I was Disappointed in God and Lost My Faith with Jason Gray

In this video, Jason Gray shares his story of how he lost faith in God. He talks about what led him to the place where he felt abandoned by God and why it was difficult for him to regain faith after that point.
If you're wrestling with your faith there is help and hope at joyfmonline.org/faith.

[@reneecrotty6910]

people don't realise how painful this experience is.

[@clayton4917]

It's the worst. Ready for it to be over.

[@jessicabishop2876]

For real. Currently going through it.

[@empressatheism5146]

shut up drama queen

[@shespeaks2441]

I've believed in God all of the days of my life but I've lost my faith to a great degree. I'm tired of the constant pain, loss and suffering. I don't even have a real prayer life anymore. I don't want to talk to God because it doesn't matter because He is going to let things happen to good people. Everyday I wonder when I open my eyes what new tragedy awaits me.

[@Jay-zx5hx]

I still believe but I feel so faithless and indifferent to God. Life is unbearable for me at times.

[@charlesstrauss1713]

Psalm 13 Psalm 28 Psalm 37 Psalm 107 Matthew 5:3-16

[@Brizzo_-nq3zi]

This last year within a three month period I lost my father, my wife had an affair on me and my cancer became very severe when I caught covid. It’s hard to hold faith in the darkest of times. It confusing to think about why god allows these things to happen. It’s the hardest chapter of my life as I am only 23 years old. I have to just continue to pray and live the best life I can.

[@erikmiller2514]

Brizzo, I’m so sorry for your losses. I’m praying for you.

[@timothyweakly2496]

Good grief.

[@adamrocks19]

I’m very sorry all this happened to you. I hope your circumstances change for the better.

[@kingdomthings9887]

BIG HUGS 🤗. I'm praying for you.

[@everlastingc1134]

🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@MeronMelese-nk1sg]

I feel abandoned by GOD.🙁

[@blandpaintings3701]

Me too

[@lakishaford2173]

Me too

[@user-lh4vx5mf6j]

You are not abandoned by God my friends❤. Remember what God said in Hebrews 13:5?

[@user-lh4vx5mf6j]

Don't love money; be satisfied with what you have. For God has said, “I will never fail you. I will never abandon you. God keeps His promises

[@oney375]

You’re not the only one

[@barbarasparks3419]

I am more miserable waiting for God to show up then I was before I was saved and I wonder what’s the point of having faith

[@m.c3593]

I feel exactly the same way. My life was easy and I had a positive view on life. Thank you for sharing I know it's not only me. 🧡👍

[@vahgeuvje10]

Lol before I was saved everything was just so much easier, positive, almost like it was handed to me on a platter. After I was saved the exact opposite became true.

[@DoraCengic-oz5uq]

God will restore you, God will give back what the enemy has taken from you , God will give you the joy you disire and deserve! I will pray for you, but i know for a fact that he will deliver you! there is nothing you can do or say to change the gifts that God has written for your life.

[@serdlc64]

Just think of what He did for us and how traumatic it was for Him. He made it. We will too although not fun sometimes. There are health problems with a few of my kids that just make me want to go away, but I think of them and how strong they are and I’m so weak and they give me strength ( although Yah does). I just pray for them to come to know the truth first and foremost. He says endure till the end and THEN you will be saved and already warned us that we will have tribulation. I don’t look on the “ easier times” before , because I now know where I was headed , although the world looked at me as good. We need to look forward and not look back at the easier.🤷‍♀️

[@vahgeuvje10]

@@serdlc64 God is so good. He always provides. I think a lot of us are struggling with the fact it's ALL IN HIS TIME, not ours. But God knows the perfect time for everything. We who are struggling just need to be patient, a fruit of the Holy Spirit in Christ.

[@DivinePurpose838]

I am losing my faith right now because before I got saved, I was alot happier. I was a free spirit who was generally a happy person. Once I got saved, Ive gone through so much spiritual warfare and there is just alot of restrictions on my life I feel like once I got saved. Can't listen to specific music, can't do this, can't do that. It is very hard but what really was a breaking point for me was a group of people betrayed me when I did nothing wrong and here they are, living there lives happy, while here I am miserable. It's like I feel like Christianity is all about breaking you down where you feel you lost control of your free will.

[@carlotvalentin]

Keep fighting

[@shespeaks2441]

I can clearly understand especially as a pastor's daughter. My whole life was consumed with church this and church that. I grew to understand the different between religion versus relationship many years later but now after all the things I've lost and the horrible so called hypocritical Christians, I don't want anything to do with it. My only option at this point is to leave Christianity and turn to Messianic Judaism as one last ditch effort or become a agnostic.

[@Rae33199]

Praying for you, for the warfare to break. It’s unbelievably difficult when the warfare is so heavy; you definitely start to question everything. Christianity at its core is about a relationship with God though-the Father, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. It’s all about relationship-if that hasn’t been explained or taught-which it often isn’t and I think takes a good while to really understand if you weren’t taught; it definitely has for me and I’m still learning-it turns to empty, dead religious rules. A loving father gives parameters to his child’s life and those are known through relationship. Maybe the child doesn’t understand when he’s 5 why he can’t drive the car; but when he’s 16 and learns the ins and outs as to how to drive and all that comes with it, he understands why his father set that boundary in place and can see it was for his best interest and safety of his life. God has rescued us out of the control of darkness though Jesus-keep turning to Him, He is the only way out of the darkness-if the only thing you can do is just that (turn to Him). And tell Him how much you’re struggling, like Jason talked about in this interview-tell Him everything and ask Him to make Himself real and known to you where you are. I’ve prayed this many times and know that He answers this cry ♥️

[@AndiSchneider]

That hit home right now. Things are so hard, and I feel like I'm drowning. Its so hard to keep holding onto your faith when your world is crashing down, but I always keep fighting.

[@RoyalMasterpiece]

Sending prayers and strength your way. God is with you. ❤

[@martinkent333]

CULTS ARE FUN EH? NORMAL PEOPLE TYPE BIBLE CRITICISM ONLINE AND LEARN THE HEBREW MYTHS ARE MYTHS AND THE BIBLE IS FICTION, STUPID. HOW EDUCATED ARE YOU, ANDI?

[@nathanieldortch6253]

😢I have lost my will to fight anymore and I am tired of being in this world and praying to a God who doesn't listen 😢

[@tnj4ever]

​@@nathanieldortch6253He does listen and we're being tested. It's very hard going through trials and we don't hear. Keep praying Brother.

[@sassytownsend7500]

I am so sorry. I came here for the same reason God bless you honey. I am about to pray for you now because I cannot pray for myself.

[@GermanGonzalezV]

I never knew darkness as I’m experiencing it now. Still looking for direction, but your words shed some light to my way. Thanks bro.

