Fifty Shades Darker Script Doctor

[@patrickgoggles7864]

50 Shades of Train. 3 hours of Christian Grey just painting a train, explaining why he is choosing different grays for the train.

[@adamwarlock1]

He basically becomes the British husband from A Mighty Wind. I guess he'd be British Husband With Bad American Accent.

[@MeetMeViceVersa]

Autism really made it into the Zeitgeist and has been here for quite a while.

[@aadityabhattacharya]

Patrick Goggles That would be more thrilling and intriguing than the actual film

[@ElRook]

Patrick Goggles 50 shades of Bane

[@ziahmea8142]

I need this

[@nurimuri6808]

Your eyes dazzled as you talked about Christian being a possible miniature train fanatic.

[@Noli.Nyeleti]

Is this a fanfic?

[@1TW1-m5i]

It is something typically associated with nerds and retirees, so having a billionaire want to do it would make for an interesting twist

[@LulitaInPita]

@@Noli.Nyeleti it should be...

[@thomasjenkins7506]

@@LulitaInPita it should be the official story.

[@FrozenRoxas]

Is perhaps Jenny a closeted train fanatic? Hmmm

[@hamishwoodland7424]

Maybe the Anastasia character with the long coat and the long cigarette could have a weird obsession with dogs. Like maybe she wants to make a coat out of them or something? But only a certain kind of dog?

[@fungusonus]

Hamish Woodland perhaps a dachshund

[@onettaviator5396]

Hamish Woodland Like that woman from 101 Dalmatians?

[@medallionvaliance5349]

Hamish Woodland Shit that explains why Cruella was so damn crazy

[@gabbyabbott4965]

50 Shades Trilogy could be Ana’s tragic back story and descent into madness. We should also change her hair, the lipstick can stay, but maybe we give her distressed hair to reflect her newfound dog obsession.

[@zanthor5422]

SEE MY VEST SEE MY VE- Oh, wait, you were talking about that other thing.

[@android19willpwn]

"I just realized I called her Bella. I'm surprised I haven't done that already, honestly." you have and you didn't even notice

[@willybean9614]

Like twice already

[@clairegrim4369]

I caught the first time she did it and couldn’t tell if it was intentional or a Freudian slip

[@SolomonRR]

I think she realized

[@scrbusaucuparia]

the fifty shades freed we deserved was 120 minutes of henry cavil wordlessly playing with/building a model train set

[@lnt305]

I specifically like this since he’s into Warhammer 40k

[@josephmatthews7698]

Greatest thing ever

[@Dizzy8203]

50 shades of train

[@jasperjazzie]

@@Dizzy8203 50 trains of grey

[@jamiehendrix2568]

​@@jasperjazzie50 trains of train

[@TheAtomicDom]

"Who are we supposed to relate to in this horrible story about two mean, stupid people tormenting each other?" - This is the best write up of the franchise I've ever heard.

[@katiek2615]

The Atomic Dom except if it was written like that intentionally it would actually be interesting

[@morcates7312]

You see, if it is written like than on purpose, you get "Gone Girl"

[@Pensive_Scarlet]

I'm just going to imagine you are playing a character who is a dom powered by radioactive leather. But anyway, there actually is an answer to her question. The audience is supposed to relate to each other, the outsiders, all viewing this to get a quick thrill, then moving right back on to a life of hating "freaks" in subcultures and the "deviants" who get involved with them.

[@amorahschultze3781]

The Atomic Dom Gone With the Wind, anyone? Rhett and Scarlett are pretty great.

[@moongem4489]

Katie TheNinja Wuthering Heights is basically dumb stupid people tormenting each other and it's way more entertaining and somewhat relatable.

[@reggiepollock4669]

"My tastes are... Unconventional..." *choo choo*

[@kerrychristensen7204]

😂 *I snorted*

[@cookiemocher388]

😂

[@lunalimi9798]

I can't think of anything better than a movie about Christian Grey playing with his trains. Please someone make that.

[@Bunny-di7ox]

OKay, there is actually a parody that he did with James Cordon about his stuff being switched out with model trains 0.0 I think they copied her idea!!

[@lunalimi9798]

@@Bunny-di7ox OMG I just watched it!!!!!!!!!

[@tomkrajewski6209]

If Christian was played by Jack Black, then and only then.. would I watch these movies

[@brianfisher7385]

Double team supreme featuring Kyle Gass...

[@jdm883]

Tom Krajewski kyle gass plays anastasia haha!

[@cheeseburger12]

Or...Bruce Campbell! Especially if he fights a werewolf. With a chainsaw. For a hand. 50 Shades of evil Dead? Anyone? Anyone?

[@thork6974]

Cast Jack Black AND Jack White. Together they make Grey. And music.

[@anujmchitale]

And his 50 children would be "The 50 shades of grey"!

