UPDATE 16/06/2024: Sign up for this newsletter, so when I launch the support forum/group (working on it now), you can join: mailchi.mp/1d1a816d7c89/inner-researcher - - - - 02/06/2024: Question to you all lovely humans going through the Dark Night of the Soul. A viewer made a good point in the comments, asking if there are any support groups for this journey & mentioning that it would be nice to have people to talk to that are/have shared this experience. *I would like to create a support community*, even if it starts as a forum where we can talk to each other, get support/tips/advice, and such. If you would be interested: can you please let me know underneath this pinned post? Thank you! ❣
@rajupenmathsa37552 ай бұрын
Thank you. I’m interested to participate in related support group
@dirtyqc41752 ай бұрын
What if this cycle keep going?
@user-hq4ig9ns2v2 ай бұрын
Yes, please create a support group. It would save lives! God does not want us to go through this alone. Thank you.
@jdloer2 ай бұрын
Hi, I would be interested in being part of that group. I live in Sweden, so if there are some people in European Time Zone we could even create one for that zone, otherwise I can adapt to a North American Time Zone. I am 47 year old, and I have gone through this process(es), and it feels apt to be of support of others. We all have different backgrounds and entries into spiritual development, I understood my process via Jungian Psychoanalysis practices in combination with Gnostic wisdom, thus I could be of support to anyone who feels comfortable with those topics. Thanks for these videos and looking forward to be of support!
@sidtheslothwhy87062 ай бұрын
Yes this group sounds great!
@Brendon_Xu_The_Big_B3 ай бұрын
I had a conversation with my family last night about finding the purpose in life and I asked many existential questions about our lives. They just want me to follow the typical norm of getting a degree, find a job, make a living for life. Recently, I had a spiritual awakening and everything I believed is crumbling down. I just feel like nothing even matters to me anymore. I just want to disassociate from the society to live in peace and be aligned with my true authentic self. Everybody calls me crazy. Eventually, the conversation turned into a heated argument, It was literally so depressing that I ended up leaving the room in tears. Later, I ended up spending the rest of the night alone in my room and spent a long time doing meditation to release the negativity. Deep down, I do trust the process. It is all a part of the transformation for the greater good, if somebody can relate to this, I just want to say keep moving forward, the universe will reward those that dares to follow their hearts! Peace! 🙏
@InnerResearcher3 ай бұрын
I can sooooo relate to this!!! And you are not crazy and not alone. Don’t follow the norm. It’s actually funny because this morning i shared exactly these same reflections as yours on my instagram. Time to move away from “reality” and “the norm”. 🙏🏻 you got this!!!!! Youre having this experience for a reason.
@kjr26203 ай бұрын
Are there any support groups for this journey? It would be nice to have people to talk to that are/have shared this experience
@sandbar30003 ай бұрын
Good you family. Wish I had one. My parents died & I have no kids no wife
@ayoangie70992 ай бұрын
I went through this from 2012 to about 2020. It was AWFUL! I questioned everything. I wanted to go home but I didn't know where home actually was! I started getting lots of downloads and couldn't make sense of it. How it started was by being abused by a church pastor. It made me so lost and confused. And when I say it is difficult...it is traumatizing but not meant to hurt. It brings clarity. I no longer and religious. I do not go to church and will never again. My relationship with source is so amazing now! I looked for therapist for this but I found nothing.
@SamikshaShrivastava-hx6fv2 ай бұрын
OMG!!! I am exactly exactly exactly at the same place , thoughts of being done with this life are cropping up. I simply cannot live a typical life of society pleasing and looks like whatever I do, I keep ending up at a place where I am forced to do something that is soooo not me, now I am at a place where either I am supposed to produce a child or leave my marriage. I am torn apart, I want a peaceful life of spiritual growth and not a child who is causing pain and suffering to the world.
@glenswada7 күн бұрын
I am experiencing dark night of soul from my spiritual practices. Which is also accompanied by what in Hinduism is called Anahata Nad (unstruck sound heard in the ears). When long forgotten memories came to my conscious. I was at first confused what I was suppose to do with those memories. Then something inside told me all I have to do is witness the feelings from those memories again. Just witness the sadness, fear or confusion of those memories. Don't let the mind try to relive or resolve those memories. Because the memories themselves are no longer valid in the NOW. Its only the feelings from the memories that need be dissipated.
@ChristinaKM2 ай бұрын
12 years in and started with a divorce, loss of my home then my second home, loss of my friends, my career, my beloved dogs, you name it. I was down to a couple of friends and living with my mom. That a couple of years of really stupid decisions and finally got down to business. I feel like I’m stage three for sure.
@InnerResearcher2 ай бұрын
Thank you for sharing. Sounds like a very big "purification" stage. You got this!
@johndean80522 ай бұрын
we are not our story it's just a soap opera....
@shraddashradda2 ай бұрын
Wow very intense ❤ holy fire and purification, I had things similar happen. In astrology if you have major Capricorn placements you would have also dealt with the Pluto transit which is generally h*ll…🕊🕊🕊 prayers for restoration and renewal
@sergewabulaАй бұрын
Mine was triggered 8 years ago the day I decided a paradigm shift in my life, I wanted change. It resulted in divorce, abandonment, job lost, houses, cars, friends...It's been a journel in Hell. I thought I was cursed. No delivrance or prayers could help. Until I started surrendering and now I feel a tremendous peace and I can feel that the light is coming...
@oaivpeolgnhpАй бұрын
I feel you lol.
@Adrian_Real2 ай бұрын
The point about the process being non-linear is very important; one may feel that they've completed the process, only to be surprised by another 'peeling back' of inner layers. Thanks for making this.
@InnerResearcher2 ай бұрын
Absolutely!!
@Dodgerzden14 күн бұрын
This is why many people feel they've been through more than one "Dark Night" event throughout their lives.
