if you're a trans man, why do you look like that?

[@invinciblesummer13]

The way that trans people are expected to adhere to gender roles is so bizarre, even beyond things like gender presentation - I’ve had people question my transness because I’m married to a man (????), as if being a queer man is only reserved for cis people

[@AZ-ty7ub]

Trans people can't win. If we're conforming to gender roles then we're "promoting stereotypes" (funny how cis people are never accused of this) and if we don't then we're not really trans and just want attention.

[@jackriver8385]

There's this idea that we transition only to be with certain people, as if everything we do is for someone else, and not to feel comfortable within ourselves

[@ratatouille5095]

people looooove reinventing binaries the minute someone escapes them. it's like they think the whole point of transness isn't to transcend

[@venusluv-i1v]

Yes! And then it will be gay cis men saying it, too. This one always gets me.

[@dontreadthisplease2416]

This idea (that a trans man can't date a man) is offensive to cis queer people too imo as it also implies that trans men are just lesbians transitioning to trick straight women into dating them. I'm nonbinary, only attracted to women, but I've never had any surgeries so I would never expect or even think that a straight woman would be interested in me. Frankly if they were I would really question if they were straight but hey if they wanted to use me id'ing as nonbinary to pretend they're straight more power to them ig. I won't ruin that sorry for the tangent I'm waking up. tl;dr cis people have trouble understanding the difference between sexual orientation and gender when it comes to trans people. (not all. Maybe not even most. Idk do I sound like I have statistics?)

[@gckinsey]

"Why do you only afford freedom of gender expression to people whose genders are the easiest to understand?" >> THIS SO MUCH

[@theharshtruthoutthere]

Patients are deceived, but doctors are pure evil. Doctors have duty to know more and understand good and evil. The doctors of this generations are all gone mad. There is non who is trans, ever. All what you, deceived souls deed was: you step out from gender. GOD formed you either male or female and you went and took it away from yourself. You destroyed the HOLY TEMPLE OF GOD = YOUR BODY. 1 Corinthians 3:16KJV Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you? 1 Corinthians 6:19 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? 1 Corinthians 3:17 If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is holy, which temple ye are. Deuteronomy 22:5 The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God. You have became genderless, not trans nor intersex. And may I ask: what`s up with the masonry 666 hand sign, many of you show off?

[@Joydata]

So excited seeing this as a gnc trans guy, sometimes talking with people about gender feels like talking with a kid.

[@_koraki]

It’s hilarious cause it’s usually the easiest to explain to children, usually they just accept that you’re a pretty boy and keep it moving lol

[@kellabdjfoo]

THISSS!!

[@Enzar17]

Hell, I'm a cis man who paints his nails. All the spaces I frequent (LGBT, punk, metal, etc.) see it as entirely normal. Any choice of makeup, nail art, whatever, it's literally just body decoration. It's fun, and it's for me.

[@SukunaYaoi]

"I want to be feminine, but in a way that a man is feminine" Thats always how I explain myself to others

[@sonnentausnest]

Oh, thank you. I feel exactly the same way, was looking for some validation and got directed to this yt channel by a very supportive and helpful person. Have a nice day!

[@SukunaYaoi]

@@sonnentausnest you too! 💕

[@tr38cho]

As a hetero cis-man who isn't in queer spaces as much as I think I should be, I was immediately confused. My brain did this weird thing where I thought "if you're asking 'why I look like this'" that you were a trans woman and I just misread. Heard you say "trans man" and thought, "well why would it any think to ask why you wear make up and dresses," not realizing that I really just see everything you are and are doing as normal and kept looking for the weird thing. It was a very strange experience trying to make sense of what I already had for maybe even a little longer than my adult life. On the other hand, I do like your explanation and reasoning and maybe even got a more enriched understanding of how trivial gendering body decorating is. I'm a new sub and found my way here via F.D Signifier.

[@darkacadpresenceinblood]

this is very random but i had the exact same experience playing a puzzle game😭 you see, there's this video game where you have to look for contradictions between sentences people say and what they feel during it. and there was this boy who talked about a frilly dress while feeling happy... i clicked literally every other sentence and emotion looking for the damn contradiction, i was like why the fuck can't i find it, until i just started to click random shit and... the contradiction was a dude thinking a dress was pretty💀 i was like, damn i'm not into toxic gender norms enough for this game lmao

[@tr38cho]

@@darkacadpresenceinblood Yo, I'm glad you get it. Lol, I really thought this post would go unnoticed because I felt like I did a really shitty job at explaining how strange the feeling was to be that confused. It wasn't until I made it through half the video where I was like "Oh, they're not talking about ME me."

[@satunbreeze]

Yo wassup dude glad you're here

[@annearchy98]

Yay! anither FD fan ❤

[@Iamthatis137]

You just made my day. Love you bro! 💗

[@JhinPortolan]

As a generally masculine trans dude, bros who are comfortable expressing their femininity in their trans identity are so fucking cool

[@berrysnowyboy5251]

as both a masc and faun dude, completely agree with ya on fellow bros having fun with femininity and making it into their own cool thing ^v^

[@kellabdjfoo]

OH MY GOSH THIS!!!!! I'm someone who identifies as a guy but i love being "feminine". i dont see my boobs as inherently a "woman" thing, and the way i dress shouldnt put me in a binary, but for most people, it does. im basically a trans guy who puts no effort into "passing as a guy", and am still valid!!

[@BandieDiamanda]

trans femboys unite!!

[@kellabdjfoo]

@@BandieDiamandaREALL

[@lonk2026]

@@BandieDiamanda the trans femboy army will rise soon

[@Qwer-teaBinch]

I am not an ugly woman in a dress. I am an ugly MAN in a dress! And it has POCKETS! BECAUSE I SAID SO!

[@D3LT4_123]

Genuinely asking but how can you identify as a "guy" if you don't identify with male societal roles? Isn't that just being a woman with extra steps? Sorry, I'm just trying to unlearn some biases I grew up with in a conservative household...

[@nikolaswaney9187]

people will use anything to discredit your identity as a trans person tbh. it's all "why would you transition if you're just gonna present feminine?" but if you're super gender conforming it's "don't you know there's more to being a man/woman than those stereotypes?"

[@graveyardpansy]

real!!! same bullshit different font

[@berrysnowyboy5251]

yep, it's the exact same bullshit being made in different flavours of "oh God why??????"

