If You Love Her, Never Give Her This

[@Dan.50]

They see kindness as weakness.

[@THX5000]

Always, and it's disgusting. Once you understand how their brains really work, most men lose all respect for them.

[@user-vg9eh4gr9j]

Cuz most are narcissist

[@JJReal-m7x]

Same thing happened to me. Felt like I was dating an absolute child. Poor emotional control, poor money management, no ambition, always looking for attention online, always in a crisis, no resilience, narcissistic tendencies, dressed inappropriately. Kicked her to the curb pretty fast.

[@plasmaarmelund]

I swear they lowkey love being in crisis because it feeds their need for excitement and drama.

[@john-griffin]

I agree with you on that

[@JJReal-m7x]

@@plasmaarmelund💯

[@salmonruss]

Sounds like my ex-wife. I just left 7 months ago and divorced her after 26 years. You hit it on the head!

[@DUNEATV]

You just described my wife of 25 years who I divorced about two years ago! Amazing

[@brandonroach2097]

Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Risk without reward is a fool's errand.

[@john-griffin]

Exactly!

[@Chillax-rb7it]

​@@john-griffinyou are providing great value to this platform keep it real as always

[@阿倫-c3d]

And they will blame you that is not true love if you ask for reward.

[@7fall]

@@阿倫-c3d Right? Yet claim you don’t love them unless you give them a reward- or two or three, or everything and then some.

[@deksper]

@@7fall And then nuc(lear) you with the "I love you, but I'm not I'm not in love with you" semantic bs.

[@racebannon96]

Ex-girlfriend had a meltdown years ago. She still thinks that a man is going to enter her life and treat her like a princess. She has been divorced 3x and will be 60 next month. The narcissism is strong in this one.

[@andre1987eph]

Its absolutely off the charts in cureent batch of 20 year olds. They think social media is reality.

[@jasonscala5834]

😂🤣🤣🤣

[@sonlightpsalm942]

The negative force is strong in her is it? ~ Your friend Yoda 😂

[@trok90k]

Lol strooong

[@maximinoblas1171]

@@racebannon96 she's delusional and entitled 🙄

[@theglobalvagabond3074]

I had a 20 year old intern that showed up 15 minutes late. I asked her where the hell was she? She was shocked that anyone would question her whereabouts Another lady at work told me that I was pushing her to a breaking point be demanding that she showed up on time. Now I was shocked!!! Later she told me that she wore pajamas almost everyday while she was in college and her mother let her do anything she wanted when she was growing up and her father paid for everything. I can't imagine having such an easy mode life..actually her life was demo mode.

[@john-griffin]

That’s hilarious and tragic

[@MidnightPolaris800]

I hope you let her go

[@RightSideNews]

And they think their life is so hard. They're quite the creatures.

[@GBU61]

Over the years, now that I look back on my relationships, this happened a lot more than I realize. Now in my 60s I tell any woman if she wants to continue to see me that my expectations are not negotiable. Those that genuinely care will meet them and those that don’t, I stop seeing them. Definitely not worth it anymore

[@makatforoma9796]

Demo mode is crazy😂

[@quit2quilt525]

I’m a woman and he’s absolutely correct. The more we’re able to get what we want, the more we expect it. And the harder it will be to correct the behavior. I’m married 24 years and my husband has all but given up on giving me what I ask for. I appreciate him and love him truly. This video has made me more aware of being even more appreciative for my husband and to just be grateful for all that he’s done for us (me and the children) and STOP demanding/asking for more. Hearing this from a man’s perspective is eye opening because, of course, my mother and all other females in my life have never told me to act any differently…

[@hologenics1958]

Please let other women know about this man’s words. He represents us. Women won’t listen, they’re too self centred to actually listen to a man. We are all so full of PTSD from being used by people who pretended to love us, but we’re abusing us.

[@sashah3913]

Children they are

[@howleyboy3664]

“Trust not when a woman weeps, for it is in her nature to weep when she wants her will.” - Socrates

[@55tmilam]

If you happen to be a young man watching this and think John is crazy please listen closely to him!!!! I know it seems completely backwards but he’s speaking 100 percent truth!!!!! Save yourself a lot of grief!!!!! Don’t try to pamper her and give her everything!!!! You will be miserable!

[@chefboyardee4467]

My ex wife was my lesson learned. Once I exited the joint bank account, the relationship just took a nose dive. Being single is the best. I remember my girlfriend telling me at my house that I needed a mancave. I just said, SWEETHEART, THIS WHOLE HALF ACRE AND A HOUSE IS A MANCAVE. YOULL NEVER RECEIVE MAIL OVER HERE.

