Is Christian Dating or Courting Better? What's the Difference and Which One Is More Biblical?

[@girly5eva]

I think the best approach is "dating with purpose" with the intent being marriage.

[@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger]

I agree :) some of the other ladies commenting on this video said we should call it "dateship" which is the combination of courtship and dating. Thoughts?

[@girly5eva]

ApplyGodsWord.com/Mark Ballenger lol the name doesn't matter otherwise it becomes legalistic. It matters more what you do. Just my opinion.

[@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger]

:)

[@jakuteng]

Yes. Dating with the purpose of getting married.

[@tanyastevens9553]

Mark, you have found your calling.. People are learning and building their character with the help from the Lord, alongside your knowledge Jesus is implementing in your life. It is people like you that change the world. Of course The Lord carries us but, applying wisdom through us to fill his masterpiece with love. 💛

[@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger]

Thanks so much Tanya, I really appreciate that encouragement

[@juchebo100]

I have 2 Indian friends that did the Christian courting. One of them; her husband saw her online on a Christian Indian “Facebook” page. Her husband spoke to her pastor and then to her parents before he started talking to my friend. She was here in Texas and he was in Atlanta. They became friends, FaceTimed a lot and then they got engaged and married and my friend moved to Atlanta and they have a son now. My other friend, she was introduced to her husband through her cousins. He came to the US from India for a friend’s wedding. So he contacted her pastor and her parents before talking to her. They had a chaperone follow them everywhere they went, they were never alone. They went to India for the traditional engagement; he asked her family members for her hand in marriage and they came back to the US to get married and they have a son now as well. I never knew the difference between Christian Dating and Christian Courting until I saw this video. After watching the video, I realized that my Indian friends courted their current husbands

[@advocateofpeace947]

I’ve read I kissed dating goodbye when I was 18 which I think led me to break up with my then non-Christian boyfriend. I just remembered that while setting up my priorities, as a student and a new Christian then I needed time. But in my heart praying that on our separate ways will encounter God. I believe the book had set me straight to become a real Christian woman worth waiting for, He set me in a position where I’m ready to be a wife, my faith became stronger and gave me wisdom on how to look out for the “Real Man of God”. On the other hand, it sets my standards so high that I didn’t go on a date ever since that break up... I didn’t entertain non-Christian suitors, or new believers, not believing relationships online work...I think the book made me anti-social and perfect-one seeker. Maybe the guys thought of all the rules of courting badly and in effect shoo them away. I think I made a law out of others experience. But at the same time it helped me to hold on purity and wait for marriage to even kiss (I’m 37 and it’s hard). By watching your video, I’ve seen the balance. I think I like the fusion of the two. It’s more practical and realistic. I kissed dating goodbye is somewhat a story of happily ever after, in a perfect world of a novel book which you can also find some good lessons which is very good to apply in life. It gives you strength and emphasis on guarding your heart. But it could have been better also to be open and go out (with caution) and try to experience different things and meet different people.

[@HotelCharliHill]

You really don't want to entertain the thought of a non-Christian suitor though. We are not to yoke with unbelievers. Make sure a guy is relatively mature first so you know he isn't just a fake professing Christian.

[@mariahconklin4150]

I’m 36 and have been in many relationships none in which we’re good because all of the men I dated distracted me from God or is just fall away myself. Now someone is courting me and we are actually having a lot of fun together. We somewhat flirt by touching each other’s shoulder and joking around but that’s as far as it has gone and I’m okay with that. I just got so sick of dating or being in relationships that led nowhere. Now I’m turning to God. My mom keeps telling me to pray about this new person in my life so we will see what happens

[@kyro-jaxxsonofkosmos23]

You don't need legalistic courtship to avoid sexual sin. Just guard yourself, your heart, and date in public.

[@courtneykirk478]

I agree, Mr. Young.

[@mariahconklin4150]

Yep that’s what I’m doing. 😀 so far it’s going well

[@preachingpoet]

This question has been my prayer... it’s really been in my heart

[@rosem.3533]

I think the third option (your opinion) should be titled as Christian Dateship! Combination of Christian Dating and Christian Courtship. 😊 I agree with that middle approach/your opinion.