[@isabelleforstmann268]

Model train is a brilliant hobby. They could have a scene where Anna asks him why he finds model trains are so appealing & he can talk about finding comfort in having control over his miniature train town, being the one who decides the weather, where the people are standing, the direction the tracks lead etc. giving us insight into his need to feel “in control”, and how he copes w/ his trauma & the unexpected aspects of life by creating spaces like his business or his sex life where he can act out control. And then his little train town can be unexpectedly idyllic & wholesome, suggesting that he truly desires normalcy- something we’ve seen him be presented the opportunity for & only to deny himself that normalcy because he thinks he’s undeserving of it. And then that’d give Ana something to like about him- his creativity & thoroughness w/ building his model train set, and she sees that what he’s guarding isn’t this black heart or seething rage but actually a non-threatening, really sweet & childlike desire, and then we can at least understand why she thinks she can change him and what she sees in him that’s worth rescuing...even if it’s generally misguided to try and change people. Plus it’s explain why he likes Ana too- it’s precisely because she’s kinda bland & average. I’d like it a lot better if he doesn’t hate his mom. In the train version he just feels abandoned by his mom’s death. I think she was supposed to be an addict, so the BDSM stuff is just him acting out exercising control on behalf on his mom...because her habit was out of control, so he thinks if he can be in control he can save her in a sense. And that just makes more sense to me as to how a child would process that situation. Cus young children are really uncritical of their parents.

[@SaraSG1]

Wow I'd read the shit out of this version! Lots of really good ideas here.

[@FirstnameLastname-he1ov]

How dare you make this joke idea work so perfectly

[@skippiefritz]

You just put more thought into this than the author lol, but wow that's a facinatint concept

[@kyab2815]

Perfect

[@kiyadenham6515]

Dude you should write a fic

[@mikaellamousicos1365]

When Jose turns into a werewolf everyone would say “No way, Jose”

[@warandpoetry9542]

I would legit love to see a movie where Christian slowly gets over his fetish and gets really into model trains

[@warandpoetry9542]

Jamie Tucker yes, also he's dressed as a train conductor.

[@sentinel8758]

It would need at least one scene of Christian utterly demolishing the entire room in a fit of rage because the particular shade of color paint he wanted was all out.

[@Trollificusv2]

Should we try to guess what color he wanted??

[@dupplinmuir113]

And it would give him the chance to show his 'tender' side! ;)

[@Falstaff0809]

Bailey Alexis Quite likely. Do you have any idea how involving model trains can be? Huge set ups covering whole rooms is quite common.

[@implicaverse]

The Crazy Ex should be Anastasia herself. You see, Gray has a time machine and when Anastasia gets jealous, Gray abandons her in the past . . . thus the Crazy Ex isn't trying to harm Anastasia, she's trying to warn Anastasia. Yes, this is a ripoff of a Twilight Zone episode. Don't tell anyone!

[@imbatmanhi3363]

a time machine he bought for her cause she said back to the future was good

[@Nionivek]

Ooooh! Or better yet Anastasia has multiple personalities! One of them was Gray's Crazy Ex.

[@epoillaKory]

kinda sounds like... Trapped In A Island With Josh Hutcherson, as narrated by Jenny herself

[@jordanmurphy4450]

Hey

[@jordanmurphy4450]

Hey!Sosorryto

[@bartz0rt928]

"I wish all fanfics were movies". Ten years later, Jenny wins Best Director Oscar for "Yahtzee in Equestria".

[@Graknorke]

Now that's a masterpiece I've not heard mentioned in a long time.

[@fungusonus]

I’d watch that

[@brooketrotter18]

Trapped in a Island with Josh Hutcherson

[@chaos_wtch7437]

“We don’t wanna change too much of the script “ **few minutes later** “I propose Bane”

[@Victor-qx3vx]

Samir Rafayet I suppose his Mask would be a nice BDSM... thing.

[@rebelbelle1388]

I would watch the shit out of this movie if Bane was in it.

[@bromeohotague]

I want Mari from Smosh Games to play Bane.

[@tan_the_man]

That part killed me!

[@ophiliafox4268]

HE TURNS INTO A WEREWOLF

[@TheWanderingLPer]

Her username was SNOWQUEENICEDRAGON? Oof, you can just TELL she writes Twilight Fanfiction.

[@vaiyt]

What is a quee and what does have to do with nice dragons?

[@MorganArizona]

Issun McGoodmage BAD Twilight fanfiction.

[@janeeyre1990]

vaiyt You misunderstand, Snowquee is the name of a nice dragon.

[@mattjohnson380]

It's actually even better because it's Snowqueen's Icedragon.

[@diegorodrigues2685]

Kelsey Williams idk what you lot are on about... I’m still trying to figure out what’s an Iced Ragon

[@patrickgoggles7864]

Christian and Anastasia go on a train rider and guess who the conductor is? It's Jose! And then the train gets hijacked by Bane. Christian rips off his disguise and reveals that he in fact has been an undercover CIA agent all these years trying to get to Bane. And then Anastasia rips off her disguise and reveals that's she's been Bane's 2nd in command all these years. And then there is an epic 30 minute fight on top of the train.

[@skoomajoe6205]

Patrick Goggles How does Max Rebo in a leather jacket fit into all of this?

[@mobydicki9060]

50 Shades of Train: Fury Road?

[@notproductiveproductions3504]

Patrick Goggles *31 minuets

[@kayeherl9195]

Patrick Goggles I would watch this

[@weiyin8046]

jimmy scrambles plays the love interest

[@Kopp203]

" ...this age-old conflict between werewolves and BDSM obsessed billionaires", BWAHAHAHAAA!

