In Defiance of Logic and Facts - Ep. 92 of Intentionally Blank

Brandon and Dan start with a peculiar food heist before moving on to random google searches, word pronunciation musings, bad story ideas, and finally landing on the varying tastes and uses of humor in literature.
Check out our previous episode of Intentionally Blank
• Is Ted Lasso Ned Fland...
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Can be listened to almost everywhere podcasts can be found.
Sound engineering and editing by Daniel Thompson

[@thedanielhicks]

This episode was witty, intelligent, and made me laugh in a way I haven't in years. The hosts bring a welcoming atmosphere for any listener. 1 star.

[@katelincox5184]

They should have also taken $400,000 worth of butter, salt, and pepper. Because asparagus needs seasoning to make it palatable.

[@GalaxyElfJess]

I hope they have some garlic and parmesan at home because that makes for some excellent asparagus

[@egwenealvereiscool7726]

Op lp​@@GalaxyElfJess

[@marcopegoraro4663]

So... regarding "I hate dragons", this is what my brain came up with while waking up this morning: In their teens, the main character met a very big dragon who, due to power #1 wanted to devour him. The teen managed to convince the dragon not to eat them by hinting that this trait might carry over to their descendants, possibly starting a dinasty of delicious morsels. So now the main character has a very powerful protector that sometimes hints at recipes and ingredients that would pair wonderfully with their delicious smell. Power #2 comes in handy because they can help the dragon with eloquence and proper language, which is a big deal among dragonkind and, as years pass, their relationship develops into a friendship (that maybe they don't even recognize) through their mutual love of language. To spice things up, main character's dragon is big, but nowhere near *the biggest* dragon around, and main character smells so delicious.... How's that, BranDan?

[@godminnette2]

Re Dan's epitome confusion: When I was young, I would confuse the words epitome and antithesis. Which are a bad pair of words to confuse, because they are basically antonyms.

[@rmsgrey]

One a friend mentioned having trouble with is the word they pronounced "mizzled" (rhymes with "grizzled"). It was some time before they discovered it was supposed to be mis-led, not the past participle of a hypothetical verb "to misle"...

[@LostLargeCats]

You really mizzled me.

[@lynnj9721]

I feel like "in Defiance of Logic and Facts" would make a great podcast name.

[@YourDearEnemy]

that's their religious podcast

[@Qwertified108]

That is actually a fantastic name 😂

[@masonwheeler6536]

It's actually pretty rare for state capitals to be the state's biggest city. Utah is one such state, but most states aren't like that, and they're deliberately not like that. It's a balance of power issue, to keep the largest city from having too much influence over state policies to the exclusion of everyone else's local interests.

[@szabel.]

there is an old-ish standup special by Brian Regan called the Epitome of Hyperbole (and pronounced wrong) and it's fitting that the humor matches 😂

[@ptrickthepat]

you beat me to this reference

[@collinharvey2384]

I thought of the same one!

[@evelynparmley6043]

I’m 99.9% sure that Harambe started a chain of catastrophic events that has led the world to where we are now.

[@MichaelCater]

Yeah my 16 year-old self laughed at the asparagus joke. Also, is Dan being super subtle with his fishing for a Coke brand deal? LOL

[@Newhubb]

I have a friend from Idaho and he claimed the Idaho state capital was originally going to be in Lewiston, Idaho, but in the middle of the night it was stolen and moved to Boise. I guess it is a myth that has found it's way into several states.

[@cameton_youtube]

That sword of many powers idea sounds like it could be the basis for a decent isekai slice of life web novel

[@TheEmptyScroll-bi2tl]

You mean Shield Hero?

[@lukesteele4510]

Asperagus is one of my favorite vegies. As a young boy we used to harvest it from canal banks as a special treat since it grew wild, that and getting water cress from nearby mountain streams until those streams became to contaminated. Another treat were black wild black current bushes in the area particularly on the banks of a local river, one of only a few that goes in every cardinal direction during its course.

[@kajmace]

The most powersful sword. Drive your editor insane.

