i was pregnant. now i'm not. | my story so far

00:00 intro & disclaimer
02:34 my fertility journey up until now
13:19 the info i've never shared
14:38 our first embryo transfer
17:00 what i find out after
19:00 our plan for the second transfer
21:13 our second embryo transfer
22:29 finding out i'm pregnant
24:30 being pregnant
30:38 finding out i lost the baby
32:45 my d&c experience
36:07 how i'm feeling, what's next
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BUS INQ: [e-mail]

[@yelizavetas3915]

Never thought I'd care so much for a person I don't know in real life

[@hellokaity]

Same here 😢

[@C4r1y1996]

Facts

[@estrella7055]

Same ♥️♥️

[@viviandiaz6040]

Same 😞❤

[@juliek63]

Same 💔

[@hannalourathouz5726]

Hi Chandler I am the result of my mom's egg and donor sperm! My sister also does not have the same donor sperm as I do. Personally, my parents using donor sperm has honestly only made me closer to my dad. I cherish him so much and knowing that I am not technically biologically related to him but feeling biologically related to him is honestly a really beautiful thing. The idea that my sister is my half-sister is also like not even relevant to me. I barely even think about how we were made with different biological sperm. My dad wrote me this letter before I was born where he reflected on how he was sad that he couldn't give his biology to me, that he couldn't give me everything I may have wanted, but also how I came out more perfect than he could ever imagine. This letter I will cherish forever because it is evidence of how hard my parents tried and their neverending well of love for me. Anyways I hope I can provide a little insight into being the actual child (I'm still only 19 now) of a sperm donor and my mom's sperm. Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable

[@chandlerainsleyvlogs]

this is so sweet and i read this to haden. thank you for sharing ❤️

[@Clumsylyd]

As someone who is a result of donor sperm (and sister with a different sperm donor), I resonate with the comment so much ❤️

[@irenestrongrock4106]

This comment is amazing. My husband and I used donor sperm and my eggs, and we are very open with our daughter about where she was from and how deeply, completely, fervently she is loved and exactly who she was always meant to be. Reading your story makes me so so happy, this is exactly what we hope our daughter grows up and feels/knows. Thank you for sharing this!

[@momomac3760]

My situation is a little different, but my step father is the only paternal figure I've ever had. My biological father passed when I was young, but even if he had lived, based on his character, he wouldn't have been in my life much as he hadn't been around for my teenaged siblings. It is the same for my older brother. Our step dad has been his only paternal figure. Biology is just that: biology. A blood relation to a parent does not mean they will be a mother or a father. It is the intention, consistency, and dedication that makes a parent. I share no blood with my step dad but he is the only father I've ever had and ever will have. I am who I am today in part bc of him.

[@thedouglaspodcast]

Is the letter a lie cause you said your dad said he wrote that *_before_* you were born……… but that he wrote _”you came out more perfect than he could’ve imagined”_ 😩

[@kaylahaas]

Pregnancy is the most terrifying experience. No matter how much we talk enough about the reality of pregnancy and childbirth, you truly just can’t fathom what the experience will be like until it’s you. You are so strong, Chandler. It cannot be overstated how resilient you are.

[@SirenASMR_]

This is why i decided not to have kids cuz I knew somehow it’s not healthy for a woman’s body and destroys it to become pregnant and give birth . Didn’t have a supportive family either so I did not want to do it alone . Sad but this is how it is . I will have cat kids once I am able to finish massage school and get away from my entire family

[@lalunanova1]

Hi Chandler, I've been a silent viewer for years now but I feel like I have to let you know how much I appreciate you sharing your story. I was also pregnant last month and now I'm not and I felt like nobody truly understood my grief. Watching this now, I relate to so many of the feelings you're sharing. Everyday since I have wished that I was still pregnant, but at the same time I know I'm not yet ready to try again. This time has shown me how important it is to have a partner you love and trust absolutely to lean on. I would not have been able to get through this time without my husband. I'm so glad you have Haden and I know you were both meant to be parents. When you get your rainbow, just know that this stranger on the internet is going to be so incredibly happy for you.