[@joeyzacher9296]

I consider you a mentor sir.

[@john-griffin]

I'm glad to help!

[@SKBottom]

​@john-griffin I'm 52 and I have been red pilled for 7 years. I love your channel and I consider you my internet big brother.

[@itdk107]

Just live alone. Embrace loneliness, silence, pain. Become strong, become a warrior. Choose your battle

[@mmoly-cj4bd]

I am 67 and single. Sometimes I've thought I might be missing something by not being married. Turns out I haven't missed a damn thing! I can't help but laugh my way through this one. I don't know how you did it John but I'm thankful you are out here trying to save mankind. I'm all ears.

[@rockoa67]

Some women will give you respect others won’t. The more you give the more they will take if they don’t respect you

[@sonderman8079]

I am 64, and have had 5 significant relationships in my life. They all at times said they loved me very much. But, not a single one of them really ever cared for me. Look forward to seeing Jack next time John.

[@damnfoolz]

@@sonderman8079 🎯

[@Tyler-wl8kq]

I married a woman 20 years younger and this exactly what happened to me, you cannot be their counselor or charge card is a death spiral

[@john-griffin]

You know my life!

[@eddieabbott370]

​@@john-griffin WOMEN NEED TO RESPECT YOU FIRST BEFORE THEY LOVE YOU. IF SHE DONT RESPECT YOU. SHE WILL NEVER LOVE YOU. ALSO YOU CONTROL ALL THE MONEY. IF SHE LEAVE YOU, SHE WILL ALWAYS TAKE ALL..ALWAYS. NOVEMBER 10, 2024. YES PRE NUPS ALSO

[@7fall]

@@eddieabbott370 Prenups are thrown out regularly, no matter how air-tight. They don’t have to honor it, and often do not. There is no winning move but not to play.

[@Neo-jty]

This is so relatable lol, they are just looking for a second dad

[@john-griffin]

I had no idea until it happened to me

[@drumsnbass]

My ex- had two dads, and no real relationship with either. Back then we didn’t know these warning signs

[@7fall]

Or for 1/2 of them, a first LOL

[@JayS-j9d]

@@john-griffinit seems to me that if u refuse to be her dad she now says she feels like your mother 😂

[@PhoenixwayNet]

Pink satin bedcovers...plants everywhere...closets exploding...bathroom overexploding with bottles of cosmetics, hygiene products...junk and clutter growing everywhere!!!

[@RS-ms1bz]

Exactly. Because they aren’t happy with themselves, so they have to have things to try to make themselves happy. But those things don’t, so they just buy more things in hopes they will eventually bring them happiness. All due to their emotional immaturity, like a toddler. What’s hilarious is all these women on dating sites wanting a man with a high EQ, when they can’t mature past the toddler stage of EQ.

[@anthonyjones1179]

You forgot to mention that it's okay for them to spend money on things but they complain when you do.

[@ItalNico]

My nightmare is display cases and shelves full of useless crap that's on display like a museum. She spent $3000 just on one of the shelves...which I tried to explain was way, way too much but she refused to listen. Thankfully she spends her own money on this junk and makes more than I do, but what a waste. It's like dealing with a child who doesn't understand how to save for a rainy day.

[@barry5138]

If they had an Amazon warehouse, within a week the place would be overflowing with their junk, it's a lifestyle. Absolutely disgusting

[@brianwatson3581]

You just described my ex-wife 🙂

[@americanflyer4126]

Wow! This one really rang true, John! From the time we married, I insisted my ex and I keep our finances separate. I didn't know of another married couple with such an arrangement. I was very conservative with money. Her, not so much. When she filed for divorce last year, I had a nice pile of cash and savings. She had over $30k of debt--which I didn't even know about. The house and the yard were full of chachkis. O, she also opened up two credit cards in my name along the way. All this was brought up by my attorney at our trial. It didn't matter one bit to the judge. Half my money became hers and half her debt became mine--plus half her attorney's fees.

[@CalinGilea]

How can someone open up a credit card 💳 in someone else’s name? 😱

[@TheDreamfinder99]

Painful lesson to learn man. Please don’t marry again. Ps what is chachkis?

[@americanflyer4126]

@@CalinGilea I don't know, I've never done it. But it can't be that hard. She had my personal info obviously and she must have forged my signature. I only found out because my 300,000 mile car had finally had it and I needed a new car. They did a credit check and surprise! I started using Experian after that. Just as infuriating is how the judge just brushed it all off in her divorce decree.