[@bethyngalw]

I just want to say I see you, and I care about what you're going through. I don't know what else to say, but my heart sits with you tonight.

[@Thrilla69x]

Everything happens for a reason, even if it doesn't make sense at the time.

[@jjguyton9641]

Im gonna give you a verse that the Lord has helped me with many times. Isaiah 43:1 "But now thus saith the Lord that created thee, O Jacob, and He that formed thee O Israel, Fear not: For I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine."

[@jjguyton9641]

Isaiah 54:4 Isaiah 41:8-9

[@jjguyton9641]

Isaiah 54:10

[@Pacifica74]

I've heard in sermons that your faith is not supposed to be in what God does for you, but in who God is. And I say to that, but that's not how this faith journey started. My faith began when God intervened in my life in a radical way and helped me out of my immediate problems. It didn't start with solely intellectually knowing who God is!

[@beekeeper6778]

It's comforting to know I'm not the only one who's felt that way... thank you for sharing.

[@pedinurse1]

i guess we are not Gods favorites

[@beekeeper6778]

@@pedinurse1 probably because God doesn't pick favorites 💜

[@pottersfieldmusic8944]

THANK YOU!! I’ve been through this but we Christians don’t share..sharing HEALS others. We need more transparency like this, thank you for stepping out and sharing

[@ladyj5682]

I agree. Christian churches seem to be the greatest pretenders. We don't talk truth and we keep a fascade of verses to mask what's really happening. Verses have their place, don't get me wrong, but being honest about life has it's place so God can step in and we can get healing we need verses contining to be dead on inside. Iam at thai loint of deep disappointment in God that has jaut leadt o deeper depressikna nd despair. No christians is around to help no good counseling and being a member of chirch for years hasnt helped. I am just silent. The power if God isnt what I thought it would be, the plans of God havent been what I thought they would be, the answered prayers and direction of God hasnt been what I rhought it would be....now sit here numb. I don't even want to go to church to pretend anymore and be alone....nor make effort to believe - believe in what....? My exoectations have been way iff

[@IssacEinstein]

It’s not just Christians who go through this. Everyone does. Jews, Muslims and etc believe in God also

[@leejones3219]

I’ve been very ill. Doctors are worthless. I always believed God would step in when I really needed him. I’ve prayed so many nights to be healed or let me die. I just have nightmares and wake to a nightmare. I still have faith. God works in his time. Blessing to all.

[@Number.1Yanfei.Fan123]

You really said doctors are worthless

[@AffranchiXIV]

Wait til she dies and refuses to get a doctor lol

[@ItDoesntMATTERwhatYourNameIS]

​@@Number.1Yanfei.Fan123 After the last 3 years of them pushing the snake venom juice They most certainly are worthless

[@ItDoesntMATTERwhatYourNameIS]

Lee.. I'm praying for you

[@Th3BigBoy]

​@@Number.1Yanfei.Fan123They are, largely.

[@Mmargo1017]

Agreed 100%. I wish I could say my faith is back where it once was but I don’t know if it ever will be. But when I’m angry at God, I have never been afraid to tell Him. He knows my heart anyways. It’s a struggle, but I haven’t given up.

[@marryjane1684]

Same

[@WestieLuver2011]

God is with you!!!!! He loves you, while we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. (John 3:16). What a blessing! What unspeakable mercy and love poured out on us before we were even born. I will be praying for you!

[@Itsjustbritt]

This helps me so much. I’ve been in such a dark season for some time now. I’ve been depressed and anxious and ultimately just sad. Sometimes I get discouraged because it feels like I don’t have the Holy Spirit anymore. Then from there I just spiral into thinking that God is done with me and has thrown me away because I’ve sinned and been disobedient too much. It feels never ending but this gave me hope.

[@sjbjohn]

Thanks for sharing. I still have my up and down days. The down days are like you described...God is done with me and I am without hope.

[@jjguyton9641]

Isaiah 41:8-9 Isaiah 43:1 Isaiah 54:4 Isaiah 54:19 I've been in the same situation many times in the past year. The Lord used these verses to soothe me and encourage me in those terrible moments. Remember, He's holding onto YOU. He fought for you before you were His. Just imagine how He'll fight for you now. Never give up, or forget His love for you.

[@Itsjustbritt]

@@jjguyton9641 Thank you so much😭

[@Sunshine26762]

I can totally relate to this. This season for me has been filled with so many ups and downs, so much so that I became apathetic in my faith, but God is restoring my joy again. Never believe that God is done with you. We all mess up. Once we repent, He forgives, restores, and accepts us back with open arms. Day by day, say yes to Him and try not to mediate on your mistakes.❤️

[@Infernus_Dante]

How are you now??

[@dagmardesouza3525]

I had alot of fallouts with God, I yelled, I screamed, a lil profanity but with great fear. But I was blinded by anger and frustration at those times. Its all about communication, having a relationship with Him, and He understands us better than anybody else ever could. Some things I cannot talk about with friends or family for fear of being judged, laughed at, mocked or labelled crazy. Nowadays I just take Everything I'm dealing with to Him. Even if it was my own doing that got me in that predicament, and yeah, I get scolded alot! 🙄😂🙌

[@wendyann3333]

I can so relate to this ! Father heard " some wild things " from me 😊 But throughout the years I have come to realize that God can handle it and its a relationship, as such, we go through many emotions as we learn to communicate with Him effectively

[@DMURRAY-cv6su]

Amen...no judgement...you wouldnt believe some of the things i said in anger...And God is not juding you either. I don't care what you did or said...

[@barbcramer763]

Here's the thing, we're allowed to get mad at God. He can take it! He knows everything about us, and we have no secrets from him. He loves us more than anything and sometimes it's hard to believe his intentions are best but it's an everyday journey! Hang in there everyone! It's so worth it!

[@benjaminmagambo3849]

@@barbcramer763 it’s not okay to get mad at Him if we have faith, because we know that our lives are not our own anymore. He decides what to do with it by Himself

[@anjieobasa1871]

@@benjaminmagambo3849 there's like 10 psalms where David gets mad at God. Those books are put in the bible for a reason. Are you to now accuse David the man known for being after God's heart of being faithless because he was angry at him? We can be upset with God and till have faith in Him. We can know that He controls everything but still be upset of how is He is controlling things especially when we do not understand His reasons for allowing pain into our lives.