[@chandlerainsleyvlogs]

i’m so sorry for your loss. it’s not fair! one day we’ll both have kiddos, i’m sure of it ❤️

[@lalunanova1]

@@chandlerainsleyvlogs Thank you girly, yes we have so much to look forward to still! ❤

[@glenngwenya1084]

​@@lalunanova1I was also pregnant with twins until 2/03/24 when my water broke at 23 weeks and one of my girls was born still and her twin sister passed away after spending 5 days in the NICU. It is the most heart breaking event to happen to anyone and I don't think I will ever be the same😢😢. I am so sorry for your loss ladies.

[@abie9203]

I appreciate you sharing your story❤ I can’t wait for your rainbow baby

[@beatricelucas385]

“Bad things happen but I think good things happen too” YES THEY DO. Wishing you the best of luck with your rainbow baby 🌈 ❤

[@ladyblakeney]

My parents had similar infertility issues and ultimately adopted myself and my sister. IVF was too expensive and not as successful in the 80s, and adoption was a lot more accessible. Definitely hard for both of them to work through, but they were amazing parents and I'm so thankful for them. My own experience with pregnancy loss happened two years ago. I was 30 weeks and developed eclampsia and lost him. Losing a pregnancy is so hard regardless of how far along you are, and everyone grieves that differently. As long as you remember to be gentle with yourself and allow yourself to grieve at your own pace, there's no wrong way to deal with loss. I truly thought I would never have a child after we lost our son, but two years later I'm sitting here with my perfect baby in my lap. The universe makes all things right in it's own time.

[@AbbyCarissimo]

I was tearing up through this entire thing, but “I hate that this is my reality” is where I really lost it. As someone in the beginning stages of the infertility process, it’s one of the things I think the most, and isn’t something I really ever hear people talk about or say. Sending you all the healing vibes.

[@corinnabee1018]

As someone who has walked the infertility road, I am grieving with and for you. Our stories are different in many ways but the feeling of what if is the same. My third miscarriage was also a missed miscarriage - my protocol had me continuing progesterone until 12 weeks and I had an ultrasound at 11w5d where we discovered our baby had died appx 2 weeks before. I was so hopeful because I was literally two days away from stopping the progesterone. I ended up having a d&c as well in that case and as someone who has experienced both miscarrying naturally ( in the middle of a work day no less) and a d&c - totally agree that d&c is preferable and I feel terribly for those who don’t have access to one. All that to say, we have two children now who have made it all worth it and you will have yours someday too. You and Haden are so strong and will be such amazing parents. It’s the shittiest garbage to have to go through but I believe it has made me a better, more empathetic person and has made my husband and I even better as a team (also hs sweethearts - 15 years in, 7 yrs married) - I know it will be the same for you. Do you. Enjoy the things you love, eat the cookies, soak in those kitty boys, and know so many people are in your corner (even virtually 😂❤).

[@chandlerainsleyvlogs]

thank you for this. you’re spot on about the empathy. this whole process has changed me for the better. and i’m so glad you have your babies. it will be me too one day ❤️

[@rochellemarkham7007]

I didn’t know it was possible to care so much about someone I don’t personally know. I am so sorry you are going through this, I love you❤

[@maddiekopecki1614]

I lost a baby at 19 and the trauma was unreal. I know all of our angel babies are playing together somewhere 🥺🖤

[@BlackCatBritt]

As a childfree adult I feel I have no real place to say anything except for how proud I am of you and how strong you have been on this whole journey. I wish nothing but the best outcomes from here on out for you and your family 💗💗💗