[@candybracelets]

Separate finances don't overrule the fact you've legally pooled your resources unfortunately. When you get married all assets and debts become shared, separate accounts give a false sense of security that doesn't exist. If anything you're better sharing an account after marriage as at least you'll likely recognise something is wrong with your finances sooner. Before marriage separate accounts are an excellent idea though. I'd imagine the reason the judge wasn't interested in your ex's loan fraud was because they viewed your credit as something your ex was entitled to share. The law surrounding this is extremely messed up. The only solution as I understand it is either to put your assets in something that is a separate legal entity to you or to never get married, co-habit, have kids or pool resources in any way. I'm sorry you had to learn this the hard way, thanks for sharing so we won't fall in to the same traps. Hope you're able to re-build your life stronger and move on to better things.

[@jasonscala5834]

It's an evil world we live in.

[@lcmd7833]

Wife steals money from their husbands and sequester this money in a separate account? Or more properly, in a separate secret account? Yes, I had this in my marriage. When I discovered it, it was the single most important factor for me to know that a divorce was necessary. The strange thing is, this woman had my complete trust until this happened. I’m not sure a man shouldn’t hold a wife to basically the same standards he would hold an employee to. If an employee steals, they have to be fired. The same with the wife.

[@ThinkingAddiction]

Also if the employee/woman stops doing the job you hired her for you have to fire her...without giving her half your assets. Therefore think long and hard before signing the marriage contract.

[@nicksmith892]

Wow, I'am just going through a similar situation with my ex who stole money for years in our business. I gave her complete trust with the financial side. She eventually left me with zero balance. My accountant was mortified, as we have two boys at uni and a shitload of bills to pay. I have just worked like a dog to pay the bills so I can wind down the business and move on.

[@shawnmay7612]

I’m just laughing. I’m not laughing at anyone here. I’m laughing at myself. I too made the foolish mistake of having a joint savings and checking accounts. John you hit the nail on the head with this topic. This isn’t the first time I have heard of such events. On a final note I’ll give you something to ponder. My ex was stealing money from bank accounts as well as retirement accounts. My financial advisor stated to me that he had to go to court 12 times in 25 years over this issue. Eleven of the twelve times it was women stealing the money. Also he said they steal money in all ways. Little by little and or no n large amounts. Thanks for your videos John. Be well

[@johnnyjohnn281]

My ex did the same. Squirrelled money away to some secret account for years without my knowledge. And the subsequent ‘fleecing’ (of me) through divorce meant that she eventually got everything. I feel I’ve had to pay through the nose for my own sins, but my ex appears to have had absolutely NO consequences from her actions (other than losing her husband, but who cares about me right?). I just hope ‘Karma’ is a thing, but years later my ex doesn’t seem to have met with Karma in any way. 🧐

[@55tmilam]

@@lcmd7833 this is happening to my brother now!!!! There are thousands that she can’t account for!!!! The bad thing is he knows she has an account with ONLY her name on it yet he still hands over his money from the two jobs he works! He’s such a nice guy and she has made him miserable!!! He looks tens years older than he is ( he’s not even 40 yet). He just can’t stand up to her and she’s setting him up for a complete nuking of his life! I’ve talked and talked to him but it’s like he goes into a trance and can’t even hear me.

[@moseskatafiire7177]

She wouldnt let me make any decision about the family business so I let her take charge of everything and boy am I regretting that to this day. You are too accurate on this one.

[@jamesy11111]

I would’ve made the decision for her if that were the case.

[@catsupchutney]

Oh man, I want to see a round table with John, Alexander Grace and Dr. Orion Taraban.

[@plasmaarmelund]

Her: “Your money is our money. My money is my money”.

[@john-griffin]

Exactly

[@plasmaarmelund]

@@john-griffinI will NEVER again let a woman have access to my finances.

[@KennethFabritius]

MORE LiKE: "My money is my money, your money is my money... go work harder to make U$ some money..."

[@azman3292]

So on point! So long as she does not feel comfortable enough to start shit testing and emotional blackmailing you, then you will be in a comfortable position. Never lose leverage!

[@Kenny-Ross]

Exactly! She can never get too comfortable to the point she feels she can start testing you and starting unnecessary conflict. Keep her in her place.

[@duaneh1973]

When I was married I sent the wife out house hunting. Once she picked out the house. We both went to check it out. The previous owners, the wife was a master gardener. I told her she doesn't have a house plant in her home and never garden before. Against my best judgment, we purchase the house. Years later, she complained about maintaining the flower beds. I told her this is what she wanted. I refused to help her. That pissed her off! Now her daughter comes over to maintain the flower beds. Not my headache anymore.