[@timbren1679]

Lessee if I can make a long story short… My uncle spent his life as a used car salesman, divorced and never remarried, a beer in his hand every moment he wasn’t at work. He came down with a rare disease that left him in ICU. I started visiting him every night after I got off work at 11:pm-this began 6 weeks before he died. For two weeks I read scripture to him until I could tell he was agitated, every nite. He couldn’t communicate except with his eyes. I finally said, in the one way conversations we had lately, that he’s Probly mad at God, I would be too. As he lay there listening to me his eyes got big in surprise, how dare anyone be mad at God. I reassured him God knows, we are people who get mad, sometimes at him. Then for some reason, I wasn’t able to visit him for two weeks. When I reestablished our visiting hour, in ICU at his bedside, two weeks before he was going to die, I understood something was different about my uncle. He looked the same but I understood there had been a change. He wasn’t getting ajitated when I read scripture, and even asked me to go on reading, with his eyes when I would ask if he wanted me to stop. We unplugged him a couple weeks later and he died. FFWD a few weeks, I got an email from my brother. As I read it I was aware of that same understanding I’d had at our uncles ICU bedside. Then at the end of the email, he said he got saved a couple weeks before. I think my uncle finally told god about his anger at Him, and found forgiveness, peace, and finally, home.

[@kemreaktion903]

I am reading through the comments. It looks like a lot of people are hurting. I used to be on fire for God and served in many church ministries, even leading a Bible study class. I used to pray daily and many times I have followed a program to read the Bible (OT and NT) in one year, so I have read it from cover-to-cover numerous times. However, I have lost my faith due to a series of terrible and sad events in my life, but I still go to church looking for that one thing that will turn my faith back on, like he said in the video. So far, I have not been successful, and I was hoping he would share which psalm did that for him. I cried when I heard the song On Fire (Sanctus Real) the first time, because that was me. Pray for me is all I ask.

[@kenthart7519]

This is extremely validating for me. I'm still angry with God for things that happened in my family in 2017. I still believe and obey as I can but it's hard a lot of times. I'm glad I'm not alone in this feeling. I do pray that it heals

[@WestieLuver2011]

God is with you!!!!! He loves you, while we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. (John 3:16). What a blessing! What unspeakable mercy and love poured out on us before we were even born. I will be praying for you!

[@brendapeterson7039]

I often wonder if as we get older we have to shed the simple beliefs we have about God so we can be free from the religious restraints that "we in our young minds chose with what we knew about God" to discover Hod for who he really is that only a mature mind can comprehend. Psychologically speaking it's true. We age out of our beliefs but we don't change them in many categories. God is no different. God doesn't get alarmed about our questions because he knows it will lead us deeper and when we go deeper we see values we didn't know could be ours before

[@BornAgainCarnivore]

There will be times that we don't feel God, or feel a connection to Him, or we feel nothing. Faith isn't just a feeling within us.. it is a choice, it is a choice to trust Him. That even though I feel nothing or don't feel God in my life, I know in my head though that God is there, that He never changes, and I will choose to still trust Him and the true things about Him.. and that is faith. I don't know if this helps anyone, I hope it does. Don't lose your faith.. your trust in who God is and that He is still there.

[@WestieLuver2011]

Amen!!!!!

[@_Julian__]

Thank you. This helped

[@themorningstar3254]

It doesn’t. I know the truth. He picks and chooses (he allows to happen, excuse my ignorance) who gets what, who doesn’t get what, no matter your effort or prayer or obedience. What’s the point?

[@BornAgainCarnivore]

@@themorningstar3254 What's the point? We get rewarded for our obedience.

[@themorningstar3254]

@Bornagaincarnivore My experience and not an argument. Romans 9:21.

[@toobsterdude]

That has been one of the hardest things to deal with as a Christian. All my good friends have apostatized. It has left me alone and missing them. They don't want God or to hear from me as a Christian anymore. Coping with life's disappointments is a test from God of our expectations. It takes many forms.

[@alecferguson8428]

I just had my best friend openly reject his faith in Jesus to me after so many years running with him. It made me cry horribly. And I still pray that he finds his way back and that God does a good work in him. I will pray for your friends

[@toobsterdude]

@@alecferguson8428 (sigh) I had pretty much the same thing happen. A close "Christian" and best friend for many years denied Jesus and tried to deconvert me. It was like handling a death as I cried too. Other close friends just slipped away and ghosted me, not wanting to talk to me about God anymore. I will pray for you and your friends too.

[@meekthegreek1623]

I am reminded of the parable of the sower, also too the prodigal son. Never know if your friends will return or not, pray for them, let them come to you..as now they have excommunicated themselves. If they do come, be gracious, speak the truth in love..meanwhile I'll pray you find your solace in the Lord and that he might gift you with committed friends. Seek ye first the kingdom of God..God helping you. In Christ..🦋

[@meekthegreek1623]

@@alecferguson8428 Allehuia..good news..thankful the Lord worked in his heart, a spirit of repentance and faith. Will pray for him, to continue..

[@berhanerashmi9104]

It’s so hard to keep faith in this religion, I also want to give up 😵‍💫😵‍💫.

[@Stellarheim]

I've spent 8 years in a nightmarish state of constantly battling the demons. God is good.

[@jjguyton9641]

The Lord helped me with these from Isaiah 41:8-9 43:1 54:4 54:10 After 8 years, you may have already seen these, but I just can't keep them to myself. I pray your struggle is nearing an end.

[@palipali4264]

Me too.

[@globalconcern4995]

May God give you peace and rest.

[@gleanerman2195]

No, god is fake, get real.

[@editors4christ13]

Take dominion over these demons. Prayer will help you. Keep contending and pray against any curses or any witchcraft in your family cause their could be stuff you never know about in your bloodline. When you see demons, rebuke them with Jesus name and have Jesus in your heart because if your not careful enough those demons can jump on you. But rebuke them and take dominion over them. It's good to live a repentance kinda lifestyle.

[@lukeshirtliff7861]

i feel the same way at times, its hard to believe by faith yet when you have a descision to make in life and ask for gods guidance and you dont get answer, you end up thinking what your doing wrong and if you need to start performing to get an answer

[@wrimar2372]

If everyone would be honest, we’ve all had these same feelings. And I’ve experienced bouts of deep depression too. When I finally realized that God actually wants us to question the “whys”. It keeps us in communication with him. He loves us through it all.

[@heidia.8097]

Faith isn’t based on feelings. In seasons of depression even if you can only hold onto a few verses you must trust God’s word over your feelings. #fight the fight of faith #live by faith not sight

[@TheMidnightModder]

Even one verse of God's word has His power in it. I wish I could always recognize that. It seems like everyday I'm not necessarily losing my faith, but I'm losing evidence for God. The evidence that used to be satisfactory now doesn't mean anything to me. So I'm learning how to walk by faith alone, but it's terrifying.

[@alecferguson8428]

I am walking through this right now. It’s a beautiful and hard lesson. Faith is not a feeling. Christ always shows up. He is good.