[@MakiPcr]

I mean.....

[@timothymclean]

You can argue whether or not draining someone's blood counts as BDSM (I think it depends on whether it's safe, sane, and consensual, which it usually isn't), but vampires are almost always portrayed as wealthy.

[@karolineCPH]

Tale as old as time

[@sapphire230997]

@@timothymclean To be fair, what Christian does isn't exactly safe, sane, and consensual either.

[@jons5478]

lost it at "I propose Bane"

[@TheMeanMongoose]

"Nobody cared who I was until I put on the gimp mask."

[@ozzz55]

same wtf

[@guyr3618]

"Your punishment must be more severe" suddenly has a whole new meaning...

[@TheMeanMongoose]

Funnily enough there was a two episode story arc in Gotham that centered around a sadistic serial killer called the "Ogre" who was eerily similar to a certain Christian Grey. He seduced women and after sleeping with them locked them in a torture chamber and brutally killed them while whining about his traumatic childhood. A bit on the nose, but a nice Take That nonetheless.

[@wyrmh0le]

Nobody in the Batman universe works? No problem, just remember basic fanfic techniques and make it a crossover! Then the solution is obvious -- it's Bella! Don't worry that she's too boring for Batman to like, he'll fall in love with her the same way everyone else does -- because the script says so!

[@regularshowman3208]

The best way to rewrite Fifty Shades of Grey would be to make it a psychological horror/thriller where it ends with Anna beating the living manshit out of Christian with one of the toys from the playroom until he dies. I'd watch that.

[@oopsiethatsgay3203]

Hell yeah dude lol

[@noxtheowl7500]

The whole book series is a psychologigical nightmare of Bella- sorry. Anastasia. getting brainwashed and indoctrinated by Christian into this abusive relationship. Christian makes her think that it's bad to run away from him. She consents to sex with him, but the emptional manipulation alone in the books is bothering me because they are mistakingly seen as romance novels.

[@Flowtail]

I think that’s just the plot to _Killing Stalking,_ that manga/manhua

[@ReiAnikaAyanami]

@@Flowtail too bad it's not yoon bum who kills sangwoo

[@magdawerkmeister2422]

this is just like jeanne dielman

[@NixLaLoupe]

I need Jenny to narrate all the Twilight movies with the voices (and the sarcasm, obviously). I "need" it.

[@AtomicBananaPress]

I'd back a Kickstarter of a Wizard People, Dear Reader version of Jenny talking over Twilight

[@_gremlinboy]

I want it on DVD and to only watch that version ever

[@hellooperator6639]

"Two mean, stupid people tormenting each other." The best description.

[@avatareternal3204]

Should have been the tagline for all theee films.

[@petrfedor1851]

It sound much better than actual movie. Make it like psychological drama or (even better) dark comedy about two unlikeble people just doing absurdly bad things to each other.

[@nthgth]

Also sounds like a sitcom

[@ooodoood]

At some point you called Anastasia Bella. That is a perfect analogy for that movie series.

[@henriklarsen8193]

I laughed at that, yeah!

[@uneasywerewolf]

Henrik Larsen plus, you know, Fifty shades was rewritten from Twilight fanfiction

[@Arithryka]

she calls herself out after doing it a couple times and says "i can't believe i haven't done that already" which... she had :P

[@JohnDoe-vu8fi]

+tom dean Don't you ruin my fanfiction. It's fine.

[@sidious187]

tom dean how can we know how old she is?

[@Hablagrabla]

I love how your monotone voice and your creative humor plays of eachother. You're so frickin' deadpan-hilarious. Discovering you on youtube has brought me a healthy dose of happiness.

[@oof-rr5nf]

this comment is the sweetest

[@DrakenWolfwood]

Yeah her voice and delivery is what makes her so fucking hilarious. My first ever video of hers was the terrible Halloween costumes one and I was fucking dying

[@wildwesley9328]

My first video of hers was her reading Trigger Warning. I watched the entire thing despite it being over an hour. I have not laughed so hard in a long time

[@El1society]

Demon Days of Vinyl my first video was the greatest showman one. I’ve been binged watching a lot of her videos since then (it was like 3 days ago lol)

[@aw9005]

Her voice is perfect for the sarcasm. And when I just listen and don't watch the video I keep hearing Violet from the Incredibles.

[@razzmatazz5751]

The fact that James Corden did a skit a year later where Jamie Dornan has a model train room is suspicious.

[@theoneandonlymichaelmccormick]

Fuckin’ plagiarist.

[@dextercyanide8912]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/fXnTpJl4r5usnsU

[@SoVidushi]

Omg yes. That is too specific to be a coincidence.

[@luizamor4503]

jenny: we don't wanna change a ton of the script also jenny: anastasia wears a mink coat, christian is super into model trains, bane's there, werewolves

[@weneedaladder8384]

Don't forget recasting one of the two main characters.

[@timothymclean]

@@weneedaladder8384 Technically not a script change!

[@riqrimoli]

@@weneedaladder8384henry cavill, the critically acclaimed actor from batman v superman

[@rosslytle5700]

"There's no climax ... I'm not even gonna make a pun - because I'm so serious about this problem."