[@Luketherat]

I love everything you said in this video. Especially how rather than making the typical argument that “trans men can be feminine and still be men!” (Which is still true), you encourage people to de-gender all these needlessly gendered things such as hair, makeup, clothes. When I occasionally wear a skirt or a women’s top, I don’t think of myself as being feminine I just think of myself as a man in a skirt. I’m not going to get rid of clothes that I like just because they were intended for women to wear. Clothes are just clothes. Same with my hair. I’m planning on growing it out long again because I miss it being long and flowy. I don’t consider the long hair to be feminine on me at all though, it’s masculine because I decided it is! The same haircut could be feminine on a different person. Your hair is fabulous by the way. I’m hoping to get mine that long eventually!

[@nessa-parmentier]

i've had long hair while identifying as a man for years and most people don't see a problem with that. Before puberty some people would be kinda confused because I looked really androgynous but most of the time saying I was a guy was enough Turns out I'm not a guy but that doesn't change it : men with long hair are cool and normal and a lot of people (at least where I live) don't give a shit if they see one. Honestly i thought society had moved past that, but recently i've been exposed to a lot more reactionary people sooo... yeah.

[@graysonrogers-barnes6302]

GNC trans guy here to say THANK YOU. This is such a huge thing. I have felt this way for so long. One of the first instances of gender incongruence I experienced was when that glitter beard trend was happening ages ago. I remember wanting that so badly, and feeling like I was far better represented as a queer gnc man than anything else.

[@jackriver8385]

The glitter beard!!! I almost forgot about that. I don't know how old you are but there was also this flower beard thing about a decade ago, I really really wanted a beard so that I could put flowers into it! I have a bit of a beard now but it's going to take a while for it to be long enough 😅 But I will do it eventually haha

[@SkyeID]

I wear skirt and dresses and have long hair. When I tell people that I'm nonbinary trans and not a woman, I suspect they assume I'm a trans person who is in some way connected to femininity. They don't flat out say that, but that's more than likely the reason why they misgender me. Femininity is something they know and can latch onto, and maybe that's how they interpret my existence. I'm not femme, not masc, not andro, and society doesn't know how to process that information. I was at a festival 8 months ago, and there was a booth that represented my local LGBTQIA Center. I asked someone at the booth if they had any nonbinary trans groups, and the person handed me a card that gave the date and time of the trans femme group.

[@TheWackiestDemon]

I'm feeling like all these labels aren't working to serve trans people.

[@SkyeID]

@@TheWackiestDemon I'm feeling like your response doesn't match my comment.

[@TheWackiestDemon]

@@SkyeID From what I understand, you're trans masc nonbinary, but you present feminine? Because being trans masc is associated with the aesthetics of masculinity, people think when you're asking for a trans nonbinary group that it couldn't be trans masc by the way you present yourself and how that conflicts with how the majority of trans mascs present themselves. Thus I think that the labels of "trans masc" and "trans fem" don't serve the trans community well. Because they're not clearly defined and that causes a lot of confusion upon looking at a person and trying to figure out how they identify.

[@SkyeID]

@@TheWackiestDemon it's a mistake to assume the identity of a person based on outward appearance, because you could be wrong. I thought it was ridiculous for that person to assume what group I want to join based on my outfit, especially since I just said, "nonbinary group", not "trans femme group". People who work at LGBTQ centers with trans folks should know better. I don't call myself trans masc. I don't call my clothes feminine. Masculine clothing/feminine clothing are societal constructs that mean nothing. Clothes are just the cloth we put around our meat sacks because nudity isn't socially acceptable. I'm a transgender nonbinary human who wears clothes. I don't like the terms "trans masc" or "trans femme", because they don't make sense to me, so I can't give adequate definitions to clear up the confusion. But I'm an outlier, so maybe you should ask more trans people what they feel about those terms.

[@DinosaurNick]

Wow, the way you explained that describes how I feel! I'm agender and I just like what I like be it media, clothes, jewelry, body wash etc@@SkyeID

[@lychnnpup957]

I'm transmasc, and I've had really long hair my entire life. The amount of times I've had people ask me why I won't cut my hair (both before and after coming out but ESPECIALLY within the first 1-2 years after telling people I'm trans) is mind-boggling. Plenty of guys/masc-presenting folks look great with long hair. I've PASSED with long hair despite also being short and curvy (which isn't to say passing is a determining factor in trans validity ofc, but proves to me that it's possible even if you aren't genetically "predisposed" to looking masc). I love and have always loved my long hair, and I don't ever intend on changing it. Don't ever give up what you wanna look like in favor of what's "normal."

[@phoebegee54]

Yeah I've always loved long hair, on any gender.

[@rejectfalseicons]

transmasc with long hair here too, it also confuses me that people think you cant be masc and have long hair. literally look at most metal bands!! it also grosses me out that people associate short hair with masculinity. i cut mine short once, and when i went to school the next day someone excitedly told me that i "looked like a boy". do i only get to look like a boy when i have short hair??

[@SonicfanFhWcCt]

Same I’m also a trans guy with long hair

[@b6b6b6b6b6]

Both me and my childhood best friend are trans boys. He was by far my best friend ever and we were really close ever since we were 5. I was very masculine growing up and my friend was "feminine". My parents support me. But my friend's parents think that he's not a real trans boy and he just decided to do it for attention or something and they refuse to even call him by the right name and pronouns :(. We both realized that we're trans around the same time and it's been 3 years and we are both still trans. I moved far away from him 2 years ago and I miss him. We're both 16 now. I hope his parents realize that he's a real trans boy soon and help him feel less dysphoric. We were really good friends together and we had so much fun playing and stuff. I want to see him again. :'(

[@stomovcsik]

They get mad when we dont adhere to gender stereotypes, then they get bad when we do and say were just playing pretend and making a mockery of "real men and women". Honestly love to see gnc trans people rising up. Its giving me more confidence and clarity in my own gender journey

[@thefurbyqueen7572]

as a more "senior" trans person (lol) I do feel like the growing accessibility to gender terms and theory had a side effect where people tend to curate their own list of labels they adhere to almost as guidelines to their identities. It's fantastic how much info and visibility we got nowadays compared to 20 years ago but identity is an ongoing and pretty flexible process, and especially early on I feel a lot of trans people tend to bind themselves to those specific archetypes. I don't think that's any less valid and I've done that myself back in my tumblr days, but you have to be mindful that labels are secondary. They're used to summarize or encapsulate your identity, but "you" fist of all means you, however you want it to be.

[@DUWANGlai_kangyi]

Well said. I feel like so many young people (specifically young LGBTQ+ people) deserve to read this message.

[@lishlash3749]

I'm a femme trans woman who transitioned decades ago, and some of the deepest insights into my own identity came from getting to know trans men. There was so much I found we had in common, with no explanations needed since we were both trans. At the same time, there were no expectations, no competitiveness, no sexual tension. I think it helped make me feel more comfortable with my own tomboy side.