[@gregsmith5875]

BS. The words only have value if connected to the one who spoke them!

[@alecferguson8428]

@@gregsmith5875 okay then, when you’re depressed and anxious, are you gonna rely on your feelings for your faith? No. The truth is the basis of faith. Not feelings. The truth produces feelings but not always.

[@gregsmith5875]

@@alecferguson8428 You have no idea what you're talking about, do you?

[@jimyoung9262]

My wife and I have had to walk through two sons with autism. I totally understand the dark places we can get to as we wrestle with God. I can honestly say He is good and He is worthy to be praised.

[@FA-id9kf]

Thanks for saying this...I was also in that dark place after my son was diagnosed with autism until He showed up and rescued me during the pandemic when all the plan A and plan B failed... and Jesus showed me He is faithful and I can trust him. He is faithful ..loyal..kind and merciful🙌 ....fast forward post covid..He is reading now and communicating better after 15 months of staying home during covid ..at 12 years old!..the past 15 months have been the most challenging for our family but He rescued me..... Jesus said he will be with us in all circumstances...we just listen to the voice of the accuser who tells us we are either unworthy of his love or he doesn't love us or care..thanks again for your post.

[@kathleenvisscher9608]

My husband and I have 3 sons with autism. And 4 other children. Clinging to Jesus.

[@gleanerman2195]

@@kathleenvisscher9608 Why, he's a joke if he is real.

[@MadebyJimbob]

How many vaccines did you give them

[@joeypleasants4014]

I have high functioning autism and I struggle like right now to trust God. It is also a full moon at this time and I feel tense around a moon

[@jjnewlife9405]

It's raw honestly with God and everyone close to us that helps with the healing. I discovered Jason's song, "Remind Me Who I Am" and fell in love with it. Recently, he did a show where he opened with that beloved song. I stayed in my car after parking at home to listen and sing along. After seeing this, I will try and be more aware to pray for Jason and others on this comment page. God bless. Thanks for sharing your gift.

[@blahblah5099]

Hi there. I recently discovered that same exact song. I fell in love with it instantly. I was going through the phase of losing my mother and it stings but it comforts at the same time. God bless.

[@theboombody]

Raw honesty. I like that phrase.

[@WestieLuver2011]

Amen!

[@lisahamrick5185]

7 years of unanswered prayer. What started as an angelic visit and still got no further than I was on this😞

[@justinchamberlain3443]

One of the realest "christian" artists that ive ever heard thst actually appears to be a real christian. Incredible

[@bugzzy6990]

I'm also battling with depression. I'm tired of it. I went to the UK in search of a good paying job and I thought that it would make me happy. I was wrong. I just wanna go back home but I can't at the moment because I have to pay a certain amount of money if I'm going to end my contract with my employer. I keep praying to God that I could raise the money so that I can go back home. Please pray for me cause I'm already tired mentally and emotionally.

[@user-tt8im8no3k]

I've been seeking God for years. Despite my seeking I feel empty. I'll continue to seek so but I'm very discouraged about it all.

[@WestieLuver2011]

Please do not give up on the Lord!!! He has a plan for your life: "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope" (Jeremiah 29:11 NKJV). He loved you before the world was even formed! "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love" (Ephesians 1:3-4). He is with you!!!!! He loves you, while we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. (John 3:16). What a blessing! What unspeakable mercy and love poured out on us before we were even born. I will be praying for you!

[@fifiearthwanderer]

Same. Sometimes I wonder why I continue..

[@denisejohnson2971]

These thoughts resonate so very deeply with me. The doubt, the pulling away, the isolation from the body of Christ that divorce created, all were very real. The struggle of fighting those demons of the mind and trying to figure out who you are in the ‘after’ can be so depressing and challenging. I also struggled with being angry with God for not ‘saving’ my marriage. I’m still working on ALL of those things, but thank you Jason for articulating so well your struggles and your victories with these same things!

[@omythedas7839]

have lost your faith from jesus and mary if yes why

[@JoeBenson-ig5cw]

Thank God somebody kept it real and honest - i too have been angry and lost faith in God - so thank you Jason for being real and authentic.

[@yvonnekoh5888]

Can listen to Timothy Keller sermon on heman cry of darkness It has helped me My daughter passed away last august. My heart been wrenched from me. To the point I told God please also shorten my life. I cannot bear the pain. It’s dally. Tears like waves sadness that don’t go away I wrestled n I screamed at God. Why God why. But know that. A wrestled faith is not no faith. It’s wounded but it’s still faith. God knows He really does. N He told me at the end of the day. Everything will be alright

[@meleshenko3767]

Wow, Sister. I have felt despair like this too. There is great wisdom in what you say: “ A wrestled faith is not no faith. It is wounded but it is still faith.” I am copying those words to remember thank you.

[@_Julian__]

This is why I love honesty especially in something such as faith. I recently lost mine on Easter of all days. It felt like a candle lost its light and a new journey started for me. I’ve lost hope, gained it and flailing to say it lightly. I usually write the word, “but” with a comma cause there was always a, “Life is like this which is horrible, but Jesus…” and it just hasn’t resonated like before. I’ve decided to get plugged into a church, be honest with my spouse about it and hopefully she doesn’t have her faith shaken since she’s seen how much it’s changed me over the years. I truly feel lost, angry, and left alone by God. I’m hurt to say the least. He loves and yet we go thru these trials where if I just believed in my heart, I know the strength would be there to endure. It’s suffering that plagues my everyday life. I’m just waiting on Jesus to shine a light back in my heart and tell me He’s always been there even when I’m scared. Even when the light of the loving Christ vanish within me. It’s okay. I just keep trying to remind myself of when I first believed. When I felt something so real and tangible open past the ceiling walls at that church to pour in my heart. I felt a change then. And honestly, I keep asking myself do I need to feel it now? Maybe a little less when I just remember His presence and being more real to me than reality itself. Maybe, I just need to remember when my spiritual heart was first opened up and I believed.

[@LadyJpraise2024unbound]

Finally, someone who is where I am and knows the depths of just no longer having faith. Built your life around it, hope in it, yet find yourself very disappointed with the outcomes. Church, small grpup,prayer, sozos, but nothing. I've been here for a decade now. Just dead on inside

[@carlotvalentin]

You gonna win the fight just keep fighting

[@shespeaks2441]

I know about the dead inside. I've fought the good fight of faith even nearly dying five times. I'm tired of fighting I just want some peace, a break from battle after battle.

