Are There Too Many 'Labels'? // Part 2 [CC]

[@SarahBent]

The thing about not having labels is that people will give you a label anyway. My background is in Early Childhood Education and children start building their own labeling categories as soon as they start to talk. (That's how you get cuteness like Boo from Monsters Inc. calling Sully "Kitty".) My Dad was very against labeling my son when I had him evaluated for ADHD. But I have seen my father's report cards and mine. And they say things like 'daydreamer' 'lazy' and 'chatterbox'. I'd rather choose my own labels than allow the world at general to decide.

[@bifurioussiren]

I agree. I'd rather label myself and get stereotyped through that, then have someone else define me with labels they choose that will also still have stereotypes attached. As someone with ADD, it was so helpful and freeing and important that I had that label. I have the inattentive type, which is more common in women, not hyperactivity, so it wasn't caught until my senior year of high school. Once I knew it made everything make sense, why I could have really good grades in some subjects but do miserable in others because I couldn't pay attention. My dad would say "you're too smart for these grades!" and yell at me, I just thought I was lazy but it was really executive dysfunction, which I didn't even understand until a couple years ago, much later after my initial diagnosis and I only understood it because of people talking about executive dysfunction on the internet. Having ADD is so much more complex than "can't focus" and it's important that people take it seriously. It can also come with hyperfocus, which happens to me a lot, and it was part of the reason I went undiagnosed. Because of my diagnosis I was able to get disability help and services at college like extra time on tests in a separate room from everyone else, a note taker who would take notes and anonymously send them to the teacher who would forward them to me, and more. I NEEDED that to get the most out of my education and I couldn't have gotten any of it without the ADD label. I also got extra time on my SAT test, which helped tremendously. I wouldn't want someone to see me and assume the things I do are because I'm lazy or I don't care or any other reason when I know that there's a clear and defined reason I am the way I am and it's partly due to ADD. It's an important part of who I am.

[@seeduboyou]

💌

[@LieutenantSheep]

Absolutely, whether we like labels or not they exist and they can actually be helpful and validating. I worked at an overnight camp and we had a camper who displayed a lot of the signs of ASD. They had preoccupations, fears, tempers, and struggles that made their day very difficult for them to live. Their guardians, however, REFUSED to have them evaluated for any of their struggles, fearing the child would be “labeled” so they weren’t able to get help for any of their challenges that made life exhausting and upsetting. Now they’re in their teens, about 16 or 17, and haven’t learned any coping strategies and likely facing very similar struggles. If their guardians were willing to have their child “labeled”, they could have actually gotten help and accommodations to make life a lot better

[@Foxtrick]

my dad was the same way. he saw it as "they think my daughter is retarded" rather than "my daughter has problems learning things and needs skills to overcome those problems.". however, i still had teachers and classmates that labeled me as "stupid" and "weird"...

[@sarahwithstars]

You are loved 💜❣️

[@SystemofEleven]

"Pineapple: objectively the worst fruit ever. Fight me." Alright, let's do this! Flimsy wrist, dislocated shoulder, off-balance wheelchair boxing match, GO! Our caretakers can be the refs!

[@clarascats1365]

Lol

[@mayaklast6334]

Yeah... I mean, let's be real people : kaki is definitely the worst one. It's green and astringent and two days later it takes that overriped taste with that awful texture. Kaki is the worst.

[@jaydedagnolo8130]

Pineapple is the bomb

[@LifeLostSoul]

As a person who has literally ate an entire pineapple for dinner more than once.... Jessica does seem to have about 75 medical conditions that ridiculously restrictor her diet. I can see how a fruit that able-bodied people can have issues eating because of the enzymes in the pineapple that cause lips and tongue to tingle or go numb and eating pineapple can cause a particular type of Phytobezoars, called a diospyrobezoars, that are more difficult to treat. There is also a weird history of pineapples being used by western culture during imperialism as like a symbol of the exotic, wealth, and conquering those foreign lands, and why it's like still used in home decor. So she probably has a good reason or 2 not to like pineapples, and their is probably no changing her mind. But I would definitely have to argue that there are quite a few fruits much worst then pineapple, like most of them... Also OMG amazing joke 😂! I love when people from within their own communities make jokes about their own lives and are actually able to have interesting details, understanding, and insight.

[@Meeeeeeeeeeeeh34]

Honeydew, the answer is honeydew....

[@beepmeepxoxo]

“Breaking your record as the ‘easy child’ by sharing with your parents that you’re questioning your gender” hit waaaay to close to home

[@bobhendricks4024]

As a village / clubbie elder, I find myself very ignorant about labels, especially regarding gender and sexuality. My generation didn’t have many, which I’m sure made it very hard for many people to find their community. So, please be patient with us old folks, what may be taken for rejection or judgement may just be confusion born of ignorance. I’m very learned, but I find many of the labels hard to understand. I have no history with the terms. So as Steve said, I’m very interested to learn about labels, but telling me what you’d like to be called or referred to is a big help!

[@justabitofamug6989]

Everytime I say that a male character is hot someone says 'well you must me bisexual then, not a lesbian'. No, I'm not saying I'm sexually attracted or romanticly attracted to them, I'm just saying I find them aestheticly pleasing. I identified as bi for a long time because I was scared of being who I was and it absolutely grinds my gears when people try to shove me back into that box and back into the closet because they think I fit into it when I don't

[@rootsdamnseason7032]

oof, i can relate. straight women obsess over women in bikinis on instagram and that's accepted, but when we lesbians say that a random man is handsome, suddenly the whole world starts questioning our identity. i can find a child pretty, a tree beautiful, and my dog gorgeous, but that certainly doesn't mean i am sexually or romantically attracted to either of them. people really hate lesbians and don't understand how women who don't fancy men at all can exist and that pisses me off to no end

[@FoxrosePettipaw]

As a gay guy who occasionally finds certain women very aesthetically pleasing - dare I say, attractive - I completely get you. My dad said to me once I came out as gay that he had hoped that I just hadn't found my type yet. And when I disclosed to others these certain types of girls I found aesthetically pleasing they'd say, oh well see you're bisexual or straight you just hadn't found your 'type' until now. But what that completely ignores is the billion trillion other times I've found men attractive. Just because I find one type of women attractive doesn't make me suddenly bi or straight XD And by the way, every girl I've found 'attractive' looks like a boy so there's that too haha

[@adushack1982]

I think that's silly. Beauty doesn't have a gender. Beauty is Beauty.

[@Dutchandfrench]

This is exactly what happens when I say anyone is 'hot' because I'm ace, but all I really mean is that I am aesthetically attracted to them. Like, I can acknowledge that someone is pretty without wanting to sleep with them.

