In Defence of Mrs Bennet | Video Essay | Pride & Prejudice

Hello Friends, todays video is something a little bit different, kind of a video essay about Pride and Prejudice, classism, inheritance law and marriage in Regency England and a look at why we hate Mrs Bennet.
Also I just wanted an excuse to watch Alison Steadman's hilarious performance in the 1995 BBC mini series of Pride and Prejudice, the one with the wet shirt Colin Firth.
Copywright for Pride and Prejudice (1995) resides with the BBC and A&E Network. I am using it under fair dealing in relation to use for criticism, review or quotation.
ko-fi.com/roisinisreading

[@Visplight]

Yup. Mr. Bennett is the "Fun Dad" who seems cool as a kid, but when you grow up you realize that he's actually a pretty crappy parent that has been ignoring is basic responsibilities as a parent. Mrs. Bennett is the "Nagging Wife" and "Mean Mom" that seems like a bummer at first, but she's legitimately stressed out because she's the one actually doing all the work in the family, and always having to be the "Bad Guy" who makes the kids do their homework, etc.

[@fatemah4444]

Okay but did you have to expose my whole childhood like that😥 Very good likening.

[@jacquelinewinter7312]

Except the one thing she doesn't do is making the kids do their homework- learning anything at all is up to the girls themselves. Three do- Jane and Lizzie thanks to early Gardiner influence, Mary on her own, and poorly, and the 2 youngest- zero. The last 3 are where Mr. Bennet's neglect really does show.

[@xqueenfrostine]

@@jacquelinewinter7312 I don’t know that I agree with that. Did Mrs. Bennet push her daughters to be develop themselves academically? Obviously not, though it’s unlikely she could have done so even if she wanted to given her own lack of education. But did she push her daughters to learn things she thought would make them more marriageable such the arts of entertaining and socializing? Yes. If the point of education is to learn things that will help you get further in life, why wouldn’t these things be considered homework too in a world where advancement for women happened exclusively through marriage.

[@Julia-lk8jn]

@@xqueenfrostine I know the book pretty much by heart, but I can't think of any evidence that the girls were encouraged to learn valuable skills by either of their parents. Lizzie said in Rosings something like "those of us who decided to be idle were allowed to be so" (I didn't google the exact words); that's a pretty clear statement. And when Mr Elton wanted to compliment the daughters on the good dinner, Mrs Bennet took the idea that her householder would get any assistance (from her or her daughters) as an affront. That assistance doesn't have to be scrubbing pots or plucking the chicken. It can be in planning the courses and the shopping, making sure that things that need eating are used up... that's stuff that we hardly think about, but in a place without refridgerator that's a valuable skill. It keeps food stuffs going to waste, and your servants from skimming off the top, or buying luxury foods for themselves. The only reason to not have your daughters learn that is if you assume that hey, they are all pretty, they'll get a rich husband who won't mind if his wife has no useful skills whatsoever. So yes, Mrs Bennet was right about the girls needing husbands, but she didn't handle that very well. In contrast who her husband, who didn't handle it at all.

[@Julia-lk8jn]

@@jacquelinewinter7312 True. I've got that inkling that with the first two, Mr Bennet was still interested because he was sure that 'the next one will be the heir'. I love that moment where Mrs Bennet sends Lydia off with the advice "to enjoy herself as much as she can". To shop-lift from a different author: That's like imploring gasoline to burn.

[@happybkwrm]

I always felt somewhat sorry for her. She has FIVE daughters who will end up in POVERTY if at least two don't marry well (or at least respectably) and dear old dad is too busy sitting in his library ignoring reality to give a damn.

[@RoisinsReading]

Haha exactly

[@eb7446]

By the standards of their class they would be in poverty, but the interesting thing is - compared to the rest of England at this time, the girls pooling their 50 pounds per year income would have made them well off compared to the majority. It wouldn't be enough for them to maintain their dignity as members of the gentry, or to enjoy good society though. That is why they call it genteel poverty. If we included all 5 girls and Mrs. Bennet - they would have over 300 pounds a year together. Way more than an average working family of the time.

[@Julia-lk8jn]

Yes, so much. She's being silly and rather counter-productive, but at least she cares about the future of her daughters. All her husband does is not bothering to teach his younger daughters anything (because they're _just_ daughters, don't tell me he wouldn't have been all over a son like white on rice), insulting them when they turn out like their mother, and then in the end being quite happy to leave it to Darcy to pick up the bill. Between him and his wife, he deserves a solid, educational kicking much more than she does.

[@Tasha9315]

I wonder how much of it is because he himself would never be destitute. He would have his estate and income as long as he lives. It would be his wife and daughters who suffer once he dies should they not be married well.

[@happybkwrm]

@@Tasha9315 EXACTLY. He'll be dead.

[@runawaypony429]

The older I get and the more I understand the social structure of that time period, the more I realize that Mr. Bennett wasn’t really as good of a father as I used to think.He was financially irresponsible in not saving money for his daughters, ridicules his wife and encourages his daughters to do the same, clearly plays favorites with his daughters, and by his own admission, doesn’t really accept responsibility as he should. This is a great video.

[@RoisinsReading]

Thank you! I think a lot of the point of Pride and Prejudice is that things aren't as they first appear. After all the working title was First Impressions

[@happybkwrm]

He was a lazy, selfish man and a poor excuse of a father

[@bethanyconboy4481]

Yes! He’s a terrible father. He could have stopped Lydia going to Bath but just ... doesn’t so he won’t have to put up with her whining. If he had taken the time to invest in his daughters, both financially and emotionally, the family wouldn’t be in the desperate state it finds itself in

[@ellie698]

Exactly. From the 1995 adaptation, we're encouraged to like him, since we're encouraged to laugh at his jokes (never mind at whose expense they are...) and see him favourably because he favours OUR favourite of the Bennet daughters. That adaptation is wonderful but it shapes our view of the two parents in completely the wrong way. He's as useless at securing the futures of his daughters as Sir Walter Elliot is. This is quite a theme in Austen's work isn't it? What were her views on her own father's attitude to his responsibilities in this regard do we know? Perhaps this is a great idea for a future video please!? Was Jane commenting in her novels on her disappointment at her own father?

[@MariaRodriguez-dx6sm]

I think in modern times is more difficult for us to see how terrible as father he is, specifically now that a woman can make herself a living and at least have decent life by themselves. Unmarried women during that time were practically condemned to destitution or just poverty at best

[@JadedAlice]

It actually is kind of nice how Mrs. Bennet dislikes Darcy despite his money because he was rude to Lizzy. I never really thought of it that way before.

[@breannap8585]

I always read that as more proof of her mercenary/practical nature rather than affection for Lizzy. He was rude to Lizzy, yes, but the only reason why Lizzy's singed out over and over is because she's the heroine. He actually refused all of Mrs. Bennet's daughters, as well as the daughters of the entire neighborhood. What good is his 10,000 if he isn't interested in marrying?

[@annainspain5176]

@@breannap8585 He wasn't interested in marrying *a village girl.* He probably had his sights set higher, if he thought about marrying it would be to someone of his own class or better, possibly even nobility since he is so impressed with himself.

[@kevinrussell1144]

I should slap myself for being so blunt, but you and your two reply-cohorts are WAY off base. Mrs. B. didn’t dislike Mr. Darcy because he was rude to Lizzie, but because she thought him lost as a possible son-in-law. Darcy was simply being honest at the first meeting; he didn’t expect to find a diamond in a cabbage patch (which Lizzie was). It merely took him a while to realize it. For God’s sake, Breanna, Darcy MARRIED Lizzie despite her less-than-stellar (in the estimation of his class) background. And yes, Darcy WAS inclined to get married. JA said that it was a fact that he WOULD be looking, and in the story he seeks and finds. Good God, Darcy doesn’t think TOO highly of himself, he just values himself (and others) far more than Wickham or Mrs. Bennet. Did you three even read the novel, or are your toxic feminist attitudes so high that your anti-male sensibilities can’t even allow you to see what JA actually says about all these interactions? Darcy is the hero of this novel, NOT Mrs. Bennet, and Darcy comes away with the prize because JA wants it that way.

[@elyssart]

@@kevinrussell1144 I understand your point of view, and I don't think it's incorrect but you also leaned a bit to hard into your passion. No need to start a curfuffle over your love of Darcy. My personal perspective, when reading the novel, was that Mrs. Bennet was displaying contempt in the form of a grudge from the insult provided to her and her daughters. I don't believe that this emotion was necessarily derived from her love of Lizzie but from a place of ego. Her daughter's are an extension of herself in that they are her progeny and in her likeness. She naturally would self identify with them and so takes the slight personally. Breanna P. also had a point in that, although Darcy's desire and affection for Lizzie grew rapidly after their first meeting, from the view of Mrs. Bennet, who has been unaware of most of the thoughts and interactions of the other characters, would have no reason to update her regard of Darcy. We the readers are also left in much mystery regarding Darcy's actions for much of the text. So no need to call the others out with your 'anti-male-feminist' and 'toxic' insults. I may disagree with their opinions on the matter, but taking it so personally because of your own thoughts on gender is rather silly. All of the characters in Pride and Prejudice are flawed, certainly Mrs. Bennet more than Darcy, yet she's just as interesting a character for it.

