'Intervening arab families'?? Foreign Wives Living in Jordan & Dealing with Common Disagreements

[@cafeespresso99]

You have a really intelligent approach to adapting to life in a new culture.

[@MOHQUR]

أفضل كلام كان بالنهاية لما حكت عن موضوع الجانب المشرق والإيجابي من تدخل العائلة العربية بخصوصياتها ، عن جد رائعة شكراً أم ادهم على هذا الكلام الرائع

[@radwanullahdarwish6557]

You're awesome, although I'm a Jordanian, but I like hearing it from your point of view. All the best

[@ramatiti978]

Your eyes are speaking with you. You are a very nice and inspiring person ❤️ god bless you and your family ❤️🌸

[@e.frances.patterson]

Your videos are so insightful and helpful. I love that you pointed out that many things that may bother us here happen in our home countries too- we just tend to forget and idealize them when we're having a grumpy moment here. That is a great reminder :) Thank you for all your videos. You're terrific.

[@umlayla8434]

I never comment on any KZbin videos at all but i came across your channel and i find you a very lovely person. Oh how i wish to have a friend like that! MashaAllah how you are humble and how well you adjust! I am going to live in Syria for awhile with my Syrian husband and i dread it. I only wish to have an attitude like yours!

[@monzersami1642]

The introduction is so thoughtful and great, no one could say or describe the topic any better... and let's be honest, you have all the right to be so pissed off of intervention coz you're right, the people are judgemental, no, Over judgemental.. but to share a positive thought, many of the family interventions are made for good, no offense meant by them it's just the traditions. Have a great day

[@birgitashour7817]

I like your approach. As an European, I feel you about dress and makeup and wedding. And my husband's family knew that I won't be comfortable, I tried to get middle solution with dress and makeup (I asked no makeup makeup but got the heaviest makeup ever, that even my husband admitted I looked like clown). But what bothered me is that I wasn't comfortable in wedding, I didn't know what is really happening, I tried my best, because I wanted to respect family. And later they were so bothered about me that I didn't fully enjoy it.i think this is hard for European. Because I was thrown in another culture I didn't have enough time to adapt to, and then I was judged because I couldn't be like an Arab bride. I am happy to watch your channel, as finally I see someone with same issues, but because of your positive note it makes me feel better. Especially since I am pressured so hard to move to Jordan, which I really don't wsnt to.

[@DX-d]

Blame only him for not respecting you and allowing his family to disrespect you.

[@Tamtamlara]

I am a Jordanian and I do my makeup as I wish even at my wedding everyone was objectifying how I had no makeup! As if it's their business but I don't listen to them and as a i wish I don't even discuss what I do with them later on, my decesions are not sth to be discussed, I feel girls from outside jordan tend to be more accepting of Jordanians intervening with their lives! Because they wanna 'respect the culture' and that's a huge red flag, our culture is band in that aspect and doesn't celebrate individuality so i tell this to any girl /woman Jordanian or not do as you fucking want and ppl who wanna be butt hurt about it will try to control every aspect of your life, Don't Allow Them to take control period.

[@Tamtamlara]

Also being persuaded into moving to Jordan is a red flag for me! In jordan you won't have a support system even legally okay? They will impose their rules onto you and you will have to accept them because you have no where to go. Stay in Europe for ur own safety

[@JM-971]

I really like your open-mindedness and focusing on the half-full part of the glass 👍👍👍

[@mohamedalzobaidy181]

I am a Jordanian living in Waterloo, Canada. I have watched most of your videos because I love your British accent. I think if you add Arabic subtitles to your videos, the viewers' number will be ten folds than now. Also, take your camera outdoors. Thanks, We love your videos because you have talked frankly and beautifully about Jordan.

[@moom6712]

I totally understand you having lived in the UK for five years. I don't like it now when my family intervenes. You need try to live with the fact that they think that they have the right to intervene to some extent! They think they just inform your decision and provide suggestions. But on the positive side, the reason behind their intervention is caring!

