I Resent My Immature Partner (What Should I Do?)

[@safepop]

Lord please protect and keep me vigilant against bums 🙏

[@tayphiri519]

Amen 👏

[@LaFemme101]

*Shirley Caesar shout*

[@b.r.7079]

You mean that the Lord keep you away from MOOCHERS!😄

[@stuemler]

"Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed." -Albert Einstein

[@nt3833]

Wow that is so true! In her situation, the sad part is they’re not even married, and she’s still putting up with this crap.

[@youart9797]

Thank you for posting this. I know a lot of his quotes, but have never heard this one.

[@SaystheTruth3]

So correct!

[@madelync7414]

This is most definitely not an Albert Einstein quote. I’ve seen a number of quotes misattributed to him.

[@ST-rj8iu]

The first thing my father told me about marriage is "what you see is what you get, and a leopard doesn't change it spots." Women tend to struggle with this the most. My Dad knew me as a woman before I did....LOL.

[@jennwilliams7415]

I’m sure the car is titled to him. You’re not even married. Call and cancel your insurance, remove the plates and hand the plates into your local DMV. It’s not that hard. When he gets the license he can re-register it and insure it in his name.

[@juliemoore6957]

Yes!

[@lala5061]

Period 👏🏽

[@kekejefferson9219]

This is an example of how to truly make yourself sick.

[@kathylovesmk]

I was married to this type of guy. The only way he changed was by me ending our marriage. The most maddening part is that he did grow up once we were divorced. Don't stay another day, he will never change while you're there. Best line a therapist ever told me "we aren't sad about losing the real person we're married to, you're sad about losing the fantasy we have in our mind."

[@mike7933]

Unfortunately that happens all too much, men need an incentive to change. He probably hit his “rock bottom” and changed.

[@sofiarangel1315]

That relationship is pretty much done because by the time a woman is done, there’s no getting her back. There’s too much resentment and anger. Besides, even if he promises the world he will probably be on his best behavior for a short while just to get you back and then revert back to his old behavior and then you’re stuck again. It’s better to just move on and be with yourself for a while before dating again.

[@helena3631]

They change once you leave mine has our daughter every week when we were together he was hanging out with his buddies or sleeping now he has to by court order .. I have more rest since I am a single parent .. who would’ve known 🥴🥴🥴

[@mamajen4jesus]

That quote is so true.🤔

[@bmcdonald7303]

True quote. It helped me heal from my divorce.

[@katiewaves]

I had a son with a very immature partner and we are no longer together lol. Everyone makes mistakes but it’s insane to keep doing the same thing over and over. If you stay in this relationship, you will send yourself to an early grave. You need to leave for your son!

[@FaivenFeshazion]

Every time I have a failed date/see signs of immaturity and leave, I get sad that I’m still single. But the alternative is the life she’s living! 😮‍💨

[@brightpage1020]

Thank Goodness for somebody who has been there, done that. You hit the head with a nail: doing the same things over and over again expecting different results is literally the definition of insanity. Thank you, Voice of Experience, Voice of Wisdom.

[@brightpage1020]

PS I’m so sorry you had to go through that but look at all you’ve learned from it and look at how far you’ve come from that instability. Good on you - great on you - for showing this caller what is possible on the other side of ripping off this band aid. And for doing the work and making it work for you and your kid in healthier ways. May God bless and keep you both in good health, the grace of strength, wisdom, and compassion. Thank you for chiming in!

[@katiewaves]

@@brightpage1020 thank you SO much!

[@brightpage1020]

@@katiewaves your strength is encouraging to many more besides this caller, I'm sure. Stay strong and keep up the great work, SuperMamma!

[@cramperella]

He’s sending a clear message. He wants out. He’s never been in. Poor child. At least his momma loves him. Get out and preserve your dignity.

[@StrawberryFieldsNIR]

Yes - he has never been in.

[@riblets1968]

That sounds like my own parents: mom was mature; dad was not. It's a recipe for familial disaster.

[@coolwater55]

Then when the real "s" hits the fan is when the ultimatums come. Then the children (mostly grown) side with Dad when he says Mom was so controlling. Well, I was raised where one did not divorce, and my parents divorced and caused tons of challenges for the children. I never wanted to be divorced, so that kept me in an unhealthy marriage. But those around me were all catering to their husbands in the 70's. The real liberations was really just the cusp. So all the siblings and his Mom, the community predominantly the men ruled, did what they wanted and the women were the housekeepers and child rearers.

[@coolwater55]

But the gaslighting is unbelievable if I (and only a handful of women in the whole community) were on teh fringe of not putting up with a man child. The area was coal mining, dangerous of course, men worked hard, hunted, fished, sports as was their "right". Women stayed home, cooked, cleaned, cared for children, even if they had a job outside the home. The women were responsible for everything. So stepping outside that mold, got me in tons of trouble for years.

