It’s Okay That You’re Not Okay: Coping with Grief & Loss with Megan Devine | The Mark Groves Podcast

[@JaneenButler]

Someone gave me your book and it has helped save me during the last three years since my son passed away. My family is horrible and I couldn’t believe that they would be the most difficult and judgmental people to be around after his death. My life is upside down and I still can’t, get it together. I feel absolutely nowhere to turn and don’t know what to do. I miss my son so much! But I know because of your book that I am right and correct in my feelings that the judgment and criticism from my family is unjust. my son deserves a beautiful loving memory. Evan’s loving mom CJ

[@Melissa20251]

I lost my youngest daughter when she was 20- I found her body and went into shock. She was my entire world... there is no gift or silver lining I hate when people say that to me. We are, indeed, uncomfortable letting things be bad. Thank you, Megan, you've helped me so much.

[@DianaMarie23051]

I lost my brother to suicide in 2011. I lost my dad in 2014 to cancer. And now I have lost my youngest baby boy a few months ago. Losing my son & the tragic & sudden way we lost him has put me into such emotional & physical turmoil. My doctor sent me to the ER. They thought I was having a stroke. I was diagnosed with PTSD, anxiety & severe panic attacks from my son’s death. I am traumatized. I have never experienced such effects in my life. I feel like I’m dying every time I cry. I hyperventilate & drool & my body tingles. My face goes into an ice cold sweat. My mouth, lips & tongue go numb. My head tingles. My heart feels like it’s beating inside my ears. The night it happened it was so bad that I had all of that but I couldn’t hear or walk. The EMT’s said I was in shock. Yet I’m still experiencing all of that except that I can walk now but I sob to the point of exhaustion sometimes. I’m so tired. I can’t find a good therapist that takes my insurance. No wonder people are killing themselves. There is not enough mental health care in this world. I have never needed grief support until now. I can’t do this one alone. I dont know how to recover from losing my youngest child. Im just so sad. And when I do have joy it’s never without sadness. I have loved my son his entire life. And now I will miss him for the rest of mine! I lost my son. I am now Vilomah! How does a mother not fall apart. I know my son, my dad & my brother are ok. I know where they are. But I’m not ok. And I know I need guidance. Anything to stop this physical toll on my mind & body. I never knew that grieving can make you so so physically sick! I really feel like I’m dying sometimes. And it flares up my FMS. And to go through this alone is even harder. I have friends & support. But I’m not trying to put this on them 24/7. I’m at the point now that I’m tired of feeling so sick & so tired of crying when I wake up & when I go to bed that I have learned to push it away. To numb myself or disassociate somehow. But it always catches back up with me a few days later. Am I ever going to go a day without crying? Ever? It’s only been a few months. But it feels like years to me! Am I ever going to be normal again? 🙏🏼MJT-F23💛🕊️

[@chilloften]

Allow it, these feelings. You are normal to feel this immense pain. It is life long but eventually we just carry it. 5 years.

[@dorianmodes8]

❤I understand so much and feel you.

[@poloburr]

🙏 ❤

[@susantalebzadeh9741]

All of the above…these would have been my words months ago.. It gets better slowly, ever so slowly. Spend as much time as possible in nature and away from screens. This helps you to see the beauty in this world and feel the energy of the universe around you.

[@nejemyetenenbaum5732]

Hello Diane, I read your comment with such anguish in my heart because I comprehend emotionally what you are or were going through. I lost my 8year old son traumatically and I feel everyday like I am dying inside. I have watched many programs on life after death and I am convinced things don't end and the soul carries on, I have watched many videos on grief and guilt, my guilt is destroying me, reading books, articles, but the pain, the void, the emptiness and the guilt are immense. I feel for you and the truth is that I have no advice to offer, just share with you that I understand and relate to your emotional and mental condition.

[@justinamontgomery2618]

I love the part about NOT punching someone in the face as a goal! Spot on!

[@markgroves]

Lol. I resonated with that too. She's so real.

[@justinamontgomery2618]

@@markgroves I found your channel and subscribed! I am a fellow feeler!