[@tylerthompson7461]

I needed this video today, I’m a trans man that chopped all my long hair off the second I came out so I would pass better even though I enjoyed having long hair. My cis boyfriend and several of his friends have hair all the way down past his shoulders and one day I had the epiphany “wait, I can have long hair and still be a man” idk why this took me so long to work out but here we are 3 months without a haircut and my hair is about to pass the phase where it’s always in my eyes no matter how much I push it back. So progress is being made

[@no1legobatmanfan]

this came out at the best time, i’ve been thinking so much about this. i wish people could look at me, me with a chest, long hair, and feminine clothes, and STILL see a guy. because none of that determines my gender at all. i don’t mind how my body looks. i mind how others interpret it.

[@graveyardpansy]

real!!! like, it’s not /my/ problem that you have shallow views of gender. when someone tells you who they are, you listen. it’s 101.

[@angelbones07]

I love how you've become more feminine as you've become more comfortable, you've really helped to make myself feel more comfortable with feminity and I've recently started wear eyeliner because of this, I am so grateful to see people like you in the world :)

[@mrbubbies_]

Same!

[@cecerats]

this reminds me of the time my cishet mom asked me why my trans male friend cosplayed a female character after i showed her a picture of us at a con. i told her that if there's cis guys who wear dresses while feeling 100% like men, a trans men are totally capable of doing the same. this made sense to her and she hasn't asked about it again. i guess some people (progressive but confused mothers in their 50s) do ask these questions in good faith

[@vladtheinhaler93]

Ngl, it tickles me to see a trans-man intentionally present so esthetically fem, and I think that is Fabulous! I was a cis-het identifying amab glam-goth in my youth, so it seems perfectly natural and relatable to me, just as you yourself expressed. Now in my 40s, I have returned to my old esthetics, and identify as trans-fem, only because it's helping me break out of ingrained masculinisation, and tbh, validating my 'feminine' side, and sometimes identifying as a woman, is also strangely validating to me as a man! Guess I am just liking *me* more, whatever label we put on it...

[@transsexual_computer_faery]

"sometimes identifying as a woman, is also strangely validating to me as a man" based gender obliterationist

[@vladtheinhaler93]

Please, I'm a gender absurdist, with the aim of gender ascension!..@@transsexual_computer_faery

[@spencylovely]

So thankful for your videos, we talk about ""reparenting" ourselves from bad role models, and your videos gives me perspectives I never thought was ""allowed"" in these spaces. I am personally still recovering from my k•lvin era, and hearing you self actualize and affirm yourself while dismissing a strangers perceived judgment is something I hope to emulate moving forward. I carry a lot of feelings of guilt or ""deviance"" when trying to exist in the public, I try to blend in and not draw attention to myself, and therefore closet myself and a big part of my identity. It always make me feel icky, allowing myself to "pass" as something I'm not to quell my overwhelming fear of confrontation. Thank you for sharing. I truly cannot express how much your videos have helped me process emotions amd perspectives I have not been given the grace to fumble through quite yet.

[@jackriver8385]

I first came across your channel when I was very newly out, and you helped me so much during a time in which I was so worried I wasn't "man enough." I'm now just over 1 year on T, and 7 months post top surgery, and very comfortable with my own version of masculinity, which includes makeup, nail polish, and whichever clothes I feel like wearing. And I still think a big part of that is thanks to you!

[@lonk2026]

hell yeah! congrats on the surgery, hope it's all going well!

[@babs_babs]

oh dip i started hrt and got surgery around the same time. twinsies

[@kian_the_kid8966]

I've had a really similar comment alot and people see my feminity as an excuse to misgendered me

[@DUWANGlai_kangyi]

I'm so sorry that's the case :((

[@wackjobius1588]

(long comment because I'm literally incapable of short-form writing) This video and your last video have gotten me thinking a LOT more about using the words masc and femme as descriptors for ourselves and for others. Gender is a construct made real in the sense that it is reified in daily life by those around us and systems around us that enforce it rigidly (such as gendered restrooms and the folks who say "why do you dress like that if you're a trans man"). But in queer spaces where it's not heavily policed, we can drop the pretense that we have to look or sound like anything in particular to get desired treatment (recognition of gender identity, correct pronoun usage, etc.). I'm starting to feel like within these queer spaces, we can also start letting go of the words masc and femme which aren't as useful or necessary to us for as long as gender isn't being actively enforced. I'm a fairly gnc trans woman who enjoys being misgendered as "sir" on occasion because it makes me feel like I'm read as a butch lesbian instead of as a cis-het man (this isn't worded perfectly but you get it, I hope). I get these moments where I'm like "haha, they think I'm a man, they must think I'm big and strong and commanding!". It's funny to me! I like confusing people! I dress pretty "masc" by other people's standards and I enjoy masculinity a lot more now that I don't feel like it forces me to be a man. But I'm also at the point now where I've explored my gender identity and presentation enough that I can be read as both femme and masc and neither all at the same time. That the label "woman" is something I enjoy just as much as the label "non-binary". To say that I'm a non-binary trans woman is so delightfully oxymoronic! It makes fun of gender while also being informative about who I am. I've found that striving for one side of the masc/femme binary isn't a priority anymore since being a gnc trans person in my area (notably with my socioeconomic status) doesn't subject me to (much) harassment. Being stylish and hot when I look in the mirror is my priority now. Gender doesn't need to have anything to do with that. It would be nice if we also had the ability to use gendered language to refer to how we're commonly *perceived* and not just for what we *are* . Reifying gender kinda sucks, and I don't wanna do it if I don't have to. On another note, I can understand why some trans folks who fall into a more binary identity and presentation might reject non-binary identities and gnc presentations. For many, conforming as quick as possible was and still is a useful survival tactic. This can include holding on to parts of the gender binary to some degree as a way of protecting one's own psyche. If you never got the opportunity to present as a gender non-conforming trans person, it can be more painful to admit to yourself that you were actively deprived of that privlege because of the society around you than to just believe it was never possible or valid to begin with. Internalized transphobia, I think, can be a coping mechanism. Not a good one, but one nonetheless. It compels us to act in ways that will get marginally better treatment from cis-het folks and then lets us rest in the false comfort that this is the only way it can be IE: trans people who believe you have to pass to receive respect and dignity or be gender conforming to receive such things. It can be comfier to believe they deserve conditional acceptence. Because that's all they've ever recieved. (on a more insidious note, transphobia among trans folks can be used to affirm oneself by punching down within the social hierarchy IE: "At least *I* look like a woman. I'm not one of *them* . People accept me because I'm one of the *normal* trans women.") With that said, videos like yours really help to make me and others feel comfy, affirmed, and supported in this trans/non-binary gender-nonconformity that is often belittled online and in person. It helps battle some of that internalized transphobia within ourselves and to help those within our communities get over it as well. Thanks for makin these videos and bein a cool dude

[@rynthacker3767]

I love your comment and I love the way you write! It reminds me of Susan Stryker and Sonny Nordmarken's works on gender non-conformity and the societal pressures placed on trans people.

