I Told My Dad His Girlfriend Will Never Be Welcome In My Home After What They Did

[@Lucina..]

“He protested at first because most of his relationships don’t last that long”… at that point I would have just stared vacantly at him until he realised the problem 😂

[@daphnereal3129]

I hope OP's father breaks up with this latest girlfriend before the year is up. I don't buy her crocodile tears, and it's concerning that she was fully intending on violating OP's boundaries.

[@ndawn90]

Yeah, it's pretty telling to me that the gf was cool with stomping OP's boundaries until she heard a "good enough" reason to respect the boundary. How about, if someone sets a boundary with you, you respect it, end of discussion? No explanation required? Also the fact that she was so adamant on meeting these grandchildren when even she has to realize that her relationship with this man is not going to last. That's why she was so insistent on meeting the kids before the year mark, because she knows that she's not going to make it that far. So her wanting to meet the kids under that circumstance is bizarre.

[@yamairad1]

Kid obsessed is never good. There is no logical reason for a complete stranger to be obsessed with meeting some kids she has no connections with. That is just creepy.

[@iamalbertwesker2]

Kid obsessed usually means they're infertile and want to co-opt their partner's existing kids, to hell with any boundaries.

[@whitneybennett4857]

Not to mention, even if the assault against the little girl in 2022 HADN'T happened, grandpa's new w**** KNEW about OP's rule and was fully willing to disrespect her in her own house for her own selfishness. Then she has the audacity to call OP and chastize this woman she doesn't know for not allowing her to trample all over her boundaries?

[@marshawargo7238]

I was wondering if dad has an age limit? Only dates women under 40, if it's a year, 6 months or whatever, as soon as she hits 40 she's gone! I also wonder if the pushy gf is of child bearing years & so wants to prove to everyone how Great she is with kids & therefore would be a Great mom? If he has money & is still capable of having kids, what's the big deal about some nobody girls boundaries being pushed, when she can take advantage to prove to everyone that She should be giving dad another child, OP a little sibling to dote on & possibly beg to watch on weekends but most of all, another two hands to help her gather the inheritance when the time comes!!!

[@Sherwoody]

Introduce her as, “Hey kids, here’s the woman grandpa’s sleeping with now. Don’t worry if you don’t like her, she’ll be gone in a few weeks or less”.

[@gimmeabreak6844]

Boom!

[@c.b.h1151]

Protect the children's feelings and needs first, at all costs - children are not there to prop up adult feelings.

[@eywine.7762]

100% agree. Children should not be exposed to unnecessary adult drama.

[@justinburgard4700]

How does grandpa having a new girlfriend every year negatively effect the children? Like I understand it was traumatic for the mom when she was a child to have a new "mom" around every year but this doesn't really apply to uncles/aunts/grandparents...

[@SunBeeSmoked]

​@justinburgard4700 it absolutely can apply

[@bakedandbeaded]

@@justinburgard4700Yes, it does apply to them, too, especially if they’re around the kids. You’re weirdz

[@delilahbelle2125]

S1: NGL, if there was a strange adult who was insistent on meeting my kids and was pressing to meet them, I'd be beyond suspicious. If they tried pushing my boundaries on meeting my kids, I'd get downright outrageous and accuse them of ill intentions.

[@lissachocolate]

S1- I also felt it was suspicious of girlfriend being so intent on meeting what basically to her was a stranger’s kids. Creepy vibes.

[@ElleD308]

​@@lissachocolate In this case , it is not creepy. She's one of many, and she probably thinked that if his family loved her and made her a part of them, then she'll be the one to remain.

[@Sherwoody]

@@ElleD308 good thought. She might see it as a way to last longer.

[@anthonynoble9819]

Uu😢😢o😊u😅9uuikfyjoloii😢oiu​@@lissachocolateion

[@anthonynoble9819]

​@@lissachocolateyuoolii

[@CreditR01]

1 - OP's rules are completely reasonable. OP's tired of her father's dating shenanigans and doesn't want her kids getting disappointed. His lifestyle is obnoxious and not great for kids to be around anyway.

[@cyndib511]

I can't imagine a person in their 60s not being able to ever maintain a long-term relationship.

[@Sherwoody]

@@cyndib511 he might be able to get-um , he just can’t keep-um.

[@ndawn90]

Frankly, OP would be well within her rights to say that grandpa never gets to bring his woman du jour around the kids, ever! I mean, realistically what's the point of them meeting his grandchildren in the first place? They're never going to be "step-grandma". I also have to wonder how that rule wasn't the world's biggest red flag for grandpa's current GF? The fact that this man has never had a long term relationship in decades, so much so that his daughter has an actual rule for when they can meet the grandchildren, and that timeline is a year because so few of his relationships even make it that long. That shiz is a red flag the size of Russia!!