[@kevinrussell1144]

@@elyssart I am properly chastised. Thanks. You're probably closer to the truth than I am. But I don't "love" Darcy. I think JA did, however, or she would not have let him carry away her Lizzie. However, I'll mostly defend my lack of regard for Mrs. B. At the end of the novel. despite ALL she could have or should have learned about Wickham, she still seems to prefer Wickham to Darcy. Darcy would not openly declare his true feelings for Mrs. Bennet, but I don't think he would ever smile and simper like Wickham, either. She had no regard for Darcy's character or status, but only for the monetary and social advantage that might trickle down to her.

[@bethanyconboy4481]

Now that I am the mother of two small children with another on the way I find myself more and more often honestly thinking “could someone have compassion on my poor nerves??” I thought I was Lizzie but it turns out I’m Mrs Bennet 😂😭

[@RoisinsReading]

Haha I do often feel like saying to my partner "oh you take delight in vexing me!"

[@ellie698]

@@RoisinsReading Don't we all!!!!!

[@jnnytsm]

I think Lizzie might be surprised how much like her mother she becomes. They both have the same managerial instinct, just different principles to guide it.

[@lucie4185]

Exactly I only have 2 I couldn't imagine how little peace I would have for 5, and 8 years between them all no matter how many nanny's they may have had I think Mrs B would still be suffering PTSD from having to deal that.

[@Julia-lk8jn]

Well, naturally. _Miss_ Elizabeth Bennet would hardly have to bother with two small children. Easy enough to not have nerves when you can skip out with a book whenever you feel like it. Best wishes to your poor abused nerves!

[@sarasolomon4812]

The most frustrating thing about Mr Bennett, is that the reason he makes absolutely no attempts to secure his daughters' futures, in because he'll be dead when it becomes a problem. Yes, they might become impoverished and dependent upon the kindness of strangers and distant relatives. Yes, they may live sad and possibly miserable lives. Yes, they may be forced to become governesses or marry unhappily, far beneath their station, but he'll be DEAD so it won't be his problem. He's an incredibly self-absorbed and thoughtless parent. At least Mrs Bennett cares.

[@JamieRobles1]

No, he DID actually. He had already met Mr. Bingley that why Mrs. Bennet could introduce herself to Mr. Bingley without Mr. Bennet at the dance later that week. A woman could not introduce herself to a man without her husband or close relation introducing their family to him. However, Mr. Bennet is kind of haphazard about everything. The only lesson he passes down to his daughters is to be careful of who they marry. That they respect them not just to marry them because they will be taken care of.

[@mffmoniz2948]

@@JamieRobles1 He did that ONE thing. Not enough.

[@elyssart]

He is extremely irresponsible in that regard, true. But saying 'at least Mrs. Bennet cares' is perhaps giving her too much credit. She expresses her fondness for Lydia quite openly but her main motivations in marrying her daughters off to wealthy suitors is to secure her own comfort. I believe that these feelings of self preservation and a desire to age in comfort vastly overshadow any maternal feelings on the matter. Both Mr. and Mrs. Bennet are self-interested and poor parents. Though, very intriguing characters.

[@newperve]

I think he gives up because the task seems insurmountable. If he had started saving half his income 15 years ago when his fifth daughter was born he would have enough to provide for them but he left it too late. Perhaps he didn't think he could limit Mrs. Bennett's spending. But it's far too late now. So he ignores a problem he cannot solve.

[@ToboCastit]

Something I love about Austen is that each of those "annoying middle-aged women" have some excellent qualities. Mrs. Jennings competently nurses Marianne, which we all forget because they never show that onscreen, after being very generous with her time and resources and sympathy. Miss Bates sits with Emma's father for long periods, nurses her own elderly mother, and never has anything but a kind word for anyone. Austen sets us up to feel contempt, and then shows us that these people may be silly and hard to deal with at times, but they are good people who deserve respect.

[@fantasyfiction101]

Mrs. Bennett knows what she's doing, she just needs to be more discreet.

[@RoisinsReading]

Indeed

[@GreasyBaconMan]

Try having 5 daughters and a narcissistic husband, and the day to day nuts and bolts of managing them!

[@weltschmertzz]

"Her husband is a semi professional troll" 💀😂😂😂 Edit: I think Mrs. Bennett is more like an average mother. Her biggest sin is lack of discretion in a time when your true feelings should be modulated depending on your status. I tend to think Lady Catherine and Mrs. Bennett were two sides of the same coin. Lady Catherine's behavior was also indiscreet but nobody thinks ill of her because her possessions are not entailed away from the female line and because she's old money. Also, Mrs. Bennett was one of the most memorable actresses in the BBC1995 show

[@moonskipper]

I've never thought of comparing Mrs. Bennett and Lady Catherine, but that is a very good point! When I think about that more, I can see many similarities between the two characters, but like you said, Lady Catherine is given a pass because of her status and wealth.

[@RoisinsReading]

Yes, you are right! Lady Catherine is in some senses even more insufferable since she is worried about sinking in status whereas Mrs Bennet is searching for security.

[@srkh8966]

Well, Lady Catherine is independently wealthy and of a higher status, but we never see her among her “peers”, so we’re not sure she DOES get away with it. But, entailment has nothing to do with old money, as Royal primogeniture only ended in 2015.

[@aislingyngaio]

@@srkh8966 Lady Catherine actually didn't come from old money. Her father had to sell off both his daughters in marriage to rich men of vastly inferior rank to keep the earldom afloat for their brother, whose own second son had to marry rich despite his colonel's commission. Her husband Sir Lewis de Bourgh however did come from old money, so perhaps it's more accurate to say she married into old money (basically, she brought the noble blood and he brought the money into the marriage, rather like the way Sir Walter considered the "equality" of the marriage between his daughter Anne and Capt Frederick Wentworth in Persuasion) and is determined to hold onto that respectability and even improve it for her daughter. As I understand it, Lady Catherine is probably independently wealthy only from a jointure of her husband's estate, the bulk of which is of course inherited by their daughter as the heiress of Rosings.

[@srkh8966]

@@aislingyngaio old money doesn’t necessarily mean money

[@christinelagueux8155]

I agree. The stress to make sure her daughters are taking care of is understandable.

[@EH23831]

Not to mention herself... she could have been thrown out of her home once her husband died...

[@cminmd0041]

@@EH23831 Just like the Dashwoods were! Now I actually think Mr Collins would rent it to them and stay with his job with Lady Catherine BUT he would expect a fair rent and I'm not sure they could afford to pay it. They would probably have to mover to live the Gardiner's or the Phillip's and most likely split up.

[@EH23831]

@@cminmd0041 and didn’t something similar happen to Austen and her mother (and sister)? They had to rely on her brother’s generosity once her father died.

[@izuela7677]

It's important to point out that the Bingleys are New Money Unlanded Gentry. Technically below the Bennets in social class. This is why the Bingley sisters are so preoccupied with what is proper and cool. They are social climbers hoping to join the established "landed gentry class". Like mrs Bennet did by marriage. They probably feel like her behavior makes all newcomers look bad and are trying to distance themselves from her by laughing at her. Clearly showing they know how to behave in good company. They don't have the social standing to be eccentric, despite being rich. Unlike Lady Catherine de Bourgh, whom married a rich man below her social class. And who can be as blunt and eccentric as she likes around the gentry because she comes from nobility.

[@RoisinsReading]

That is a good point!

[@ellie698]

Excellent point about the Bingley sisters.... Trying to distance themselves from certain behaviours yes. They are trying VERY hard to be accepted, it's absolutely vital to them to fit in with the class they aspire too. I'd never thought of that before. That is a fabulous point that I will have in my mind when I next read the book. For them, marrying someone like Darcy would be such a validation, you can see why they're so keen to secure the match with Darcy. I feel more kindly towards them now. Thank you.

[@einahsirro1488]

I'm amazed that never occurred to me. The very fact that Bingley was looking to purchase land should have clued me in. It really explains why they are so touchy and judgmental.

[@Amcsae]

@@einahsirro1488 could he have been a younger son, too, as opposed to just 'new money'? That would also explain buying property.

[@einahsirro1488]

@@Amcsae That's a possibility, but from what I've gathered, a younger son of an old money family would still have to earn enough to purchase, via a career as either military, medicine, law, or clergy, and of course, Bingley was none of these. I think Izuela must be correct that they were new money.

