I Never Had A Girlfriend with Arden Rose

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ardenrose
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current playlist: open.spotify.com/playlist/0Nd9RaWji2D8Opac4FtIvY?si=75ad9cd7b6984f8a

[@darbie2295]

This whole episode is scary relatable to me. You just kept voicing thoughts I never fully understood or feelings I always have felt guilty for sharing. Just knowing you’re not alone and experiencing this feels so comforting. Thank you so much for this episode ❤

[@oliviayerico-piazza1550]

please get jennxpenn on here!

[@mbalimafuya1878]

No literally the JennxPenn mention took me back!!!

[@Gaby441]

Thisss I love Jenn!

[@noa2453]

YESSS

[@bigchungus9754]

PLS PLS JENN AND RACHEL!!!

[@chelsea5595]

I have t watched this yet so idk what they said about her but just from watching Jenn for years I feel like she wouldn’t do it lol I feel like she’s pretty private

[@samimatarante1214]

Arden articulated so many thoughts of my own that I've never found words for. As a queer woman in a straight-passing marriage with a man, I have felt all the guilt and self-erasure and grief without the understanding of what I was feeling. This episode was epiphany after epiphany. Thank you so much for having Arden on! This episode was like a hug for my little queer heart

[@barelyabigail2083]

As a fellow bi girlie with a husband I feel SO seen and heard, especially the conversation around grief in the midst of love. Followed for Arden for years and continue to relate so strongly to her POV. Thanks for sharing this convo!!

[@3Oh3metrostation]

As a bisexual who has only had 1 gf and comes from a traditional family, I appreciate this episode and the topics talked about. I am not out to my family so pride is important to me and I hope I have the courage to go one day even if I'm in a relationship with a man. I respect how much harder it can be to be a visible lesbian but my sexuality is also a huge part of my identity and I've had my breakdowns/hardships with being gay. That's why I also love the Dorothy merch because I love being part of the community and getting to express that in some way. I feel less alone in how I'm feeling and that others understand me.

[@sofrib]

really really really loved this episode. probably my favorite so far, for so many reasons. thank you arden for the honesty, saw a side of you that i really liked ♡

[@littleblueplanet222]

I had all of these feelings in my long term relationship (7 yrs) :( it was so perfect w him, we wanted to get married, but we ended up breaking up due to life circumstances (long distance) and I’ve finally been able to be gay and it’s been so healing. Strangely I have no regrets. It was a loving relationship and now I can go and explore that side of me.

[@WritingRN2]

OMG Shannon. This episode made me feel SO SEEN. I am Bi/Pan and I totally understand the idea of grieving what you never had. I always had thoughts in the back of my mind that I might not be straight, even though when my mom and I talked about it I would say I was because COMP-HET, YAY!😐. And my FIRST kiss ever was with a girl. Now that I have embraced being attracted to women too, I am going through an odd grieving process over the me I didn't get to be when I was younger. Every time I think about the girlfriends I never got to have it makes me want to cry. It really sucks. I will never know the joys of a youthful romance with a girl and that really hurts a lot. If only the representation was there the way it is now. Then I COULD'VE felt more comfortable knowing I was different and that it was okay. I also definitely get the "imposter syndrome" feelings that Arden spoke about because I KNOW I'm queer, but I do feel guilt because I can move in the world as "straight passing" and don't have to deal with the struggles that those who don't identify as bi/pan experience. And then I don't feel like I fit into the straight world either and honestly now that I have embraced my queerness I DON'T want to be seen as straight. Obviously I'm not changing how I carry myself because like Arden said, it's MY own thing and I don't want to feel like I'm "trying too hard" to show that I'm queer, because I know when I'm in queer spaces I may be looked at as inauthentic if I do that. It's definitely a struggle. I feel like I'm learning myself all over again and it's bittersweet. It feels good, painful, and lonely at the same time. Your podcast along with the other queer podcasters I watch because I've found them through your content have definitely been something of a handhold for me as I navigate this chapter of my life. So, thank you for being here. Words will never be enough to express how much you've helped me feel less alone.

[@someonesomehow379]

what a rollercoaster of an episode 😭 I love it

[@marinalouise26]

As a bisexual and someone who’s watched Arden my whole life it was so validating to hear her talk about grieving never being with a woman because you love a man, I really think this is something that ruined my relationship of 7 years (with a man) because I could not articulate this at all and every time I tried it came out wrong and all he probably heard was “I just wanna go sleep with women” when that was not at all the case.

[@Torsee]

Arden! Vivacious! A smile that makes you smile! Crazy sense of humor. Will is indeed a lucky man!

