I Told My Wife No. . .Now She Wants a Divorce

  Рет қаралды 210,301

The Dr. John Delony Show

The Dr. John Delony Show

Күн бұрын

📱 Early access: Watch episodes of The Dr. John Delony Show one week early-download the free Ramsey Network app today! ter.li/6mq24h
I Told My Wife No. . .Now She Wants a Divorce
Next Steps:
📞 Ask John a question! ter.li/0pimqr
📚 Building a Non-Anxious Life: ter.li/fyhaoy
📝 Anxiety Test: ter.li/mxzwvu
📚 Own Your Past, Change Your Future: ter.li/i3140q
❓ Questions for Humans Conversation Cards: ter.li/vgqw13
💭 John's Free Guided Meditation: ter.li/s72fi6
🤘🏼 The Dr. John Delony Show Merch: ter.li/p2ekj1
Connect With Our Sponsors:
🌱 Get 10% off your first month of BetterHelp. ⮕ www.betterhelp...
🔴 Get 15% off with code DELONY at BON CHARGE. ⮕ boncharge.com/...
🌿 Get up to 40% off with code DELONY at Cozy Earth. ⮕ www.cozyearth....
🔒 Get 20% off when you join DeleteMe. ⮕ www.joindelete...
💤 Visit Helix Sleep for special offers! ⮕ www.helixsleep...
🥤 Get 20% off with code DELONY at Organifi. ⮕ www.organifi.c...
💪 Get 25% off your order at Thorne. ⮕ www.thorne.com...
🏋️ Go to Trainwell to get started! ⮕ www.trainwell....
Explore More From Ramsey Network:
🎙️ The Ramsey Show ⮕ ter.li/wtjnp7
💸 The Ramsey Show Highlights ⮕ ter.li/3opzgn
🍸 Smart Money Happy Hour ⮕ ter.li/iy4cj0
💡 The Rachel Cruze Show ⮕ ter.li/46pj7d
💰 George Kamel ⮕ ter.li/9rrvlr
💼 The Ken Coleman Show - Highlights ⮕ ter.li/drmpbx
📈 EntreLeadership ⮕ ter.li/ux0fyw
Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy
www.ramseysolu...
Products:
Questions For Humans: Intimacy: store.ramseyso...
Own Your Past, Change Your Future: store.ramseyso...
Building a Non-Anxious Life: store.ramseyso...
Questions for Humans: Dating store.ramseyso...
Questions for Humans: Parents and Teens store.ramseyso...
Questions for Humans: Parents & Kids: store.ramseyso...
New! Get Clear Career Assessment: Find the Work You’re Wired to Do store.ramseyso...
Questions for Humans: Friends: store.ramseyso...
Questions for Humans: Grandparents and Grandkids store.ramseyso...
Redefining Anxiety: store.ramseyso...

Пікірлер: 1 800
@susansunflower
@susansunflower 5 күн бұрын
What a weird relationship. She's holding you hostage. Do not have another child with her.
@e.d972
@e.d972 5 күн бұрын
That's exactly why she wanted child number 3. To tie him even tighter and take even more advantage of him
@factomaniaofficial3380
@factomaniaofficial3380 5 күн бұрын
Honestly about procreating is that both parents should on the same page on the decision.Because you are bringing something precious in this world a baby. Many partners partners start resenting after being forced
@patriciaalbertson5183
@patriciaalbertson5183 5 күн бұрын
Amen
@raccuia1
@raccuia1 5 күн бұрын
Indeed. She is using threats and leverage against him. That is clearly emotional abuse and should not be tolerated. She is possibly a cluster b personality disordered individual. My view: guy should NOT have another child with her, should file divorce himself and fight for his kids. He needs to start afresh a healthy lifestyle away from her. If he comes up with the old chestnut "but I love her" (which is another way of saying I'm insecure and need her validation to feel emotionally secure) he needs therapy to get his head straight. Definitely he must move on or his life is over.
@annawilliams2336
@annawilliams2336 3 күн бұрын
A child has a right to life.
@marisariverso8925
@marisariverso8925 5 күн бұрын
When you say no to someone. You find out who they really are.
@texasgina
@texasgina 5 күн бұрын
Yep
@nickryan3288
@nickryan3288 3 күн бұрын
True, but ots a little more complex than that. When you set clear boundaries with someone, and those boundaries don't benefit them, you really find out if they're selfish or not.
@scotts.3831
@scotts.3831 5 күн бұрын
She is 110% playing on your fears. Right now, you don't have a wife, you have a roommate
@klickingkayasmr7585
@klickingkayasmr7585 5 күн бұрын
Nah, he has a warden. 🤮 he’s imprisoned and being abused--he needs to escape FAST!!!
@Misseria
@Misseria 5 күн бұрын
worse than a roommate.
@saeedhossain6099
@saeedhossain6099 5 күн бұрын
not a roommate, a jailer
@susanjean3114
@susanjean3114 5 күн бұрын
He has an emotional abuser.
@annc.3908
@annc.3908 5 күн бұрын
Reply #4 🎉
@tarsi00
@tarsi00 4 күн бұрын
I was just like this caller. I spent two years wondering what’s going on because he was telling me everything was fine but then he would randomly threaten to leave until one day he actually did. One year later I am so much happier.
@trollingmermaids
@trollingmermaids 17 сағат бұрын
It's funny because every guy I've ever dated I always am very upfront about my needs and boundaries and when they don't meet them I say I wanna leave and then they beg to stay and say it came out of nowhere even though I've been making my needs and boundaries clear and they knew they weren't meeting my needs and were crossing my boundaries and even with many many conversations they still act surprised when I leave. I wonder if they feel like you do where these conversations were "coming out of nowhere" meanwhile to me it feels like all we talk about
@JustinCase780
@JustinCase780 5 күн бұрын
She's treating the guy like she's training a dog. Get out bro.
@AdamFontenet-h1x
@AdamFontenet-h1x 5 күн бұрын
Nah it's his fault for being scared of his wife ngl. Ain't no way I'd act like this with my wife.
@lowrider81hd
@lowrider81hd 5 күн бұрын
Except way more passive aggressive!
@SpX-StarCraft
@SpX-StarCraft 2 күн бұрын
Dude don’t even have balls
@lw6138
@lw6138 5 күн бұрын
My sister, who has Borderline, does this with everyone. She is divorced twice, has no friends, and all of her children are shattered people. These nuts are predatory harvesters of emotion, not unlike a vampire. In this situation, as a woman, I suspect that she does not feel romantic love for her husband and wants a new baby to fawn over and treat like a doll. Babies mean unconditional love for childish women. This man deserves better. I don't believe in divorce but if she wants to leave, he should absolutely not impregnate her. There will now be a baby who needs her 24/7 and if they break up, that baby will be dangled at him for power. Also, most women look into divorce when they feel they have the upper hand. I'm sure she went to the online calculator to see if she could survive. Maybe I'm wrong and she needs one more baby to get that support as high as possible. This poor guy has been saddled with a vampire. I hope he gets out while he can. There are good women out there.
@motiv311
@motiv311 5 күн бұрын
My mom has borderline, there are 5 of us children.... we are all shattered
@knowthyself8233
@knowthyself8233 5 күн бұрын
You are 💯
@claudeyaz
@claudeyaz 4 күн бұрын
I would also, make sure his kids are not feeling neglected by the mother, if she wants a new baby, she might be disappointed in her kids for no longer acting a certain way
@claudeyaz
@claudeyaz 4 күн бұрын
​@@motiv311 As siblings, you guys should create a pact, so if any of you guys start being symptomatic that sibling will unconditionally allow the other siblings to have power of attorney over them... To prevent the generational issue from causing more damage
@motiv311
@motiv311 4 күн бұрын
@ are you saying that we will be/ are borderline as well? Only one of my siblings has children, even though most of us are in our thirties
@gailjones9461
@gailjones9461 5 күн бұрын
This woman does not need a third child she is the third child. Clueless as to how hard it is for a single mom with two kids out there.
@BigT42l994
@BigT42l994 5 күн бұрын
Not when the court system favors women. Guy will be paying 4 figures in child support a month for her to also live off of
@YeepFaran
@YeepFaran 5 күн бұрын
Totally agree
@standground7956
@standground7956 5 күн бұрын
⁠I don’t care what the court system decides. I’d pay any dollar amount to leave a woman of that caliber.