[@zacharyhoskins1184]

White asparagus isn't a different species it's grown under cover (blocking sunlight) to prevent the development of photosynthesis. White asparagus is also milder in flavor. Also Utah is not the largest producer of turkeys. I have heard that and repeated it myself, but Minnesota produces more than ten times the turkeys of Utah. The more you know... Fun fact about trees and asparagus and Utah though. Growing up in Orem there were lots of Orchards and asparagus grew wild. My mom would send us out with a large brown grocery bag to harvest aspargus. I remember seeing it in the grocery store when I was a teenager in Arizona and being surprised that you could buy it in a grocery store.

[@alexeiboukirev8357]

I started reading "Tales of the Otori" from the second book "Grass for his Pillow" and was captivated by the story. Then read the whole series. So, there is no hard rule for getting into the series.

[@lalalaurenlibby]

Now I want to hear Brandon and Dan’s opinion on the His Dark materials show

[@avaya708]

And their thoughts on the books as well.

[@calebmauer1751]

Maybe when South Park writes a sequel to the World of Warcraft episode, the Sword of 1,000 Truths can be defeated by the Sword of 10,000 Powers. Also, I appreciated Brandon's example of Invisible Boy for the difference between a thing in a story and the story itself. This is why he teaches writing.

[@qixartthebondsmith2954]

Is someone gonna tell Brandon that he can just make nightblood have people smell colors?

[@TheEmptyScroll-bi2tl]

What?

[@qixartthebondsmith2954]

@@TheEmptyScroll-bi2tl it made sense 5 months ago

[@paraalso]

Maybe the asparagus thief was already planning their repeat heist on next years harvest, but something unexpected prevented it.

[@aj2563]

As someone who went to college in Omaha, hearing it referred to as a metropolis is quite humorous

[@simmysims2923]

So, for the story idea about the magic sword with 10 million different powers, each of which are extremely niche and mostly silly: what if this sword is the most holy artifact of an entire religion, the central tenet of which is that when all 10 million powers have been discovered, the very last one will either bring about or prevent the apocalypse. So there is this order of monks whose entire purpose is to find and catalogue each power of the sword - they've been at it for 500 years and are just about to reach their first million powers, and have a vast library dedicated to the powers, including detailed theological treatises on individual powers and what they reveal about the nature of the deity who they believe made the sword). The monks think they still have 5000 more years of work, but one of them finds evidence that the number of powers is off by a factor of 10 - so the apocalyse is either 50,000 years away, or will happen later this year.

[@jeremus725]

You guys are absolutely right that festivals centered around some sort of crop is a small town America thing. My town, for example, has a yearly potato festival lol.

[@aparajitgupta]

Dan's take on that review of his book is true. It happened to me with "The Haunting of Hill House" tv show. I was totally invested, then when the reveal happens that the ghost was really just the protagonist sort of travelling through time and becoming her own ghost, I checked out. I was looking for a serious take on how ghosts are a hallucination born of trauma (the show's promise, and how it was recommended to me). So the fact that there was a "REAL" ghost kind of ruined it for me. But now looking back on the show I'm able to appreciate it again. The metaphor totally works (the horror of the girl's suicide echoed all the way back through time to the original traumas that led to it). But when you have a reaction like the one I did (or Dan's reviewer did), it's like you can suddenly see the cameraman in a movie. There's really no way to regain investment at that point. I've found it's best at those moments to put the story down and come back later, which often lets you appreciate the work more.

[@althechicken9597]

The Sword of Many Powers would fit perfectly into whatever Whimsy has as her Magic System 👀

[@drakean8]

Did we ever get any follow-up on the whiskey sphere at the bottom of the lake?

[@satiatedpanda]

This title is amazing. It would work great as a title for a book or a paper. "In defiance of Logic and Reasoning" just rings right off the tongue.