[@Sherwoody]

@@ndawn90 grandpa might be rich. Just like the women that beat a path to his door, she may want him around for the money.

[@user-wr3vt8uq4s]

@@ndawn90 Yeah, why try to normalize grandpa's trashy behavior? All it teaches the kids is that relationships are short lived and a revolving door. I'm confused as to "I love him, but he's an AH". I just don't see why she'd put up with him. Keep the elderly f--- boy away from the family.

[@mx9226]

I can understand OP still loving her dad while not liking him. But that lifestyle is not healthy for children to be around. S2: “Oh woe is me! People don’t want to spend time with me even though I’m a jerk to everyone I meet.”

[@SnowyWolborg]

OP's father is 60+. It's about time to give up the idea of him ever introducing any woman he sees to his grandchildren as if they are ever going to have a relationship with. He's proven for OP's entire life that he never has lasting relationships with women, so why would she expose her kids to granddad's new girlfriend when he swaps them out year after year?

[@silentlyjudgingyou]

There's something wrong with that man if he keeps getting dumped every year.

[@akl2k7]

@@silentlyjudgingyou No kidding. Either he has terrible tastes in women or he's a terrible partner. I personally think it's a bit of both, considering his lack of respect for boundaries and the descriptions of three of his girlfriends (the one kissing despite being a "friend", the slapper and the child-crazy current one).

[@UnicornOfDepression]

#2: NTA. "Dude, you know my GF doesn't like you. That's why you are not invited to her birthday dinner. This is 100% on you."

[@bessieburnet9816]

Story 2: Why does this guy still associate with a guy who insults his friends's partners?

[@tgbedini]

My reaction too. He sounds like an unpleasant ass, he is disliked by all of her friends, and OP is "gee, I don't know why they dislike a "shit talker" who insults people and makes no effort to be pleasant." And, "If it was my birthday, he'd be the first I invited?" Why? Because you like being abused?

[@pollypockets508]

OP should have said 'She hates you dude and it's not about you'

[@emm_uhh]

Q​@@tgbedini

[@TordenFaaret]

s1: RED FLAG, ABORT! ABORT! like new gf hears someone has a boundary and immediately goes "let's break it"? "no" is a complete sentence, it shouldn't take childhood trauma for someone to respect your boundaries. OP was right to keep her boundary firm and set a harder one.

[@saldiven2009]

Story 2: Dude's friend takes pride in being a jerk to everyone and then gets surprised and offended that people don't want to be around him....

[@Catherine.Dorian.]

Right? Reminds me of parents that raise monsters and excuse their behavior but don’t seem to connect that they’re raising someone people won’t want to be around

[@kazzuo32]

Right!!

[@marshawargo7238]

"You know that I'm just brutally honest" 😂😂😂😂😂

[@xiaxian11]

I used to say “if you role play as an asshole I’m going to treat you like an asshole.”

[@DrownedInExile]

OP is NTA, but he comes off as very weak for not confronting this crap directly, and apologizing to the friend. You bet his g/f will pick up on that.

[@eldeano9964]

Story 2: Why is the friend upset?. Op was just 'telling it like it is'. Gotta love all these stories of people knowing full well that their friend is shitty, but they've been friends since school/college etc. Sunk cost fallacy.

[@TisOnlyAScratch]

3:10 - Nice does not mean good. Also switching out girlfriends is a good reason to not let kids get attached.

[@TisOnlyAScratch]

My SIL's Dad's Girlfriend is in all her family wedding photos. Less than 2 years later, I visit my Bro and SIL. Dad has new GF. We take family Christmas pictures. Dad and NGF Leave and SIL takes new pics without Dad and NGF. That's when I found out about XGF and NGF. (I don't see them often enough to ask questions to get answers I'll never remember anyway. Too much mental energy.)

[@catandrobbyflores]

Just because you see a smile doesn't mean you know what's underneath.

[@carolroberts4614]

"One can smile and smile, and be a villain!"

[@Neillan]

Wow, can see why the mom ditched OP's dad early on. What an unimaginable loser! Good on her for protecting herself and her children and getting into a stable marriage afterwards too!

[@paden1865able]

Your stepdad was there years before your kids were born, he's a stable family member who is trusted. Flavor of the year girlfriend can stay away, along with your dad unless they've been married for awhile. What a jerk.

[@charles0322mrsdani]

I would have called the cops on the one hit the child and presses charges

[@AutumnFire1414]

Oof! The cops would have been putting me in handcuffs if someone did that to my kid. I'm sure I'd be facing a prison sentence.