[@danielcrookston4966]

Stop it Jenny you're making me want to take up model trains as a hobby.

[@aaacomp1]

It's already been done. Sheldon owns that copyright.

[@deffdefying4803]

@@aaacomp1 I was waiting for a TBBT comment as soon as she said model trains

[@pentelegomenon1175]

@@aaacomp1 if only

[@jarvis8635]

You want to know what is worse when you get into trains AND Legos. There isn't enough money for a full steam train AND the Lego Millenium Falcon ;p

[@DorothyCarterArchive]

Simple solution: Replace the lead actor with Adam Sandler

[@NumeMoon]

No. Everyone knows this script woulda been meant for Chris Farley if not for his untimely death.

[@LetsStopThisSong]

I feel like it would be so much more enjoyable that way 😂

[@countcoventry3802]

Instead of Christian or Anastasia?

[@politowed]

count coventry both. like a jack and Jill situation.

[@candycane1744]

You mean Adam as Anastasia?

[@seamusgeryonos3497]

the model train thing is actually great because as someone who is involved with bdsm it’s honestly way more accurate to what doms are usually like than 50 shades

[@adrienneczerni6516]

Why be abusive when you could be an engineer? Choo choo!

[@TheFranchiseCA]

I'll take "Hobbies of Intricate Detail and Control" for $800, Alex.

[@Anna-md5nc]

We all know "protag is modest but her billionaire boyfriend keeps buying her diamond rings" is just the author going "I want my selfinsert to have diamond rings but I also dont want people to think im a golddigger"

[@jennyrodriguez811]

I know this is a 2 year old comment, but I would love to read more stories where a protagonist has those character traits, either selfishness, vanity, or simply liking getting gifts or luxury, not even in their fantasy story they let themselves go.

[@julesmasseffectmusic]

Her self insert is Christian.

[@Flowtail]

In my version of the story, Jacob Black has quantum lept into José's body and he recognizes the symptoms of a toxic relationship, but he gives up trying to get not-Bella out of the relationship and instead watches the metaphorical and literal idiotic fireworks while trying desperately to pass José's engineering courses.

[@FruitRat]

apparently the publishers made 50 shades because they could take a preexisting work with some fans, give it minimal editing and sell it for a quick buck. the fact it became so popular is supposedly super embarrassing for the publishers

[@MuttFitness]

Cherry Holley that happens more than publishers would like to admit.

[@deffdefying4803]

If publishers allow 50 Shades through the scrutiny process I now feel much better about my own capabilities as a writer.

[@geekygecko1849]

@Elvick nah, EL took down the fanfic version before it was published

[@lynnk-j9948]

@@geekygecko1849 ELJ may not be much of an author but its hard to fault her as a businesswoman!

[@geekygecko1849]

@@lynnk-j9948 true, she did make some serious Jack on this crap

[@nabila6716]

"i propose bane" lol i love her subtle sarcasm

[@LnPPersonified]

Still a better love story than Twi- Oh. Oh, wait.

[@reaganbartels9993]

In retrospect, Twilight was not *that* bad.

[@eshitasahu]

@@reaganbartels9993 thank you! Someone says it! I actually really like twilight and I hate the fact that it’s some sort of a taboo to like twilight, just because it’s audience is mainly teenage girls...

[@reaganbartels9993]

@@eshitasahu Yeah. The reason Twilight got so much hate was because it was popular with teen girls. I'm not even a Twilight fan, but it's refreshing to see people appreciating it now with a healthy amount of jokes and criticism.

[@eshitasahu]

@@reaganbartels9993 yeah....the twilight renaissance made the series...so much better...

[@Wveth]

Twilight is definitely not as bad as 50 Shades, but y'all are deluding yourselves if you think the hate comes just from the fact that it was popular with teen girls. In fact it shares a lot of the issues 50 Shades shares, by romanticizing abuse and even fucking pedophilia in the last novel; Jacob's THING with the newborn is one of the creepiest motherfucking things I have ever seen. Additionally, the prose is dull, the dialogue is unnatural (and occasionally contradicts the characterization established earlier), and most of the plot just kinda doesn't make much sense if you stop to think about it. Literally all of these things are much worse in 50 Shades though, and Twilight at least has some moments that are fun or dramatic in a silly, over-the-top kind of way.

[@sowhatphie]

The acting is horrible because the actors hate that they're apart of this 😂😂

[@Nionivek]

Yeah they are very cognoscente that this VERY well could be career suicide. They can't act TOO well, or else.

[@LACwriter]

This movie is the product of forcing a bunch of people who never wanted to get to know each other together in a room and not letting them out until they make a movie. It's like a reverse Mystery Science Theater 3000.

[@joselocalau123]

Dakota Johnson literally said that she gets drunk for the sex scenes, and Dornan does push ups

[@Wveth]

@@Nionivek Cognizant* As in cognition. :)

[@cvalentine5851]

Wveth As in “You are just in time to make this person cognizant of their mistake and help them fix their comment!” :P

[@racheltomevalenciahamilton6381]

I stumbled on this channel around a month ago and my goodness it's fantastic. You've got such a remarkable sense of comedic timing and it's such fun to have you guide me through your film reviewing thought proccesses, safe in the knowledge that when it comes to hitting those comedic notes, I'm in safe hands. My girlfriend's a big fan too. This video in particular was really great fun. The part about Jose coming to dinner totally cracked me up! Thanks so much for taking the time to make this great content!