[@wackjobius1588]

@@rynthacker3767 This is high praise!!! Thanks for the pointers to Stryker and Nordmarken's works, I'll give them a look! I really want to become more well read on gender so I really appreciate recommendations like these!

[@koenko2]

ughh, i get questions like this a *lot*! personally i consider myself transmasc (because i consider myself a man and i use he/him pronouns, have a masculine name, other various "social transition" things) but i don't pass at all by choice. i've never had any sort of medical transition, i make no attempts to wear more masculine clothing, i wear makeup and keep my hair long and i even no longer deepen my own voice in conversation and allow it to sit in its natural register. a lot of times i get asked HOW exactly i can claim to be male while taking none of the normally expected steps to transition. my go-to response these days is that i already feel like i'm man enough without any extra steps. i believe i have a man's body (because i am a man and its my body) and i believe i wear men's clothing (because i am a man and they're my clothes), and i very much enjoy how i look now, so i don't feel like changing to adhere to typical gender conventions. i don't think my conception of my own manhood is shaky enough to be toppled by wearing a dress, so i don't abstain from doing what i want. not that that gains me any more understanding usually -_-

[@capuchinmarmoset]

heyyy I like your videos. i'm just a binary woman with a "boring" gender (I call it boring lol), but I think people - trans or cis - should be able present themselves however they want and label themselves however they want, and people should try to afford them respect and understanding. keep up the good work!

[@sallyannburke2607]

I’m a masculine lesbian who’s questioning my gender. I love collecting and carrying purses and sometimes like wearing make up and wearing feminine shoes. Early on in my queer journey a lady accused me of stealing my own purse be “you don’t look like someone who would carry a purse” this Karen threatened to call the police until I showed her my ID.

[@valentinewiggin7782]

That is such an awkward experience.

[@shiabue]

I’ve seen a couple other trans masculine people (including myself) talk about how liberating it is to explore femininity after affirming their gender. I have some more feminine clothes that I’ve saved to wear after my top surgery. As I go through my transition, it excites me to be able to express myself in more feminine ways, in ways that I didn’t feel comfortable to beforehand

[@patchyfish1]

i HATED wearing anything I considered feminine, it made me feel trapped and so so so uncomfortable... after I had Top Surgery, 30-40% of my wardrobe is now dresses, skirts, frilly socks and pink.

[@odothedoll2738]

This is why cut my hair by The Who is one of my dysphoria anthems. (for reference I’m a semi closeted enby) “why should I care if I have to cut my hair, I’ve got to move with the fashion or be outcast.” He’s talking about how becoming a mod, but to me its about my gender. I feel like I I have to be more masculine to be non-binary because otherwise I just look like a girl so I shouldn’t try. This has been dragging me down for years.

[@graveyardpansy]

the who was one of the first bands i enjoyed of my own volition and u have a soft spot for them :)) nothing better than music that gives you gender feelings.look however you wanna look, at your own pace.

[@DylanKanna]

gay trans-man here. In the gay community there are a lot of femme presenting men and i like feminine clothing aswell but because i am not a cis man society tends to invalidate me because of that, call me a trans-trender a 'girl' that apropiates gay relationships or fetishizes gay-men and i honestly take those words to heart too much and tend to only present maskuline because of that. I wish i could let go of that mindset and present the way i wanted freely but i have some internal work to do there still. Anyways im happy for anyone who lives truly how they want you guys truly give me hope 🙏

[@bigoof99]

I am a trans man and I genuinely have a hard time understanding this. It’s not that I think you are doing something taboo by engaging in ‘feminine’ fashion stuff and behaviors, it’s that I personally feel less masculine and more dysphoric when interacting with feminine coded fashion and behaviors. I think a lot of trans people’s dysphoria is very informed by social constructs. We have trouble understanding why your dysphoria would be only based on primary and secondary sex characteristics and not also about gender expression. It’s not that I think you are wrong or less trans or less entitled to be gender nonconforming, it’s just that my dysphoria doesn’t behave the way yours does. And this is something we have to remind ourselves of, not everyone experiences dysphoria the same way.

[@hellky99]

I 100% agree with you, she's just a woman in testosterone who doesn't even know what real dysphoria is

[@phoebegee54]

For me personally as a feminine trans man, my dysphoria is primarily physical. I want to wear feminine clothing but have a masculine body.

[@bigoof99]

@@hellky99 Definitely didn’t say that.

[@antimale]

​@@hellky99 you do understand that gender dysphoria can also be physical

[@NB_Wildflower]

Your unapologetic comitment to non-conformity of societal expectations is admirable and inspiring. I love so much that your expression of identity and presentation continue to confront people with their own implicit biases (and in just existing, you gently ask them to do that introspective examination). I identify as a non-binary femme, and I also get questioned a lot about it (because 'if my agab is women then why would I claim enby but then also still present femme?') Ahahahahha (and that's before I try to explain the pansexual aromantic orientation ahahahah). My explanation usually revolves around my identity haver never really feeling aligned with womanhood. There was def some internalized misogyny toward a gender expression that I disassociated myself from (I was an ND tomboy because 'ew girls'), but in my teens that embrace of masc presentation provided a distance from my growing awareness of gender. I just avoided examining my relationship to gender altogether. It took some time to unpack all of that, and feel comfortable with my agab and the ways that I was socialized to present (and in turn, the ways I vehemently rejected those expectations to the point of perpetuating the opressions of that society). It wasn't until I came across a male streamer who painted their nails that I realized that something like nail painting was also not inherently gendered and was socialized to present femme. And it wasn't until after embracing my own non-binary identity I felt safe enough to explore my own femme presentation of my identity. And so what I tell everyone who finds confusion with this is that I think everyone, even cisgendered individuals deserve to introspect and develop a deep and meaninful connection with their gender identity and expression. Because it's that relationship to oneself that really is freeing, regardless of where the specifics land.

