I was not magnificent.

Trigger Warning!
“There’s no thin enough. It doesn’t exist”
Once again I'm on the verge of complete paranoia. These once are so hard to upload and I regret it each time, lol. Even tho these edits are a shit ton of work and really painful and honest, I hope they can make at least a tiny difference for some.
Maybe give some insight for those who find it hard to understand or maybe a "out of yourself" / "looking at things from a diffrent point of view" type thing for those who can relate.
But it might also not make any sense...since my mind tend to be pretty messy.

[@tigerclements5731]

I wish I was skinny maybe then someone would realise im not okay

[@areenasorani1752]

That hut hard. I'm a year late

[@katyknott6726]

hey moon i felt that deep down

[@ersamaryana8913]

tiger clements im here for u

[@Flynn9974]

You thinking that shows you aren't okay..

[@chicanova1359]

Are you better now?how are you feeling, love?❤

[@kookieseuphoricflower8411]

Society: Be yourself! Society five seconds later: not like that! Fix yourself!

[@kizzisandrea163]

So true...

[@Amy-lg7ml]

I_stan_Jack_Avery For_life everyone @ kpop idols it’s so sad

[@sarahdominymusic]

I_stan_Jack_Avery For_life r/im14andthisisdeep

[@sabinakrpata7155]

“It’s about pain. What you crave.. is the numbing of the thing you don’t wanna feel.” Why is that so right 💔 (1:05)

[@kurdishinspirit4705]

which movie is 1:41

[@xtonibx5770]

Sometimes I hold a granola bar in my hand just to not eat it. I like surrounding myself with food just to not eat it. And suddenly, I like being hungry. I feel like when I'm hungry and I don't eat, then I'm finally doing something right. It started off with cutting calories, now I'm afraid of them. I'm not thin enough to be anorexic. I'm not hungry. And I'm fine.

[@noramurphy4027]

Please get help

[@emmastone8779]

Arianna Heart same here..

[@oliviaadams3706]

i hope u feel better no one should feel like this

[@miraclegoddess6627]

You don’t need to be thin to be anorexic

[@katehazelwood3044]

Reading this, I started crying. Me too. There’s something comforting about hunger. And I know I’m losing weight and I know it’s unhealthy but a part of me doesn’t care anymore. I hope you can get better. I hope I can too.

[@fransavin9820]

I have not a problem with food , i have a problem with me... i'm the problem

[@marleighfoster5183]

same

[@Bakers-channel]

Me and you both

[@peach3987]

finally someone who dosen’t use “skinny love” or the same “sad song” that everyone uses

[@eviemaysellars]

I bloody love how real your edits are, thank you for this.

[@brokenCrown]

evie may sellars it gets me right in the feels everytime

[@tessalislet1437]

Actually, it's christmas and new year, for me who have a eating disorder, it's the worse period of the years. My family, make a lot of food obviously and they don't even know that i struggling with food so i have to binge eating in front of them (but purge all the night obviously) and they goes like "Yeah, eat, you're way too skinny." Sometimes, some friends bodyshaming me because i'm too thin, and i know that on of them suspect my disorder and because of that i'm too scared to tell them the truth or maybe i'm too scared to admit that i have a eating disorder. Yours videos are perfect, thx for all your work i wish you a happy new year. Love from France❤

[@elizabethroldandelgado4613]

A.R.M.Y ❤

[@cinnamongirl9779]

Army 💖 I love you and I hope you seek recovery someday ♡

[@verdandin]

I feel the same everyday, it's a struggle. They say that I’m skinny and then binge on the Christmas and family dinners, but after I always purge. Everyday is hell

[@ttkb5531]

Heyyy ARMY💜 you are beautiful as you are please be healthy😃💜

[@evieachtelik]

I'm struggling as well. It's my first Christmas with an eating disorder, and I'm literally terrified.

[@_editaddict]

I watch this edit very often. It really helps me feel less alone. I know it word by word now, so when I watch it, I can scream and cry with the voiceovers and it feels incredibly freeing. Thank you so much for this art!

[@Ardyn02]

the dance academy scenes hit me hard, ive seen that show so many times and are connected to those people

[@janayamber9706]

People who make these videos need to start putting help lines in the description

[@christina286]

janay amber yes!!!