[@kaworunagisa4009]

Exactly. I'm exclusively sexually/romantically attracted to females (regardless of gender identity) but I also happen to be a yaoi & slash fan, and I do find some males aesthetically pleasing. Yet the world at large thinks that if I like looking at 2 fictional guys 'going at it' I must be straight, not even bi. It's ridiculous.

[@alexp7016]

Are there too many labels? 18 minutes and 44 seconds of Jessica simply saying “No!!”

[@xerxies8947]

And she was right!

[@carpiioo.806]

AHAHAHA... AND I LISTENED TO IT ALL AND I LOVED IT... i would listen to Jessica just saying anything i love her voice🥺🥺💖

[@carpiioo.806]

AHAHAHA... AND I LISTENED TO IT ALL AND I LOVED IT... i would listen to Jessica just saying anything i love her voice🥺🥺💖

[@laurena9563]

Labels are incredibly important to me. Growing up as a '90s kid, there was really no representation of asexuality in modern media. There still isn't very much; but the fact that I know that there's a label for what I feel inside as opposed to being objectively 'nothing' makes me feel very proud, even if it's just my own little corner of the non-heteronormative umbrella :)

[@bubblegum-uo5pf]

hey can i recommend you something? i don't know if you read manga, but there's an lgbtq+ manga called shinanami tasogare (english title: our dreams at dusk). it has a canonically ace character, and is written and illustrated by a nonbinary asexual person!

[@funkyfranx]

nyx! I’m ace too, I love manga, I’ll check that one out! thank you

[@laurena9563]

@@bubblegum-uo5pf I don't know why I just saw this comment but thank you so much!

[@stormRed]

'Feelings don't have edges like words do'

[@snaxicakes]

That was such a beautiful way to describe it right!? ❤️

[@flootzavut30daychallenge]

Yesssss. I hate when people act like you can slot all human beings into neat little pigeonholes with one (1) label each. Humans just don't work like that.

[@crispcinamonroll2310]

I am aromantic asexual. When "coming out" I don't use these labels right away. I feel like they'd alienate me, making me seem weird. I instead give examples that they understand and let them form their own ideas about aromantism & asexuality rather than the prejudice ideas that automantically come with my labels. I think labels can be good but It depends on the label. For instance, medical labels and my labels aren't the same. One has more importance and more of an impact than the other.

[@chrishandy9172]

Jessica, while I disagree with you on the subject of pineapple I see no reason to fight you over it. I will just eat your portion of the global supply so that the fruit needn't botger you anymore. Plus I love pineapple. Everyone wins.

[@Me-wk3ix]

Especially on pizza!

[@ChrisPage68]

@@Me-wk3ix NEVER! Bunch of savages.... 😉

[@GoVocaloider]

I love your comment. I dislike pineapples too, so you can have my share as well, if you'd like. 😂

[@Eco_Hiko]

Such a sweet comment. Just like a pineapple. :)

[@juniperraven1386]

I will help you with these offered shares. The only food I understand eating even knowing it might be painful.

[@sunnybugz]

WAIT when you said "I believe in you" I actually almost started crying?? Even though it's not related in any way to what I'm going through, hearing those words from someone I look up to made me weirdly emotional- [tw ED mention] I've been struggling with my mental health and my eating disorder recovery and you and your channel has been one of the few things pushing me to recover :') so thank you for that. Anyway that was probably a weird tangent so-

[@snaxicakes]

Me too! ❤️

[@bobhendricks4024]

anastasia louise it is powerful to hear that! I’m glad you found her! She has helped me a lot with similar issues.

[@hollybollybingbong_]

I wish you luck with your recovery

[@ayoderable]

Jessica really got me with that one too... she is just so sincere! Sending you good vibes for your mental health journey 😊

[@hollybollybingbong_]

At the end of the day, someone else's identity does not disrespect your existence. Gatekeeping gets us nowhere.

[@jacquiz.6837]

I’ve noticed that on the internet, us LGBT people can get wrapped up in discussing labels more than actual politics. There are so many discussions to be had about tearing down homophobic and transphobic systems around the world. And picking the perfect label for myself (or trying to police the labels that others use) isn’t going to make substantive change!

[@SamirCCat]

Exactly!! It's waaay too much focus on labels, the existence and questioning of micro labels and what they mean and how their history evolved etc. I would find it a lot more efficient if we as LGBTQ+ community just used broad umbrella terms with plenty of wiggle room and not devided ourselves into oblivion and had fights whether pan or bi is the actual transphobic label... We have a lot more IMPORTANT things to do!! Don't waste energy with gatekeeping or fighting against gatekeeping within the community, when you can fight death penalty for same-sex relations and gender variation in the middle east and Africa!!

[@pendafen7405]

Got it in one. This terminally-online fuckery is perfect distraction tactic Tr0jan weaponised by the anti-gay to weaken the side. It's so frustrating that almost everyone in the community seems to be falling for the ploy and can't see through it.

[@asleepywitch7175]

“It’s hard to break glass ceilings, it’s hard to fight inequality and it’s hard to be different but small steps lead to big change. You have a light within you and you can follow it’s path. I believe that and I believe in you” Gosh I needed that; thank you, Jessica! 💗

[@sunnybugz]

"other people's labels do not invalidate you" THIS !! basically all week I've been being told that I'm "ruining the definition of lesbian" and that I'm "forcing lesbians to date me" (which I'm DEFINITELY not, my girlfriend is very happy with me) all because I'm nonbinary. But,,, I AM a lesbian. I always have been. And I don't know why people think that I'm inherently wrong or even 'evil' for identifying as a lesbian and nonbinary. I know that's who I am, and random people harassing me on instagram isn't going to change that? My label does not invalidate other lesbians, and it doesn't invalidate other nonbinary people. It just validates and describes ME.

[@momoredel2295]

I really don’t mean to be rude but I’m a little confused. Because you’re nonbinary, doesn’t that mean you’re not a “man” or a “women”. How can you be lesbian if you don’t identify as a female? Sorry, I googled it but I still don’t get it.

[@madelineshrimp]

anastasia louise yeah i also don't understand. how can you be a lesbian if the definition of it is "women who love women" ? (i'm definitely not trying to attack you by the way i genuinely want to know)

[@sunnybugz]

@@momoredel2295 it's okay, thanks for being polite about it !! See, I identify as female aligned. So while I'm not fully a woman, i'm definitely closer to a woman than I am a man. My gender sits somewhere in between neutral and female (perhaps check out the term demigirl !! while I don't use it, it explains my gender), so I feel comfortable identifying as a lesbian because I'm at least partially female. Thank you for asking instead of attacking me 😅

[@Cherri_Stars]

I'm so sorry people are saying such mean things to you. As a lesbian myself, I am happy to have you in the club!