@DC-gh6dy
@DC-gh6dy 5 күн бұрын
​@@BigT42l994 the point is she won't do better.
@nicokl5593
@nicokl5593 5 күн бұрын
lol Well said, she is the third child
@sw6155
@sw6155 5 күн бұрын
Dude needs to lawyer up and make sure he gets custody because she’ll ruin those kids just to spite him… PROTECT YOUR KIDS!
@Brit626
@Brit626 3 күн бұрын
That's what I'm saying! She totally has "that" vibe.
@zackmooretalks
@zackmooretalks 5 күн бұрын
This is toxic as hell and sounds exhausting. The guy is being walked all over and has turned into a pleaser, and she clearly has zero respect for him and is checked out. Let her go have a total blast being a single mom in today’s dating pool, but after she gets her much needed reality check, don’t be there waiting up for her. She has the emotional capacity of a teenager and wants another kid with someone she threatens to leave whenever she doesn’t get her way… no thanks.
@fox39forever
@fox39forever 5 күн бұрын
Agreed. "Exhausting" is one of the words that came to my mind, too! This is enough to make anyone ill.
@SheLoveSports
@SheLoveSports 5 күн бұрын
Emotionally abusive. She needs individual therapy because no doubt this type of behavior is also spilling over into her relationship with her kids.
@RabidDisposition
@RabidDisposition 5 күн бұрын
You're being a bit delusional. She will walk away with half of his assets, child support, and alimony. She won't have to work, she will be able to afford a baby sitter whenever she wants, she will be able to go out and explore as much dvck as her heart desires. Divorce is nothing but positives for women. It's why they file so often.
@gerryreihsen5084
@gerryreihsen5084 5 күн бұрын
It is correct that the wife has no respect for the caller, but it is because he has no self-respect. A woman cannot respect and, therefore love (but often is happy to take advantage), of a man who has no self-respect. The only sure here is to file for divorce in order for caller to stand his ground with self-respect. I bet she gets in line upon being served, but the caller would be a fool to stop the divorce.
@thinkingagain5966
@thinkingagain5966 5 күн бұрын
​@gerryreihsen5084 it's not as simple as him not having self respect. The financial burden of divorce is hanging over his head. His first mistake was marrying her in the first place
@barryc9115
@barryc9115 2 күн бұрын
If your wife threatens divorce. Go see a lawyer and have her served. Don’t tolerate that BS men.
@cheesygal
@cheesygal 7 сағат бұрын
As a wife I will agree. If someone pulls that card, go with it if it’s a weapon. If it’s a concern that the marriage is in jeopardy, then thats another thing. As in this is threatening our marriage. But if you aren’t getting your way and threaten divorce, then, go for it baby. Caveat, divorced once (not my doing) married for 32 beautiful years.
@amieross4625
@amieross4625 5 күн бұрын
She has decided she is out, emotionally. We are only hearing his side but if she is gaslighting him and breadcrumbing him. He should leave. He needs therapy for himself
@Chet_24
@Chet_24 5 күн бұрын
He doesn't need therapy. Him divorcing her will fix all of his problems.
@SheLoveSports
@SheLoveSports 5 күн бұрын
@@Chet_24 If they divorce, he needs therapy so that he can be healthy going into a new relationship. Many of us, when we come out of relationship trauma, tend to build defenses that hinder our own ability to love and traps our natural personality. Therapy will allow him to process what he has really gone through in a healthy way because right now he is in survival mode and you cannot process pain while in that state.
@JasonTaylor-po5xc
@JasonTaylor-po5xc 5 күн бұрын
@@SheLoveSports Yeah, I tend to agree. Those that don't get therapy after a divorce are part of the MGTOW/Red Pill movement. Just go for a short while to get your head put on straight again and to realize not _all_ ladies are evil. Also, get a passport.
@courtneymcfarland8333
@courtneymcfarland8333 5 күн бұрын
@@Chet_24not really… he seems kinda codependent. Willing to put up with way too much not to be alone.
@wendytravis6427
@wendytravis6427 5 күн бұрын
After all, she is married to the kind of guy that publicly airs their most personal business. Just because DRs like John and Dr Phil do this publicly for a living, which is highly inappropriate, doesn’t mean anyone has to play along.
@simoneaustin8076
@simoneaustin8076 5 күн бұрын
this call was insane… i couldn’t live like this
@briannahatcher9422
@briannahatcher9422 5 күн бұрын
My guy, you have to stop being fearful of things you can't control. Be truthful to yourself. You deserve more. Imo this is emotional abuse. Let go of the fear and take your power back
@mangoyacho
@mangoyacho 5 күн бұрын
@briannahatcher9422 You have given the best advise ... short, sweet and to the point! Well said.
@territakeson
@territakeson 5 күн бұрын
This situations reminds me of my folks. Moms manipulation has given my dad early onset dementia. Makes me sad. Protect yourself and kids sir. Living in a household like this is stressful.
@rpskaza
@rpskaza 5 күн бұрын
It’s so sad, because you can tell he doesn’t want to give up on the relationship. I think he loves his wife a lot more than she does him. In fact, maybe she doesn’t even know how to love.
@Trolly.Troll.
@Trolly.Troll. 5 күн бұрын
I don’t think she even loves him.
@mikecoughlin9437
@mikecoughlin9437 5 күн бұрын
He does not want to lose his kids. I can imagine that he has lost all desire for her. I know I would.
@jmac3482
@jmac3482 5 күн бұрын
Toxic codependency!!!! They need to spilt and both grow and grow up.
@juliejenkins8897
@juliejenkins8897 5 күн бұрын
Having read a lot of posts on reddit pages for women I wouldn't be surprised if she never loved him, she just married him because he was financially secure and she didn't have any better options. He was her Plan B and she never grew love for him, just for his safety and security.
@LS-ry5ey
@LS-ry5ey 5 күн бұрын
Absolutely this
@carolyncarlson6410
@carolyncarlson6410 2 күн бұрын
Lived with a man who threatened to leave off & on for 26 years- eventually I left once our child was grown, you don't deserve the spiritual torture
@VivPhotography
@VivPhotography 5 күн бұрын
This sounds exhausting. This is no way to live. He needs to leave her already - she's already left him in every way except for physically leaving. She knows she has the upper hand because he told her his greatest fear is that she'd leave him.
@tduck828
@tduck828 5 күн бұрын
Right! This is emotional abuse for sure. I could not live like that either!
@mayawilliamson492
@mayawilliamson492 5 күн бұрын
Women always leave emotionally before they do physically. She's childish af. Just leave her
@DC-gh6dy
@DC-gh6dy 5 күн бұрын
THIS
@JasonTaylor-po5xc
@JasonTaylor-po5xc 5 күн бұрын
At this point, she's just a roommate. She has also left physically too (intimacy).
@OtsuDC
@OtsuDC 5 күн бұрын
And using that against him- while acting like she isn’t doing that- is emotional manipulation. Seems she isn’t aware of how much this would hurt someone, or does not have the empathy to see it. Threatening to leave constantly is a hallmark of fearful avoidant attachment, but you can’t ever be sure with this level of information.
@noneya460
@noneya460 4 күн бұрын
He will get to a point when his fear doesn't affect him anymore. I got to that point. All the threats meant nothing, and I just spilled my guts. Then they looked at me and said "this doesn't work anymore" and they left. It was like a lightbulb. They meant their hold on me didn't work anymore. It messed me up, but after a lot of therapy, I got better. Sometimes you have to hit the floor to understand how to get up. The "she needs problems" is a good point. When people don't have things to do or overcome, they start creating situations for themselves to solve. A utopia can't last because people would create problems. It's the same in a relationship.
@tracy4291
@tracy4291 5 күн бұрын
She has no interest in being married to him. She just fears that doing it on her own would be too hard/impossible. He needs to decide what HE wants.
@Anna12000
@Anna12000 5 күн бұрын
Too hard to work probably
@AdamFontenet-h1x
@AdamFontenet-h1x 5 күн бұрын
@@tracy4291 No she's testing him to see if he's going to man up and put her in her place. Every woman does this. The guy is beyond failing at this. The wife is scared and doesn't feel protected.
