Is The Effort Worth It? - Caring for the Caregiver

[@WikkidVyxen]

I became a recluse around 2012. I lived in my darkened bedroom for 3 years. My mom's cancer came back in 2015, so I had to rejoin the living, to take care of her. She passed on Nov 13th, 2018. I really wanted to return to my bedroom, but I fought it. To this day, I have to make myself do this, or do that. I know exactly where you're coming from, Val. Hugs to you.

[@Shaping_Serenity]

I’m sorry for the loss of your mom. I’m glad you have been able to push yourself not go back to staying in your room all of the time. 💕

[@WikkidVyxen]

@@Shaping_SerenityI still wake up every morning expecting a text message, telling me what she needs done that day. It's not an easy thing sometimes, is it? I too am glad that you've found ways to cope. I am going to dm you my number on IG. IF you EVER need an ear or a shoulder, I'm here for you, regardless of the time of day or night. It's never to late or too early, I'll hear my phone and respond/answer.

[@amypinter5670]

Yes!!! I have this and it’s so lonely at times! Social media makes my anxiety and depression worse because I feel like everyone else is out and about doing and going everywhere having a blast! My happy place is at home in my safe place too! It’s really not healthy but I wish I could hibernate and stay there too. I recently just accepted a teaching position and will have to put myself out there in a big way. I’ve been home for 6 years taking a hiatus from teaching. You are very right that it’s healthy to get out and go but it’s very hard!!! Thank you so much for sharing this! I honestly thought I was the only one!! I truly appreciate it! I feel awkward a lot too! Thank you!

[@tammy5590]

You have described more people than you really think. Me I am a bipolar and I have to literally have to make myself get out or I would never leave home and one big perk for me during Covid is I even got to do my drs; visit via zoom. I was like yeah boy this is awesome. And so for almost 2 years I did not go anywhere and I seen what a toll it took on me once I did start going back out.So whatever you do KEEP pushing yourself to go and do even if it's just every other week. Because you will end up in a really dark place if you are not care. And thank you for answering one of my questions I had wondered about for years. You are a great mother and you have proven that over and over again for 35 years. Much love and prayers for you all.

[@Turtle.D]

This video made total sense! For the past year I developed travel anxiety due to having a heat stroke in middle of Gatlinburg TN last summer ,I couldn't get to a cool spot or bathroom and ahhh it was just awful so now going places and planning for travel has given me really bad anxiety and panic attacks to where a 8min trip takes me 45mins to a hour. I have to pull over so many times and has to be a bathroom on my travel route 😩 it makes life he77 so I've been staying home alone more in my safe space. So I totally understand ..also seen since December when we had covid it got way worse . Like to point my Dr se to me for heart monitors ,lots of tests all to come back to its just your anxiety. I've struggled with anxiety for over 20years and THIS has been nothing like what I've experienced this past year .it's almost like I'm dying or thinking I'm on the verge of it . Thank u so much for sharing these videos with all of us,sharing your life 💗 with thousands is hard . So just wanted to say thank you for allowing us all a place in your family.

[@cherimccormick4343]

I totally feel and know what you’re talking about. I too suffer with depression and am in renal failure. My safe place and my happy place is home. I too have made plans and canceled them, and then feel guilty. I know it’s worth it, but I find it so hard to push and do it! Thanks for sharing that you also feel this way. Sometimes I do feel like I’m the only one too. You’ve inspired me to try to push and do it anyway because I do always have a good time. I admire your strength Val, and thanks for sharing 🥰

[@catchyname5403]

I not only understand what you’re saying but I live it. If I didn’t force myself to go out or have to leave my safe place I wouldn’t. I dread getting ready to go out and the pain it causes. I usually enjoy myself when I go somewhere but I often opt out if I can because the stress and pain is not worth it all the time. Honestly, if I didn’t have my child and grands I’d stay home more than anything. Over stimulation, chronic pain and anxiety is something I fight daily. You are not alone Val and I thank you for sharing. 🌻💚 Edit: typos

[@randomroz545]

You are so relatable and explain things in a way people really understand, that's why you're so appreciated and followed! I find it easier to make the efforts when it's stuff for the kids. The answer is yes- it is worth it! Things aren't always fun or easy but you are living and doing and participating beyond the comfort levels. And then it makes you appreciate your home and comforts even more. People need breaks from their safe zones too if that makes sense. Tucking in all the time isn't healthy either. It's finding the balance. And even though you, I, others struggle with the balances we're doing it!! Keep that chin up, Val!! You're continually making it happen impressing and inspiring and relating and sharing and caring along the way!

[@susanmalak4945]

Hey Val, first thank you for being so transparent that I can relate. Your words are something I’ve wanted to say to an extent …but I don’t give myself the time to think of myself in a gracious way as you do for yourself and for sure others. One of my differences, I like to leave home and explore see things…etc, also, because when I return it’s so comforting to be back to familiar surroundings. But I don’t like to take the time to think deep as it seems you do…which in my mind is super important to know and accept who we are. All and all…getting out is healthy and so is staying home in a quiet place. God bless you!

[@rowenabeatty804]

I can relate to many of the things you mentioned. Some days it is more of a battle to get going than others. Some times it seems worth it to go out, and other times are disasters. The reality for me is that as a mom with a beautiful 39 year daughter with Autism/IDD, I am always in planning mode for her activities or lack thereof. Just like you and Jess, my daughter does better with structure and a schedule. For myself, I almost always feel better if I am on my own, if I get of the house a little. At times, a simple 20 minute walk with my dog, just soothes my soul. Love to you and Jess!

[@kristinasnider3139]

You sound very normal to me Val. I am very much the same, albeit somd different reasons. Medically for myself, not a care giver of another. But I bemoan and put off even the smallest of errands for not wanting to leave the house sometimes. Any rare social or family events now will give me anxiety for the entire time leading up to them. BUT 100% of the time, they are ALWAYS worth it no matter what. Every single errand or event I finally push thru and do...after I wonder to myself...WHAT THE HECK was I so worked up about? That was so easy and it was so worth and I'm so glad I did it. Why can't I just remember that feeling and not be so apprehensive for the next outing? 😫 but nope! I still get myself worked up! It's a waste of energy honestly for me. Grrr

[@taunyaclarke8019]

I traveled for work for almost ten years and do enjoy going places and doing new things but I think most people have some anxiety and a tendency to want to just stay home struggle. I am not a caregiver but struggle for some of the same reasons. I can be very shy/quiet in large groups and also struggle with anxiety/depression. Most people don’t see it on the outside as It is more an internal struggle and I appear very laid back and calm to others. I can be social but being an introvert I only want to socialize for brief periods of time…then I need to go back to my safe space to recharge and have my alone time. It’s a constant struggle though between a healthy amount of alone time and forcing myself out the door when it gets to the point of being unhealthy. It’s sooo easy to talk myself out of plans! It is worth the struggle and I usually am fine once I get there. Thanks for sharing with us. I think you said it all perfectly!

