Identity (self and social) and typology ramble

[@radishraven9]

Hi thanks for the shoutout! The discussion with my infj friend was maybe like 3-4 years ago about our sense of identity. This was before we found out we were both into typology! 😮 There needs to be both parts, the internal sense of self and the external witness of the self. Neither is more objective or "true" than the other. But i think depending on your type you will start at one end or the other and slowly with time realize it is a combination. Lol i can relate to that kind of conversation, like i don't know? 😅 i don't have an opinion either way and if i do, i know i won't be swayed or sway the other person. It is weird to hear my words in your mouth, haha sounds much more smart when you say it 😂

[@dulles1969]

Definitely agree, identity has to come at it from both ends. It's something of a shock (maybe to some or most INFPs?) to realize that other people see us differently than we see ourselves. I mean it's obvious once it's brought up... but it's not something we think about. And I'm really, really grateful that you talked about INFP values because I think you bring up common conclusions for people who lead with Fi/Ne. And by the way I did like the way you and Bufo brought up topics of feminism and misogyny and so forth. Unlike the political stuff, you do not force a correct perspective, you just speak of your experiences, thoughts and opinions. That's helpful. I don't know enough to have a position, but I understand the reason it's brought up, so it's a treat to listen. 🙂

[@vondelpete]

Very well said. This balance really needs to be taken into account - how you see yourself is huge, but there's this big missing piece - there certainly was for me - when you're young and you think you know yourself and what you're putting out to the world, and then one day you realise that your own perception isn't everything. This is obviously a huge part of Fi too. On the other hand, typology - for instance, typing a celebrity based on an interview and what they're putting out there on screen - isn't telling the whole story either. So it's important to remember that. I like your description of the family lunch - questions of why a particular topic is needed to be spoken about and opinions are stated in a way that's supposed to make you change your mind on something (that you may not be that interested in) is...very relatable. Now and then I like to think that having Fi as a lead function makes it easier for me to step back and question the importance of what I'm doing, or what people are doing. But then, there are plenty of lead Fi users who struggle with this too, so who knows. Anyway always great for a Dulles video to pop up on my feed, great to see you again after a short while!

[@dulles1969]

Thanks Pete! The travel season's started (getting on a plane first thing tomorrow morning) and I didn't want to sit on Ingrid's brilliant thoughts for another week. For better or worse there's no escaping labels or being labeled, the whole politics-as-tribe thing is just one more way. Discernment or divisive... Aha, speaking of labels and discernment and belonging, back to Santigold and being Unstoppable -- check out the video "Guy Starts Dance Party". It's pretty funny. For all that we know, that guy may have gone on to start his own cult. 😉

[@vondelpete]

@@dulles1969 Ha. Love this video and I feel like he would have. After all this is something Vondelpete himself was known to do many times in his twenties...

[@bufoperiglenes8634]

@@vondelpete hiding in the comments on hermit mode, but politics and dance parties remind me of my dad. I posted this song in a comment on a video of mine but then hid the comment because I was seeing arguments in the comments' section of the song itself saying it's pro-whatever...when it's really just pro-music. It's meant to be a lighthearted take on the way people these days are so with-us-or-against-us about politics...but some people didn't get it I guess. I was afraid of attracting reflexively judgmental people with my comment. Avoidant + internet is hard. Anyway, I find it hilarious and also dance-able (I'm not quite ready to put on my grief shoes and dance the blues yet...but someday when the pain is less heavy I'll get back to dancing). Anyway my dad would have liked both of you guys a lot and also would have liked dancing and laughing to this very healing song: kzbin.info/www/bejne/rKemeI17ptBrd80

[@vondelpete]

@@bufoperiglenes8634 This song was very fun and it is hilarious that people would start arguing over it - people don't seem to get things, do they? I would have liked your dad a lot too from the sounds of things, hopefully we can all dance to this song one day on some higher plane, somewhere. :)

[@brocklytodd5317]

Hey I love that hat. They should bring those old school hats back.

[@dulles1969]

There's a nicer fedora in the closet, but that modest little cap travels well. It has gone around the world.

[@gorvo31]

Hey Dulles, Good to see you. As ever, so much to consider. Much of this is reminding me of talks a dear old friend (an on-and-off youtuber herself) and I would have about being similarly shy and private people with ambivalence about sharing very personal passions to mostly strangers on the internet...also feeling like mere characters on the screen...I'm the guy in the bushes also wearing hats, showing weird CDs...though we both agreed, people will just have to perceive as they will...we know who we are... 🙂 Yes, that was brilliant and insightful from Ingrid. I also get that with the political talk attempting-to-rope-one-in or goad/peg us thing....I forget who to attribute this quote to...though "To assign a fixed norm to a changing species is to shoot point blank at a flying bird" often comes to mind in these situations. Thanks as ever for this, and hope your spring is on to a fresh start...so to speak....☺-Carm

[@dulles1969]

Hi Carm! It's now turning into a nice spring and the magnolias are now in full bloom here. Thanks for the kind words and yes there are weird CDs out there, and you've introduced me (and many others) to some really cool music that the world needs to know about -- hat and all! Glad to know I'm not the only one who feels roped when that sort of thing happens. I mean, I have some personal political ideas that some people would find radical, but they're not outrage based. It's placeholder stuff and I'd not want to subject anyone else to it. Come to think of it, that's kind of like my stance on Prog Rock: I might like this but I'll keep it to myself. It's probably a better world if people keep listening to what they like and I keep these musical preferences to myself. 😉