[@AlaskanLady]

I’m one month out of a similar situation (minus the child,add an alcohol addiction) He’s right. Everything he’s saying. Leave. Just leave. If he’s worth anything you leaving will shock him into maturity. Or…he wont, and you just dodged the mother of all bullets! ❤

[@civbabez22]

It's hard to even feel bad cus she enables him in every single way. He has his issues yes, but she has serious boundary and self-worth issues as well. Because why even allow yourself to deal with this? They both need help

[@nt3833]

I don’t think they need help. They both need to live in reality. He needs a swift kick to the curb - he’ll either sink or swim.

[@justonetime6179]

I feel bad because she has boundary issues. They definitely both need help.

[@phelps1485]

Yep, who has a kid with a 30yr old who doesn't have a license. Why is that not a huge red flag!

[@girlygirl1890]

@@phelps1485 Yes, Well, the son will probably get his liscense before dad does. (lol).

[@evelyn1044]

This is why you shouldn’t be easily impressed by a man… no driver’s license? Smh.

[@mikeshaw4610]

You have to stop him from driving whatever it takes. If he is in an accident and hurts someone you could be financially devastated. Even if your not married it’s your insurance so they will come after you also. Let him call you anything he wants. The risk is too high.

[@ShelleyJane]

I needed someone like John 17 years ago. Real talk. So necessary.

[@LadyLime100]

Sounds like she was desperate to have a child and just picked the first guy that gave her attention. She also seems to be incomplete denial of who she choose.

[@erismana2105]

Reminds you of your mom

[@TheAshMcG]

@@erismana2105 If that is sarcasm, you suck at it..... Get another hobby, one you can excel in.

[@coconutwater4531]

I know a few women like this. The reality is, being single and childless is the best option for many women. If you’re desperate to be a mother at all costs, a sperm bank is a better option than being a bang mommy to a man who will throw tantrums, drag you down financially and not contribute to childcare.

[@hopeful8975]

I know exactly what you are talking about. It doesn't change...that's what she needs to understand...she will always be considered the bad guy. I know...40 years later this is still the biggest issue I have in my marriage. Too late for me but please please know this doesn't go away...no matter how mad you get, how much you yell, how much you resent him. It's a very painful existence. Both my husband and I came from trauma...we both brought problems to the marriage. I'm not blaming but boy has it been a painful ride. I did not have a stable family to support me or I would have left...many times. You do... I filled journals with how unhappy I was, I blamed myself over and over. I wrote in my journal...RUN FOR YOUR LIFE... Five years later I wrote the same thing in another journal forgetting that I had written it before. That was many many years ago... Best wishes sweetie❤

[@rachelmaddowswife8713]

Wow, this entire thing is a nightmare. Obviously she needs to leave, but why do so many women procreate with these men in the first place? Seriously, I don't get it, this man is a ball and chain dragging her to the bottom of the ocean.

[@michaelh2282]

Unless the woman is young herself (maybe under 25), a woman who is damaged will be attracted to a man who is just as damaged as she is

[@FrankS111]

You picked him knowing all this. Then you HAD A BABY WITH HIM?! This is on you…period.

[@donnaleesalerno]

She sounds extremely immature and deflective.

[@SeanGunz]

Talks crap on him like she didn't choose him as he was

[@VanJR.]

He’s also a parent but he ain’t doing ish. So, the weight isn’t just on her.

[@FrankS111]

@@VanJR. she chose him and have a child with him. Yeah her misery was her decision.

[@erismana2105]

@@FrankS111 dead beats defend dead beats..

[@nickbailey7429]

John saying there is nothing wrong with her isn’t helpful. I’m sure he doesn’t want to sound negative when she already has a lot of difficulties, but this woman has a terrible picker. She picked a bum. If she doesn’t own it and learn, she’ll repeat this bad behavior.

[@IndecisionTelevision]

this isnt immature this is abusive

[@rocknrollresignation93]

Why was the most obvious question not asked? Why is he in his 30's without a drivers license?

[@beth-bi9yv]

I feel for her, we're asking her why she tolerates this, but society has told us time after time, in media, in jokes, that men are allowed to be perpetually children but you're the nag when you expect them to adult.

[@paulababula9621]

If they've been dating for five years (or a little bit over plus a couple of month), and they have a four-year-old child, means she got pregnant within the first couple of months of meeting him. How are you going to get pregnant with a man you barely know

[@l-train7876]

It happens all the time.

[@ecclairmayo4153]

I will never understand it

[@l-train7876]

@@BentleyPawsEtsy have you ever been in a relationship??

[@furryplantsandcoins9070]

Who drove her to the hospital? No flipping way I would drive during labor! No freaking way! He needs to help you by getting his license!

[@linza622]

Stop giving boyfriends wife privileges! He has not made a life commitment to you yet you have given your everything for him. Stop it ladies! Boundaries!