[@MummyinAmman]

Haha we’re in reverse! But yes, totally get what you’re saying as well!

[@zaidobaid3691]

same man, its my 3rd year here as a student in the UK and when I returned home for summer vacation it was really annoying.

[@DX-d]

That's nonsense. She should never allow anyone to intervene in her personal choices. She doesn't have to live with the disrespect. If you have to, go ahead.

[@nashwanalaezy4727]

Thanks so much from Yemen with love♥.

[@alal-fw9tb]

feels so good to not be alone with this feeling

[@luckysweetheartvintage476]

Great video as always, Rachel!

[@MummyinAmman]

Thank you!

[@mohamedamr3811]

The background music is amazing!

[@2livenoob]

From a non-Arab husband's point of view: how common is it for the wife's family to intervene and try to control the husband and his direction?

[@zahedah80]

It goes both ways

[@lujainot5495]

If You are a son in law highly respected and appreciated

[@marv3914]

Interesting insight into your journey and your experience with foreign environment than yours; I'm also quite overwhelmed as to how did you work it out to integrate the idea that "their struggle is your struggle" and vice versa? I myself am from Morocco, an equally collectivistic country to Jordan I'd argue, but I feel that I'm on an opposite journey to someone like you, if someone of my family/extended family requests where am I with my studies and finance I get a little irritated, I'm like: my plans and state of being are none of their concern, haha. I'm quite keen to know how did you integrate it without this feeling of privacy and "independence" in your own pace being a little invaded, shall I say? Cheers :)

[@bonzaibb12]

It wasn't really cool for me when I went to critical care two times once on my wedding night because I was forced to wear what gave me heatstroke. There was no positive outlook to take, I tried but I kept getting physically I'll from being forced to do so much that I physically broke.

[@serenitybubble5182]

I love your videos Rachel. I am going to marry an Indian and it is giving me precious insight. I really don"t know what my future holds but you are so inspiring and I can relate

[@eleanormacgillivray9731]

You must really love your husband alot to make so many big changes in your life.❤🙏

[@PC-ONE]

The formula is: be open minded and accept to learn from the other culture because no culture is perfect.

[@taghridelgergawi4608]

Breast feeding is best, even islam encouraging breast feeding if possible 2 years. If against islam or science you should have not agree. Its yr childs best gift from you. Breast milk

[@jadsalem2723]

You are intervening ? Lol

[@dayan47]

Please cancel the annoying background music. You are so right about the weddings..so over the top!!! My mother in law was livid when I refused to wear dark red lipstick !!!

[@salemsalem1440]

You have very adorable babies!!!

[@mmss89ss72]

Now you're a British Arab.🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺

[@MummyinAmman]

☺️🙏

[@jadsalem2723]

I wish you all the best! How are you going to deal with the situation when you have to decide along with your in-laws wether the kids will go to church or to a mosque? I have a cousin who is now really in critical situation where his American wife is discussing this matter as they are now facing real situations that needs a lot of thinking.

[@tonyableu3769]

Black families in America are very similar to Arab families and from perspective intervening or being "interfering " or being " messy" usually destroys a marriage.

[@tonyableu3769]

@rep rep I gotcha. Aswar then...did I spell it right. AFRICAN AMERICANS?

[@tonyableu3769]

@rep rep I understand you, well in America the culture here is very racist and is separated by race, religion, and wealth. I understand that Islam teaches there is no race yet there are some racist Arabs as well that use the term "abed" but this is not the subject matter. Im happy to know that you are not racist nor am I. Thank you so much for interacting with me and sharing your knowledge 🙏

[@ReginaMcDaniel]

@@tonyableu3769 True. Racism is inherent to humanity, unfortunately. For my mom, she is perfectly fine with having friends of any race. Marriage...not so much. When my cousin married a Palestinian...it was a rough adjustment. "Abed" (although it has its root in the word for black) would have the same connotation as using negro in the US. Very negative.