[@suzisteese3846]

Val, I can relate! I have RA, Lupus, and Sjogrens. I’m 63. Vacations and trips aren’t as easy as they used to be, we adopted my grandchildren at birth. They are 14 and 17. I try to keep pushing forward where they have normal teenage experiences, but lord I get tired! You’re doing a great job! I also sit and contemplate as often as possible! I love watching you videos!

[@amelton1620]

Your AWESOME and I think u explained it wonderfully!!! I have suffered with anxiety and depression since right after my son was born. He’s 25 now. It’s been an extremely LONG road I NEVER wanted to leave my house during the worst of it. I kept all my loved ones at a distance because of it. With 3 different prescriptions later after meeting with my psychiatrist 8 years ago and 2 appointments into our appointments he got me straightened out with the right meds. He was a God send. I can now go out and live life like I wanted to all along. You can’t put a price on that feeling. Much love and prayers for you and your family ❤️

[@rhodellacoleman9111]

I too have to make myself leave my home, even for short periods such as church service. My home and backyard is my Happy place. I would love to travel if I didn’t have to travel. I am a terrible back seat driver. Can’t get ‘there’ quick enough. Covid didn’t take a thing away from me. I finally had a reason not to leave the house! You are quite an inspiration. I appreciate all your candidness. I love to watch you all! Take care of yourself and God bless you!

[@Shaping_Serenity]

Oh, Rhodella, I bet if you asked Hannah she'd be quick to tell you that I've also evolved into a terrible backseat driver. 😂

[@teshadb]

I relate 💯. I always have to force myself to do things when someone asks me to hang out and I never used to be that way when I was say in my twenties. It’s been since I have gotten older. I like my home it comforts me I like being with my husband and dogs. I have anxiety now apparently, diagnosed not that long ago. Working 100% remote has helped a lot with some of my anxiety. I completely dread the beginning and end of trips. The preparing packing and then coming home and unpacking as well. A big anxiety for me is leaving my dogs with a sitter I am super over the top of how my dogs are while I am away. Lol but at the same Time there is so much in life to experience I force myself to push through. It kind of got worse for me this past September my 41 yr old brother died of COVID. It’s absolutely destroyed me and completely changed my outlook on many things. I have a fear now of everyone I know dying and leaving me all Alone. It’s only me and my parents as the immediate family. I know once they pass I am it and that’s terrifying. I worry terribly when other family or friends have to travel or take a trip I am afraid something bad will happen. I also don’t feel safe in this world we are living in now. It’s insane I feel like. BUT, on days there are things that I want to do but have anxiety about I say to myself all the time my brother can’t do this anymore, he doesn’t get to experience this I wanna do this for him. It helps me get over the fears. I have learned life is precious and short and can be taken at any moment. I have never experienced a loss like this so I never really understood until it happened to me unfortunately. Everyone’s loss is such a personal thing no one will be able to really relate. I am so glad you push through for the experiences and the priceless memories with your family. ❤️

[@heidiely3243]

Thank you for doing this video. I don't share the same circumstances as you but I can relate to some of your experiences that you've mentioned here. I have multiple health issues and experience the dread of getting ready and being able to go out. I too cancel plans. I have to be afforded the consideration and the compassion and understanding to do so or I don't make plans in the first place. While I have restrictions on how much I can do and for how long, I often have to force myself to get out to do things that are required. I am one who understands the struggle. It's nice to know I'm not alone in this. If it helps to motivate you to keep challenging yourself, remind yourself that you have the luxury of your legs and feet and the ability to go places and do stuff without assistance. I know, even with my limitations, it could be worse and it makes me try harder. However, that doesn't mean that it's not okay to call it and give yourself permission to say 'no' and stay home and rest. The autoimmune stuff is a real bugger and it just wipes us out and we need to rest. I find myself having anxiety too. If I travel, I'd be too worried about what is going on at home and feel guilty about not being there. I feel like I never enjoy traveling as much as I enjoy being at home. I'm very limited on travel but if and when I do, it's got to be short trips just for a couple days or so. Otherwise, it's not fun..and lately I'm not able to go anywhere. I'm glad you're getting out when you can. Hard to hit that reset button sometimes. Thank you for sharing your story.

[@ahutton9821]

I'm with you. Staying in my comfort zone is much easier than venturing out to be in the world that's not always comfortable to be in. You feel like the odd-man-out because there are so many things that other people are just not having to deal with. It's like being on a parallel path, but it's not the path most people are on. Anxiety and depression make it even more difficult to do much when you don't feel like yourself, going out takes a lot of effort. Finding the motivation to get it started is hard to do a lot of the time. Getting up is the hardest part of my day, even with appropriate meds and treatment. Going as group, even family, is still having to deal with the group dynamic that is out if everyones routine. Sometimes vacation isn't as relaxing because we're out of our routine. Everything involves planning and a schedule that we wouldn't usually be doing because we're away from home. Unfamiliar places, sleeping rooms, where to eat, using facilities that aren't the same setup as home. It's having to learn everything for a different place. Getting ready to go has its own stress of trying to pack everything you could possibly need while away. Having to do it for additional people adds more planning. Going as a group and dealing with the anxieties of being out routines and the reactions to that is hard. Going alone can make you feel guilty because you're not having to answer to all the things at home or you spend time not really relaxing because you're concerned about how things that are going at home when you're not there. A lot of parents and caregivers have a hard time with down time and just sitting still. They don't know what to do with themselves because they are so used to always having to do something all the time. They feel like they're somehow slacking off. I am blind and use a wheelchair full time. I don't look forward to the care involved with my cycles. They have been pretty bad since entering puberty. One solution to making it more manageable for me was going on hormones/birth control (which made the cycles much more manageable). My doctor had me take just hormones, no placebos for two months, and the third month take the placebos to have a cycle. It was so much easier only having to have a cycle every three months, four times a year, and almost non-existent compared to my previous experiences before pills. I'm the same age as you are, so I have the luxury of my age kicking in, no more worries at all now. I wrote a book for my response/comment. I can relate to the things you talked about today.

[@meganmyers4339]

I feel every bit of this! I have 4 girls and my youngest is autistic, for the first 2 years my home was in crisis mode bc nobody would help us as she presented differently. We went from an extremely social family to nothing cut off from the world. Not only is my child autistic she also has severe anxiety ocd phobias etc. So it made doing anything impossible. I am happy to say after years of fighting with the medical system we got an abundance of help and she's made such great strides BUT it has just became the norm not to leave the house and it causes me so much anxiety to go anywhere that it's so hard to do things for a long period of time...its almost like a ptsd type of thing. However, my mom guilt has really set in lately for everything we did with the older ones and I don't want my children to not have good memories growing up. So we are starting to venture out more and more & doing small getaways. You hit the nail on the head that when things are the way they are at home its hard leave your safe space 😪 your videos have truly helped me so much!