[@tracer8115]

Not a Nebraskan, but “arbor” is the Latin word for tree. Because of this many (if not all) Roman-based languages have a similar-sounding word for tree. So that’s why it’s called arbor day

[@bbh6212]

The Hero's Guide trilogy, by Christopher Healy is a great example of a humorous story. It has a lot of jokes and the characters make bad choices that lead to humorous situations, but the characters also learn and grow so you do get invested. It's definitely aimed towards younger readers, but I'd suggest everyone check it out. The audiobook especially is incredibly funny.

[@roadragemclaren231]

I'll also give a shout-out to Orconomics by J. Zachary Pike. It's fantasy satire and won Mark Lawrence's SPFBO. The audiobook is really good as well

[@dorphalsig]

Here's me starting a campaign to send Brandon a yearly supply of german asparragus.

[@englishandi]

As a Nebraskan whose town has the slogan "home of Arbor Day" on their signs, I will confirm that I heard plenty of Arbor Day themed things going on. And that song "Plant a tree, for your tomorrow/it's your tree that cleans the air" is always on the fringes of my mind.

[@MemphiStig]

Music has the "slap modulation" which is very common in certain types of pop music, where the music is in one key and then the next chord is up a half step and bang! you're in a new key. You've heard it a million times, it's abrupt, and jarring, and makes it more emotionally intense. And it's just as crude as saying "segue" instead of doing. And don't forget the ever-popular "hyper-bole."

[@godminnette2]

Alas, Brandon (hello if you're reading from Hawaii!), only the state seal was smuggled out from Omaha. The real reason is boring geopolitics, including threats of partial succession to Kansas by the then more conservative Democratic party, if the capital didn't move from Omaha, which was dominated by the then more progressive Republican Party. Lincoln was originally named Lancaster, but in an attempt to sink the moving of the capital the Republicans added a stipulation to change the name to Lincoln, but it became the capital anyways.

[@gimrongaming8496]

I feel like funny fiction is so difficult because so much of the delivery of the joke is placed on the shoulders of the reader. In shows and film you can hire professionals to do masterful delivery.

[@robertdullnig3625]

I actually got the idea in the year that I lived there that there was a bigger separation between "nerdy" and mainstream in the UK, similar to how there is distinct "otaku" culture in Japan. British literary types are quick to judge anything too new or different in general.

[@LimegreenSnowstorm]

“I’m not sure fantasy has hit pop culture yet” says the man who’s bringing fantasy back into pop culture

[@Sannna_]

Speaking about stealing things in order to be made the capital: I grew up in a small town near Munich (Germany). What I learned in grade school was this: 900 years ago, Munich and Freising - the small town - had different rulers. Freising was bigger, more beautiful and more important, because it had an important bridge and got lots of taxes from all the merchants who had to use the brigde to cross the river. Then the ruler of Munich sent men to destroy the bridge, and he built a bridge of his own in his princedom in Munich. You could say he 'stole' the bridge. So from now on, Munich got all the taxes and Freising didn't, and that's why today, Freising isn't important any more and Munich is the capital of... well, Bavaria at least. Wikipedia says it's a true story 😄 (And yes, aspargus is a BIG thing around here, too.)

[@Hazelnutmegan]

I think part of the reason comedy works better with theater, movies & TV rather than novels is because comedy works better in social environments & novels are read individually. When others are with you comedy gets better because those around you laugh. It’s the reason shows have laugh tracks, so you’re cued when to laugh. There’s nothing similar that can be enacted in a novel. (Maybe make a book with a laugh track…? Bad story idea…? 😂)

[@Aldric524]

What do you do when you laugh at very different places than most people in movies? :) I hate things that have laugh tracks. That's probably why I avoid certain types of comedy shows.

[@Vardisk]

"The first American Arbor Day was originated by J. Sterling Morton of Nebraska City, Nebraska, at an annual meeting of the Nebraska State board of agriculture held in Lincoln. On April 10, 1872, an estimated one million trees were planted in Nebraska."