[@barry5138]

I'd say she was bargaining on you maintaining them all along..... not for a second did she intend to do the work.

[@duaneh1973]

@barry5138 yup!

[@____MC____]

I was forced as a kid to do the weeding, digging, planting. All my dads girlfriend at the time did was reap the rewards. She called it her hobby. Also same with the flower beds. Any time i sat down to do something not 10min goes by till she needed me to do something.

[@nicksmith892]

We had a husband and wife business, where she controlled the money 100%. Big mistake. She had secret accounts for years until she finally left me with no money in the business account and a shit ton of bills to pay. She even took my dog.

[@andre1987eph]

I discovered as an elementary teacher, that child DEMAND foremost from adults boundaries, discipline and safety. Being their friend or fawning over them is a form of neglect to them and they will rebel.

[@psa4026]

@@andre1987eph thanks for sharing 👍🏻

[@walkerlone]

Chivalry is a medieval code of conduct between knights. Something that no woman would know anything about. Never allow a woman to scold, guilt or manipulate you.

[@dougk7075]

These are free diamonds everyone. Thank you John for making them so readily available for all.

[@john-griffin]

@@dougk7075 thanks

[@professorlayabout4878]

There were girls in my kids’ daycare who wore princess dresses every day. 😂

[@ResilientMan-w5h]

John~! Your story about the wife taking over the decorating of the house...YES~! I experienced the same shit. SO tiring and expensive.

[@john-griffin]

I knew there had to be other guys that experienced that! Thanks

[@plasmaarmelund]

It’s easy to spend someone else’s money

[@ItalNico]

A close friend had his wife accumulate so much junk that it eventually filled up their garage. After years of trying to convince her to at least get rid of "some" of it, one day he had enough. While she was out of town he had it all hauled away and when his wife complained he told her to pound it. She didn't talk to him for days, which of course he was okay with.

[@feloniousmonk3049]

I witnessed my mother do the same thing to my father. One room that we only used at XMAS or Thanksgiving or Easter family get togethers. When my father passed away, 20 years after my mother, I was the on e that had to get rid of all the junk and crap my mother accumulated and bought.... Value of only to her, no one else. Not even my 2 sisters wanted it. A fortune in furniture, expensive Thomas brand. Money wasted..... Let's also not talk about unnecessary remodels of kitchens and bathrooms to keep the inside of the house looking new, current, and built with the latest fads. My poor father! She kept him cleaned out. I've no idea how much money my mother squirreled away, but I know my older sister did a number on my Brother in Law and had close to a million $ packed away when he died still working, of cancer at age 58. He never made retirement, so sad. That sister has pissed most the money away going travelling all over the world.

[@GBU61]

What I find that is the most revealing is setting and maintaining expectations on myself. Every man reaches his limits unless he sets and enforces those boundaries on himself simply as a way avoid issues from becoming problematic in his own life. Anyone who I allow in my life, male or female and to a lesser extent a child, will be held to it. I do not argue or get upset, I simply remove those people from my life.

[@PhoenixwayNet]

They...are...relentless.

[@garyvalentini5598]

I needed to hear this. The more they give you the more they hate you want the bad boy, then cry to their girlfriend when the Chad or Tyrone kicks them to the curb.

[@mgtowcomment1367]

Seeing so many common threads with experienced men kind enough to share their experiences almost makes females predictable.

[@Arasaka]

They have all been infected with the same malware.

[@TrevyTrev-andTheFunkyPets]

It was always fun being the one saying No! We’re not getting a inground pool.

[@johnhawke3131]

@TrevyTrev-andTheFunkyPets same here mate. We were barely keeping our head above water and she was getting quotes for a pool. Of course, she made me tell the kids...

[@john-griffin]

That’s funny

[@lessmore444]

Played the role of emotional support dog once. Just long enough to get her stabilized so i could send her packing. NEVER again. Very happily single for 15yrs since & at this vintage, i won’t play house with another woman. She’s going to need her own place, her own money & FULL control of her emotional roller coaster at minimum. My filters are set so fine now, I’ve clearly got very few options for mates aboard another relationship. And if that means peacefully sailing solo to my grave, then so be it. My sanity & serenity are now paramount & uncompromisable.