@siavashsotodeh48607 күн бұрын
With 3 years of experience the dark night of the soul and still going on, I can say that anyone who enters these stages will never, ever want to back to previous version. And what really calmed me sometimes was prayer. God bless you.
@InnerResearcher6 күн бұрын
Yes yes yes!! Amen to this 🙏🏻
@PsychedelicActualization8 ай бұрын
I'm just emerging out of my own first dark night. Shook me to the core of my being. The most amount of suffering I've ever experienced. But very transformative as well. Even wrote a book about spiritual crisis which I'm gonna publish soon. Thanks for this video ❤
@InnerResearcher8 ай бұрын
Ohhh I so hear you. The most amount of suffering i’ve experienced, too… thank you for sharing & congrats on the book! ❤️
@sonya94788 ай бұрын
Can there be periodic dark night of the soul ? I had one period at the start of last year and I am going through one again now almost same as last year
@SanctifiedLady2 ай бұрын
@@sonya9478it goes on for years
@InnerResearcher28 күн бұрын
@@sonya9478 absolutely!
@abdullahyounessi948528 күн бұрын
Shook to the core. So true
@RitamBuchwaldАй бұрын
My dark night of the soul probably started when I was 11 years old. I'm now in my mid thirties and I'm finally beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. This road has been rough, but the intense bliss that I'm now open to feeling is amazing, nothing prior in my life can compare to it. I still get days of intense difficult emotions, but because my heart is more open than ever and I rely on my intellect far less, I can now be with the powerful feelings and trust that something good is happening.
@InnerResearcherАй бұрын
Wow. Thank you for sharing & wonderful to hear that the bliss you feel is nothing you can compare it too. Beautiful!!
@RitamBuchwaldАй бұрын
@@InnerResearcher :)
@Starstorm111Ай бұрын
Im sure mine started also at 10/11… now I’m 32, female.. this 2 past years have been daark dark. I’m feeling I’m transforming into a new human and still not sure at all who I am.
@RitamBuchwaldАй бұрын
@@Starstorm111 My heart goes out to you, :).
@Starstorm11129 күн бұрын
@@RitamBuchwaldthankyou❤
@S888A-KenObi5 күн бұрын
I think of it as God's induced fasting from the feeling of his presence and protection. You are in the Trial of Job. The feeling of absence of a higher power is profoundly painful and empty. But ultimately necessary and beautiful. This is only the feeling of, He is never truly gone. Much like a father that lets his child learn on their own. Pieces of you are meant to fall away. It is a marathon, it is a graduation, it is enlightenment. You will then turn to him and say, "I get it now, thank you" and are ultimately grateful.
@artumatai3 күн бұрын
This is sublime. I never really contextualised any of these experiences and soldiered through the hardest times simply accepting the pain and letting go of what I had to but this gives a different perspective to it all! Thank you, you are a beam of light 😇🙏💛
@sabrinaestrada35905 күн бұрын
Good stuff. I went through my own dark night. Couldn't afford therapy though. KZbin videos have helped a lot.
@krisr8582 ай бұрын
For the last two years I’ve had nothing but trauma. Lost everything, ended up broke. Relationship crumbled and left me in the most excruciating state. I cannot explain the feelings I went through it was like anxiety, depression, dissociation combined with insomnia. It forced me to wake up and question my whole existence. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel now as I am close to the other side. Question 🙋 did anyone experience like an uncomfortable feeling in the solar plexus all the way up to the throat chakra ?? Been dealing with this very uncomfortable sensation I have tried to unblock it through reiki however it just seems to stay there I’m thinking it’s something I just have to sit with and allow the gestation period. On another note I have changed as a person and I have become a light to family and friends, I’ve developed strength and character and understanding of the connectedness of the universe. I wish you all love and light through your dark period ❤
@InnerResearcher2 ай бұрын
wow. Thank you SO MUCH for sharing this & being so open. I can relate to absolutely eeeeeverything that you just described. In regards to your question: experiencing an uncomfortable feeling in the solar plexus all the way up to the throat chakra -- yes OH YES. For a period of time. I also did energy work and such, but really it started going away when I started standing up for myself, not betraying my own needs, and stepping into my own vision/values/what was important to me. So much of the uncomfortable feeling that I experienced was when I was stuck in this sad "victim" mode, putting myself behind everyone else, and tooootally abandoning my own needs and priorities. Thank you so much for sharing & there absolutely is a light at the end of the tunnel. my dark night of the soul was excruciatingly painful & difficult, but now that i'm on the other side, I can see it was the biggest gift & transformation... ❤
@144code2 ай бұрын
Hi yes feel the same sensation from solar plexus to the throat chakra. It’s good to know it’s a thing! ❤
@theanonymoushelpline7248Ай бұрын
@@InnerResearcherDid you have racing fearful thoughts?
@InnerResearcher28 күн бұрын
@@theanonymoushelpline7248 racing fearful thoughts almost feels like an understatement hah. I had a raceful fearful obsessive mind. 24/7. I felt like someone else was ruling my mind and i couldn't escape it. but yes, fear and distress and anxiety 24/7, so painful... just thinking back makes me want to hug my past self really tightly. it was awful...
@stephanierinaldi471611 күн бұрын
Thank you for shedding some light on the illumination stage. I was so happy to leave the dark night and enter this New World, but there’s still confusion as a search for the right path and try to clarify my true purpose. I keep turning to the Lord for guidance as I navigate, thankful for the entire journey and for all the love.
@InnerResearcher11 күн бұрын
I so hear you! And glad the video resonated 🙏🏻
@christopherscotellaro2 ай бұрын
One must shed the old skin without caution and realize who you will be when it’s over, is unknowable. Lean in like learning to dive into water, speak in public, or entering a haunted house. This too shall pass. Don’t fight it. Let yourself n ego die bcuz it needs to perish - to be reborn. Love you. Peace ✌️
@InnerResearcher2 ай бұрын
Spot on! Shed the old skin - perfectly said 🙏🏻
@MygirlsGJPB26 күн бұрын
I guess I'm still stuck in the first stage it's been years and years. All I want to do is sleep. I haven't felt happy or excited in probably 8 years. I lost my two beautiful dogs who were like my children and my abusive parents. I divorced from a man similar to my parents years ago. I just feel numb.