@iCANT_BELIEVE_YOU_SAID_THAT
@iCANT_BELIEVE_YOU_SAID_THAT 5 күн бұрын
​@@AdamFontenet-h1x so she needs Cesar Millan to train her and her owner to be secure of herself.
@tracy4291
@tracy4291 4 күн бұрын
@@AdamFontenet-h1x you lost me with “put her in her place”. We’re not Neanderthals, dude. Nobody needs to be trying to put anybody “in their place”, and most women aren’t looking for anyone to “protect” them.
@Brit626
@Brit626 3 күн бұрын
@@AdamFontenet-h1x As a woman, I would never treat my spouse like this because it's gross and cruel. She's not scared or feels unprotected, she's emotionally manipulative and immature and is acting like this because she knows that he won't do anything about it and will reconfigure HIS world to fit hers.
@dianebalch5369
@dianebalch5369 2 күн бұрын
We had a surprise pregnancy after three kids. He was very frustrated when we learned we were (opps!) pregnant. He has passed away, but he absolutely adored his little girl. She gave him great joy!
@danielchitwood6515
@danielchitwood6515 5 күн бұрын
I would tell my wife the same thing everything evertime we had a argument. Im leaving. She told me if i ever say it again then leave. I haven't said it ever since.
@jamescash887
@jamescash887 5 күн бұрын
Can only threaten someone so much before they call your bluff
@mangoyacho
@mangoyacho 5 күн бұрын
🤣
@RobinSparkle2
@RobinSparkle2 2 күн бұрын
I appreciate your honesty not only with the internet, but also with yourself that you actually don't mean it.
@alexleggett6270
@alexleggett6270 5 күн бұрын
I was this guy 10 years ago. I have 3 kids and it was severely damaging them and myself staying in a relationship with a toxic woman I got out and my 3 kids live with me full time. I've seen myself, and my kids come back to life and find joy again and the amount of healing we experienced surprised all of us. He needs to get out of this relationship. I'm not sure why Dr John is suggesting setting up a getaway for them to talk things out when she cleanly isn't capable of doing so. An alternative idea would be to share stories of men like myself who have gotten out of a toxic relationship and have rebuilt our lives. Dr John doesn't have to say thats what he should do, but rather point to men who have left and healed themselves and their children.
@Girlgonewise
@Girlgonewise 5 күн бұрын
I’m a woman but I really wish men would not allow women to push them around like this. He is doing way too much for a woman who doesn’t want him. I don’t know why any man who works full time and had a stay at home mom/wife, had to do all these things when he gets home. What the hell does she do all day. I’m a home schooling mom, I could never let my husband come home to do chores. So unfair.
@futuremelina
@futuremelina 5 күн бұрын
He was raised to be a doormat, and she's taking full advantage of it
@hans1982
@hans1982 5 күн бұрын
@@futuremelinamany many women do
@Viennery
@Viennery 5 күн бұрын
They have kids together, and family courts are incredibly sexist and one sided against men. He know that if he divorces her, she will weaponize the children and possibly alienate them from him. Men will put up with abuse in order to not lose their children.
@KMRAND
@KMRAND 5 күн бұрын
Simp Simp Simp, she doesn’t respect him…
@georgianaaron4986
@georgianaaron4986 5 күн бұрын
Disagree. He should also contribute with household tasks, cooking and childcare when he gets off work. Not 50-50 but not nothing either. Holding a job is the bare minimum especially if there are small children in the home and no extended family to help.
@Austenfan177
@Austenfan177 4 күн бұрын
If she would divorce you over this, she shouldn't be your wife OR a mother... she is willing to break up the family of her children to get her way. A TERRIBLE mother. I knew a woman who did this (I didn't know her husband), and I told her I thought she needed therapy if she was willing to break up her family because she wanted a third childre (they JUST had a baby, and the first wasn't even two, and she was threatening to divorce him if they didn't start trying right away because she wanted three close together). She shut up right quick when others in our circle started telling her she needed therapy too and was a terrible mother for putting her wants above her childrens' intact family and the father's opinion too... he sounded MAXED OUT and couldn't handle more, and she didn't care. I don't know what happened after that, but us women told her straight that she was NOT going to have a line of men queuing up for her with two small kids and an ex and her demanding attitude, she was going to have to have a third with someone else and they would be half siblings, and she would probably be a single mother. I'm hoping she listened to us. This guy should honestly just get a vasectomy and pretend to keep trying, then divorce her once the youngest is 18. She isn't worth doing life with, so his sentence can end when the youngest is 18.
@robertclay5338
@robertclay5338 5 күн бұрын
Omg she’s sounds exhausting!!!
@carpediem6431
@carpediem6431 5 күн бұрын
👍 I like the famous saying “never let a spouse tell you more than once, they want a divorce.” Why stay when it’s “if I don’t get x, I want a divorce”. Over and over and over again. If this guy actually grabbed some self worth and told her it was over, dollars to doughnuts she’d throw the mother of ALL fits and manipulations. Crying, sobbing, begging, gaslighting- how can you do this to our family, to our children, what’s so sick inside you, you’re willing to break up a family. Yada yada yada.
@deannajan25
@deannajan25 4 күн бұрын
as does the stupid advice. Save the effort for the divorce.
@adamseidel8901
@adamseidel8901 5 күн бұрын
To threaten to leave a marriage over not having a third child when you already have two children who need and rely on you is one of the biggest insults to her kids and the covenants of family . And marriage. Especially when there are people out there who can’t even have one.
@Matrimonyncheese
@Matrimonyncheese 5 күн бұрын
My husband has a fear of people leaving him. Not something id ever weaponize bc that's simply cruel. If someone cares about you they wont pull stunts like that on you
@jamescash887
@jamescash887 5 күн бұрын
Your husband is a simp then. Under no circumstance should a woman ever have that much power over a man. Told my wife I love her but I don’t need her. I was brought into this world without her and will be fine if she ever wants to leave.
@lynnebucher6537
@lynnebucher6537 5 күн бұрын
My ex husband pulled a threat like that early in our marriage when he wanted me to do a large cash advance on my credit cards to (supposedly) do a short term cash flow fix for his business. Basically said it could irreparably damage our marriage if I didn't help in his time of need. He knew he had me over a barrel since we'd just closed on a mortgage and I'd have trouble paying bills on my salary alone. I should have dumped him then and moved in a roommate.
@Ceeurin
@Ceeurin 5 күн бұрын
Honestly let her leave and see how the dating pool is out here as a single mother.
@iamtiffanyinez
@iamtiffanyinez 5 күн бұрын
She will be fine if that’s the criteria
@Chet_24
@Chet_24 5 күн бұрын
​@@iamtiffanyinez She'll get hookups, but no relationship. Very few men want to date single mothers. She's in for a rude awakening.
@ts8024
@ts8024 5 күн бұрын
Being a single mother wouldn't even be the issue in her case. Her attitude is what will get in her way.
@elizabethgoodson9802
@elizabethgoodson9802 5 күн бұрын
😅 what makes you think she'll take the kids with her
@Age_Of_Aquarius84
@Age_Of_Aquarius84 5 күн бұрын
The dating pool is hell for everyone. I don't know anybody - single parent or not - who is enjoying being on the dating market.
@yukijadenfilms3425
@yukijadenfilms3425 5 күн бұрын
7:30 I love this beautiful fairy tale situation you always put together. In reality this man will say to his wife "Hey, so let's go get br-" and will be cut off and told to shut up and just be ignored.