[@oditeomnes]

I am one of those people that would give five star only to a legendary book/movie/game that refuses to leave my mind for the rest of my lifetime. 4,5 stars is otherwise perfect for the duration that I am enjoying the medium. For example I love Mistborn series, it en entertained me, made me love many characters and the pacing is overall the most excellent compared to the fan favorite Lightborn series. So it is a 4,5... excellent story, great books! Now if we talk about short stories centered around Randolph Carter written by H.P. Lovecraft have a philosophy that refuses to leave my mind no matter how much time passes. Oh how much I resonate with it being a bit of a dreamer who dislikes this mundane real world. How wishfully believable the phiolosophy and concepts in "Through the Gates of the Silver Key" feel to me. No collection of short stories should have any right to permanently occupy the free real estate of my mind so. Thus it is one of the very few things I can give a 5 to.

[@MisterJackmanB]

I love Plan 9 lol. Such a great old, bad film. My friends and I in college would watch a bad movie every Sunday night. Love to hear that you guys do that too! Neil Breen is fantastic.

[@felishaanglebrandt6268]

We got trees for Arbor day as well!

[@cursethemountain]

I want you to finish I Hate Dragons, or even write like another 2 pages randomly in the middle of the story without any context

[@masonwheeler6536]

If you're familiar with _I Hate Dragons,_ read _Tress of the Emerald Sea_ and check out just how many striking parallels you can find between the two stories...

[@ninakrishnamurthy6674]

So, when I clicked on this, I misread it as "In DEFENSE of Logic and Facts" LOL

[@JasonOrr3]

Sumner, Washington has "Rhubarb Days" in the Summer, and is the self-recognized "Rhubarb Pie Capital of the World". I've been there for the Rhubarb Days, and I have to agree that their rhubarb pies are excellent

[@andrewdubeau9283]

I read "I am not a serial killer" not knowing what I was getting into. I genuinely enjoyed it all the way through, but was definitely thrown off when it went supernatural. I didn't read any of the rest of the series, not being as interested at the time, but have been considering going back. Not sure why I didn't expect it since I went into it right after finishing the partials series.

[@terabyter9000]

And the segway story returns. You guys talked about it in past episodes :)

[@KeithCVI]

The most powerful sword would start with just 1 power. It can gain a copy of all the powers in all other swords. So when another sword with a new power is created or another sword gains a new power, this most powerful sword will copy the power to always stay ahead. A story idea could be that this is a curse of sort so the owner of this sword is going around searching for other swords with power and destroy them to remove the power and eventually break the curse when there is no more other swords with power.

[@Duiker36]

The inversely platonic sword.

[@SunRayz3r]

2:24 it should have been “you’re zooing it all wrong”

[@frankydclc]

My bad movie recommendation is Gentlemen Broncos. A coming of age story about a young science fiction author in rural Utah.

[@monkpato]

These are much too short! Give Brandon more pages!

[@chrisashford3379]

First off, Oklahoma has a similar story about our capital. It was supposed to be in Guthrie, but was stolen. Second, my latest word mess-up is "demesne". I didn't know it was pronounced "domain" until I heard it spoken out loud in a video game.

[@Machtyn]

As far as "Swords that can't do anything," that's sort of like the swords in Inuyasha... until Inuyasha figures out how to really use it.

[@vampirelogan]

"You're Zooing it wrong!" is my favorite new saying!

[@Garrison_Sisk]

I can now see Brandon signing in my nightmares. Send help...

[@markstenquist2315]

Mom and Dad Save the World is amazing. The Light Grenade alone is cinema perfection.

[@RumoHasIt]

Missed opportunity to say "youre zooing it wrong."

[@ioannisstavrianakis1199]

That quick comment, I declare bankruptcy… love that Brandon is an Office fan!

[@P_Rodd]

The Oscar's could have a 10 year legacy award in addition to what they already do.

[@jchinckley]

The Oscars need to go away. They no longer serve as what they were meant for, so I believe it's time for a new award for the movie industry. I think we could use a new award in the written fiction category also. Everything out there right now (in terms of awards) has been overly influenced by current woke culture. Wokeness is evil's attempt to look good and it is beginning to fail miserably.