[@hypoverzum631]

it's so sad that you had to say in the beginning that 'please don't judge'. i don't even know nor want to know what kind of people would judge someone for these choices you made, i see nothing controversial, just a person researching and deciding what's best for them. you made the choice you needed to make, and it is all valid. in university, i had a course on IVF, and we had to write an essay so we could get grades. i chose to write about the ethical and moral dilemmas surrounding this topic, and let me tell you, i am of the firm belief that in these sensitive matters really really all choices are valid you make for yourself after careful consideration. it's really good to see how you do your research and think about the possibilities this deep. i really hope that you will achieve your goal! it is HUGE that you could get pregnant, i'm sure it will happen again! and always hope, it is an enormous boost! hope and 'happiness hormones' can raise your chances by a lot! best wishes 🧡

[@xcitipopx]

You are such a champion for overcoming everything you've been hit with. As a queer woman who knows IVF is in her future, I really appreciate you sharing your journey. I'm hoping for the best for you and Hayden!!

[@emmabostian2608]

As someone who’s currently going through my eighth miscarriage you’re not alone, even if it feels like it

[@amandalagerfeld6849]

So so sorry for your loss. Wishing you brighter roads ahead.

[@ZZhorses]

Have you been checked for blood clotting disorders?

[@emmabostian2608]

@@ZZhorses yes

[@aprilsmithswe]

Oh wow-I am so sorry!

[@ezra7088]

You must be super strong and incredible (admit it, continuing on 8 times is incredible). Whatever u choose going forwards is valid. I've always been in favor of adoption, but I know that can be really expensive and complicated. Most importantly, miscarrying doesn't say anything about you as a person, it's not your fault. Sending you love and support❤❤

[@chickentender1804]

I just lost my baby girl at 33weeks. I am so sorry for your loss. 😞 ❤

[@madeleinet6224]

I'm sorry for your loss😭, were you given a vaccine right before that happened?

[@PomsNTomsMom92]

I'm sorry for your loss. 😔❤️

[@CoreyViruz]

😭 I’m so sorry for your loss, heartbreaking ❤️‍🩹 to hear that at 33 weeks.

[@juliastafflersjourney]

I am incredible sorry for your loss❤️‍🩹

[@sherriewhite5348]

I’m not really a hugger…but I wish I could hug you…I’ve experienced secondary infertility…only attempted clomid because our insurance didn’t cover anything else. Was thrilled to get pregnant. Made it to 12 weeks, even saw the heartbeat…but our levels started to slowly decrease. In the end, I had a d&c…I miss that baby…I stopped treatment and 5 years later, got pregnant with my rainbow baby. They’re 22 now. I have no doubt that however your children come to y’all, they will be the luckiest lil baby EVER! 💜💜💜

[@MissManicMellie]

You’re so strong Chandler. I am childfree by choice and I cannot IMAGINE the emotional turmoil both you and Hayden are going through. I am so sorry for your loss, your rainbow baby will come when the time is right. Let Hayden know we all care for him too

[@nikkiknack]

I am so sorry for your and Haden's loss. Grief and invisible grief (grieving the possibility of something) are so hard and frankly not talked about enough. Thank you for sharing your journey with us

[@currentlyreading_]

The fact that you keep chugging forward …that’s the essence of being a mother. Looking forward to the day it happens for you. Sending love. ❤

[@kellieh4807]

Chandler I am so sad to hear this. It's been such an uphill battle for you, this is heart breaking. I hope you have some people around who can support you in what ever way you need right now.

[@nomdeplume2213]

Im RH- so I've had 6 miscarriages.... and 2 daughters who are 18 and 10 ❤ 97% of women have had at least 1 miscarriage. Many don't even know they've had one they just think they had a late heavy period.... miscarriages are more common than pregnancy honestly and yet we act like it never happens.

[@davyrantucci]

Be sure to get the Rhogam after each loss too! I’m Rh- as well. 1 miscarriage but 9 children…however my miscarriage was my 3 rd pregnancy, and I didn’t know to get the shot after a loss too. It’s an easy oversight by doctors.

[@samjz123]

I’m so sorry. I miscarried twin girls conceived with Letrozole after struggling with infertility. It’s been almost 5 months and it still hurts. There are no words that can take away the pain but I wish there was. Sending lots of positive thoughts your way.