[@sonlightpsalm942]

John, you have a unique way of simplifying and demistifying a woman's psyche. It's just at a certain age that I have to ask myself, do I want to work that hard to stand my ground to be in a relationship? I have peace, I have solitude, and I have money. I'm an excellent cook and a great housekeeper as I don't like a filthy home. I work out and am in better health than ever and take no medications, as I was able to get off of the antidepressants after the divorce. I have everything I need for a content and peaceful life. I don't need a mother, I don't need a housekeeper, nor do I need another moulth to feed, or feel that I need someone to share my things to find true happiness and contentment. I also don't need the mind police to tell me that I'm doing something wrong because I didn't do it their way. Plus, my home is no longer a catch-all from the neighborhood yard sales. 😊❤😊 Learning to love myself first, instead of being someone else's love slave has its advantages. 😊 I'm planning a solo cruise next month so I can scratch it off the bucket list.😊

[@john-griffin]

I agree. It does seem like a lot of work!

[@howardmallisonii503]

About 16:31: You have Friends, Family, Wives, Girlfriends. None of them can mix.

[@mikejames9642]

Yep, I told my ex wife many times that she was my third child… the one that would never grow up. So glad she is gone!

[@wtbofnc7880]

Damn I wish I had learned this from my absent Dad when I was young. Would have saved me so much aggravation and dispair.

[@john-griffin]

Thanks

[@jimvanbemmelen4131]

lol you are so spot ON!! its hilarious but totally true! I made the same mistakes. Also with listening to the radio in the car. I am a rock/classic rock music lover, so would always put the top 40 radio channels on and I would just deal with music I could not stand.. At Christmas time she would have the 24 hour xmas music radio station playing the entire month of December. The stuff we do so we can avoid arguments. I had many red flags and I did not listen. I am grateful for our 2 children, we were blessed with awesome kids.

30 years married. 3 years divorced. Been brutal, but the more I listen to these (especially) and other reflective videos on marriage/women I realize just how much I had it wrong. How I wasn’t even playing the same game she was. I’ve learned how important it is to maintain my own bearing, to not try to fix or please others, to give my life priority, but mostly how important it is to derive my value from me, not from her or the roles I admitted liked playing so she wouldn’t cry like a princess.

[@mikthe2004]

For 8 months recently I "on and off" dated a needy 57yr old princess!! After a while I made no attempt to compromise anything with her, or to be the kind of man she wanted. We broke up many times because of this, but she would always concede and eventually we would get back together. Even so, her attitude was just too much to tolerate for a long term relationship.

[@ronbianca1975]

Talking about money! I know of a case where the husband was in upper management & supported her all in own for over 30 years. However, when her father passed and left a small fortune , her attitude was THAT'S MY MONEY!

[@DUNEATV]

John, I hate to sound like a broken record, but you nailed it again! Your videos are amazing!

[@john-griffin]

Thanks

[@ItalNico]

It really helps to know I'm not the only one! I made the mistake early on of just giving in to my wife to avoid her temper tantrums as she's prone to extreme emotional outbursts, especially in public. However I've seen her to this to her own mother, and other members of her family often do it to each other. Thankfully, I was smart enough to keep our finances separate but giving her free reign to decorate the house was another mistake. So while our home looks like a dysfunctional hipster antique store, at least she only spends her own money on all of this useless junk. She can take it with her when we finally divorce.

[@john-griffin]

Great story, thanks

[@LeonardEarnshaw]

Challenges in relationships are natural, but a path forward always exists. My marriage faced serious challenges, but with the right support, my wife and I resolved our issues and reinforced our bond. Solutions are within reach if you’re committed to the effort and working together. Don’t lose hope-answers are possible.

[@BruceKnapp-n4q]

I’m going through significant issues in my relationship and can't bear to lose her. I miss and love my partner profoundly and am committed to doing whatever it takes to have her back. I would be very thankful for any advice or direction you might offer.

[@LeonardEarnshaw]

Saying farewell to someone you love dearly is never easy, but in my case, I had the assistance of a spiritual counselor who saved my marriage from falling apart. Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.

[@BruceKnapp-n4q]

I'll swiftly look her up online. Thanks. I'm hopeful that following this course of action will bring about positive changes for me too; her absence is deeply felt.

[@LeonardEarnshaw]

You should... I promise you will not regret it

[@KennethFabritius]

@@BruceKnapp-n4q calling her a "partner" is part of the problem. MEN and WOMEN. They aren't "partners"... they are boyfriend/girlfriend or husband and wife. This "partners" bullshit terminology is feminist propaganda. MEN AND WOMEN ARE NOT EQUAL. They are complimentary. Women are better at some things and men are better at some things. They come together to compliment each other but they are not equal. They are not "partners". Women need men far more than men need women. The human race needs both men and women to come to propagate the species but MAKE NO Mi$TAKE, men are quite capable of surviving without women. The same can not be said of women. The only reason women are able to survive and thrive on their own today is that they live in a relatively safe society that MEN created. Men don't need women. It's high time we reminded them of that fact. Then maybe they'll stop behaving so uppity and taking good and great men for granted.