[@katiemadden9413]

Oh honey🙌👏 this is the truth. I wish I could time travel back 10 years-just to slap myself across the face with this advice.

[@girlygirl1890]

@@katiemadden9413 Don't be too hard on yourself. At least you know now.

[@browneyedgirl1542]

Speaking from personal experience, guys like that will NEVER change.

[@sherriflemming3218]

Indeed

[@jennyhammond9261]

Sounds like my exboyfriend...which is why I dumped him as soon as I started seeing this sort of behavior

[@sherriflemming3218]

We know this guy.

[@ja7124]

So many comments that she should have left. Ppl stay because they want to work it out until they realize it won’t. Stop being so judgmental, it’s a progress and when kids are involved things are more difficult. She’ll work through it as resentment has already begun in the relationship.

[@jeannet7443]

They're not married. She can leave.

[@ja7124]

@@jeannet7443 Yes. She can when she’s ready!

[@SaystheTruth3]

She is enabling this man baby. Gross.

[@leemp337]

Coaches jujitsu. Already know why she fell for him. he was a fun, cool dude. She still thinks like a high school girl and fell for a guy stuck as a high school boy. She is probably hot too. She wasted her best years as a women and ruined her chances with a lot of high quality men who won't date her due to kid and ex bf baggage.

[@l-train7876]

She doesn’t sounds hot.

[@benjaminbeard661]

"We only fight like every six months" that's the problem. I 'bicker' with my wife constantly. All the time. But we never have big fights because we deal with every annoyance in the moment.

[@lazyakers]

3:09 she uses the word partner. They’re not married; at least not in his eyes.

[@DBS472]

$150/week for daycare?! Most shocking part of this call. 2x that where I live for cheap end care

[@Boosted_aj]

That’s cheap in my area

[@emilyearl1858]

He sounds like he needs special care

[@totalchaos444]

I live in NYC and didn't drive until 30 YO because of the MTA system. I will assume Texans require more driving.

[@juicysmith38235]

Yes, correct! Especially if you don't live in the inner city, the outskirts/suburbs don't have public transportation. I refuse to use any form of public transportation here b/c of the decriminalization of crimes , etc

[@VanJR.]

Big time. A driver’s license is essential in Texas

[@lucindabreeding]

Texas is oil and gas country. Everything here is car centered.

[@MichaelJones-rn2pq]

Don't shack up with a "fixer upper", marry a finished product that meets your specifications. That's not hard to do. As for not getting a driver's license, I think this guy is a fugitive or in some sort of legal trouble.

[@Shay-yg7nm]

Why would you have a kid with a 30yr old with no license. This woman is his mother, not his partner

[@meglukes]

I was dating a man child. He had a license but didn’t have a job. I broke up with him when he suggested moving in despite still not having a job. Hopefully it was a wake up call.

[@michaelh2282]

"He hits you doesn't he?" "No he doesn't." "Yes he has, hasn't he?" "He has never come close to hitting me." Long pause... "So why does he hit you?" "He just yells at me " "So he's basically hitting you.... (something to that effect)" Granted, I totally agree this woman should leave this bum, but my goodness Delony is such a gaslighting therapist in these relationship disputes.

[@flashthecorgi2053]

Number one it didn’t go that way at all but number two he didn’t even bring up abuse until she said “that’s really scary to me” when John said the same way he always responds expect it to be 10 x when you tell him. It just implied that she was scared because he may have done something to her so I don’t think Delony was gaslighting her he was making sure she was physically safe.

[@jaysmith6013]

As a normal hardworking guy who is husband and very involved father in my kids lives, I absolutely cannot understand how these losers can exist and get women on top of that,

[@Junichild]

Women are not a prize men get for good behavior. Women are human beings who make mistakes, have feelings and hopes. They are not trophies.

[@jaysmith6013]

@@Junichild What I meant was losers can still find relationships, but I think you know what I meant, you just choose to be an asshole

[@bobbylacy2374]

Houston, Texas? Maybe he is undocumented and doesn't have the proper documentation to get a driver's license? Has she asked?

[@mybdayis420]

Why does she like this guy again?

[@richlucero3536]

Hard stop at no drivers license at 30.

[@robinragan1702]

Nothing changes if nothing changes.. Dude has no 😢reason to change because he has/had it pretty comfy. Would LOVE updates on these calls.

[@JourneyDestination]

This guy says exactly what he believes women want to hear.

[@chikac1822]

I embraced the poor man who had been ruled by guilt by his mother. I gave him all the skills a human being needs to live in the modern world. Cooking, cleaning, discipline, strict adherence to rules, washing hands, bathing, driving, talking to people. All of it. I wanted to teach him how to deal with his emotions and I wanted to turn him into an adult man who could have children before his frontal lobes had fully matured. He is grateful and knows I am doing the right thing for him, but he wants a lukewarm nightmare. It's a waste of time, 7 years. But to no avail. To all the women of the world, please do not wipe up the mess that egotistical women have made of failed boys. Do not step into their problems. Before I met him, my life was free of any problems and full of hope for the future. It is too late for me. The only saving grace is that I have no children.