[@amymcquillan403]

Can I just say, that the disclaimer at the beginning was so well spoken while also setting boundaries. I’m so sorry for your loss ❤

[@shaylaatiles]

Chandler, I’m so proud of you. So endlessly proud of you and your resilience. You went through hell and high water. Absolutely incredible and selfless. I hope you and your husband are taking care of yourselves. Sending love your way 🤍

[@morganingram3374]

I had a missed miscarriage at 8.5 weeks, and one of the hardest parts for me is mourning that I won't have a baby this year. I was also going to have a newborn on my birthday, and it felt so right. I'm so sorry for your loss, you're so strong. Be kind to yourself when you start this process back up, I know it's different with IVF, but it just brings back up a lot of feelings. I'm only 2 months past mine, but sending you love for your future ❤

[@jennycarter8982]

I had a miscarriage technically at 17 weeks which is pretty close to a still birth. The baby was supposed to be born near my birthday which is quickly approaching. It makes it more difficult somehow and selfishly I feel my birthday is ruined.

[@FourPawsandaBook]

I'm so sorry Chandler. The roller coaster of emotions you have been on is something few people can imagine. I appreciate you talking about trying to get back into life after this process. I went back to work 4 days after a D&E at 19 weeks. Was it the best thing for me? Probably not, but I couldn't imagine just laying in bed wondering what it could've been like. I think trying to move forward and figure out next steps is 100% a way to cope and for our brains to make sense of the trauma. I know you have people in your life and a strong support system, but my DMs are always open if you need

[@chandlerainsleyvlogs]

thanks friend. i hate that you've been through this too

[@nancymakeupify]

I’m so sorry for your loss 😢 I had an MMC earlier this year and I wouldn’t wish this pain on anyone. My baby stopped growing at 7 weeks and I didn’t find out until 13 weeks so I completely understand the terrible feeling of finding out your baby has been there but not and not even knowing it. I opted for medical management because I could start it right away rather than waiting for a D&C and spending longer knowing my baby was dead inside of me, but if I could have had surgery the day I found out, I would have. I’ve been having counselling and my counsellor ends every session by saying “take care of yourself” and she always emphasises the word care. So, take *care* of yourself xxx

[@NaomiElizabeth96]

Honestly this woman is so strong and amazing , honestly any women going through this shit is amazing and strong and incredible I just adore this woman xx

[@HaleyJeanASMR]

chandler, you are an absolute gem. thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your experience(s), i know it will impact and help many. hugs to you and Hayden. ❤🫂

[@pleasemyplants3447]

You've got me crying at work. I know you said you love KZbin and being able to have this outlet, but I want to say thank you. Thanks for letting us into your life and giving me a new perspective on things that I don't know that much about in my current stage of life.

[@rebeccamartin6849]

Hi. I stumbled across this video in my suggested feed. I have endometriosis, PCOS, pelvic floor dysfunction, fibro and and whole other bunch of issues. I was told from the time I was 14 that I would never get pregnant naturally, and if I were to get pregnant with medical intervention, I may not carry the pregnancy and definitely not to term. We’ll fast forward, I got pregnant at 24, and had my baby boy at 25, actually overdue lol. Then we found out that we were pregnant again in august, this last year, and we were very excited for our son to be a big brother. We had went in for an ultrasound at the end of October, and the heartbeat was so strong and babe was just a little jumping bean. Then we had set up a gender ultrasound at a private boutique because I couldn’t wait to find out, and luckily we didn’t wait. The anticipation and excitement was immense that day. I had been in the er the day before with influenza a, so I was very sick to begin with but we were doing the ultrasound. We get called back, and the tech, who did our ultrasound for George, she held the wand to my belly and I saw just for a second, and I knew…. I looked at my fiancé, who was grinning and he said what am I looking at, I instantly started bawling, and the tech said I need to give your doctors a call, and then that’s when he knew. She went and called, and then she came back in and said that the office would give us a call. I was 18 weeks and 2 days, but our baby had passed away at 14 weeks, just a couple days after we had last seen them and heard the heartbeat. We had a scheduled D&C that Monday and they sent the baby to pathology and to the geneticist because I wanted to know what they were, I needed to name that baby. We found out that there was nothing genetically wrong with the baby, which made it really hard for me because had they had the whole pregnancy, we’d have another healthy child. It was a malformation of the placenta. The genetic report came back and we had a little girl, and her name is Nora Ann, and her c-section date was the 8th and her due date is actually today. Hang in there mama, you’ll get your baby… we’re here for you love ❤️❤️