[@suefleming]

I love your videos so much. You have so much wisdom and experience to learn from. I also love it that you don't have any annoying music. I believe you are doing the Lord's work by spreading fairness and knowledge. ❤👍🏼💯😊

[@john-griffin]

Thank you so much!

[@davejsv721]

I wish I saw this video 23 years ago!!

[@berniegiesbrecht5527]

All the points you made are too late for me to implement now, as she’s abandoned our family and moved out. However, I have 3 young sons who will benefit greatly from the wisdom I’ve gleaned the hard way.

[@DJ-hy8wf]

These are great lessons for a seasoned man, but almost impossible to teach to a younger guy. As a young man the biological imperative is so powerful that they cannot see reality for what it is or they don't care. The drive to experience the mood of these energies, overrides reason. So much work is to be done demonstrating to the young men the long term outcomes of their behaviors. Our society needs a new men's institution to proactively influence and educate our sons from early childhood or they are doomed to repeat the same mistakes we made. I've been developing the framework for a new institution for men which I coined "The strong man's society" in order to redirect and rehabilitate our youth. I want to throw this idea out there to men of influence to hopefully seed the idea into the world and hope it takes root. Much work is to be done.

[@MrJolly-lb9je]

I took one of my ex GF to psychiatrist as i said "i really do not know how to help you he will know for sure he fixes people" .. Her face and state of her after that talk with him was gold like ! I asked , "sooo how was it ??" she was steaming/furious "how could he said that to me , male chauvinistic pig shame on him bla-bla-bla" etc. .. "what did he say i asked ??" well , basically he said to her - grow up ! you're not baby girl anymore ! .. Few months later i pulled a pug on her , far too much baggage for my sanity .

[@Thepinatamma]

I used to be a doormat and always get used. Until, I told women, "Look, I have options, and time is money". After that the respect either came or didn't. If it didn't, I saved time. When it did I gave them a chance for another date.

[@mrpopsful]

So true about the shared bank account. Many times i had to ask the landlord if i could pay the last $50-100 on my next payday. She didn't have a job. I went from amazing credit (only earning 24k per year), no consumer debt to bankruptcy in 3 years.

[@raftea219]

The worst thing you can do as a parent is call your daughter princess.

[@jasonscala5834]

That hardly matters, society will drill into her head she IS a princess.

[@KennethFabritius]

@@jasonscala5834 Not if you indoctrinate her before she enters society.

[@tprati]

Never give them everything, they can’t be trusted with it. I made that mistake. By all metrics she was perfect, except she felt like she controlled me. I know better now.

[@albert2395]

Chivalrous is definitely right! But I think those days have long gone!😢

[@DavidVincent-g8i]

The clutter part I can totally relate too. Thought I was the only one.

[@Ernie161]

Thank you. Your talks are like a mirror. They identify gaps in my relationship and suggest a healthy way forward.

[@RobsNeighbor]

Thank you for helping so many!

[@john-griffin]

Im glad you enjoy the content. Thanks

[@alexsimard5151]

SO funny! Been there done that as they say. Raised 3 wonderful children and met that boundary stage like your daughter and didn’t flinch. Where I got it wrong is with my ex-wife, your video completely explains everything, thanks a lot John!

[@deksper]

That drone shot taken above you and the dog while sitting next to the stream, is absolutely beautiful, John.

[@brendanthebdog]

Awesome video John 👍 This is the real Alpha advice, having boundaries. It's a quiet and authentic strength that is very impressive once you recognize it. Great analysis.

[@john-griffin]

Thanks

[@Mike-s7h5l]

A man must lead in a relationship. This means seeing the "big picture" and setting goals. He must also set boundaries to protect said goals. An example of a boundary is a budget. Before putting a budget together, both parties must be self disciplined. If a woman crosses said boundaries, the man must be willing to leave and have other options, i.e., other women who are interested in him. Not that he is cheating on his current partner. Remember that even in an ideal relationship, nothing lasts due to the nature of impermanence.

[@carletto_au]

Thank you so much for the great work and the support to the men community; possibly with your work you contribute even to save some lives. At the age of 60, this is my opinion: it's still OK being interested in women, but a full on relationship with cohabitation is out of question; I believe problems start with living together and getting in each other pockets 24/7. A man and a woman, should not see each other all the time; cohabitation, familiarity and boredom will ruin even a potentially perfect relationship. Maintaining a level of freedom and your own house it's a must. When you have enough of each other, just go back home.