[@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger]

Hahahaha, I like that combination of words :)

[@rosem.3533]

ApplyGodsWord.com/Mark Ballenger ☺🙄 Your option is a good balance between both extremes. I needed a word that would get that across. Lol!

[@katiee5903]

i like that combo too :)

[@jessicarainsford7609]

I agree!! 🤙

[@siskristie2113]

I like the combo too! I am too old for all that stuff!

[@rizenofficial2369]

Thank You Brother. I'm currently seeking for a Godly woman to be my future wife. I'm praying on it so I shall have patience through the process.

[@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger]

You are welcome, keep seeking the Lord and he will make your paths straight :)

[@mariahconklin4150]

Have you tried writing about your future wife in a letter to God? This is what I’m doing and I’m dating the letter for a year later and putting it in an envelope entitled “do not open until September 28th 2022.” I used to do this a long time ago and now I’m back at it again and love it. Hope that God answers your prayers.

[@kidsomagnificent]

@13:44 this is definitely me 😭😭😭 which Is why I been single for this long. Always being in my head and having high expectations in myself which made the process slower. I needed this one! ☝🏿🙏🏿

[@kyro-jaxxsonofkosmos23]

Can't say I'm in to aimless dating. Can't say I'm into strict courtship. I'm sure I'll find something that works for me. The middle ground

[@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger]

I like the heart preparation that usually goes along with courtship and the practical relationship parts of dating

[@ImWORTHITINC]

I appreciate you, Pastor Mark! Praying for you and your family!

[@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger]

Thanks so much! God bless :)

[@ImWORTHITINC]

I AM blessed, Pastor! TY! Subscribe & comment on my channel! Also, pray for me! I'm writing more queries trying to sell my book! God put it on my heart to get it published this year!

[@ImWORTHITINC]

AMEN! LIVE the Word of God! That is number 1! That's what I talk about in the book! Live according to your values, be yourself (that means following the career God put on your heart's desire--NO MATTER HOW BIG) and God will lead the right man into your life for you to marry!

[@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger]

Amen!

[@saynotohookups]

I thought about that one day: does the Bible really lay out courtship? I don't see any specific pattern for how to go about pursuing a spouse other than putting your trust in the Lord. One thing that the Bible says is to avoid the appearances of evil. I like a lot of what you had to say. It all comes down to godly wisdom. It's wise to include other people in and it's also a good idea to know what the potential spouse would be like you are talking one on one with them because sometimes a person can reveal something about them self that they would not reveal with another person who's around to hear it. There is a lot that I need to work on with myself before I get married. When I get to know a man it must be with the purpose of getting to know him as a person to see if he is the right spouse for me and that I am the right spouse for him.

[@trishg8852]

I think dating with an understanding- --of a possibility-- of it leading to a marriage. There's a lot to process, as you have stated in another video- talking about "players". You want to avoid "players" and "narcissists" !!! 😮

[@MrYeet-ip4qj]

Amen

[@SantaFe19484]

It is always good to take the middle of the road in situations like this.

[@gabyduarte8774]

The last few minutes about how important it is for the commitment and the intimacy in the relationship to be equal really spoke so much to my heart! Thanks so much again! I truly believe this channel is doing things. I know it is for me. God bless!

[@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger]

So glad to hear this Gabriela, it's really a blessing to hear how God is using this content for his glory. God bless!

[@camlovesjesus8872]

All Glory to God 🙏🏾 Every Good thing comes from God, we shall praise and worship him forever and ever 🙌🏾🙏🏾❤️

[@tiarasiahaan]

Amen

[@BlessedbyGrace-rn8hl]

You are a tremendous source of motivation for me. Your videos about God have changed my perspective on life and helped me find true meaning. Thank you for these invaluable shares.

[@bradleychampagne9103]

Well I guess I'll end up being a courter...even though I'm 29 and not courting anyone...yet...still.

[@ginagonzalez1530]

Again, too much work. 😊 I appreciate your insight. A lot of good advices. In my opinion a Christian should let the Holy Spirit lead both parties. They will never go wrong. The Holy Spirit knows best for both and He knows what fits best at the moment. However, if people are not led by the Holy Spirit, all of these advises are good.