@timmy1tap678
@timmy1tap678 4 күн бұрын
Yeah I mean if I was in his shoes?? So what if I still "love" her? She's horrible. I'd tell her go ahead and leave, knock yourself out. It's usually a HUGE problem when the guy is desperate for a woman and wants her way more than she wants him. This guy is terrified to stand on his own 2ft and terrified to not be with this one woman. He's weak, she's a b1tch, so what does it matter if they have yet ANOTHER chit chat
@audrajeanrussell8066
@audrajeanrussell8066 5 күн бұрын
Sometimes I really wonder about John's advice. In one sentence he's telling this poor guy, "your wife has already left you".....but then he turns around & says, 'give her boundaries' & that this, "will be your only hope of a path forward". HE JUST GOT THROUGH TELLING YOU THAT HIS WIFE IS MANIPULATIVE & AN EMOTIONAL TODDLER HOW, pray tell, is this going to go well for him?!?! His wife can't even answer simple 'yes or no' questions like, "Are you going to leave me?"......but now we expect her to be emotionally mature enough to have 4 separate mature & intense conversations over a 2 day period & to commit to respecting new boundaries??? As someone who grew up with emotionally immature parents, I can tell you that this is not going to work. All John's advice is likely to do is force this awful woman out the door. But instead of going through this whole charade (& giving this guy false hope)...why not just advise him to call her bluff point blank (in a mature way)??? "Honey, I want to work this out with you, but I can no longer live with the stress of your potential leaving hanging over my head. I want you to feel free to vocalize now whatever you need to vocalize & I'll listen...but by the end of this conversation, I need a definitive answer from you - are you going to leave me or not?" "And, just so we're clear on the front end, I need you to understand that if you choose to stay, I'm no longer going to allow things to continue as they are now. If you're staying, threats of leaving are not allowed. I want you to understand that, if you stay but then throw around the 'leaving me' threat/ultimatum again, I will be filing separation/divorce papers I hear you say it. I love you, but things can't go on this way. I need you to understand this situation has reached a breaking point & we both deserve to be happy instead of in a marriage we're either afraid of or don't want to be in." Something to that effect...
@therocinante3443
@therocinante3443 5 күн бұрын
Dang, your advice IS very nice, I say just file for divorce himself, and NEVER talk to her again unless it's directly about their kids.
@insaneconqueror5421
@insaneconqueror5421 5 күн бұрын
​@therocinante3443 The caller is a simp. He ain't gonna do nothin till she leaves.
@andianderson3017
@andianderson3017 5 күн бұрын
Therapists do not give recommendations or guidance based on what will go well or get someone to behave a certain way. You cannot in anyway control for that. He’s just giving a best path forward based on the reality at hand, if the guy is choosing to stay anyway (which he has every right to do as it is his life and his relationship, and the place from which this man is asking). Sometimes a best outcome is someone learning to live as well as possible with the terrible situation they chose. Sometimes it’s setting enough boundaries that the other person finally crosses enough boundaries and reveals themselves enough to finally blow up the relationship instead of leaving it in a state of decay forever. And sometimes, God willing it goes well-but that is never the guarantee or the goal of good therapy. The goal of therapy is that YOU can make your own choices well and stay in alignment of YOUR OWN values, and learn how to handle the fact that other people are going to do what they’re going to do, regardless of you.
@DadsRightsMatter1322
@DadsRightsMatter1322 5 күн бұрын
What John is given this guy is closure to the end of his marriage. If they do get a divorce. Like John said his wife is very immature. She may not realize the cause and effect of her words towards her husband. A two day getaway is a great idea because she may just be stressed out as well and not showing her emotions the best way possible and during the two day getaway and sharing all these emotions, they may rekindle a flame. They do have children together.
@ganymedehedgehog371
@ganymedehedgehog371 5 күн бұрын
John is a mixed bag because he consistently gives paths to live with extremely conscious cheating. When a spouse with a cheater calls he gaslights the caller to justify it. Zero tolerance and that’s that. Problem with therapy is that there’s no business if you solve the root cause and he’s been in that business.
@davidtaylor6772
@davidtaylor6772 5 күн бұрын
3:01 She has already left your marriage. She is just keeping you on the line until she finds another man. I would bet my paycheck.
@elizabethmanwaring3940
@elizabethmanwaring3940 5 күн бұрын
She may not be looking for another man, but I agree she is making plans to leave. It takes time to get money together, find a place, etc. Once women emotionally check out, they are already out the door.
@claudeyaz
@claudeyaz 4 күн бұрын
A younger child means more years of child support
@griftinggamer
@griftinggamer 4 күн бұрын
​@@elizabethmanwaring3940 Let's be honest. Finding a man before a woman leaves solves all those other headaches. That's why women almost always have a man lined up on the way out, often already intimate.
@Pocketful_o_Posies
@Pocketful_o_Posies 5 күн бұрын
No, I'm sorry John but this is toxic. My husband was in a relationship almost exactly like this. She kept threatening divorce and finally he left her. Then she threatened to call the cops and CPS on him because he married me and saying damaging lies, so we took her to mediation to fix the parental agreement. All she does is use threats as a way to scare him, so I told him he needs to do it (without the threats, silently attack her). He has pretty bad PTSD from his last marriage BECAUSE of this "toothless" threat you call it. This is damaging to his psyche, he needs to leave her because if every sit down she makes a threat about leaving him it's no longer a conversation with a middle ground, it's all accommodating to HER. He needs to leave, stop giving into this notion that every marriage can be salvaged. Again, he's been in this same predicament for YEARS it sounds like (granted with different topics and such).
@tonytoni1150
@tonytoni1150 5 күн бұрын
Oh really
@ErikkaCherry
@ErikkaCherry 5 күн бұрын
Please leave you don’t deserve this. How many years are you gonna go thru this. Life is to short.
@jillians5792
@jillians5792 5 күн бұрын
💯
@dalemcspadden943
@dalemcspadden943 2 күн бұрын
LEAVE HER, Learn to breathe and live again. Abuse is hard to see when your in the middle of it.
@shawnbrooks5293
@shawnbrooks5293 5 күн бұрын
He's being held hostage. He needs to tell her to leave and take back control of his life
@WNTAdventures
@WNTAdventures 2 күн бұрын
Rip the bandaid off! Go ahead and divorce her. It is going to happen anyway. I was in this same situation 32 years ago. I gave in to having the third child. Then it was 18 years of continued unhappiness until I decided life was too short and pulled the plug when our youngest turned 18. I’m very happily remarried to an amazing, loving woman and couldn’t be happier! Edit: I made this comment before I had heard the whole conversation! Your situation was EXACTLY what I was living. She did nothing, didn’t work, didn’t do household chores, just spent my damn money. I used the last 13 years to build my business which I just sold. Through that effort and being remarried to a smart, productive woman who shared my dreams we’ve retired as multi-millionaires. Do NOT waste your life! Hit the eject button now and rebuild. Whatever the divorce costs you financially will be the best money you ever spent! Take my heart felt word for it. My current wife and I fight over who gets to do the household chores to serve the other!!
@Nonya12608
@Nonya12608 5 күн бұрын
Bro. Put a deposit down on an apartment for her, rent a truck, move all of her stuff, and be done with it.
@BREEZYM6015
@BREEZYM6015 5 күн бұрын
Who's gonna pay the rent on her apartment? 😂
@JasonTaylor-po5xc
@JasonTaylor-po5xc 5 күн бұрын
@@BREEZYM6015 Ah, true. Most apartments require proof of 3x the rent in income. Who's income?
@williamfranklin6283
@williamfranklin6283 5 күн бұрын
​@@BREEZYM6015 He's going to pay her rent, her car, her groceries and child support.
@DudeSweet072
@DudeSweet072 4 күн бұрын
Straight up. Say bye then b!tch
@kiikachu
@kiikachu 4 күн бұрын
Homie, he’s most likely going to have to pay child support. :/ she sounds like she will come after him.
@robsgirl7778
@robsgirl7778 5 күн бұрын
When we got married my husband I both decided that the word divorce was not allowed in our marriage, we agreed that we would not bring that word up in a heat of the moment argument, we would not joke about it because it's not a joking matter. We don't joke about leaving or things like that. We chose to commit to each other not to live with a maybe for the next 60 yrs
@marksyoutube2244
@marksyoutube2244 5 күн бұрын
Once she loses respect for you, it's over.
@BenjaminCanales-nn9gi
@BenjaminCanales-nn9gi 5 күн бұрын
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
@HAMZAPINE
@HAMZAPINE 5 күн бұрын
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
@47151632
@47151632 5 күн бұрын
Yes Jefshroomies , I have a similar experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD, and addiction, and mushrooms have significantly contributed to my recovery and being clean today.
@carly102982
@carly102982 5 күн бұрын
I wish those were more easily accessible where I live. Microdosing was my next step for my husband. He's 59 & dealing with lots of mental health challenges, possible CTE & a TBI that put him in a coma for 8 days. Unfortunately, I had to get a TPO since he's 6'6, over 300 pounds, and showing violent behavior, constantly talking about harming others. He's aggressive. To anyone reading this, if you're familiar with BPD, is it common to have an obsession with violence?