[@markgroves]

@@justinamontgomery2618 - thanks for joining the journey! Sensitive people unite!

[@DianaMarie23051]

Yes. Grief is so ugly! I have never felt so triggered in my life. Some people really should just say nothing to people grieving. I have lost my youngest son, my only sibling, brother & my dad who was my best friend. I’m a suicide survivor times two. Some people should just say sorry & nothing else. I understand people mean well. But it’s so triggering & exhausting.

[@robertmitchell2884]

Outstanding interview/discussion between two sensitive and caring human beings. My better half died 19 days ago of brain cancer and I have been experiencing first hand what grieving is all about. Never thought one could feel so much emotional pain and distress, it is simply unimaginable. Everything said in this podcast is so authentic and true. Thank you.

[@alices.1824]

So sorry for you.

[@alicecurtis1523]

Coping with the death of my husband a mere 18 months ago, I'm so grateful that this podcast was brought to my attention. Megan's message resonated strong and clear for me and I already instinctively knew that putting any time-frame on any part of the process only creates more grief really. In my case my husband had a stroke 2 yrs. prior (caused by a congenital blockage totally unforseen) and the following year he experienced the horror of esophageal cancer. He died 8 days after his 70th birthday. My 2 sons and I were already over our heads in "grieving" so part of me was numb for many months after. I'm currently participating in a bereavement group that feels uniquely different and much of what Megan has spoken to are the very things our group is exploring. The group facilitator sent the link to this podcast and it has had a very positive impact for me. Thank you so much to Megan and a very caring presenter, Mark.

[@markgroves]

Sending you healing vibes and lots of love ❤

[@beatleme2]

Love this, lots of reality bits and info, thanks - my wife of 13 yrs passed 8 1 23 of cervix cancer tumor, and never made it to the 1st chemo, thinking it was just menopause with sciatic nerve pain, 3 mths later gone :(.. Gave us hope till the end, she was only 50

[@markgroves]

Sending you love. Sorry for your loss ❤

[@beatleme2]

@@markgroves Thanks :) it means alot

[@aramzadikian]

So sorry for the pain you’re in. going through it now. So not prepared for this

[@jmiller3579]

It doesn’t matter what they’ve told us when it happens we’re never ready to say Goodbye… we are never ready to lose out on love

[@susantalebzadeh9741]

I am so sorry for your loss. I had it at stage 1 and treated luckily and I do yearly PAPs…please educate. Cervical cancer is caused by HPV a sexually transmitted virus

[@jmiller3579]

She loses him in 2009 and she still feels the pain… loss is complicated to the human psyche

[@karentonks7581]

I found my mum decomposed in her bath 5 years ago and after the " normal" 6 month grief period I went to seek help ( It was a traumatic story even before she died) . I went for a mental health assessment but nothing happened there after. 5 years on and although I try to carry on I've never truly processed that level of trauma x Thanks for this

[@markgroves]

Sending you lots of love. Sorry for your loss ❤

[@karentonks7581]

Thankyou..it means a lot

[@dorianmodes8]

❤

[@drsandhyathumsikumar4479]

Very helpful . Gratitude ❤

[@susantalebzadeh9741]

Brilliant, in so many ways!

[@jn3098]

It sounds like there’s no hope 😩

[@craftygirl17]

Everything you said Megan is dead on.

[@pippenlapue9643]

She said nothing of substance. Nothing to back what she said.

[@jmiller3579]

Movie Love Actually is such crap and overrated

[@janinedevilliers510]

I hated it.