[@janitorman1965]

As I was listening to your video Mark I was thinking to myself why not adapt hybrid version of Christian dating . It would be Christian dating with accountability from the courtship Modal.Great video Mark you have an awesome ministry keep it up.

[@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger]

lol! Glad we were on the same page :)

[@Clauds71]

Hi Mark, I found ‘I Kissed Dating Goodbye’ really insightful and encouraging. I guess I had grown tired of the dating game so this book was invaluable for me. It allowed me to do the much needed work on my soul and to look at guys differently. It introduced the concept that the relationship wasn’t there just to satisfy me but I had to be the best version of myself before I entered one. Great video by the way 👍

[@maryswenson5357]

I grew up going to church and I never really understood what people ment when they were courting so this clears that up. Thanks. I will just stick to dating or mini adventures aka dates until I decide to call some blessed man my boyfriend. I think only dating when you actually see potential is key don't just date to date out of boredom.

[@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger]

Mary Swenson, good point :)

[@pineappledonut5011]

I am going into the military and as a young Christian guy i have interest in this young Christian girl i used to go to school with. We have been talking for a few months as friends and we have set up a day after church to get to know each other better. And I agree with most of these points, but (using my situation for an example) the guy should sometimes use dating to see how the relationship would be romantically (within God’s rules) if there is a reason such as mine a 6 year contract with the military. I feel like i would be ready to get married after a few years into my military experience. But before we would get married we would continue to build a stronger relationship of trust. Right now i currently believe that i am capable of handling a serious relationship with a delayed marriage to let God to help and aid us both grow physically, spiritually, mentally, and romantically to handle the stresses, challenges and hardships and enjoy the things of marriage.

[@HotelCharliHill]

May this be blessed. And as for romantic, yes, see if there is chemistry and attraction, but be careful how much you touch, even hands, especially hugging and kissing because these are POWERFUL tools to BIND people together. You can read the booked HOOKED about our brain chemistry and sexuality. This touching also is so influential on our attraction that it can blind us from seeing if someone is genuinely in love with the Lord and ready for a godly relationship for the glory of God. You don't want to manipulate a woman into loving you by accident because being touched feels so good, you want to honour her and cherish her and let her come to love you because she sees Christ in you. Explain these things and she will agree and be grateful.

[@cheyenneobregon184]

Hey brother any updates? 🤣

[@arbretree5463]

I totally agree with your own stance on the topic!

[@tanyastevens9553]

Very good knowledgeable advice. Thank You!

[@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger]

My pleasure Tanya! God bless :)

[@MariankGonzalez]

Thanks for presenting the two sides! I learned a lot. :)

[@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger]

You are welcome Mariank! So glad to hear this was helpful :)

[@GemRizing]

Awesome video Mr Mark thank you for sharing! 😊

[@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger]

You are welcome!

[@chongpymisao4830]

Mark,im so hurt n heartbroken . I need yr prayer for a godly man to come into my life ..india

[@HotelCharliHill]

I pray that you will find contentment in the Lord, be satisfied and filled with His love, serving Him in kingdom ways, sharing the Gospel and making disciples, so that you'll be fine without a man, but blessed abundantly to have one if that is still the desire God puts in your heart. Try six months.

[@ginagonzalez1530]

Hi Chongpy Misao, I understand what you mean. Usually, people who get hurt a lot is because they have had father wound. Either they grew up without a father or father physically present but emotionally absent. If that's the case with you, I highly recommend Pastor Rev. R.C. Blakes Jr. You can find him on KZbin or go into his website. I hope this helps. God Bless you.

[@sierra2516]

Amazing video qnd amazing approach to explaining the 2 different sides and then putting both of them together in the end with what you believe. I believe the exact same way!!💯✝️💗 Btw I love your videos and have been following you for a long time and I love the way that your videos line up with the Bible and don't water down the gospel and don't take it out of context!!💯✝️💗 Thank you for what you do and feeding into my life!! God bless you!!😁

[@Mahogany777]

Amazing video, very easy to understand!

[@mosesdabah]

I read I kissed Dating Goodbye. At the time I read it, I had just experienced a break up and so I was looking for something to make me feel good about singleness. I believe it was good and kinda not so good. Good because I was encouraged to remain single. This allowed me heal and grow. On the flip side, it made me see dating as not biblical. It made me see dating as perhaps not godly.