[@Cherri_Stars]

Nonbinary lesbians are awesome, and it's so wrong of people to try to gatekeep an entire orientation like that

[@WritingSch]

I think the problem with ‘but they might stereotype us!’ is the fault of other people. Whether I label myself disabled has nothing to do with whether or not people will see me as such. I can refrain from labeling myself bisexual, but it won’t stop people from judging me for liking people of the same and different genders. In fact, not adopting the bi identity could even cause people to tell me I am confused or greedy or in the closet without knowing. It is better to have my own understanding of my identity than to let others try to give input. Saying ‘I’m bi’ gives a name to my experience which is empowering

[@Aceamzing]

I've never heard demisexuality pronounced that way and I'm shook.

[@rubygross7684]

Abby Haha, yeah. Full respect to that person, but I’ve always heard “Deh-mee” not “Dee-mee”

[@erika2_2]

xD I don't think she pronounced it right, but every time she said demisexuality my face went 👁👄👁

[@phreyah]

I'm Swedish and I thought it was dee-my and I'm shook to the core by all these possibilities.

[@amandalam7272]

That was me! I'd never heard it pronounced aloud until Jessica's last video. I thought "oops....." (bc I sent the video in a few weeks ago) 😅

[@LeaoraRanica]

@@amandalam7272 it's your label, say it how you like! :)

[@crunchypuddinghere]

Labels are like lumps of clay rather than a slab of concrete. I have no idea how to describe this in a way that makes sense. So, take it as you will.

[@erraticonteuse]

It makes sense to me. People are constantly shaped by their life experience and inexplicable random fluctuations in tastes, they're not hardened in a mold and stay that way forever. Even if the gender(s) you're attracted to never changes, you can still experience fluctuations in what you find attractive within that gender. Lithe, willowy men might do it for someone for years, but next thing they know, they have a huge muscly boyfriend. A label without any room to accommodate those fluctuations is not useful to the person experience them.

[@SalemElectro7]

That’s actually a lovely way to describe it. Makes perfect sense 👍

[@niallblack2794]

The fact that this description makes perfect sense probably says more than you think it does!

[@arsonlemonade4386]

Like labels are flexible?

[@amandalam7272]

I'm the Amanda from the video. I do recognize I pronounced "demisexual" incorrectly. 😅 (I mispronounce many words I've only seen in print.) It's deh-mee, oops.

[@floopyboo]

I loved your clip. We all have our word fumbles. Yours made the clip a talking point, so that's fantastic because demisexuality doesn't get much attention and you're helping fix that. :)

[@jessicaoutofthecloset]

Thank you so much for your video submission Amanda xxx

[@Chikorita2Chante]

I'm demi too, thanks for throwing your viewpoint into the video! ♡

[@DavidBeddard]

Pronunciation evolves, words change spelling and meaning and English orthography is ludicrous anyway. "Deemee" is a mutation, a natural part of evolution. If the X-Men comics were a thesis on linguistics, you'd be a superhero. Besides, "pronunciation shaming" is petty and could well be symptomatic of displaced aggression so it's not worth taking to heart. More importantly, thank you for your valuable contribution to the video; I found it particularly helpful.

[@Scorpio8116]

Thank you for making a video about it! I'm in my 20's and still struggling with whether I'm asexual or demisexual (I barely learned the term a year ago), so it feels re-assuring to hear it defined by someone who identifies with it.

[@dangreen3868]

I think labels are confusing. They're important, but they're not the most important thing. My little sister told me the other day she likes girl, and the first thing I told her was to not worry about labels like lesbian or bisexual or pansexual yet. She's 11. It wouldn't help her to put a specific label on her feelings. I told her about the word sapphic, meaning a girl who likes girls. That's a label that won't put her into a box, but acknowledges her feelings towards girls. My first advice for anyone questioning their gender is to not worry about labels and think about what they want. What pronouns do they wanna use, what name, how do they feel. Labels are important for community and representation, but when figuring yourself out it's best to focus on your own feelings and not get too worried about labels.

[@caitie226]

Really good advice!

[@gisela_oliveira]

Thats such a good advice, I have a friend that is my age (19) and I don't think she actually knows what she is. For having all kinds of friends (straight, gay, pansexual, cis, trans, etc) I think she became confused about what she is. She had never even kiss someone, but is constantly "gassing" her sexuality, just based in how other people interact with her and what she sees around her.

[@TristianBlake]

I wish I remember where I saw it, but I love the summary that labels are like boxes: as any cat will tell you, being put into one is a very different experience from choosing one for yourself.

[@flootzavut30daychallenge]

I LOVE that 😄

[@linkfan160]

That person who doesn't want to come out as Bi because she's married to a man and therefore "there's no point" oof that struck a chord with me. Yes, I think that as long as YOU know who you are and what you identify as, that's the most important part. But there's a part of me that doesn't feel like I can authentically be myself because if I tell people I'm Bi but I'm dating a man, I'm scared they might not believe me or think I'm faking it for attention. And I feel embarassed for coming out to the people I have because I made a big deal about it only to end up in a long-term relationship with a man (who I love btw) but it's just such a frustrating orientation to have sometimes for this reason. I often wish I was simply straight or gay because it would be so much easier to explain and defend. For this reason, I feel like I'm only partially out of the closet. It's a very confusing place to be.

[@anmarbhchrios]

I oofed right along with you, because I am in the same situation :/

[@rootsdamnseason7032]

i'm really sorry you don't feel like you're valid enough to come out of the closet. you're bi whether you've only dated men or women as well. however, i can assure you that being gay isn't easier. as a lesbian, i don't have a choice but to come out. i can't relate to straight people when they talk about the 'opposite gender', but you can. in a way, you can relate to the majority and seemingly fit in without lying when i can't. you can choose to hide a part of yourself -which you shouldn't have to- when homosexuals don't have that luxury and safety. fight to be more accepted, but don't say that it would be easier to be gay.

[@WritingSch]

shakesfear_e I don’t think they meant it would be easier to be gay in general l. The main issue I see is that people in straight and gay communities typically understand what being gay means, whereas bi people may always have to explain and defend their orientation to others, even in the LGBT community (although this improving a lot since the 90s) I think both being gay and bi can pose challenges and difficulties with finding people to relate to and with understanding yourself.

[@marieb6463]

@UCrtwdzLXOPq66CFwLmhUjCw I feel this in the depth of my heart haha

[@damilolasokoya1266]

I feel the exact same was as you. It honestly makes me question myself i just hope that I can get to a place where I don’t care how ppl see me.