@annmarieknapp10 күн бұрын
I'm sorry. Going through a lot of loss too.
@lyfzuxzАй бұрын
Spiritual pain is gruelingly painful, but I wish you all not to give up. The freedom that comes from disconnecting from the ego releases you from the chains of suffering. Once you become aware that you are able to stop thoughts at will and that you are more than your thoughts, you will free yourselves from the false idea that your ego is your identity. You are so much more!
@InnerResearcherАй бұрын
Absolutely 👏🏻
@koltoncrane3099Ай бұрын
Yes. The thought you’re more than your ego is essentially the same thing as saying the identity making up my body is finite but I’m infinite since I have a spirit. Like that’s Christianity in a nut shell. Similar but different.
@koltoncrane3099Ай бұрын
But here’s the dichotomy I suppose. If I’m assuming I have no identity or ego and am a mere traveler through this journey of life why care? Some Asians I’ve listened to said you don’t get sad if you don’t get attached. Well I’ve Stopped being attached to most things but there are side affects. You can then wake up at 2 in the afternoon or not care to do even the basic things you used to enjoy in life like spend time in nature. Why spend time doing old things that used to be enjoyable when it’s attached to the ego? If you’re without ego you might as well just perish or disappear into the abyss as you remove attachments from your life why even live in the first place as you remove ego and identify and destroy your life? Really if you aren’t the old person anymore why do anything if you’re nothing? It’s like death seems like the logical thing if your life has ended already and you’ve disassociated with your old life. This idea of the dark night of the soul reminds me of the idea of the sorrowing of the damned where humans mourn in life devoid of any desire. The talk according to the desire of the heart by Neal a Maxwell I heard years ago talks about that idea. His use of English is also very poetic.
@fireatwill814328 күн бұрын
@@koltoncrane3099You could try letting go of the idea that it's "Your Life". Allow something deeper to live you. This might help what you "Do" to be more intuitive and harmonious. 🙏
@yuliyay36129 күн бұрын
I needed this video! 6 years in, im still on stage 2, sometimes switching to stage one. My journey was triggered by meeting my Twin flame and feelings of oneness and union first.
@MysticMustard77724 күн бұрын
This is absolutely spot on and extremely well done.
@InnerResearcher23 күн бұрын
Thank you!!!
@jamesmorrall5 күн бұрын
Cool. 8 years of stage one. Should be done by the time I’m 70.
@gg.66333 күн бұрын
Thank you so much for this video! I’m on phase 3, it’s been 12 painful years!!
@InnerResearcher3 күн бұрын
Glad it resonated & wishing you all the best on your journey 🙏🏻 there’s a reason you’re going through this!
@sherrier.61527 күн бұрын
I'm bawling my eyes right now with so many emotions, I'm a mess
@jennyvanderhoff2663Күн бұрын
Good illustration of a crisis in my life -thank you
@InnerResearcher22 сағат бұрын
🙏🏻
@jme43662 ай бұрын
You have helped me clearly understand what I have been going through over the past 5 years or more. I have gone through some very dark events and am now experiencing truly beautiful personal wonders. I have struggled with making sense of it all. This video shed light and helped me see the bigger picture of how I have changed and grown spiritually. I feel inspired to get this all into a journal in order to map out my personal journey. I cannot thank you enough.
@InnerResearcher2 ай бұрын
Thank you SO MUCH for sharing this with me. I'm so glad to hear the video resonated & helped you make sense of your experience. Journaling on this is a great idea. Sending you a huge huge hug!
@marty24764 ай бұрын
Thank you so much for making this video!!
@InnerResearcher4 ай бұрын
my pleasure!
@garethsheppard12602 ай бұрын
8 years in now and feel I'm in stage 3, what a journey 🙏🌌 give thanks for the dark and light 🙏
@InnerResearcher2 ай бұрын
What a journey indeed!!!
@CREATEHappyNow2 ай бұрын
This was really good! I have the book but takes a long time to go through especially when you are mentally exhausted all the time.
@InnerResearcher2 ай бұрын
Thank you & i hear you!!
@johnoswald914320 күн бұрын
It's a process that many spend a lifetime going through, I find Dr Carl Jung's Red Book experience very insightful, its difficult to articulate to yourself the experience of going into the depths of ones self and face your shadow. I think anyone who does, should journal the experience like Dr Jung, he called it a great work. I find painting and or writing these inner turmoils in a journal of great help. Thank you for you insights.
@InnerResearcher13 күн бұрын
Absolutely. I've journaled about the whole experience as well & it helped me get through it as well.
@billromasАй бұрын
The best and clearest explanation of this experience in life❤
@InnerResearcherАй бұрын
A huge compliment… thank you ❤️
@magickitchen54Ай бұрын
This is 100 % accurate for my experience. Mine was five, long years.And looking back, I don't see how I could have made it go faster.
@InnerResearcherАй бұрын
I hear you. Thank you for sharing 🙏🏻
@fchaves682 күн бұрын
Thanks for the good light on the issue!
@tomekd78923 күн бұрын
Ad 5:09 "You can start building something new and very, very different" - based on my experience, this is a recipe for the next dark night of the soul in the future. The state of just being gives my mind more inner peace than when it tries to build anything.
@InnerResearcher13 күн бұрын
You can be in a place of surrender/peace - and as a result this state builds the next chapter. No need to "force" or "work" towards the building :)
@h4kkuhemp2 ай бұрын
On my illumination stage, i’m so confused when I experienced my new self and my old self fighting for each other. I’m experiencing two different habit. Now i want to surrender it to my higherself. Jay shambho
@InnerResearcher2 ай бұрын
I so understand you. It’s like a push and pull - but at least now there is a NEW self to work/fight towards 🙏🏻 you got this
@itslisawright6 күн бұрын
thank you for this explanation. My event was the bank crash of 2008. Lost Business, Marriage and Home. Just found out about the Dark Night Of The Soul over the past few month. I am so grateful to have gone through all four stages without prior knowledge.