[@sherrieh2062]

You said that so eloquently…I totally get it and have the exact same feelings about making plans and following through! It’s so much easier to stay in my safe spot and I mostly do just that…. BUT in the long run, it has become a bad habit and I NEVER end up making plans and following through. It makes me feel REALLY BAD about myself and my life…because life is a journey, not a destination. What do we have to look back on if we give in to our travel anxiety…or any social anxiety? Absolutely nothing. While it may make you feel anxious in the moment, don’t give up doing what you’re doing. It is rewarding for Jess, Hannah and when you see how much it matters to them, it will be rewarding for you looking back on it all! Once you give in to your safe place, you will keep giving in. You’re a fantastic momma and you are creating wonderful memories for your family! You are conquering your anxiety and fears by not giving in to them! Love and hugs to all of you! Thanks for your honesty…so many of us can relate!

[@karenchowning9975]

Oh my goodness! I can so much feel everything you are saying. I thought it was just me. I have 3 young adults. My oldest 27 now has adhd, anxiety, and hydrocephalus communicating. ( so no shunt) I make plans to go out but then I just can’t get excited, or my anxiety starts going through the roof the closer the day becomes. I say I don’t want to go, or my favorite “I don’t deserve to go, Please go on and have a good time for me. Then my kids get upset. “Oh mom, you always do this, just come on it will be ok) and it usually is but if one little thing happens then I always say - see if y’all would have let me stay home y’all could be having a good time without me. But it’s a mom thing. I adore your family and praise you for all working together for the good of not only Jessica but for everyone. Love the videos.

[@juliehendrickson8493]

I know exactly what you're talking about. I'm not good at talking with people that I'm not familiar with & always feel inferior to anyone that I'm with. We had a lake place for several years & a lot of times towards the end of our time there both my husband would look at each other & say do you really want to go this weekend or rather stay home. A lot of times we would end up staying home. We are very comfortable there. So I get it for sure!!!! ❤️

[@aprilknox7547]

Thank you so very much for this video❤️ I can totally relate & I think it is totally normal to feel this way. Once I am ready & out of the house, I am usually ok. However the getting ready & anticipation of leaving to get there, can be difficult. I also struggle with an autoimmune disorder, which can leave me feeling sick & exhausted. So that makes leaving the house, going on vacation, etc., that much more difficult. Love to you, Val❤️

[@mothermarie6057]

I relate very much. All I know from my own path is that if you give in to the just staying home in your comfort zone, you can get sick and a whole other version of depression that I hope I never ever get in again. So to me, I agree, it’s definitely always worth it to make all the efforts to get out there. Love you always Mama Val- 🥰🙏♥️

[@marshaferguson3636]

I can totally understand, I have mild agoraphobia and find my home such a comfort and safe place. It can only be to the store or a restaurant, but it is tough, an airplane is so rough. I would love to be able to work from home someday, I have to talk myself into going to work every day, I now work with my husband and that helps a lot. I always feel if I leave the house something will happen to me, I will fall ill. If I/we get into traffic especially on freeways, my husband can see the anxiety take over from my body language and will talk to me to keep me calm. I never told anyone about it, until this year when I told my best friend and then she admitted she has the same anxiety! we now help and encourage each other.

[@Shaping_Serenity]

I’m glad you have each other. It always helps to have someone to relate to and talk about it with them.

[@lifes_a_journey]

I don't have a child with special needs. My two kids are now grown and both recently joined the Military and one in College as well. I'm alone now at home and I find it VERY hard leaving my home, my comfort zone. Although I am very lonely and miss them soo much, I also enjoy my time alone and it's really the only place I want to be. Idk if that makes sense. I have always struggled with depression, ADHD and now anxiety I'm learning. I feel like I don't fit in in the world, so it is an effort to leave and be social. You aren't alone. I applaud you for getting out as much as you do. I've even resorted the Amazon for most things because of the struggle t leave my nest. Much love ❤️

[@gigistrailsandtales7203]

Oh Val!!!!! I can relate so much! I’ve found the past few years particularly challenging. I have a very small circle because my life is so very different than most others.I do make myself do things. But it’s hard. We are glamping right now….it’s the one thing my son enjoys, but getting ready is a challenge…who our neighbours are can be a challenge once we get here…we need to pack very specific things, such as his fan because he can’t sleep without it…I never truly relax while we are out. Home is a safe space….but I can easily get into a rut. I have anxiety and depression as well…the older I get, the more I want to be home. I get you! Thank you for sharing. You are not alone!

[@carifuller5371]

Val, I listened to your video and I have a few observations. I believe that what you are feeling happen to a lot of us. We camp a lot and for weeks at a time but it is always comforting to me to come home. I think Covid has added to so many people who just don’t want to go out then o think age comes into play. My husband always says that we are comfortable in our bagel. Now, I am speaking about typical individuals but you have to add in the fact that you are having to worry about getting another individual with special needs ready to go. That adds in more anxiety and worry. All in all, I know that you are not alone and to some extent these feelings are out of our control. I hope I am making sense but I commend you for making the effort. I always say I want to try because I don’t want to have any regrets. 🥰

[@Crankycraftcookingandgrace]

It’s tough. For me. Covid did not help. I was happy staying home for 3 days and then classified as an essential employee. So many of my friends stayed home. Not me. Running to courts where rules change everyday. Off to the jail. Everyone had it. Limiter precautions. So today I am trying to be better. But it’s hard. I love to read a can cook. Good inside activities. Add in the heat and the fact that at least one person gets shots and killed in the city every night and I am content to stay home. Go to the residents activity and call it a day. WTS. I have trails 3/5 days a week. So I have to get out. But I cherish my dont have to do anything but read. Goto the pool. Cook a great meal and ride my bike. Please remember to be kind to yourself and take time for yourself. Peace

[@jacquelinetilley6400]

Omgoodness, yessssss. To all of this vlog. I feel the anxiety, the dred. Getting ready to go. Makng sure I'm ready for everything. Medication, extra clothes, bug spray, sunscreen, noise canceling headphones, extra bag chairs, toy cars, sticker books, I need to over pack to consider others in the family don't feel left out. Calming everyone else's fears, while quietly dealing with my own. Budget budget budget. It is exhausting. And then yes a celebration that I actually followed through with going out with my family. I didn't cancel because of chance of rain, or back pain, or budget issues. The pictures that prove there were smiles and good memories. My daughters delight, my sons wonderment. My husband saying, I'm glad the kids are having a good time. Yes I get it. Thank you for sharing!