[@kendall9683]

i relate so hard to arden!! it’s tough to be so happy in your relationship but also grieving the queer relationships you could have had if you hadn’t met your partner so early, not wanting to leave the relationship but also feeling gay fomo lol. and it’s definitely a guilty feeling idk how to talk to my partner about it

[@loubunny1]

this is one of my fav podcast episodes i’ve watched in a long time! I loved the convo, really interesting stuff that got my wheels turning and love yalls personalities together! you should do another episode, love you both :-)

[@TheMatrix-rj8rx]

This makes me feel so much less alone, I am in a great relationship with a man, but have always had this dream of being in a relationship with another woman, too! I would have loved to have that experience of being with someone who has been socialized so similarly to me, rather than with someone of the opposite sex, but I don’t want to give up my amazing boyfriend. It has definitely been a strange process navigating those feelings, especially without feeling like I am not appreciative of what I have, and knowing I would probably feel the same way if I was with a woman. I have many female friends who are in the same position as me, but so far none of us have found a solution other than accepting that those feelings are there and valid. But it is definitely be a challenge.

[@pigg90]

This was an amazing episode! Y'all were just riffing off each other and everything y'all spoke about was so important ❤️

[@isabelk17]

Thank you so much for the bi representation on your podcast Shannon! This was such a relatable episode ❤️

[@rileyjin707]

great ep, Arden is awesome!

[@beywatch10]

i love that i loved arden's jeans but i've been following forever so i know the exact story of those jeans cause i watched her video... i love this internet intersection.

[@megsmatagges378]

WOW I needed to hear this as a bi woman I have felt guilty for grieving not having a queer relationship(s) before meeting my male soulmate. Arden thank u bestie

[@paigecollette4427]

I just read this book "Bi: The Hidden Culture, History and Science of Bisexuality". It was really good but pretty textbook-y. I still recommend it! She explained that Bi doesn't necessarily mean to like men and women, which seems to be the common belief. It means having both homosexual and heterosexual tendencies or desires. She further explained that the greek root homo means "same" and hetero means "different" or "other". Originally Bisexual meant to like people who are the same as you and people who are different from you. We seem to have sinced attach the term bi to women and men (binary) but she explained the original term Bi can include being attracted to non-binary, trans, queer, etc.

[@ilseizi]

Loved this ep and love Arden! Have her back for another ep :)

[@chrisklemens]

I wanna come to the patreon show!!!!

[@nowthisisliving]

OMG PLEASE COME

[@marinadellanina9162]

love arden! she's funny!! Shann, bring us chappel roan someday!! :) kisses from Brazil!!

[@sbleu2114]

I feel SO seen listening to this conversation! Thank you ♥️

[@julzamidala2865]

such an awesome convo! Thank you both! 🥰🙏🙏

[@rachaelrogers-stewart8158]

I really enjoyed this video ! I agree that alot of the topics are not something discussed often. I understand Arden so much in so many regards. I came out in highschool but was very shy, so I was around gay people but did not have any real experiences. I outwardly identified as Lesbian in College but was still pretty shy and avoided men until I found a guy I liked, friend turned boyfriend. After that, I dated mostly men but considered myself pansexual. Fast forward to now, when I am married to a woman. She is originally Italian and we have moved back and forth from Canada to Italy. So I have experienced being pushed to be considered straight, or a lesbian depending on the relationship I am in because my relationships were always long-term. I feel everyone has to grieve something about a life they could have had when they are getting married which is what creates some anxiety regardless of how in love and perfect your partner is. Living in a separate country from your own definitely creates a similar feeling as well when you wonder how much more involved in your community you could be if you were in the opposite situation of what you are in.

[@savannah4078]

Im just now catching up to this episode but Arden saying the thing about grief resonated with me deeply. I’ve been beating myself up for how upset I get for never being with a girl because I LOVE my man & want him for the rest of my life. But, not knowing I was bi until after I found him, sucks. Then I open the comments to find all these other bi women that resonated with that same thing. It’s so reassuring & validating.

[@lizzzlouise]

Relating SO heavily to Arden and also seeing other peeps in the comments of the niche of married bi/pan gals it’s making me cry lowkey to be so understood I GET IT so hard😭😅

[@3051107]

Best episode. As a pansexual who is married to a man this was everything!

[@nowthisisliving]

yay!!! I'm so happy you liked it!!

[@walquirianovais1045]

This one was a great guest ❤

[@3Oh3metrostation]

Feeling uncomfortable with looking at other girls in the locker should have been telling. Maybe I told myself I was just being modest or shy but subconsciously my body knew I was scared. scared that people would accuse me of looking at them if I came out. I didn't come out to myself until I was 25 but a part of me knew. Crazy to think about.