[@lisakilmer2667]

You hit on the crux of the defense of Mrs. Bennet when you said she faces "an existential crisis." She is trying, single-handedly since Mr. Bennet refuses to make any effort, to provide for the girls' security. She seems like a fool to us because she is driven by emotions, but she is doing the best she can with a very limited tool-box and limited ability to analyze the situation.

[@thatskums]

Lizzy didn't let herself fall in love with Wickham (even before she came to know the truth) because he was not financially secure. She doesn't just care about marriage for love but has a lot of ideas common with her mother.

[@RoisinsReading]

You're right! I hadn't considered that

[@thatskums]

@@RoisinsReading I think Elizabeth regected Darcy's first proposal because she wouldn't be able to live with herself if she married a bad man. A man who ruined his sister's happiness and did wrong by Wickham. When those concerns are resolved through his letter (kind of), she regrets not accepting his proposal. When she visits pemberly, she says that I could be the mistress of pemberly but she doesn't feel guilty just yet because marrying Darcy would mean not seeing her family because Darcy thinks they are inferior. Darcy's interactions with her aunt and uncle and his helping Lydia out resolves that concern as well. But, in all this I have never seen her feelings for Darcy, like ever. She doesn't wanna marry a bad person even if he is rich but she doesn't marry Darcy because she falls in love with him, it is for his wealth. Her judging Charolette seems wrong to me now.

[@telizahenderson9607]

@@thatskums You have just revealed to me why I like Persuasion a little bit more than P&P. Pride and Prejudice definitely follows through with satirical soap opera (Regency England version) but I am a sucker for true romance.

[@fatemah4444]

@@thatskums Your opinion is enlightening and I partially agree. Elizabeth and Colnel Fitzwilliam also dont end up courting because he was a poor 2nd son understandably to both. However Elizabeth doesn't solely care for money (otherwise she would have married Collins to secure fincancial stability) but also does not hasten for love as being the only basis of marriage (why she encourages Wickham and likes him at first but over time grows realistic.) Darcy consequently becomes the suitor that was all encompassing, combining wealth and a good temprament for her.

[@sosumir4896]

Well, also her aunt Gardiner warned Lizzy off Wickham because of his lack of fortune. So I thought it was aunt Gardiner's influence more than her mother's.

[@bowdencable7094]

And Mr Bennett gets off the hook but he’s no better. He checks out and neglects his family, not bothering to develop relationships with those who don’t resemble him. His contempt for others is also vanity, and he doesn’t listen when others are wiser.

[@RoisinsReading]

Very true

[@Julia-lk8jn]

"his contempt for others is also vanity" YES! So much! He's just like the Bingley sisters, only that as a husband his behavior is that much worse. And how clever exactly is a man who picks a pretty, silly wife and then spends his life whining that he has a silly wife? It's book-cleverness, but certainly not wisdome. There's a hugely interesting throw-away line in S&S, where the kind, generous and not at all elegant Mrs Jennings: "oh! I never was a great beauty, but I got a good husband, and I don't know what the greatest beauty can do more". At first glance that doesn't suit our (officially?) enlightened views, but honestly: as far as search for a partner goes, I doubt that it has changed all that much.

[@einahsirro1488]

In particular, his attitude toward Lydia going to Brighton shows this neglect. He knows she's going to screw up somehow, but...? Oh well. I think when Lizzie says at the end that Mr Darcy is truly the best man she's ever known, it's a gentle reproof of him, because that includes him.

[@coloraturaElise]

When Lizzie says she dates her falling in love with Darcy beginning when she saw Pemberly, she is clearly teasing. If she were mercenary, she would have married Collins and secured the family home.

[@RoisinsReading]

I know she's joking, I was also joking a little, but all the best jokes have a hint of truth in them and she did fall in love with Pemberly first

[@aislingyngaio]

@@RoisinsReading Well I think it wasn't so much the estate as the servant Mrs Reynolds' praise of Darcy and her accidental confirmation of the general disapprobation of Wickham (which confirmed Darcy's letter's account), and let's not forget it was also the same day she reunited with a Mr Darcy whom "she had liked him better when they met in Kent than before, and that she had never seen him so pleasant as this morning."

[@heathergroves1176]

I always felt that while Lizzy was joking when she said that, seeing how well Darcy took care of his lands/tenants as compared to her indolent father did help push her along the road to admiring Darcy...

[@coloraturaElise]

@@heathergroves1176 Yes, his stewardship of the property showed his true character.

[@ellie698]

@@aislingyngaio I was just about to make this point! But noticed you said it first. It's definitely the case that hearing the first hand account of someone that knew Darcy from a completely different perspective was the thing that opened Lizzy's eyes to the real Darcy. And that's when she fell in love with him.

[@janetkizer5956]

Also Mrs. Bennet arranges for Jane and Bingley to be alone long enough to get engaged. 😊

[@RoisinsReading]

That's true!

[@lucie4185]

In her super unsubtle way 😆

[@alyssapinon9670]

we do have to thank her for launching one of the cutest ships ever

[@Pippa87]

@@lucie4185 “Mama. Why are you winking at me?” Never fails to send me rolling

[@GreasyBaconMan]

Or sends Jane to Netherfield before it rains, which in turn helped Darcy to fall more in love with Elizabeth when Elizabeth comes to call.

[@mffmoniz2948]

Poor Mrs. Bennet. Mr. Bennet took no interest in educating and protecting his daughters. She did what she could. The two older girls were sent regularly to the Gardiners and later it continued to be only them. The three younger ones didn't benifit from the same luck. Let's not forget the Gardiners also had a large number of kids. Maybe no room for 5 girls. So they just continued receiving the two olders. Mr. Bennet takes little active part in improving the girls. He prefers to escape away and mock his wife. Mrs. Bennet knew what needed to be done, she lacked the finess. A revised opinion: Mrs Bennet is not as bad as we usually paint her. Mr Bennet is not a saint nor the bad guy. Both parents had personality faults that worsened the situation. They did what they could according to their limitations. For Mrs Bennet her manners and intellect. She wanted her girls to marry well and in her experience that was looking pretty and dancing. For the rest she was little help. For Mr Bennet I'd say it's his desire for peace and quiet. His energy and patience where a worse enemy than his purse. He paid for what he should as a good father and he didn't spend the money away. He wasn't involved as per the costume at the time. But here is the bigger problem. The girls needed more than just learning how to read and dance. He could see this where his wife could not. Maybe he assumed that it didn't matter. After all his wife married even being a very silly woman. As for the Gardiners, they probably taught the girls a lot more about proper behaviour and good manners simply by example than they ever learned at home. That is the true advantage that they received from their visits to the Gardiners. Piano and reading they could learn at home. The Gardiners influence is very obvious once they are introduced. Even Darcy enjoys their society. Lizzie says that who wished to learn never lacked the means. She and Jane wished to. And they learned not just party tricks but overall good manners. And there is a point when we must stop saying "the parents this, the parents that" because children grow up and make their own decisions. Lydia made her own bed. If not for Mr. Darcy she would be beyond salvation and the entire family as well per association. In the end Mrs Bennet only cared for the "married" stamp regarding Lydia but considering the alternative... YES! Married is a win! For the times it was the only possible good outcome of her very bad decision.

[@RoisinsReading]

You're right! I forgot about the Gardiner's

[@mffmoniz2948]

@@RoisinsReading The Gardiners influence is very obvious once they are introduced. Even Darcy enjoys their society. Compare that with Mr. Bennet who will only ever be tolerated and indulged on behalf of his daughters. Mary shows some signs of earlier attemps at education. They really gave up with the last two. I find Mr. Bennet more at fault than Mrs. Bennet. He knew his wife could not give his daughters a refined education but it was too much of a bother. And the Gardiners did a good job with Jane and Lizzy. Enough for him. And never bothering to set aside savings... 5 girls!!! What would have become of them?

[@ellie698]

@@mffmoniz2948 Their future would have been awful if not for Bingley and Darcy wouldn't it. 😕

[@ElizabethJones-pv3sj]

I'd say the Gardiners liked having Jane and Lizzy around because there was enough of an age gap between these two nieces and their own children that they were actually helpful. Mary, Kitty & Lydia were too close in age to the Gardiner's children to be much more than another child to look after instead of an actual help so it made sense to keep inviting Jane & Lizzy who were helpful to the household and had built up a good relationship with the Gardiner children. I don't think the Gardiner's invitations were pure philanthropy but a sort of reciprocal benefit (at least to Jane & Lizzy).

