homesick made me think of the Prodigal son story as well. You are so close to having a everything you ever needed or wanted. If you ever doubt, try praying. I know it sounds stupid at first, but it will surprise you. Love and blessings for you Rae

[@NnNn-if6oq]

Your not going to fuck her

[@Fukima-z2l]

最近チャンネル発見した新参者です🙋消えてしまいたいという気持ち、まさにそう思うときあるー！！とRaeさんの悩みや葛藤、共感することが多くて頷きながら観ました😭1年以上経って今はもう少し心穏やかにすごせていますように🙏Raeさんの美しさは容姿だけじゃなくて表情やオーラもだと思います。それって日々の努力や人柄からも出ている美しさなんだと思います！セクシーでしなやかで、女でも惚れ惚れするほど美しいです💖haterのコメントより、このコメントがRaeさんに届きますように🙏

[@edenx8401]

Take care, you are beautiful and you know it.

[@floppydiskdisk]

I want you to know you're loved and appreciated ❤️

[@pinkyyuka9940]

Sending love from Tokyo💕 you look AMAZING just don’t give a fuck to what others say 🫶🫶🫶

[@am_me303]

We always support you, we are your friends.✌

[@kuyalumpiangsariwa8993]

Oh man thats hard. Your parents too should be missing you. I only started following you and i was surprised that this is the first vid i see. Your pretty with or with out the surgery dont think otherwise. If you need friends we are here if you need someone to talk to then we your subscribers are willing to hear you out ok. We may not be there to confort you but know that we are here. Not all of us is looking at you because of the sexy stuff. Many is seeing you as you. As a human. I hope you cope from this soonest. Ill pray for you

[@RadoBkk]

I truly feel you, I moved to Bangkok almost 10 years ago, and things are more or less the same you said. Hope to see you when you’ll come back to 🇹🇭 meanwhile, take care and enjoy your time with your family. ❤

[@vivanlulz]

We Love You Rae🫂.We're there for you and are always there to support you🫂!

[@deustaitan]

I would love to give you a big hug

[@amanmittal20991]

Seeing this video of yours made me a bit sad, because I saw you training so hard for Muay-thai and you are such a committed person. I never saw you before surgery but you are really beautiful what you are now. You are right its hard to ignore hatred but I can say that with certainty that you are loved by way more people🤗🙂

[@waraphalong]

กอด ๆ น้าคุณเรวดีคนเก่ง การเป็นผู้ใหญ่มันไม่ง่าย แต่คุณจะผ่านมันไปได้ในทุกสถานการณ์ ❤❤

[@skdcbclsx9]

ดูคลิปแล้วร้องไห้ตามพี่เรเลย หนูคิดว่าพี่สวย พี่สวยมาตลอดถึงจะศัลยกรรมหรือไม่ศัลยกรรม พี่สวยมาจากข้างในจิตใจมันเลยส่งออกมาถึงข้างนอกพี่เลยเป็นพี่เรที่น่ารักแบบนี้ หนูเข้าใจพี่นะมันยากมากกับการอยู่บนโลกนี้ เราไม่สามารถเอาตัวเองออกมาจากคอมเม้นแย่ๆได้ แต่เราสามารถทำให้มันตรงข้ามกับสิ่งที่เขาบอกค่ะ พี่เรคิดถึงบ้านไม่แปลกเลยการเราอยู่คนเดียวนานๆแล้วไม่มีใครมานั่งฟังเราว่าวันนี้เจออะไรมาบ้าง มีคนถามว่าวันนี้เป็นไง มันก็กลายเป็นเราเก็บเอาไว้จนอย่างวันนี้ที่พี่เรได้ออกมาพูดกับกล้องอธิบายทุกอย่าง หนูดีใจนะที่พี่เรออกมาพูดระบายให้ฟัง หนูหวังว่าเร็วๆนี้พี่จะดีขึ้นและกลับมาสดใสเป็นพี่เรคนเดิมอีกครั้งนะคะ สู้ๆค่ะ I love you

[@edward0]

Wishing you the best, hope things work out for you soon, its very stressful and sad sometimes being alone

[@raidmax007]

Dear Rae, Living abroad alone can be an incredibly challenging experience, but it can also be an incredibly rewarding one. While it's natural to feel a sense of homesickness and loneliness, remember that you are embarking on a journey of self-discovery and growth. I hope you can stilll encounter new (real) friends, and new experiences that will broaden your perspective and enrich your life in ways you never imagined. I had also this kind of feeling when I was living in another city, while pandemic was. I was so happy to see my friends and family after many weeks. Maybe that's why I moved back, but tomorrow I will have an interview which will be about moving into Poland for a special oppurtunity. Don't know for sure, after seeing you struggling but I will see. It's okay to feel overwhelmed at times, but don't forget to be kind to yourself. Give yourself time to adjust and don't be afraid to reach out for support when you need it. There are people out there who are eager to connect and help you feel more at home in your new environment. Remember that you are not alone in your struggles. Many people have gone through similar experiences and have come out stronger on the other side. Take comfort in knowing that this journey will make you a more resilient and empathetic person. I haven't followed you on youtube but now this gives me a total different view about this "metalhead sister" and you have my respect which has nothing to do with your work. Take advantage of the opportunities that come your way and embrace the challenges that come with living abroad. This is your chance to discover who you are and what you're capable of. After listening your video, what I would do is to focusing more to people instead of traveling, and collecting memories. Engage in activities with people/friends that make you feel happy or relaxed. This has been always a help for me for hard times. How can you ignore the haters? Well, in time when you will be more busy with your friends, and maybe less with your online community your confidence should become stronger. I hope some-was this comment will help for you.