[@skyylovespace]

@@3Oh3metrostation *me?! i was lookinggg* 🤣

[@3Oh3metrostation]

@@skyylovespace LOLLL

[@dietblond]

the AI book is In the Clouds by Arvida Byström!

[@eribs4853]

So good to see Arden on the podcast, she's amazing 💜

[@Jordan-jag06]

Will sounds like a terrific man 🥺 I wish there were more like him out there!!!

[@lkelley5708]

Excellent episode as usual! ❤

[@alyssalawson2214]

I’ve never related so deeply to something. Thank you for this conversation 🤍

[@carlpaladino427]

It’s called PMS, Pre Monday, Syndrome.

[@Jowhaletail]

As a 5 on the Kinsey scale woman married to a man, thank you for this. 💜

[@vanesapinzon]

Manifesting a lovely lady like Arden in my life. What a beautiful human 🤍

[@OrlaKen]

They have great chemistry 🧪😉

[@spookywitchxx]

Open up your relationship! 🎉

[@skyylovespace]

*love and light to everyone reading this* 💗

[@Emily-hf9ud]

As a bi woman in a heteronormative marriage in Arkansas, whose never had any queer experiences, I felt so seen and validated by this episode. Thank you for this, and having Arden as a guest! This helps me feel less alone. ♥

[@meghana3815]

Amazing conversation.

[@hmmcms1]

Wasn’t familiar with Arden, love her!

[@bumper-t3c]

I mean, Mischa Barton is perfect. PERFECT.

[@bumper-t3c]

Sidenote, I was reading so much ugly bi hate on a certain lesbian board yesterday, really appreciate the positivity here

[@madisonhetterly]

Please do a live show in New York!!!

[@Amy-lo5pl]

Yay I’m soo happy I’ll get to see it here in Michigan cuz I’m a $ Patreon 😊& soo happy & proud to be💯💯💯💯❣️also Shannon could you do a photo merch again sometime 🙏🙏I missed out on the sweatshirts. They were so cool.💯💯😊❣️

[@punkrockposer4133]

i feel like theres a misconception that bi is binary when from very early on bisexuality has included every gender. just something ive seen around. interested

[@iloveoatmeal2]

sarah schuster is from the l word it’s jenny’s literary alias lmao

[@lilianareyes5223]

hi! does anyone know the name of the book Arden was referencing about a woman selling AI nudes? it sounds so interesting and I can't seem to find the title! p.s. it was so lovely seeing two faces that I've been watching since I was fourteen together! Arden gave me words I didn't have related to this experience of being pan and grieving for alternate life choices. love love love this episode!

[@cityislandzoe]

get sue bird of the pod for all the sporty girlies!! (or paige bueckers ?👀)

[@cityislandzoe]

or even Kate Martin!!

[@dv527]

Any of these 3 would be crazy cool

[@ivonapetrovic2084]

Such sweet episode.❤

[@tracyhill6166]

Thank you for this subject matter. I'm a 53-year-old bisexual woman who has just left a 14-year hetero marriage because I am no longer willing to not be with a woman. I have grieved the loss of a queer relationship as long as I was with him and I can relate to everything that Arden said. I feel like an imposter on both sides of the straight and queer fence, because I'm definitely not straight but I don't feel like I qualify enough to claim that I'm a lesbian even though in my heart I am more gay than straight. I'm really happy for all of you that have come of age at a time where we have the internet because my life would be totally different had their not been so much heteronormativity in it, and growing up in the 80s definitely was a different mindset regarding bisexuality. At 16 I told my mother and she was very upset and told me it would just be a phase. I never mentioned it again due to the reaction I got from my family. I kept all my gay relationships secret. Being married to men also solidifies the illusion that a bisexual woman is straight. Now I'm grappling with having to come out, and I feel ridiculous that it has taken me so long but on the other hand, like Arden said, when you're in a hetero, monogamous relationship there's no reason to wear your sexuality on your sleeve. Also, there is a perceived aura of sluttiness about you if you let people know you're bi. I still feel like a fraud, and that lesbians aren't going to welcome me because of my past history. I'm a big fat redd letter capital "F" lesbian, the opposite of a gold star lesbian. I feel like I don't fit in with either group, and I'm also afraid at my age that no one will ever want me. 😢 I feel like having had long-term heterosexual marriages makes me damaged goods in the queer community. Obviously I need to work on this and your podcast helps open up in her dialogue that with introspection and honesty, I can get to a healthier mental place about giving myself acceptance and grace. Thank you for having this point of view on the show. ❤

[@Scarly373]

45:43 these feelings of grief she's describing are how i felt when i first realized i was bi. I was married, in an "eternal" relationship, etc. 5 yrs later I realize I'm lesbian. Now divorced! I've never had that yearning for a man, and don't think I ever will.