[@ElizabethJones-pv3sj]

@4Freedom4All I think Mr Bennet gets off lightly because we see everything filtered through Lizzy's eyes and her love for her father and embarrassment over her mother makes her an unfair judge. It takes a second more critical reading to see that although Mrs Bennet is embarrassing and often tactless she deeply loves and is fiercely loyal to her daughters and is trying her best within her limited means (with virtually no support). I wouldn't agree with your analysis of Mary, she seems to resent having to go our in company, although its impossible to diagnose a 200 year old fictional character given her dislike of social engagements ('I should infinitely prefer a book') inability to read social cues (e.g. at the Netherfield Ball she didn't understand the difference between a formally polite indication that she could continue and a genuinely meant request to continue) if I met someone like that today I'd start thinking they might be on the autism spectrum. Kitty loves going out to balls etc. so going to visit her rich sisters and meeting a host of new people, dancing, flirting etc. is a reward for her. Mary is left at home but Mrs Bennet doesn't want to give up going to parties so Mary is dragged along. Within the local Meryton social sphere of mostly people she already knows and only a few unfamiliar faces she can cope much better than if she visited Pemberley. Without her prettier, more charismatic sisters overshadowing her she can come out of her shell a little more. At Pemberley assuming Mary could get over her dislike of going out and dealing with strangers I don't think having Lizzy there would help. Even though Lizzy is now taken and not available for courting the comparison between the two sisters, one witty, vivacious and pretty, the other frumpy and socially awkward would not help Mary appear in a positive light.

[@mariammosashvili4150]

When I read the book I had a soft spot for Mrs Bennet. She works for her girls, she clearly loves her, she may not be the smartest, but she is very honest and she wants to spare a world of poverty and strugle to her daughters.

[@deathbatgirlxxx]

I still think Mary would have been the most compatible partner for Mr. Collins. I could never understand why Mrs. Bennet didn't encourage him to pursue her instead of Lizzie, surely she knows her daughter is too headstrong to go along with a marriage of convenience.

[@Rebecca_English]

But Mr. Collins ignored Mary entirely! Jane and Lizzie both attracted him because they were pretty, and Kitty and Lydia earned his disapprobation because they were young and silly. Poor, average Mary just faded into the background. She didn't have a chance with Mr. Collins, because he wanted the status of marrying a remarkably pretty girl.

[@Rebecca_English]

@4Freedom4All I think it's a little more than just her looks. I think it's more that Mary is terribly awkward too. She tries so hard to fit in and compete with her sisters, but she doesn't understand that she just comes across as artificial and annoying. She just isn't that enjoyable to be around.

[@RockinTheBassGuitar]

I've always thought that Mrs Bennet had more sense but less class. She didn't deserve all the ridicule, only some of it lol.

[@RoisinsReading]

Haha Austen definitely uses her as comedy, but it's not as straightforward as just that!

[@janewright315]

Great video. Her major "crime", in large part, was saying the quiet part out loud. Interesting- and dare I say symbolic- that what disgusted other characters so was in fact in many ways the true face of the societal system

[@RoisinsReading]

Yes exactly, class is all about pretending there is no class system in public and then telling the woman you're proposing to that obviously she's beneath you

[@EH23831]

Yes, and the Bingly sisters’ antipathy to the Bennetts stems largely from their own insecurity at being “new money “ themselves- “from the North of England” was code for new industrial money.

[@EH23831]

@4Freedom4All yes, I know where Derbyshire is... I know they are both from the north- but “north of England” still implies industrial north and often meant new money.

[@DrOctaviaCox]

Great video. Mrs Bennet is such an interesting character. I think Austen deliberately makes her easy to laugh at - perhaps so that we fall into the same trap as Mr Bennet and 'society' more generally. But - exactly as you say - she's a woman working with what she's got in a society that wasn't very easy for women to thrive in (c.f. Miss Bates in 'Emma' or Mrs Smith in 'Persuasion').

[@RoisinsReading]

Yes, I agree it's deliberate by Austen. Her satire is so well done that we fall into her traps several times before we notice what she's doing

[@mikanchan322]

Interestingly, it's not only female characters - Mr Woodhouse in Emma shows traits similar to these women and requires an equal amount of forbearance from those around him. The difference is that he does have his own fortune and agency and is therefore maybe more respected?

[@ellie698]

@@mikanchan322 It's definitely the case that the richer and more well connected someone is, the more their bad behaviour is overlooked. Isn't that still the case even now...?

[@lucie4185]

@@mikanchan322 also older I think he is probably at least 20 years older than Mrs B which would be a mitigating factor for his being a fretful hypochondriac in an age when a broken bone could mean death.

[@lucie4185]

@4Freedom4All all good points!

[@IAmOmniscient]

This video is so great. I love Pride and Prejudice and when I first read the book when I was about 12, I hated Mrs. Bennet and Lydia for all their ridiculous ideas and the way they embarrassed Jane and Elizabeth all the time. The 1995 BBC adaptation (the best one by far) only added to my opinion because I grew up watching that series. However, as I grow older and read the book again and again, I have come to really empathize with both Mrs. Bennet and Lydia and definitely feel like they deserved better than to have Mr. Bennet and Lizzie rolling their eyes at them all the time. Lydia was a child who was a result of her circumstances and Mrs. Bennet tried her best to make sure that her daughters would have a stable future. I now feel sort of upset at Mr. Bennet for completely washing his hands off all responsibility when he had a part to play in both those things. Perhaps Mrs. Bennet overcompensates because her husband is so inclined to escape all his parental responsibilities.

[@HAL-nt6vy]

Further, Mrs. Bennet's genuine happiness for her daughters is endearing. She seems more happy even than the married daughters. And being happy for the success of others shows a generous spirit, not to mention the work she did for the benefit of her daughters. She applied the full force of her limited intellect to the chore.

[@emdavis]

I always felt Mrs. Bennet was so misunderstood! She understood the dangers of her situation and that of her daughters, and your video highlights those reasons so well. (And I LOVE your attention to the different treatment of the different classes... a problem that is still, sadly, so prevalent today. Modern upper classes still get away with so much for which the lower incomes (and certain races) are unfairly and harshly judged.) I admit, for the reasons you mentioned, I have always preferred the Mrs. Bennet portrayed by Brenda Blethyn in the 2005 film. She's a lot less dramatic-much softer and genteel in initial presentation, but still annoyingly calculating and unwisely candid in the actual meaning of her words and actions. It's a subtler performance, but one that allows us to understand her better. I particularly love her candor with Lizzy after she's told Lydia's to be married: MRS BENNET: A daughter, married! LIZZIE: Is that really all you think about? MRS BENNET: When you have five daughters, Lizzie, tell me what else will occupy your thoughts and then perhaps you will understand. Lizzy's pride in only wanting to marry for love is actually quite naive and impractical, and Mrs. Bennet's remark in the 2005 film brings that to light. In the end, by marrying extremely well, Lizzy may never fully understand just how truly fortunate she is. Her situation is the ideal, but certainly not the norm.

[@GreasyBaconMan]

I think of any character, that bothered me most, is the very indifferent Mr Bennet! He enjoyed mocking his wife, never truly trying to understand the dire situation of a potential impoverished future his daughters would have lived.

[@vadalia3860]

There's that meme going around about "things that are considered tacky when poor people do it but okay when rich people do it" and it seems like Mrs. Bennett is trying to be her daughters' hype man but due to coming from the merchant class is falling on the "poor people" side of the equation to "polite society."

[@jmarie9997]

Lady Catherine was as vulgar as Mrs Bennet, but she's rich and titled. I like to think Darcy was as embarrassed by her as Lizzie was by her parents.

[@jenniferwang817]

In the scene where Mrs Bennet says, "thank the gentlemen, Jane" and Lizzy whispers, "Mama...!" I also interpreted that to mean Lizzy was embarrassed and scolding her mum for being too forward. But the more times I watch P&P, the more it seems like Lizzy is actually hinting to Mrs Bennet to take advantage of the moment and introduce her to Mr Darcy, which she immediately does.

[@NC-ij9rb]

It’s important to note that Mrs. Bennett is only in her forties by the time of the novel. But movies portray her as near her sixties

[@RoisinsReading]

Alison Steadman is 48 in the adaptation I use in this video, so not too far off! I think all the lace plus the fact they were not wearing any make up, which we're not used to in film & TV, makes her look older than she is.

[@swymaj02]

The scene of her shouting at her table for Mr. Bingley and Darcy to hear is funny in hindsight.

[@eirrenia]

Agree with you one hundred percent, but there is one additional aspect that I think is often missed. While Lizzie grows up a great deal during the course of novel, and is way more mature than her younger siblings, in the beginning she is still somewhat immature. And she reacts like a typical young adult “humiliated” by her embarrassing family. Given that she is the viewpoint character we understand the situation through the lens of her reactions. If you look at the reactions of those around Mrs. Bennet you realize that those in her community are not condemning her. They may or may not find her a little clumsy or loud, but evidently not unforgivably so, because she hasn’t been socially ostracized or even reprimanded. It’s only her social superiors and her children that are cringing. Yes, the financial dangers the Bennets face are quite real, but it isn’t until after Charlotte’s engagement to Mr. Collins that Lizzie seems to start considering them seriously, and it isn’t until Darcy’s letter that she really wakes up. Lizzie’s earlier judgement, while not baseless, is exaggerated by pure teenage cringe.