[@canadalandinmichaelolsen802]

7.7 billion people on the planet and you have a huge chance to be an amazing influence on the planet. I myself went though a really dark life. But I hope you can find your salvation and making a future that doesn't stress you out so bad.

[@zaaxtar]

Don't worry rae you always make me happy when I'm alone I watch your videos 😢but now i saw you crying i can't explain my heart also crying😢 ❤ please be happy in your 🙏💕

[@_inmm]

Look back how far you have moved and recharge the energe to go forward again. Everybody needs that kind of process. I'd like you to have some tasty foods while you are in Japan. Kushikatsu and beer...! 😊 Stay strong Rae! Remember there are many people wish your everything will be okay, in South Korea as well!

[@guitarsaremyfriendzzz7077]

Rae I am sorry to hear you are having issues. Life can be tough. I just moved to Japan and it has been rough as I do not speak Japanese. Being an adult is rough. I understand this all too well. I feel the similar fear about my future and what it holds for me. I am 31 now and I want to get my Doctorate in Economics and get married. But at 31, I have had no good career experience among other issues. Also, it does not help trying to attract a girl when you are poor, ugly, and you cannot communicate well. But I have to push on because I know that my work will help people someday. I constantly get told I am not good enough for anybody or anything. I constantly get turned down by people that don't even know me, telling me that I am generic and I will never amount to anything. Girls non-stop turn me down and I have been told to kill myself before because of it. I could go on forever. But... I am glad that I have had it hard. It put my on course to make the world a better place and I work everyday studying 5 or more hours to get ahead. I know that this pain and loneliness may never end but that I have to shoulder it to lift others up. Life sucks. It really does. But we can't lose sight of the future and our goals. Matt Tuck from BFMV said Rock Am Ring once that the boxer that goes the extra round wins the fight. So just keep going. Yes, there are going to be assholes that talk crap because they think your ugly, and they will knock you on your ass. But you have to have the courage to keep fighting and get back up. I don't know if you have been talking with a therapist or not but if you could get in touch with one I think it may help. I had a great therapist that helped me through a lot when I was 20 years old. Also, try setting up times to Skype with friends and family if possible. Me and my parents Skype every Saturday and 9 AM like clockwork. It really helps when you are feeling down because it sounds like your parents are great people and that they really love you. I am sure they will not mind. We all love you Rae and we hope for the best for you and we support your decisions. Please cheer up and enjoy yourself. PS They are holding Knotfest in Japan this year! I know you are a metal head. So maybe you should look into something like that. I always enjoyed concerts and met cool people there. Best of luck!

[@lauralee-4859]

It's okay Rae. Just call you parents and tell them how you are feeling and stuffs. I really like you and how honestly you are sharing these things to us. I only have to say is like just don't give up... have courage and then conquer this world with love. Wishing a very happy and healthy life ahead Rae. God bless you

[@SteelDragon1986-i8k]

Happy International Women’s Day Rae you are strong beautiful and your mukbang outtakes make me laugh 🤣🤣🤣

[@claraspindler-jw8xj]

Lot of things that you going through, i’m into too, anxious about my future and find everything easier before, adult life is difficult at our age because we just came in. You talking about surgery, i do tattoos to feel prettier too, ofc i love them but i dont really feel prettier because we know its deeper than that. But we are beautiful. Whathever ppl say. Can imagine how hard it is to have haters all day, mentally, But dont think you arent love. You are loved by many ppl, your friends (and having lot of friends dont mean they are real friends so count on your real) and look what you have accomplished! You can be proud of you. You stay humble, with your beautiful soul and that’s why we are with you. When you gonna see your family and friends in Japan, take the greatest time you can this is so much important 🌞

[@อ.เอิร์ทพาเที่ยว]

I understand your feelings well, you are a very strong woman, please have patience. Even though I won't go But can call and talk when we can talk, don't think too much, keep fighting

[@martinlangstrom8036]

I see that this video is a year old. I am really hoping that you are feeling much better now. You seem like a really genuine and sweet person. There is so much hate on internet. And i understand that it is hard to ignore sonetimes. I just want to say that i wish you all the best. You are beautiful on both the inside and the outside. Be pround of yourself. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Try to live the life you want. Warm hugs from me, Martin❤

[@minceajah5608]

Life must go on, whatever things will be done...its human being thats need to love and be loved. Hope all be better with patience and smile❤

[@d1scomforted]

Give yourself time I feel bad that you felt this way. You crying hurts my heart and my heart is with you.❤

[@theWebWizrd]

It is very brave of you to share this much genuine emotion with the world! Stay strong - being an adult all by yourself is hard, and I think we all have to find our way to deal with life. You mean more than you realize to many people, me included. Know that you are not alone :)

[@Blacked.Hippie]

Growth over perfection 🌱