[@katypurrito4429]

The entitlement of these random strangers wanting to meet her kids.

[@hi_stranger9156]

Story 1: *"Whys"* do not matter. Respecting boundaries...no matter *"why"* the boundary is made...absolutely DO matter. In fact, when it comes to boundaries, that is the ONLY thing that matters. And people who insist on breaking boundaries deserve every consequence they have to pay. Don't want to pay the price? Don't trample my boundaries. You will always be right in defending your boundaries. And whomever breaks them will always be wrong.

[@jaymevosburgh3660]

S2: People like this friend are the worst! Op sucks for still being friends with a guy that openly enjoys putting down Op's gf.

[@chickinskinz]

It’s not about the girlfriend. It’s about the kids. Regardless of who dad is dating, the constant switch of partners will negatively implicate the kids. Dad & sister are completely missing why OP is being so strict. If it were me my dad’s partners wouldn’t meet my kids until he was engaged.

[@reshawshid]

1:35 "He protested at first because most of his relationships don't last that long." My guy, that is the POINT. You can't just keep introducing and taking away new family members to children every few months, they need stability and you need to make better romantic decisions.

[@wmdkitty]

"He talks shyt and insults my GF. I just can't figure out why she doesn't like him!" Can this OP get any more clueless?

[@poohbear4515]

Ya know, if this boundary-breaking routine continued to break no matter what OP did, or said, why does OP continue to allow her father to be around her kids? Why allow someone that doesn’t care about her, or her kids at all and only cares what he wants and he does? Especially when he defended his cruel ex before they broke up? He’s not a good person to be around the kids at all yet she continued to allow him around them! Edit: If I saw someone slap my child for a small mistake they made on pure accident, they would be in a hospital in a coma after I’m done with them.

[@paulagoeringer9466]

This. How can anyone be calm after seeing their baby be attacked? How do you not go full feral tigress on them? I truly don't understand.

[@micahmussman-watts1478]

20 bucks says it money. Bet dadd is loaded

[@adamgreyskul678]

Story 1: I'm sorry she slapped a TWO YEAR OLD??? These parents are way calmer than I would have been. She's lucky all they did was kick her out. I and/or my wife would have likely left numerous hand prints on her face. 😡

[@coureenlawrence4915]

You and me both, brother, slapping my two years old, hell nah..

[@themagicconch.804]

No is a full sentence within itself. Why is op’s father so obsessed with pushing her boundaries, it’s not needlessly cruel it’s called protecting their children. Nobody wants their kids to get attached to someone who’s not gonna be staying in their lives. That’s a very difficult thing to approach especially as a parent. It’s her kids so her rules point blank period.

[@bhutehole]

then you should not send them to school. or daycare, or ..... your arguments are just pure emotion and not grounded in logic

[@gurglequeen433]

​@@bhuteholeThere's a difference between teachers and classmates, and a revolving door of step grandmothers.

[@SenseiRaisen]

@@bhutehole You're missing the point here. Protecting your CHILD knowing the other person is a danger is a valid reason. The logic is to cut that out of the root from the begin. This is also the reason why schools and even daycares abuse of that when parents are just "busy". I heard stories about daycare been pricks to kids. Or all the stories about schools allowing bullying but the moment a kid defend themselves is a big deal. Also with your logic, then you should expose your kids to harm? "Bhutehole" ... more like "Bu*thole" Do you wanna get beaten up? no? then SHHHH!!

[@ToxicSunrise132]

​@@bhutehole Dude, those people are supposed to come and go. Family isn't. Not to mention, Grandpa's got a track record of defending abusive partners at the expense of his family. Why risk bringing in another gem like the woman who HIT the granddaughter if they're not going to be around longer than eight months anyway?

[@kitarrah1422]

​@@bhuteholeYou are being deliberately obtuse. 🙄

[@Mrwillie95]

I don’t blame op for putting her kids safety over dad happiness because her dad only cares about his happiness story 1

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

I agree. OP's a great mom. ❤ At this point, I don't blame her if she decides to go no contact with her scumbag dad.

[@rhondasisco-cleveland2665]

“He objected, because most of his relationships don’t last that long.”… so there’s no reason they need to meet. So, we’re AGREED! Thanks for being so understanding daddy! Seriously though, if she really loves kids, if he explains it to her, SHE would AGREE. After hearing about the slap, I would ask for him to bring a background check, before they meet your kids.