[@SamanthaURen]

If you’re thought is “I can’t leave him because I will hurt him”, it’s time to leave him. That isn’t love.

[@joygernautm6641]

I have a severely autistic, nonverbal son. He didn’t say the words “I love you, mom” or even call me “mom” until he was in his teens. Yes. It is a hard life and the fact that her husband is just escaping into jujitsu(are used to practice Brazilian jujitsu, so I get it, and it is an escape), is not surprising, but he hast to understand that it’s not fair to expect her to hold down everything while he has his “breakdown”

[@donnasearch1]

Make her go back and listen to herself over and over.

[@SLangel18]

She just doesn’t like the fact that he will never admit she is right, why would he? It’s so easy to make her feel bad about what she asking.

[@danilaroche1156]

I feel for this woman. She needs a strong relationship with the Lord. This man is not her spouse. Difficult as it is, she must separate. Staying with him will harm her and her son.

[@RandomHippieCreations]

Bet she has heard I’m too qualified for a McDonald’s job 😞

[@anunez3450]

Don't renew the tags on that car. Remove the insurance. So what if he gets mad if he wants to use it then he will make it work if not he can take the damn bus.

[@JustActNormal]

Run away as fast as possible and get your son the therapy he needs to be successful Your husband is not ok

[@melissalee333]

You have to get that car away from him or immediately get your name off of it. People can own cars without being the driver. He can still get insurance on it with someone else being the driver.

[@truthseeker6370]

Maybe he has a legal issue that prevents him from getting a driver's license that he's not shared? He's not taken care of his family- which he refused to commit to.

[@jeromehenry4484]

Exactly where my mind went, there is an undisclosed legal issue. This situation has all the signs that BF is an undocumented worker from another country, and probably already has a wife/children/family that he is financially supporting via remittances. This is common in Houston, Texas. Caller doesn't realize she is just a side piece in her BF's eyes, not his #1 priority/responsibility.

[@truthseeker6370]

​@@jeromehenry4484 or his license was taken away and he can't get it back without doing the required work- which he's not disclosed. She should do a background check on him ASAP.

[@jeromehenry4484]

@@truthseeker6370 100% agree on background checks. If you are still interested in a prospect after 3 dates, then it's time to get a background check so you won't waste your time/energy/finances. Caller moved too fast, she met him in 2018 and had the baby in 2019; what's wrong with this picture?

[@warrensloan3467]

There’s no “trick” to getting someone to change.

[@amyp66]

They didn't know each other. Met in 2018 had a child 2019. She expects him to be the person she wanted not the person he is.

[@galaxythree4653]

Sweet lady your seemingly imature partner is hiding something from his past. He does not want to be found. He is using you to hide. You were an opportunity. Wise up.

[@zacknelson8918]

Whats wrong with a night job?!? They tend to pay more than daytime jobs.....

[@lauren4078]

He doesn't help parent their autistic kid. He probably sleeps all day.

[@ga6589]

I understood her to say that this was in addition to a day job, so the guy was never home. Caring for a special needs child requires a team effort.

[@ga6589]

@@taghazoutmoon5031 If the night work is his only job, yes.

[@VanJR.]

She didn’t say anything about a night job being wrong

[@freedomspromise8519]

So he is able to drive just won’t get his license. I smell something fishy. Did he have a license at one point and lose it? Allowing him to drive around in a car in your name puts you at high financial risk. He is putting your son at risk. Walk away.

[@StrawberryFieldsNIR]

Caller needs to live in reality. I suspect she had a child with him believing he would grow up once there was a child. Nope. All she got was two children out of it. There is no indication that he will change, so time to accept the reality of the mistake and leave him. If she stays, she will eventually burn out, trying to carry it all. Lighten the load, get rid of the man-child.

[@firststar2]

Sir please don't wasting your time on this caller. She anit leaving..

[@susieq8008]

I can guarantee this woman that her selfish immature man that he DOES. NOT LOVE YOU. CANCEL THE INSURANCE, TAKE YOUR NAME OFF THE CAR REGISTRATION, PACK UP YOUR SON AND GO. HE WILL NOT MISS HIS SON OR YOU.

[@davidsensing2664]

Leave that boy. I HATE these "men" that are really old boys. Find a man that will be a role model for you child. It isn't that he can't drive, he is TOO LAZY to get the license. Take your name off the car and insurance. Sell him the car. Then, when he gets on the road...notify police that he is unlicensed and uninsured. The police can deal with him.

[@cutehumor]

caller is a sugamama

[@l-train7876]

She said he makes twice as much as she does b/c she works part time and is in school.

[@paulo7507]

this is a disaster

[@MichelePernerBlum]

I know a guy in his 60's , never got a drivers license . Lazy, doesn't work. She's a school teacher.