[@zetizahara]

You make very good points about Mrs Bennett’s motives and goals, but I believe the point of the book emphasizing her bad behaviour or lack of propriety is that these are likely to undercut her efforts and harm her daughters by putting off people of the very set the girls needed to marry into. I don’t believe the book is insensible to Mr Bennett’s poor behaviour and neglect of his family, either. Bad parenting was a common theme throughout Austen’s novels.

[@jogibson9394]

Yes - of the parents of the heroines in each novel, none are portrayed as positively as, for example, the Gardiners. (Though Jo Baker's 'Longbourn' has something to say about Mr +Mrs G cheerfully offloading all their young kids on the Bennet household whilst going off on their jolly to Derbyshire for weeks on end.) The Price and Bertram parents in Mansfield Park, along with Sir Walter Elliot in Persuasion, are probably the worst; Mr Woodhouse in Emma may be lovable but really stifles Emma and her sister; Mrs Dashwood senior is likeable but not really very practical, relying on her daughter Elinor's good sense. Only Catherine Morland's parents in Northanger Abbey come anywhere near close to being decent parents, but we don't see an awful lot of them as Catherine is away from home for almost the whole novel.

[@malindaallen718]

Things hadn't changed much in 1970. If I had married well, my widowed mother and my younger sister would have been better off. Women's career opportunities and incomes at that time still were much less than men's.

[@RoisinsReading]

Yes and women who choose to stay at home loose out in terms of career and pension which can still lead to poverty in old age

[@Anmapafi]

There’s a moment in the 2005 adaptation that I think highlights these points REALLY well. When Lydia runs away and she’s in her bed with the rest of the sisters attending her she isn’t just puting on a melodramatic show, she is full on having an anxiety attack. Right after she gets the news Lydia is married and she immediately jumps up and starts getting ready and making plans, Lizzie stops her with “is that really all you care about?” And she stops, turns to face her and tells her “when you have 5 daughters lizzie tell me what else occupies your thoughts. Then perhaps you will understand”. Those two moments made me understand her situation so much more.

[@SpottedTiger89]

Totally unrelated, but your dress matches the book. So cool! I've come to see Mrs. Bennett is a product of her time. She fought hard for the survival of her daughters. Back then, survival meant marrying off well. I actually resented Mr. Bennett a bit for not being more realistic with his daughters.

[@RoisinsReading]

Thank you! Yes Mr Bennet seems totally checked out to me!

[@kimharding6461]

As I’ve gotten older, I am so much more sympathetic to Mrs Bennet and especially Lydia. I read it so differently as a mother and adult then I did as a teenager. It actually makes me love the book more as through my increased knowledge and maturity, it makes me re evaluate my original impressions of the text.

[@RoisinsReading]

Yes there are many layers to Austen's work, that's what makes her so good to reread

[@briteddy9759]

Mr. Bennet may be presented as the better of the two in the Bennett’s marriage, but he is nothing short of a neglectful father and husband and a bully! The only way he could be worse would be if he was physically abusive also. He has already mastered the emotional abuse of his wife and younger daughters. We see this in his constant teasing of his wife and in his attitude and perception of Mary, Kitty, and Lydia.

[@helene4397]

In those times children getting hit by the father would not have been unusual.

[@songbanana8]

I agree, I think Mrs Bennett is one of the many characters whom you must re-examine after your first impression. Like Lizzie, she seems ridiculous and over the top, but actually she is right, she is active, and she is effective. Mr Bennet seems like a kindly old eccentric but he is aloof and selfish and a poor father. Lydia seems like a spoiled flirt but actually she has been neglected by everyone and achieves the version of success she has been taught to value. Even Lizzie herself claims to be so clever and perceptive and she misreads everyone around her, and as a result we do too. That is why Pride and Prejudice is such a great book!

[@claudiabowman6950]

This was delightful. My feelings about Mrs Bennett have changed a great deal since I first read the book in my teens. Now that I'm in my 40s, which presumably Mrs Bennett is as well, it's easy to see how and why the marriage game must have consumed her day and night. 'When you have five daughters, Lizzie, tell me what else will occupy your thoughts' indeed.

[@merrittstults8213]

THANK U I'VE BEEN SAYING THIS!!! yeah she's kind of silly but I would be a lot worse if I had 6 kids that were dependent on making a good marriage in order to not die in poverty ON TOP of having an absentee husband

[@katiehamilton3915]

I still love to laugh at her character, but these are all extremely valid and in-depth points and a great explanation

[@RoisinsReading]

Thank you!

[@EH23831]

I feel that readers of that time would have understood her completely- and though funny, she was justified and correct in her responses on behalf of her daughters.

[@janinepenner1360]

I recently heard this time period and method of match making described as essentially a series of job interviews - which puts a new spin on Mrs. Bennett's behavior! Personal networks and who you know play part of successful career moves, and corporate maneuvering comes with it's own subtle vocabulary and can sometimes feel like a big game. Mrs. Bennett, with her "mean understanding" and "little information" ends up in a situation where she knows the realities, and that who you know is half the battle, but isn't good at playing "the game" due to lack of subtlety and discretion. As a job seeker myself, I do feel for her somehow, despite the silliness (though I can't say I recommend her methods!).

[@gemnet7604]

Tbh if I was any character from Pride and Prejudice I’d be Mrs. Bennet. As I grow older I understand her character more and I understand the whole financially secure bit.

[@lea4834]

Thank you very much for your entertaining, well articulated video :) I think the miniseries does paint Mrs. Bennet as a character to roll your eyes at but I think it also shows that Mr. Bennet is in fact NOT a good husband or father. The book is even more explicit about that. After Mr. Bennet dismisses Elizabeth's concerns regarding Lydia going to Brighton it says: "Elizabeth however had never been blind to the impropriety of her father's behaviour as a husband. She had always seen it with pain; but respecting his abilities, and grateful for his affectionate treatment of herself, she endeavoured to forget what she could not overlook, and banish from her thoughts that continual breach of conjugal obligation and decorum which, in exposing his wife to the contempt of her own children, was so highly reprehensible. But she had never felt so strongly the disadvantages which must attend the children of so unsuitable a marriage, nor ever been so aware of the evils arising from so ill-judged a direction of talents, talents which rightly used might at least have preserved the respectability of his daughters (...)"

[@ArnellaHobler]

Mrs Bennet is delightful! She's always been one of my favourites. I find it strange how so many people nowadays judge these characters from a modern perspective and framework. You really have to switch off that way of thinking and take them for what they are, in the context that they were meant to represent. 😊 Really enjoyed the video!

[@lorenarodgers7545]

Love it! I have recently been thinking, maybe Mrs. Bennet had anxiety. The more I delve into this, the less I like Mr. Bennet. LOL.

[@malindaallen718]

Mr. Bennett is clever, but he is not kind or wise.

[@RoisinsReading]

She may well have had if looked at in a modern context.

[@reikun86]

I like to think the Bennets were more agreeable to each other after the second or even third child. I think after the fourth of fifth, Mrs. Bennett was resigned to the fact that all their children are daughters, and that desperation of securing a future for them haunted her throughout the book. Mr. Bennet also resigned himself to the fact that he had daughters, but felt like he really couldn’t bestow upon them any real skill set to help them in the pursuit of marriage.

[@GreasyBaconMan]

@@malindaallen718 He was clever or was he just a bully, made possible by spending all day in the library reading, which gave him an advantage, rather than being an active parent and supportive husband. I can say, Mr Bennet’s indifference as a parent was result to his own detriment.

[@saffronjay3903]

The older I get the more I can relate to Mrs Bennett.

[@stillhuntre55]

I've always empathized with Mrs Bennet, and never understood all the grief she gets from fans. Thank you for this terrific video! You are point! People have to wake up to the realities of the time and the fact she knew what was what and was genuinely worried sick for her daughters.

[@RoisinsReading]

Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed the video!

[@leticia8202]

I empathise with her doing her best for securing the daughters future in an age where women had less rights and often didn't have financial independence. I also think that around 90% of her "flaws" either are not flaws per se or, even if they are, are exaggerated and judged in a more harsh way than they would if she wasn't a woman. I still don't like her very much because she is not very respectful of other's boundaries. She is often overbearing and insensitive about her daughters' feelings. I don't condone parents being insensitive and overbearing. No matter if "they wanted the best for their children". No matter if "it was another age, people knew less about children's psychology" (and yet strangely enough people understood psychology well enough to know that the treatment they give to children is rude if done to a peer???). That being said, Mr. Bennett is not a Saint. He is not cool, nor fun at all. He is deliberately disrespectful to his wife, under the guise of "joking". He speaks ill of a person HE chose to marry, very disrespectful! He calls his children stupid, not a proper fatherly behaviour. He is sexist also, because he tells all girls are stupid. He conducts a lazy lifestyle, neglecting his duties as parent, and yet dares to criticise his wife for doing something, instead of being grateful she tries to pick up the slack.