@HAMZAPINE
@HAMZAPINE 5 күн бұрын
Does he have a website or is he on google/?
@47151632
@47151632 5 күн бұрын
Jefshroomies is the man
@rebeccaoprea9917
@rebeccaoprea9917 5 күн бұрын
Someone created this monster and he keeps feeding her. When you feed the monster, it grows, and when you starve it, it’s gets angry before it dies out.
@MrMonnTM
@MrMonnTM 4 күн бұрын
Sadly Dr.John keeps dancing around this. Instead of giving him a clear signal to leave her, he still keeps trying to save this. I keep noticing that Dr.John tries to be respectful in almost every interaction (also more hard on male cheaters than female, weird take on his part). Like in many cases it is already documented by studies that marriage would fail sooner or later. As an example: If partner cheated - they are more likely than not will cheat again. If someone offered open marriage - they already cheated and it's already known that open marriages are short term life supports. Instead of giving real life advices he keeps dancing around and giving hope on situations that similar to lottery.
@Ian-fb6er
@Ian-fb6er 4 күн бұрын
Assuming she's a sweet person normally and not just a bad human being, she might just be doing this because she is hurt and she wants you to feel that way too. She doesn't care how immature or mean it is, she just wants you to feel how she does. That doesn't make it ok but it's more common than you think
@naomimay82
@naomimay82 5 күн бұрын
I wanted 3 kids. My husband wanted 2. We had 2 children. Why? Because I respected my husband and was opposed to tricking or coercing the man I love into a third child. That only results in resentment. Resentment does not foster a happy/healthy marriage. We discussed it. He had his reasons. I respected those reasons. End of discussion. We have had a wonderful and happy life with the two children that we had; they are now grown and soon we will be empty nesters. And we will have a wonderful and happy life just the two of us because we built our relationship on love and respect.
@lynnebucher6537
@lynnebucher6537 5 күн бұрын
And that's the healthy way to handle it!
@kgormankmhb
@kgormankmhb 5 күн бұрын
He didn’t respect you enough to give you the most precious gift. I think he is selfish
@Milkymommy09
@Milkymommy09 5 күн бұрын
Did he not respect you? Did you not have your reasons?
@kgormankmhb
@kgormankmhb 5 күн бұрын
@@Milkymommy09 his reasons were more important than hers, apparently
@naomimay82
@naomimay82 5 күн бұрын
@@Milkymommy09 Bringing a child into the world is a huge deal and BOTH the husband and the wife should be in agreement before doing so. Major decisions that impact the family should be agreed upon. Always. I don’t fall for the nonsense that my husband doesn’t respect me just because he doesn’t give me everything I want when I want it. He adores me and showers me with affection. If I was the kind of woman who was manipulative and selfishly demanding everything always be my way, I guarantee that I would not have the amazing and happy marriage that I have today.
@shawnwilcox6913
@shawnwilcox6913 3 күн бұрын
My ex-wife threatened to leave me one time. I told her that would be the one and only time she’ll ever threaten me to leave the next time she won’t get the right result.. 18 months later she threaten to leave me again. I went to a divorce attorney and file for divorce never look back. To this day 15 years later, she still reaches out to see how I’m doing
@MrsRobinson398
@MrsRobinson398 5 күн бұрын
I’d show her the door and say don’t let the door hit you on the way out
@patriciajoy23
@patriciajoy23 5 күн бұрын
😂😂 that’s a good one.
@lindapowers8592
@lindapowers8592 2 күн бұрын
Emotional blackmail period!
@gmoney1089
@gmoney1089 5 күн бұрын
He’s taught her over the years to pout to get what she wants, and if she doesn’t succeed to just keep pouting and he’ll eventually cave…
@keishapuryear8180
@keishapuryear8180 5 күн бұрын
This is the perfect situation to have both of them on the phone. She says she doesn't want to celebrate anniversary because they "have all of these problems" signals to me. There's much more going on than he's shared. I'm in the middle of divorce from my "independently verified" narcissist husband. He sounds a lot like this guy whenever he talks about our marriage to people who don't know and haven't been around us. He does everything and pays for everything and I won't give him affection. All are lies. We both worked and paid bills, there were years (at (least 6)that I carried the largest bills. Yet I was primarily responsible for the kids, cooking, cleaning, holidays, extra curricular, etc etc etc. Both sides are needed here
@starboard10
@starboard10 3 күн бұрын
I agree with you. I want to hear the wife's side. His story sounds far fetched to me.
@TIGGER-ALERT
@TIGGER-ALERT 5 күн бұрын
She has "checked out." The marriage is over already. She doesn't respect him.
@shadez7650
@shadez7650 Күн бұрын
It is psychological abuse to try and get her way... I had to deal with that bs with my ex. He needs to assert himself and layout the boundaries. My advice is for him to get a pitbull lawyer, draw up divorce papers and then drop it on her and tell her that if she doesn't stop acting like a teenager in high school, then you are filing. It leaves her a binary option. It will shut her up really quick and it will give her two options... get on the program you are laying out or GTFO. She now has to weigh all the options. Make sure it is binary, because it shows her you aren't playing the games anymore and you aren't accepting or tolerating that adolescent behavior.
@iamtiffanyinez
@iamtiffanyinez 5 күн бұрын
Having a kid is a joint venture if one of the partners isn’t interested then no deal. They are probably done.
@BloodSweatandFears
@BloodSweatandFears 5 күн бұрын
Exactly, it’s not right to force someone into creating a child. That’s not a good way to start making and creating another life. My cousins wife tried to guilt and bribe him into having another baby and eventually he caved. They got divorced before the baby was even born, now little one has to deal with their nonsense.
@christianakungu6344
@christianakungu6344 5 күн бұрын
@@BloodSweatandFearsyall should def watch his original video back in like oct. his wife was telling him she’d “have a baby w someone else” and complained even though he did EVERYTHING for her. He isn’t interested because she’s a horrible partner and spreading him thin.
@BloodSweatandFears
@BloodSweatandFears 5 күн бұрын
@@christianakungu6344 Dang that’s awful and so manipulative!
@kgormankmhb
@kgormankmhb 5 күн бұрын
If my husband said we couldn’t have a baby, I think I’d hate him. Not deliberately but it would cause such a big problem that I have no idea what I’d do. Kids are pretty much my whole life and to be told I can’t have one would be horrible. I don’t know if I could love someone that couldn’t make it happen. It’s a 3rd baby, not a 10th baby.
@kgormankmhb
@kgormankmhb 5 күн бұрын
@@BloodSweatandFearshe’s forcing her to go without a child she desperately wants. That will cause divorce too unfortunately
@barrettanderson2781
@barrettanderson2781 5 күн бұрын
This is the tyranny of a gyno centric society. My first wife did this when I was in the military. She would threaten to leave all the time. I bought her a plane ticket and packed her suitcase. The next time she threatened it, I just brought out the suitcase and ticket and set it in the living room floor. She got really mad and we had a blowout fight, but she never threatened leaving again.
@davidtaylor6772
@davidtaylor6772 5 күн бұрын
2:11 The reason he has been able to sleep is that deep down he knows his marriage is over. He knows there will be a divorce already.
@caitlincassandra
@caitlincassandra 5 күн бұрын
Or because he's so used to it he has adapted to be able to function at a bare minimum level because it's not possible to not sleep for years on end which is how long his marriage has been deteriorating.
@jamescash887
@jamescash887 5 күн бұрын
Dude is a simp.
@jentinanaude2659
@jentinanaude2659 4 күн бұрын
You will never regret another child
@lunam7249
@lunam7249 4 сағат бұрын
correct, but in USA thier very expensive
@mele1617
@mele1617 5 күн бұрын
She is using this as a weapon she knows what she is doing and it needs to stop...
@saeedhossain6099
@saeedhossain6099 5 күн бұрын
8:20 john is so cute assuming that the caller is dealing with an honest actor
@ODrane
@ODrane 5 күн бұрын
As a counselor, or in his case, a radio host relationship advisor, your job is to assume honesty. He has to always stand on belief, unless he is given indication that they are being dishonest. And this caller didn't give much indication of deceit.