[@MyArtEminence]

Girl your being gaslit and an enabler... Leave get strong and fight

[@akaboo69]

A man needs to be a man. Have a job have a license. You're wife should feel safe with you.

[@kathigratton2286]

She sure has a winner there !! Wow guy doesn’t care about is own child

[@LaniLanilei]

Some are not emotionally mature. I believe men ought to marry at the age of 30, no sooner. IMO

[@JustBree716]

I don't appreciate Dr John telling her to leave the father of her child just because she married a son. Anywho she's the problem imo. She needs therapy so that if she leaves she won't end up getting into a similar situation. She's a mess

[@daviddegea3373]

That's the problem I feel with the Ramsey Network. It's almost always the men that have to take initiative and responsibility. Never goes the other way round.

[@mimimonster]

Totally disagree. Their relationship is not healthy and it’s never going to work.

[@coconutwater4531]

Yes she needs therapy but do you really think the solution is to stay with a baby man?

[@coconutwater4531]

And they’re not even married!

[@ga6589]

She's not married to the loser, which is a good thing. Staying with someone just because he fathered your child, even though he obviously doesn't give a Tinker's damn about you or the child, is not a healthy situation for anyone.

[@foedeer]

Sorry that is so incredibly stupid and irresponsible of her to even be with a grown man who cant drive himself around or afford childcare. She is the one who needs to grow up and get out because the world isnt built for her son and he needs as much help as he can get to live a functional life. SELFISH.

[@Nah-ah]

This is the text book example of a man child, she has 2 kids! 🤦🏽‍♀️ When men say give me a chance, nah! Don’t! Men don’t like change. So change your attitude about this man child of yours, or leave.

[@LaniLanilei]

Growing up is optional for some, apparently.

[@purplelove3666]

Why do people have babies with people they are not married to? Why do people put burden on themselves

[@bitchybrunette6232]

But WHERE is she finding daycare for 150 a month?!?? In 2023??!!!!

[@jeannet7443]

This guy is playing games with her. He's using her. He's not a true partner. Calling her greedy for asking to help with day care? Seriously? He's a passive aggressive, non-physical abuser. They're not married, and he probably doesn't want to be married. This is a poor example for their son as well.

[@greenAbbot]

PLEASE, people, don’t have children with someone if you haven’t worked issues like these out beforehand. And don’t ever have children with someone you have this little respect for.

[@terriesmith2616]

Bingo! 🎯🎯🎯 She did this to herself. She chose him and then chose to create a child with him, knowing who he is.

[@ryanshae]

Facts

[@terriesmith2616]

@Rajan Ramid She didn't just have one child with him, she has two. No more excuses.

[@nt3833]

I’m guessing it wasn’t a planned pregnancy.

[@nikkisigmon8090]

@@nt3833 why would you want that in you though? Sex ties you to people.

[@kekejefferson9219]

He doesn't love you. He loves what you tolerate from him. He loves what you do for him. What about are you mentally safe?

[@leahflower9924]

I wanna bet there's more people together that don't love each other and depend or lean on each other than people together that love each other some people love someone and are never even in a relationship with them

[@aprilchow-chee5281]

​@@leahflower9924 love is not everything that makes a relationship work

[@rustyshackleford6637]

What about it

[@staceystrukel1917]

@@leahflower9924it really has nothing to do with love.

[@randybobandy9828]

Mentally safe 🤣🤣🤣

[@juliemoore6957]

Marie, you are totally codependent! You need a counselor to build up your self confidence and the tools to leave this ridiculous relationship. You deserve sooo much more! Get some therapy!

[@TheUncommonBeauty]

She is being abused. She is being financially and emotionally abused, at minimum. She has verbally expressed her boundaries and they have been continually violated. She is caring for her son without his help. She is a girlfriend and a single parent, not a wife. What more does he need to do before it warrants her leaving to focus her energy and time into creating a healthier life for herself and her son? You cannot raise a grown man.

[@nikkita1688]

Closer to the nanny. 😔

[@sophrosyne5900]

When I was 27 I started dating a guy who was 28. It was insane chemistry to sex the first year. I was in lala land . We never lived together so I didnt know until about a year in ...he was an addict . He was Peter pan . He will never grow up ( even sober ) I did everything . Cleaned his house. Loaned and gave him money. Booked for him, bought his groceries...planned events ...he was emotionally abusive and financially used me . I'll never let myself be with a loser again . Also - he always worked like a dog and made good money... but addiction/selfishness ... huge red flag . She has Gotta leave him asap . Too much wasted time .

[@youart9797]

The sad part is most women will never be satisfied with the man they are with, they'll always try and "fix" him. Tale as old as time. Okay, many men don't want to grow up and never will. That's why there are so many bitter women who are 35years+ looking for "Mr Right"... when all they have to do is realize...time to set your expectations lower and go for "Mr Close Enough" or even "Mr Can Fog a Mirror".