[@user-ez6pn]

wow this is beautiful. i also cannot believe the quality of the clips. you work so hard but the result gives me shivers. i feel so touched from your heart to mine. thank you so much

[@VEKProduction]

i get shivers from reading this. thank you.

[@user-ez6pn]

AHHHHHH I LOVE YOU THANKS FOR REPLYING OMG

[@Haileykcomet]

The fact that I’m going through something similar and this popped up just like thank you. This is so emotionally beautiful

[@seriannarockswold8391]

I'm literally crying so hard rn. I'm never going to get better

[@sweetpea0746]

Yes you will. Recovery is a possibility. I didn't think it was during the 6 years I suffered. But I found normalcy again. If you wanna talk I'm here.

[@hannahwilliams5681]

You can.

[@chelseachristie8580]

Serianna Rockswold 90% of people watching this video and who have commented are all going through something similar we can all get through this we just have to believe in our selves xx

[@Kukuyoutube9]

If you'd bever want to hear this same thing from your loved one you probably shouldn't tell it to yourself as well.

[@tylerandjsh1873]

same.

[@jordanallen5653]

scarily accurate, and that's so damn depressing but it's true. i hate this disorder, but despite making me cry everytime i watch them, videos like these make me feel less alone in this isolating hellscape

[@GlowingAprilSky]

wow this is prob the best video regarding this topic. As i don't have eating disorder, and this is the first time that i completely -ish understood it through video. As it has some points that other videos don't show. It is very personal and emotional, and just amazing. Thank you for sharing.

[@Jelieb]

This is amazing, probably the best video of yours. I know its hard to share these because they're so personal but thank you for posting these videos, they mean a lot to a lot of people. What are the different movies/series used in this?

[@connorbecamehuman6845]

Jelieb To The Bone, Red Band Society, My Mad Fat Diary, Feed, Skins, etc.

[@Lily-xn8cw]

Dance academy

[@cinnamongirl9779]

I hate that I heavily restrict and lose 5 lbs then go back to eating normally aka binging. Then I get so upset with myself and start going into a b/p phase and gain back the 5 - 10 lbs. Then the same cycle over and over again. People will never notice I have a problem because I’m constantly stuck losing the same 5 - 10 lbs and I have a healthy weight. I don’t think I deserve help because I’m not underweight. It’s honestly so mentally and physically draining. I’m sick of it.

[@aldcravens]

So raw and real. It makes me feel more understood in a way💜

[@strangerpotter4182]

It’s nice to cry sometimes and vent to such an amazing and real edit 😔❤️

[@tanjak1877]

Thank you for making this, I feel understood and seen 🥺

[@ch5635]

This... this hurt. That song (already so emotional on its own!) + this subject cut so deep, but this was really well done. I appreciate the focus less on food/image itself in favor of self worth and CONTROL as the catalysts. It felt much more real and tangible to me than videos I have seen about ED in the past.

[@justanothergaygenz]

sharing the secret is my favourite and i like that it was used throughout this edit

[@Julianajolie1]

your videos always make me feel less alone in this

[@amin6890]

i’m balling my eyes crying rn and i can’t stop

[@Whatever-bs3kq]

Just watching it after a binge. Oh god I’m so miserable I don’t know how to get back on track, I don’t even know if it makes sense anymore

[@Teag554]

I’m recovering from an Ed rn and this just broke me down in tears, I related to this on multiple levels 💔

[@JangmiiRosee]

I can't stop, and nobody helps. People either encourage it, ignore it, or say "just eat" . What am I supposed to do?

[@jordanallen5653]

i watch this at least once a week and it still gets me tearing up every. single. time

[@lizros18]

This so so sad and gorgeous

[@emmastone8779]

lizros18 gorgeous?

[@o0Basti0o]

As always im in Love with your video. I wish you an amazing start in the new year.

[@lavhayez]

This is incredible. I think this is the first edit I've seen that really focuses on how eating disorders aren't entirely about the weight. I feel like I can relate to this so much more than videos about people wanting to be thin to fit in or whatever and I really appreciate it.