[@mosesdabah]

@S S Absolutely bro!

[@ronaldjackson4052]

Definitely was helpful. I'm currently rereading "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" and am finding it very helpful because it is challenging me to examine my motives in pursuing a women. Specifically fulfilling the command to love our fellow believer. If I love them, I wouldn't just want them because it pleases me sensually. I also loved how he pointed us to God's Word. I did however end up making laws out of the principles he shared, even though that wasnt his intention. This video help me see another perspective and made me want to get in the scriptures as I did before and allow what God has said to have authority over anything someone might recommend. Appreciated and God Bless. Also, I wouldn't mind sharing more if you desire to keep the conversation going.

[@johnc1014]

I wanted to give my thoughts, because I've changed my views a few times. I definitely don't think Christians should 'date' without the intention of seeking a future spouse. To me, dating without any intention of commitment sounds like your playing with someone's heart and time and perhaps leading them on. That isn't Godly. However, I've gone to the other extreme and sought commitment far too early, only to realize this wasn't the right person. So. I'd now say to simply be honest. Seek a relationship with the intent to seek a future spouse. Do this with someone only if you believe they may be that person. But, don't get too serious early on. Make your intentions clear, but don't be planning a wedding date or talking too much of the future without first really getting to know the person. I started to make that mistake again and am now back peddling to get to know the person better. I still really like her. But, I started talking of marriage way too intensly at first and may have scared her a bit. Oops. Anyway, my point is to be honest and purposeful, but not too serious at first. If you think someone you know might be good wife material, great. Ask her father for permission (if still appropriate), ask her, then begin to learn more about her. If you continue to really like her and more desire marriage with her, court her, win her heart, and let her get to know you far better.

[@DIEGOPSYCHE]

I started to read that book and page three made uneasy because it Painted a picture of what I wanted but at the same time the book made like all I wanted was the physical aspect and that's not the case. Before I became a Christian I was given a porn collection the month I accepted the Lord I was handed the playboy of the month and I remember saying that I did not need it anymore but a big part of it was because I wanted a Christian girlfriend. But I never went back to it. I have cerebral palsy and I'm still single. Some I feel angry at God because I wish he would take away my attraction for women away its frustrating useless desire at this point. But I between dating and courtship because I still want to to do things for myself if I get married and I figuring out how much help I may from her, I feel like that is more like intimate thing and also I want to be sure that I can be a blessing to her and be able to help out more than she does me. But the main thing I would want to be sure is dishonor her when things get hard. And I think that all stuff is to deep for just dating. But I also want to be sure that we could laugh and have a good time and dance and dating might be good for that.

[@virginiathornton8480]

Woooo. Now I understand. Thanks Mark. God bless you.

[@fireheartsproductions5760]

helpfull indeed. Thank you Mark.

[@HoneyCarlyn]

Hi Mark... I just discovered your videos and I must say it really is so completely helpful as there aren't enough people speaking about relationships in this kind of way. I am currently in a Christian relationship for 2 and a half years. We have been seeing and experiencing some issues regarding temptations and is straining our relationship. I have always wondered why, but after watching your video I have realized that I came into this relationship with my partner with the intent of courting and he came into the relationship with the intent of Christian dating. My question is, how do you think we can get to a more common ground? He is thinking about the finances, house, and wedding, while I am more concerned about how dating for this long is going strain our relationship and we should just get married as God always makes a way.

[@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger]

I'm glad you found the channel, this video may help: kzbin.info/www/bejne/fIu7mqprg6arl9k

[@kerrymchugh6284]

Thanks for this.

[@jessicamerced9116]

I always appreciate these videos. I've been abstinent and date free for nearly a year since I ended my unequally-yolked relationship with my children's father. I wanted to marry him but he was not the right one for me so that desire quickly dissipated when I realized who he was. I've struggled with this mistake despite my love and gratefulness for my beautiful children. I'm ready for a Godly marriage that glorifies Our Lord. I don't feel I want to date, I prefer courting. But, based on other videos, I'm not ready to put myself out there. I tend to isolate from meeting new people, not in an unhealthy manner but I don't take time to meet people as a single mother. I'm officially confused, some days I feel ready and some days I feel anxious about the thought - do I need more time? Should I put myself out there and meet people? I like someone but I'm too nervous to talk to him anymore than I do. Lord Jesus, I need your guidance 🙏

