Jim Dethmer - How to Shift from Victim Consciousness, Reduce Drama, Be Fully Alive, and More

Jim Dethmer - How to Shift from Victim Consciousness, Reduce Drama, Practice Candor, Be Fully Alive, and More | Brought to you by LMNT (drinklmnt.com/tim) and 5-Bullet Friday (tim.blog/friday).
Jim Dethmer is one of the world’s leading voices on conscious leadership. He is a co-founder at Conscious Leadership Group, co-author of the #1 best-selling book on conscious leadership, The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership, and an international speaker. And he has advised hundreds of CEOs and their teams to eliminate drama and build trust within their organizations.
Top hedge-fund managers, heads of major hospital systems, tech leaders, elite thought leaders, and YPO chapters and forums rely on Jim’s wisdom and guidance to become highly self-aware and to create conscious cultures. Currently, Jim’s focus is on working with the most devoted conscious leaders-with a particular interest in those leading underserved populations-and training the next generation of conscious leadership coaches.
Visit conscious.is/tim for a list of free resources on the topics discussed in this episode and to sign up for a free webinar from Jim Dethmer and Diana Chapman.
Please enjoy!
Intro [00:00]
Jim's journey to cofounding Conscious Leadership Group [07:02]
Byron Katie and The Work [10:29]
Gay and Katie Hendricks, avoiding drama-based conflict, and the “zone of genius” [28:52]
Conscious breathing [32:05]
Emotional intelligence and emotional literacy [37:39]
“Can you accept yourself for being scared and below the line?” [49:57]
Personal accountability vs. blame [58:06]
Radical responsibility [1:04:38]
The 15 commitments for relationships [1:09:18]
How to have uncomfortable conversations [1:20:52]
Do you want to be right or do you want to be closer? [1:30:39]
To Me, By Me, Through Me, and As Me [1:36:38]
Jim's “descent into the ashes” [1:50:28]
How to make it through your own descent into the ashes [1:59:18]
What will you risk for full aliveness? [2:02:20]
The Four Pillars of Integrity [2:07:57]
Jim's midlife career change [2:10:48]
Parting thoughts [2:20:37]
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[@lifeinstructionsdotnet8767]

Summary/time stamps: 5:05 Guest introuction 7:54 Jim talks about his background 12:20 How Jim identifies successful people (including Byron Katie) and learns from them 25:51 On being motivated by fear 28:52 Talking about the psychologist Gay Hendricks (and his wife) and their views on relationships and conflict 32:34 On conscious breathing and changing your blood and brain chemistry 37:48 How to deal with emotions in a productive way (long discussion) 59:33 On personal accountability vs. self-blame 1:12:05 About relationship commitments 1:23:17 Uncomfortable conversations that are important to have 1:36:50 Different states of consciousness 1:51:03 Reframing difficult situations (with an example from Jim´s personal life)

[@Anassomou]

Thank you

[@blissluminosity]

Doing god's work with these timestamps - thanks!! :)

[@Michael-4]

Thanks

[@Nuverselive]

Ty 🖤

[@stopper90004]

Thanks 🙌

[@giantessmaria]

wow, Jim is the epitome of INTENSE! this conversation is pure gold... If only most folks had the willingness and self awareness to go these places....our conditioning has worked against these concepts from day one. thanks again for the fabulous discussions...wow, this one really got my juices going!

[@dylancoffey6955]

This absolutely changed my life...I feel like these were important puzzle pieces I had lost under the table and Jim just walked past and picked them up and put them back on the table. Be here now

[@dylancoffey6955]

Thank you Tim

[@sherylmitchell7732]

Yes mom I Much i I know l m NI I

[@sherylmitchell7732]

@@dylancoffey6955 pm o P mmmm

[@sherylmitchell7732]

@@dylancoffey6955 l n

[@sherylmitchell7732]

Mop your ivy in. Non o m o M. J no pun

[@riteshbhatia7690]

If someone had asked me to describe myself before listening to this piece I would've said: "I have this dark feeling in my chest, and because of that I have always been a seeker, seeker for answers related to truth, happiness, equanimity. This search sometimes felt like was driving out the motivation, but soon after, it would replace the earlier fear driven motivation by other kinds like love, friendship, creativity, compassion. This search has been both the single most unfortunate and the fortunate thing to happen to my life. Have I found answers, most certainly. Is the feeling gone, the answer I've found is, it'll be there, but you can welcome it, and it'll take you beautiful places". If someone asks me the same question today, I would probably refer them to this interview. Haven't found a more relatable description of a person before in life.

