I Needed A Slave So I Got A Wife - My Time At Portia

[@evraynor]

"I don't need to make quick progress, I just need to make progress" oddly inspirational

[@yo4522]

Aweee 💕

[@TalkinKush]

write that down. write that down

[@aleczinman1115]

I wonder if he ever realized that IDIOT was her nickname for him, not the other way around. I love irony.

[@PaddyMausi99]

That comment killed me lmao

[@hoaithunguyen4473]

Oh THAT's why there was a 'prince' selection. I was just wondering about it

[@shawnlee5131]

You’re one silly fella, kids are free labour

[@cobrakingofeart]

was there an update that allows kids to grow up?

[@louisxu3621]

lol

[@cobrakingofeart]

@Noah Hastings are they actually able to work as children?

[@Jmak]

That's a good slave, I mean wife. 9/10

[@defuegodiablo4249]

I had a witty reply, but then I forgot it

[@cara_melly]

Not if you’re on the bottom of a well you’re not... I’m dead

[@agahnim0196]

"She passes by my door every morning.... that's why i maried her." That's the best reason i've heard for getting maried! XD

[@BoringAndrey]

That's how I met my wife

[@pescovisck]

Hey DF, you may know, but, you can hire Ack montly to work on your farm. He work better than wives, can cook for you and preview the weather. His storyline is quite funny.

[@AmjadKhan-jp3fk]

I was thinking of hiring him, I have a 5 x 5 square farm, will he be able to jump on the planters and pick the stuff in the middle or does he need a pathway to the planters?

[@pescovisck]

@@AmjadKhan-jp3fk is better when he has a pathway. If not, he can glitch through the fence after running on it for some time.

[@SL-wl7ol]

@@AmjadKhan-jp3fk he will run in place for a moment and then clip through the planters. You won't really notice it.

[@ConnerPlays360]

Who needs a wife when you can just marry Ack

[@A_Dead_Angel]

Starting off the video with a death threat. *Lovely.*

[@alyshay82597]

It wouldn't be DF without the occasional death threat

[@MutedHiccup]

i found DF putting "IDIOT" as a pet name way funnier than i should have edit: saw that split second of dialogue where she calls you "IDIOT" which makes it 10x funnier

[@NicaMalfoy]

*"I FORGOT I HAVE A HORSE" "REMINGTON YOU FAIL AS A HORSE"*

[@WalkingOnAirTomorrow]

"this is how children are made" you make this amazing game 10x better with your commentary and shenanigans and im so here for it

[@zack4423]

“I don’t need to make quick progress I just need to make progress” my senior quote

[@LaurenElizabethYT]

“So how did you know that she was *the one* ?” “Well... she walked past my house every day. And the rest is history.”

[@Dysputant]

Apples 1 timer Tree growing 2 timer Apples growing

[@tyarchus5704]

I like the Portia videos just as much as the Stardew Valley ones

[@dutchbiker7874]

Those videos are so good too, i laughed way to hard at such heartless jokes

[@io7710]

I’m WHEEZING at DF subtly roasting the mayor

[@humanaurora6620]

"Is it working? Are you pregnant yet?" Lmao

[@rebeccafalatic8862]

Why does the mayor look so skinny in his profile picture?

[@laurenmyers3533]

Doesn't everyone though

[@rebeccafalatic8862]

DrunkShroom yeah maybe

[@jessyann4063]

He’s catfishes lol

[@lazerbeams2536]

Photoshop

[@madfox8048]

FUCKING tinder

[@Reddemon815]

"The reason I'm making friends with a bowling ball [Gale] is because I get huge discounts' ooooooooooof

[@UghItsRei]

LMAO "I hope you get hit by lightning you homewrecker" "Clearly the problem... is I need more wives" I haven't played this game in awhile and this video just makes me want to get back in the game. Thanks DF.

[@williamknight60]

Is it worth it?

[@RealLifePokemon5]

Did you stop because it was boring?

[@RealLifePokemon5]

@@williamknight60 u bought it or naw?