[@rachaeldaggett8087]

This video couldn't have come at a better time. In a string of several dark days and feeling completely isolated and alone in this journey, your openness and honesty was amazing to hear. Thank you from the bottom of my heart ❤️

[@gingersnappedreads]

you’re not alone 🤍 sending love your way, the strength you have just simply putting this out there for the world to see is amazing itself.

[@leemcclory7204]

Sending you love. It’s important to share stories like this, both for the people who have experienced this and for those who have never. I’m impressed by your strength.

[@vitL826]

I'm so sorry for what you've been through. I've followed your channel on and off in the last couple of years because of your book reviews and was surprised to hear you talking about your IVF experience. I've just finished my first cycle for unexplained infertility, fresh transfer failed and I'm preparing for a FET next. I feel your pain about your body betraying you and having to make peace with having to go through this. I can only say THANK YOU for talking about IVF, your loss, your choices and your experience so openly. I wish more people did.

[@MeganLarabee]

I am so so sorry for your loss, Chandler. Thank you for sharing your story with all of us and being so open and vulnerable. It will help others so much and I hope it helps in your healing journey as well.

[@obsmama]

Thank you for sharing and being so vulnerable. I’m rooting so hard for your family and feel so blessed to touched by your little corner of the internet.

[@jilltatro9324]

I’m so sorry for your loss and all of the struggle that goes with your journey. I appreciate your candid and honest account. I pray things work out for you in whatever way is best! ♥️♥️♥️

[@Alcop0ps]

I started watching you late last year so I've heard a lot about this journey for you and I'm sending you so so much love. You're so strong and I appreciate you being so open with your experiences. You absolutely got this. I wish you and your husband luck for anything you decide to do in the future.

[@laurenmiller149]

Thank you for continuing to be so candid Chandler. I cannot imagine the spectrum of emotions you've both been going through; to articulate all this so succinctly and openly is incredible. As someone who may have to go through IVF in the future, I've learned so much and cannot thank you enough for sharing.

[@hannahmorgan5040]

I’m so unbelievably sorry, sending you guys so much love❤️ I had a pregnancy loss late last year after undergoing fertility treatments, it’s the most emotionally grueling thing I’ve ever gone through. I’m so glad you’re taking care of yourself.

[@jenwullstein7908]

I have been watching your videos for years and you continue to amaze me. I can't get over your eloquence even in the face of such sadness and adversity. To speak so openly and succinctly about your experience is helping so many who are currently (or afraid of) going through the same thing. I am also impressed (but not surprised) by the care and sensitivity you show your viewers. You are going to be a great Mom Chandler! I am sending you healing thoughts ❤

[@tash94]

I’m so sorry. There are no words. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your story. You are not alone in this grief & heartbreak. We see you. We love you. We are with you.

[@losterthanlife]

Thank you for being willing to share, I know you will help people by giving them this to relate to. I am proud of you, for whatever that means from an internet stranger who relates more than I ever wished to.

[@ericabolling8362]

I had 5 miscarriages before having my miracle baby and 10 months later I ended up getting pregnant again and by the grace of God I’m 19 weeks. What kept me going was hope and thinking positive. It’s amazing how resilient we as humans can be sometimes. I pray for you and your family. It’ll happen for you I just know it. Editing to add I actually did ivf as well and my first transfer didn’t work but my second did with a genetically normal embryo and I still miscarried and it was a grade B baby. My story is pretty crazy but I never once lost hope even when it seemed like I would never be a minx I just knew I would. All of that to say please don’t ever lose hope. It’ll happen.