[@Julia-lk8jn]

@4Freedom4All I doubt it. She's much more self-reflecting than her mother and is clearly capable of knowing and being ashamed of her own mistakes. Yes, she might just find herself saying "will nobody think of my poor nerves" and then be utterly shocked about it. But she is not her mother, and Darcy is definitely not Mr Bennet. I'm not seeing Mr Bennet sitting down and writing a letter to any of his daughters, unless there's something he wants.

[@Julia-lk8jn]

I think the Bennet parents are a mixed bag. Even Lizzy admits that her father is flawed, and his last actions - saying himself that he'll probably get over his justified feeling of guilt quicker than he should, and the proceeding to punish his daughter Kitty for Lydia's faults and his own neglect ... and then tops it off with being quite happy to have Darcy pay the bill for it all. Mrs Bennet isn't a saint, either. That she's a hobby-hypochondriac is the least of it (given the stress she's under, it's hardly surprising), but she's so narrow-minded and brash that she's more likely to chase away an elligable man than anything else. It's really strange: Jane Austen usually isn't one to whip her characters, even the unpleasant once, but next to Mrs Norris, Mrs Bennet is really the one that seems to get the least mercy from her creator. (And it's more justified in Mrs Norris who might just be the most self-serving and hurtful character in JA's work.) I wonder whether there was a real life template for Mrs Bennet which grated on Jane Austen for a few years too many.

[@jules2291]

She was . I mean she only wanted best for her daughters - hence letting Kitty and Lydia join society early , pushing Jane towards Bingley and Lizzy towards Collins , etc . Because she knew that her family would lose their fortune after her husband died and the girls would end up becoming governess or something and marry the first man who would take them . And she may also have had stress induced anxiety from raising five daughters and worrying about the estate.

[@tammiesspark]

This is the first video I've come across to discover someone else thought the same as I do, that Mrs Bennett is the true protagonist with the happiest ending. I just love her so much the thought of her always makes me smile. There's nothing better than an energetic, obnoxious, opinionated, protective, embarrassing mother. They are the best.

[@ekemp9216]

I grew up watching Pride and Prejudice more times than I could count, but I've never thought of Mrs. Bennett in this light before. It explains her so much!

[@msinvincible2000]

I've always disliked Mr Bennet and Elizabeth. They are very proud of their intelligence and wit, and look down upon everyone else. Although she loves them, you can feel how she can be quite condescending with Jane and Charlotte! Mr Bennet and Elizabeth are not only proud, but also cruel in their wit, with their thoughts and their treatment of the other members of their family. The way they make fun of everyone, considering them as stupid, has always grated on my nerves. I feel sorry for Mary, for Kitty, and even for Lydia, who would not have been shackled with Wickham if only her father had taken an interest in her. But most of all, I'm sorry for Mrs Bennet: can you imagine the stress she lived under? PS: I must say, that Jennifer Ehle makes Lizzy much nicer and bearable than the book Lizzy, or any other actress who played the role.

[@jmarie9997]

I feel for Mary. Plain and introverted in a family of sisters who are all prettier, more outgoing, and (in Lizzie's case) witty. Her parents are awful to her and she barely registers as a person to her sisters.

[@user-un3po3jb4l]

Loved the video! I was saying to my Mum - with whom we watch such films - that it's unfair that Mr Bennet rolls his eyes at Mrs Bennet's antics. He must have fancied her if he married her and had 5 daughters. It's all so easy for a man to be dignified and leave that hard tasks to the wife then be shocked at her public behaviour. Also, I noticed myself that Lizzie fell in love with Mr Darcy when she saw the beautiful grounds of Pemberly. All very interesting indeed!

[@pianogirl440]

Great video

[@RoisinsReading]

Thank you! I agree she is ridiculous but I think that's part of the game Austen is playing with first impressions throughout P&P

[@ellie698]

@@RoisinsReading Ah... Good point!

[@lindavernon8051]

I love when you said that Mr. Bennet is a semi-professional troll when it comes to Mrs. Bennet! Excellent observations! Loved it!

[@sydneytalks4254]

I can totally understand where Mrs. Bennet is coming from. But the actress who plays her in the tv show does *so well* at being over the top and ridiculous that she really is the reason I can’t watch that version more than once every few years 😂 honestly, a true compliment to her haha Also, we have the same bed frame! Glad you popped up recommended, great vid!

[@RoisinsReading]

Alison Steadman is excellent! Haha Ikea's finest

[@grandcarriage1]

@@RoisinsReading I have to admit, her's was the portrayal I liked least. I thought it too over the top.

[@lucie4185]

I am always surprised when I see her acting in other things that she is the same person. Truly a great actor to be that convincing. I remember being completely blown away by how gorgeous she was when they accepted the Bafta Award.

[@josabby474]

I think that Lady Catherine De Bourgh had much worse manners than Mrs. Bennet, but got away with it because she had a title and people kissed her butt. She was also probably pretty lonely and people in her own class didn’t want to socialize with her. Mr. Bennet just didn’t seem to like confrontation and never disciplined Lydia the way he should have and didn’t listen to Lizzie’s warning about Lydia going off with the militia.

[@glendodds3824]

Yes, Lady Catherine's manners were appalling. She was an arrogant earl's daughter but some other aristocrats would have behaved differently. For example, my father was a jockey and came into contact with members of the aristocracy and most of them were polite and friendly. For instance, Lady Elizabeth Ramsay was the daughter of the 16th Earl of Dalhousie but was very down-to-earth and liked people to call her Liz.

[@koalaeucalyptus]

I've always acknowledged Mrs Bennet as a product of her society. But it is really a testament to the quality of Austen's writing that we still manage to find her so comical and relatively unlikeable - as we are reading a book written from Lizzie's perspective, a young woman who prides herself in wits and feels embarrassed by her mother, not wanting to recognize their alikeness in thinking. We fall for it so well when first reading the novel, that all turns of fate are a genuine surprise. Reading the whole book with the hindsight of knowing what they will be truly gives new meaning to the situations portrayed throughout the story. Truly amazing writing.

[@f.k.e.parsons2113]

Very well done. I agree completely, and I firmly believe that Jane Austen meant us to see the contrast in the quality of parenting between the Bennet parents. One had all the respectability, and the other all the appearance of it, to steal a phrase. I actually wrote a term paper with this same thesis in a college course on Jane Austen umpty-decades back. Unfortunately it sank my grade. The professor's only comment was, "So? What's your point?" I can only suppose he wanted me to quote authorities on feminist literature or talk about the British economy, rather than evaluate the parenting of two characters and find a certain irony in their presentation. In any case, you did a much better job than I, and chose perfect clips to illustrate.

[@RoisinsReading]

I had the adventage of using video!

[@yon8378]

I think the best aspect of Mrs. Bennet, which I have not seen commented on, is the fact that she is so effective in attaining her goals, e.g., in her manoevering to get Jane and Bingley together, and being sensible in dealing with Lydia's elopement.

[@MCracknell]

I’ve been avoiding all adaptations and books of Jane Austen for ages, but this really just makes me want to read & watch them all.

[@RoisinsReading]

They're so good! You should read all of them definitely

[@Vexmybeloved_]

I loved this so much! Really great how you pointed all this out- I've always thought she came across more like a worried and desperate mother than an annoying selfish woman. But on the other hand, I don't think that Mr. Bennet didn't do anything for his daughters at all. In the very first few pages of the book we learn that when Mr. Bingley just arrived Mrs. Bennet was pushing her husband to visit as soon as possible, but by the time that she was having the discussion with him he had long visited Mr. Bingley already. I do think he cares, just not at much outwardly as his wife. He cares a little bit more about the personal happiness of his daughters, laying the groundwork (in meeting with Bingley or in sending Lydia off) but not interfering afterwards to let them decide for themselves. (Like when Collins proposes to Lizzie, or when Lydia marries Wickham.) Maybe partly because of the lack of romantic affection within his own marriage, he is more adamant that his daughters marry a man that they actually like. I think Mr and Mrs Bennet are both wonderful parents, and I'm sure it broke their hearts that the entailment laid on by Mr. Bennets ancestors was so unfortunate for their family! And once again, I really really loved your video 🥺💕

[@RoisinsReading]

Interesting perspective. Although his willingness to send Lydia off to Brighton despite Lizzie warning him of the danger suggests to me a lack of concern and a condescension. Austen also takes pains to point out that he could have secured more money for them, but he just assumed he'd get a son.