@durrcodurrАй бұрын
Thank you, that's very enlightening! According to your description, I've been having various personality aspects of mine in different stages for over 2 decades. It's nauseating, to be frank. But at least now I know what these stages are.
@InnerResearcherАй бұрын
Thank you for sharing. It’s a challenging experience indeed, but hopefully when you can name it and know what “it” is, it provides some clarity..
@joannaevans8247Ай бұрын
I went through this on a twin flame journey since beginning of April, i really needed this to change ,i am so thankful for all that i went through this journey 🙏 🙏 🙏 ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
@InnerResearcherАй бұрын
Beautiful!! Once you get to the other side & have transformed, you can’t imagine now having gone through this!! ❤️❤️
@AdoseofVАй бұрын
Dear Gabie, Thank you for this video💌 (popped up in my feed🙏). As someone going through the Dark Night (likely stage 3/4) this felt reassuring. The "losing your mind" bit was so funny because it resonated with my experience😅. I've had a spiritual practice for about 15 years. Beginning 2020, Saturn started its 7.5 year transit across my natal moon (called Sade Sati in sidereal Vedic astrology). Career, relationships, self-belief & spirituality tested to the breaking point (& beyond😇🥰). Still only half-way through the transit... whoop-de-doo😋. Anyhow, no matter what, you fall into ❣Love💋 itself.
@InnerResearcher28 күн бұрын
Oh, if you don't laugh about losing your mind through this experience, i'm not sure you'd get through it hah! There were many times where i was crying and laughing at the same time. Thank you for sharing!
@kurtistaylor7993Ай бұрын
You have done a excellent job of bringing this whole process to the light. So much wisdom you expressed and in a manner that is easy to Relate to if you are genuinely going through this Transformation. Thank You very Much. 💜💯✌🏻
@InnerResearcherАй бұрын
I’m so happy to hear this - thank you so much for your kind words!! 🩷
@user-hq4ig9ns2v2 ай бұрын
Thank you. Yes, it has been circular, cyclical and simultaneous for me, too. At times, I wanted to die. But, I also know that I’m changing, becoming stronger, more “me.” Old habits resurface at times, but I am more aware of toxic patterns and have released toxic relationships, especially with my family and friends. Don’t give up. You are not alone. Metamorphosis is painful but liberating.
@InnerResearcher2 ай бұрын
Perfectly said -- becoming stronger, more “me.” ❤ absolutely!
@ingridcruickshank1221Ай бұрын
Thank you so much for this! I like how you said that the experience is not linear. It's been a long haul for me, 15 or so years. Love the comments too❤
@InnerResearcherАй бұрын
Thank you for watching & i’m glad it resonated. I love the comments too! ❤️
@ferdinandocoluccelli9574Ай бұрын
thank you darling! it was a wonderful journey through a series of known experiences and states 😊 btw your smile is one of the most exquisite beauty of this fleeting world ❤
@InnerResearcherАй бұрын
Oh you are so kind!! Thank you!!
@questionMark44432 ай бұрын
I’m passing through this experience now. I was on a spiritual high and a relationship with a woman who turned out to be a fraud. She was a man who hoodwinked me out of some money. And I fell for it because I was lonely and an alcoholic and wanted to help another alcoholic who was as it turned out a grifter and I suffer the loss still. But I will survive I see it all as a learning experience in this life. Wisdom comes with a price.
@InnerResearcher2 ай бұрын
Thank you for sharing. You got this 🙏🏻
@EricCoplen19 күн бұрын
Great video. Thank you for sharing! Two words for this....Shadow Work. Bringing love to your fears and doubts feels intense but you are greater than them and that becomes the liberation you seek. You are being set up for greater joy and expansion, but it just feels like pain right now. God/Divine/Source/Universe isn't here to help you get around life, but THROUGH life...the light and the dark! Just coming out of a 2 year dark night myself. Hit me unexpected. Always have been a person of unbreakable faith, but life changes and some 3D "failures" and a health challenge called it all into question. Felt disconnected from my effortless faith and power to manifest...felt unworthy and inadequate. To anyone reading, practice shadow work. There are some great books on this. Debbie Ford's "The Dark Side of The Light Chasers" is a great start. Helped me recalibrate. Also,, Dr. Joe Dispenza's work.
@InnerResearcher13 күн бұрын
Thank you. And I absolutely agree - shadow work is very important!
@jonstewart53863 ай бұрын
Really good vid and it made a lot more sense to me after hearing you say the process is not at all linear. I kicked off the awareness stage about 4 months ago with what I think was a pretty intense ego death (and a heavy spiritual experience to go along with it) and I feel like I've spent most of my journey so far in purification.
@InnerResearcher3 ай бұрын
Im happy to hear the video resonated & wonderful that you’ve been able to reflect it on your own journey! Thank you for sharing 🙏🏻
@umeshkulkarni96872 ай бұрын
Since 2012.1st in 2014 and 2nd in 2020.Thank you..Illuminating Spirit. Most of my life journey dots connected. ❤🙏
@InnerResearcher2 ай бұрын
🩷🩷🙏🏻
@gg.66333 күн бұрын
Yup 2012 was a trigger for dark night of the soul for many people! Including me.
@GeorgeStrayton14 күн бұрын
Great video! I appreciate your being so vulnerable!
@InnerResearcher13 күн бұрын
Thank you!
@GeorgeStrayton13 күн бұрын
@@InnerResearcher I'm a screenwrirer and this idea comes up all the time. Most people don't get it, but you clearly do, so I will direct people to this video!