[@tonyableu3769]

@@ReginaMcDaniel yes I very much agree with you on the topic. Racism is a terrible tool of the devil that curses all of humanity. The devil hates people and he definitely hates marriages which is always challenged because of whatever reasons and race is always usually the biggest issue. People emphasis not to marry outside your race when in reality we are all humans.

[@DX-d]

Exactly. It has nothing to do with "love'' and ''caring''.

[@zahedah80]

Like she said, everyone is in everyone's business so it's not about the "foreigner wife"

[@kldalm1379]

The king's mother is also British.

[@BS-cu2ed]

😮😮

[@MOHQUR]

مش قادر انجاهل صوت بياع الغاز اللي إخترق صوت الموسيقى اللي حاطيتها ريتشل

[@SereneHaddad]

You're really a big-minded woman with deep understanding of style differences and the close ties Arab families induce. For me it can be awful to put up with intervention!

[@DX-d]

Being a big-minded person has nothing to do with tolerating rudeness and disrespect. They treat her that way because she's a foreigner so, they're taking advantage of that fact.

[@lujainot5495]

@@DX-d lol no as a white woman she is waaaay more respected and appreciated than arab women , i am an arab and i know how this goes

[@muhammadshuman4465]

I think it's depend on the family

[@EmsaMun]

Please do not assume that us Arabic/Jordanian girls put up with our " in- laws intervening". You should probably know that most in-laws will expect things of you that they wouldn't dare expect from a Jordanian daughter-in- law.

[@DX-d]

Exactly, they're taking advantage of the fact that she is ignorant of the culture here. She should never allow her husband or his family to control her.

[@Tamtamlara]

I was super disturbed watching this video as a Jordanian, imagine not being able to raise your child the way you want and bottle feeding a baby to appease idiots!

[@lujainot5495]

lol what a load of crap , foreign wives are treated better than arab wives and they have less expectations

[@revdznet]

can you explain the sweating part ? and why its bad for the baby ?

[@Mimi5915280]

I don't understand Jordanian older generation and their obsession with formula, I am a Jordanian and with my daughter I had to fight so much backlash from family/doctors just to exclusively breastfeed my baby, and I don't regret it at all , it's so much better for the immunity and overall health on the long term. Please mothers don't compromise on this, your baby's health is more important than the opinions of others.

[@ighfirlee]

And crazy, breast milk is way way better than formula. Breast milk has individualised nutrition for the baby as compared to the general nutritioned formula milk.

[@ighfirlee]

Your husband has a Phd from UK. Do you have too? Or a BA, or MA? Reasoned I asked is that you rational and articulate very well.

[@احمدابوالنادي-س7ذ]

Why don't you translate your videos into Arabic because we understand your words with difficulty and continue to present you so wonderful

[@0omaryo0xD]

Oh here in Saudi it is actually advised to breastfeed rather than bottle feed. I never knew it’s the opposite in Jordan🤔

[@Rasha424]

It's not actually here in Jordan they say it's better to breastfeed idk why her in-laws told her it's better to use a formula

[@DX-d]

@@Rasha424 she should have never allowed anyone to intervene in such a personal and sensitive subject.

[@rodjohnon4950]

As much as I don't like the sweaty baby thing. I think the family thing is awesome.

[@MummyinAmman]

Yes! Family thing is definitely awesome 😊

[@DX-d]

Keep turning a" blind eye " to the things that make you feel bad, and ultimately you'll ruin your life by being miserable and a mat for anyone to walk on.

[@Tamtamlara]

Exactly, for me you need and have to stop these people interventions immediately.