[@angied1178]

Yes!!! I jumped in here to say the same thing and am thankful someone else said it first! He's 100% abusing her and she will be far better off alone than with him... That car thing alone (besides the mountain of the other issue) is enough to leave

[@strnglhld]

@@youart9797 More and more women are happily staying single. People need to be comfortable being alone.

[@farmermarshall]

She chose wrong from the beginning. Like Dr. John said "you're getting the world you allow."

[@pnwsaylorcolumbia8572]

My mom would say, “You picked him.” If she wants a different situation, she needs to leave.

[@hildajensen6263]

@@pnwsaylorcolumbia8572 That's what I've started to say to family and friends. I've spend to many hours in my youth hearing complains and giving advice about a partner, who are simply being who they've always been. This is what it comes down to.

[@TheLegija1]

The god you worship is the god you deserve. (Joseph Campbell)

[@tspain432]

John, you did good on this call. This lady is delusional. She doesn't realize some ppl are Users and Takers literally. She's using her logic to justify his actions.

[@NN-fz4pd]

You mean she’s brainwashed

[@annab.2086]

She's a doormat. I used to be one too. I learned my very expensive lessons the hard way. Better be single if you can't help yourself! Like he said: "You are sacrificing yourself on the altar of him!" And for what??? Your peace and sanity are much more valuable than any loser.

[@cutehumor]

you are a hard woman to find. lol

[@axl1002]

Nah, she is codependent, she needs to have the moral high ground of the victim to function.

[@KrisInLove]

It blows my mind people stay in relationships like this.

[@kensmith2796]

They have a child together. So she can run, but she can't hide. She's linked to this bum for life. It's crazy people will have a child with someone they barely even know and then are surprised when this is the outcome.

[@KrisInLove]

@@kensmith2796 true. Sounds like he doesn't want to be much of a father though so who knows how much she'd have to deal with him if she left. I hope she gets out and has a better life.

[@Jaxmusicgal23]

@@KrisInLove same but 4 kids stay at home, homescool mom married 17yrs with this… But i have it “good” according to him and should be “grateful” for all he does and how much he loves me. I would still have to deal with him after divorce. I know me being here makes him act better a little, how would he be without me after a divorce and no need to even try? Yeah, I understand stuck and my kids feel unwanted by their father and I pray desperately for a good father figure for them and for peace in our house until I can easily leave or God does something else.

[@quinnneal4148]

Simple answer is external factors just make it hard to leave. Sometimes it’s even harder to stay than it is to leave but you are forced to for the well being of other, like your family.

[@ModernSouthernBelle]

This is a huge problem in society. Women are told it’s wrong to have any standards. If you expect a man to be mature, have a career and have himself together then you’re a gold digger who’s asking for way too much. So they adopt a grown man. Then they’re shamed and told they should have “chose better.” Moral of the story; be a “gold digger” or stay single. It’s not wrong to expect a man to be an adult. Way too many women are in her exact situation right now because they felt like they were expecting too much. John was spot on. This man is her son.

[@JustBree716]

The only women I know like this have low self esteem and don't think they can do any better. I don't know how society is telling women that. I mean it sounds like that's her own personal problem I only ever dealt with men who worked and owned their home or had their own apartment. And I teach my daughter to at the least require the basics. That lady is the problem in all honesty because once she leaves him, she's still gonna be the same spineless people pleaser. Lol

[@erismana2105]

Then you have those who follow Tatsoy. Hopefully the passport incels leave the country for good..

[@FrankS111]

Yeah …. that’s the complete opposite of society. Society tells women it’s empowering to have a ridiculous amount of standards and that it’s misogynistic for men to have any standards and to accept all women for “who they are”.

[@matthewahern3394]

I think you're actually seeing an evening out of gender relationship standards (though in the wrong way) in this regard. Previously men were held to a standard of maturity, and professional stability to provide that support to their partner - a primary reason men tend to date women younger then them. Unfortunately as society has gone through needed changes in the past 50 years we've been really bad promoting equal partner relationships and still lean on this primary provider framework. While still comparatively less common to traditional relationships, women now have the potential to find themselves in a provider role. I hope we can make that cultural shift away from this model into an equal partnership one

[@terriesmith2616]

What happened to women who don't need no man to provide for them, they can do it themselves? What happened to these women? What happened to these equality that women demanded? You cannot demand a traditional man while you are not being a traditional woman. You can't have your cake and eat it too.

[@MesheherKim]

Lmao. No drivers license. She has to be his mom but she thought “hey let me have a baby with this man child”. Lmao. Then she blames him for his incompetence, like girl it’s you too 🙄. Glad I got my first heartbreak before I had kids cuz ain’t no way I’m being a mom to a grown man. Women stop it plz. Plz plz plz. Your life will be worse off in every single way….Girl get a new man or stay single. Trust me you’ll be better off on your own. You can’t fix him, you can only fix you. Nt rocket science 😒

[@LDM805]

She likes being mommy, she just won't admit it.