[@TheMedengineer]

The big word I read and heard differently was "awry". I read it as aw-ree (rhymes with money). Kind of blew my mind it when I read it one day and realized I was reading it wrong.

[@markfisk7124]

I was today years old when I learned the correct spelling/pronunciation of segue. I am an English teacher.

[@cristinakautsky5826]

For me, I often give 4 star ratings when I enjoy the content, and it worked for me, but I think there is something about the writing or story or characters that could have been done better or explored more. I think BOTH of my enjoyment of a story and how well I think it was executed when giving a rating. A five star review from me means I must have thoroughly enjoyed something and believe that it was written to a level where any changes would be equal to or worse than the books current state.

[@Morfeusm]

I supposed to be sleeping but few minutes of this can’t hurt right? 😂

[@ramblingdad7764]

Don't do it. Use the sleep instead

[@Bagel77]

I always listen to it as I fall asleep. Use Spotify or something that just had the audio though

[@JJMB27]

​@@Bagel77 or don't look at the screen?

[@Bagel77]

@@JJMB27 yeah but it still uses more data when you do that and you'll still have to look at the screen to go to the next episode. (Yt plays random videos instead of what's next sometimes so you'd have to cue the video.

[@JJMB27]

@@Bagel77 oh by the time the video ends I am already asleep, and didnt thought people would worry about data in their homes.

[@superiorgo2368]

In Canada we do Franglais.. which is where you mix and match french and english in annoying and confusing ways.

[@billybalmer1571]

Gonna use the sword idea for a Pathfinder campaign.

[@bronwynecg]

Speaking of mispronounced words , I’d never heard the word quinoa spoken out loud for years. At this point it’s gonna be kwhy-no-ah forever. 😜

[@jchinckley]

I thought it was kwin-o-ah until I learned it's correctly pronounced Keen-wa...words in English are so weird and funny sometimes. There's a guy out there making fun of the words we use and how we say them in shorts on KZbin and it is hilarious. I wish I knew his name or his channel's name.

[@liefbread]

My word that I learned from reading and mispronounced forever was melee.

[@mr.gilsdorf]

It’s funny y’all mention Terry Pratchett, it reminds me of another author who wrote SFF & comedy. My coworker at B&N many years ago LOVED Robert Asprin & she recommended him often. It might be worth some readers to check out his works. 😊

[@jchinckley]

He's good, but not quite as good as Terry Pratchett, I'm guessing. I've read some of Robert Asprin's books, but I've only read the first few chapters of one of Pratchett's books. Looks like I need to go back and reread his "myth-understood" books again. And, obviously, I need to read more of Pratchett's Discworld books.

[@georgebush6002]

Segue; you forgot to declare segue. Segue; I too enjoy Robert Asprin.

[@Aldric524]

@@jchinckley I loved Asprin when I was younger. I'm not dogging on others, but when I went back and tried to read some Myth books, I couldn't handle it anymore. Perhaps my sense of humor got amputated after 18.

[@Dekken88]

My favourite funny fantasy is the Waldo Rabbit series from Nelson Chereta. I absolutely love his twisted sense of humour.

[@anewbimproves5622]

Dan: I'm sure you've already come across this, but the combination of "most powerful sword" and "d&d" reminds me of the "100 wands" oneshot.

[@TLBainter]

Reading 1-Star Discworld reviews can be almost half as funny as the novels themselves. Some folks are just wild.

[@Kurodarkness]

I will add about the turkeys, those turkey farms do not smell great and you can smell it from a few towns over.

[@insignificantdamage3446]

White asparragus does actually cost more because of the process needed to cultivate it. The vegetable needs to be completely covered from the sun so it doesn't form chlorophile during photosynthesis.

[@Saturosian]

I'm with Brandon - I didn't understand Segue and Segway until I was in college. I haven't looked this up, but I've heard that the device Segway was named as a pun on the word segue - like, you're physically segueing to a new location, and they spelled it with a 'way' because way is also a word for roads? But that's likely apocryphal.