[@Mama_Bear_of_3]

🙂☕️! Story 1. OP setting the boundry that her father wait until he is dating someone for a year before they introduce the children is an excellent thing to do. Her children are young, and having a constantly changing flow of Grandpa's girlfriends coming in and out of their lives would most certainly confuse the children. Also, it doesn't matter that the person in question is a woman; OP and her husband need to take time to first get to the the woman to make sure it is safe to have her around her children. While we may not hear about it often, there are vile women in the world who are sexual predators. Oh, and yeah, OP is most definitely NOT the AH.

[@gurglequeen433]

Imagine this, imagine OP let her dad introduce her kids to every girlfriend he gets. What is gonna happen when the kids ask the new girlfriend about old girlfriends because I guarantee they'll ask. It's just unecessary drama.

[@tantelila7464]

Who with sound common sense would wear a new white dress to visit children, especially if one of them is only two years old? I have my “stain outfit” for cases like this. And hitting the toddler is unacceptable.

[@meirin5316]

yep. psycho behaviour. brrr

[@Galworld761]

Dry cleaners exist. Accidents happen. Don’t wear expensive clothes around kids.

[@itsjustmaddisen]

Even if the 2022 incident didn't happen, it's not okay to just expect things to go your way because you want it. They aren't your kids, you're a stranger and pushing your way through on kids birthday is just really icky I'm actually suspicious about the new girlfriend and whether she'll truly be good around the kids. Sounds like she could be the obsessive kind that demands being family and pushing for affection when kids don't know them (I had adults do that to me and it made me tense up and move away from them).

[@DamianFloresRF]

-If she can't be in your party, we're both leaving. -Be my guest. -Thank you, sweetie. I knew you'd come to reason.

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

OP did everything right, it’s up to his friend now to see if he can behave in a civilized manner. Whatever happens with him, OP has done well.

[@hi_stranger9156]

Story 2: I'm just so amazed that it sounds like almost everywhere he goes people immediately don't like him one way or another lol. Just how much of a shit talker is this guy?? He's repelling every woman lmao. And The audacity of the best friend to throw in *"sorry about being shitty to your girlfriend, by the way I'm kind of into her sister..."* Way to shoot your shot,my guy. */eyeroll*

[@AceMoonshot]

"sorry about being shitty to your girlfriend, by the way I'm kind of into her sister..." Just as the story is ending, it is not with a white flag of truce but a big red warning flag.

[@user-wr3vt8uq4s]

That friend sounds like he's mentally 12 at best.

[@megaspit]

The kinds of parents who have a revolving door of relationships need to keep kids out of it. I can assure you from experience that no kid wants to be involved with that. Also, bringing her without asking puts him in the wrong immediately anyway

[@shells500tutubo]

And what happens as the kids get older is they will purposely sabotage the parent's relationship by calling the partner the previous partner's name, feigning innocence in their "mistake", saying it is hard to keep up with the revolving door, lol.

[@chrisester2910]

OP's kids are not the prize in the grandpa box! No one deserves to meet her kids.

[@marleenstukkien5384]

"Needlessly cruel to someone you don't know": So, you have to have to hand over your kids to anyone, especially if you don't know them? Search out a fresh new person you don't know every day to hand your kinds over to? As a sign of not being cruel?

[@Tyler171819]

Story 1: Even without the violent ex GF story, dad’s new GF still attempt to ignore a parent’s boundaries about their children. Safe people to be around kids don’t do that. GOOD people, don’t do that. She has shown herself to be neither.

[@suzannepatterson3445]

Last story: It's uncommon for the group subjected to abuse (the OP didn't label it that way, but that's how it seems from his description) to form such strong boundaries and for all of them to agree with a course of action to deal with the behavior. If this happened more often there'd be far less misery in the world. But it's more common for the majority of the group to avoid confrontation and just put up with the bad behavior, which only perpetuates it. I gotta say that I'm impressed. It's equally uncommon for someone like the unlikable friend to have so much self-awareness, to be willing to admit he was wrong, and to apologize. I give kudos to them all.

[@alyzu4755]

Story 1: NTA. It's not Grandpa's decision. If he wants to continue his relationship with his grandkids he'd better start putting them before his flavors of the month. Wait: One of the exes SLAPPED OP's 2 year-old?!?!? And he defended her?!?!? Nah, that'd be it for me. Also, the new GF is still a jerk, even after the apology. And anyone calling OP the AH is an idiot.

[@chrisester2910]

Grandpa's girlfriends or even the new wife would NOT be a grandma, ever.