[@NB_Wildflower]

Also thinking about this, societally women are so much more able to explore the gamut of gender expression and play with it in a way that men are not "allowed" to as much. Women are more able to be tomboys or dress unisex rock boycuts etc etc, but that freedom only moves in one direction (what society says should be the aspirational direction). But I want to encourage men and masc presenting to explore that gamut just as equally. I don't ever want to require/expect of someone who wants to claim masc attributes to feel beholden to claiming the toxic aspects of it that can be so culturally tied to it. We can play and thats the whole fun of it!

[@starrykev]

feeling more free to be "feminine" after T is so real, i totally anticipate that for myself - not even just like physical features but just the process of self actualization, like feeling settled in your gender enough to experiment with aesthetic choices

[@sirenioftheaxisorder1800]

My answer as to why I do X masculine thing even tho I'm a trans woman: "Because X has been decoupled from gender for me in such a way that I don't feel dysphoric from seeing it on myself nor does it diminish from my own womanhood." The struggles of being an amab butch lesbian.

[@rydellgrimes]

“[Makeup] is an artistic expression, not a gender one” 🔥🔥🔥

[@xilj4002]

Thanks, I really needed the reminder that I adore men in makeup. Dysphoria was winning over my winter face sparkles

[@AnnaCatherineB]

For each question you could have answered, "have you seen men??" But instead you explained so much and told us so so many cool things about yourself, so thank you ♡

[@IArtIdinaMenzel]

I'm a feminine trans guy who's at a point in transition where I sometimes pass and have started using the men's room when I dress more traditionally masculine. For other feminine guys, how do you manage public restrooms? I've been toning down my femininity (pants rather than skirts) recently, and would love to hear how others manage public restrooms. Thank you!

[@mylesfoxx1383]

My mom said I don’t “look trans” because I wear skirts dresses and makeup, this video is exactly how I feel

[@raiven3022]

Your videos are so refreshing. You’re able to deliver information that isn’t condescending and egotistical like most video essays nowadays. Hearing YOUR opinion and YOUR reasoning without shoving statistics references in a script makes it so much easier to understand. I love your channel!

[@wilkobye9533]

I just rewatched the gay and wondrous life of Caleb gallo and there's the scene in the last episode where benicio is like explaining why painting his nails gives him clarity and he says "it's like. I literally like. Pink. On my nails. It doesn't feel like it has to be rebellion" and he's so right. This reminded me of that

[@spydula1]

"Why are people scared of transmasculine femininity?" Because it's TOO POWERFUL. It's possible to disrupt the space-time continuum when energy concentrates in one space like this.

[@mikado8224]

As a transmasculine enby who has been growing their "just came out as trans" pixie for three years and is interpreted as feminine/a woman because of it, this video was very healing to watch, thank you!

[@bonlynx]

This reminded me a lot of when I had a therapist who seemed knowledgeable and understanding based on conversations we had so after several sessions I mentioned being nonbinary and she responded something like oh why and how long have you chosen to present female? And I was like ??????? I'm not???????????? Nothing about me that day or really in any of our previous sessions was gendered. I had medium length hair which I've definitely seen on any gender?? I think that day I had it in a ponytail because I had just come from work but like cis men do that sometimes when they have medium or long hair?? I had jeans, tshirt, hoodie. No makeup. Nothing about how I was dressed or anything I had with me was specifically "female". And with that one simple question she pretty much completely lost my trust and demonstrated she didn't really know anything about this stuff despite insisting she did. I stopped mentioning gender and sexuality stuff after that. She was weird about a few other things I said and I eventually had to switch insurance that she didn't take so I had to stop seeing her anyway but yeah idk that sticks in my head a lot. I've had similar stuff with family who insist they're super progressive and accepting or whatever but make it very clear they don't understand any of this stuff even after I've tried to help educate, provide resources, etc. Very frustrating and annoying.

[@lonk2026]

this this this this this this this! i'm nonbinary, and a lot of the time i like to present pretty femme. i'm growing my hair out, i mostly wear women's clothes, i wear dresses and skirts a ton, and i don't really have much of an issue with the more feminine looking aspects of my body. for a long time, i didn't consider the possibility that i might not be cis and forced myself to stay in the closet because my stupid middle school brain thought that i must be a girl if i still liked skirts and stuff, and it would be disrespectful to "real trans people" if i let myself explore my gender. it wasn't until high school when i cut my hair and pretty much exclusively wore masculine clothes that i allowed any sort of gender questioning to happen, and it's taken me a long time to not feel ashamed and for lack of a better word fake when i dress in a way that used to be so comfortable. it's taken me so long to unlearn the whole "gender identity = gender expression" thing and let myself be happy. thank you so much for talking about this! edit: the things you're saying about stuff not even being necessarily gendered at all is so real. that's why i'm happy presenting the way i do, because i've realized that skirts, long hair, all that doesn't have to be and isn't just a woman thing. mentally removing gender from the equation when considering clothes and stuff has been so awesome and it just feels like a giant weight has been lifted off me.

[@marissaparadis9566]

The answer is so simple tho.. gender identity and gender expression is simply not the same thing. Both most of the time go together, but they're not the same thing and I wish cis ppl could understand that

[@vi_pravi]

As a trans man myself, I also enjoy presenting in more feminine ways. But for me it IS a gender thing. I liked how man look with makeup and in feminine clothing even before transitioning. And when I put on makeup and wear a dress, I want to look like a man in a makeup and a dress. And that's what makes it fun, because the way I present contradicts the societal ideas about gender and that's fun.

[@coffee-ouji]

i've had this question asked before myself too by people irl. All the times i answered "well, it's not an exclusively girl thing to do makeup/have long hair/use nail polish or have long nails". I was asked this question many times in school but surprisingly out of genuine curiosity or maybe even concern that i might feel gender dysphoria?? that was weird but awesome!! strangely enough ppl at my school called me my chosen name and just took it, but they always were weirded out by me wearing makeup when i was a guy "isn't that a girl thing? you say you're a boy?" is oftenly the justification for that awkward question but then i would repeat "it's not an exclusively girl thing"

[@wh3n-w1ll-1t-3nd.]

My answer to why I’m feminine as a trans boy: I like feminine boys so I became the feminine boy :3

[@anxious_dem0n]

Honestly part of the reason I love alt subcultures so much is because the lines of gender expectations are so blurred

[@Lionfrog13]

As a trans woman I think there’s an added nuance to this. Femininity in our society is often seen as extra work. Putting on makeup is more effort than not putting on makeup. This serves to flatten society. Women are expected to wear makeup while men are expected not to. The effort that expresses your identity is reduced to an obligation. When a man wears makeup that breaks the order. Why would a man put effort into looking feminine, is he really a man? Makeup is no longer identity but rather a gender marker. As a trans woman if I don’t wear makeup I lose the condition of being a woman. If I don’t put in effort society insists I am not myself. A cis woman not wearing makeup is seen as in some way failing to meet the bar of woman hood. A trans woman not wearing makeup is simple absconding the title of woman because to not perform as a woman is to be a man. The game is rigged so don’t play it.