[@lalaillustrator6295]

I know the subtitles on your video are mainly there for people who are hard of hearing or deaf, but I just wanted to say a big thank you for them ! As an autistic person, they really help me understand the video when I have auditory processing difficulties. 'Autistic' is a label that I don't disclose in public, I only use it anonymously and I with other autistics (and my partner) because it has such a huge stigma attached to it. I don't want to be held back or mocked because of it. But it really helps with understanding who I am and how I can manage my difficulties. It's also one that I don't use in public because one day it won't be noticeable at all and the next it'll be really disabling... and I don't want people's expectations to influence me. I would worry that I have to prove to them why this label is right, or to prove that I'm more than just that. But in private, it really really helps :)

[@stephanieluvisi2418]

this put my feelings into such perfect words!

[@jellyfishathogwarts]

I love the subtitles too... for no reason except that I like reading.

[@LaurenMorley]

"Feelings don't have edges like words do." I love this. Perfectly put.

[@finn2459]

I feel like a lot of people (especially on the internet) forget that labels are not for anyone else. They are for you. It is up to you to share those labels if you feel comfortable. You should never have to explain yourself for why you chose those labels because they are yours. They describe who YOU are. No matter what anyone else thinks.

[@darkacadpresenceinblood]

Amanda put my thoughts into words perfectly. You usually have to build on them to make something that fits you better, but they're still a great starting point. It's like your identity is a house. You can start building it up from scratch (trying to explain yourself without labels) and then the house will most definitely be unique to you. Or you can buy a house (label) which, if you don't decorate and paint it and make it unique to you, will feel uncomfortable to live in, but if you do, it's just as unique and fitting as the one you could have built - but you don't have to work with building it, just the finishing touches!

[@GoVocaloider]

What an interesting metaphor the house example is! You can either take the templates that is offered to you by your community and jazz them up to better fit you, or build your own which will fit you to a T.

[@amandalam7272]

Thank you! Your words are even better than mine were :)

[@itzelmarquez1528]

"We´ve made up words for feelings, but feelings don't have edges like words do." What a beautiful thing to say.

[@sunnybugz]

I'm so sick of being told that I don't "look like a lesbian" or "look nonbinary" because im femme. Vintage dresses and bright coloured makeup don't change my Identity !!

[@martha-hy7vq]

💯💯💯💯!!!!

[@lokiscoffeerose663]

I have a couple related issues that I guess will come in time with self-acceptance: I would definitely present more masculine if I knew I would be referred to with the correct pronouns, but as of now, those who love me and live with me see me only as female. On the other side of things, I would be more confident presenting feminine if I felt that it wouldn't be seen by others as a way to invalidate my gender identity. It's a cycle

[@bifurioussiren]

@@lokiscoffeerose663 wow, that's so interesting and very frustrating. my heart goes out to you. I definitely think that gender performance or presentation should be separated from gender identity. Just like how a woman can be a "tomboy" while still being a straight woman, literally any other combination is also possible and valid. How you dress and behave like within gender expression, are entangled in identity, sure, but they're still separate spectrums. To me, seeing each one on a separate spectrum helps me to understand myself and others better. So for the tomboy woman for example, their gender identity is a woman so from 1-10 with 1 being female and 10 being male they're a 1 or 2, and for gender expression/performance they're an 8-10. If this woman is also a straight woman and 1 is straight with 10 being gay, they'd be a 1. That to me, is even more helpful than specific labels,because you can pick a different number for each spectrum AND the numbers can change whenever you want or whenever you feel they change. Like how genderfluid people will say that some days they're an 8 and other days they're a 2. And that's ok. Now of course the word and label "tomboy" is super outdated and somewhat unhelpful on it's own, which is why I think we should stop using it to describe women who dress or act more masculine. But I felt I needed to use the word here to get my point across.

[@straberryshinigami15g97]

much love from another nb!!!! I don’t really see myself as “masc” or “femme”, but it’s really annoying that people think that you can’t wear dresses / like makeup if you’re nb. we’re not all androgynous

[@phantomHands-]

femme presenting nb lesbians rise up

[@notbroken4342]

I sure can relate to Alex. As a queer autistic person with some invisible disabilities I am running out of spoons to cope with the bullying I have encountered in groups because of label policing.

[@lisam5744]

I am a very private person and my labels for my disabilities (PTSD and auditory processing disorder) are only known by a few. I've found that while some people (friends/family) are understanding, helpful, allowance-making for the magic that is me, :-) some aren't and will use the labels as something against me. I'm very selective as to who I tell what.

[@Silvanfan]

I’m so glad you came out with this. I’m one of the persons who doesn’t like labels. I’m mixed race, and I spent a lot of time as a child being told which racial group I belonged to (or neither). Then being bisexual, with the existence of biphobia, I feel like I have to fight to belong to the LGBT community because I’m not with another woman. I’m a gamer, but I don’t play all genres of video game. I also could call myself a cis woman, but what is “woman”? I have a vagina but not a period, I have breasts but so does my boyfriend I guess? And I don’t want kids. Labels can be a guide, but really not necessary for me.

[@wynjones2877]

I agree with Sarah on most points. I now refer to myself as pan, because bi- just felt too binary. "I like men or women" implies that I wouldn't consider a relationship with a trans person. I realized when I was 12 years old that I was attracted to a person, not their gender.

[@pierrerutten]

Well thank you Jessica! Without labelling this discourse I finally find my thoughts on this acknowledged. I also think labelling is a way to co-op with the world around you. I'm from the fifties and labelling was I way "to make the world go round". Luckily you too described that labels are as fluid as people!

[@cameron9177]

"you may worry about breaking your record as 'the easy child' by sharing with your parents that actually your questioning your gender" i have NEVER felt so called out before Edit: "I believe in that [light] and I believe in you." i have also never felt so immediately and deeply comforted after being called out! thank you, Jessica, i believe in you too!

[@AutumnMoonlight95]

I think labels can be good as long as you aren't using them to exclude others or to make yourself feel superior. That's when they become a problem. My being disabled doesn't make me a better or worse person than anyone else. Neither does my being bicurious and demisexual. My husband being pansexual and demisexual also does not make him better or worse. I'm a grey witch and he is an atheist, neither of us is better or worse because of it. A label can be helpful for people like my husband and I so that we don't feel like we are the only ones who have whatever feeling/issue, etc.

[@mhennessy8230]

I used to have the expectation that I needed to label everything perfectly and it was really stifling to me and I've seen a lot of people use this reasoning to say "microlabels" and "microlabelling" are bad but its such a huge case of like even if they are bad for you becky over there using 25 labels hurts absolutely no one

[@WritingSch]

I also think not using labels encourages people to ignore differences. Like ‘I don’t see you as disabled’.

[@bandannabitch]

Totally agree, if you don't have a name for something then people can pretend that aspect of your identity doesn't exist. It's especially important when it comes to identities that aren't immediately visible (e.g. bi people dating someone of a different gender to themselves, people with chronic pain, etc) because it's so easy to have those parts of yourself erased or dismissed.