[@rosalindafortier8184]

Hey, I can really relate to this! I’m a divorced mom of two young kids. My divorce was clearly biblical (in most peoples view) and I have done a lot of recovery work and prayerful study that has lead me to conclude that remarriage is a biblical option for me. But I do not feel free to date. Courting seems like the best option for me. If a man is interested in me, then I expect them to patiently get to know me and allow me to get to know them in the context of community and then go through the proper channels (talking to one of my pastors) about if it’s wise to pursue an intentional relationship with me. Kids complicate things so much. One resource that has helped me tremendously is the Fresh Start Divorce Recovery Workbook. Even if you are not technically divorced in a legal sense, you are still “divorced” in an emotional and social sense. I have multiple friends who have found it extremely helpful and I went through it twice myself and got sooo much out of it. Blessings on your journey!

[@JH-qy8no]

Luke: I'm not afraid! Yoda: You WILL be! You WILL be!

[@matthewsilver5455]

What does intimacy look like? What does commitment look like? How do you make sure that their is an appropriate level of each? Thanks

[@isaacwerk]

Great explanation! Thanks! 🙏🏼👍🏼

[@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger]

Kengra Media, you are welcome :)

[@kar3n35]

There's a lot of lables flying around. U just want it to be a friendship where the person can be themself and I can be my self to find out if we are compatible. I wanna see the flaws of the person and I want the to see mine the faster they can get a grasp of who I am the better. I don't want to waste time pritending to be perfect when I'm not. Dating or courting or whatever they are labels to me. I just want a solid friendship to engagement basically. But I want to make sure they see who I am on a day to day basis. What I do, how I act. Ones u get with someone that's what it matters, not the time Everything seem perfect at the country Fair. Let get to the meat of the potato quick. I don't wanna tiptoe or beat around the bush to find out someone is not what am looking for or I'm not what someone is looking for.

[@margiecalabung4744]

Courting for those mature people who knows what they really want.. not base on feelings like playings games.. they married and sooner they divorce

[@liezlsmal9151]

I am a Christian women who will be turning 44 in a few weeks time. I have been celibate now for 10 years and I would say that the Ï kissed dating goodbye" DVD put sexual purity, dating and marriage in a whole new light which resonated with me and set me on the path of wanting to honour God with my sexuality and relationships and realizing that the Öne"is out there. Be patient and trust God.

[@mariahconklin4150]

I really enjoyed reading this book. A lot of people do not like it. Very helpful to me though

[@vanessap7209]

Great video!

[@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger]

God bless!

[@donidan4894]

I'm 62. He's 57. After 19 months I just realized he's courting. He says he's waiting for God to open a door. In the meantime I was foolish enough to fall in love and my heart has virtually been ripped out of my chest a hundred times. Especially when he says he never thinks about marriage at all. It actually looks like being back burnered and breadcrumbs.

[@justelectricllc]

Good video...i never heard of courting

[@st.patricklovessynth1463]

Im still in need to figure this process out and I did read I kissed dating goodbye but have never found a godly woman yet and have made so many mistakes anf learned alot from the failures. But Im still torn and uncertain what to do. One big question we all need to address should also be why did the author Joshua Harris renounce his faith and probably this book? Im guessing all of that hard work he did with his wife ended up in vain bc I heard that he also is now divorced!??? So what hope can we have to knlw what wr can do to ensure a lofe long lasting AND very satiafying marriage that maintains all levels of intimacy? Im 40 yrs old and have been with many women and nothing Ive done has worked for my own satisfaction??😢 It seems that no matter how great things are the first 2 years that the passion fades and people become bored and dont desire to stay together anymore and it ends and then we are at the beginning again starting over going through the same processes!? Also Please define marriage from how you think the bible defines it bc Christianity doesnt teach what God shows with various people down through time. Amd history shows different than the traditions of men which make God's words nullified and of no effect in their lives and in others.? Ive been married the Modern American Christian way and it still failed. So I need alot more wisdom to make sure that I dont waste any more time anymore and never be left again since every woman but two have left me and broken off our relationships!? Who can truly find a faithful person anymore as a proverb says?