[@stephaniethompson5256]

Val, we could be best friends! I live what you live; autoimmune, depression, anxiety, among other health issues and special needs kidult who is well on his way to 22 but is really a 14-16 year old if that at times. The guilt when doing things is worse now since my husband died. I always felt like if I was away, he was still there and that gave a sense of comfort. I too agree to things and end up cancelling or feeling like I don't belong. Thank you for sharing that we are not alone, others share our struggles.

[@sharonfajardo7873]

You are not alone. I also suffer from anxiety and travel is a big trigger. You should be so proud of yourself that you push outside your comfort zone. I try to but yes it is easy to sometimes break plans because you just can’t. Home is our cocoon. I imagine Covid has set people back in this regard as well! I know for me it’s given me an excuse to be home more. Working from home etc. Anxiety depression etc aren’t easy but your not giving in is admirable!!

[@caraevans2609]

Truth be told - I live in a rehab facility and I let believe that this is because of my physical disability. I use a manual wheelchair to get around and I can honestly tell you that my physical limitations is nothing in comparison to my mental struggles - anxiety, agoraphobia and depression. I literally just came back in my room from practicing sitting out by the desk. I know exactly how it feels. ❤️

[@kellithiede1924]

Thank you, for sharing this perspective and story. I, too, deal with much of what you do. You, always, impress me with your strength, focus, patience and perseverance. Please know that you are, always, in my thoughts and prayers. Ms. Jess is so fortunate to have you as a Mother.❤️🙏🏻😘

[@deniseperez9200]

I certainly admire u. You are a very loving, caring, gracious, understanding, patient Mom. Jesse loves being with u and bad daddy. She has total trust in both of u. U do have to take care of yourself though. WITHOUT any guilt. Meet a friend, do a pedicure, a massage, talk to a professional (if u feel u need too) u have alot on ur shoulder's. You r awesome.

[@tracythorsen6112]

I am kind of glad to hear there is someone out there who is living with the same struggles I have. At the same time I am sorry you have the same struggles I have. I don't actually k ow where it started. I guess I have always been sort of a home body. When I go on a trip I can't wait to get back home. If I plan a trip I dread it when it gets close. I want to go somewhere alone for the peace but can't make myself travel alone. I have been know to drive to another town to go to the mall, sit I. The car for half an hour trying to make myself go in only to turn around and come back home. Not only does what you say make since but I too am living that life. Oh and it doesn't help that my daughter starts asking on vacation to go to the minute we get to where we are going and continues until we are home.

[@teribond1114]

Val, you summed up my thoughts to a T. I know it's 'healthy' to get out, visit, venture, etc. but I am so much happier at home in my space. I too struggle with all that's involved with traveling or something as simple and joyful as driving an hour to see my grandkids. I'm a creature of routine and habit. I don't like living out of a suitcase and packing and unpacking is dreadful for me. I rarely tell anyone how much of a chore it is because I feel most people enjoy getting away and couldn't relate to the stress and anxiety leaving my home causes. It's little things like hoping my animals are being cared for or that my plants are being tended to. I could go on and on about petty stuff I don't feel others let bother them... but maybe they do. Not that I wish for anyone else to struggle with issues like that but it was nice to know I'm not in the rather be home mentality alone! Thank you for sharing your thoughts, you spoke for me too. I also want to thank you for sharing your day to day life. I love your calm demeanor, it's relaxing. You speak to Jess like you would anyone else. No baby talk and you encourage her to think things out on her own. Keep up the good work!

[@suemartinez715]

You voiced how so many of us feel. I respect your open honesty. After being a fully involved mother to four,the youngest was challenging...I lost who I was. Tried being the best I could be for them because their father was living with us,but not involved. My youngest seemed to be a disappointment to him because of his limitations. Spina Bifida aculta and aspergers made my son's life more complicated, but I know he felt loved. His social behaviors were an embarrassment to his older brother. That made involving ourselves with public more stressful. Time has passed. Life has gone on. All four kiddos are doing great. Their dad left...whew! But now, as my life is more peaceful, I well more at ease while I am by myself. Really feeling like I am so different that most people. A total social misfit. One step in front of the other...out of the fog

[@Shaping_Serenity]

❤

[@juliewheeler2139]

Oh my God Val, you described me! I am such a homebody that I have to force myself to go out and do stuff. I have three sisters that live about an hour away for me that are always asking me to come to visit. I always feel bad that I don’t make more of an effort. When I do go I enjoy my visit and I’m glad I went but it is so hard for me to get up and go. I also suffer from anxiety and depression. And I completely understand what you’re saying. Thanks for sharing.

[@nfij]

You are not alone! Though my struggles may be different from yours, I find that some of the challenges that I live with as a single mom in an affluent area where people have money and a spouse to support them, I also feel that no one in my circle would be able to relate to my situation and the things I've been through. For this reason, I avoid talking about the details of my life with co-workers and church friends. I think when you go through hard things, it's easy to self-isolate, where you don't have to try to explain yourself or feel someone's pity. My home is my safe space and I like my own company. However, it can be lonely too. So, I get it!! I do like to go out and do things and be around people, and I'm often glad when I do, but it can be exhausting. There's nothing wrong with it, that's just the way we are. Much love to you and Jess!

[@Shaping_Serenity]

❤

[@saskia964]

I feel so much better knowing I’m in excellent company with my own ‘is it worth it?’ chronic fussing. Thank you Val! Thank you all who commented! 💜

[@marywilliamson1260]

Proud of you and your struggles Val.. I think we all have those issues..on some level..and life situations are so stressful at times. I feel like its worth it for you because you must live your life even with the issues associated with Jess's challenges. The more you can get away on your own..like when you visited your son...or maybe--- take a girls weekend and so do a spa getaway whatever...Jess needs to understand you have a life as well. which ultimately helps her life. That alone time out by yourself and or with friends will rejuvenate your soul, give you a sounding board that will help as you continue to navigate through your life's journey, purpose, and commitments.