[@Vexmybeloved_]

@@RoisinsReading haha totally agree! You can obviously see that they tried a lot of times to have son before finally giving up lol. But yeah, I really love getting into the characters like that. Austen has a way of writing that humanises a lot of the characters, so the fun thing is that different people will see different motives and personalities in the characters, which makes it so fun to discuss with others and see how others view their motives and actions haha. I love Austen so much ksksk

[@ellie698]

@@Vexmybeloved_ It's the mark of a great writer that there is enough in there to make every character well rounded enough, not completely black and white, that we can still discuss them centuries later and find new perspectives from each other! Austen's work certainly stands the test of time. ❤️

[@alyssapinon9670]

Awww I never thought of it that way. They really were trying their best to give their children happiness. Even if their definitions of happiness differed and the ways they went about it were questionable 😂

[@andel9302]

@@RoisinsReading This! I don’t have the book in front of me (just moved!) but there’s the statement to the effect that by the time they realized there would be no son it was too late for economy and that’s just not true. As the husband Mr. Bennet had all the power; he could have enforced economy and saving but it would have meant a lot of whining from his wife. Easier to throw up his hands and hide in the library.

[@azurastar3223]

I originally read this book in high school, but now, as the mother of a wonderful preteen I find myself viewing books and movies in a different light the older I get. The last time I watched my copy of one of the many Pride and Prejudice movies I began to relate more and more with both Mrs Bennet and Lady Catherine. Both are women who have their children's best interests at heart who are seen in a negative light. In Lady Catherine's case Mr Darcy could be seen as a good match for her daughter because she could be sure he isn't a gold digger and as a family member/family friend of a respectable nature he would not take advantage of her ailing daughter. Mrs Bennet is a woman who has seen the negative side of the system and wants the best for her children. She could care less about her own happiness and would see them married to save them a terrible fate. She is a good mother. She cares dearly for her girls and had she been privy to Mr Wickoms horrid history she would have gone to hell and back for Lydia. Of that I have little doubt.

[@lesmortimers4791]

I loved this perspective! P&P has been my favorite book since I was 10. I remember stealing it from my mother‘s bookshelf because I liked the cover. In the last 17 years I read and re-read it a million times and I love how my feelings shifted and I started understanding rather than just reading. Mrs. Bennett used to be insufferable to me as a naggy mother, but now I’ve realized though she may not always have gone about it the right way, she actually really loves and cares for her family and works hard for them in the only way a woman can at that time.

[@kathleenphillips6445]

I know a lot of negative information has recently come out about Charles Dickens but his books do a great job of portraying the plight of women in those days. It was a desperate situation to be unmarried with no financial support and a young widow with children might have to resort to prostitution to feed her children. I can’t imagine how miserable it was and how this sort of thing persisted until the early 20th century!

[@carliecooper5189]

This was amazing. The tea sipping had me cracking up! The points you made are so good! I loved Mr. Bennet because he was so funny, and he understood Lizzy. However, I can see now that in some ways Mrs. Bennet, though silly, was the better parent!

[@RoisinsReading]

Haha thank you, I'm pleased you enjoyed it! I do like Mr Bennet too and she is very silly!

[@SCordova19]

Did anyone ever wonder why Mrs Bennet didn’t push Mary towards Mr. Collins? I feel like Mary’s silliness and that of Mr Collins is very similar and they may have actually been a good match.

[@jmarie9997]

Charlotte nabbed him before she had the chance.

[@Helgatwb]

I've had a theory for a long time that Mrs Bennett suffered from some kind of anxiety and/or panic disorder; brought on or exacerbated by her husband's complete inability to do his duty to her and their children. The idea of one's beloved children being forced into servitude, or worse, dying from starvation is enough to make anyone a little "nervous".

[@Beruthiel45]

Exactly. 👍

[@Pippa87]

Your point about her rejecting Darcy because he was rude to Lizzy made me sit up. I never considered that.

[@RachelScalfani]

I never got why people thought she was dumb, what she said and did made perfect sense to me. Also she is hilarious.

[@deannajones6856]

This is part of what make Jane Austen such a great author - she manages to create characters (even side characters) that are real and that even well over a century later ring true and often look like people we have met.

[@HamnimationStudios]

The silent tea drinking throughout was a lovely touch!😄 And the source of the other video material was a personal favorite. You made excellent points too; thank you for a new perspective on Mrs. Bennet.

[@BionicOffice]

Yes! Thank you this take on the Bennetts. She was the realist and the reality of the time was that Mr Bennett could pop off at any time and all their prospects would change for the worst. In some ways Mr Bennett was like George III who wouldn't arrange marriages for his daughters (barring the eldest , late) bc he enjoyed their company and thus denied them not only husband's and children of their own but even essentially their own adulthood. The Bennett sisters (ie Jane and Lizzie especially) were enjoying perpetual maidenhood at the start of the novel long past the time they, as women of their time and class should have. Mrs Bennett knew just how precarious their futures were and they, leaning on father's class as their identity, laughed at her.

[@bessblackburn]

Loved this vid!! You really made me step back and re-examine Mrs. Bennet.

[@RoisinsReading]

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it

[@InThisEssayIWill...]

You make some very excellent points! my only real addition would be that I get the sense of Mr Bennett refusing to engage with Mrs Bennett's schemes on purpose because he feels that marrying for beauty, as he did, was an error, and would prefer the girls to marry person's suitable to their temperaments and create happy unions as opposed to wealthy ones.. but I'm possibly giving him too much credit

[@jmarie9997]

Definitely too much credit. 😊 He checked out completely. His one positive act was to introduce himself to Bingley. And that was because he knew he'd be nagged. He shrugged off Jane's genuine heartbreak when Bingley left. He waved off Lizzie's fear for Lydia because sending a silly fifteen year old away without a chaperone was easier than having her sulking at home.

[@9401maru]

That's one of the reasons I like the portrayal of Mrs. Bennett on the 2005 adaptation more. She actually comes across more genuine and it kinda resembles my mother too 🤭

[@RoisinsReading]

Haha I won’t tell her you said that!

[@RoisinsReading]

@Captain Mercurian I think the 2005 version emphasises the love story element of the book, and the sweeter notes that are present, while removing some of the satire. The series is more arch and less earnest, more the tone of Austen's writing.

[@petalchild]

@Captain Mercurian Which is why it is not a truthful adaptation of the book at all. P&P is satirical social commentary first, love story second.

[@aislingrvr]

I agree. I preferred Brenda Blethyn's interpretation, although Alison Steadman did a good job too.

[@deborahwatson2730]

Thoroughly enjoyable perspective on Mrs Bennett (who I always secretly liked), despite the more annoying aspects of her character she only wants the best for her daughters and even if she goes about it in a clumsy fashion she does, eventually, achieve her end, which as you point out her husband seems unable to do. I'd love to hear your perspective on other P & P characters.

[@mariajesna]

I have read and re- read Pride and Prejudice multiple times and as i grow older I had started to understand the anxiety of Mrs Bennett. Only once you are married or have the knowledge of society that one can understand her stress. I love this character now.

[@ProsaicFluff]

I wish I could give this video more likes, you've articulated everything so well! I grew up with P&P. My mother was absolutely obsessed with the BBC mini series, she'd watch it a couple of times a year. We've been quoting it ad nauseum for the better part of two decades and even my father has started watching the series with her, though he is no avid reader or Jane Austen fan. I was probably 12 years old when I first read the novel. Besides the linguistic journey it has offered me (English isn't my first language, so reading its translation the first couple of times and then transitioning to the original was quite exciting), the various layers it presents for friendships, family dynamics and social dynamics are wonderful to behold. I feel like I was finally able to fully appreciate Jane Austen's work in my late 20s but who knows, I might yet again be surprised in another decade. Looking forward to it, to be honest. xD

[@RoisinsReading]

Thank you! I'm so glad you liked the video and thank you for sharing your story! I think our appreciation grows and changes with our life experience!

[@ProsaicFluff]

@@RoisinsReading Yes, exactly! And thanks for taking the time to read my ramblings. Finding you channel has really brightened my day, it was an instant subscribe. :)

[@RoisinsReading]

@@ProsaicFluff Thank you!

[@NinjasAK]

You should do more of these Video Essays! I love watching/listening to videos like this!!

[@RoisinsReading]

I have one on Wuthering Heights on my channel if you're interested

[@MsFredWeasley]

This is such a great character study!

[@RoisinsReading]

Thank you!

[@melenatorr]

This is a lovely presentation, and I fully agree with your assessment of Mrs. Bennet (I've thought about it myself). I would say that a more realistic look at the life of a governess is "Agnes Grey", by Charlotte's youngest sister, Anne Bronte.