@caiovettori9410Ай бұрын
I relate very much to the jumping process between the stages. In my case, I feel like a struggle btw illumination and purification, with some glimpses of Union. Thanks for sharing your knowledge and experience dear sister! Love from Brazil!!
@InnerResearcherАй бұрын
I so very much understand your struggle! and my pleasure. Love from Lisbon!
@shreeram.joshi9612 ай бұрын
After watching your video, I felt like I made a new friend ☺️ & ❤ from India. 👍🏻👍🏻
@InnerResearcher2 ай бұрын
awh. Im so happy to hear that!!! hugs to you!!
@brielcantor15 сағат бұрын
I'm travelling in this dark night of the soul process for about 5 years or more. I've been illuminated twice or more already, but once I reach the light, I feel I go even deeper into the dark than I went before. The illumination in me lasts about two days or less, and so I go for months or even years into the dark. I guess my actual purification process is almost over, since I've found almost all answers I was looking for. Now I guess I can wait for another awakening, as usual, but more comfortably than before, since I'm conscious that it may come at any moment. One point I emphasize is that we can't think the dark night of the soul is a process which ends. As the day, so the night. It comes and goes. St. John was one of the founders of Carmelites, and one of the principles of the order talks about being an eternal student. So we need to be always mind and heart opened to learn more and more, as the Infinite shows us things we previously didn't perceive even in the tiniest things. Beware, and eyes opened.
@InnerResearcher11 сағат бұрын
Eternal student indeed 🙏🏻
@daniellemarieclarke29652 ай бұрын
Absolutely beautiful and helpful, thanks so much! With much gratitude!
@InnerResearcher2 ай бұрын
Thank you. My pleasure ❤️
@stalksey12 күн бұрын
Loved this vid, thanks! 👍
@InnerResearcher12 күн бұрын
My pleasure 🙏🏻
@phoenixaz8431Ай бұрын
The good thing about our suffering, afflictions, shame, despair, whatever hurts and plagues us is that God gets off on the drama. So we can enjoy every suffering God sends /allows knowing we do it for his entertainment. God could have gotten puppies, but we're so fortunate that he chose to create us instead. To think I would be in perfect peace and serenity if God hadn't been so gracious, generous and kind as to snatch me from the blessed state of nonexistence at my conception. But I look at the comments, i see people cheerfully rationalizing God's ineptness and self-absorption. ''My father was a volatile alcoholic, so he'd beat me. And I'm so thankful he did , because it taught me discipline'' If we were all happy and thriving, would God become suicidal? Is he hurt by others's happiness?
@ArtofLife-jh4df4 күн бұрын
I am in the stage where every thing is amazing and I am so present and I am being callled to do selfless acts all the time I have no attachment to outcome or thought I get insights all the time I feel one and my ego has collapsed
@daniloyamasaki7676Ай бұрын
Excruciating. That's how I'd describe it all. To me, every stage is happening at the same time. I keep on going back and forth through it all.
@Starstorm111Ай бұрын
Same. It’s like a non ending inner fluctuation with moments of incredible clarity, moments of confusion, massive emotional pain, peace, terror, clarity again.. hope, terror.. yes very excruciating
@InnerResearcher28 күн бұрын
I'm so sorry to hear and i agree. My process as well was excruciating & i couldn't make sense of it all. it's such deep and intense pain. but we must persevere... there' is a reason we're going through this.
@nicolelang310926 күн бұрын
@@Starstorm111I hear ya it’s been a month! I can’t stop crying
@Starstorm11125 күн бұрын
@@nicolelang3109keep going.. let it all out..
@Philtography-v8tАй бұрын
So well explained... I'm still in the process. It's definitely not linear and I've found there can be a lot of overlap. Thank you so much 😊
@InnerResearcherАй бұрын
My pleasure & thank you!!!
@CheesusSVTАй бұрын
Appreciate the video. I was lucky to have my parents to talk to about my experience so I didn't go crazy or what not. Took almost a year for me to go through all of this... Came and went in waves... Super cool, super confusing... Good to have family to talk to.
@InnerResearcherАй бұрын
Wow - thank you for sharing! 100% it’s great you had someone like your family to talk to. My mother also supported me a lot and it helped so much 🙏🏻
@Zenlife1132Ай бұрын
That was so beautiful and perfectly said!
@InnerResearcherАй бұрын
Thank you 🙏🏻
@Zenlife1132Ай бұрын
@@InnerResearcher thank you 😊
@ideapageАй бұрын
Bravo, Gabie. This is well written and delivered. Thank you.
@InnerResearcherАй бұрын
Thank you 🙏🏻
@krisk.82572 ай бұрын
Thank you🙏 This has been tremendously helpful. ✌🏻😊
@InnerResearcher2 ай бұрын
I'm so happy to hear that! 😀
@2biicoachingformndkarlotto3172 ай бұрын
Thanks for a good explanation of the journey through the night into dawn and the new light
@InnerResearcher2 ай бұрын
My pleasure ❤️ glad to hear it helped
@adirikoАй бұрын
This was really helpful. Keep up your uniqueness!
@InnerResearcherАй бұрын
Thank you! ❤️
@DZ-rf9fh9 күн бұрын
Carl Jung also wrote on this topic. Faith in the process❤Great overview.
@InnerResearcher9 күн бұрын
I love Jung’s work 🙏🏻 and thank you!
@deannahodge99Ай бұрын
I know I went through stage one for sure . That was so scary and I was so confused and sad.
@InnerResearcherАй бұрын
I’m with you… i was just as confused and sad as well
@tulumadas77732 ай бұрын
Very nice and clear explanation, keep up the good work
@InnerResearcher2 ай бұрын
Thank you ❤️
@Heid-fu2fz10 күн бұрын
Much appreciated thank you 😊
@InnerResearcher10 күн бұрын
🙏🏻 happy to help!