[@williamknight60]

RealLifePokemon5 yes, it’s great

[@RealLifePokemon5]

@@williamknight60 did it get boring to u after awhile

[@badindiegamer]

DF: "Not from the bottom of the well you won't" Also DF: *doesn't install well* :|

[@GameBanditPc]

he knows what he will do if he does install it

[@stepsteppiesteproyes2723]

I just downloaded this game last night and spent a good part of the day playing it. Decided to look up some videos on hints and tips and I came across this. I haven't LOLed so hard in a while! Thank you for this delightful video. 😆😆😆

[@SweetestOfTheRolls]

"It looks a little bit smaller when I hold it in my hand, but can you see it?"

[@missgrinch5940]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😳😂😂😂😂😂😳😳😳

[@Bsuepify]

DF: "I made the wise choice to divorce my wife, who I am now going to remarry because she was actually useful." Me: *laughing evilly, then going to my ex's Facebook page and looking at his life fall apart because he doesn't know how to wash clothes or cook*

[@firockfinion3326]

It just isn't a DF video until there's relationship abuse.

[@DangerouslyFunny]

My Time At Portia - store.epicgames.com/dangerouslyfunny/my-time-at-portia This link helps support my channel!

[@kicka8757]

why should huh huh!!!!

[@sandraskender1388]

If u didn't leave a comment i woude have been First 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[@daanm3869]

@@sandraskender1388 what do you get when you are first?

[@kicka8757]

@@sandraskender1388 sorry

[@rebeccafalatic8862]

DangerouslyFunny I WILL BY SOMETHING I DONT KNOW WHAT BUT I WILL FIND SOMETHING

[@onionhombre]

Do more of this game since it just released from early access

[@dominiquekupersmith2185]

“Good news, slave wife, I spent our entire fortune on some magic beans or something!” 🤣🤣😂😂

[@Iyasenu]

Oh about the giant apple tree, it takes 21 days to grow into a full tree, then once it's fully grown it produces apples, aroma apples, and one giant apple (King Apple if it's fertilized for more of its growth cycle) every 21 days after that, forever. All trees are like that, the first timer is until it becomes an adult tree, then from then on the timers are until it produces its next batch. Animals don't produce unless they're fed, I think. Fed or pet, can't remember if it's one or the other, I only know that once they're adult animals, feeding is enough and you no longer have to pet. Though if you craft a Feather Duster, you can put that on the hotbar and left click with it near animals and it pets all nearby animals. And if you want workers on the farm, you should progress until you run into an NPC named Ack! Sure you hire him so it's not ~free labor~ like Emily, but he's reliable. And two helpers is better than one!

[@BennyLlama39]

DF: "Uh, if I'd known this was gonna lead to commitment, I wouldn't have done it." Me: And *that,* my boy, is why I don't waste time with relationships. 😀

[@alexandersupertramp151]

Halfway through the video I was like, we need a polygamy mod lol ;)

[@allisonjohnson3470]

“Not from the bottom of a well, you won’t!” This comment is the entire reason I watch these. 😂

[@hentaable]

I just wanted to thank you man. It was hard for me to sleep but your videos help me so much. I hope good life is ahead of you.

[@KarlaRei]

7:26 Even the horse was like, "Can you believe this old bag?"

[@smrenshaw]

Hey DF! I love your vids and I love My Time at Portia, so I am glad to see you trying it out again! You probably dont need any advice, but you can trade regular stone at A&G construction at a 1:1 ratio for wood. I now mine for wood for fuel!

[@MadPirateShin]

Thanks for the lols! I totally lost it when you held the fertility charm aloft.

[@scottvail7193]

Loved the video DF. Also the tree finished growing at that time but still had another 21 days to produce fruit. The timer was just to see when it was mature. You can see the timer by right clicking.

[@kamyasingh2221]

Nice update to farming simulator, almost feels like another game. 10/10

[@izzymenk3156]

"This is how children are made" DEAD! Lol

[@GretgorPooper]

Me at about 4 min: NO! EMILY, DON'T! HE'S A JERK!