[@SwarmofBees-inatrenchcoat]

Thank you so much for this video. I find that question to be so annoying, and I sometimes feel hesitant to wear skirts, makeup, etc., because it makes me more likely to be misgendered. I'm still working on trying to unlearn the ideas about certain forms of expression being gendered. I've been having a lot of fun lately exploring my style and figuring out what I like. I recently learned some cool new ways to draw a tie (Eldredge knot is my favorite), got a corset style top, got some more fun flowy skirts with pockets, learned how to do eyeliner, learned how to put on stage makeup, and started wearing kilts. Even with all the freedom and euphoria that these outfit choices give me, I still have a lot more work to do in terms of being comfortable with "feminine" expression. I had my hair short for a few years, but then I got an undercut and started growing it out, and I think that might be part of the reason why strangers seem to constantly misgender me lately. Sometimes it really gets to me, but I think I'm starting to get to the point where I care more about what I like than how others perceive me. I like my long hair and my makeup and my hoodies and kilts and ties and band shirts and fishnets and skirts. So yeah, to anybody struggling with this: this is your sign to go put on that piece of clothing you love that doesn't "fit" your gender, look in the mirror, and see how pretty you can be!

[@t4m1n0_]

i feel like i only could start with experimenting with my style more when i start taking testo, but im happy that i can finally start soon:D after waiting for years, because it was difficult to get appointments... its going to be so much easier not caring what i wear or what i look like because as u said because of more typical masculine features. my hair now are almost at my shoulders and im thinking about cutting them because more and more people start misgendering again, even tho i like my hair. BUT WHen I FINAlly hav like a deeper voice and stuff people wouldnt do that aaaaaaaaaaaa

[@Jackk225]

I’m glad you gave those people benefit of the doubt even though it’s usually in bad faith. Because 10 years ago I had the same questions. The answer is so obvious in retrospect but if you’ve never been around queer people, simple stuff can be so hard to wrap your head around. I really didn’t *get* it until I saw Paris is Burning, and heard trans people talking about our own history for the first time.

[@ArekusaSan]

Personally as a trans person who has exposure to a large variety of trans people with wildly varying presentations, I was also confused about these questions. I guess I’ve done a lot of decoupling from gender and presentation, because I’m so used to people fitting outside the binary. I understand the logic behind the binary gender stuff, but it baffles me that people try to ask why you’re wearing makeup. To reiterate on a point you brought up, I guess it just makes so much sense to me why trans masc people wear makeup and skirts, or why trans fems wear no makeup and suits, because those things feel far more comfortable when you’re not confined to a label you have no connection with. It’s not fun to wear clothes people expect you to wear because they see an arbitrary label before they see you as a person; being pressured to wear makeup and dresses is not fun, so being transmasculine - among other things - gives you the freedom to enjoy something that is now subversive. I guess cis people and young/binary trans people don’t understand this since there’s a lot of narrative around transgenderism being a phase, or any GNC/nonbinary identity not being actually real, so this level of gender complexity freaks them out. I think people need to get weirder with their gender cause you can do whatever you want forever.

[@juniorjedi2563]

A better way of phrasing the question would be “how are you comfortable doing X as a (trans) man.” I’d say this video adequately answers that phrasing of the question.

[@Itsme-qo2le]

It's so crazy how different people see and feel gender. Like how many people still just have the boy box and the girl box (and everyone not cis is lying), and others feel it so strongly in them to need to correct their outside to fit their inside, that not doing so would harm them in all kind of ways, while I'm at a point where there's only a small handful of attributes left that feel very masc or fem to me. Could say I'm almost immune to gender haha, especially for my agender self. But I'll just trust you when you tell me about your gender identity and why it's important to you :)

[@wakemeupinside83]

This is never a question asked to cis men bruh, why are trans men expected to be hyper masculine or super masculine Edit: I’m goth and questioning being transmasc, I really wish people would see makeup as an art-form rather than something automatically feminine

[@allyberg2792]

It’s frustrating when you’re at the start of your transition and want to be seen as male and people around you question your validity if you’re not 100% binary pre T. If you show any interest in fashion or feminine things then people make you feel like you aren’t trans enough which is so wild

[@CorwinFound]

Trans guy here, 48, who presents pretty typically masc. Over the past year I've let go of a lot of the desire to pass as a cis guy. (I mostly don't pass.) And I'm so much happier. What has struck me is in conversations with cis family and friends, saying that I'm no longer trying to pass, is how almost horrified they can be. "But your a trans guy. Surely you _must_ want to pass and be seen as a man." They see the goal as me trying to be a cis man. And when I say nope, that even if I could I wouldn't wave a wand and make myself cis, they really don't get it. It very much feels like the "acceptable queer" issue. That the really only valid goal of queer people should be to assimilate with cishet society. So gender presentation that falls outside of cishet normativity isn't valid.

[@champainon7633]

the hair one always grinds my gears personally because it’s pretty common for men in my culture to wear their hair long and to other people it’s considered abnormal or even unclean, like i know mothers who were told “cut your son’s hair, he looks like a girl.” Just because something is considered gendered one way in some cultures doesn’t mean it is in others.

[@CoolKaius]

We cannot forget everyone who cannot express themselves publicly due to the risks of violence, homelessness, loss of their job, and loss of relationships. Being gender nonconforming is not something everyone can do safely. In extreme cases, even cis women are pushed to be more feminine.

[@Iamthatis137]

Yeeeasss!!! Here’s my story: I don’t even try to explain the fact that I’m non-binary trans and not a guy. Took me years to figure out. I’m 36. Lately my family who are all super gendered and gendering… every time they call me a man or lump me in with the men I say “I’m not a man.” And it’s usually just met either with nothing or an “ok…” and we move one and they’re just not even going to go there with me. 😅 My husband does identify as and is a man and is usually about being nonconfrontational even at cost to the self, but said that’s fine to respond that way because I’m not a man so it’s the proper response. But yeah. Wearing jeans and hoodies and men’s clothes and short basic hair no makeup not even painted nails… but not being a guy/boy/ man…just blows most peoples minds I’m sure. And I get it because I had to expand my own understanding and cognitively move beyond gendered conditioning and it took almost a decade… but now it’s silly and annoying to me because most people don’t even try… (the reason I wear the clothes and hair hairstyle I do and don’t decorate myself is because my aesthetic and existence itself is… comfy… broke and lazy. That’s my gender. 😅😂)