@jeoe886 күн бұрын
Thank u 🙏🏽
@kim.mie.23 күн бұрын
I went through all 4 and that lead me to make so many changes in my life and set boundaries with people. I went to University to pursue my dream career and I have been exposed to so many fears and challenges and fully felt like I went in to regression. It’s good to know I’m just in another stage of purification and illumination
@WarriorNurturer-vg8fd20 күн бұрын
Boundaries are not involved. That's ego resistance.
@kim.mie.18 күн бұрын
@@WarriorNurturer-vg8fd no, when someone is violent for 5 years and wont take accountability, setting boundaries is not ego resistant. Its saying that ive had enough and its a necessary act of self-care and self-protection. Its dangerous to throw around accusations before understanding the premises of someones decision. You are invalidating peoples decisions and realities, so be careful of what you say because you could be harming innocent people...
@WarriorNurturer-vg8fd18 күн бұрын
@@kim.mie. I never said do not create space through your absence.
@glacey49062 күн бұрын
So I'm planning on leaving the country I immigrated to (leaving behind my children and grandchildren) because I feel like I've lost myself. Go home, reclaim the things that once made me happy in my childhood. Back to dysfunctional family who still see me as the little sister.
@Wookien5 сағат бұрын
My dark night has lasted 8 years so far, and only in the last 2 years did I begin with stage 2 and 3.
@ruskinyruskiny161120 күн бұрын
This sure "helps me make it through the night".
@InnerResearcher13 күн бұрын
🙏
@marcos7732 ай бұрын
I can relate so much with this. Still in this transformation journey but I have released a lot. Nowadays there are a lot of great tools that help with the process of nervous system regulation. Somatic experiencing(Peter levine), Internal Family Systems, Brain Retraining, TRE, Polyvagal theory. Also programs like Primal trust, Dnrs, Joe dispenza meditations. At the end of the day I think it is surrender with the body sensations, a lot of self-love and find our true nature.
@InnerResearcher2 ай бұрын
Absolutely, there are a lot of tools nowadays that can help navigate these stages. And yes - surrender, surrender, surrender!
@anirudhvyas60692 ай бұрын
Without going into specifics, I am going through one right now. However I had a lesson/insight come to me that has convinced me to go back to spiritual journey again which I thought I could never go back to. In Darkness and Secure.
@InnerResearcher2 ай бұрын
Best of luck to you. You got this 🙏🏻
@waltgaffert25549 күн бұрын
My dark night of the soul. I was suffering a black mold infection. I had been getting sicker and sicker over a two year period not realizing I had mold growing underneath the carpet. The asshat that owned the building never sealed the floor in my basement unit. In 2010 the pain was so excruciating and I was so sick all the time, as well as scared, I was gearing to killing myself. My doctor said the symptoms were psychosomatic, I knew that was not true, but it left me with no answers still. I had pain everywhere and the vapor off my skin of the toxins in my body was enough to make me sick all over again experiencing excruciating pain from the toxin tricothecene a T2 myco-toxin. At its worst, I could only catch my breath by having a fan blowing in my face, as well clothing and bedding would become toxic to me from the fungal load coming out of my body. I was struggling to have fresh clothing and when people touched me or I touched money, or door knobs, even random items like a paper coffee cup or newspaper, I would have a reaction of what felt like being in a pressure cooker! By Feb. 2010, I had no fight and no resources left. I laid back on the bed of the cheap motel and said simply “If you want me God, here I am.. I can’t do this without you”. It was then, for the first time, I began to commune with Spirit. I wish that it had been a snap of the finger cure, but it took some time. In March, I was introduced to Jim Humble’s MMS. After spraying down my body with mms and ditching my old clothing for new, I could breathe! I tried the then known dosage, 30 drops, but it only made me feel less symptomatic for a short while. I felt I wouldn't make it through the night and prayed my ass off asking what I could do. Spirit said that I would drink 100 drops. I was scared, but I did it. What happened next is pretty graphic, the infection didn't die.. it left my body.. in a hurry! A large grapefruit sized colony of candida albicans and a huge amount of mold that looked like algae shortly followed. I then vomited a large amount of dead blood, it looked like coffee grounds. I slept soundly that night and was able to eat my breakfast and not throw up. It would take several more months to totally beat the infection. I spent my time experimenting with MMS, DMSO, and MMS2 (calcium hypochlorite) and researching. There were no real protocols in 2010. It took over a year to completely lose all the symptoms, which in the later stage of recovery were not severe. This experience put Spirit back into my life, and so it is the worst of times and the best of times. When I reflect on the nightmare and the loneliness of that cold, damp Winter, I am amazed, grateful, and pretty freaked out. I know Christ as my brother.. and he's doing his thing, and that means that God is doing his thing as well.. which leads me to assert that Demons are also! Be vigilant and trust your hearts.! It's a mad mad world!
@melodymerritt841923 күн бұрын
Great Video! This has helped me realize my own experience!
@InnerResearcher23 күн бұрын
Thank you! 🙏🏻
@jim469019 күн бұрын
Thanks beautiful soul.
@InnerResearcher18 күн бұрын
🙏🏻
@Eugenetra76 күн бұрын
Looks like I have only stage - Shit, and it's been going on for 43 years for now. Poverty, misery, torturing of all kinds, narcs, divorce, shitty friends, shitty family, war. Anything worse will come or it's the end? I show my middle fingers to the sky during missile strikes. This is like a crazy nightmare that lasts several decades.
@cruelladevillies906Ай бұрын
I can’t wait until everyone wakes up to themselves… it’s magic
@InnerResearcher28 күн бұрын
yes yes yes!! absolutely magic!
@jazzffer12 күн бұрын
Are you in that stage?
@cynthialester83482 ай бұрын
I started this process over 30 years ago, and still going through the clearing out, healing stage. Hard to believe you are not going to go through all of this again. I don't think it ever ends. Always something more to heal.