[@gisela_oliveira]

When I was in school, I didn't had a boyfriend or any tipe of relationship with boys, mostly because I new all the boys in my class for years and I didn't liked them. But this guy, who was repeating the year for a second time, he just assume I was a lesbian, because I had just girls as friends, I didn't dressed up to much for school (I didn't had time for it in the morning) and I was a nerd. I don't felt insulted for being called a lesbian, but I was mad because he was just putting a label in me based on... almost nothing.

[@WritingSch]

Gisela Rocha Oliveira He was doing so based on stereotypes. Which is very wrong. He also labeled you, which is not ok because someone will inevitably be wrong

[@Gelca510]

I've never been a fan of labels due to it causing people to make an idea of who I am before ever getting to know me and putting me in a box. However some labels help me feel like I have a name for what I am feeling, such as bisexual. But of course, then comes the people who want me to prove it. 🤦

[@jennaanniina]

I really struggle with labeling myself. I have called myself bi and pan in the past, because gender doesn't matter to me at all when it comes to attraction, but they don't feel fitting for some reason. I would love to call myself queer (it's something that really resonates with me), but I know a lot of people still see it as a slur, and I'm also a cis-woman who is engaged to a cis-man, so I feel like using that word would piss a lot of people off, as it is such a heavy word, and I am in a 'straight' relationship. This is the first time I'm telling this to anyone (apart from my fiancé) and I'm sorry if anyone who happens to read this is offended by this, I don't mean to cause any harm.

[@astudyinmarkgatiss]

i will gently recommend looking into comphet, it might help you find out why some labels never feel right. or not, idk you, but it helped me. either way good luck on your journey ❤️

[@joellea-b.5519]

Queer can be yours if you want it! Most labels have been used to hurt their carriers in the past and present, but if it makes you feel stronger, it is yours and its powerful and beautiful

[@jaredphillips9285]

That first quote. I felt that. Also, I may label myself as Gay, but I don't feel the need to share my label with everyone I meet, or the need to flaunt it. Those who truly love and care about me know, and that's all I need. If you don't know someone personally, using their label, whether put on them by themselves or not, really limits them. I want people to know me as more than the gay guy. I'm way more interesting than that.

[@sharaelv]

For me, my labels are so important. I've been "fighting" with them for 10 years, they are mine. However, I obviously don't go telling everyone I meet "Hi, im a polyamorous, bisexual Latina woman in a same sex marriage". I love meeting people with the same labels as me, because I I know im not alone, and I love meeting people with other labels because I love to hear how were all different. In the other hand, my wife does not like labels and I completely respect that.

[@lorelenefreeman7406]

Happy for anyone to identify as any label that makes them feel comfortable. But I also need a little time and patience while I learn all the terminology, labels and subtle nuances that are involved. I never mean to offend anyone if I get it wrong.

[@joyin9852]

I have been in a situation before that I didn’t understand what a term meant (agender I know what it is now but when I was younger I had no idea) and so I asked what it meant and the person got very angry at me. I understand that not everyone behaves like this but I’m asking you the person who told me because I do not understand but am willing to. Later I can look it up but all I ask is ppl be more ready to explain and then later I will look it up and do my own research.

[@Olivia-jw5sd]

Sarah's thoughts on bisexuality really resonated with me. When I was discovering my sexuality, the people I knew usually only used the acronym LGBT with no + or additional letters, except for the occasional "A for ally" 🙄 (note that this was probably partially because it was the 00s/very early 10s but also because of the particular community I lived in). Queer, pansexual, etc. were not words I was familiar with, so bisexual was the only label I really could identify with. Now, after years of trying to embrace this label, younger people often assume I'm transphobic when I use it, so sometimes it feels like it's not even worth it to label myself.

[@joellea-b.5519]

Some communities used Ally to allow closeted or unsure/questioning people to join the community. Bi is so versatile in what it could mean. I believe a bisexual manifesto was written in the 90s that defined it as homo- and hetero- attraction, so people who are like you or different than you, and that's the definition I like to use when explaining myself.

[@madeinkonada]

I thought A was for asexual.

[@Olivia-jw5sd]

@@madeinkonada it is, hence the eyeroll emoji 😂 I feel like it's co-opted by straight allies in order to center themselves in the conversation, and I'm so not about that.

[@esf34147]

something we really need to normalize is changing labels after new expieriences. as you said, a trans man might think he is a female lesbian but after realizing he's a man really, he will change the label to heterosexual trans man, also a "straight" person might actually be gay and find out after trying new things

[@Angi3_6]

I really hate when people say pansexuality is biphobic. It's really not.

[@worldsbiggestholdthegirlfan]

I’m bi and I have so many pan friends. I even had a crush on a pan person. There’s a small distinction but neither is transphobic

[@kingsnothere8075]

Right! Or saying that bisexuality is transphobic. It just doesnt make sense.

[@chrisjeremy8109]

see Ive identified as bi for years but recently i feel like the meaning has been completely changed. To me it has always meant the same as what pan does these days and there are others who agree with this. Bi isn’t trans/enby-phobic and Personally i do feel like this has just unnecessarily split the community up. I dont want to be seen as horrible because some will take it to mean I wouldn’t date a non-binary person when that just isnt the case but calling myself pan just doesn’t feel comfortable. I dk i just feel like I’ve always been dissed for being bi, first for being untrustworthy and now for being phobic towards non-binary people.

[@irtap404]

I think saying that bi is transphobic IS transphobic itself! I like men and women, and trans women are no less of a woman! Why should they deserve a separate category? Pan should be used to fit the non binary, i think. I dont know if Pan is for me cause I dont know if I'd feel attracted to a non binary person - but, as Jessica said, we dont need to lable ourselves if we don't think it's necessary! (And most people don't understand the word pan, bi is easier).

[@irtap404]

@@chrisjeremy8109 we need to stop division within our community 🌈 for such small terminology matters 💜

[@nriamond8010]

I don't think that labels divide people - we already ARE different. And labels can help you realize you are not alone, even if other people with the same lables are not exactly the same as you - they are different, too :) There were two moments in my life when labels made my life better: The first was when I learnt what introversion was, in my mid-twenties. I suddenly felt understood and that it was okay that I hated parties and loved to spend a lot of time alone and only meet friends once a week or twice a month. This is the opposite of what society and the media sells you as „normal“ and I always was somehow ashamed that I couldn't keep pace with those expectations. The second was when I discovered the asexual/aromantic spectrum in my early thirties, only about two years ago. A long time ago I had started worrying that something was wrong with me. Everyone in the world seemed to think about sex and desperately search for relationships all the time, it is everywhere and so dominant in the media - no book or movie without sex or a love story. Also people tend to call romantic love and sex the most important things in the world! But I was not the least bit interested. And finally I saw that other people felt the same! It was great and I am much more comfortable with myself since :) Some of the labels (especially in the ace spectrum) are VERY specific and I personally don't need that, but if other people do, why not. I'm in my mid-thirties now and I can appreciate that I am a individual and don't need to fit in exactly one category, but for others, especially teenagers, it might help. So, no, I don't think there are to many labels. But there definitly is not enough representation for a lot of these labels! Also, pineapples really are overrated.