[@violetgoesshopping]

aw Arden seems so nervous! it's nice to see her expressing her queer side

[@hayleyjade783]

i love spikeball and arden rose, got me locked in

[@madaleeX]

You should have Jenna from the old KZbin channel “lesbian answers” on the podcast!!

[@andrearamos4579]

Great episode!!!

[@mommyissuesmusic]

You don’t have to be any good at the things you love to do - just have fun!

[@me9818]

This was new for me, i loved it

[@yd3334]

I need to know the name of that only fans experiment book!!

[@mommyissuesmusic]

I love having music on, but I can’t have anything with lyrics if I’m reading or writing. I’ll be typing an email, and then I just start typing the lyrics.

[@cowboyjicjac]

Shannonnnn is Becca going to take you to that dodgers game? The way you even said it during the add in an almost undectacble tone LMAO Maam Pls

[@ITZAKY-o6x]

love you shan

[@luckyanya9354]

I literally didn't know Arden is a fellow bi lady. How did I even miss that? I've been a fan for years and I watch her streams.

[@donnalee7440]

PLEASE HAVE BEKKY ON THIS PODCAST!!!!! Im begging!

[@lezzyrae13]

Spikeball is SO fun

[@eliarae6970]

Shannon 🥺 I tried appealing to hinge, they said I did something wrong and I didn't do anything wrong. it was decided by an automatic detection tool. and they deleted my account, and denied my ban appeal and now I can't make a new hinge account cause they think I did something wrong. I know you probably won't read this but if you do can you talk to them? I've tried everything and they banned me and I don't know what else to do! all the people I met on there are never gonna hear from me again. it's messed up 😭

[@Kenzieco44]

I’ve been married to a man and a woman and I’m bi. When I was married to a man everyone saw me as straight and now I’m married to a woman and I’m seen as a lesbian…. It’s a constant fight so I just call myself queer

[@Nikitarjl]

loved this! shes cool

[@RachelMiazza]

shannon you should have Courtney Miller on!!!!

[@tiredtiredsoup]

YES!!!!!

[@cierraweaver7955]

I'd be very interested to hear each of your thoughts when it comes to polyamory. Why can't you get the romance with a woman too, while maintaining the love with your husband? Non monogamy is maybe always an option to look into 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@hawkeye_zr1carver.207]

No Digestive System sad.

[@diniasepulveda4928]

Hey Shannon, there a sonic around Monrovia

[@things_denisa_does]

as a bi girlie I loved this episode so much. does anyone know the name of the book they talked about?

[@TheFonzieCommunity]

i think overall adult sexual media is bad for both sexes that makes some of them incels (i dislike that word), but i get the povs. overall great podcast!!! i love both of y'alls content!! glad you had her on!!!

[@rebelaney]

You talked about a sober lesbian named Sarah Schauer(?). Can you please link her IG? Thanks!

[@wdwprepschool]

@sarahschauer

[@rebelaney]

@@wdwprepschool Thank you! For some reason she didn't come up when I put a space between her first/last name.

[@speakingintothevoid8319]

Ugh yes… I understand the feeling of grieving my sexuality. Just like Arden, I will always have the longing for getting asked out by a woman, going on vacations, wooing and getting wooed by a woman like being in love with a woman or being VISIBLY QUEER…WOW. 💔😔🌷🌷🌷🌷but I am absolutely IN LOVE with my husband and could never let him go. He’s my person. Like the person in the sky needs to chill out with me 😅

[@Amy-lo5pl]

Omg TikTok shop is very scary because you can spend a lot and I do💯❣️

[@bumper-t3c]

Shannon, I am saying this with absolute love, but I have noticed this several times . When you talk about sex. in a weird way, you kind of idealize het sex and put down lesbian/w2w sex. I mean you are very sex positive but you often say things like, "We can't feel things at the same time," or "We can't come at the same time," as though those are shortcomings in w2w sex and things that het couples enjoy automatically. That's just not true. I promise you in mixed-part sex, coming at the same time is not a given or even a goal. It's a dumb thing left over from movies and romance novels. Lots of people with vaginas don't come from penetration, there are lots of other things that people do to different parts with their different parts that give vagina-havers more pleasure. Some people come at the same time, some don't--it doesn't make their sex life any less valid or great. "Feeling the same thing at the same time" is also...not a thing? if you are talking about penetration, the person with a dick is not feeling the same thing as the person with a vagina? And if that is feeling the same thing, then someone going down on someone, they would also be feeling the same thing at the same time? I want to free you from this internalized comparison! Two-vagina-havers sex is very different from mixed-parts sex in a lot of ways, but seriously not that much in this way.