[@jizzasterrr6185]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA ALSO ME

[@Ora0315]

Mumps made his way onto My Time In Portia?

[@nicolascarter1542]

Ora he play in beta

[@RedsnowHD]

Names marc not mumps

[@uku1994]

@@RedsnowHD he's referring to stardew valley. It's a similar game with same mechanics. U should watch his other vids

[@Libramaster84]

"Not from the bottom of the well you won't" LMAO!!!!

[@rafaelcastro.01]

A good way to get a lot of money is to capture and sell cotton llamas. Each sells for 11950 (IIRC), and you spend about 1000 for the materials to capture. Friday also has the highest paying comissions. A good universal gift is flowers, Alice sells 1 daily. Most people give +10 for receiving it.

[@Peuleite]

Please, make more “My time at Portia “ videos!! It’s just gonna launch on switch now

[@fantasy_Streamer]

Either gift the doll to Emily or place it inside the house

[@taylugreen]

I dont know why but that was so dry in humor, that makes it so hilarious 😂

[@JUCA10]

This is. by far. The FUNNIEST DF video 😂😂😂

[@etherwxlf]

Are you gonna play more Portia since it was officially released? :D I was chuckling throughout the entire video. Need more!

[@masonchristiano]

"that's right you old bag, second times the charm." 🤣🤣

[@dylancarroll4623]

You Should have put Master instead of IDIOT because she’s calling you an idiot. haha

[@The_Alumil]

“That’s right you old bag, second times the charm!” Holy FUCK I lost it lmmfao

[@AllieLatte]

Been playing this game for a week, found your videos. I'm crying from laughter. So accurate

[@EsmenettaRien]

That workshop name, dude... *10/10*

[@Swordfeather]

I never knew how much I needed to watch Caboose from RvB play video games until I found your channel

[@ExpressTacoVille]

Please continue this series

[@SushiiYay]

DF please try the Rune Factory Games!!! They are amazing!

[@danzobot4705]

Lol so after stardew you started with Portia to. I love you man haha

[@THY403]

"This is how childrens are made"

[@TheBarleyFunShow]

you have been friend zoned wow holy moly! thanks for all the likes and to the people who also subscribed, glad you like my content!

[@Gamer_Portal]

lol cool chan puppet man

[@SmoshGamesSpedUp]

lol

[@rinrin0rikuriku]

Me a year ago: DF is playing Portia. I'm going to wait until I have Portia to watch his videos. Me now: This is DF's last Portia vid and my depression has skyrocketed.

[@soheiri]

As a bowling ball, I spat out my drink when you said that line

[@comicsans2516]

Holy shit the new stardew valley update looks great!

[@Jonathan-kv3rn]

"making friends with the bowling ball" 💀

[@jessiehogue.]

Oh, wow. You're even more diabolical in this than you are in your Stardew Valley videos. Amazing.

[@LolitaLaceCotton]

Oh my gosh I am so glad you're making videos about my time at Portia, and also tips xD lol

[@PhoenixRoseYT]

DF could you please review the “Turn your cat into Harvey’s mustache” mod for Stardew? 💗

[@Kalesoup_]

the name is legendary

[@acidburnxp]

I definitely want more MTAP videos. These are great.

[@SamVanDam]

In this game, they call your property a workshop, not a farm.

[@migs192]

"Clearly I need more wives" Pfffff haha!

[@Mimerneos]

"Gooood morning ladies >:) " loll

[@PodLearnPro]

When you said "this is how children are made" i wonder how many were fooled?

[@NeverBestStudio]

Just got this game 2 days ago and I've already got 8 hours in...

[@cherubae1dw]

Thats nothin

[@rhoshe9629]

NeverKnowsBest Paulius do you still play it??

[@RealLifePokemon5]

Did it get boring are u done playing?

[@NeverBestStudio]

@@RealLifePokemon5 havent played in a while, been playing a ton of GTA RP lol. Wish there was multiplayer for it like stardew valley..