[@LeaoraRanica]

Personally, I recently discovered the label of Demisexual and it was very calming in a way to know there was a term for it. Prior to this I was very confused (thought I might be ace except I did feel attraction like once every 3-5 years) I also had men offer to "fix" me which made me feel broken. Knowing the term made me feel normal and less alone.

[@Cillana]

Me too

[@evaweiss1160]

I just discovered thanks to thus video that demisexual fits me very well. The only person I am really sure I was ever attracted to is now my husband. There are very few people I might shortly have felt some attraction towards. But these instances are so rare that I am not sure If I really was attracted to them or not and if I am bisexual or not. Maybe I will never know.

[@LeaoraRanica]

@@evaweiss1160 it's not uncommon for demis to develop attraction to more than one gender

[@FflorianASMR]

I first came out as trans, and then a year or so later I came out as non binary. The majority of people then stopped believing me as I had changed my identity "too much" and it apparently gave people a reason to dismiss my identity and feelings. I dress very feminine on the outside but prefer to use a male name and prefer neutral pronouns. Apparently that concept is too hard for people to grasp. I have a boyfriend however I find woman more attractive than men and have had females tell me that I would make a "great lesbian." This is why I love my label "non binary" because it's the easiest way to explain to people why I have a male name but dress the "opposite" however, I dislike using a label for my sexuality because I have had negative experiences with it.

[@heatherstock4491]

"We made up words for feelings but feelings don't have hard edges like words do." This made something click in my anxious, black and white thinking, bi brain. Thank you 😊

[@nervengewitter]

The only issue I have with labels is that at some point they stop conveying any useful information, because there is no definition agreed upon by everyone. You can never be sure if person A who uses label X means the same thing with it as person B who uses it. If you try to make the labels more and more specific, no one's going to be able to keep track of everything. So in the end I feel we're better off seeing each other as the individuals we are instead of the boxes we can fit into. But yeah I still understand why some people choose labels for themselves and if someone feels a label serves a purpose for them, that's cool. I know it can be an important milestone in someone's life to finally find (and call themselves) a name that , to them, accurately describes who they are. I respect other people's labels, I just don't have much use for them myself

[@rubygross7684]

Trying to find the right label stresses me out, so I want to relax and explore for now. But labels can be validating and help people find a good community, so if you want to specify your gender and sexuality go ahead and be as specific as makes you feel best.

[@emilymicah1150]

Jessica, you saying “I believe in you” made me tear up! You are such an uplifting part of my week!!

[@nath1128]

I'm new to the lgbtq+ community. I came out as pansexual to my close friends and family about 3 weeks ago. The response has been good so far and while trying to find place in the community, I found so many people calling my identity "biphobic" or how it as "bad" to identify as pan. I feel comfortable with that label, and I felt bad for it to be seen as biphobic or transphobic because that is simply not how I feel. A lot of the comments here and the video helped me feel more comfortable with myself. Thank you for making this!

[@katistrophic8294]

I absolutely agree with everything she’s saying, and this discussion is being had in a very mature way that makes it easy to understand both sides. If labels help people feel comfortable, go for it! My only qualms with labels is that sometimes people take it too far. No label will fit anyone 100%, and that’s fine. I just hate it when people ask “what type of bisexual are you” or “just saying you’re bisexual is too unspecific.” TLDR: Labels and subcategories should be optional, not forced.

[@QueenRee17]

Its your voice, I can literally listen to you talk all day no matter the topic. I have been watching/listening to your videos while at work this whole week. So happy I found your channel. You have brilliant insight and your transparency is very refreshing

[@laterkater4213]

Thank you so much for including Sarah and Amanda! I'm bisexual and demisexual and their experiences are very similar to mine in exploring why we use those terms. ♥️

[@amandalam7272]

So happy to hear that! :)

[@gigi_m_l]

I found a lot of comfort in calling myself demisexual. Finding out what demisexuality is made me feel better. I grew up pretending to have a celebrity crush. I do call myself queer sometimes, though, because it takes a lot of energy to explain my sexuality to people who might close off and try to invalidate my identity

[@EvalynDick]

I like the "this is water" approach here Everyone has labels and enjoys them but we dont consider them as much when they are in the majority and normalised So intentionally squashed or unintentionally excluded a person finding there are others who feel the same way, an in fact enough of them that there is a recognised word can make us feel whole and found Nicely shown by tedd in EGS

[@fatimagic1365]

part of the stigma of labels, especially for bi/mspec people like me, is that people tend to assume all the play sexual people are attracted to all genders equally and in the same way, and there's is idea within some biphobic sections of the community that you have to "prove" how bi you are by forcing said attraction to all genders equally. this is why i love robyn ochs' definition of bisexuality: romantic and/or sexual attraction to more than one gender not necessarily at the same time and not necessarily in the same way. bisexuality is a label that many people accept but this definition allows for the fluidity that i think a lot of bi/mspec people experience but doesn't get a lot of representation.

[@DavidBeddard]

Thank you, Jessica. Your patience and dedication to furthering understanding help me a lot. I have a regrettable history of under-developed empathic skills combined with a tendency to abstract other people's lived experiences while being ignorant of my own privilege, so I have been guilty of making conversations about the subject of labels quite difficult for other people in the past. This has resulted in avoidable wounds and bitterness that poisoned relationships I valued. This video hit hard for me because it showed me just how easy it could have been for me to have not been an insensitive arse. Your videos make me want to be and do better, and show me how it's possible. Truly: thank you. ❤

[@esabin-simpson6423]

I joined an online seminar last week about LGBTQ+ inclusion in schools/education. One word that was eloquently discarded was 'normalise'. I now try to spread use of the alternative 'usualise'. Who needs normal? We're all just part of the everyday world. I like it!

[@LyraxBanana]

You have to most comforting and soothing voice ever. Thanks for always making me better

[@anyawillowfan]

I would also add labels can help us find others that identify in the same way.

[@oliverharris60]

Everyone who contributed to this video is so amazingly articulate. Quotes for days!