[@macylouwho1187]

I grew up like this but it was BOTH parents who acted like this (and they both also cheated on their current (temporary) partners. It is EXTREMELY hard to deal with as a kid. Sometimes you would get nice ones who made you feel loved or special only to lose them after so long when your promiscuous parent dips for a new sex partner. So you get your heart broken over and over again because you love that person and then you never see them ever again when the relationship ends. Also, you frequently go from one great relationship to another absolutely terrible one when the next partner hates that your parent has a kid and looks at you with distaste like a bug that needs to be crushed. So it’s jarring to go from love to hate with the new partners. For me this was times two because I had two parents who couldn’t stop sleeping around if their lives depended on it. So the revolving door of partners was never ending. Loss after loss after loss. And then you’ve got the new partners with other kids in the mix, so a constant stream of new kids you are being shoved in with and made to go hang out with. One of my father’s partners had gotten pregnant young and had an adult son who they left me with and he molested me, and said some of the most vile things that I’ve ever heard said to an adult-let alone a child of ten years old. The things he said to me, the shame and fear he forcibly instilled in me to cover his own misdeeds stay with me forever. There very much is an inherent danger in introducing adult after adult to your children and sometimes parents aren’t aware of what their kid is going through. In my case, he told me that I was a “HOR” who deserved it (at ten years old) and that my parents would be so ashamed of me if they knew what I was. It almost guaranteed that I would never tell for years until I was in or enough to understand that he lied and manipulated my young child self into silence.

[@kitarrah1422]

I'm so sorry you went through that. 😢 Hugs

[@macylouwho1187]

@@kitarrah1422 thank you so much 💕. In the end the douchebag went to prison for breaking and entering with a weapon at some old couple’s house so I’m sure his life is just what he deserves behind bars. My life has been great, filled with love and stability after I got away from my parents at 17. I had to finish school living with friends and bouncing from house to house to not wear out my welcome, but I managed to finish school. My high school boyfriend got out ahead of me and lined up a place for us to live as soon as he could and we’ve been together ever since. We’re now in our forties and our youngest is due to leave in May for her college town. We have had a happy life, very comfortable. We worked hard to make things better for ourselves and our kids never went through anything like we did. So at least it taught me how NOT to live and meant my kids were safe and loved. They had an extremely safe/secure childhood.

[@kitarrah1422]

@@macylouwho1187 I'm glad you are doing well and you have so much love and happiness in your life now.

[@macylouwho1187]

@@kitarrah1422 thank you :)

[@stacyteal6221]

My husband is a crap talk, same as my dad and brothers but knows not to do that around people they just met, or friends they don't know well. The op's friend is just a jerk.

[@sixwingedbee81]

s1: I was a kid watching dad have a string of gfs over the years, when I was even aware of them. I got introduced to his new wife once out of the blue, and they divorced six months later. It's.. a lot. I wish someone had told him to not be like that, so I understand why OP is putting her foot down. s2: I have a friend group from college and there was a dude like that in it. He got majorly dumped and became the most sour person to anyone in relationships (she stole his dog), ESPECIALLY his best friend. When his best friend found love, a woman he was absolutely smitten for and gonna marry? This guy was so sour about it. Very rude to her. She's admitted to me that she almost wanted to ask him to NOT have him be the best man, but she didn't want to be that wedge. But it was horrible to the point that after the wedding, the friend and his wife cut contact with the dude. He ruined decades of friendship because he couldn't stand the thought of another close person/thing in his life being 'taken away by a woman'. This is what will happen to OP's friend.

[@NopeScope14]

She's not great with kids if she disrespects their mother and steam-rolls over the safety precautions

[@Mrwillie95]

Op friend is just mad because he doesn’t get to be in the spotlight at op girlfriend birthday dinner story 2

[@chuuu4610]

Having a GF slap OP’s kids and even defending her for a split second should have had the father in no-contact territory forever.

[@shells500tutubo]

I was going to say that it seems like when parents divorce, the father always has different girlfriends around from one week to the other, often leaving them alone with the kids, but I take that back. It is the NON-CUSTODIAL PARENT who seems to do that, possibly because they don't see the effect it has on the kids, or because the reason they are non-custodial is because they don't CARE about the effect it has on their kids. It's ok for them, so why should the kids care? Anyway, so refreshing to see and Op who didn't tolerate her Dad's bs and took action.

[@jetset808]

if my dads wife told me that she knew the rule of waiting 12 months and she told me she thinks there is an exception for her i would make that exception. IT would be never

[@darkmask5933]

Story 2: Update: "I called my friend and spent a whole minute apologizing for going behind his back", this tells me everything I need to know that OP is a doormat. I rolled my eyes so hard, 'going behind his back' for a birthday party for someone who hates him? OP needs to grow a spine. I guess this was a good update, but OP really need to work on polishing that backbone of his. Also, for his sake I hope OP actually asks his GF and her sister if it's OK if the friend meets them in person to apologize. Maybe it was just me but kind of gave me a bit of the ick when OP was like 'I just know she'll forgive him because she's such a forgiving person', nice way of setting your girlfriend up to feel obligated to just accept someone's apology regardless of her actual feelings, bro.