[@Shaping_Serenity]

Thank you ❤

[@bonniebrown6960]

Val, I absolutely understand what you are talking about. I have been like that most of my life. My daughter and I were talking about people that are introverts. I told her I am like that. I remember several years ago I told my grandfather, I have tried fitting in this world, but I just don't. I'm not wealthy, I'm not dirt poor. I was raised to not hurt people's feelings. Usually I get my feelings hurt, so from keeping that from happening I just rather stay home. I worked hard from the time I was a teenager until about 6 years ago. My mom got sick and I had to take care of her. I didn't plan on getting sick myself. The past couple years it's been really hard to go visit our son who lives in FL. I have never been on a real vacation where I got to do what I wanted to do. My husband doesn't like to go anywhere with me and I don't want to go by myself. It is depressing and stressful. So I stay home and I read my Bible and I love watching different KZbin videos. Val, you were talking about Jessica loves to go places. My mom has always been like that too. She wants me to ride her around or take her places, but it has gotten so hard now that she's in a wheelchair. She has lost both of her legs now. Blind in her right eye. She doesn't want to where depends, but she has to when I take her to her doctor's, bc she is so incontinent. She doesn't have control of her bladder or her bowels. It's not like cleaning up a child. It's so hard to make her understand that life has changed and I can't take her to the places she wants to go to. It definitely has been a challenge. I have sister and her 3 grown son's that live with my mom, but they do not help. They just make the situation worse. Anyway, I can totally relate to what you are saying. I still enjoy all of your video's and I love ya'll bunches. 💕

[@Shaping_Serenity]

💕

[@jeannehall3226]

I admire you for going out. Since my husband died 5 years ago, I rarely go out. I know it would be good for you.

[@baddaddy2826]

Hi Jeanne. I'm sorry for your loss of your husband.

[@amymcewen4145]

I met u at the Dr the other day it brightened my day so much ❤️ I completely relate to everything you said. I spend so much time feeling guilty for not doing a lot outside our home. Last summer we went to the beach and by day 3 I just had to pack up and leave early. I had booked for 7. We tried again a few months ago and only booked 2 nights and it wasn’t as overwhelming. It’s a blessing to know I’m not the only one that struggles with this. Thank you for sharing 🙏

[@Shaping_Serenity]

It was so nice meeting you! I'm glad you said hello!

[@cheerieday1]

Oh yes, there a lot of mothers that feel the same exact way. You have pack for everybody and remember everything we need to take with us. My husband would forget his head if it wasn’t attached Then you hear morning and groaning. No one appreciates me until we are back home. Sometimes it is 2 or 3 days before I unpack. Yes, I do say is it worth it.!

[@melissadewitt3095]

Oh my gosh totally makes 💯 sense. Mom has lived with us for 20 years and she has bipolar an epilepsy. My 21-year-old has high functioning autism. Our anniversary is on the 29th and my husband and I are going for an overnight trip. So much planning, time, and effort goes in to getting everything situated for them both. Add the 2 dogs and it can be overwhelming. Thank goodness my 18 year old can help me but he works during the day. Mom is nocturnal and Caleb will sneak out for a walk and has to have it done due to his OCD so he has to be watched. When and if we ever go anywhere as a family SO many foods, gadgets, and routine items have to be taken with us. Not many understand about the meltdowns and stares so being home is our safe haven as well. Thanks for sharing! I get it!!! However, the smiles and memories are priceless!

[@Renita394]

I can so relate. 🤦🏻‍♀️ It’s all part of anxiety. Everything you have said, sadly I go through. On top of that, I have packing anxiety. So I overthink and overpack for every trip. I try to prepare for all the “what if’s”. First, thank you for being open and sharing. It does help to know you aren’t the only one. I do try to go and enjoy with my family, but always excited when it’s time to go home. I haven’t always been this way. I was a social butterfly until my son passed away in December of 2014. My life changed drastically. My home is my safe place as well. But staying shut in has its own consequences. So let’s press on. One day at a time. 💕 ~ Renita

[@Shaping_Serenity]

I'm so sorry for your loss. ❤ Yes, one day at a time.

[@baddaddy2826]

Hi Nancy. I'm sorry for your loss of your son.

[@bobbiemaser6851]

Often times I get so overwhelmed with even the daily tasks that I like to just shut down in my quiet space. But I also understand that I need to step out and be with people and do things. Yes it ends up being fun but when you have to care for another it gets hard. And I by no means am in your situation as a mom. God bless you and take a deep breath and push on !!

[@gamom1]

Val everything you explained in this video is how my anxiety is…about travel and how I would love to sit in my room which is my comfort zone…I understand too if I don’t force myself I’ll just be a recluse in my room which I know isn’t healthy: Yes I am like that so many times I’ve canceled plans. Sadly my anxiety sometimes is so bad I have to make my husband turn around halfway into our trip..I feel guilty because my daughter and husband miss out on a vacation or just a day away..but for me I’m ok doing things that are within an hour of my home, but vacation away is extremely hard ..the packing and nervous about being in the car I can go on and on..I completely understand exactly your feelings because I experience the same things and struggle with everything except the autoimmune I don’t have.

[@debrahardman6088]

I would always love to hibernate in my safe space but push myself to get out of my comfort zone. But, what’s strange is I love people.

[@jlcollins7673]

I am absolutely a homebody....who is perfectly ok with never doing anything. I am notorious for saying yes to plans and never following through. I'll make up whatever excuse I gotta use. I totally understand that you see it as a victory when you do stuff and go places....because I feel like that every time I do ANYTHING.

[@lovekkmom2]

You are not alone, and it makes perfect sense, especially to those of us that also live with depression and anxiety. It’s one day at a time and sometimes one hour at a time. Sending you so much love, Val! ♥️

[@sharaleeduncan6429]

,I think you explained it so good, you want to go but it’s just too hard but you don’t want to miss out either. I know a lot I don’t wanna let others down either. I have anxiety and depression and as I’ve said before my daughter and her son we all live together and my grandson is autistic and I definitely don’t wanna let him down .he’s like come on grandma let’s go. I also have an auto immune disease and I’m 70 years old but I also know that as you said it is worth it !After I do get out and do the stuff I come home and sleep for about three days lol but after the rest it’s like I probably won’t do that next time but I’m so glad that I did it this time but during the time I’m like I’m tired I just wanna go home. Then the next time comes I go through the same thing it’s hard getting ready always problems tired of riding and Want to go to my safe place home. After it’s all over I am so glad I wentt and I talk about how much fun I had even with the hard times I can laugh about later lol but sometimes during that it’s like this is hard I just wanna go home. I so understand I and admire you. For me some of the hardest times is when I get wanting to go somewhere and say let’s go next week. And as you know with autoimmune diseases they can hit at any time. So I get everyone excited cause I wanna go and then I can’t make it. So now I’ve got where it’s more of a spur of the moment if I’m feeling good that day it’s like do we wanna try this but then we have to hurry and pack everything which wears me out makes me tired lol. But in the end to see all of us together and having fun it is worth it making the memories. And I love your channel of going through things that’s my motto I’m not always gonna be here. So far I am I’m gonna make memories and have fun. Thank you for sharing how you feel I’m sharing your family with us it helps me and my daughter so much.