[@montgomerymulti3594]

I cried for so long after watching this it’s so good xx

[@alexandra-sc4vm]

omg sorry if those comments were annoying sjsjsjjs. i wanted to respond back to some of the shows/movies so you didn’t have to. this is amazing by the way. i watch it everyday and it really reflects what i’m dealing with. amazing job ❤️❤️

[@hannahwilliams5681]

This is real. I remember trying to find videos that depicted them when I was going through it and I couldn't. That was a long time ago, but I still struggle sometimes, especially with the thoughts and it's hard because I've become overweight thanks to my thyroid and making up for all that time being miserable. I don't know how to find the balance and I'm miserable.

[@fandomsandfiction_]

love this. It's so sad how many people suffer like this.

[@AnnaM99]

This was SO good!!!! and heartbreaking and REAL. also i love you for using neon demon and to the bone !!!

[@npl5160]

i feel this in my soul. i was a lot bigger my freshman year of high school (2016) and was bullied for it constantly. so much that i decided i didn’t wanna feel like that ever again. i ended up switching schools, but over time i lost tons of weight. it definitely feels very often like becoming skinny will fix every problem i have, and to some degree...it did. i still see my classmates from my old school frequently (especially in summer) and when they saw how i looked, their attention towards me was completely different. they told me how pretty i had gotten over winter and that they wanted to hang out with me more. it just motivates me to keep going, i guess. idk. i know it’s not the best way to think, but i was just so tired of being emotionally tortured for my physical appearance, and if i’m being completely honest, it was refreshing to actually be “wanted” for a change...😔

[@izzyread1107]

I have watched your edits so many times and sometimes they are the only things that make me feel less alone 💗 thanks for uploading them in spite of how nervous it makes you feel. If you get the chance you should watch overshadowed, a tv show on bbc about a girl developing anorexia x

[@BarbaraMadimenos]

This gave me chills and flashbacks to my inpatient days. I hope when people watch this, they realize eating disorders are lethal illnesses. I hope the day comes that I can watch this and say they are feelings of the past, but until then, these images are moments of the present.

[@recklesswanderess.5741]

I relate so much to this oh my goodness this is so wonderfully done I... I have chills. Thank you again for making such a powerful video for such an underrated and ignored topic. All of the footage you’ve used is perfect.

[@hannahlovatox]

this hit me hard. i’m speechless.

[@crazimuch957]

Can I ask what all the clips are from? I recognize some like skins, glee, feed, but there are many I don't recognize.

[@danaisnthere]

And skam!!!

[@blossomnessstudios4446]

Some are from 'to the bone' and 'Binge'

[@leenakoponen5156]

Some are from Sharing the Secret, Likeness, Center Stage, Red Band Society, Gossip Girl.

[@bellasecretsify]

What they teach you in recovery in three minutes or less. ❤

[@satellitedude8943]

Jesus, every time I watch one of your videos on this subject (I have dx AN) I'm shocked by how completely accurate it is. It's like someone has pulled out my brain and put it into a video. It makes it a little more real in my world, seeing it like that, it takes it out of me a little bit and turns it into something tangible... Because it's easy to forget the ED is really a problem and not just how you are... Idk I'm struggling to express what I mean here...

[@strawberyyy9454]

I’ve always been told I’m fat or I eat to much, my parents even say it but they say it in different ways..I feel so uncomfortable when I wear a bikini I can’t stop eating....it makes me scared I’m never going to be skinny like my friends, pretty like my friends, their smiles are so beautiful than mine, I have no one to help me...

[@ramen4280]

My friend thinks i have anorexia. I do, but she always takes it as a joke and even i joke about it. when i skip meals she jokingly says “Oh u tryna be losing weight here?” BUT WHAT I CANT SAY IS THAT ITS NOT ALL ABOUT GETTING THINNER! ITS SO MUCH MORE BUT I CANT TELL HER BECAUSE I DONT WANT ANYONE TO KNOW

[@wiktoriao9241]

To everyone who feels like they are not thin enough, There is no thin enough, you are not perfect because perfect doesn’t exist. You are beautiful and you don’t need to be thin to prove that. So every time you feel like you are not beautiful enough and there is this voice in your head saying that you are ugly, fat and you need to lose weight, tell that voice that you will not listen to it because you won’t give up on yourself and if you listen to that voice it will destroy you. So please don’t listen to that voice. You are beautiful

[@nojams1368]

Did you delete your sad multifandom video with the song say something?? 😭 It was really nice!!