[@Trollificusv2]

I used to think it was a little gimmicky, but no, her analyses, insights and humor are really that great, and the presentation and appearance are just an added bonus.

[@noalowenstein6741]

the gays love Jenny

[@c3ru1ean41]

@@noalowenstein6741 real

[@KreativeKill]

I dont know if I should laugh or cry at the Henry Cavill joke. So sad.

[@Blueeyesthewarrior]

I mean, this could have all been fixed by having an author who actually knows anything about the BDSM community. Like, instead of saying “I like hitting you because of my dead mom!” Christian just says, “I really like BDSM and it turns me on.” And Anastasia is like, “Well I like it too, but there’s some things that I don’t like.” And Christian is like, “Oh, okay. We can talk about your limits and your safeword.” And then kinky sex happens.

[@empressfreya9872]

God yes, this would have been so much better

[@partylikeits1066]

I don't think this is really unrealistic though. Gross, but not unrealistic. People's sexual interests are really often linked to other beliefs they have and facets of their personality, they just pretend they aren't and that particular sexual desires just spring up out of nowhere without context

[@secretname3897]

@@partylikeits1066 the problem isn't that it's unrealistic. People do that kind of thing all the time. The problem is that it's portrayed as totally commonplace dynamic in the community. Like, someone who has no knowledge of BDSM might watch it and come out the other side THINKING they have knowledge of BDSM. That's an issue, and could be hazardous in certain situations.

[@partylikeits1066]

@@secretname3897 sure yeah, I agree with that

[@Crosshill]

i feel like people who roleplay power dynamics and regularly takes them to their extremes, requiring immense amounts of introspection and empathy to balance in the bedroom with a great focus on mental and physical health and safety, might on average make for less frustrating sex fantasy movie characters, cause then when they are being terrible to one another it has to be done more realistically

[@Sensko]

Christian: "I am the conductor." Bane: *slowly pushes over the miniature locomotive* "Do you feel like a conductor?"

[@thequietman95]

“Considering I just watched someone else put my train on the ground … well, yeah” 😂

[@andrewrobinson4019]

So: Fifty Shades Darker is (now) a movie about a skeezy billionaire dating Cruella de'Ville, who is being stalked by Count Olaf, and also Bane is there. I'm in. 100% in. Also, holy cow. Speaking as a burgeoning model train enthusiast, an obsessive, anti-social, billionaire could do some *amazing* things with a model train set.

[@MissGamerVideo]

how to fix fifty shades darker: step 1: open script step 2: delete it

[@melissalarigan325]

Throw it in the trash.

[@Nick_Hammer]

"you merely adopted the BDSM, I was born to it."

[@BeefIngot]

I thought this was a reference to his abuse till I remembered the bane bit

[@lillianward2810]

A+++

[@PZLovell]

Hahaha! Sex dungeon room next to the train room-- sounds like you want someone a little more like Gomez from Addams Family, who was into BDSM and model trains. Come to think about it, Addams Family was a better love story than 50 Shades. Or Twilight, for that matter.

[@Nindrhu]

YES!! Gomez and Tish look like they should be voted Best Couple of the Universe compared to Christian and Anastasia. I mean seriously, when you make Gomez and Tish's marriage look perfectly normal and healthy, you're doing something wrong.

[@-cosmicrogue-]

Surma Wolfsoul Hey now, Gomez and Morticia's marriage was normal and healthy! They were honest, loving, and supportive partners. They had an active sex life, loved their children, and enjoyed participating in hobbies together. They just also happened to be eccentric millionaire freaks with a possibly undead butler.

[@gradientmapabuser9875]

Surma Wolfsoul their marriage was literally perfect though they loved each other so much, had 2 kids they were proud of, and make PDA 90% of the time they’re out of the house

[@secretname3897]

@@-cosmicrogue- say it louder for the people in the back!!! I've had this discussion so many times, they are such a great couple.

[@leannewho664]

the addams family is a better love story than most actual happy marriages

[@CassTeaElle]

Sorry to be "that girl" but... the twilight thing was wrong. The ring Edward gave to Bella was a family heirloom. I think it was his mother's wedding ring or something, which would make it a sentimental hand-me-down, which is totally something someone like Bella, not wanting fancy expensive things, would love. Anyway, hilarious video though.

[@arithearies1211]

Agreed. I watched this a year ago and watched this again, and I'm still screaming about it. Edward didn't buy the ring, I don't even think they resized it. It wad his mom's ring. The thing he bought Bella was a car-- which acutely makes sense though because safety.

[@bethanychatman9531]

I do remember that, but it's still stupid of Edward because his wife would still have to wear something that makes her uncomfortable. She doesn't like flashy things and giving something like a giant diamond encrusted ring and telling her it was your dead mother's is pretty manipulative.

[@reneedailey1696]

Point still stands though- The ring isn't Bella's style.

