I Never Thought of It That Way: A Conversation with Mónica Guzmán

[@jozz2248]

Good stuff. It does seem to be getting more difficult to engage with people from across divides. Hard to even want to engage when it feels like theirs no chance to change anyone's mind and one side treats everything as a battlefield. Have some very smart family members but have Newsmax or AM radio affixed to their opinions. Religion brought them there and apparently has become entwined... I will still speak my mind, but it really does make me want to disengage, when up against such an ideological wall of propagadistic nonsense built up.

[@I-talk-about-tough-topics]

Unfortunately, I missed the live version but fortunately, I can catch up. Re what you wrote, it may help to silence your mind and just listen instead of feeling that you need to change people's minds and that you will never succeed. Everyone's opinions are equally valid as yours. What differs is how they came about. I find it easy to write about this here but I'm not good at it. Apparently, it helps if you first make people feel validated and appreciated. It relaxes them and that makes them more willing to listen. There's some neuroscience involved in this too. If you present truths that clash firmly with other people's beliefs, then they may experience you as a threat for that reason. I've just spent nearly two decades in what often felt like a war zone, in another country. I've previously lived in the US and I clicked much better with American culture. Now I am back in my birth country.(Netherlands) Oh, shock. Not only don't I know anyone here anymore, they've now all of a sudden given most of the votes in the recent election to a far right politician, which really clashes with the spirit of the country. So I am finding myself wondering if I can play a role in this, to keep people from becoming too anti-migrant for example. Not easy. When I returned from the States, a neighbor really confused me when he started talking about a Moroccan king or prince. I wondered if I had missed some news items. It took me a while to realize that it was a sneer about migrants from Morocco. When they later made some kind of reference to it again, something to do with wearing a lot of clothing in warm weather, I said something mild that made clear that I didn't see the problem, that I didn't share their opinion. They didn't mention such things anymore after that. But... I don't know how it came about. They were probably just frightened and insecure. A lot of people don't like anything that is a little different from what they are used to. They cling to some things for support. There are also people who hold certain opinions just because it makes them feel unique and gives them a sense of belonging. They're now part of the group of people who hold that particular belief. I'm not sure that it's necessary to change other people's mindset. But it's interesting to find out why they are thinking what they are thinking. That's sometimes something that can be changed far more easily (albeit not always by us as a lone individual, but by others who we can talk with).