[@RoisinsReading]

Interesting, I've not read that one so will have to have a look

[@melenatorr]

@@RoisinsReading I hope you do: Anne wrote two novels; "Agnes Grey" actually preceded a couple of important concepts in "Jane Eyre": first person female narration; realistic look at the difficulties of a working woman in the 19th Century; the idea of the heroine being unexceptional in beauty. There's a light, sly, dry humor to Anne's work, too, similar to Jane Austen, so I think you might like Anne very much.

[@Lizard797]

Wow I didn’t even realise there was so much behind mrs Bennett’s character

[@RoisinsReading]

Jane Austen books have so many layers!

[@carlagarrett8584]

I hadn't seen that viewpoint of Mrs Bennet, but boy do I love it! Thank you.

[@RoisinsReading]

Thank you!

[@EH23831]

If you watch the 2005 movie, it’s more clear ☺️

[@LassetersLab]

This is a great take on such a misunderstood character. Her "nervous" disorder is so much more than the annoying behaviors we see. She's more a victim of societal pressures and sexism than actual hypochondria.

[@shallam9327]

Excellent points! I feel she’s been unfairly maligned just because she’s so annoying... Mr Bennet is far worse imo

[@pamorris73]

I LOVE this. I’ve felt this way but this video essay laid it all out in a way I never could. Well done

[@emilyhill3595]

This was really well articulated and I would love you to do more analysis videos of classical books. I am having a bit of a classics phase in lockdown. I just subscribed too!

[@RoisinsReading]

Thank you! I have a Wuthering Heights video planned so hopefully that will fulfill your desires!

[@katebuckfield7736]

I am so glad that someone appreciated Mrs Bennett’s difficult position.

[@Lillith.]

Let's also not forget that mr. Bingley was part of the middle class, so he actually married up as Jane is a gentleman's daughter. That's also why mr. Bennet must introduce himself to mr. Bingley and not the other way around. They had some odd rules.

[@SusanLH]

Agree with everything you've said and thank you for such a well developed argument around Mrs Bennet. One comment only; it wasn't primogeniture that left the Bennet's estate to a male cousin but a specific entail set up to ensure the intent of primogeniture was achieved ie an unbroken estate was left to a single male. Without the entail the estate could have been left to one or more of the Bennet daughters which is not primogeniture in action and the same as happened to Lady Catherine de Burgh and her estate being passed to her daughter. And yes please, more reviews of classics.

[@RoisinsReading]

Interesting, I didn't know that detail. in my research I hadn't come across that nuance. I should have one on Wuthering Heights coming out next week fingers crossed!

[@SusanLH]

@@RoisinsReading Thank you for responding so quickly. The French in 1066 brought primogeniture to England from France where primogeniture went all the way to only men inheriting the throne under Salic law. Primogeniture was the act of passing estates solely to eldest sons intact and effectively disinheriting younger sons; it was considered custom and practice but wasn't an actual law. This was further compounded by the Bennet's being gentry, as opposed to aristocracy. Essentially the Bennet's had the choice of how to divide up an estate however generations back someone had chosen to ensure primogeniture was implemented by entailing the estate to the next male (not just son or grandson but any male) thus disinheriting daughters. The Bennets were relying on a son to break the entail (ie become the estate owner), which would have protected the and his sisters. The instance of Lady Catherine de ?Bourgh and daughter is one where a daughter inherits, not the next available man, thus primogeniture is only in operation in the sense the estate is not broken up. Lady Catherine also makes a specific reference to her husband not believing passing on the estate to be necessary, and the De Burgh's are higher up the societal ladder than the Bennet's . A quick overview of how this works: austenauthors.net/the-19th-century-entailment/

[@jogibson9394]

The idea of only males inheriting still persists of course in the ways that titles are handed on to the oldest son. I recently discovered that when my great-grandfather died without having made a will in 1920, the intestacy laws at the time meant that neither his widow nor his two grown-up daughters ( the younger being my Grandma) could inherit anything at all! His entire estate was inherited by his only surviving son who was then only 17 (two older sons having both been killed in WW1). Thankfully, being a decent person, once he came of age at 21 he made over the estate to his widowed mother, so she did have security in her old age, but only thanks to him. He was a lovely man, my great-uncle (I remember him well), but he could have pulled a 'John Dashwood' and kept everything for himself if he had wanted to!

[@SusanLH]

@@jogibson9394 I know exactly what you mean, and great example of how the principle of money/property/titles not being broken up as well as identifying the practical ways in which women didn't "exist" under the law. It was assumed a noble, loving man/son/someone would be responsible for supporting women. But if they ended up on the streets/the poor house? Plenty of novels (including Didkens' Jarndyce and Jarndyce) showing quite how difficult it was to achieve justice under the law even where you had a case.

[@PoetiqueMs]

Now that I am the mother of a single daughter, I have more compassion for Mrs. Bennet. 😂

[@TheRexbassist]

You did a great job on this. Well done!

[@pamelahofman1785]

I just found this video and want to say thank you, thank you, thank you!! I have thought many of the same things you said here. It has driven me crazy for years when people don't understand that Mrs. Bennet, however, gauche and irritating she may be, has solid reasons for her anxiety about getting her daughters married. Mr. Bennet is funny and ironic but he's a lazy, self-centered creature who only likes his two eldest daughters because they are intelligent and don't cause him irritation. What's really telling is the part where he is talking to Elizabeth about his failure to protect Lydia by allowing her to go to Brighton. He says he deserves to feel bad, especially since he knows the feeling will go away quickly. He knows himself and that he won't suffer very long over his poor decisions. It's like he knows he's irresponsible but has no plans nor desire to change. In fact, once he is informed that Lydia and Wickham have gotten married, instead of feeling any relief that the reputation of the family as a whole, a very serious thing, will remain mostly intact, thereby not condemning the other girls to a bleak future, the only thing he cares about is that he may owe his brother-in-law a lot of money. Even though Elizabeth is a wonderful heroine, her respect for her father is probably misplaced and her lack of care over her mother's anxiety for the girls to find husbands shows a lack of foresight and true understanding of a potentially catastrophic future.

[@laurareadspages6633]

This was so much fun! I love learning about regency England- it was such a different world! It’s funny, I was just thinking about Amy before you mentioned her. I loved what they did with her character in the most recent adaptation!

[@RoisinsReading]

Yes I did too, although I wish they'd got a younger actress to play you g Amy as she looked as old as the others and stropped like a child so it seemed wrong

[@ishita8732]

loved this! i’m actually writing an essay on pride and prejudice soon so this is helpful for me in coming up with my thesis!

[@RoisinsReading]

Thank you! I'm glad you found it useful and good luck with your essay!

[@BeatrixOnyx]

I loved the video essay. Please make more! 😊

[@RoisinsReading]

Thank you, although it's not been very popular!

[@RoisinsReading]

@Dexy Nash yes it has really grown over the past week. I'm working on a Wuthering Heights video which should be out on Friday!

[@ellie698]

@@RoisinsReading Excellent!!!

[@chriscarson7384]

You have given me a new appreciation of Mrs. Bennett! I do have an idea for a future video: I have always wondered who helped Jane and Elizabeth grow up to have good sense, be well-mannered, etc.? They stand apart from their sisters, as Darcy points out in his letter to Elizabeth. They could not have relied on once- or twice-yearly visits with the Gardeners to imbue them with sense and information.

[@val99star]

Clever take on Mrs. Bennet. Thank you for expounding on the virtues of a character that is so often ridiculed.

[@rebeccawalsh1462]

In the last 10 years I have gone back to reading Jane Austen yearly. When I was a teenager I read her obsessively. However I mis read her. As a teenager I thought her the most romantic novelist ever.... For me now she is such a source writer. I get something new each time I re read her. She is such a sublime writer. She will be still read in another 100 years.

[@taesthetic7289]

i have seen the 2005 adaptation (and i’m completely and perfectly and incandescently obsessed with it), there’s a scene in which lizzie is sort of criticising her mother for always thinking about marriage and then her mother goes like ‘when you have 5 daughters tell me what else would occupy your thoughts’, that was when i realised that mrs bennet is justified in its own way

[@lynnedean8674]

The first of many dozens of times I watched the ‘95 version, I was so exasperated watching any scenes with Mrs. Bennet. She drove me crazy. Then a strange thing happened. I started appreciating and laughing at her amazing performance and she became one of my favorite characters. She wanted the best for her daughters despite not having the wit to accomplish it in a genteel manor. The reverse is true of Mr. Bennet. My enjoyment of his humorous barbs morphed in to a complete distain for his lazy and irresponsible behavior as the head of a family who depended on him for their current social standing and future security. He failed them miserably, leaving Jane and Lizzie to save the family from ruin, along of course, with the help of two white heterosexual males! How shocking in today’s totally upside down world!

[@strll3048]

*Applause* You brought fresh and deeper insights to me about Mrs. Bennet. I thought along the same lines but you certainly surpass all analysis of her character that I have come across.

[@RoisinsReading]

Thank you so much!