[@tommyestrada2986]

"Shame on you. You disgust me! Wait, I changed my mind. Let's do it again." lololololol

[@pvtgunny]

I... would actually watch 50 shades of Bane.

[@PeanutButterZombie00]

Personally, I won't be satisfied until there's a movie of My Immortal. Also, am I the only one who keeps thinking "Master of the Universe" should have been a He-Man fanfic?

[@zalaweyker8007]

There is. Internet historian made one.

[@Hellooo134]

When you said we need someone loveable and charismatic to play Christian Grey I instantly though danny devito

[@HameltheKamel]

I would LOVE to see AO3/Wattpad fanfics be made into blockbuster movies. Can you imagine "Trapped in an Island with Josh Hutcherson" movie with Josh Hutcherson himself?!

[@skeetsmcgrew3282]

I can honestly say the twist where the main character is also the villain, but nobody ever actually addresses this fact, would blow my mind in a theater. Like we are all used to the lost twin, or somehow identical cousins, etc. But how many movies have an actress play two characters with NO explanation? If it was shot properly, it could be seen as actually brilliant. Ever since I saw the video about that fanfic Ive been obsessed with that one so-dumb-its-brilliant plot twist

[@geoffreysorkin5774]

That wouldn't work. Josh Hutcherson would need to be played by Liam Hemsworth. Now, that would be a perfect movie.

[@TooLateForIeago]

Proposing Bane as an arch-villain caught me completely off guard, I couldn't not laugh.

[@trying2seebothsides987]

Dang Jenny - you have outstanding comic presentation, love the "straight-man" delivery and the "script doctor" concept for reviewing movies is ingenious and a lot of fun. My favorite of your rewrites: model trains and werewolves.

[@johnsmith-mv8hq]

When you said 'Snowqueen Icedragon' I thought you were making a joke spoofing elaborate web-handles. Turns out - you weren't. :/

john smith lol I Googled it too

[@Trollificusv2]

Thing is, I would figure that for a junior high-school students' avatar name, overly dramatic, completely lacking any literary or cultural substance or content. referencing nothing. The equivalent teen boys' online name would be Broadwulf Fireaxen or Orcsbane Deathbringer or Baron von Trollhewer or something similar. For a grown woman...well, it should be embarrassing, but then there's the lede "Twilight fanfic", so the embarrassment threshold can be presumed to be pretty high from the get go.

[@sleepysera]

@@Trollificusv2 To her defense - she might have been using that name for a long time already and just grew fond and nostalgic of it to the point where using any other just felt wrong. When I made my first KZbin account 12 years ago or so, I had no idea what to use as a username and just looked around the room for inspiration and saw a package of my favorite tea brand lying around...and went "Eh, guess that will do." It's been so many years, I don't drink that brand anymore, and remade the account, but something would feel wrong about changing the name at this point. So I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she maybe grew fond of the name as a much younger person and then just never wanted to get rid of it :)

[@TheHeavyshadow]

@@sleepysera Yeah, tell me about "Choosing an internet name when you're 12 and having to stick with it because you already used it almost everywhere."

[@erraticonteuse]

@@TheHeavyshadow Well, she wrote the fanfic in 2010 when she was like 46, so unless she had the internet in 1976, she hadn't been using that username since she was 12. Also, by her own admission it was only the second fanfic she ever wrote, so she really did pick "Snowqueens Icedragon" in her mid-40s.

[@uwot7673]

'My Immortal The Fanciction; The Movie'

[@vaiyt]

The Misery of Magic approves of this.

[@islandofideals6571]

HELLO MY NAME IS EBONY DARK'NESS DEMENTIA RAVEN WAY

[@Alexis-wg5nx]

IslandofIdeals *enoby

[@hatemteirelbar9510]

Can we PLEASE get a feature length film?!

[@missmadeleine1196]

Fifty shades of trains

[@murciadoxial8056]

the R rated sequel to thomas the tank engine

[@DrGregoryHouseIT]

The worst thing is, he CAN act (watch The Fall where he plays a realistic version of Gray). He apparently Just chose not to.

[@LordofFullmetal]

You realise the DIRECTOR tells the actor how to act, right? That's kinda part of the director's job. The actor doesn't usually get to choose how they portray the character outside of a certain point, unless it's fucking Ian Mckellan. By the time they're hired, the director has already decided what direction they want to take that character in.

[@fatyfarrell]

In a play school maybe.

[@bethanychatman9531]

@@LordofFullmetal mmmmm, that's kinda of simplified and generalized. They both play quit a significant role in bringing the character to screen/life. How the characters are written truly determine how far you can go within that story.

[@ytubeanon]

teaser for 3rd movie Superman: "I call this choo-choo train Martha" (sound of werewolf howling in background)

[@ElPayasoMalo]

The black tip of BB-8's antenna always makes me think there's something on my screen. When I can't scratch it off, I face palm for falling for it again.

[@cancerousgaminginc.6956]

I was texting for 5 seconds, and when I tune back in bane is part of the movie

[@smuffer852]

No offense to Jamie Dornan, but the way he acts is basically always being completely emotionless all the time. In EVERY SINGLE ROLE.

[@raven_rez1074]

Watch the fall, specially Stella interviewing Paul.