@InnerResearcher2 ай бұрын
I don't think the work of letting go, shedding old "skin" etc is ever done. It's never complete. Some periods are harder than others. The 3 years I went through it, it was FULL ON challenging. Sure, now i dip in and out slightly, but it's nowhere near the initiation that it was. I also expect at some points in life it'll get more intense again. It ebbs and flows :)
@user-jn6jm4bb6f25 күн бұрын
the thing that you call: "dark night of the soul" is actually a dark night of the mind and emotions. The soul has no dark nights, it religiously and carefully follows the line of light. The mind and emotions, on the other hand, do not always manage to contain the stages and they therefore experience a lack or excess of stimulation or understanding. The emotions and the mind must receive an experience in a certain way and at a certain speed. If the soul takes us through a sharp, fast transition, and with too high an intensity of emotions, for example as in a birth canal, we experience emotional and cognitive darkness, a kind of overload (Kind of like passing out during high G in flight), until the flow of information synchronizes with our abilities. There are signs before its going to happen, so as soon as a person realizes that he is about to go through such a process, he must simply release his mind and emotions and surrender to the process. If he succeeds, the process will be much more faster (enjoyable/conscious?), but when it ends, like on a roller coaster, the person will just get up immediately and continue with his "new" life.
@chinchilla_46212 күн бұрын
One thing about feeling am emotion in its entirety is that you cant pull back into thought and give it a different twist of like "this will pass, cause everything passes" or "this is valuable, I'll emerge more complete from this" cause feeling an emotion fully, means feeling it without disassociating in thoughts around it. Actually if the awakening is significant you lose the ability to pull back into thought. When it comes to deep shadow work such as what comes up in what is referred to as dark night of the soul, I just want to tell each and everyone, that when you are going deep and rustling the feathers of your fundemental identity, this stuff is bound to come up. Utter helplessness, utter grief, utter anger, in its rawest form. No separation between you and the emotion, you could say, experientially even becoming the emotion. I just want to remark that this is truthful to the process, and others go there too, or perhaps more precisely, are taken there. What comes out the other side is beyond imagination, cause the imagination is the disassociation. This is about letting go off every bit of that. Sometimes in a way that feels like a freeing, or cleansing, and sometimes in a way of ripping it from you, it being stripped from you. Another video I can recommend that had ben tremendously helpful to me is this: kzbin.info/www/bejne/f3PVpXWniqt3n6ssi=-BEmZU2el0I-17wk Take care and go deep! I have tremendous fasciniation for the capacity, and vulnerability of people engaging in this sort of process.
@InnerResearcher12 күн бұрын
Agreed! :)
@87jf112 ай бұрын
Thanks for clarifying these stages, i am currently jumping between purification & illumination. My own Purification has being very tough to work through & still not over yet.
@InnerResearcher2 ай бұрын
My pleasure & glad the information resonated. I so hear you!! 🙏🏻 you got this ❤️
@davewebster51202 күн бұрын
The Dark Night of the Soul is also an excellent song by Loreena McKennit.
@npg1929 күн бұрын
Mine started with a nervous breakdown it took me a month to recover enough to go back to work. Lost 6 kg and it was tough as I suffered cripling anxiety for weeks... it's almost a year and I am getting stronger. It brought me back to God... Jesus and Buddhist teachings were also very helpful as was stoic philosophy for me. I now see it as a positive thing. But it has been a tough experience.
@InnerResearcher9 күн бұрын
Buddhist teachings are helpful indeed. And yes - it’s a very difficult and painful experience but once you get through the hardest, indeed you see it in a positive light. For me the 3 years were awful and painful but i would not take it back. I am forever changed!
@circulodeapoloАй бұрын
Very clear experience. Thanks for your conceptual history
@InnerResearcherАй бұрын
My pleasure, happy it resonated!
@glacey49062 күн бұрын
I've been in this for years now. And yes backwards and forwards between stages. And yes my head is caving in and I'm incredibly angry/teary at the moment and not navigating it well. What sort of therapist is helpful? Not CBT that's for sure. I thought it was a midlife crisis relating to menopausal years.
@JasonPruett4 ай бұрын
Screaming at the window Watch me die another day Hopeless situation Endless price I have to pay A sickened mind and spirit The mirror tells me lies Could I mistake myself for someone Who lives behind my eyes? Will he escape my soul Or will he live in me? Is he trying to get out Or trying to enter me? Voices in the darkness Scream away my mental health Can I ask a question To help me save me from myself? [Chorus] Enemies fill up the pages Are they me? Monday till Sunday in stages Set me free, oh - diary of a madman Ozzy osbourne i've been this way been ten years to the day “I still see things that are not here. I just choose not to acknowledge them. Like a diet of the mind, I just choose not to indulge certain appetites; like my appetite for patterns; perhaps my appetite to imagine and to dream.” - John Nash
@maryamdiao15093 ай бұрын
In between stage 2-3 currently for me it was awareness purification ego death and now being purified again
@InnerResearcher3 ай бұрын
you got this!
@willblackett4709Ай бұрын
very helpful thanks
@InnerResearcherАй бұрын
Glad to hear 🙏🏻
@Starstorm111Ай бұрын
Hi! Your video is amazing. I resonate with all.. I’m very surprised cause one of my biggest struggles is being unsupported by people in my life. Meaning, I have 2 relatives that I consider family and the relationship is challenging. At this stage I have no strength nor energy to communicate at all with this 2 people.. and even the rest of the world. I feel exhausted just thinking about any interaction ( it feels highly uncomfortable ), I don’t even want to talk with friends.. at the same time I feel so lonely and starting to enjoy it actually, it’s bittersweet and contradicting. I’m basically on my own most of my life, not sure how I became so used to it, is hard some days, I’m more aware now. I do feel some days like I’m just dying, like leaving everything behind and I feel this deep deep sadness. Also being introduced to my shadow, the ugly parts of who I am as a personality. The toxic traits of myself.. and some dark values I was not aware of. The ego trying to fight it all, not lose it! And knowing like.. oh wow, this is just starting.. you gonna be a completely different human. Which is terrifying. The most painful time is facing childhood massive trauma from alcoholic abusive family. And learning to forgive, but it’s just too complex to explain.. Having insights about the universe workings, secrets of human life, like I’m channeling very complex concepts about it all.. it’s just too much going on honestly. I love your energy very much. You look clean ( energetically ), very grounded and mature!🤍
@InnerResearcher28 күн бұрын
Thank you so much for sharing and I'm sorry to hear about your challenges. This transformative process is definitely not for the faint of heart - but you sound incredibly self-aware and committed. Keep going! And thank you for the kind words.