[@Russman67]

Story 1: Dad doesn't believe in Boundaries! And the new girlfriend thinks she's the exception to all rules. 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♀️🤦 So he doesn't get to bring his flavor of the month around to meet grandkids.

[@shirleyanneyoung955]

Ist story - it doesn’t matter why op has this rule, the girlfriend had absolutely no right to try breaking op’s rule.

[@dawnbrown7921]

Yes 🙌 I have coffee ☕️ perfect Saturday morning ❤hope everyone has a wonderful day 😊

[@Kati_P]

A people pleasing narcissist? That's a new one for me.

[@lyndatuttle]

Blically they are like that because it makes them look nice in strangers' eyes. To relatives, it is the other side. My mother is like that. She movedcinto a home and started dating a really nice man who was Christian. Suddenly, she was going to vespers and other services with him. Her only god is money. When he passed away, she stopped going. When I was growing up, we went to a Luthern church, then a mega Baptist, then a methodist. She was looking for boyfriends.

[@meirin5316]

well op said narcissistic tendencies

[@michellean893]

The second story reminds me of a friend I had who I had to cut off because she also prided herself on riling people up. She went out of her way to make things awkward and uncomfortable, and called it her thing. The final straw was when I introduced my boyfriend ( now husband) to my group of friends. I warned her beforehand to just please behave and not to try and start shit. She knew that the political situation in his country was really tense and sensitive and she tried to get him worked up about it. I begged her beforehand to leave the issue alone, and she just couldn’t help herself from bringing it up and being obnoxious and insensitive. I was done with her after that and my life has been completely drama free for years after I ended the friendship.

[@MimosaRose]

Story1- I would go SCORCHED earth, if I saw someone hit my child, especially an adult. OP is NTA.

[@cpaul9269]

S1 - A conversation with father explaining what you are trying to accomplish should be enough. If not, F him. Ask him why he is trying to hurt your kids! What the hell is the big push from him every time he gets a new GF?! Is he using your kids to get women?!

[@davidransom4476]

GF slaps young child for spilling juice and didn't get dragged out of the event by the hair?

[@lori6943]

I wouldn't introduce kids to ppl he's " dating" unless it's a long time partner

[@britnicox3929]

1: I’m glad the dad apologized and called her a good mom. It sucks that she’s got a constantly have to deal with someone who doesn’t respect her boundaries as long as she keeps him around though. I just hope that she’s able to reinforce and support her children in setting their boundaries with this man when he inevitably starts trampling theirs too 2: dang imagine being such an asshole that the girl you like hates you after meeting you ONCE smh I hope this is the genuine wake up call this idiot needed so he would stop making other peoples lives miserable including his own. I obviously don’t know what happens in 2021 to make him like this but maybe now he’ll actually start telling people about it so they can give him the support that he clearly needs

[@davidbentley1012]

Story 1: I bet this Mother has a cape fluttering in the wind and a big "M" emblazoned on her chest! " Look! Up in the sky . . ."

[@catharsismemory]

Nope, she already overstepped your boundaries just like her dad. I would tell him she's never meeting them unless they get married and been married for at least a year.

[@highpsi11]

Story 1: People who don't respect other people's boundaries are bound (pun intended) to be confronted, reproached or criticized for their disrespect. It may hurt to take the feedback, but if you can, the relationship can move forward. If not, it eventually breaks under the strain of incompatible expectations and behaviors. Or else the offended party just swallows their unhappiness and gives up in despair while the inappropriate person may never understand why people distance themselves.

[@catharsismemory]

S1. Dad can't stand to be alone.

[@aswidfkri-vx4xv]

Karma is the best twist, love this story

[@robinkholmes7127]

Story 1: (NTA) Protect your kids from toxic and chaotic people. A child-crazy or bab-crazy woman could turn into a potential kidnapper. Understand that the dad and his girlfriends are a package deal. Who thinks it's a good idea to meet someone and their kids for the first time at a kid's birthday party? It's like announcing you're coming out of the closet or proposing at someone's wedding. I like the theory of the dad being a sexist who can't keep a girlfriend. Who wears an expensive white outfit when going to meet small children? Update: She knew, the girlfriend knew and pushed it. Protect your kids from entitled people like her. The thing is the 2022 incident could happen again you don't really know what another person is like around kids until they're around kids. I don't know why the OP still has a relationship with her dad. Story 2: (NTA) Pick your partner over your friends, unless the partner is toxic. Why does he brag about s**t-talking girlfriends? I would have been more straightforward, rip off the bandaid and told him. It sounds more and more like this "friend" wants the OP and all his friends to be single forever like high school or something. Is this "friend", really a frienemy always single? Also, he's not bragging about his sh**-talking, he's bragging about a whole friend group letting him get away with it. Update: The "friend" apologised. Probably because he got called out for his c**p and can't browbeat his way out of it. Banter is back and forth, not just one-sided mockery. I don't know, I want a birthday and maybe post wedding update.