[@LulitaInPita]

He's basically the equvilant of Bella Swan from Twilight, which makes a lot of sense given this story started out as a Twilight fanfic.

[@LordofFullmetal]

That's not at all true in Once Upon a Time. Not sure what roles you've seen him in, but he gets quite a bit to work with in Once given he's killed off in season one.

[@sharipenn1183]

He was very good in Once Upon a time. He could have been a interesting character. But they killed him off. They sorta did something similar to Jefferson. But he just straight up disappeared. Now he's the Winter Soldier.

[@c17sam90]

He was great in the fall. But he was allowed to use his own accent

[@EternalGuardian07]

"This is my playroom." "Like your Xbox and stuff?" "Pfft. No! My model trains!" *Puts on conductor's hat* "ALL ABOARD! WOO WOO!" *Christian skips away, whistling the Thomas the Tank Engine* *Ana stands there like a bland protagonist* $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

[@Maria-qh6cl]

words cannot describe how much i would love this scene

[@ashe767]

The biggest issue I have with this movie is how it seems to say BDSM itself is bad. There's that one scene where Ana and Grey are arguing over whether to get back together, and she basically says he's a terrible person for liking it, and he says "I'm working on it," so he agrees? There's this reveal that *gasp* he's not actually a dom, he's a _sadist,_ and that's super horrible but... sado-masochism is literally in the acronym BDSM, and is fine with consent and trust? If the writers are condemning BDSM, what are they saying about the audience who was drawn to the franchise because it's a kinky BDSM movie? The fact that Ana can't seem to decide if she's kinky is just icing on the cake.

[@roselover411]

I think Jamie Dornan did a great job as Graham in Once Upon a Time, so my thoughts are that he, like Dakotah, hated this role so much he could not bring himself to try any harder than necessary.

[@lynnk-j9948]

roselover411 Scripts were so lame. Does EL James' husband even like her?!

[@sovandeprins2663]

IM DEAD AFTER THE WHOLE "here is the sex dungeon room and here is the Model train room" like Tbh I would watch that i wish he had a weird obsession with trains

[@sovandeprins2663]

As im watching this, fifth shades is on the tv and my moms husband is watching it alone... kill me

[@sourwitch2340]

4:23 Additionally a hobby such as liking trains would easily work to intensify his characterisation for him to enjoy not just sexual dominance but also the idea of controlling people in general which he can fulfil by taking control of the tiny human statues on a table.

[@blowtorchacurlyfry1]

Did James Corden see this video? Jamie dornan literally did a parody where the red room is full of trains.

[@josephfraser8914]

how is jenny able to be so funny with so little presentation? she's literally sitting on hr bed talking and yet i can't stop watching. honestly she's one of the most charismatic personalities on youtube

[@wokeaf1242]

""Everybody want Anastasia dead, and I don't just mean the viewers." I had to stop the video because I laughed so hard. The delivery and the line was brilliantly executed within the context of the video. This young lady should be writing for SNL or anything similar. She'd improve their comedy by a factor of 10,000. (SNL's comedy needs to be improved because it's reached a sad "emperor's new clothes" status where everyone kinda-sorta admit SNL's naked via passive aggressive backhanded compliments. i.e. "Did you see that one memorable 90 second thing on that 90 minute show" because it's the only memorable thing on a show that asks you to invest 90 minutes of you're life to only give back 90 seconds of anything justifying that investment. It like investing $90 but only getting back .90 then bragging "See, my investment was justified.") I don't know what your career goals are Jenny Nicholson, but you're a naturally excellent comedian and I hope you give that a go because I'd support the heck out of it. You're are so talented I'm actually jealous. (Don't worry, won't be popping up at any of your masquerade parties, I look awful in a costume.) Keep doing what you do.

[@defiantaichi]

where is this comment going...............

[@pesticide271]

this is such a wholesome comment i love it

[@user-sr5vu5lz8k]

Here’s the thing Jamie Dornan actually can act. He’s not incredibly charismatic but he is a good actor. Unfortunately he keeps getting cast as “incredibly unlikable man with abs” and he does not have the charisma to pull that off

[@VideoGuy232]

I saw him in a British cop drama as a serial killer, and he was pretty good in that. That role played to his strengths as an actor, the cold intensity specifically

[@geoffreysorkin5774]

@@VideoGuy232 I mean, in The Fall he is pretty much playing Christian Gray, but a serial killer and not a billionaire. Excuse me, I mean, in The Fall he is pretty much playing Christian Gray, but not a billionaire.

[@nanya992]

Jenny: Wait, I just called her Bella. Honestly I'm surprised I haven't done that already. Also Jenny: 8:51

[@emilyhanson96]

I really thought you said "McSignals" instead of "mixed signals."

[@agentstache135]

Oliver McSignals, Jimmy Scrambles’ archival from space boarding school turned lover

[@nthgth]

🤣🤣

[@ferleal24]

Fifty Trains of Gray, would watch

[@hazelnutt999]

Haha at 8:53 you call her 'Bella' you're the best.