[@ineedhoez]

That part.

[@jeromehenry4484]

Caller will not be getting a new man. She has a severely autistic child, what man wants to sign up for a disabled child that isn't his own genetically? Also, she is only working parttime so that means she cannot be a full partner to new man. Caller needs to face reality that she is a single mom with disabled child and will be 100% responsible for that child for remainder of her life. At least on the surface it appears she allows this drama in her life so she can avoid doing what needs to be done for herself & her child. It's interesting that at first she complains that he does not drive, but later says he bought a car with cash, did not register it or insure it, but now that it is title in HER NAME, he drives all the time. Boyfriend sounds like he is undocumented worker; is it possible he has a family with children back in his home country and he remits his funds to them? Also wonder if she is getting government assistance for low income & single moms, he does not want to cover those costs himself when USA government will do it for him? Since he does work 2 jobs, it doesn't sound like his lazy or a man-child, but she/child are not his 1st priority because he already had a family to support before they met.

[@liabw05]

Same! First heartbreak was with a man-child. Didn’t see clearly until the relationship ended. I dodged a bullet 😅

[@LOUBAT1]

Totally agree. To make a decision to bring a baby into the world with a man-child - and then be surprised that he’s useless??

[@brettemiller8046]

Ladies, this is why it's okay to have standards when dating. A guy with a halfway decent job (or at least goals), a driver's license and car, and doesn't rely on his mommy for everything is base level standards. Guys should also have an equivalent standards but I'm not a guy so idk them. This doesn't make you a bad or picky person!

[@paulaqueirosz]

Yes... relatives, stop pressuring women in the family to get married...

[@Dubbadizzo86]

@@paulaqueirosz If women don't find a partner by the time they're in their mid 30s, they likely never will and will become childless. Because by then her looks have faded dramatically, 90% of her eggs are gone, and pregnancy problems start to become commonplace. A bit of pressure for her to marry and have kids in her 20s is not a bad idea.

[@justonetime6179]

@@Dubbadizzo86 that’s not true. If women are single because they didn’t fall into the pressure to marry, their male counterparts won’t marry themselves so they’d be available.

[@Dubbadizzo86]

@@justonetime6179 When you say "their male counterparts won’t marry themselves so they’d be available." you might be right that they're available, but they aren't going to pick the women their age that are available. They're going to pick younger, prettier, more fertile women. Unlike women, men have more time. Men and women don't value the same things in the opposite sex. Men value fertility, women value provisioning. Men are at their most attractive to women around the age of 35-45, because they're more mature and usually have their life together, and are young enough. Women on the other hand are at their most attractive to men between 22-28, which non-coincidently is their most fertile time. Women who wait too long to marry will find dating harder and harder as they get past 35. Men find it easier and easier. And as a result, men in their late 30s, if they aren't married already, won't settle for a woman their age, but a woman who is younger and more fertile who can bear his children. So if you want to prevent women from missing the very small and important window they have to get married and have children, tell them to get married by the time they're 30, because it becomes slim pickins after that.

[@justonetime6179]

@@Dubbadizzo86 I think you might want to consider which age of women prefer 35-45 year old men… it certainly isn’t 22-28. So again, if women don’t get married until 30, and men won’t marry those women because they want younger, and the younger ones wait until 30… then it becomes a cycle where people no longer marry (except those who ignore these rules).

[@mimimonster]

Man, why didn’t we get the reason why he has no license??!! And he DRIVES ILLEGALLY?? If he gets in an accident she is responsible! And they will sue her into infinity! If he kills someone? She’s responsible. He’s literally the most immature man child I’ve ever heard of. But she is allowing it. Girl, no. Holy crap. No. No. No. He doesn’t want to change, and she doesn’t have to allow it.

[@Boosted_aj]

She doesn’t have to but she is. So it’s her fault. People will be bad it’s up to you to avoid it or stop it in its tracks. I have no sympathy for either dummy here tbh

[@rachelmaddowswife8713]

Yeah, it's wild. At first when she said no license, I thought maybe he has an extreme anxiety disorder and is afraid to drive. He has no problem driving, he just wants to do it in the most irresponsible way possible, financially screwing anyone he gets in an accident with, financially screwing his partner who paid for that car and insurance, risking legal problems. This guy is seriously fucked up, I can't believe Dr. John made it seem like there was a chance to reconcile. It's totally possible this dude will make some symbolic gesture when she starts packing up to move out, but she should leave anyways. I don't believe anything a person like this says.

[@jeromehenry4484]

This guy is an undocumented worker, let that sink in.

[@MsDorcelus]

I hope she has bail money ready because he’s going straight to jail if he gets pulled over.