[@krislove6171]

I've been a believer my whole life. That shooting in Uvalde happened and something broke inside of me. I am lost. Wondering if I've been believing a lie my entire life. I'm deeply sad, depressed, scared, angry, upset. I feel like my world is unraveling so fast. I feel like I've lost hope. I feel alone. I cry every day. God where are you. Why am I here just lost and hurting 😞

[@kellystone7501]

Hope you're feeling a little better by now. I obviously have no clue where you ended up on your belief at this point, but I do hope you have found some comfort in your friends and family who definitely do exist and can provide real comfort. Regarding whether you have believing a lie, yeah, maybe. It can be a long and painful process leaving a belief, but can be worth the price once you know the value of true things and stop having to try to justify things that make no sense when all is said and done. The truth fears nothing, so if you are interested in seeking truth, seek out other people with different belief systems - or, you can stay in a bubble where everyone believes the same thing and maybe live a happy life hoping your bubble got it right. All I can say is the long painful process of leaving the faith I was brought up in was very much worth it for me. Reality is amazing! Best wishes.

[@BA-ng9bx]

Lord, please comfort this person, Please let them know that you are with them, and that you love them. Give them peace Lord.

[@shespeaks2441]

I ask the same question, " Where are you God?". I was already broken and suffering for nineteen months yet I kept my faith. The last straw was watching my husband suffer tremendously by being ravaged with cancer and finally taking his last breath. I'd rather God to take me out of my suffering than to constantly be beaten down and destroyed for decades. Whatever he does so be it. I have no control over it anyway. I don't pray like I once did because I feel He is not even listening. Before someone says He is you are not receiving what you might want or wait on the Lord ....Just save it I'm afraid of the chance of good happening cause it's always followed by some form of tragedy.

[@mchristr]

Not having grown up in the Church gave me a realistic picture of life's hardship with nowhere to turn. Welcome to the normal Christian life.

[@billw4805]

Sometimes I wish that I hadn’t grown up in the church

[@DukeOfCoolsville]

Sometimes I wish the church equipped me for anything other than a fast food expectation and with almost no tools to survive the actual christian experience.

[@americasamericas5782]

@@DukeOfCoolsville the most powerful tool GOD GAVE IS THE POWER OF PRAYER

[@HBudianu]

It sounds like you don't know Christ when you say you have nowhere to run.

[@Pfsif]

Your last sentence is spot on and I will say it, it absolutely sucks.

[@pennu1775]

This is where I am in my faith. I don’t feel like praying or going to church again. I prayed to God to bless me with a normal baby boy when I found that we were pregnant after a long time. I specifically asked God. Now my son is developmentally delayed. I have been a believer for a long time. I have been praying to God to change my son’s situation but he has been silent. I have struggled with believing Him and trusting again. I have prayed, fasted and no changes. I am giving up on him and if he wants to take me away so be it. I hope he can answer because my faith in Him is down.

[@WestieLuver2011]

Please do not give up on the Lord. He has a plan for your beautiful little boy: "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope" (Jeremiah 29:11 NKJV). He loved you before the world was even formed! "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love" (Ephesians 1:3-4). He is with you!!!!! He loves you, while we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. (John 3:16). What a blessing! What unspeakable mercy and love poured out on us before we were even born. I will be praying for you!

[@pennu1775]

@@WestieLuver2011 thanks for the encouragement. I just hope God can change things because this is hard.

[@olentangyriver1191]

Unfortunately god does not do healings, none documented.. it's extremely depressing..

[@WestieLuver2011]

@@olentangyriver1191 only God can heal. The only reason people become healed from physical illness and become saved from their sins is because of the Lord Jesus’s work on the cross and His new life after He was crucified and buried. He resurrected from the dead so that whosoever believes in Him would not perish but have eternal life! Eternal life with God, in total good health and fulfillment.

[@tp1201]

​@@olentangyriver1191God Does and Will HEAL! NOT ON OUT TIMING, BUT HIS PERFECT TIMING. DON'T THROW IN THE TOWEL.

[@katej392]

Honesty is probably the best gift we can give God.

[@emmaharling6337]

and each other xx

[@whateverheather655]

this is exactly where I am . I feel like I am empty and I have no feeling I am questioning my faith deeply 😕

[@nwadi6408]

I feel you. I’m going through the same.

[@whateverheather655]

@nwad6408 my comment was made 7 months ago. I can tell you I still feel dry so to speak . However the best advice I can tell you is keep reading your bible as hard as it is and it is keep reading and keep praying. Even if the prayer is just the Lords prayer. We can't give up . We are living in the last days. We are to close to the finish line. I definitely feel like it's possible that maybe, just maybe we are at the point where the Holy Spirit may have been removed . I feel that way because of how bad things are in the world today . That is the only way I can explain it . God bless you and keep your head up .

[@preyonce]

Beautiful testimony, it saved me from walking away from God. I’m struggling with patiences and I’m angry with God because he’s taking too long to answer my prayer. But through faith, I must understand that it’s his timing and not mine. Lord, I love you. Hear our cries. Amen.

[@WestieLuver2011]

Amen!!! Please do not give up on the Lord. He has a plan for your life: "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope" (Jeremiah 29:11 NKJV). He loved you before the world was even formed! "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love" (Ephesians 1:3-4). He is with you!!!!! He loves you, while we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. (John 3:16). What a blessing! What unspeakable mercy and love poured out on us before we were even born. I will be praying for you!

[@jamieraehendricks9930]

Wow! Our stories of brokenness, “dead” faith, and disappointment are so similar! Thankful that He is a perfect loving Father and Healer; always faithful, even through our faithless times. Thank you, Jason, for sharing your story. It shows others going through similar struggle that while the LORD may ALLOW His children to be broken, He never ABANDONS us, and always creates something new and wonderful out of the brokenness.

[@deadmanfan1000]

One thing that God did for me, is that I thought that I would never find love, and then love came when I least expected it. It came in the form of someone I knew since college, since 2004.

[@emilybrazzel6097]

Thank you so much for sharing your heart and your struggle! It is so powerful! I can relate to your struggle.

[@terifodor1654]

You’re helping so many of us on our walk…..you’ve helped me on mine for years now. I ask others to walk with you…so God can use you to help them in their walk too. Much love for the part you’ve played in my walk.

[@sarahandjosh14]

Jason, you have been a ridiculous encouragement through so much! Your honesty and desire to hold on as hard as you can are just so refreshing consistently. Thank you!

[@fhftfgyb]

Thank you Jasaon for your honesty, i also felt devasted when my faith reduced, but now i know God intervenes at his own time.

[@sangralknight3031]

Something many christians forget: Do not lie God knows you are not Ok. And trying to be Ok and not angry is dishonest. Its not about having the "right" to be angry. You are, He knows, and he loves you. He already hears you when you shout alone in the dark, so bring it to him. He has the words, the love, and the compassion you need. before you can be perfect, and you can be perfect, you need to be honest.