[@TheOvalOwl]

1st grade I got a tree for Arbor Day. It was cut down by the groundskeepers a week later.

[@samiam.402]

Brian Regan: It's the epitome of hyperbole.

[@joelcarstensen6351]

I vote for Mom and Dad Save the World, I don't think you need to build up to that. It has enough funny moments in it.

[@aryanorman314]

Literally had never seen segue spelled before. Had no idea it was different to Segway.

[@Jane_Doe_8909]

in my case, 5 stars is only for books that are up there with my favorite books ever. if I've loved them, but aren't my "changed my brain chemistry, thoroughly enjoyed it from beginning to end" type of thing, i will give it 4 stars instead of 5

[@lenarwhalrus]

Wait is that why my Utah-raised mother jokes about ~Targét~? It’s a regional thing?

[@itaihudes8674]

I remember when Brandon revealed the segue thing in the first episode

[@jahcode6132]

As someone from Nebraska I have something to say about the origin of Arbor day. I didn't pay attention in history either so I have no idea.

[@ttt5020]

Absolutely with Segway! Always thought it was spelled like that, the transportation device. “Let’s segway to a different topic” such as “Let’s shuttle/jet off to a different topic”- since I’m young enough that the vehicles have always been around, I assumed the phrase was built around them. This changed when I saw ‘segue’, which I pronounced ‘seh-GOO’ until looking it up :)

[@ashmite]

Brandon Predicts the Oscars

[@noraeld5020]

I'm so glad to find a fellow asparagus-hater in Brandon. I have always hated this vegetable. I completely agree that in its best form it is barely tolerable.

[@olleh2399]

arbor day is in commemoration of the time captain Barnacle finally came home after a long voyage. The second r was later removed.

[@markstenquist2315]

I pronounce brocolli like 'e-coli'. Drives my wife crazy, and now my kids say it that way.

[@joyatteberry5694]

Holy crap! Target (with french accents) is TOTALLY a Colorado thing 😂😂😂😂

[@monkpato]

P.G. Wodehouse is the greatest comic writer in the English language but he never wrote fantasy.

[@Machtyn]

I love the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy and all 5 books in the trilogy!

[@galmannmedbart]

Sometimes criminals have a sense of respect or mercy. A friend of a friend of mine told me that they used to blow up mailboxes when they were younger. But, they would always remove the mail and put it in a neighbors mailbox beforehand. So the idea that you want to steal asparagus but not mess up the farm too much out of some kind of respect makes sense from that perspective.

[@Duiker36]

Finesse demonstrates skill.

[@scottgillis7369]

my friends would catch me like this all the time, zealot pronounced zeel-ott, uncouth rhyming with mouth, and don quixote pronounced quicks-oat, I knew of don quixote, would say it properly, but I had never seen it written down at the same time it was being said aloud.

[@Bigandrewm]

An American sci-fi/fantasy/etc. writer whom I've found does comedy really well is Martha Wells. The Murderbot Diaries is great.

[@austinharris6653]

Reincarnated as a sword is a version of the bad story idea

[@defynnietiv]

there are some cool little festivals like the plum festival, onion festival and some other things like that in the more rural places of germany :D enjoyed your little talk about the asparagus heist :D

[@cbpd89]

Plan 9 was pretty much my gateway bad movie. Now I'm in too deep. Watching Santa Meets the Ice Cream Bunny, Rollergator, and A Talking Cat?! for fun. My family may stage an intervention, and I wouldn't blame them.

[@scottdaniels4531]

You're telling me... That Lincoln is the capitol of Nebraska because of a..... Capitol Building heist? That's just too wonderful to handle.

[@One_Bar]

[confused Nightblood sounds]

[@lorihayes507]

I want both those t-shirts!!!

[@AirborneHedgehog]

I'm sorry, I'm completely distracted by the pillow behind Dan's head with the Tenth Doctor and the Tardis on it. Y'all are gonna have to re-record this without that in the shot.

[@FTUD734]

The original capitol building is in Omaha. It is now Central High. There was some hubbub and they moved it to Lincoln