[@preciousbees5721]

I was gonna say using courting rather than dating allows for opportunity to express intentions, but method title hardly matters, just be godly

[@jeanstoudemire9178]

Strange sound in the background at 1:42. Did anyone else hear it?

[@alissalavelle3460]

I did!! Bizarre lol

[@woodbrassandglass]

It's interesting to remember that in Bible times, you would typically gain a woman by buying her, or an arranged marriage. Courting and dating are relatively newer concepts in the aspect of of full history. In olden times women did not have rights. Or you could trade for a woman or buy her.

[@jasonpelerine7817]

I want to speak to the fact that you told us that his approach was "Court don't date!" When in fact he actually said right up front that he wasn't advocating for one or the other he took pretty much the same stance that you did. I do think that it appeared like the whole waiting and dating movement Proported to be legalistic. Doing that movement nobody specifically ported any scriptures but they did actually make their opinions into laws!😑😑😑

[@adventuresofxyz22]

I don't think any of them should be ruled out exclusively. If you don't date, then you don't meet people and you end up settling without exploring. That's one of the reasons we have so many failed or unhappy marriages within our churches.

[@josephtoro3168]

Dang, this clarifies a bunch of complicated ideas. A great video to watch if two people come from different viewpoints.

[@amarymeyer]

I can't share your video because an ad popped up for dating Chinese women of any age, etc.

[@doityourselfartoftheheart1715]

i think courtship is my style tho im a girl i cant do multiple dating tho theres no commitment yet i feel like its unjust to do it..i feel responsible if i told someoone ill get to know him then i should be focus in him not letting other guy pursue me at a specific time while im still talking to a guy i allowed to get to know

[@harleighstringer]

i agree. i dont want to date someone until i know for sure we are on the same page

[@emmittgiesbrecht707]

I have dated girls. And I regret that. I have become super close friends with a girl I’m the last year and I am talking to her and we are thinking of courtship. We are both ready to get married.

[@mosesdabah]

Have you made the Video you promised to make about the book Pastor Mark?

[@florenceta]

Yeah!!! Amen

[@margiecalabung4744]

I will go on courting.. all begins on friendship.

[@doityourselfartoftheheart1715]

im getting confused people saying dating and breakup..does that mean your already in a relationship when dating?.i thought dating is like not much serious type compare to courting but not getting into formal bf gf relationships yet..

[@trina2449]

May I ask, what if the woman figures out first /earlier during the dating process that she wants to marry the man? What God-glorifying step should she do?

[@adventuresofxyz22]

As the relationship develops i think there is room for open communication. Give it time to flourish

[@trina2449]

@@adventuresofxyz22 That makes sense! Thank you!

[@doloresbeamon3805]

What if a man who is a Minister prophesied and quoted scripture Proverbs 18:22 What do you think of this?

[@PurposeDriven4U]

🛑So how can Christians find Christian courting apps as opposed to the dating?

[@jasonpelerine7817]

I loved I Kissed Dating Goodbye and I'm heartbroken Josh Harris has lost his faith!😣😣😣 I agree with you though. I don't think there is any set way of doing it. Question though: is a cup of coffee an actual date or the precursor to one? Personally I think that people can go to coffee even if they're just friends... But I think sometimes maybe it might be an actual date or something that's meant to build up to a date. But I just feel really kind of hurt sometimes that one lady actually almost threw a restraining order at me because I asked her if she would have a cup of coffee with me and then I was talking to a friend of hers who I wanted to use to help solve some issues and he talked to me like I was the bad guy like I had actually tried to force myself on her which I had not!😶🤐😓😖

[@truthful4u]

I am afraid to read "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" due to the mixed (mostly negative) reviews from various sources.

[@misspriss2482]

I didn't have a problem with the book. It seemed to me that a lot of what Joshua said was taken out of context and personalized when it was clear that a lot of what he wrote didn't apply to everybody. I see people blaming that book as lacking common sense when it comes to reading any advice book. To me, taking everything that Joshua said as gospel was a mistake on the reader's part. I appreciate the general guidelines that Joshua put out there, but just like any other book, you have to know what applies to you/your situation and what doesn't. As a matter of fact, Joshua talked about Christians' tendency to be legalistic and come up with rules. What stood out for me was Joshua's comments on sexual purity and the desire that everyone should have to be intentional towards people versus playing games. As a guy or girl, it's OK to not know if you want to marry someone at first. However, if you know in your heart that you have no intentions of ever getting married and the person you're dating has expressed a desire for marriage, don't waste that person's time because you desire that person and/or companionship. Stop being selfish and end it.