[@fyofyoriosity2350]

16:39 No actually, I care! I didn't ask these questions specifically but I'm glad some people asked for whatever reason; and even more glad that you gave your genuine response. I would have been curious too. Thank you for giving a measured response even for those that did not ask but were curious! Especially since it feels good to hear Because I'm not trans, I have friends in uni who are but I always sorta felt.... in the way on either side. Like, I'm not trans, I'm not caring for gender roles, and I'm definitely not the norm either. So I am always open to listen to different experiences, yet it never felt okay to relate to those experiences? It always felt scary to ask. Because while I can relate to some things a lot with my trans friends, I'm...still not trans, nor intersex, nor wanting to permanently change into the other sex. If I could choose, I would honestly like to be something neutral, or both, or be able to constantly shapeshift back and forth? It's really not the same, but it makes me really curious about why people choose what they do. And it always feels super insensitive to be curious about other people's opinions and storys about gender, because even if I am interested in them, i never really fit or know where whose boundaries are. Love your outfits and makeup, and the way you can address things very calmly, go you!

[@datadealerkneelawk8442]

When I first saw a trans man in a dress, I was so confused. Back then, I had thought that being a trans man was a rejection of the feminine. I had thought that wearing a dress would be so dysphoria inducing for him. Now I have a deeper understanding of gender and conformity. Now I see gender non-conformity as a really neat and I really like it. It's also easier for me to see things as gendered or un-gendered. I still have a lot of internal stuff around my gender I'm working through. I'm trans-fem nb, but it's still so hard for me to wear clothing not associated with my AGAB outside my bedroom.

[@difeth_]

I think what you've said about how a lot of things are to a certain extent degendered in alternative (and especially goth) spaces is really apparent to me in that as someone who has been very interested in alternative fashion and subculture for a very long time, my gauge on what is "normal" and what is not has been completely destroyed, not just in regards to expectations of gender presentation, but in clothing/makeup/etc. entirely. I think it links in with how my goals with my transition is not to be hyper-masculine, in fact it leans much heavier into androgyny and femininity entirely because of my participation in alternative subcultures. Long hair, makeup, nail polish, even skirts and dresses have all come to a degendered status amongst most alternative people (or at least in my experiences they have), which I find really empowering - it means I don't feel like my gender is invalidated by any expression of femininity I have. If anything, it's reinforced.

[@east_coastt]

I wish for cis people to experience this level of gender freedom

[@cairn4838]

Once my friend said she mentioned me in a conversation with her brother and he said “oh they’re the one who looks like a werewolf, right?” And that’s sort of what I’m going for when I wear makeup

[@prestonbruchmiller497]

I know who I am and the people who love me know who I am and I don’t really care about how everyone else perceives me so I don’t really consider how others will read my expression.

[@gottawatchthatjuj-juj]

As a trans women, trans femboys are the best femboys.

[@DUWANGlai_kangyi]

Trans femboys and trans tomboys are 😳

[@ThePupYT]

As someone who also worked in horse stables, I get the nail polish thing. Totally understandable. Also, I think the confusion comes from the societal narrative that trans people supposedly want to distance themselves from what is associated with their assigned gender (like trans women supposedly want to distance themselves from masculinity and trans men from femininity). I know that's not always the case, but I think that seems to be what the current society seems to believe. Also, said narrative doesn't take non binary people into consideration.

[@N1kola1_]

Haven't watched this yet, but still think those is going to be an amazing 21:45 minutes. Rad look though!

[@xotoast]

I'm 29 and late realized autistic. I have been slowly getting more into gender and identity information and issues. And literally yesterday I felt a huge gender crisis. Which is completely new to me. So just thanks for posting your story and sharing it with the world. It's very helpful and comforting.

[@graveyardpansy]

a LOT of autistic ppl are also gender-variant in one way or another! you are far from alone, & i hope learning more about yourself is healing and liberating :)

[@ell2205m]

I’m questioning wether or not I’m a trans guy and my biggest worry so far has probably been about dresses/skirts etc. I don’t wear them as often as I used to, but I do still wear them every now and then and I wouldn’t want to get rid of them. I know my parents would not understand if I said I was a guy AND I still wore dresses and my biggest fear is probably that they would want me to give them away and I feel like this thought is holding me back from accepting my gender identity (I’ve literally been questioning my gender for like 3 years but am still in denial lol). This video and all the supportive comments honestly makes me feel a lot more accepted and supported so thank you for making this

[@Despairking03]

Ahh im so happy to see another feminine presenting trans man as one myself i strive to be my best self and that just includes make up and dresses im happy to have found your channel

[@poppaelias4175]

Ashton your conclusions about makeup are spot on, as one of those trans nonbinary guys who had the opposite experience with makeup (was hyperfeminine middle-high school and wore lots of makeup before coming out), and few to no good examples of men wearing makeup growing up, which is exactly what i attribute my hesitancy/dysphoria around makeup now. i’m working back to a point where i feel comfortable wearing makeup again (honestly going on t and being validated in my masculinity more has helped for sure, but it’s internal work). I dye my eyebrows red to match my hair and wear some eyeliner on a regular basis now, and it makes me happy :)

[@merthsoft]

I relate so much to what you said about nail polish. Bi, cis man here. I just like the way it looks! It looks cool to have colorful nails. And as a guitarist, it looks extra cool!

[@the.masked.one.studio4899]

I’m glad you’re explaining this to people. I’m not familiar with your work, but I figured you were pretty punk by the thumbnails. Thanks for kindly explaining these concepts to folks. 💖

[@TRASHP1X1E]

Hey Ashton do you plan on doing another patches n parley? Also could ya show us your diy clothes?

[@jojosbladventure8407]

DUDE im a freshman in highschool who has he/him pronouns. Ive been trans ever since the 4th grade, when i realized something was up, and for years i have been ashamed for wearing eyeliner and having a cropped shirt... And pink hair... I freaking hate it, and i havent felt comfortable wearing that shit anymore, because my transmasc friends told me that when they first saw me, they thought i was a girl and genuinely mess up my pronouns a lot. It ashames me and i hate it.

[@jojosbladventure8407]

I also want to be a drag queen, it's been a dream for a long time and it's a little weird but idk

[@graveyardpansy]

there are so many incredible trans drag artists!! it is very possible!! you can wear whatever you want

[@mandyknight1410]

I don’t wear makeup as a woman outside of skin insecurities, I had to listen to other women to understand why they want to wear makeup. I genuinely want to thank you for making this video and answering those questions sincerely. I wouldn’t comment those questions because it’s 1 rude, 2 none of my business, and 3 obvious… because you like it. But I want to know from people (who are comfortable sharing) why do you express yourself that way? Not as an accusation, but a genuine human interest in a fellow human.