[@aliamaher6621]

It’s surprising what you said about breastfeeding! In Islam it is considered a child's right to be breastfed until the approximate age of two. general guideline; one may wean before or after that time by mutual consent of the parents. If the mother can’t breastfeed her child then she can take him to someone who’s willing to breastfeed the child. That’s how important breastfeeding is in Islam. The woman who substantially nurses a child (more than five times before the age of two years) becomes a "milk mother" to the child and her kids become siblings with the breastfed child. Read about breastfeeding in Islam and ask your husband/mother in law about it. It’s written in the Quran

[@dhdowlad]

Please don't be blinded with your situation. you are not just a foreign wife, you are a European wife. which means you are highly valued in arabic culture wherever you are. The treatment you get will never be the same as a non-white wife even a Jordanian wife would be treated differently. Arabic culture is very misogynistic...

[@DX-d]

As a Jordanian, I completely agree with you.

[@tonyableu3769]

So Arab people feel that white European is high standard much like how black men view white women as a trophy....wow...smh...this world

[@lujainot5495]

i agree

[@alimakd2859]

💙🇯🇴🇬🇧💙 I invite you to visit my city, Ramtha

[@luckysweetheartvintage476]

Ali Makd OMG my husband family is from Ramtha!!!!! My entire family lives there except for an uncle in Frankfurt and a few sister in law that live in Amman

[@alimakd2859]

There are many people in Ramtha who live in Germany

[@alimakd2859]

I can know your husband's family

[@dsclips900]

You are not considerate (of course you are), you are smart and clever haha

[@ferasalnadi4152]

You are the perfection

[@catarinaoliveira5641]

OMG, it's so freaking annoying to hear people telling you to wrap your babies ALL THE TIME!!! It's drives me insane!!! I live in Mozambique and everyone keeps telling me to cover my baby. It drives me absolutely crazy. I'm happy to know I'm not the only one haha. I throw a sheet over him when around family, but otherwise I just let him be comfortable, lol. I don't really understand why would you cover a baby up when he is clearly hot up until now...

[@braazenieh5143]

The interven It normal to happen even local mom,s have different vision about the way to rise a kid, but Family remains important here, family here is every thing we care about ,don,t take the interven as power against you .they interven because they love and are care even we they had wrong Opinion or not go with the modern Science , my advise to you go with flow and what you feel it wrong like wrab baby for ex make frount the old and then do what you want in home , the older people loving and did not mean to hurt you and them feelings considerate in our culture

[@DX-d]

7:11 you're not going to change their minds of course, but at the same time you should grow a backbone and have your own personality and most of all, think about your child's benefit, not family members' feelings being "hurt" because of what you choose to dress your kids.

[@DX-d]

The breastfeeding part is one of the most ignorant things I have ever heard. Pure ignorance. You're willing to risk your child's safety and compromise his immune system just because you can't say no to your husband or husband's family!!!

[@SuSaba]

Hello

[@bbbtttify]

1st ❤️

[@PipinhoSnow]

ok

[@maenq1981]

جميل

[@Sami_f_AL-Hamdan]

All my 5 kids have been breast fed by their mother at least for 1 year and most of times we try to prolong it to 2 years if possible. I am sad to hear from you that you have been told to bottle feed your kids

[@daraghmeh007]

I hate the background music, am I judgmental ?

[@alreadydead5630]

Lol no . its ok not to like something.

[@alimakd2859]

Interpretation is required when you are speaking in order for people to understand

[@MummyinAmman]

The translations on my videos are community-based so they often come a couple of weeks after I post. Inshallah there will be translations for this one soon!

[@revdznet]

she doesn't work for you , learn english , she learned arabic ,so at least try .

[@ALMUTASEMBELLAH]

What happened to your channel?

[@some-asian]

As arabs. When we vist someone and saw his child not good looking we think his mother doesn't care about him and his loking specially your husband mother she needs to see that she have a good wife for her son.

[@DX-d]

The mother in law has no right in anything, and she doesn't have to do anything that she doesn't want to. Your backward ignorant sexist comment should be kept to yourself.