[@spark300c]

their is reason why because the guy did not have any experience in psychology. the system become too stressful and men felt it was to stressful intricate a courtship so few did.

[@trippy9548]

I prefer courting over dating... I don't wanna put all my energy into one guy

[@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger]

Courting to me is where you are focused on one guy and dating is when you try multiple dates. So I think we are using different terms :)

[@trippy9548]

Ohhh. Really? Lol

[@davidbears5213]

Could you clarify a bit what you mean by "ready for marriage"? I just started graduate school, so my workload is high and income is low, so I am definitely not ready to marry and provide for a family at this time. Does this mean I should not try to date right now?

[@siskristie2113]

Ok.. I have to listen to this one because I thought they were one of the same??

[@makdstop8380]

Well I do know who I want to marry but I don't think I am ready for that at this time

[@spark300c]

The biggest problem is the courtship is too serious make too stress for men to intricate it. Only few men can take the stress of intricating it . I hated the book. they guy was extrovert and had the skills to get into a relationship. I do not have those skills. He had no experience in psychology. his system created whole phase which pre courting phase. yet he did not help people on how to complete the phase. which pre courting phase you do have meet alot people to know what kind personalties you like and get along with.

[@justynak3867]

Hi Mark, So then a girl shouldn't have male friends? (If she doesn't know if she wants to or is ready to marry). I mean what's the difference between dating and just friends ..isn't it all dating?

[@adventuresofxyz22]

For me, the difference between dating and just friends is the "intention" . It's a slim difference , however, characterised by the fact that you're open and looking, and this person "has the potential" to be ur future spouse. Friendship now, you don't even consider that at all at any point.

[@justynak3867]

@@adventuresofxyz22 right, except one day one can perhaps change their mind and then they already formed this bond with this friend.

[@adventuresofxyz22]

@@justynak3867 and people change their minds all the time, that's why we have to guard our hearts, don't go in too deeply and ask God for discernment.

[@justynak3867]

@@adventuresofxyz22 how do we avoid not going in deeply? What if we fall in love?

[@justynak3867]

Also, what if the one on the other end falls in love or tries to flirt aggressively? I had to block him.

[@ginaromano4858]

Can God lead you to a Godly man who you get along with and where you're both devoted to one another, but not intend for you to marry them?

[@ngamjai2207]

Dating is starting a romantic relationship that did not start in friendship first. Courtship is when romantic relationship starts from friendship.

[@betrothalguys]

Neither are in the Bible. Single Christian men need to go back to treating women as their sister-in-Christ and leave couple-like behaviors for when they are really a couple which is after the man, with direction from God, offers marriage and they get betrothed.

[@doloresbeamon3805]

How long does it take for a man who have been divorced to get into another relationship for marriage?

[@JMSocialMediaService]

Dating and courting is not biblical. Christian dating is meeting, congregate and fellowshiping which are Biblical. so why using "Christian Dating" oh I already here oh this righteous is not attractive.. Nevertheless, lots of interesting points and biblical spirit of God pursuit here. Thank you Jesus Thank you so much Mark for this video thought.

[@akosfellner5061]

The is a problem whit this view. The "Friend Zone". I saw a lot of Christians suffer in putting in the Friend Zone. I agree that don't date unintentionally, but make only friendship and waiting when it develops a romantic relation is sucks. OK, God will prepare your right one, but this is not very adult behavior.

[@donidan4894]

I agree. Being in the friend zone too long is extremely painful.

[@ileanaduenas7566]

Should Christians wear weddings rings? I have read several scriptures but can't come to a conclusion.

[@alexisheart3546]

I would so like to know as well. Anyone have thoughts...?

[@saynotohookups]

Jansen T...I think that your opinion is good. I would want someone to know if I was taken, in fact I would want to go a step further and get a beautiful engraving on the outside of the ring that says 'married' or our first names engraved on our rings if my husband to be is in agreement with doing something like that.