[@samanthaelizabeth8330]

The multiple Freudian “Bella” slips are hilarious and so telling

[@beartankoperator7950]

i want count olaf to be in it just because

[@malucos00]

"Everyone wants Anastasia dead... ... and not just the viewers" ME

[@ravenprince1]

Definitely blame the author for throwing out her first Director and Scriptwriter who saved the first film by rewriting the plot and making it sorta kinda plausible story where as this second shows the author's true ineptness at character and plot development and over storytelling in general. I shudder at the clunkyness of this story... You cracked me up with your "train room" comment :) .. and the comment "Conflict between Werewolves and BDSM billionaires" Sexy Werewolves no less.... :)

[@radiobob1908]

Director: "So, what are your thoughts on the story?" Jenny: "Yeah, it could use one, for sure."

[@shanshan8687]

You roast the hell out of these books and movies and your delivery is so casual, sarcastic, and a touch dry. It’s wonderful. You’re wonderful

[@christscrackers647]

This is the very best review of fifty shades i've ever seen in my life. Awesome stuff.

[@SunlessNick]

"I propose Bane" cracks me up every time.

[@daggerbc3023]

i should be asleep

[@ConnorJ97]

Wolf Tickets sleep is for the weak

[@poochy]

Wolf Tickets yeah me too

[@CelebrimborCurufinwe]

Have to say love the implication here that, if we go off the logic of the franchise (such as it is) that either Anastasia or Christian has dated and dumped Bane in the past

[@Mylo8328]

Let’s just take jack Hyde and turn him full Jekyll and Hyde, like he injects himself with a magic potion and turns beast mode and goes on a killing rampage in the streets of London

[@gdaleney1977]

absolute mad lad

[@TheDuchessFox]

My opinion on the fifty shades franchise is if you cut out the sex and added an evil twin somewhere you could air these on daytime tv as a three episodes of a soap opera

[@IsomerMashups]

I'm binging your videos right now. Definitely subscribing. These are amazing and hilarious.

[@TaekoZ]

You fangirled hard at saying Henry Cavill, also Christian has the description of a serial killer.

[@dbartholemewfox]

That was a joke. She made a whole video about how Henry Cavill was terrible in Batman v Superman

[@uneasywerewolf]

Dan Fox exactly, it was good deadpan humour

[@christopherleveck6835]

uneasywerewolf I second that, had to go back and watch the movie again, and she was right. I laughed Everytime his scenes came up.....

[@TaekoZ]

Dan Fox I didn't see that video but I will now.

[@Rubiecat]

yep, 'critically acclaimed actor from Batman v Superman' is a pretty obvious joke since nothing in this film was critically acclaimed lol

[@blackparadoxx9656]

Want to improve the Fifty Shades Darker script??? Then set in on fire and watch it burn to a fucking crisp. You're welcome. Eat Arby's.

[@Mcrawf21]

mmm roast beef.

[@anunaskedforopinion]

I have watched this video so many times that I forgot that Christian being into model trains was a thing that Jenny made up and that's not actually canon. 😂

[@oops6876]

17:39 “ I just realized I said Bella... I can’t believe I haven’t done that already.” You had, Jenny. lmao

[@HowlingWolf4545]

ok, first time watching this and the second you were like “he needs a normal hobby” my brain was like ‘model trains.’ I think i’ve watched so many of your videos I’m absorbing your brain waves through the screen

[@MrFindX]

Another great video

[@ShinySephiroth1]

I was imagining Henry Cavill with a toy train room. Thank you.

[@anonthe-third2367]

Henry is just as wooden of an actor as that guy to be fair.

[@TheFranchiseCA]

Cavill is really into Warhammer, including painting his own figurines.

[@CC-ce8md]

still cant believe james corden ripped off the model train room idea for his stupid show

[@emilypeduto981]

jenny is trying harder to fix fifty shades of gray than anastasia tried to fix christian gray.

[@earthtokiwi8934]

THE TRAIN PROPOSAL IS ADORABLE, GET THIS GIRL A JOB IN THE NEXT FIFTY SHADES OF GREY MOVIE I NEED TO SEE CHRISTIAN PLAYING WITH CHOO CHOO TRAINS

[@Carlos-ln8fd]

what drives me mad is that Dakota Johson (who plays Anastasia) is such a great actress. she was flawless in the one scene she had in The Social Network and plenty of other stuff too. the facts that she's stuck in this trainwreck is so incredibly depressing.

[@deffdefying4803]

@@markiangooley Shocking how children often look like their parents

[@idontcare6736]

You should talk to Ralph Sepe about Cyber Seduction.

[@mary-ng9uz]

That's what I thought when she brought up cyber seduction.

[@sydneyhuff6976]

Some fanfiction is MASTERFUL and absolutely is amazing and publisher quality. In fact reading fanfiction has risen my standards of published media. 50 shades of gray is not one of them. I remember reading it back in the day. My friend sent it to me and I couldn’t even get through it because of how badly it was written. It was such self inserted nonsense

[@Liam-rn1qb]

I love that at 8:50 she slips and calls Anastasia "Bella" because they're essentially the same character

[@SeveralAnts]

I sprayed water out of my mouth laughing at how after rattling off a rap sheet of Christian's progressively more horrifying sins, your face lit up when you talked about him playing with little trains. That was a brilliant whiplash moment.