[@UnicornOfDepression]

#1: NTA. "Dad, you change partners quicker than I change my kid's diapers. I do not want to introduce my children to sixteen 'grandma's' by the time they reach junior high school. Your partners are not welcome around my children because they won't be around for longer than 6 months. Remember your GF who assaulted my child for spilling a drink?"

[@paulagoeringer9466]

Plus, with as often as he changes his gfs, I'd be concerned about him bringing one that's caught something. Op doesn't need to worry about disinfecting everything they touch so the kids don't get infected. Even cold sores are highly contagious. With the rate he goes through women, the odds of one or more of them having something gets higher with each one.

[@c.f.3818]

'It's not about him.' Which is what he should tell his friend. It's about the gf's birthday.

[@kenziecarter9458]

Thank you for the daily uploads LG!

[@SK98765]

Ignore your daughter's boundaries because I'm amazing. Yeah, that's not a red flag in and of itself

[@erichall6772]

I believe the sister should’ve stayed out of it since it’s not her kids and none of her business

[@Dustin81]

Not yours either yet your allowed to have an opinion on the matter.

[@kellymckinney5082]

A really lovely person who loves children should understand the need to protect children's emotional health and well-being and honor the decisions made on behalf of these children by the parents. She would become the ally of the parents and not advocate to violate the parents' wishes in respect to their children. She would set aside the immediate gratification of meeting the children and patiently wait until it is OK for the parents to meet their children.

[@louellacharlton4425]

Tyvm LG. Stay safe please, peace. 🎉

[@borountree4539]

Being good with children and overly interested in meeting them is such a red flag. Whether she is a good person or not is somewhat irrelevant as the important issue is whether she and grandpa will work out. Being good with children means the grandchildren are likely to become attached so it is important the relationship with grandpa is lasting before taking the step of introducing them.

[@lukejackson2354]

Story 1: Oh no… He’s what I call a “belligerent doormat”. The person that insists on pleasing others to the detriment of others is someone that has the worst traits of a narcissist and a doormat as they both see their closest ones as an extension of themselves while having no self-respect. At the end the people they consider the closest are the worst treated and barely get the doormat side at all so basically no upside being close to them.

[@nerd1949]

NTA. This steady stream of women that your father is sleeping with are not entitled to meet your children. Your father is an adult and can do what he likes in his personal life, but he doesn't get to make demands on you. And I honestly don't understand why the current girlfriend is so intent on meeting the grandchildren of her boyfriend. She's not a member of the family. It is perfectly logical to not want temporary girlfriends to be introduced to your children. There's no point to it.

[@KarmikCykle]

Story 1: OP, you're a good mom. Keep it up.

[@RJ-sb5qr]

Story 1: NTA! Your house, your rules, plain and simple. Daddy thought you would let them stay because they showed up, that you would just let it slide. Good for you for protecting your children. Story 2: NTA You are doing the right thing. Your GF is your priority. It's her birthday and you followed her request. You friend is the AH.

[@TwiggyHetfield27]

Story 1: "she deserved to meet my kids" I'm sorry, how exactly does she "deserve" that privilege? Being "nice" doesn't give her or him the right. OPs kids, OPs rules. Sounds like dad just wants to appease his new gf rather then respecting his daughters wishes. Also anyone who's "kid obsessed" is never a good sign. Glad her husband's on her side but her sister... "your being needlessly cruel to a woman you've never met" AND? That's the point! OPs never met her. Why would she subject her kids to a stranger!? After Update: Honestly, telling the new gf about WHY the rule is in place shouldn't have been necessary. She should've understood & accepted OPs rule. "Yeaaaaa i knew about your arbitrary rule but I'm GREAT with kids so i had your father break it" Screw off lady. You probably won't be here in a couple months so why bother.

[@gknight7778]

19:50: let's hope that the friend has the 'Will' to keep that promise.