@kjr26203 ай бұрын
Are there any support groups for this journey? It would be nice to have people to talk to that are/have shared this experience
@InnerResearcher3 ай бұрын
Ohhh, not that I know of. But honestly… this isn’t a bad idea. I would have love on myself. Should i make a support group? 🤔
@sandbar30003 ай бұрын
Yes. Make a support group.
@DAIHSSMITH3 ай бұрын
No. We must turn our back on everything of this world and put every ounce of our faith, trust, and hope in our Lord and Lady. We must rely solely on God.
@InnerResearcher3 ай бұрын
@@DAIHSSMITH community is essential in healing, especially collective healing :) no man is an island.
@DAIHSSMITH3 ай бұрын
@InnerResearcher The purpose of detachment, though, is total. Not partial. If we have earthly support, then we are not completely detached. I, too, have gone through the dark night. The unintentional wrong support of others would get into the way of what our Father is trying to work. We came into this world alone, and we will leave this world alone. And alone, we will be accountable. Therefore, in order to accomplish the Will of the Father that no one else can know, we must also go through this alone as uncomfortable and hard as it may be. Jesus suffered so much more, and we can offer our tears and sufferings up for Heaven to use. Our Father wastes nothing. May God bless you abundantly.
@joeypineda19743 ай бұрын
Thank you 🌟
@InnerResearcher3 ай бұрын
glad it was helpful
@rexboaden14418 күн бұрын
Thank you, a useful video pointing out the sign posts along the way through this transformation. It seems to me that the Soul - or Destiny - or some higher Intelligence - engineers the process uniquely for each person, depending on what is needed. Hence, for some the process may take a decade or more! Another point, because one is in such an emotional and non rational state in the midst of all the turbulence, an analysis of each distinct stage and the likely sequence is not very helpful, and may be useful for constructive a narrative in retrospect. Finally, for mid life transformations I can warmly recommend the works of Jungian analyst James Hollis. His books have helped me more than anyone else. 😊
@nolanpribnow74415 ай бұрын
This is a great video!
@InnerResearcher5 ай бұрын
Thank you!
@chargersina11 күн бұрын
Dearest daughter, the problem with shadow work is that it never ends. We can’t really work on it because it is well hidden so it has to show itself first. In My experience without grace there’s no clarity or lasting happiness. I can only imagine that you have had grace. Most people don’t experience Grace. It could be a never-ending ego chasing itself unfortunately. Without grace I wish everyone, grace. 💞
@InnerResearcher10 күн бұрын
Shadow work never ends indeed & grace is important too 🙏🏻
@jochandler11802 ай бұрын
Thank you 🙏
@InnerResearcher2 ай бұрын
You’re welcome 😊
@EinarGrondal11 күн бұрын
Thank you for a very illuminating and nourishing presentation. Very professionally done. Well organized, clear, concise and at the same time compassionate and kind. I am experiencing all the stages at what seems like the same time. After 5 years of this roller-coaster like existence I have found myself having to let go of everything I once thought was "Me". Nothing less than complete surrender seems to cut it. Your presentation really helps. 🙏🏽🩷
@InnerResearcher11 күн бұрын
Thank you so much for the kind words 🙏🏻 Letting go of what you that was you - painful but beautiful!!
@SachiJonesАй бұрын
I've found it to be cyclic myself. I experienced a 'bigger' process between 4-8 years ago which was very similar to what you described. But the back and forth since then has seemed more like additional dark nights cycling progressively forward. Each subsequent cycle acts as further refinement of the work that was done in the previous ones and is comparatively further reduced in intensity, duration, etc. The big one was BIG, but like you say, well worth it. So much growth and transformation and peace, especially after a few cycles.
@InnerResearcherАй бұрын
Absolutely, i think it's cyclical indeed. After the initial "BIG" awakening, it feels like we go through the cycles, but smaller ones and not as intense. but still shedding layers, unlearning things, and transforming. The growth is definitely worth it!!!
@SachiJonesАй бұрын
@@InnerResearcher thank you for sharing your experiences to help guide others through it :) "we're all walking each other home" as Ram Dass would say
@InnerResearcher28 күн бұрын
@@SachiJones One of my favorite quotes ever... indeed we are all walking each other home!
@JimmyRichardsonIII2 ай бұрын
It’s beautiful once you make it to the other side
@InnerResearcher2 ай бұрын
Couldn’t agree more!!!
@proper.role.model.8193 ай бұрын
Thank you so much!! This video was easy to understand. I feel like Im just a core and the outside has dissolved. It's really weird.
@InnerResearcher3 ай бұрын
My pleasure!! And ohhhh - that is so well said & i know what you mean 🙏🏻
@dinmaduru3 ай бұрын
I am worn out. Completely worn out. I don’t think I can take it anymore
@Twinflamespurechannel2 ай бұрын
You are never given more than you can handle. Your soul, Divine, is leading the way. The sense of being exhausted will pass. Have faith, you are light and you are divinely guided. Lots of love dear soul 🌞🙏🏼❤️
@InnerResearcher2 ай бұрын
I hear you. I was so worn out as well, after 3 years of being in it: but i promise there is light on the other side & @twinflamespurechannel is right 🙏🏻
@sonicspring644814 күн бұрын
This info will help to guide and orient many people going through similar experiences. We just need the psychiatric profession to stop pathologising them, and get it about spiritual emergence through spiritual emergency. (Worth looking up)