[@daniellepiersall3407]

I have to remind myself it’s worth it. I agree home is a safe space and I do not like to leave it. I know exactly how you feel. My son may be on the spectrum and also suffers from epilepsy. We are having brain surgery this October in Boston. It’s a lonely road and it looks like you have a wonderful village that help out. We just hired our first respite person and went out alone for the first time in forever for a couple hours. Neither my husband and I knew what to do with ourselves for that amount of time. Self care is important and not selfish, I have to remind myself of that more often than not.

[@Shaping_Serenity]

❤

[@juliemineau9880]

I push too because the longer I give in stress and axiety,, the harder it gets to overcome.

[@susanglasser6152]

U make since! Same here! Keep being a good mom..& God Bless U & Family ...Always! Amen!🙌🥰✌️🙏❤️🤗

[@cecilymcbroom4902]

Though it's extremely difficult, IT IS worth it because of the joy and compassion you bring to others just by showing up. You are a ray of sunshine. It's your gift to the universe 🎁 But be at peace with yourself when you need time alone. Choosing solitude over anxiety for yourself on occasion is also WORTH IT. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings with us.

[@nadinecartwright1979]

Thank you for this. I really needed to hear this message. The depression and anxiety and feeling apart from others in social situations is real. The packing and travel anxiety are real. I have found that limiting vacations to a shorter duration has helped with some of the barriers....just going to a daytime event feels like victoy.

[@juneburke7545]

I still like to travel and go places but as we get older (70s), I find it harder to go. About 15 years ago, I found myself in a caretaker role for my aging, sick mother who was in another state. It took a huge toll on me caring for my mom and step dad. I was still working as a high school educator, we had a college student still at home, & we were pastoring a church. Needless to say, it was a very difficult year. I remember one day while I was in the grocery store picking up groceries for quick meals to feed my stepfather and myself while I went back-and-forth to the hospital, I was literally talking to myself out loud! I thought it was just my mind thought, but I literally was saying over and over again and the grocery store, “I just want to go home, I just want to go home.” My mom eventually improved after a year, and our lives slowed down a bit until I had to move both of them closer to me so I could survive. My heart goes out to you as you go on these adventures with your family and Jess. I know it is not easy, but I find it encouraging. I’ve never had to care for a child, or an adult child, but I have been the caretaker of three senior adults for many years until they passed. It just makes for some very long days

[@beverlymcquiston7176]

I can always talk myself out of going somewhere or doing something. I feel like I am awkward and I hate packing and I get anxious and worry about nothing. I go because I want to make memories and because people are counting on me and looking forward to me going. I always have a good time and think what was the fuss about and tell myself to smarten up but it's the same drill every time. I feel it gets easier though as I do it more and now I care less about if I don't pack the right stuff and if I say something dumb. Life is too short to worry about that kind of stuff but I still do...

[@deborahhessary7855]

I can totally relate.

[@juliehendrickson8493]

Me too!!! Describes me to a tee.

[@JoeysWorld-ps8tq]

I'm autistic and love being in my comfort zone, too. My bedroom, my self-isolation just to read, play with my dolls, chat with friends, write in my Journal, sleep, daydream, or play on my computer, brings me comfort, and I spend a lot of my time in here. But what brings me the most anxiety about going out and doing things is my bladder, and if I can get to a bathroom in time, how long will I take in the bathroom, and how often will I need to go to the bathroom. It keeps me from enjoying myself while I'm out, and it makes me not want to go out much at all. I've had this problem for years and been checked out and given drugs for it, but nothing really has helped. I hate it, it makes me hate my body, but unfortunately, I've also learned to live with it. If/when I start going out with Debra, my respite carewoman, and she's gonna keep my butt busy, I will have to learn to relax and enjoy the experience and try not to worry so much about having to go to the bathroom. I'm excited about being with Debra, but I feel a bit anxious about it, too, and I hope everything works out in my favor so I can have fun again because I actually did used to have a life.

[@Shaping_Serenity]

I have personally known individuals with urgent bathroom issues that ended up defining their everyday life and often led to self-imposed isolation. It's something that only those who have lived with it can truly understand.

[@bethdueitt899]

You make it sound how a lot of us feel about things. Well said. Ty

[@michelledawe1152]

Val, thank you for making this video. I know exactly what you are talking about. I have struggled with this for years. My doctor told me it’s a form of agoraphobia mixed with social anxiety. I know for my self that I have to make it a priority to leave the house at least 3 times a week. My son is almost 9 he has autism. I have to get out of my comfort zone to better his life. You are definitely not alone!!! I think more people should talk about this. I have tried for years to explain this to family and friends but they don’t understand. Knowing I am not alone gives me hope. I will continue to work on this. Again thank you so very much for sharing this video. Hugs from Halifax Nova Scotia Canada 🇨🇦♥️🇺🇸

[@vickeywetzel1062]

My son is 14 and struggles going places or making decisions on the spot. He panicks so badly he don't go anywhere except to my moms house his grandmas, but when he says I'm ready to come home u have 15 minutes before he starts gasping for air, gets sweaty, his heart races like it's coming out of his chest. My husband does understand his anxiety at all he thinks oh he will be fine and I've had to tell him no to him it's utter pure hell and he don't know y he feels the way he feels. I think it got bad when he lost his older brother to a car accident after his brother said he would be right back. Now he don't like to go anywhere and he is for sure not gonna stay the night unless he has mom and dad both and can touch us both all night. My mom and I get it because we suffer from anxiety but our is totally different feeling then what he describes to us our seems like a baby situation compared to his. We r hoping once his other brother moves back across the street that he can help me with him and kinda get him to the point where he's more comfortable going places. As it stands right now it's okay to be away from dad I think cuz he was a truck driver and now is home but to be away from mom is a no go hes fine for a bit then it turns bad quickly. Usually when it's close to dark he says it's time to go home. He's fine if he's with me but if he's getting his grandma and him time she knows at dark it's a matter of time. I had to get him a phone cuz she was bound determined to make him deal with it all at once. Not knowing the full effect on him I said no that will only torture him then he may not even trust her to go over just for a bit. So we r gonna take our time and work him up to things and see if it helps I really don't won't him on meds I want him to learn how to deal with his feelings on his own. In hopes that he will somewhat out grow this one in time. Hope yall have a great day we get u here!

[@lindaburk4738]

I’m with you 100%. I feel sense I have gotten older it is a challenge do almost everything and I am one also that has to be pushed shove just to get me out of my house and I do agree when I’m home I’m comfortable I feel secure. Today for an example I went with my daughter to a couple of stores and we have been gone for approximately four hours and I didn’t mind going to be with her but my body and my mind was telling me I need to go home so yes I totally agree with everything you say you and I are just alike in many ways. I also have very high anxiety and depression have for years. So I’m with you girl.