[@erinj3680]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending you and Hayden all the good vibes while you process and heal. 💚

[@gemojii]

I so so appreciate you being so transparent with this. So many women go through this alone and only hear about the success stories. So much respect for you and your resilience. Sending so much love and hope to you and Haden ❤

[@stephaniestrok7031]

I am so insanely sorry for your loss. Your resilience though is out of this world and is a true testament to the kind of absolute baddie of a mother you’re going to be in the future ❤

[@monoel2301]

So proud of you. Your decision to share your story will be such a help to others and help you on your journey thru grief as well. Love you. Can’t wait to see you with your perfect little baby someday soon! Sending so much love!! 💕

[@hannahbowers3684]

I’ve been watching you for years, You are a comfort creator for me and I hope that your community’s support brings you comfort and peace. In a parasocial way, I am here for you and if there was anything I could do I would!

[@Kmob795]

I am so sorry to you and Haden both :( there are just no words. Sending you both love and healing energy 🤍 you both deserve the world and this is so heart breaking.

[@maddyvogel4525]

chandler i'm so sorry. i've been following your IVF journey from the beginning. my whole heart goes out to you. i wish you and haden the best

[@samanthahubachek106]

I’m so sorry that you guys had to go through this. It’s going to be very helpful for someone that you’re sharing this. I was blown away when I got pregnant how absolutely awful it was and how no one talks about it. It took us 10 years but we got there. All the luck to you both.

[@RedtsunamiTed]

I have been through it and built up resilience same as you. That resilience has carried me through hard times in my life and allowed me to support others in a mindful and empathetic way. Thank you for sharing Chandler and I wish you and yours peace in the coming weeks.

[@tonyamariexo]

You are so inspiring to share your journey, especially so soon! Sending so much love and support 🫶

[@dearD4NI]

I’m so sorry for your loss, Chandler. Give Hayden our love too ❤️

[@flaviaaalouise]

Sending you all the love during this time in your life. I appreciate you and your honesty so much. 💜💜💜

[@GettingHyggeWithIt]

Oh I'm so incredibly sorry to hear this. I also had a missed miscarriage at 12 weeks. My baby had stopped growing at 9 weeks 5 days. It was the hardest thing because you're excited about the ultrasound and then it ends up being so sad. I remember asking if I could just keep the baby inside and let it become a part of me (I know ... irrational but I was in that state). I ended up having a d&c as well. After having another ultrasound and going in to get my uterus back to being healthy again I eventually did IVF and have my 4.5 year old daughter now. I am ABSOLUTELY wishing the same experience for you. I hope you are patient with your heart through the grief of this loss. And I hope you have your beautiful rainbow baby. Sending you so much love.

[@janewaysmom]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you are healing well emotionally speaking. I can't even imagine what you must be feeling right now.

[@aubreyrusso8819]

I’m so sorry chandler, you’re strength is an inspiration

[@katebethanreads]

im sorry to you and anyone who has gone through this. you are an amazing strong woman. sending as much love and support your way as I can.

[@CarrenaBoone]

I’m so sorry Chandler. Sending you and Hayden so much love. Thank you for sharing your story!

[@samanthawheaton3276]

I'm so sorry. This is heartbreaking. You have been through so much emotionally and physically. Sharing all of your vulnerability here is incredible. Thank you for being willing to do that.

[@kellieh4807]

I've been trying with my husband and we're getting to the point where we know something is wrong but aren't sure yet. Honestly, up until this point, I had never even considered what IVF might be like. It wasn't until you started sharing your experiences that I really understood what all went into it, and how much of an undertaking it is. It's just another silent thing that people go through all to try to have a baby. I totally relate to you saying its like staring at a barrel, it's so stressful.