[@3Oh3metrostation]

I can see that. Statistically most women aren't able to orgasm from just penetration. Might be one of those things where you just want what you don't have. I've been with a woman and wished we had certain male-like appendage during intimacy. Like a strap-on that we could feel sensation with but then take off after. Maybe we just want every form of feeling close to the other person. But at the end of the day, sex is as good as we let it be and straight sex is statistically less mutually pleasurable.

[@bumper-t3c]

@@skyylovespace ok! I also understand what she means, which is why I am happy to give her some information to counter misinformation that she's been fed,

[@skyylovespace]

@@bumper-t3c 💗

[@skyylovespace]

@@bumper-t3c 💗

[@Dani.P.F.]

I think Paige Layle could be an interesting guest.

[@ITZAKY-o6x]

The hat your gf bought for you looks great on you

[@Jesusa-b7i]

Shannon and becca pobcast please 🙏🌈💖

[@michellemarcus7651]

Before you give men too much credit, their center of gravity is lower, in their abdomen which helps. Women's center of gravity is more in their chest. Learned that in science class. Lol

[@anniemartinez7127]

I used to love Arden omg

[@user-lh8im2vy8e]

You should join us over on Twitch then! She streams like three times a week and it's my favorite thing to have on while I'm doing chores or WFH (she's currently starting over her ACNH island, but she's done a bunch of Stardew, Nancy Drew games, and other misc stuff too)

[@ShaeKababy]

⁠​⁠@@user-lh8im2vy8e aw hell yeah I’ve been scrolling to find a comment from a fellow rattie!

[@ITZAKY-o6x]

take care of yourself bb

[@ashleywinter8190]

you should have jenn mcallister on!!

[@nycjanedoe]

(Is your hat literal or does it reference something I'm unawere of? 'Cause how can you not love Nature when you _ARE_ Nature? Also, one can not want insects or snakes crawling or slithering on them and still be big on Nature.)

[@jessi929]

so curious about the book about the ai of book! if anyone knows....

[@nicetiesvlog]

Had to find it myself - In The Clouds by Arvida Byström

[@LMoolman80]

Don’t know who she is but she gives me baby Tori Amos vibes.

[@moajohansson2460]

Day 1 of asking you to ask billie eilish to join this podcast!???

[@sophiawells2005]

im going to need at least 20 new episodes for my plane ride in a couple weeks 😭 i swear this pod is the only thing i can listen to 🗣️🫶🏼

[@ajajajjakslajdks]

thank you so much for this episode! i feel her so much!! She described my life. thanks for bi representation♥

[@skyylovespace]

*what music were you listening to?*

[@1412souki]

Please have Sarah Schauer oj your Pod! And JenXpenn

[@nowthisisliving]

I want to!!!

[@InternationalStrategyII]

Bi ladies, Please date with both men and women and expore yourself before you settle down and preferably find partner that allows you to be with both.

[@kendall9683]

it’s hard when you fall in love early & the relationship is otherwise happy and healthy

[@InternationalStrategyII]

@@kendall9683 My gfs, my daughters have found these numbers usedful. 6 - 2 - 2 6 months platonic, no kissing, stay as pure friends. During that time, meet parents, brothers, sisters, find out exes, meet friends, coworkers they have. If they are monogamous or polygamous. Their STI and herpes both status. Go to a community lab together. and get checked. 2 months dating, find out if they are investing, any debts, borrowed money from people. Find out if they have children from exes. How they feel about their exes. Warn them that they will only date 2 more months if they are marrying you in 2 months. If they said No, go find one who is serious. If they say Yes, date 2 more months. If they don't propose you within the 2 months, Please leave and go find one who is ready to settle down. Otherwise, your are a free escort to them. Keep going until you find yourself. Try all kinds of people. Always safe protected sex. You don't want STIs

[@twildabuckingham]

What's bi-rāsher?

[@HB-hs1nr]

bi-erasure?

[@ITZAKY-o6x]

❤

[@Phule77]

The problem with this sex pest war narrative is that these men were usually poor / low class, while high class could be as abusive as they like because of money / power. Be careful what narratives you buy into.