[@_heyimbritt]

This! This! This! It’s the humanity of being God’s children that sometimes I need to hear more. This is why in the Bible people like David make me feel validated through my walk. It’s not easy and we get to low places but God! I needed this!

[@gracebeckwith1256]

Dear Jason Gray, your music has always moved me deeply in the past. I didn’t know you had suffered a divorce. I’m so sorry. I did too. From what I have experienced the church may struggle with how to love Christians who are struggling with their faith. Then people leave to regroup because it can be difficult to be in church as we can feel like hypocrites, just to name one scenario. I could say more but the point is Christian’s, especially pastors need to learn to not just love the lost well but to really love their flock. I am so happy that Jesus loves us well and will never shame us or turn his back on us.

[@cameronsnow7156]

Pastors are humans struggling with their own demons, gotta go straight to the source

[@brandonwilson403]

Very comforting as I’ve also gone through an unwanted divorce that’s left wounds that feel like will never heal. Thanks so much for sharing this video.

[@charlenetillemans9579]

Praise the Lord for the way that he called you back into His arms! The words of the psalms are wonderful life bringing ministers to our souls. I was at the meeting where your mom gave her heart to Jesus. I have known your dad and grandparents. It has warmed my heart to see your singing minister to millions of people worldwide. May God richly bless you for sharing your testimony and continuing to create and sing for His glory.

[@Trumpet222]

This was so touching and beautiful thank you Jason. It's certainly comforting to known I'm not alone

[@pagedewitt7176]

I love this so much! Thank you for being humble and sharing.

[@sarahandjosh14]

THANK YOU JASON! You've been such a blessing to me for a long time. Sending this to a friend going through divorce and you echo her feelings so well

[@angelicafeliciano6134]

Broke down when i heard the song and felt relieved at the same time. Thank you!

[@Michelle-db6xf]

Jason Gray, your struggles with faith and the music that resulted from it has helped many, including myself, to have hope in our own struggles with faith. I love your music! And I love Acoustic Story Time on The Message. Fav song: Remind Me You're Here. Thank you!

[@lizzykitten1834]

Thank you Jason, for being raw and transparent. Your story will help others going through the same or similar situation. Interesting the bit about Bono. As a U2 fan, I know many of their songs in which they reference God, Jesus, and Bible verse. Praying for all to have God in their lives.

[@jzbman]

Thank you Jason for articulating this so well. Lately Ive been burying feelings of disappointment about my two sons. Last night, after a conflict with them, depression hit me hard. When you mentioned your son, I realized Ive become angry with God about my sons. I love them so much but they must make their own choices in life. Your words help me realize I can take my disappointment to God, and know he cares more about my sons than me.

[@daughterofthemosthighking5095]

Thank you God for the music of Jason Gray! God bless him!! Just found you Jason through this video and I needed your music so so much. Let the healing begin thank you Jesus ❤

[@Abrya224]

Thank you for sharing! your words have helped me see things a bit clearer and not so alone in desperation. 🙏

[@reginaldforeman783]

This spoke greatly to me. Especially his song at the end!! Bless God!

[@jeffbaker5285]

This is the most real video I have watched in a while. It maybe be partly because I struggle also and I can relate to how it feels. Thank you for sharing this. It helps

[@abgorden]

Jason is an amazing artist. He's so transparent and doesntvshy away from sharing joys, and struggles.

[@theresecrouch2924]

Excellent , ty for yr transparency..I went thru the same thing 13 yrs back...And yr right , emotions aren't to be trusted, theyre so unstable, God does want us to come and pour everything out at His feet..He knows our thoughts anyway..the song turn yr eyes upon Jesus, and hymns in general were like a balm to me...the only one who wouldn't want you to come to the Lord w/the whole mess is the enemy of our souls...praise God for cleansing, for forgiveness, for mercy, for healing...ty for sharing yr heart w/us

[@nicolaholland1]

He describes exactly where I am at and how I feel. I have been searching for help to get out of my deadness. Such a comfort to hear this story.

[@gracerodgers8952]

Growing pains, Jason,we all have growing pains. God loves us and will redeem his creation when it's time.♥️

[@jennt111]

I’m praising our good, good Savior for your restored faith, Jason!🙌🏻 He used your song “Remind Me Who I Am” to do something similar in my own life. Praying He strengthens our faith and reminds us of His love daily.

[@jessiemrmiles]

Thank you so much for your honesty. I have been through the same and also coming through the other side, having had to let go of some of my expectations of what i thought my Father would do for me. It's been a scary time but .... well, in the end, HE is the only One we can truly hold on to. The thought of living a life without Him, I think was worse than my anger and disappointment I felt towards Him for such a long time.

[@jld4870]

Sat down with him and told him what I was really feeling-not how I thought it should be. This is it…why do we think we can hide from God? After all Jesus asked the Father why have you forsaken me. Thank you for sharing this, loved the analogy of your sons anger being a wall between you, I believe the same is true in our relationship with Jesus, when we try and ‘be’ the ‘right’ Christian yet harbor much unspoken suffering there is a wall that will remain until we surrender all.

[@elieteoliveira-janus2416]

Brother Jason! I would like to tell you that I heard you sing his praises without knowing you until I heard you on Christian radio The Message. Once a month you have your schedule. This is my experience with your program. Every time I have the opportunity to hear it, the presence of the Holy Spirit, it is from beginning to end. Tears fall from my eyes and I can't contain them. I have never had an experience like this. Thanks to be who you are in Christ.

[@dorothea4157]

This is what I needed to see. Thank you so much for sharing this. The last song is beautiful.

[@instrumentsponge]

Wow! Yes I totally am there with him! I thought that nothing could ever shake my faith, but then the last 3 years have really shaken me and one of them is facing divorce and you feel like you can't be mad at God because you "aren't supposed to be". "You shouldn't question God, just trust" right? I think David was a prime example of expressing his emotions to God and he was considered a man after God's own heart, so there has to be something to that relationship that God wants in our relationship with Him. I have to question is it openess and laying everything before Him? I mean after all, He does say cast your cares upon Him. Thank you for sharing your experience and part of your journey.

[@carolineawada9556]

Thank you for sharing! This was needed💘

[@Techier868]

I like the NLT version of this verse…““For everyone will be tested with fire.” ‭‭Mark‬ ‭9:49‬ ‭NLT‬‬ By and large the modern day church does NOT prepare us for trials….and many fall away sadly…. During my time of testing, I wanted to quit so many times but God gently brought me back every single time….. and as the songwriter said…where could I go back to the Lord?

[@DukeOfCoolsville]

Good God. Thank you for helping/letting Jason share a powerful, and FINALLY HONEST RESPONSE TO PAIN AND SUFFERING. I love this man, and I needed it.