@saeedhossain6099
@saeedhossain6099 4 күн бұрын
@ODrane given the callers wife is making threats, issuing ultimatums and acting like a hostage taker, then pretending like they didn't do anything, yeah the callers spouse is a dishonest person. as for the caller himself, I'm giving the benefit of the doubt, but I've found immaculate victims rarely make reliable narrators.
@tys5650
@tys5650 4 күн бұрын
By cute do you mean he gives fucking horrible advice?
@Max_G43
@Max_G43 4 күн бұрын
Yeah exactly made me laugh
@knill1494
@knill1494 5 күн бұрын
3:23 If the affection is gone, she's done, she's gonna leave.
@propellerjfk
@propellerjfk 5 күн бұрын
Reminds of my girlfriend. Every time I say NO, she changes to a different person, acts almost like a child.
@sds6303
@sds6303 5 күн бұрын
Yeah she is a very toxic person, very entitled & immature. He should leave & let this divorce happen. He is holding on to hope thinking he can save her & she doesn’t want to be saved. Her attitude is to throw a tantrum & bail if she doesn’t get what she wants. Dr. John I think you missed the mark here. There is no negotiation with an emotionally immature person who has little to no insight into her behavior. She is emotionally abusive, she knows what she’s doing by using his fear of abandonment against him. She has power over him. There is no compromise with this type of personality pathology.
@FaithFallRepentGraceRepeat
@FaithFallRepentGraceRepeat 5 күн бұрын
She’s not just emotionally immature; that’s giving her too much credit. She’s manipulative. There’s no way a hard working man should be tolerating that abuse from that leech. She’s not even a wife because she’s not a helpmate.
@alexthelion7466
@alexthelion7466 5 күн бұрын
On motherfuckin god brother
@sonicmoj1
@sonicmoj1 5 күн бұрын
Exactly. He needs to respect himself and drop this sh*t! Excuse my language. No tolerance for this crap!! When you take your power back, she will feel the power shift.
@lavienestpasunlongfleuvetr2559
@lavienestpasunlongfleuvetr2559 5 күн бұрын
She would be a nightmare to divorce though.
@sonicmoj1
@sonicmoj1 5 күн бұрын
@ She would but short term pain for long term gain..
@mammamathews
@mammamathews 4 күн бұрын
I don’t feel like he is telling the whole truth. She said she wanted to talk about things and you didn’t want to talk.
@mightymouse1005
@mightymouse1005 5 күн бұрын
The last thing a bad relationship needs is children or more children
@claudeyaz
@claudeyaz 4 күн бұрын
A younger child means more years of child support
@lunam7249
@lunam7249 4 сағат бұрын
clever clever you are !! says yoda😊
@prudencek7087
@prudencek7087 5 күн бұрын
My first thought as I heard this caller, before Dr. John said anything was... "This man is married to a child." The fact that he told her that he's afraid she'll leave and she keeps using it as a weapon against him, just shows how immature she is. I think Dr. John is off on this one. This woman isn't going anywhere, he should call her bluff next time she says she's leaving and watch how quickly she will backtrack. I experienced this with my husband when we first got married, every disagreement, minor or major he would say he's leaving, especially when he didn't get his way; When I got tired of his threats and called his bluff and said you're going to leave? Okay! And he knew I was serious, he backtracked very quickly and admitted that it was an empty threat. He admitted that he just didn't know how to properly communicate and that was his go to answer for everything; I guess he thought that I would beg him to stay and do everything he wanted in order for him not to leave. I told him straight up..."sir... I'm NOT afraid of losing you; yes I love you and I want our marriage to work, however, if you leave, yes, I'll be heart-broken, but I will eventually get over it and move on, so don't think your leaving will destroy me." We had a serious conversation, and I told him if he ever made empty threats to leave again because of a disagreement that can be worked through, that I will take him seriously and I will help him pack; it's been almost 24 years and he's never done it again. We both worked on communicating like adults, and talking things through rather than being childish and throwing juvenile threats around. This caller's wife seemed to have gotten her way when she stomped her little feet as a child and threw tantrums or she saw one of her parents do that and she expects that it should work in her marriage and her husband had been enabling her. Sir, set some boundaries and stick to them like Dr. John said, your wife will have to learn that you're also a person, with wants and needs and your world doesn't revolve around her, and your marriage isn't for you to be in service to her continually, but it's a relationship of give and take and mutual love and respect.
@mandandi
@mandandi 2 күн бұрын
Yeah, call their bluff. However, you do that when you have good self-esteem. This guys does not have good self-esteem. He is afraid to live without that woman.
@prudencek7087
@prudencek7087 2 күн бұрын
@@mandandi sad, but very true.
@andreapazmino-pace3254
@andreapazmino-pace3254 4 күн бұрын
Next time she says she is leaving, pick up her luggage, put it in the front door, and say "goodbye" ...", Are you leaving cause if you don't ... I am" end of the story. Life is way too short to waste it on situations that make you unhappy.
@theworkingmanpodcast
@theworkingmanpodcast 5 күн бұрын
She doesn’t want to be the bad guy that’s why she’s still there. She’s waiting on him to pull the pin on the relationship grenade…
@mistermanman
@mistermanman 5 күн бұрын
I don't even think it's that. She knows she can control him and she's taking full advantage of it until she gets what she wants.
@oldgeezer2780
@oldgeezer2780 5 күн бұрын
Agree. She wants to be the one rejected so she can tell everyone HE wanted to end it.
@Escobardiablo
@Escobardiablo 4 күн бұрын
@@mistermanmanshe literally wants to leave him…… it’s very obvious
@mistermanman
@mistermanman 4 күн бұрын
@@Escobardiablo I really don't think she does lol trust me, women leave when they are ready to leave. It's men who stay in relationships they don't want to be in.
@MrMonnTM
@MrMonnTM 4 күн бұрын
@@mistermanman Dead wrong mister. I had some girl friends who were preparing to leave their guys. Example: She wanted to leave but couldn't(financial couldn't affort separate apartments), what she did? During 1-2 years was seeking for a new guy, found a new guy, made it so that her current boyfriend broke up with her (basically acted toxic). In the end he broke up with her (grew pissed and basically ignored or blocked her), that way ex-boyfriend won't mess with her when she will find a new guy in essence he will say "good riddance". During last 3-6 months she was basically dating 2 guys. Being toxic and annoying towards her at that moment current partner and all sweet and loving towards new boyfriend. When the new boyfriend was ready to move in with her she escalated toxicity. Remember women are perfect social chess players unlike men.
@islandgirlcy
@islandgirlcy 5 күн бұрын
Send him my way I will never leave him😂😂
@lynnebucher6537
@lynnebucher6537 5 күн бұрын
I know I was sitting here thinking gee I wish I had met a nice man like him when I was younger. I would never treat someone the way this woman is treating him.
@antonglas7488
@antonglas7488 5 күн бұрын
Devin is a wimp. He should confront his wife and ask her, does she want to stay or leave and insist on an answer. If his wife says she wants to leave then let her go. Place the ball in her court.
@baxeto
@baxeto 5 күн бұрын
I wanna know why this guy wants to stay. Baffling.
@animatedaries6806
@animatedaries6806 5 күн бұрын
Yea sadly he has no respect in his home and she has just made sure to diminish any thing else. Hearing him no matter what he says he isn’t going to leave her. Ugh he needs to grow some confidence & stand up. As you stated. Leave or stay but I’m done with back and forth.
@arfriedman4577
@arfriedman4577 5 күн бұрын
Great advice. He needs to leave. Shes not changing.
@sc630
@sc630 5 күн бұрын
Calling him a wimp is just rude and was unnecessary. You could have left that completely out of your message. It makes you sound like an angry person.
@insaneconqueror5421
@insaneconqueror5421 5 күн бұрын
​@@baxetoHe's a complete simp.
@myprettypie
@myprettypie 5 күн бұрын
Toxic partner: threatens to leave. Me: "why are you threatening me with a good time?"
@ts8024
@ts8024 5 күн бұрын
I wonder why hes so afraid of her leaving? That marriage sounds exhausting and unfulfilling. He needs to just go ahead and file for divorce and custody of the kids.