[@gloriamcallister9638]

Val, I think I have just given up on life. The last 5 years have been nothing short of torture for me. My husband left me for another woman....completely out of the blue. And when I say he left me, I mean he told me he was leaving and he left......no therapy, no closure, just bam.....gone like it never happened.....never looked back Then came Covid. My previous husband of 21 years (my son's father) died of it in March 2020. My adult son who has always lived with me quit his job and now won't go back....and speaking of guilt....yes, I am the enabler. I live with that daily as well. The only family I have (outside of my son) is my 81 year old sister...and I live in fear of losing her. I have no hopes, no desires, no interests (except watching videos of your life) 🙂.... and my 2 puppy dogs. If it were up to me, I would never get out of bed. Is it worth it? I keep telling myself that yes; yes it is. I am 70 years old now, and I don't want to do anything that will keep me from getting to Heaven when my time comes. This is a very depressing post, and I know some will chastise me for it, but you asked.

[@saskia964]

Thank you for sharing. I’m sorry this is such a dark chapter in your life. This stranger from far away sends you good wishes.

[@Shaping_Serenity]

I did ask, and thank you for sharing your story. It does sound like you are living through some really tough times. Bravo to you for continuing to push through. I wouldn’t expect our good ones to chastise you for your story. In fact, I imagine someone will read it and identify and they will feel less alone.

[@pampriddy7659]

I have great respect and admiration for you for pushing through and keeping what seems to be a positive attitude. I’m just not that strong myself. May God continue to give you the strength to keep going and increase your will to overcome all the adversities and struggles you’ve been faced with. ♥️🛐♥️

[@tabathat5934]

I am sooo relieved that you are talking about this Ms Val...I have dealt with Anxiety and depression and PTSD for years...I have always said that people that doesn't have it,don't understand it..I don't talk about it..I keep it to myself but I will explain what I go thru..I am 50 yrs old,I live in a small country town..I had never been anywhere until 2016 I took my first vacation..I was scared to death...since then I have been on total 4 vacations...It was well worth it to me..but I was soo glad when I got home..Because the anxiety lifts..the panic lifts..once I get to where I'm going it lifts...I panic in traffic..the best way I can describe what I go thru is...have you ever seen the movie Final Destination..That is what happens in my mind..every bad scenario that could happen replays over and over and over in my mind...it is a Nightmare...I have always said People that don't have it,won't understand it..they think your crazy..but it is something that I go thru more so the older I got the worse it got...my safe place is my home...Something else that happens to me also is leading up to go somewhere..I start feeling real jittery on the inside..this is days before I leave...I get very nervous and anxious...I cannot drive on interstates...when I went on my 4 vacations someone else was driving because I can't do it...I have tried everything you can imagine to distract me while I'm in the car...it doesn't work...but Yes your right it is well worth it..I am sooo glad I got to go and see things that I've always wanted to visit and see...my favorite place is Loretta Lynns Ranch in Hurricane Mills...it is soooo peaceful and serene...it is Beautiful there in the mountains..the cabins there are beautiful...that is my favorite place and yes I've been there 3 times...I will go back..cause it is well worth it to me...I just want to say Thank You Ms Val for talking about it...I feel comfortable telling you my experience...God Bless

[@minimalisticautistic8583]

I recognize myself and my family in so much of what you’re describing. I agree it’s always worth it in retrospect. Warm greetings from Sweden!

[@samsam1313]

I 100 percent feel the same way as you. I hate going places where others don't understand my son. It stresses me out and him. Trips are physically and mentally exhausting. You are not along. Thank you for sharing. Because like you I feel like I'm the only one that feels this way.

[@donnagoetz5146]

I so understand, I’ve been diagnosed with depression, I suffer from terrible panic attacks. My safe place was always my home with my husband and family. My husband died suddenly 5 years ago. We were 57 years old. My world if flipped and I don’t know where I belong…depression and anxiety is horrible to live with..since I was a child

[@mimiw7051]

Val I completely know what you are talking about. I tell people I have to stay where my peace is. I have physical imitations, I suffer from anxiety and I also have an autoimmune disease. It's extremely difficult to get out and go. I also love my safe comfortable place. I used to push myself to go and do when my kids were small. I do get out occasionally now but not much. Just know you aren't alone in the struggle of wanting to just stay home in your comfortable happy space. 😊

[@mcdougalmichelle]

You have got to rest your self also. Meditate!! Go to a quiet place for one hour get still and be quiet. Then go to your best memories. Childhood, teen years, adult years,memories. At home you have overbearing stress sometimes. I’ve lived it. Try this. You are a warrior Queen honey! We follow because we also are warriors! Keep on trucking he n. You are such an inspiration ❤️

[@joellenblevins6351]

I totally get it. I am a bit on the flip side. Even though my home life isn't damaging I get so much anxiety from work home work home that I literally can have a healing by renting a room for the night to just escape and be alone...somehow the ONLY place I don't feel guilty. Well, for one night at least.

[@lestalote]

Yes…. The same…. Covid has given me a socially acceptable excuse to stay home as we are old and have health issues. Now I don’t ever want to go anywhere! On the guilt comments… I think most of us parents live with some degree of guilt always! You express yourself very well! When my expectations end up in the ditch….I tell myself we are making memories! And looking back over the decades of various mishaps etc, that is pretty accurate! You are awesome!

[@stefwhey]

As I’m sure with many others on here, you’ve described my life. A daily struggle but one that has to be pushed through. Once out the door life isn’t so bad but getting out is the process.

[@Shaping_Serenity]

Yes, it is! 🚪 ❤️

[@lorifoster2151]

Thank you for sharing! I don't have kids or dependants; It's just me and my cats ... but i really relate to this! I struggle so much to get myself to get out and go do things that i enjoy doing! Home is my safe space and i enjoy being home. I really struggle with anxiety-- social anxiety, anxiety about going somewhere I am not used to going... even if it is a new antique store i really want to check out, or (even just going to a different gas station to get gas or going a different route to a place i go daily... isn't that just silly?) I also have Hashimoto's.... so the chronic pain and fatigue make it difficult to get out. If i am having a day where i'm feeling good and have some energy and decide to go do something, then i have anxiety about whether i will be able to enjoy my outing , because sometimes i get to my destination (ie said antique store) and before i get halfway down the first aisle, I am exhausted and in pain and have to leave and go home. the other scenario is that i go and enjoy my outing, but then it takes me several days to recover. sometimes i avoid going and doing things because if fear of being out of commission the rest of the week. I used to make myself get out and go do something i enjoy one day a week...like going thrift shopping or antique shopping and going out to eat... I called it my Therapy Day. I need to start doing this again.... even if i end up having to cut it short or have 3 days of rest after. Anyway.... Thank you for sharing. This encourages me to make myself get out of my comfort zone more. I look forward every day to watching your daily vlog with Jess, Hannah, Marlow, Baddaddy, yourself and the dogs....how is your cat? How did he adjust to the move?