[@sundevilsteve]

Totally! Amen! Deep and real.....I love it!

[@Bigfoottehchipmunk]

I think of the guts of the song "Held". "The promise was, when everything fell we'd be held." The "fall" causes destruction. Living and growing through it requires humility to receive strength only God can supply.

[@christinamorales6887]

I was struggling and went back to attending mass midday. I needed the sacredness and reverence of God again. I attend mass at a church that is 200 years old in CA and feel God in that old church. I was so angry at God and wounded with shame and a broken heart.

[@katinacyler4834]

Thank you for this. I was afraid to tell my story, out of fear of judgment. Thank you for your transparency.

[@mirjamveninga1433]

Thankyou for sharing your story. It encouraged me that we can come to God as I am.

[@barbaraletterly4884]

Thank you for sharing your story! I can relate on many levels. Especially wrestling with God and learning to be brutally honest with Him. “Hallelujah I’m going through hell. Hallelujah I’m still singing it is well.” These are powerful words!

[@chantellrenee7936]

Amen wonderful words. 🙏❤️‍🩹

[@pammentzer3584]

My faith restoring Psalm was Psalm 73...and I love that it was written by Asaph...a worship leader. As my pastor says, "If you don't doubt your faith, I doubt your faith." God is faithful, even as we struggle with Him.

[@jjguyton9641]

Thank you

[@bighorncountry]

Psalm 73 is my absolute favorite.. so honest

[@sundevilsteve]

Awesome video! Thank U Jason Gray! WE LOVE YOU!!!!! Keep the Faith Bro!!!!

[@terrirockwell2556]

These real talk videos are so good. We can easily think that worship leaders are super-Christians who never struggle.

[@greglisajanicki646]

Wish I could send an encouraging word to Jason. I had his first album manufactured and packaged at Disc Makers. I prayed for each client artist I was an account manager over. Jason Gray stood out, and God wanted me to pray from that point. Hopefully he may see this.. and know now… God had you from the beginning. In Christ!

[@AlwaysLiz7]

oh gosh, am happy you were revived back in Christ. That's a blessing. Wish I can say that in my situation. Anyways, kindly keep me in prayers as I am going through mines theses months. Feeling stuck and my heart and mind are not aligning in Christ. I cant even say a word of prayer. thank you.

[@calledbygod9817]

Unbelief is a poison. Be a warrior and fight against Death. It is written: I will never leave you nor forsake you.

[@akilahbrowne2623]

Thank you for being so honest, sometimes i feel disappointed too. But we are humans, and God knows that.We always have to keep in pray and let God have his way.

[@SteveLeeder]

what a great testimony! there have been times when I was so disappointed with God that it has felt that if it were possible i would die from disappointment. But as Jason says here, we need to be completely honest and transparent with our heavenly Father, and I've found that only through being real with Him, warts and all- there was my breakthrough. terrific testimony brother

[@nancysimashela2099]

Transparency thats it. Forgetting how society teaches us how to come to GOD but just me and God, a daughter talking to her dad.

[@michelleh.188]

Thank you so very much for sharing ! I’m encouraged 🙏🏼🔥🙏🏼

[@karin1207]

Thanks for sharing Jason. And being real and transparent.

[@Ready-ForTheEnd]

I've stopped praying. Just a week ago I lost my faith like breath blowing out a candle. Just sudden and abrupt. I convinced myself that this time would be different, that even after all the no's, God was going to bless my family with an income that was substantial to say the least. That God was just trying to teach me patience and hope. It would have helped us greatly with our child, a vehicle, food. And it didn't happen. Instead we were yet again skipped over for someone else. I cursed and cursed saying all sorts of vile things, that i wish the person who was chosen would just drop d*ad on the job. I am slowly but surely turning into a bitter person, a person who doesn't have love for their fellow man anymore. A person who doesn't even care for God anymore. It's not that I don't believe he exists, its just that i am convinced if he does exist he certainly doesn't care about any of us.

[@yezeniavasquez9857]

hey family, I read your story and what your going through, i'm very sorry that it hasn't worked out yet. I recognize that bitter heart of mine in you too, I have been asking God for a healing for awhile now. And all this time passing is just making us angry or watching others live in or receive peace of mind and joy that we are reaching for, is only making us more upset rather than happy for them. Because it hurts. And family, I have no words that will change your situation or what you have been praying for. But I just wanted to let you know that I see you, your pain and frustration. And you are not alone. with the faith we have combined, LORD, I ask in Your great and mighty Name, that you restore us Lord, all the years the locusts have eaten (joel 2:25) and restore water to our parched lands. Restore our desolate areas and where we are weak God, I pray you use our weakness in Your strength ( 2 Corintians 12: 8-10) Lord God. Thank you Father for this beautiful and important Family member in Your body Christ. Thank you Jesus, in your Name GOD we pray. amen.

[@debbienorsworthy1255]

Thank you Jason Gray. I’m sorry to hear about your loss in divorce. I am right there with the loss of our daughter going through 2 years without her and approaching our 3rd year coming in August. I really don’t know how I made it this far without her. My faith too has been wrecked but still have it because without God I don’t know how to do anything. Grief doesn’t go away but hope lives on and I know she went before us to heaven and I’m looking forward to our turn to be together in heaven. Thank you for your heart and music that has resonated with me in many ways. Jesus loves you and I do too. God bless you right here right now. Amen

[@ashleysoto9702]

Debbie I pray that in those moments you miss your daughter you would be comforted by our Heavenly Father. I lost my grandmother due to cancer and I can’t express how much I miss her. But May God send the presence of the king of peace where ever you may be 💕

[@annec988]

Dear Debbie having lost our beautiful son I know what you are going through and wondering how you can carry on. God will always be there to help you through, you are so much closer to Him than you can realise, and your daughter is praying for you too because she loves you. God helped me in ways I can only be ever thankful for as I felt I couldn't go on with my life and prayed for years to die myself, and after 7 years of praying to die, I was admtted to hospital and hoping this was it that my prayers to die were finally going to be answered but whilst there one afternoon I had this dream that my son was on top of a lovely green hill, in the sunshine with other children and happy and smiling and he was waving to me and said 'not yet mum' I woke up. If that had just been it it was a lovely dream but I smoked at the time and when I woke up I asked the nursing staff if I could go out and have a cigarette and they let me out the back door to a place I that I had never seen whilst there, and there in the back of the hospital grounds was a big green hill just like in my dream, 2 big green hills in fact, as if one wouldn't have been enough, and I knew it was a sign from God and my son to carry on with my life. You will be given strength everyday Debbie, to bring you through the hardest time(s) of your life. It is written 'Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted.' I share this with you to reinforce that God loves you and has you and your daugher in His loving arms. Recently, decades later I have made a big mistake due to depression and anxiety, and had a complete breakdown, and now I have to remember to fall back on into God's loving arms and cling to Him even though I just want to go home myself and sometimes have doubted God lately, as I do not get the sense of God as I use to in those early years of losing our son and I miss that so much, but I do know He is still there because I once felt so surrounded by His love and I have to trust Him completely because He has not brought me this far to leave me now. You will be given something too, in due time, that all is well.