[@chandlerainsleyvlogs]

i will say, and i think i say it in the video that i have no regrets about it. it’s emotionally trying but physically not as bad as i thought. hopefully you don’t have to go that route but if you do, you’ve got this. you’re right though, a lot of people are quiet about it. thankfully i never shut up :)

[@tayloralexa6237]

I am so sorry for your and Hayden’s loss. Thank you for sharing with us and wishing you the best of luck moving forward with your next transfer.

[@suezebee]

Thank you for sharing your experience. You’re helping so many people feel seen and we are all sending you love! ❤️

[@KatieColson]

Wow, I knew I would tear up. But I didn’t expect this reaction. I cried FOR you. You are taking this all on your shoulders for an entire army. I can only imagine the grief and anticipation and anxiety. It’s inspiring to watch because it shows someone who is doing everything they can with the information they have and the amenities they can afford. I know I’m coming from a place of total ignorance, but I am so proud of you. Also, so heartbroken for you. But more proud than anything

[@brianahodgkinson474]

wishing you brighter roads ahead chandler and haydn. we'll be here for you the whole way 💕

[@christinaburnett7166]

Thank you for sharing! Despite it being a tough story and long uphill venture, its wonderful to hear updates. You got this

[@isabellapece8302]

Hey Chandler, I’ve been a watcher since quarantine days and just wanted to reach out and say I’m so sorry for your loss! I’m sending good vibes your ways 🤍🤍

[@laynie1620]

i so admire your strength and your attitude in the face of hardship. i've never had any kind of experience even similar to what you've been through but i was crying right along with you! sending so much love to you and haden ♥

[@KalynAbridged]

Oh Chandler you are so stinking strong, I can’t fathom how difficult this whole process is. I’m crying for and with you, and sending you and your husband love. 💕

[@SillyCelly411]

I’m praying for you (and everyone else in this comment section) - I hope peace, comfort, empathy, courage, support, and gentleness finds you. You are doing so much just by sharing your story.

[@danikaseide1468]

So sorry you two have been through all of this, you spoke so eloquently, my heart goes out to you. Thank you for sharing your story with us.

[@tiana8300]

thank you for sharing your story and trusting us with this. you and Hayden have been in my thoughts and I am sending you both so much love. you both are such an inspiration to me and I'm manifesting a beautiful future for you both💕

[@lauf22]

Lots of love and support to both of you. This is a journey and it has not been easy but you guys are so brave to handle this and share it as well. I’m happy that you have supporting people around you and a doctor that understanding you. Good luck❤

[@sassysarahreads]

I’m sending so much love to you and Haden. I cried the entire video. Thank you for sharing your journey and being brave enough to set boundaries for yourself and this space to keep you safe. I can’t wait to see you continue to live your life because that’s also how I cope with trauma, and it can bring a lot of healing for those who need it. Wishing you all the best in your next part of the IVF journey. 💖

[@katiebecker4022]

I truly hope the best for you! You are my favorite booktuber and I’m so sorry your going through such a hard time. I wish i could give you a big hug.im sending you all the love and support and postive vibes. Thank you for sharing such a hard thing. 💜💜💜

[@hannahnagle1578]

Just want to chime in and say you're not alone. I've lost two babies now and it never gets easier (not what you want to hear, I'm sure), but you're not alone. My heart goes out to you.

[@ffiontill5924]

Jesus this fucking broke me a bit. I’ve followed chandler for years and honestly love and care for her and Hayden. But you are both so strong for going through all of this, you tried your damn hardest. You can honestly get through the toughest circumstances and make it through the other side. Wow. Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable. You and Hayden will be parents and have that beautiful family, whatever that looks like, you will make it work and it will be a different version of your dreams but that happiness will come. I’m not religious but I do believe that you will get this💗 love you Chandler x

[@weichiehking]

I've been following you for years, and always amazed by your charisma and passion about things. You are stronger than you think and you can get through this, everything will be just alright. Have faith :) Sending you and your family lots of love and hugs

[@blueclue57]

My feeling at the end here is a bit of joy.. you are getting so much experience. You are really building more and more strength. It is all good progress. Keep moving forward and keep pursuing your goal. What a good attitude you have. I am cheering for you!