[@monicaspector2388]

The most ideal scenario for both is to have your own space, your own money. Really can't go wrong with this formula.

[@helpdeskjnp]

With my kids (both girls), when telling them ‘No’, they’ve always known it’s come from a place of non-punishment and non-judgment…. They would also get a reason for the ‘no’, so they understood it wasn’t coming from my ego or coming from the desire to punish or hurt them. For instance, if I told them no about having something they wanted, they’ve always known that if I could give them something I always would… but if I can’t or if it doesn’t make sense, they would understand, and they never ever threw a fit wanting something… because they knew I always put them first, and if I can, I would. Who wouldn’t give their kids anything in the world if you could? And they know I would if I could, therefore they see the love and they show it back by understanding. It all boils down to effective communication and speaking from a place of love and no ego. That’s what’s worked for me and I’ve got an 18 and 16 year old daughters, and my relationship with them couldn’t be better.

[@oswaldkwas9943]

Bro you're so pro in what you do man! Learning so much from your channel, I'm so grateful 🙏🏽

[@john-griffin]

I appreciate that! Thank you!

[@ChiefKarma]

Amen. Seperate checking accounts!

[@PyroGuyUSA]

I've listened to many of your other good videos, but THIS one just changed how I think about sharing a life with a woman. This is definitely one of your top ones. Wish I had heard this one years ago!

[@john-griffin]

I don’t think you should use it as a warning against women, but more of an education for yourself and how you interact with them. I think women can be a lot of fun under the right circumstances.

[@PyroGuyUSA]

@@john-griffin Exactly. I have been too "old school", and those rules certainly no longer apply.

[@scottmerric2180]

Wholly Identify with the parent > child dynamic with my soon to be ex wife. Just made me really unable to be attracted to her. Coupled with her being verbally abusive, I was tired of saying ok sweetie you’re right and everyone else is wrong and your perspective is valid 🙄

[@KJ-pu8dw]

With a womans thoughts & actions i learned to always reason the 'why is she doing this?' by adding the words 'like a child' after it. If you keep in mind their emotional immaturity you can keep your own head in arguements and they become very predictable.

[@miketodesco6915]

You hit the nail on the head,Brother

[@john-griffin]

thanks

[@promansplainor5245]

Its always good to ask open ended questions that gets her to work toward what advice would she give to someone in her situation. Try to get the focus off her problems and toward solutions for someone else.

[@marcint1410]

@@promansplainor5245 Very underrated comment alert! Great technique 👍

[@vasilisd754]

I have to congratulate you for the way you describe your stories. You have a way to be raw and funny at the same time. Your innovative thought to start this channel makes a positive impact for many of us. Don't be pessimistic though, I think there's a way for a man to live harmonious with a woman.

[@DanDuck-mg5fw]

I know a lot about relationships, I’ve had hundreds of them !!!!! 🤪

[@Kimonha]

Too funny. You’re definitely not getting remarried. I totally identify with everything you’ve saying; my ex wanted the joint checking, filled the house with crap, and on and on.

[@john-griffin]

Its unreal what they do to keep their little brains occupied.

[@barry5138]

​@@john-griffinI call them "peanut brains", tiny little brains that are constantly on the look out for crazy.

[@nunuvyurbiz123]

Knowing your boundaries is absolutely critical in life. If you don't know where your boundaries are, then you may assume they are further out from you than they actually are, just to be safe. That makes you less capable to be receptive to people, to help people, to be generous with people. Or you might assume that your boundaries are closer in from where they actually are. And that would cause you to be someone that others can take advantage of because they can cross your boundaries without you knowing it. Unfortunately, for whatever reason since 1955 men have simply no longer learned where their boundaries are. It may be because so many men were raised by single mothers and learning one's boundaries perhaps is something that is exclusively taught by fathers.

[@SirChivalRegal]

On top of finances, i think separate bedrooms as well , if it can be afforded. One third room for " husband and wife" duties / obligations. Probebly be empty most the time.

[@WeeklyHealthShow]

Great Advice!

[@john-griffin]

Thanks

[@foodrecipes2243]

Thanks john. I had a breakup while she's pregnant. She was cheating.. Now can't trust her at all. Not sure if its my baby at this point..your videos have been great for me. Thank you brother

[@john-griffin]

I’m glad they help.

[@JurassicJerkyAmazon]

Yes! ⚠️”Happy wife happy life. “ Sold to and further created all the little b- simps! False Bill of Goods! Hold Frame and ManUp Today ! 🛑

[@bruin-ruin]

I regret that I handed over the handling of the household finances/bills when I moved her in with me. Lifestyle creep has her commenting on money whenever I slack off on overtime for 2-3 weeks in a row. It's like, how have you not put a little money aside in all the years that I've worked 450 - 550 hours of OT a year? That on top of her full-time job.