[@Othelbark]

When I use labels for myself I rarely think of them like categories- usually, I'm using them as a shorthand for a very specific statement about myself and not giving heed to the labels indirect associations. This is true for how I use labels like trans, agender, and vegan, where I use them literally as shorthands for a one-sentence statement about myself. Then there are labels like atheist, or sometimes even gamer, that I use almost the same way but feel much more of a need to preemptively manage unintended associations (usually with a prefix like "lower-case a"). Though there are a few labels I use that seem more category-like. There is autistic, where I still mostly ignore the indirect associations but the statement it is short for and the *direct* associations are *much* more subtle and complex. And then there is lesbian, which is a very recent one for me and in many ways is the first label that feels like more than just a shorthand. With lesbian, the indirect associations are directly important to me, specifically those associations that seem to be intentionally cultivated by the portions of the lesbian community that I have been exposed to.

[@thedragonesa]

You're really an amazing person. I have been trying to understand who I am and forcing myself with labels, and carrying the 'burden' of having them. When you say it like that, it seems like it's okay to be fluid. Thank you for videos like that, I literally cried as I am trying to find myself in this crazy journey that is my life. Maybe I'll start to accept myself as a fluid being.

[@flamingmidas]

The way I see it is that whether we like it or not, we are going to be labeled so we may as well get ahead of the curve by giving them to ourselves

[@Felisquoreda]

Whoever wants to fight with Jessica about pineapples also has to face me. You're not alone, Jess!

[@orangemom95]

Oh my goodness! I have so enjoyed your 'Are There Too Many 'Labels' set of videos. So incredibly insightful and full of such loveliness.

[@krisscoss8907]

Part of why I’m so vocal about my labels (nonbinary, panromantic, demisexual) is because people will treat me as what they think I am anyway so they might as well treat me as what I actually am.

[@FlyMeUpSoHigh]

I just made a comment on pt.1 and I feel like this video encompass what I tried to express. I was going to elaborate but I realized that I would be reiterating a lot that was already said in more confusing terms. But the main thing is that these two videos have been incredibly validating ❤️

[@petalsofdusk]

the way I see it labels are short words for broader definitions. Sometimes I fit the definition 100% and sometimes only partly. But what really impacts if/how I use labels to define myself is the context. I might say to family members that I'm bi because it's what communicates the most efficiently what needs to be said even though I don't relate very strongly to that label. I use it to communicate that I'm not straigt but also not gay using a short word that they will understand without additional information. With my partner I go into more depth about how I don'f fully identify with either bi or pan and define my experience in more detail without using a label. Essentially giving my own complete definition of my feelings for which no label perfectly fits

[@joellea-b.5519]

I really like this way of thinking about it. Its kind of like those memes with cartoons or icons and a few traits that go with each character. If I am 3/4 traits, I might say that's my character but it doesn't mean it's a 100% match. Thanks

[@b0bbespoke]

This elicited a visceral reaction to cry. Thank you for making this. Finding your channel has been such a boon

[@alicebergonzi3802]

I love how informative and respectful your channel is!

[@JuMixBoox]

I totally agree that labels shouldn't be seen as static and boxing you in. When I started identifying as asexual, I felt great and valid and that isn't going to change even if one day I do feel sexual attraction. That won't have been a mistake, because it was still right at the moment. That's how I usually answer any type of "It's just a phase"-comment because I dislike the application that any part of your life doesn't matter because another one will come and be more important.

[@keetyalexx]

Hard agree that some labels are more important than others. My Judaism and my chronic illnesses inform my every day existence, how I interact with the world at all times, so to me, those are the most important things people need to know about me. The rest of it, I reveal when I feel comfortable or think it’s necessary. No one needs to know everything I am unless I want them to, but there are definitely some things I need them to know, immediately.

[@florbalsamo4727]

I love Sarah and Tom! I agree with them so much. And agree with you Jess so much too. I know they have negative aspects, but overall I think they are very helpful helping you understand who you are and embrace it.

[@GymGirl88]

This is so important to talk about and a lot of this is why I use the word queer when meeting new people because I don't want to go into my multiple identities just to let people know I also like girls.

[@Foxtrick]

as a demisexual, i don't talk about it unless i'm around certain people. i really got tired of people either saying "you're not in the lgbtqia+ so you can't use that!!!" or "you're just being picky when you should be picking up guys at the bar.". so unhelpful...

[@hollybollybingbong_]

I feel the same, as someone who identifies as aroace, the amount of people who are like, vAliD bUT nOT lGbT, and invalidate me, just because. Similarly, the amount of hate and exclusion to people on the ace/aro spectrum, is horrible.

[@kelsqi-books4835]

I love this video as someone who has trouble identifying completely with a lot of things I've labeled myself as. ❤💙

[@ayior]

There are labels I have for myself, and labels I have for others. The label Nonbinary is important to me specifically so I'm in the "correct" box in others peoples heads - Which is to say, not in the "Man" or "Woman" box. Because there will be the moment in which I break your expectations of that binary box, in which you will start asking why I'm dressing/acting like X. Here, try putting me in this box, you'll be less confused. Though, no one around where I live actually knows what NB means. The longer I've known the person I'm explaining the label to, the more likely it is they'll just respond with "Oh, yeah, that fits!" It has gotten to the point where when a person does not understand what it's supposed to be, I want just want to say "Stick around and experience me, and you will see."

[@copper2470]

here i go on a rant sorta thing about my gender so yeet also just thank you jessica for making this video because it's just so informative and supportive

[@bluefox5331]

I don't have many labels- just two, or if onle the one that feels 100% right, then one. I know for sure I'm ace. I've known it for long, even before I bumped into the term, even when I nearly didn't know that lgbt people exist because of being christian. I bumped into the label a few years ago, probably when I was 16, and it took exactly the time to read the definition for me to identify as asexual. I didn't really question my gender either. However, when it comes to romantic attraction, I find myself struggle. I try to compare my feelings to other people, or other aces- some say they feel "butterflies", and some only describe romantic feelings as a deep bond to another person and wanting to be with them. I'm with the second part of people, I don't think I feel much of the "butterflies", unless I miss them when they happen/ already forgot I felt them with my ex. Because of this, I'm overthinking if I may be aromantic- something my ex themselves accused me of once. No matter how much I dig there seems to be no improvement, I'm just stressed out about it. I think I will try to let it go and not force myself with the label, even if some would push me in that box... I know the main reason why it distresses me is because I worry if I'll hurt people if I try to find a romantic partner and they don't feel loved with how I love. I can imagine myself being at peace if in the future, I'm with a person that accepts me how I am, with my weird unlabeled feelings, and feels loved that way, and wants to continue our relationship. So, for now, I'll be an asexual panromantic, hoping that it will be alright in the end :)

[@darkenroses]

I'm an agender AroAce and often times I feel like I have to 'prove' my identity, that I don't 'fit' the terms purely. This often causes an impostor syndrome feeling. My extended family blames my parents for my identity, as if they'd gone wrong somewhere while raising me, or they will say x experience is why I identity this way. To keep other parts of the family, when they visit, my family say that I'm Lovesexual. And while it's not a bad thing, it just adds to the feeling that I cannot be me even among blood kin, that identifying as AroAce is a bad thing.