@SaltyArmySarg
@SaltyArmySarg 5 күн бұрын
Because he loves her. Because he married her. Because he has been building a life with her, and he MEANT it! Not to mention, over 80% of divorces are initiated by women and men get COMPLETELY screwed blue in divorce/family court, I'd be terrified as well if I were him. She could literally turn his world upside down. Modern women are diabolical. So glad I'm old. I grew up old school, traditional. I have none of these problems in my marriage. We r a team! He works hard, and comes home to a clean home, dinner cooking. I do the yard work, I take out the trash. The only thing my husband does to help out here is what he wants to do, what he feels like doing, and I'm fine with that. He works sooo hard, his job is so demanding, my job is to make life outside work as good as it can be. This formula has allowed my husband to soar to heights we never thot possible! He recently was promoted to VP. He has so much on his plate already, I couldn't imagine him coming home to me behaving like a toddler. Grown men don't have time for this.
@ts8024
@ts8024 5 күн бұрын
@SaltyArmySarg you just highlighted all the reasons why I asked the question. He works to take care of himself and his family, comes home to do housework, and to show her appreciation, she threatens to leave him, knowing that's his biggest fear. It doesn't seem like she is the prize in the relationship. There are plenty of women out there who would appreciate and love a hard-working man who isn't going to give up easily. Should he stay in a miserable marriage simply because he loves her and chose to marry her? People change, and people deserve to be happy. This is the second time he's calling for advice, and prior to that, he made attempts to work through their issues. At some point, you have to acknowledge what is happening and make decisions based on that. So with the way that he's being treated, why is he still afraid of her leaving? From what he said, she doesn't seem interested in the marriage or repairing it. One of them need to file so he can grieve and move on to eventually find someone more compatible. No one should be forced to stay in a miserable relationship.
@Duchess_Bananabread
@Duchess_Bananabread 5 күн бұрын
​@SaltyArmySarg 70%, friend. That's still a high number, but let's be honest, okay.? And the idea that men are screwed blue in divorce court is a Red Pill/Manosphere internet myth that keeps getting recycled.
@gryffinberner
@gryffinberner 5 күн бұрын
If I recall correctly he had his parents divorce and didn’t want to do that to his kids
@lottoo5693
@lottoo5693 5 күн бұрын
Bcs men are more likely to be faithful to their vowes
@hivisboys
@hivisboys 5 күн бұрын
Women like this love the challenge of this guy finally trying to set boundaries. This will be very fun and entertaining for her!
@JesseGraham-l9s
@JesseGraham-l9s 5 күн бұрын
I wouldn't expect her to stay around brotherman. She's begging for an emotional affair so that she doesn't have to take responsibility and she can blame it on you for being inadequate to her expectations. She just hasn't found the next guy to monkey branch to, yet.
@JohnSmith-qq9jp
@JohnSmith-qq9jp 5 күн бұрын
John gave him a good suggestion to try, but my guess is that she just won't participate because as John said, she has checked out of everything. If she does participate, she won't follow through on anything. This guy needs to get his ducks in a row by going to a divorce attorney to discuss what his options are and how things will most likely play out. Then he needs to get the attorney to draft a separation agreement that he can take back and either give to her immediately or bring out the next time she threatens to leave. Either way, he needs to force the issue with her so he can get on with his life and not have to deal with this nonsense on a daily basis. What this man SHOULD have done the first time his wife tried this is call her on it...this means that if she said she was thinking about leaving, take her seriously, discuss the issues and then if she is serious, bring home a separation agreement. He said she has been doing this to him for YEARS, which is completely unacceptable. Anyone that holds their relationship over their partner's head to control or punish them does not deserve to be in a relationship. If you are being manipulated like this, get out of that relationship because it will never get any better.
@MrTmenzo
@MrTmenzo 5 күн бұрын
Its very common for women to wait until the right time to leave as well.
@Zyrean7007
@Zyrean7007 5 күн бұрын
And it's very common for men to pick any time to leave. See, I can make unsubstantiated general claims too.
@lottoo5693
@lottoo5693 5 күн бұрын
​@@Zyrean7007statistics dont support ur claim while OPs does
@Zyrean7007
@Zyrean7007 4 күн бұрын
@@lottoo5693 statistics! LOL . Do share! I wanna see this data you speak of too.
@davidw.5185
@davidw.5185 Күн бұрын
She will leave at some point. When she does she will make things very nasty. Hide cash bro. Have a back up plan. You can stay together for the kids, but you are on borrowed time. Don't get caught flat footed.
@FaithFallRepentGraceRepeat
@FaithFallRepentGraceRepeat 5 күн бұрын
6:48 How manipulative & cruel! Knowing someone’s fear & using it against you is evil. AND you’re doing most of the work around the house?! Who does she think she is? Man up & call her bluff! Nobody wants a lazy, manipulative, abusive partner. You deserve better!
@powers6253
@powers6253 5 күн бұрын
Making people responsible for your needs is a bad set up. If she is insecure and empathetic, she'll feel resentful that he begs her to stay.
@a_noelles
@a_noelles 4 күн бұрын
Yep. It's emotional abuse. Folks don't want to call it what it is. He needs to file for divorce.
@kyleegarcia5569
@kyleegarcia5569 5 күн бұрын
Amen to clear and direct communication!!
@Bane9900
@Bane9900 5 күн бұрын
This guy needs to confront his fear of her leaving him. I don't think she put that fear there. She probably has learned she can use it to get her way, but ultimately he's the one letting her have that power over him. Take control and don't be such a nice guy.
@amarie6223
@amarie6223 5 күн бұрын
Agree!
@stoverboo
@stoverboo 3 күн бұрын
Given the way this man talks about his wife (devious, gaslighting, using a weapon against him, punishing him, holding a threat over his head), this relationship is unhealthy if not entirely over. He needs to pull the plug.
@CarlosMiro-j3g
@CarlosMiro-j3g 3 күн бұрын
Right, time to get a divorce lawyer and sort out assets, child custody, etc. There is no point in beting a dead horse.
@judithnik
@judithnik 5 күн бұрын
Kick her out. She needs to learn how it is to be by herself. You’ve let her go on for too long
@isay207
@isay207 5 күн бұрын
Exactly she may find out its not so easy she may have more appreciation for him
@Bebopvicious00
@Bebopvicious00 Күн бұрын
My first girlfriend did the exact same thing.."Maybe we should break up". After every disagreement. Told my wife when i met her, if you ever say those words to me again then we will be done.
@KateK-yx3fq
@KateK-yx3fq 5 күн бұрын
If she treats her husband like this does she also parent this way? I can’t help but think those kids are picking up on the vibes in their home and feel like moms love for them is also very transactional.
@JonnM
@JonnM 2 күн бұрын
I have a lot of empathy for this guy, but he needs to grow a spine. He does sound as if he dearly loves his wife, but she clearly does not love him. He needs to find out, once and for all, if his marriage if over. If that happens, it’ll be dreadfully sad and painful, not just for him, but for everyone. He needs to be a stronger man.
@Openingtheshadow
@Openingtheshadow 5 күн бұрын
My mom hides stuff from my siblings and watches them and laughs while they look for it and steals their money and when they call her out she gaslights them.
@amarie6223
@amarie6223 5 күн бұрын
Wow 😢.
@Sunsetsnail99
@Sunsetsnail99 5 күн бұрын
Yo that is wild. She’s really ill that’s a shame. I hope they get away soon. I’m really sorry.
@cuivre2004
@cuivre2004 5 күн бұрын
Do it back....
@TIGGER-ALERT
@TIGGER-ALERT 5 күн бұрын
She has a personality disorder.
@simoneaustin8076
@simoneaustin8076 5 күн бұрын
oh she’s toxic save up money from now so that you can move out
@EmilyOutdoors
@EmilyOutdoors 5 күн бұрын
She loves this hypothetical child more than she loves her husband and current family dynamic.
@xkovacsx09
@xkovacsx09 5 күн бұрын
Next time she threatens to leave, hold her to it.
@beauteoussounds1156
@beauteoussounds1156 Күн бұрын
Words should have consequences!
@alexisjankowski3281
@alexisjankowski3281 3 күн бұрын
This woman better realize the kind of gem of a man she really has…
@VelvetyMoon
@VelvetyMoon 3 күн бұрын
Yes! So many women would do anything for a man like this if he is how he really portrays himself.