[@graveyardpansy]

that totally makes sense! i have read and enjoyed a lot of feminist discussion surrounding makeup and personally, it feels like a little artistic-self-care-ritual, when I have time to do it. currently I wear makeup maybe once or twice a week, at most. I only wear lipstick if I’m taking pictures or doin youtube, bc everywhere else I go, I wear a mask. idk if that’s interesting or the kind of discussion you wanted but if there’s any other curiosities you have I’d love to hear em :)

[@loucif4349]

GLOSS SHIRT !!! WE LOVE TO SEE IT !!! 🩷

[@AloeHalo]

I always like your content! Will watch this sometime soon!

[@ghoulishshift]

I'm a binary trans man and honestly I still can't say I understand this. It's the fact that I don't see how presenting feminine doesn't cause dysphoria. Presenting gnc as a trans person is a fastpass to getting misgendered, cause discomfort, confusion and give yourself an easily fixable layer of dysphoria. Then there's people who say you don't need to have dysphoria to be trans, but I can't see why you would transition in the first place if you experience no real distress from just staying cis. Medical transition shouldn't just be a stylistic choice bc you like it slightly more, you shouldn't just get your body how you want it then be like "well idc if ppl think I'm a woman"... It's odd behaviour at best. However I can understand the subculture thing, I myself am a metalhead so grow out my hair bc that's the norm but the difference for me is that doing this has actually got me gendered correctly more. Nail polish, long hair, even heels, makeup whatever.. it's fine, but there's a line and a way you can go about doing those things in a way that looks masculine. Anyway, again I don't understand why fem trans men are like this and it's frustrating. Well, idk, if you're happy all the best to you I guess..

[@jackriver8385]

The un-gendering! I relate to that a lot, I don't really see many of the things I do as gendered, they are just things I enjoy and that make me feel good about myself. I try to raise my kids that way too, and it's been amazing to see what they do if they aren't restricted by gender roles and expectations. There's so much creativity and freedom in how they express themselves, and it inspires me every day!

[@KarolaTea]

Pro tip: Professional studio gel nails. I work got a manual labour heavy indusrty job, and the gel nails usually last until they grow out. Sure, the surface can scratch a bit eventually, but those scratches are only in the top coat, not the actual colour, so you only see them up close and in the right light. I think if the question is asked in good faith, the question behind it could be getting a better understanding of what gender means to you/why you transitioned. Like you said you don't care if someone at walmart thinks you're a woman if you wear a dress. But to someone else (maybe esp people pre-transition) being read as the right gender by strangers can be very important, so they wonder how it comes you "risk" being read incorrectly. Or like you said, dresses used to make you dysphoric, a lot of pre-transition people probably have the same/similar experience with a lot of other "gendered" things. So what kinda magic do you know that lets you be comfortable in dresses and makeup?

[@forestfreeman1600]

These r the affirmations trans guys of today need bless u bro❤

[@dontreadthisplease2416]

I'm nonbinary and I only started using makeup after beginning to id as nonbinary as well. That also coincided with a more masculine presentation in general (I was never very feminine before tbh) Light makeup though. Have never been able to look in the mirror with lipstick on. I would try it when I was younger and actually cry lol, although at that time my reasoning was "it makes me look like a prostitute" (which was completely false because I was literally a fat kid in a tshirt and jeans) Look, I was 14. But I definitely get how trans men are more comfortable wearing makeup after transitioning but not before. It's the idea of being able to wear makeup and STILL look male that's appealing. That and just being less insecure after transitioning. I get it lol.

[@lioo6613]

thank you so much for this video!! I relate a lot :)

[@pansyd137]

Hi Ashton. I have this question inwardly whenever I see trans people who present in ways that might conventionally align with their pre-transition sex. I respect that you took the time to make this video, and it is clear that you put a lot of thought into your physical appearance. I think one thing people get stuck on is the logically inconsistent referral to physical appearance as both a vehicle for gender expression vs something that should rightly be considered gender independent. To me, the desire for makeup, nail painting, long hair etc and other archetypally masculine/feminine forms of physical presentation to be reimagined as genderless modes of self-expression (7:27) seems to point towards a desire for gender not to be evaluated visually. If this is the case, why make a physical transition? (Especially if body parts =/= gender?) It is conceptually confusing territory

[@Blanche_255]

i love this video youre literally the person who made me start makeup AND question my gender lol

[@IArtIdinaMenzel]

Yes! Haven't watched yet, but as a feminine trans guy, this is exactly what I've been looking for.

[@jannuarytrash]

as a feminine enby, "fem" transmasc people bring me life i love you so much

[@bumpgrrl]

i appreciate your genuine answers!! I don't ask people those questions, because I assume the answer boils down to "because I like it" (it's why I dress the ways I do...), but I liked hearing your expanded and personal answers on why you like it. 💜

[@TerrariaGolem]

Yknow, I had so many questions on why my ex boyfriend (nonbinary transmasc) wanted to be a femboy, but I always concluded his aesthetic needs were none of my business and as long as he was working on his maturity and hygiene we'd be happy. :) Sadly he progressively made hurtful immature decisions but dealing with his unique hobbies (furry artist and furry), his gender needs, and his sensory issue boundaries helped me develop more understanding for the turbulent change within others and helped me learn my own boundaries and needs. Still left over confused, still some sort of queer sexuality and non binary, but at least I was left with more growth than questions.

[@Soda_bat]

Hi I just wanted to tell you that you helped me with my transition since I was like 11 (I even named myself Ashton after you) so thank you for helping me and most definitely other trans guys ^^

[@WhoTFReallyCares]

Before I came out as a trans woman, I often had long hair, wore makeup, and wore feminine clothes. Most individuals were completely comfortable with my appearance. Most of the time, I was given compliments. No one brought up or questioned my gender/sex/identity during that time in my life. It wasn't until the last decade that perspectives have changed to where those of us who are trans are questioned on a regular basis, especially online. Your shared perspective matches mine beautifully. I believe our appearance and gender are to be seen as unrelated or blurred to the point that absolutely nobody bats a questioning eye. When you mentioned, "Have you seen Interview With a Vampire?", I cackled 😂. That movie definitely was a sexual awakening outside of the heterosexual expectations I was held to at the time. Oof, very sexy men 😍. Men, women, and nonbinary people look exceptionally attractive to me with long hair 🥰. Regardless of my gender identity, I've always preferred and have felt more at ease/comfortable presenting "femininely." The more feminine, the better I feel.