[@Shaping_Serenity]

I don't think it's silly. I think it's real. And I totally get you about the balance of getting out vs recovery from going out.

[@samiraapodaca7541]

What you are saying resonates with me as I struggle with ADHD general anxiety and social anxiety. No sooner did I graduate from high school in 2018 that anxiety heightened and I could barely even think about getting a job let alone volunteering without having a breakdown even if it ment working with animals in which I love. I'm still jobless but I volunteer at our local animal shelter and since then my anxiety has gotten better but when I first started I would secretly really hope they would cancel the off-site events just so I wouldn't have to go lol.😅 But in the end I think it is worth it especially in my situation.

[@marybishop1818]

You are not alone. I understand where your coming from. I too at times feel an awkwardness around others who aren't maybe dealing with some things my household is and I sometimes feel I don't add value to those conversations so it's easier to keep to myself in my safe space. I think it's good to go do things and I push myself as well.

[@dgoble3]

I am absolutely this way as well. It's definitely hard for some people to understand and if you have ever been questioned about why, that makes the issue even worse for me.

[@kathleenrobotnik528]

You are amazing Val, I watched my mother struggle same way and she never gave up .the struggles are tuff but so was she and you are blessed with a close family support as well . We all learn to take day by day and not be afraid to make time for one’s self

[@ashleighcalmestascier2160]

Yes my husband likes to stay home. That’s good you went on the trip.

[@genanwestmoland7238]

It’s well worth it on the good trips but I’ve had many trips and have learned that if We get started and it’s too much of a struggle then that’s my cue to wait and try again another time. I so get what your saying. My son is pretty much non verbal and his frustration comes from overwhelming anxiety more than the communication. He’s really good 95 percent of the time but that 5 percent makes me question my very existence. Thank goodness Jesus and I are good friends and I know that he chose me to be mom on purpose to steward my son well and to see the joy in disability. We are very happy!!

[@tabathat5934]

Omg I have felt this same way for years...I never went anywhere outside my home town until 2016 ...I have very bad anxiety...since 2016 I have been on 4 vacations...I understand 100% ...Thank You for sharing...I'm soo glad yall had a good time over all..Jess had fun on the river...God Bless

[@angelacolangelo8833]

Thank you for sharing. I know my depression make those little things so BIG!!

[@darlap4823]

I totally understand an relate I'd rather be home all alone with my pooch than to eat when I'm hungry

[@angelrohr6239]

118. I was in trouble, so I called to the Lord for help. The Lord answered and made me free. 6 The Lord is with me, so I will not be afraid. No one on earth can do anything to harm me. 7 The Lord is my helper.

[@SicoffLibralski]

You are so smart to push yourself to get out there no matter what. I have relatives, who don't even have a Jessica, who got into their 'comfort zone' and honestly, never left. They are miserable people because they know they are missing out. Part of their problem is laziness and part of it is 'why bother'. My grandmother spent 25 years on her couch. I find, if I myself avoid socializing, when I do do it, my anxiety of having to go get unreal. I force myself to eat in a restaurant alone a few time a year and just go. Perhaps, for you it would also be good to book a trip, just for you and maybe a friend for two weeks a year and get caregivers for your lovely Jessica. Take care...of yourself by, just go, don't say no.

[@ForTheLoveOfMike]

Thank you for sharing 💙 I completely understand.

[@laurenrichards3296]

I am so like this. It is always worth it, but I understand how hard it can be to get yourself out there. It is an effort, that I also hope to keep making!

[@vernadavis8929]

I have felt same way and my situation is different as I am not a mother of a disabled child but do like to stay home in my safe place so understand pushing myself and going out more last year and I feel better and I also think being a nurse during covid made it alot worse..I admire you for continuing to move on and travel when you can I definitely believe it helps your well being in the long run and your autoimmune deficiency..🥰❤

[@Java-D]

I completely understand and agree with you. I’d rather never leave home. It’s so much stress, anxiety, and extra work. But I do it for the kids and the grandkids. I also force myself to go so I don’t pass up the chance to make memories with my loved ones.

[@janetscott5252]

Vacation is work with family, 'ya often need a vacation to rest up from vacation! I'm alone now & I really love being home by myself! I get out but, home & solace is so relaxing.💕🙏💕 You're such a great person Val & I think your feelings are so very valid.

[@rebecawalters467]

Wow! You put into words how I feel most of the time...I kinda feel like on the outside looking in....everyone else is on a higher level than me and I just don't fit...kind of like everyone is playing a game and doing really well and I either can not play or wouldn't have clue what was going in if did. I have a highly stressful job I'm training for and believe me I don't think I will do it well but we will see..thank you for the video, I honestly did not know other people felt like that too

[@elainewhitelock5347]

I've been like this too since covid. So apprehensive.x

[@Rosemary-dn5vq]

Taking one day at a time, and not being too hard on myself if I don’t want to go, is how I try to deal with going places. Sometimes I need to psych myself up to go places, and sometimes the anticipation is worse than the reality. From what I can see, your all doing a great job ❤

[@Shaping_Serenity]

I agree. I think most of the time the anticipation is worse for me too.

[@pennytipton2135]

I totally agree with you!!! I’m bi-polar. Yes I feel like it’s worth it, but I still have a difficult time getting out of my house/comfort zone!!

[@brandiewebb6287]

Right there with you! My kiddo is only 13 but I fret over what our future looks like. I work full time and I know in 6 years I won't have that for myself and hopefully I will still be okay getting up and "going" after I don't need to.

[@56jrudy]

I feal the same way. A lot of he same that I deal with. I want to go places. But preparing dealing makes me want to just stay home. When we get there I feel stressed. When I get home I say why did I do this again. I don't really have a my space. I don't travel by myself. So I just carry on.

[@lorilinder6571]

Oh, I so completely understand what you are saying. I do not talk to anyone but my husband and my best friend about it. I have a hard time admitting I am anything but "normal" (thanks, mom). I just can't talk about it in a public forum. But know that I understand completely and do the same things you do.

[@chrisp7548]

You could almost be telling my story. I have the same feelings. I need to take your example and push myself to do more. Great video! You were very eloquent!

[@DestinyRain18]

i have trouble going places because of anxiety too but i love going. its just the until i get there thats the hardest part for me too. and now i have anxiety so bad i hyperventilate. i totally get you! i so want to meet you someday! i feel like i relate to you in alot of ways and i also relate to jess in alot of ways too. big hugs!