[@kevinwelsh7490]

a dog-owning friend of mine told me a dog needs to have a dog mat in the home so it knows were to go to lie down when told to. Otherwise the dog will be lost. I think it's the same for wives. I wish I had known this during my marriage.

[@kvelez]

3:12 Interesting note. 4:40 Interesting scenario. 12:35 I see 15:39 First time I see somebody talking ahead of time to keep the content updated. Good move.

[@john-griffin]

Thanks

[@thelimey351]

If the relationship breaks down you have to be in a position to walk away clean at all times without getting financially shafted. (1) Don't get married - a marriage contract gives the judicial system carte blanche to do as they please in a divorce scenario. (2) The ideal scenario is that you live in a house she owns so you can walk away, otherwise a lease where her name is on it, a joint lease means she won't leave but you are financially on the hook for the payments & any damage she does. You being on the lease only is better than joint but then you have to find a way to get her out - she may not make that easy. (3) Completely separate finances & all your bills go to an address where you don't share living arrangements. (4) If you have children then it is only right that she has financial security if she's staying home with them, so agree all this with lawyers *BEFORE* you have children. I know this all sounds ridiculous but the entire feminist court system is about blaming & extracting money from *YOU* . Most men learn this the hard way...

[@andrewharchar891]

RIGHT ON, JOHN! You have to do a talk on interfering older sister and mother!

[@hichamforu]

Facts and I confirm John 👍

[@brianjoseph8982]

This is the reason girlfriends are better than wives,once they're secure they drop the facade and you have to tolerate it because getting out is extremely expensive

[@citizengkar1811]

Good advice, all of this resonates with me.

[@Paul-of3ut]

I gave my fiancee everything many rings many necklaces holidays yep everything. I've always done this and everytime they have cheated on me. Yeah I'm stupid. I won't take her back and I've learned my lesson now. All i did was try to make them happy it resulted in me losing my home all my possessions everything I've worked for because behind my back she was gambling. I married her and i lost my home 2yrs left on the mortgage. I still feel sick about it and its been 11yrs.i never trust again. Every woman I've met has hurt me, if i do decide to date again it will be a Philippino lady i feel they are just brought up better to respect a relationship. Loved the video thanks

[@BlakesPipes]

Great information for the men in relationships or looking to make them apart of a man's future. 😊

[@clays1507]

The more you give the more they take

[@PhoenixwayNet]

I tried marrying a foreign woman...but made the mistake of bringing her here.

[@plasmaarmelund]

What happened?

[@RaymondNelson-qc2hs]

​@@plasmaarmelundshe gone

[@andrewevans7992]

@@plasmaarmelundshe left him for a better man 😂

[@ZorrowTasogare92]

@@plasmaarmelund maybe brainwashed by the feminism and all the woke shit here

[@barry5138]

A fella at work met a Russia girl, brought her back to Scotland. She quickly made friends and within 6 months the friends had totally changed her Outlook on life.... in otherwords "don't do that for him, you deserve better", "you're not his slave".

[@davidglad]

Perhaps it is equal opportunity: it's more satisfying to work for what you have.. similar to just _giving_ somebody what they (think they) want.

[@john-griffin]

Totally agree

[@ICFUBAR]

It's called being an 'emotional tampon', which is usually a role played by a beta orbiter in her friend zone. 'Doll house" great meme, a man needs his own personal space, man cave if you will where he can do his hobbies and decorate to his own taste. I have my room and when my guy friends come over that is where we aways hangout. Just never let her take over anything!

[@feloniousmonk3049]

Every female is a 13 to 14 year old girl in a woman's body. And has been stated by wise men for over 300 to 400 years.

[@adriancroft981]

Women grow old they don't grow up.

[@JR-zl5kc]

You nailed it. Well said. Thank you!

[@JediDarkForce]

Happened to me many times....thanks God it was detected at the very early stage... It's near impossible to get with them for a man of intellect

[@PhoenixwayNet]

I know this too, too well. Former Boy Scout here, too...refer her to therapy.

[@makatforoma9796]

This is valuable information to be getting as 22 year old. Thanks man, respect all the way from Botswana. Hey if you see this comment do you mind centering some of your content on how younger people can navigate the dating scene to avoid entering a horrible deal in the future. I'd really appreciate that, thanks for all your wisdom. Ohhh by the way, are you Christian?

[@yorkshiremgtow1773]

Botswana... Lovely place with good people.👍