[@VEKProduction]

Nojams I did yes, but I’m thinking of reuploading it since it’s so highly requested. So it’s coming, soon!

[@nojams1368]

VEKProduction I’ll be looking forward to it!! ^^ ❤️

[@juliasanders3899]

There all so beautiful i wish i was that thin😢

[@cambi2797]

I’m not thin enough to be noticed

[@celesteodair1834]

this is so emotional and amazing, this is perfect !

[@aprilmisc]

i binged but i counted every bit of calorie.. im getting stuck in this cycle again.. and beginning to get into the mindset that i need to be perfect. i need to be skinny. i need to lose weight, whatever it takes. im getting in a spiral and slowly.. the thought of eating food makes me sick and the mental images of purging fills my mind

[@hollyx6371]

Heartbreakingly relatable.

[@starlight4013]

It's more why do I eat, binge eat, fill the void

[@vividtemptations6564]

You fuck me up with these videos. You always post them when I'm at that poimt where I just want to give up. And i want to say thank you cause you show me every single fucking time how stupid and self destroying I am. I may owe you my life for those videos, cause damn you get me back to my old self every time.(i already said that but who cares). I hope you are doing well. Ly💜

[@nataliesilva6141]

I wish more TV shows showed that not all people how have eating disorders are skinny and look sick. Some of us are bigger

[@simsterlife5123]

This is the best edit I have ever seen. Well done

[@alexise5555]

I get these thoughts in my head telling me not to eat, that I’ll get fat, gain weight, etc.. I try not to listen to them. but sometimes I’ll literally eat one thing a day. the next I eat so much when I’m with friends and I regret it and punish myself by eating so much less the next day. I hate it. I don’t want to develop an eating disorder. I haven’t told anyone about this but I need it out. Im trying.

[@camikari2899]

Are you ok? I...know how you feel.

[@eelisabeth100]

speechless, amazing and emotionally edit

[@carmitrose1818]

OMG i'm feeling really bad Watching This God Bless This Girls Fight for Your happiness You Don't need cry Food is Life I'm From Brazil XOXO 😍😍😘

[@connor7514]

Being skinny isnt being happy, starving yourself or throwing up after you eat is worse than anything, accept who you are if it's being overweight or skinny and if you don't like it work hard to be who you want to be don't just sit there and not eat if you're having trouble about this talk to someone, anyone that will care. being skinny isn't being pretty, being you is pretty.

[@stephhernandez8494]

my worst insecurity is my body i hate it and all my friends are perfectly skinny and im just a peice of shit everyone says im not fat but what am i i hate my body its not skinny its a little fat i feel scared going to public places with my friends bc all the guys check out my friends and i feel bad and i get compared to sometimes i get teased and people see me as a brat bc i hate myself but they dont know what it feels i even think about going aneroxic but idk anymore....

[@paulal.6944]

Really nice edit. I thought maybe you could put some Addresses or phone numbers where to get help in the description next time. I just think it would help some people. Lots of love 💕

[@dogagurbuz8308]

0:36 i wonder what's the name of this? Is it film or tv serie?

[@DCA-xs7rp]

this deservse more. the editing is sooo good

[@zaden-qr5ob]

This is so masterfully beautiful like always. I don't have a eating disorder, but this video helped me understand just a bit of the pain that they go through, so thank you. Also could anyone tell what show/movie is the girl at 2:53 she got me crying so hard.

[@dxnvers8382]

from where is the person saying "I'm curious though, do you think you're fat?"

[@leenakoponen5156]

From the movie Sharing the Secret (Alison Lohman plays the main character who has bulimia and it's her therapist says that to her.)

[@noraconstant8225]

This was beautifully made

[@rowen777]

these videos are a try not to relate challenge

[@irelandmarkus2696]

You know your getting worse when you start watching these agian

[@Laura-tf2pl]

I really love it . It's so beautifully made❤❤

[@real_words_1046]

i really feel this 2:48

[@tacos_are_life_and_im_tras7091]

This gave me chills i relate to a lot of these

[@gintokisstrawberrymilk]

SKAM IS IN HERE, DIDN'T KNOW YOU WOULD PUT IN A NORWEIGIAN SHOW OMG

[@VEKProduction]

The trash can i am norwegian lol

[@fervidfountain]

I'm stuck in a dark place. Eiher I'm starving myself as long as I can, or binging. I'm scared of gaining weight, but I don't do enough exercise to compensate for my calories. I'm an idiot. I'm legitimately fat. The only reason I eat is because I don't want my family or my partner to worry. I just want to be lovely.