[@JaneenButler]

Someone gave me your book and it has helped save me during the last three years since my son passed away. My family is horrible and I couldn’t believe that they would be the most difficult and judgmental people to be around after his death. My life is upside down and I still can’t, get it together. I feel absolutely nowhere to turn and don’t know what to do. I miss my son so much! But I know because of your book that I am right and correct in my feelings that the judgment and criticism from my family is unjust. my son deserves a beautiful loving memory. Evan’s loving mom CJ

[@annehedonia156]

"My family is horrible...." Same. My son died in December 2021, just weeks from his 30th birthday on Christmas Eve. I haven't seen or spoken to my oldest sister since the night of his funeral, she was so disrespectful to his memory, his brother and me. I no longer speak to the next oldest sister now, either. She's the worst... an evil narcissist who tried for years to turn my deceased son against me and after he died, started in on my youngest. It's unacceptable and unforgivable, in the sense that our friendship and sisterhood is over. Done! She's the ringleader of the toxic attitude of "she just needs to get over it." I'm one of eight kids and I absolutely idolized my family growing up, but now realize I am one of the scapegoats. My son's death has opened my eyes and ripped the illusion of 'good family' apart. I should get her book. I'm just now able to read about grieving. 😢🫂💔

[@daliborjovanovic9488]

Thank you for this,i've lost my brother due to suicide and i really felt like i was seen in my pain through this interview...You nailed on some topics i couldn't articulate before,especially the part about hero's journey,the idea that going through pain is some noble path that's supposed to bring me great reward and transformation.Sometimes grieving is just grieving,there's no great reward at the end of it...Heroic idea can bring some hope and meaning in pain but it can also close me to the raw nature of tragedy of living,which is the only certain truth i know right know,and that's comforting in a way😊

[@DianaMarie23051]

I am a two time suicide survivor too. This is the hardest grief to recover from. Especially when it’s immediate family. So sorry for your loss. 💛

[@daliborjovanovic9488]

@@DianaMarie23051 thank you dear, i'm sorry for your losses❤️

[@tomsparks6099]

Devine's book is essential for the griever's library. Grief doesn't get better, but you get better at it. There is a toolbox you need to open and use during your journey. If you plant roots in grief and wear it as your badge for the rest of your life, you won't move forward. Honor your lost person who wanted to live - by living. That is the transcension of Love and Loss.

[@doreen3763]

Or have you accepted it or tried forgiveness.. the first week of losing my son.

[@maryellenstankovich1511]

I love Megan because she’s real! She tells it like it is. I lost my fiancé 7 months ago and then my mom, so I’m dealing with a double whammy. 💔

[@Jenny-kg7zb]

Me too. I lost my sister last month, and 11 days later my boyfriend/ bestfriend.

[@markgroves]

Sending you love ❤

[@maryellenstankovich1511]

@@Jenny-kg7zbI’m so sorry for your losses. Grief is like a really bad roller coaster ride and it sux💔😢

[@susantalebzadeh9741]

That’s a lot of heartbreak🙏💕

[@annknope8978]

Still searching for a beautiful life now that my husband is gone. We were married for 50 years, looking forward to retirement together. Too late to start life over. Looking for ways to feel connected. Where IS my person? Not here. So I have to be my person. Thankful for him. Leaning in to how I feel, not covering it up, living in neutral one day at a time.

[@joycedistler4332]

My condolences. My husband of 39 years died 15 days ago.

[@alices.1824]

I’m so sorry. My husband of 54 years passed away three months ago and dealing with grief is a daily event.

[@goga5104]

​@joycedistler4332 15 days today my husband of 40y passed away. I died with him.

[@rams226]

Message that resident with me (Grief is healthy too, it doesnt mean there’s something wrong with you, and its okey if takes so long) So many beautiful things said, thank you ❤

[@JB-et7zs]

I blame the pathological obsession on individualism in the US. We can’t conceive of an idea of the larger community coming together to support each other for any amount of time in any meaningful way.

[@pippenlapue9643]

Mark" very frustrating interview. All "Word salad" this entire interview. "Say nothing" is her Answer. "Its not like the movies." She is all over the place. You tryto pin her to an answer. How do I help you carry this. No answer. Dissapointed and frustrating interview. I guess she can give away her secret to helping someone with out payment. If people are cruel to you in any way maybe you should look within yourself.

[@karentonks7581]

Great real conversation

[@serfbummer]

Good interview. Good points made. Thanks for sharing.

[@jfelizondomd]

Thanks!

[@donnahansen326]

So glad I listened to this.

[@smplmachines]

Thanks!

[@josephashenofsky8266]

Really powerful eye opening stuff