[@wafawafa9207]

والله بنت شكلها مضغوطة واجد من الأهل ، شكلها مارح تطول معاه ، ما هي نفس عربية تصير خدامة للزوج فقط لانه رجل و الأهل يتدخلون حتى في رضاعة ولدها

[@wafawafa9207]

@@user-ln8xk5oc3t الكل ينصدم من رجل عربي لانة يلعب على بنت دور رجل مثالي و بعد زواج تكتشف أنها جارية لا غير حتى هي انصدمت

[@hassanhilles8716]

هذا الكلام غير صحيح .. أنا رجل عربي أردني و حياتي مع زوجتي تشاركية في كل شيء .. معظم الاحيان أنا أقوم بالطبخ و غسيل الملابس و الأهتمام بطفلتي و أدعم زوجتي معنويا و إجتماعيا.

[@wafawafa9207]

@@hassanhilles8716 بس هي مو جدي

[@DX-d]

@@hassanhilles8716حالتك الشخصية لاتعممها على الغالبية.

[@abodnahleh94]

ليش مافي ترجمة عربي 🙂

[@muathabujabalah1415]

ليش انتا موجود🙂

[@sagedsa7699]

@@muathabujabalah1415 this. Is intervene

[@muathabujabalah1415]

@@sagedsa7699 انا بس بمزح

[@MummyinAmman]

مرحبا، إن شاء الله سيكون هناك ترجمة قريبا

[@abodnahleh94]

@@MummyinAmman شكرا جزيلا لكي ❤❤❤

[@ramakelani4027]

The background music is so annoying

[@MummyinAmman]

I know 😫 won’t happen next time!!

[@Elena-pl1de]

I think the music was nice in the video.

[@Latte-girly90]

Not to be mean but I feel like you’re losing yourself. You’re not from their culture and that’s okay. Don’t sacrifice your morals for the sake of being “liked”. The example you gave about dressing up the babies was really alarming. You basically are doing something you know is harmful to your babies health just to make them happy. That’s so sad. I think you really need to grow a backbone, I couldn’t imagine having to completely throw away who I am for marriage.

[@marianamartinez4106]

I think 💭 losing herself is a dangerous word your using. It’s disrespectful. She’s trying to explain to let go of the little stuff ultimately it’s just culture if you ask me this is why marriages fail due to being BIAS FROM THE BEGINNING. Not to be mean however this is just her speaking you don’t know her Whole marriage or anything about her morals. Instead point out she has a KZbin channel and this is her platform to express herself.

[@marianamartinez4106]

rep rep dress ? I didn’t mention anything about a dress

[@Latte-girly90]

rep lol did you just say there's no rape 🙄You can marry a child in the middle east and in some places rape isn't illegal. And let's not forget those honor killings/rapes. In the West, you can't have sex with children, and rape is against the law. Women actually have the right to be adults. So don't say anything about you fake “morals”. All your “morals” benefits men. Your culture doesn't protect women or children

[@Latte-girly90]

rep rep and her daughter would be more safe in the West. Arab men are obsessed with white western women, they can't control themselves.

[@Latte-girly90]

rep rep a 12-year-old is still a child. That's facts. Most girls don't even get there period until 13-14 or later. That is super disturbing. A 12-year-old isn't even in middle school yet 🤮 I have a cousin that age, and the thought of a grown man trying to marry her is CRAZY. I'm glad I was born in the West 🙏 I feel so sorry that girls in your country don't even get a childhood. That is probably why a lot of them flee to my country.

[@khaledrabea9931]

You look confused ...any way keep going to make new videos with differant topics by enhance recording and prepair your self befor recording ....good luck

[@DX-d]

Your comment is rude. Don't tell her what to do. It's her channel.

[@DX-d]

You absolutely shouldn't be wearing anything or doing your makeup in a certain way that doesn't make you feel comfortable. It has everything to do with your husband and his upbringing. sadly they don't respect boundaries. You're your own individual, don't let ANYONE convince you otherwise for their personal agendas.