[@darkenroses]

@Random Human Yep. -laughs-

[@negy2570]

Sarah's point is very good. People think the being bi equates with being promiscuous. I had two bisexual friends, both women who where absolutely faithful to their male boyfriend. It turned out that the two boyfriends were constantly cheating on their bi girlfriends with lots of other girls and still the girls got the worst of suspicion from others for being bi. Aneddoctal, I know, but these girls went through a very hard time.

[@hopingfordespair6419]

I’ve been told that I was labeling myself wrong when I first started saying I was bisexual, since I am attracted to all gender identities/sexes, which to many fits into the “definition” of pansexual. But I’ve just never felt right calling myself pan. I’ve been told so many times that I’m not bi land it really makes me mad. I see pansexuality and bisexuality as very similar, with bisexuality being much more of a spectrum of attraction (attraction to two or more genders/sexes, which includes “all”), and people get mad at me for defining MY sexuality that way. And while my parents accept me, they get confused all the time even after I tell them over and over what I see the difference as. *sigh*

[@gabi.a]

I absolutely LOVE that you include other ppl's thoght on the topic of the video

[@roman_dimaggio]

I wish KZbin let you like a video multiple times during the video, kinda like what Facebook does with reactions on its livestreams. Great video, I found your channel like 8 hours ago and I'm binging ❤️

[@gregorykne1001]

I loved this 2 part series about labels, you made me think about labels in a way I haven't thought of before. I want to introduce myself in labels, maybe I can try to explain myself in labels, we'll shall see. I am hearing impaired, Adopted, a bookdragon(book worm for non literate), a Chef/cook, Straight white male, seeker of knowledge, a neo-christian/pagan/wiccan, I am not a fan of religion per se, I think religion in the wrong hands can cause problems. Anyway back to labels. Daydreamer, a writer wannabe, someday I will be an author, and I know there are more labels I can think of if I want to do a deep analysis of myself. The label I identify with the most is being called Deaf or hearing impaired, since I have worn a hearing aid in some fashion since I was 2 and half years old. And Yes like you Jessica I can read lips and speak very well, I was lucky that my adoptive parents that when they discovered I had a hearing problem around the age of 2, they enrolled me in a school for the hearing impaired and I was taught how to speak through speech classes for close to 10 years from the ages of 2 and half till I was 12. I don't sign very well or rather very little. My current Medical condition is that I am completely deaf in my right ear and I wear an hearing aid in my left ear. So I am what the experts call profoundly hard of hearing, I just called myself hearing impaired. I have seen a lot in my 47 years on this planet, and Jessica you are lovely person and so far the only hearing impaired KZbinr I have seen so far. You are amazing woman and your wife is damn lucky to have you.

[@rachelross3483]

I’ve loved these labels videos Jessica, you have such a lovely way of making me feel good about myself ☺️

[@otterzrkuhl]

I think if someone wants to use labels for themselves, that’s fine. If someone doesn’t use labels for themselves, that’s also fine. They just shouldn’t force it onto anyone either way.

[@zl145]

This comment has no substantial insight I’m just really into the fact Sarah and Tom are wearing your merch and have it in background too! I love this community and how involved and engaged everyone is!

[@TM-vq4vv]

I wish more lgbtq KZbinrs talk about international lgbtq like in the Middle East or east of Asia or Africa who are vulnerable and don’t have human rights like the western world do. We exist and we watch you guys all the time on this platform to feel less lonely and feel kinship. Sorry for my poor English. All the love from Saudi Arabia ❤️

[@dlaity107]

Recently discovered I'm either Cupio-sexual/demi-sexual/sex positive asexual. Completely confused as to which is which, but I'm just glad to find that people like me are a known thing and not just "broken" as I've been referred to the few times it's come up in life thus far.

[@marieb6463]

you are not broken

[@Cillana]

Me too

[@flootzavut30daychallenge]

♥️

[@ohh7759]

Basically, just let people do whatever they want. Some people don’t want labels, good for them, some want highly inclusive labels, good for them, and some want a very specific ones, good for them

[@nudgificator]

I've had 'you don't look gay' a few times. The first couple I laughed off, but the most recent time I asked them to clarify what they meant and I think I broke them.

[@greatenemy2734]

nudgificator I think people mean you don’t look like the stereotypical gay guys you see on TV

[@TiaKatt]

I occasionally get a "but you're married" when I mention I'm bi/pan. They usually realize what they just said after a moment, though.

[@thistle_berry]

Personally, I really appreciate it when others tell me what they identify as and explain what that means if I don't know what it is. I completely understand if you prefer not to tell me, have not chosen what fits yet, have chosen not to pick a label, or anything else. However, as a fairly young person, I have had many times where the people around me will be making jokes about something or having a conversation about something that I have not ever heard about before. I will often ask about what that thing is, but there have been times where I have been blown off or ignored. I have also had times where adults were talking to me about something assuming I knew what it was, which I didn't, and then refuse to explain it when I ask. I also get nervous when asking people about things because I do not want to be rude, but I also really want to know about the subject. Channels like this really help with that because they will often explain what these things are and how to react helpfully in situations if you are not a part of that community.

[@jandobson5441]

Excellent work! I’d hope tho, if someone misuses a label or description, we’d all show kindness and patience. Unless they are being deliberately nasty. And then by all means, go for it or ignore them totally as they generally hate that more imo. I understand repeating yourself must be frustrating but you might be imparting new information to that person. I understand, and agree, that it is not your responsibility to educate the world. But also, several someones, somewhere, took that opportunity, which allows us all a little more freedom to be ourselves. A kind ‘it’s not a good time right now’ surely takes less energy and leaves the confused and uninformed open to future information

[@MyInfamousPanic]

My friends & some colleagues know that I am bisexual. However I've only ever dated guys (women terrify me!) so to most people I seem straight. As such, I've never come out to my parents as there's never been a "need" to. I don't know if I ever will as it's a conversation I've avoided for so long now. I can't decide if me being a visible member of the LGBTQIA community will make any difference in our relationships, so for now, I'm staying quiet.

[@scifirocks]

I'm biologically female, but I have memories of being really confused about my gender as a child. I think it was because I didn't fit into what was expected of a girl, and typical female things were looked down upon. As an adult, I do identify with feminine fashions but in some ways, I don't have a lot in common with other "typical" women. But now I now know that this is because there are many different ways to be a woman.