@scottfree7549
@scottfree7549 5 күн бұрын
He is in denial, I went through this for 3 years and it ended in divorce. For anyone willing to use divorce as a threat you are a narcissist
@mightymouse1005
@mightymouse1005 5 күн бұрын
Especially demanding more kids or I'll divorce. .
@drea4195
@drea4195 4 күн бұрын
Thank you for saying this. It happened to me as well, years of walking on eggshells because he kept dangling the D word over my head. And he is definitely a narcissist.
@majorleagueintroductions1875
@majorleagueintroductions1875 5 күн бұрын
Seeing this situation from only one perspective I can’t help but want to play devils advocate. I think she doesn’t know how to process how she is feeling. Imagine having a picture of what you want for your life and the person you signed up life with says yeah no I don’t want that . She could leave but then she is signing her children up for a split family . Maybe she doesn’t know what she is feeling and the words come out I don’t know if I can do this . Devin seems to be the one in control . He didn’t fear her leaving to the point where he was okay telling her no . If he thinks she is the monster manipulating him why is he still there? He wants to punish her for not feeling intimate towards him. Dude it’s been 3 months why haven’t you insisted on therapy to see if things can be improved. Instead he chooses to paint her in this light and he is the victim of her viscous retaliation. Maybe if you could choose to give her grace instead of assuming it’s payback . It might be difficult for a woman to reconcile that she is not ever going to be a new mother again . Feel the baby kick and all the glow as well as the emotional roller coaster a newborn can bring . That is an adjustment for a lot of women . Dealing with what it means to be a woman now that part of your identity is shifting. I usually agree with you dr. John but I felt you were a bit more harsh and one sided .
@bhquilter
@bhquilter 5 күн бұрын
How many new babies does it take for her to start respecting her husband?
@JP-lu9ed
@JP-lu9ed 5 күн бұрын
Interesting perspective. It also gets at the point of people being ambivalent at various points in life. She may neither feel all in or all out but trying to sort it out. Both seem to have a propensity to try to figure it out by themselves rather than talk directly and fully with each other or get some good therapy - together or separately.
@flashthecorgi2053
@flashthecorgi2053 5 күн бұрын
PSA: If anybody wants to watch the FIRST call with Devin. The title is “Wife said give me a baby or I’m gone” Sept 18th, 2024!
@christinetilton4562
@christinetilton4562 2 күн бұрын
Wow. That’s abusive behavior. She needs to grow up.
@ytsejamisme
@ytsejamisme 5 күн бұрын
I can think of two healthy rules in a marriage/committed relationship: 1) cheating is an immediate end no questions asked and, 2) ultimatums (of any kind) are also the end of the relationship. In order for a relationship to get the ultimatum stage, many bad things have to happen including lack of clear and proper communication and it shows that fundamental values are incompatible. It isn't right that someone can hold a gun to your head and demand that you do what they say - that's not a part of a healthy relationship.
@katl8147
@katl8147 5 күн бұрын
Why not get her in the call, too? I bet there’s much more to it than he is willing to admit.
@ecase727
@ecase727 5 күн бұрын
This is exhausting, let her go and don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
@shaniamontara8057
@shaniamontara8057 5 күн бұрын
He’s not being honest 😂😂 he said « this vison you had for your life » so they talked about this before they got married and he has now changed his lind
@theanabolicviking
@theanabolicviking 3 күн бұрын
You never tell a woman who uses everything as a weapon what your deepest fears are. Then you must reach a point where you're not afraid to lose her!
@AnnAndNala
@AnnAndNala 5 күн бұрын
IMO, call her bluff and divorce her already. What she's doing is not love, it's control. Love and control cannot co-exist. Period.
@snteag
@snteag 5 күн бұрын
I think he should tell her he doesn't want a divorce but if that's what she wants ok. If that's not what she wants, he needs to tell her never to threaten him with that again. If she does threaten him again, he should be ready to walk. I had a friend that kept threatening her husband, he finally said ok and left. She regretted it. He remarried later on and lived happily ever after.
@lynnebucher6537
@lynnebucher6537 5 күн бұрын
I had a live-in fiancee who kept doing it. My way or the highway he would say. One day I took him up on it and moved out while he was at work. For some stupid reason he was surprised.
@mewgiah8057
@mewgiah8057 5 күн бұрын
At this point I think Delony should have told him to sit down with her and have the “turn the music off and turn the lights on” conversation again. And this time he needs to specifically outline his needs. And if she says no to them or refuses to give an answer - then he needs to be the adult and leave the relationship. Call it. The marriage is basically him being held hostage by a person who doesn’t care about his wants and needs. And instead of sticking up for himself he just continues to be miserable. These conversations are supposed to be important because BOTH partners get to speak up about what they want and need. Maybe for the wife the third child is what she needs. And that is fine. Maybe both of them can no longer give what the other needs - and it’s time to call it. Assuming the caller is telling the truth tho, the wife seems incredibly immature & possibly abusive. Weaponizing your partners biggest fear to bully them into submission is crazy. Constantly threatening to leave your partner unless they give you what you want is not love.
@jordesporde6102
@jordesporde6102 5 күн бұрын
Yeah, she is not considerate which is necessary and should be required in every relationship
@Mia1827
@Mia1827 5 күн бұрын
Amazing video A month ago, my relationship of five years came to an end. The choice to break up with the person I love is something that really gets to me. Even though it's all for nothing, l've done everything I can to get him back, and I couldn't imagine my existence without him. I've tried everything to stop thinking about him, but I still can't help but miss him and think about him often. I don't know why l am saying this here.
@vivianMarvin-z6k
@vivianMarvin-z6k 5 күн бұрын
Since my 12-year relationship ended, I know how hard it is to say goodbye to someone you love. But I couldn't just let him go, so l did everything i could to win him back. I finally went to a spiritual counsellor for guidance, and he helped me win back his love.
@Mia1827
@Mia1827 5 күн бұрын
It's fascinating! How did you locate a spiritual counsellor and how can I get in touch with one most effectively?
@vivianMarvin-z6k
@vivianMarvin-z6k 5 күн бұрын
Father Obah Eze is a wonderful spiritual counselor who has the ability to bring back your ex.
@vivianMarvin-z6k
@vivianMarvin-z6k 5 күн бұрын
He can assist you; he is Father Obah Eze, and he possesses immense powers and he's the best spell caster to ever live
@Mia1827
@Mia1827 5 күн бұрын
Thank you for sharing this valuable insight. I just looked him up, and I'm genuinely impressed.
My Fiancée Left Me After I Lied
17:02
The Dr. John Delony Show
Рет қаралды 74 М.
I’m Not My Husband’s Life Insurance Beneficiary!
16:06
The Dr. John Delony Show
Рет қаралды 299 М.
人是不能做到吗?#火影忍者 #家人  #佐助
00:20
火影忍者一家
Рет қаралды 20 МЛН
She made herself an ear of corn from his marmalade candies🌽🌽🌽
00:38
Valja & Maxim Family
Рет қаралды 18 МЛН
Enceinte et en Bazard: Les Chroniques du Nettoyage ! 🚽✨
00:21
Two More French
Рет қаралды 42 МЛН
Where I am now
23:47
The Minimal Mom
Рет қаралды 409 М.
My Wife Is Done With Our Marriage But Won't Leave!
9:19
The Ramsey Show Highlights
Рет қаралды 520 М.
My Husband Won’t Get a Real Job and I Do All the Work
20:04
The Dr. John Delony Show
Рет қаралды 62 М.
My Wife Had an Affair With My Best Man
18:18
The Dr. John Delony Show
Рет қаралды 704 М.
Done What I Can: Divorce Court - William vs. Linwood
19:05
Divorce Court
Рет қаралды 3,9 М.
I’m Married to a Miserable Man
21:37
The Dr. John Delony Show
Рет қаралды 111 М.
I Cheated With My Wife’s Stepmom (Is My Marriage Over?)
17:28
The Dr. John Delony Show
Рет қаралды 442 М.
人是不能做到吗?#火影忍者 #家人  #佐助
00:20
火影忍者一家
Рет қаралды 20 МЛН