[@davidprice6002]

Ty LG 😊

[@deborahdebiak2293]

So … gramps thinks it’s ok to thrust the grandma du jour into the kids lives but when he eventually dumps her ass and the kids start asking questions but then all of a sudden there’s a new grandma du jour

[@frankd5426]

change the rule! make it 18 months and tell dad that each time he tries to make it less you will add 1 month on to the time restriction! oh and i do not understand your sisters thinking? how are you being cruel to a woman you have never met or interacted with? and why is it so important for her to "meet" YOUR KIDS? your father is the eternal teen that never mentally grew up. peter pan if you will (in his head) if this gf knew the rules and insisted on breaking them....she NEVER gets to meet your kids EVER

[@defuncttoad9552]

Idk why they don't like each other *lists how mean and annoying he is*

[@annem7806]

Your home, your decision. It confuses the kids. Tell her to her face if necessary since Dad wont follow the rules. OMG, she hit your child? You will have to tell the GF all the reasons why. 2 decades of his BS.

[@annem7806]

Tell your friend flat out why he is not included. Let him know all the reasons. He's gaslighting & manipulative. Tell him stfu, ge created the problem.

[@michelebrown9923]

I think that there may be a good possibility that both these stories are real, and I like the way the boyfriend handled himself in the second one.

[@tracygardner6318]

You don’t slap children it was an accident. Children are more important than clothing.

[@DudeEM]

In the Bible, Jesus said “Tell me who your friends are & I’ll tell you who you are.” Now, religion & divinity aside, that statement is quite accurate in real life. In story 2, OP is best friend with a self-proclaimed “trash talker” & disrespects his friends’ girlfriends & OP somehow gaslights everyone that he and his other friends (if this is true) have learned to tolerate this attitude of his. It’s either OP is a closeted classless rude guy himself, or this friendship is a sunk cost fallacy for him or worse, the friend is the alpha & OP is one of the pack wolves.

[@paulagoeringer9466]

Birds of a feather flock together. The fact he likes hanging out with this human equivalent of a dingleberry speaks volumes about him.

[@9r7g5h]

OP is in the right, but I do wonder how this is supposed to be enforced if someone besides her throws a party. The sister, for example. If the sister invites OP and her family, and invites OP's dad and his partner, how would something like that be handled? OP has no control in that situation, and no right to dictate who's there. So would she just skip all family events they're at and isolate her kids?

[@silentlyjudgingyou]

What is wrong with that man. If he's going through women at that rate at his age the kids don't deserve to be upset every time he gets dumped. Also why is he getting dumped all the time. EDIT: Oh he's getting dumped constantly because he's a dick I hope he at least behaves around children.

[@49erGuy]

Story number one I would just tell my sister and my father it's my house my kids my rules no one breaks them and if they do they're done forever, that woman is not allowed in my house and if he tries to bring her to my house I will call the cops and she won't be let in the house I will not let her, why is this stranger so obsessed with your kids that's creepy I would never let her meet my kids I don't care how long we stay together

[@ronnieferguson9337]

Nope, that little stunt would’ve earned lil’ smarty pants another 12 months added!

[@Norinia]

Story 1: “Waah, most of my relationships don’t last so long as 12 months so the kids won’t get to meet a new step-granny!!!” Daughter: “That’s the *entire f^cking point.”*

[@flamingodahlia3703]

I wouldn't let any women he dates meet my kids, he would need to marry them first

[@kenyabrunson4985]

OP's dad defending his girlfriend who slapped her TWO YEAR OLD? Dad would have been PERMA-BANNED if it was me!

[@dianasmith8248]

Story one: So NTA, my brother’s partner was absolutely obsessed with his kids and meetings his kids and blending their family. I told my brother that Broad is nuts cut her loose. Unfortunately, he did not, but she is definitely nuts. She also didn’t raise her oldest two children. Her parents did. Of course she did her best to pretty it up by saying the three of them. Meaning her and her parents all made any major decisions regarding the children. Which I don’t buy considering how many places she has lived and how many times she has been homeless. I consider it by the grace of God that this woman only has five kids by two different men.

[@brigandboy1425]

Simply put, her father should not be bringing women he's banging around his grandkids. That's so weird an irresponsible of him on so many levels.

[@cassieosbourne7666]

‘But most of my relationships don’t last a year’ and you have just explained why she doesn’t want her kids to meet them. Good, everyone’s on the same page

[@FlyingPurplePplEatr]

Having a boundary for a parent doesn’t mean you don’t respect them.. in fact it normally means the COMPLETE opposite. ^^ written before OP mentioned her boundary issue with him because I peeped early And would you look at that.. her father is narcissistic and willing to pick a woman over his daughter (again and again and again) and that woman has clearly shown she shouldn’t be trusted. I doubt they make it to a year anyhow.