[@HotelCharliHill]

Here's a question, which verses or passages say "Don't wear a wedding ring"?

[@patrick27091]

I read i kissed dating goodbye 😍

[@misspriss2482]

Me too. I even own the DVD series. It was amazing. I honestly don't get why people were so angry with this book. I see nothing that Joshua said wrong. He just simply shared his personal experience and what worked for him. I never understood why people felt compelled to blindly adopt everything he said as a definitive instruction manual when his writing never came across to me that way.

[@ngamjai2207]

Dating is western culture approach while courtship is Asian conservative approach .

[@loveroftruth8148]

Hey mark. Im a little confused brother. I believe you mentioned that courting is when youre ready for marriage and aiming towards that. But u also said courting is a season of friendship before romantic interest is expressed. How can u bring up marriage without even have conveyed interest yet...?? Sounds a bit pushy to talk about marriage, yet romantic interest isnt expressed...sorry im sure im misunderstanding you bro. I hope u can help me understand

[@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger]

Courting involves a long season of friendship before official courting begins. When you express romantic interest, it is very marriage focused because you have already gotten to know each other in friendship. So you are not courting your friend. You are friends for awhile and then you would court. Hope that helps

[@loveroftruth8148]

@@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger yes it does brother. Thank you Mark!!

[@javiervictoria1582]

Everything in the book needs to be taken with a grain of salt

[@JM23007]

Especially with the author just divorcing his wife and renouncing Christianity and discontinuing the books and apologizing for all the harm it's done.

[@ruthsarah8258]

sorry i havent listened through but i know for sure GOD CANNOT BE BOXED with structures and opinions. Isaac got a wife very differently from how David did or Samson. Lets allow God to direct our journey to marriage

[@ngamjai2207]

I'm practising courtship and God honors it. I'm done with dating and it can lead us to emotional prostitute.

[@siskristie2113]

I don't understand why you would want to date all these people and it leads no where fast? My question is what is the point in meeting all these people via "dating"? I personally think it's wasted time. I am like so not doing that! Ok, let's say you dated all these guys right? So you are pretty much going to have to drop them when you do get married. I am pretty sure that your husband is not going to like you still being 'friends' with someone you 'dated'. Therefore, what is the purpose? I am not getting it?? I don't see the wisdom in forming attachments to all these different folks. Unless you are talking everybody hanging out in a group. Y'all young folk come up with some stuff!! I wasn't raised like that.

[@preciousbees5721]

Do not blaspheme the Holy Spirit

[@WasLostButNowAmFound]

I kiss apostasy hello! - Joshua Harris

[@awestphal40]

Terrible book. Terrible terrible. I am a divorced believer and I partially blame that book. I saw it recently at my parents house and I threw it away.

[@sundance8623]

Why is God punishing me with singlehood, life sucks

[@rosem.3533]

God is not punishing you. He is giving the opportunity to get to know Him better and therefore preparing you to be the husband you need to be for the Christian woman he has for you, which He is working on as well. Be patient and enjoy your Father's (ABBA/YAHWEH ) company. Rejoice in the fact that He wants you in a successful relationship. ☺

[@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger]

Here is a video called "Is God punishing me with singleness?" kzbin.info/www/bejne/qKaTiGWBrrCZb8U

[@sundance8623]

My friends have a girlfriend and I haven't had one in years and I get hair pulling frustrated, heart twist confusion on "why me", and even occasional blasphamy. I'm not happy, forgive me.

[@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger]

Sun Dance, I can understand the confusion and frustration brother. I pray you find the contentment only Christ can offer and i pray you get blessed with a godly relationship one day.

[@sundance8623]

Robin Kirves quarter of a century

[@guadalupeeg5034]

People need to have friends, many friends, go out with everyone! If you connect, really connect with someone, enough to want to be exclusive, then date this person exclusively to get to know them on many levels. If they are not for you, then end the relationship. Simple. Christians complicate things too much. The purpose of dating should not be marriage, it should be "getting to know if the person is a good fit for YOU", for marriage.

[@EricSmyth2Christ]

No flex but I could probably live with my girlfriend and not even kiss her

[@1kwchamber]

this video was great till you opened your mouth