[@deadmanfan1000]

Yeah, sometimes I feel like I hit a dead end, that my life isn’t where it used to be, and I question if God has taken me this far just to leave me at a dead end.

[@deadmanfan1000]

Also, I lost two very dear and close friends, a few years ago or so. I miss them a lot. It’s like a chunk of my life has been taken out. It’s not the same anymore. We used to joke about funny names of our Uber drivers and talk about the weather, and go to movies and trips and outings. There’s a hole in my heart where they used to be, but I don’t know if I’ll even see them again. I don’t know if I’ll see them in heaven. They were really good people(though one of them had both bad and good sides to him), but they were good people, especially the other one with how much he did for the disabled community, he was so giving, he was an outstanding person. But good people don’t go to heaven. 😢 Forgiven people do.

[@taceyreichman3675]

Thank you so much for sharing this. I have been in the same place of feeling i have lost my faith and not wanting to hear the word off and on for many months since my son took his own life in 2019. I have stubbornly told myself and God and the devil that no matter how much i struggle with doubts i will continue to believe " though he slay me, yet will i trust him" i listen to elevation church and worship music and some weeks that's the best i can do. i appreciate your story about your son, as i have been realizing for awhile now that i need to talk about my feelings honestly with God and write in my journal and i have been avoiding doing so because it's messy and draining and hard to face and hard to articulate and hard to know what to do with those feelings. It's easier to be busy and distract yourself. Just know that so many times your music has ministered to me over the years, thank you, i hope someday i can pay it forward as you have to all your listeners. May God carry you in this time of brokenness and healing. He is near to the brokenhearted and saves all who are crushed in spirit.

[@LadiesofPurposeTV]

I’m so very sorry for the loss of your son! My brother took his life July 4th 2019 and I can relate with the heartache & pain of grieving such a devastating loss of loved one. I too enjoy elevation worship ;). I really felt like the last 2 years of losing my brother then the pandemic exhausted me…but I noticed everyone is dealing some sort of post traumatic pandemic stress disorder too. As a believer I felt like I was letting the Lord down over the time of my grieving my brothers loss bc I totally shut down serving at church & needed time to heal. Now I am seeing the Lord has been & continues to refine me in his process of molding me more into who he’s called me to be. My passion for life & to serve had sparked again. I’m very thankful. I pray the Lord give you comfort & blessings as you continue to heal your heart & grieve. There is no timeline on healing from loss. Give yourself grace and give yourself permission to LIVE & Enjoy life again. It’s not easy but the Lord gives us time for mourning and healing and he will give strength and peace as we continue to live life for Him. For me taking a break from serving at church helped me heal, I still spend time in Gods word & worship him daily and praise him but I also learned that during this dry hard time in my life God has been renewing my spirit & slowly reigniting the dreams that he’s placed on my heart many years ago. God has a beautiful plan and purpose for your life & anyone reading this. Blessing to you!!!

[@jackbuchanna3935]

It’s so hard sometimes but I kinda have to take a step back and say “ok God what now” knowing his ways are above mine and his thoughts about my thoughts..and I’ll never forget what my dad told me. “Life is like a walk with God and one day he says, “you know what your closer to my home than your home …why don’t you come home son.” ❤️

[@taceyreichman3675]

@@LadiesofPurposeTV thank you so much for these encouraging words, my husband and i have also taken a complete break from church and serving there in order to regroup and heal, i know God is building character and strength as we wait in him

[@randykrahn3786]

I am really glad to hear this . Our faith isn't about our feelings , it's about the truth and faithfulness of God , Thank you Jesus .

[@dorinchen__]

"Wrestling is a part of the healing." THANK YOU!!

[@ReinSouls]

The vast majority of people that I have known that have lost their faith is due to the exact same thing Jason went through. And for awhile I was one of them. There's a false train of thought that's very prevalent in the Church that God is like a genie. When we face tribulation, we expect God to come in and save the day exactly how we want it. Not how we need it to be. God gives us what we need, not what we want. Unfortunately, a lot of time when he does that. The pride that we hold so dear causes us to refuse how God handled our situation. And causes us to rebuke him. God is in control. Our pride only gets in the way of His plan. The days I lived as a nihilist because I couldn't give up my pride that God wasn't there the way I wanted him to be were some of the worst days of my life. "A man’s pride will bring him low, But a humble spirit will obtain honor." Proverbs 29:23

[@jdx3738]

Order reorder disorder, is a song that gets me through everything right now. I've listened to it so many times, It has really meant a lot to me. So thanks

[@radiantheartwoman]

Wow! How he articulated this is incredible. After my marriage fell apart it started me in the same painful journey with my faith. That whole painful feeling of how he described there would be less and less light he could feel in him and even reading the word would make him angry.... if you haven't gone through it you just don't get it. 💯

[@meleshenko3767]

How are you now?

[@radiantheartwoman]

@@meleshenko3767 oh my goodness I understand the heaviness of what you shared! I am trusting that I am moving forward. I have good and bad days and joy filled and angst filled parts of almost everyday. That part you said about the word closing to you...I have felt that...but just this week I have decided that I will not accept that and won't let the devil come any closer at me with it! I'm gonna let God speak to me in the small chunks at a different pace than what I was once moving at and just be greatful whatever I recieve. This week I had a couple sisters sow beautifully into my life that has encouraged me to keep fighting and hold on. In their wisdom and feowship I felt the Father's love and I could feel Him not giving up on me and though things aren't fully changed I have renewed strength and feel cheered on. I also so know the weariness of wanting to die and then repenting and the cycle. I literally just did that yesterday....and that's when I reached out to a sister I had met who offered to share her testimony of how God healed her. We had met but don't live near eachother. So after I repented God brought her to mind. I reached out and we talked for over an hour and it was such an iron sharpening iron conversation. I've been praising God ever since. There are no coincidences....it was a divine meeting when we met and divine timing for our phone call. I am reminded that we reallly have to draw near to our sisters in Christ and keep the iron sharpened! I also conti up to pray...Lord take me back to the start that first ❤️

[@tnj4ever]

​@@radiantheartwomanhave you prayed for reconciliation with your husband?

[@jimyoung9262]

The cares of this world will truly choke out the life in us. I've been there. Praise the Lord for His grace.