[@rachelmasonn]

where is the one with bella thorne from??

[@isabellaramirez5460]

Red band society

[@julbs]

Perfect high

[@insinityy]

I only feel skinny when I'm hungry..

[@valerie9906]

I know some people can’t relate or anything but, whenever I do anything I get called anything, like if I’m scared to go on the roller coaster I’m a baby, if I think I have some extra chub on me, my mom says I’m gorgeous?...

[@charlottehill15]

I know the scenes with the bigger girl are from My Mad Fat Diary which I cannot recommend enough. Heartbreaking TV show. Other things I recognise are 'To the Bone' and 'Feed.' The scenes which seem much less recent due to quality are 'Sharing the Secret' - a film about bulimia. Also very recommended.

[@ameliepage7354]

i don’t want to be myself anymore.

[@dogagurbuz8308]

0:33 what's the name of tv serie or movie?

[@orageorange3971]

"The road within" and "Center stage"

[@bethanjones2712]

I want to have an eating disorder so I can blame that for the way I feel

[@tamara9747]

Hey, just wanted to tell you that I hope you get better❤️

[@sugayoongi2956]

I'm not allowed to watch most of these..my parents know that I just watch this sort of stuff to trigger myself

[@sofiemendoza8228]

this is beautiful..I love all your work so much 💗

[@kellypyle2603]

For a month I had to force myself to eat because when the pain came from not eating I tried to ignore it but I realized I had a problem when I realized I hadn't eaten in 2 days.

[@VEKProduction]

❤️❤️

[@emilybluntt4473]

Omg it's Kat from dance academy !!

[@Chiisantemmie]

Maybe if I was skinny people would actually care about me

[@julianasucksdong8765]

i feel that my family knows i have an ed, but they don’t really give a shit lol. i told my mom about how i want a scale and she points out how i always would get on it to check my weight, and tells me it’s an addiction, of course i denied that it’s an addiction but i genuinely feel that it’s not (probably just my ed talking but yeah) yet still gets me a scale. no clue wtf to do tbh

[@chesterdidzena671]

Be happy n stop worrying of your beauty u have stop being so hurtful

[@daryawolf4348]

Unfortunately, that’s such a bullshit. From being really plump girl i got skinny, like those girls, yeah. Everything I had were bones and skin. I used to think the same way, like my problems depend on my appearance. U know what? Nothing has changed. Nothing. I regret starving myself for over a year so much, because my troubles stayed with me, but I only developed 3 mental illnesses and ruined my physical health. It doesn’t worth it. +Even if you were thin, it would never be enough Stop treat yourself like that. I know what I‘m talking about, cases I‘ve been through it

[@thisisMackenzies]

if someone hasn't already could you drop a list of the shows & movies?

[@Craftergirl]

I relapsed back into my eating disorder

[@diga1234567890ify]

Can you please please write down all the tvshows/ movies these clips were taken from. I know a couple: red band society, gossip girl, feed, girlboss and famous in love ( even though there was no eating disorder), to the bone. The rest are very new to me

[@scarabrae7915]

And a girl like her, the neon demon, sharing the secret, edge of seventeen, bates motel, feed, dance academy, skins, Riverdale, the road within, SKAM, my mad fat diary

[@laura-xb4rz]

for the love of nancy

[@ClonesandGuns]

Aaand... I'm dead.. A M A Z I N G thank you ♥

[@magdalenaholzer4858]

Just thank you for that!❤️

[@Aceofdiamonds22]

I've been caught purging before and I went pale and lightheaded I just said I felt sick it worked cause I don't really get sick much but it worked.

[@poppy4242]

Today my mom said she's going to send me to an eating disorder clinic if I carry on not eating and I'm so scared...

[@QueenOfVampires]

Amazing as always

[@Lavender-zn5fv]

I'm just like these girls I'm starving myself I skip breakfast I skip lunch and I only eat a little dinner an drink lots of water I'm in tears right now

[@camikari2899]

There are people out there who care about you. Please remeber that.