[@caitlyngarris8278]

Thank you for being so real! Thank you for showing that it is ok to be yourself and express your feelings. I always hide how I feel so others don’t judge. Your story has touched me. Not just because of your loss but how confident you are in just being yourself and embracing your feelings. Thank you for being so raw!!!!!

[@kori_bb]

As an OR nurse, D&C cases, ectopic pregnancies etc are some of the most emotionally raw experiences I have ever witnessed 💔 thank you for sharing your story

[@ashleyroldan642]

Wow! Thank you for sharing & being so vulnerable with us. Life’s really so unpredictable & I wish you and your husband lots of love & healing.

[@vanessacalkins2254]

Thank you for sharing so openly - this was a brave video. Ditto on the comments others have left about caring so much about someone I haven’t ever met. You have a whole community of people behind you on this journey. ❤

[@kellyleber7657]

Your strength is incredible ❤

[@PistachioGold]

I cried for you Chandler, I am so so so sorry that it's being so hard 😢😢😢 sending you so much love and wishing that healthy baby into your future ❤❤

[@Day-dw2cs]

I’m so sorry, Chandler. Hope you and Hayden heal at your own time, know that you have us and our prayers and thoughts always, thank you for sharing your story. Sending you so much love, I know in my heart everything is gonna work out ❤️‍🩹

[@ruthiehawks3052]

thank you for sharing with us 🤍 i'm so sorry again for everything you've had to go through. i know there's not much we can do through the screen, but we're always here for anything we can do to help you through ❤

[@smokeysapphire82]

I don't really have words, but just want to give support and thank you for sharing. And i really appreciate and agree with you on not judging or speculating on how people cope with hard things.

[@professor_reads]

Sending ❤ and healing through this screen. Appreciate your vulnerability and how much you share. I think it’s amazing that you’ve gone through so much already on this journey. I’m so glad you and Haden have a good support system and what sounds like great medical folks in your corner. I’m so sorry you’ve had to experience so much loss.

[@dancenutcracker7502]

Chandler, I’m so sorry for what you are going through ❤ You speak so honestly and eloquently. Thank you for sharing your story and bringing awareness to infertility and miscarriage. I’m so hopeful that you will have your baby. You deserve happiness ❤️

[@headphonebooks7319]

I’m so sorry for yours and Haden’s loss! Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your experience. I haven’t been where you are but I empathize with you and my heart breaks for you and Haden. I know you’ll definitely have your kiddo one day but I also know how hard it is to get your hopes up about something only for them to come crashing down. Infertility is definitely an uphill battle. Thanks for sharing your story with us and I hope things will get better for you! 💞

[@Kekeaux]

I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your story. I know it's difficult to share and be so vulnerable. I hope one day that you have a successful pregnancy. You and Hayden will be great parents.

[@JemmaSimmons_]

I'm so sorry you guys went through this ❤️ I'm glad you're still hopeful, hope keeps us going :) Make videos when you feel like, whether it's right now, or like weeeeeks away if you change you're mind, we'll all be waiting patiently and wishing you the best ❤❤

[@TheLoveLibrarian]

You and Hayden are in my thoughts🤍. Pregnancy and pregnancy loss is hard and you’ve inspired so many people by sharing your journey to parenthood.

[@mizzmarzie2912]

I am so sorry for everything you've been through. You are so strong and brave for sharing your experience. I have gone through my own pregnancy journeys, which included a pregnancy loss, and I think talking about it openly really helps individuals who have gone through similar experiences feel less alone. My thoughts are with you both. Don't listen to any judgements because every decision and feeling you have is valid, and what's right for you.

[@myreadsbooks]

Proud of you! Take care of yourself however that looks to you, who cares what anyone else thinks. Sending good luck on your future journey, and happy you’ll be back here for a bit. ❤

[@beecaro4412]

im so sorry, this is devastating. 🥺 i wish you so much luck on your journey.