[@jennifercavenee7572]

I would never steal your lettuce, DF.

[@Bloodpix]

"I don't need to make quick progress, I just need to make progress." Should be the friggin motto for this game. I've spent 10 hours giving Pinky fish and chatting them and I am almost 2 stars. ALMOST......10 HOURS. I just want a fucking cat bro. Don't get me started on the romance.

[@trumansawyer515]

Dude your hilarious. Can't wait to start playing this farm sim next

[@Xenotrickster]

"It looks a bit smaller when I hold it in my hand"

[@Zyphiir]

As soon as the video starts I got an ad for divorce counseling for women

[@thevoid8393]

DF YOUR VIDEOS ARE ALWAYS GREAT

[@DanielCardenas23]

this is gold. you are gold. keep up the good work

[@MrScateboy]

I’m addicted to your simulator videos now 😂

[@theoblongbox4909]

0:38 I have to say, this was indeed dangerously funny.

[@LiqnLag]

Emily is such the Leah. Best workshop name ever.

[@Schwindlerh]

10 years for getting married? It's like Jacob's history in the bible

[@Spills51]

Something about the aestetic...I cant stand the look of it. I adore Stardew Valley but played this for a while and just cant satnd the look. I feel like the characters personalities kinda suck also. Crazy cause Stardew obviously doesn't hold a candle to this graphically, yet I would choose it every time over how this one looks. Honestly am jealous how many people really love this game cause I love this type of Genra...BUT NOT THIS GAME LOL. I think a big part is it is just way to DISNEY. I cant relate to any of the people. Stardew has a light tone but I find almost all of them relatable. Not a single one in this game. In fact, I think if any of them were on the Bus I would smack the shit outta them and give them all wedgies...and wet willies. Try that same shit on PAM and GET F"D UP!

[@XxM00nSHADExX]

I think part of the problem is their eyes are too small despite the chibi style. All chibi characters have big eyes-because having such adult faces on little bodies looks really weird. And the UI, while suitable, lacks style and feels too “social mediay?” Like it could work for a sims game but in this setting you’d want something a little warmer.

[@Kinjry]

It's really an unsettling style to look at. The small eyes, the disproportionate bodies..it's a little uncanny valley.

[@Mysisterdoesshorts]

"I,m assuming he likes calories" he can really tell a person bye what they look like Not feeding ur chicken?wow

[@jungsa4691]

plot twist, you were the slave!

[@lashifr]

This feels like Stardew Valley and Breath of the Wild combined. It looks fun though

[@RedHotMessResell]

I thought the name of my shop was funny until I saw yours... 😂😂😂

[@Ansible1000]

Whoa whoa whoa...YEAR FOUR!? I beat the entire game in about 1.5 years without really trying, and I had the fully-expanded lot with most of the house/building upgrades by the end. What have you been doing!? *Sees DF skipping days* Ohhh, that makes sense.

[@souhardyochandra1967]

That's a pretty eye catching title

[@veemoneo]

This looks like a modified 3D version of stardew valley if I’m being honest 👌

[@theshylittlefox]

It is so hard not kill the llamas when they are sleeping. I need more worn fur.

[@dzohytady4253]

You dont need for this wife, Just be close to Ack :-)

[@kikib8434]

I plan on marrying my future husband based on proximity, too. Genius 😉.

[@eseullee3176]

if you make swords or basic stuff and sell it on a good market day, you can make money easy~

[@taylordenny9647]

Haha! I like your style of video. Very entertaining 😅

[@Hayseed1976]

This was hilarious. I really need to get this game looks interesting.

[@eseullee3176]

i duno if you did the quest. But there are bandits that destroy your treasure delivery box ?_? check your mail?

[@asra-5180]

Clearly the problem is, that your wife isn't getting any animal products. I doubt they added that to the game.

[@unknownpigeon8691]

1:18 Boi is that a banana named "Ack"?

[@cherubae1dw]

OML Y THAT IS AMAZING