[@jenniferlloyd9574]

@@rachelmaddowswife8713 And she can stick him for a healthy chunk of child support.

[@Nan-Elle]

I was wondering why a guy that age wouldn't go get a driver's license. Is he covering for the fact that he might fail the test? Does he have some issue such as dyslexia, or something similar where he is afraid that he can't pass the test? Just a thought. On a worse note, is he just acting like "Yeah, yeah, I'll get a license one of these days"; but there is a LEGAL reason why his license has been revoked, that he's hiding from her?

[@blas8866]

I don’t understand how grown adults have kids with someone they barely know and wonder why they have so many problems and are on their way to becoming single moms and dads.

[@ecclairmayo4153]

I will never understand it

[@TonyCox1351]

I understand it: unplanned pregnancy, anti-abortion

[@elainebmack]

Then people tell them how "brave" they are. People will not admit it, but single parenthood is a curse, especially for women. It plunges most women into instant poverty and overwork which stresses them into an unhealthy state.

[@terriesmith2616]

@@elainebmack True. That's why I hate it when the entire Ramsey team, especially Dr. Baloney here, simps for single mothers..."you're so BRAVE.." Stroking women's ego, praising their bad decisions to be a single mother. The only exception is if she's a widow. The Ramsey team needs to stop praising single motherhood.

[@tonytoni1150]

@@terriesmith2616his name is Dr Baloney (balogna) for a reason.

[@ga6589]

This young woman needs to grow a spine. This man-child will not change and she's been enabling him to remain one. First order of business would be to take the keys from the car he's driving illegally, cancel the insurance and sell it. Then pack up and get out. Take the help of family that's offered. She can count her lucky stars she didn't marry the jerk.

[@araineacutebrownnurse7315]

You get the partner you choose not the partner you hope for them to be .

[@cg741graf5]

She knowingly lets him drive her vehicle with no ID and no insurance. She is just as bad.

[@strkravinmad]

When this woman finally works up the courage to leave this man and begins to value herself, she will look back on it months or years later and be in disbelief at all the BS she tolerated. I sincerely hope she raises her standards.

[@coolaunt516]

You get who you think you deserve.

[@OhMaryJo]

WHEN he has a car accident with no insurance coverage SHE will be deeper in a debt she may never be able to crawl out of. The good news is that they aren’t married so she can (and should) just leave.

[@robsanchez9270]

She is just as immature as he is to let those childish things keep happening.. I mean she called in a talk show to find out how to tell her BOYFRIEND how to be a husband?? NEVER GUNA HAPPEN.. he’s a loser for life.. CANCEL THE INSURANCE SELL THE CAR MOVE OUT DONT LOOK BACK!!

[@coolwater55]

Sounds like this is what the women did in his family, so he probably gaslights her to be like his family.

[@natashaj9169]

Don't think she is childish just delusional to protect herself somehow.

[@David-wo9un]

I am confused by the fact that she says he can’t afford $75 a week for childcare, but she also says she’s too poor to leave; how much $$ does he bring to the relationship?

[@VanJR.]

He makes double than what she makes hence why she wants him to help more because he’s not doing his parental duties

[@Ryan-wx1bi]

And he apparently has two jobs, but somehow he's a "child"... I don't get it

[@paulababula9621]

​@@Ryan-wx1bi I swear men are so fucking obtuse. They hear what they want to hear

[@kellharris2491]

This is the problem with many men. They think their only job is to make money. That's not a partner. She is basically a single Mom.

[@rachelmaddowswife8713]

@@kellharris2491 He isn't even living up to that though, he makes double the income, yet pays for less than half of his child's daycare bill? How the heck does that work out? She's doing the majority of everything right now, including financial. My interpretation of the "too poor to leave before the lease is up" comment is that she's worried if she moves out, she'll have to pay for the rent at her new apartment plus the rent at his apartment, because she assumes he'll refuse to step up to the plate and care for himself. Her name is on the current apartment lease and he has no problem threatening to ruin her financially just like he does with the car that she pays for. He'll expect the part time working mother of his kids to not only pay her bills, care for his kids, and financially support his kids, but also essentially pay him alimony! This dude is insane, the selfishness knows no bounds.

[@melissab0515]

He will not change. I was married to a man who was very immature like this and it never changed even after 7 years of marriage. Kids will not change him. Threats will not change him. He won’t change even through a divorce. And my ex did not change even now that he is married to another woman and has another child.

[@Jaxmusicgal23]

I just dont want to deal with him after the divorce either. I feel so stuck. I want to be free but he thinks I have it sooo “good”. I pray someone sees the truth. I know God does. I pray He releases me in the right way somehow. He keeps telling me how much he cares and loves me but then acts and chooses himself first. He will do good for a bit and then right back to what he wants…

[@melissab0515]

@@Jaxmusicgal23 you don’t have it so good if you wish you were free of him. I am sorry for your situation. God bless