[@stefanpuxon]

Thanks Jim, what a nice man you are. This really helped 👊🏻

[@danerose575]

I've found this podcast more meaningful, wonderfilled and actionable than probably any Tim interview. I've ordered the book and and requested coaching and have a bigger view of self and the world. I definitely notice the silence in the audience as data moves deeper into the psyche and think it's great that Tim has explored both the abundance and hollowness of outer fame, popularity, sex, money and power in order to stay true to himself as he moves into more important and uncomfortable areas of living and being human. I think it can be hard for people who have never known wealth and power to focus on areas that make less money, get less likes and fewer eyes. Once the game has been won and delivered multiple headaches, changing the game is naturally more interesting. Bravo to Tim for going deep, transparent, vulnerable, happy and alive and entering the domain outside the norms of cult. I think the hardest thing for a trauma-survivor to do (we are a traumatized cult) is to willingly let go and feel the abundance of joy and happiness when more painful shocks may lie around the corner out of control. This is natural. To transcend our own reptilian programming is miraculous, and this talk takes me in that direction.

[@taylorreeves3642]

I agree, one of the best

[@neonskimmer]

I thought the exact same thing. I've had to stop multiple times to try to process what I had just heard. I feel like I have to go through again a few times and take lots of notes.

[@HjalmarsProjekt]

Really interesting episode, only 25 minutes in but this will be my info of the day. Thanks for sharing Tim!

[@lee_reynolds]

UI’m tuI’m I’m tuytusorry tusorry tutumorning tutus yp

[@tjfamily9263]

I can't tell you how important this podcast was for me and I have listened to 30 of Tim's. I am getting the Hedricks' books and will attempt to adopt so many of Jim's relationship strategies. This has deeply affected my life.

[@tjfamily9263]

I've now listened to this seven times.

[@jackcline9594]

Share this with the masses! Life changing content. By far the best podcast ive listened to.

[@user-mm9yx9zy9d]

Today bought your Tools of Titans, the only your book in English in my city

[@TheZGALa]

"Two ticks on a dog." Mmm hmm. Great content. So much gold in this conversation. Thank you both.

[@octopichael]

Tim Ferriss has been more of a sanity savior than a startup savant recently hahaha Thanks for your work Tim

[@javadhashtroudian5740]

Ah great You reached Sedona Method. At this time I feel happy as I walk around the yard with two cats. I feel it around my third eye. I was thinking about Sedona Method and the idea that when you release good feelings they increase. I let go of the happiness and allow awareness of bliss. Tat Tuam Asi - you are the Ultimate Reality.

[@kazuwazerin8120]

Really enjoyed this one. Thanks Jim&Tim!

[@jfloesch]

An awesome episode! One of the best :).

[@TantrumX]

Love the the different point of view put across by Jim in this...given me lots to think about

[@oriontucker2006]

Yeah e VA i Up ho

[@Topsnap_Podcast]

The TopSnapPodcast #topsnappodcast likes this channel.. Thank you Mr Tim 🙏 for all you test .. experience.. and ponder.. then discuss. We all appreciate the help

[@sanzaiane]

Thank you so much! So good to listen, it helps me a lot, great conversation!

[@Talkinglife]

Based on insights from ancient wisdom traditions, modern neuroscience, contemporary psychology,The path of Radical Responsibility evolves our capacity to respond with wisdom, courage, and love to the suffering of our world.

[@nataliesmith2932]

So insightful. Thankyou 🙏

[@Anassomou]

Fantastic talk

[@vinodchacko3715]

Tim, It's time to have a change in the podcast intro music- it's getting old/boring

[@theearnesttruth849]

Whoa Tim! I think we’ve had some similar close to identical experiences with our women aiding us hugely when we have had trigger moments that caused the Bruce Lee reactions Lol, you mentioned starting at 1:30:40! This is tremendously helpful! Thanks for this show with the profound Jim Dethmer!!! Phenomenal.

[@theearnesttruth849]

I hated being wrong I’ve long learned to just let it go!

[@KathyMcDevitt]

I really liked this interview..

[@kenikenon7137]

Mind blowing

[@Marina-zu5th]

Can we get a transcript of this episode?

[@gavinreadman]

It has a transcript 😀 on your phone hit down arrow

[@ceciliainnes2586]

Agree

[@Mateo-et3wl]

Interesting stuff on relationships. His narrative fell apart in the way he talked about his church.

[@cvhashim]

You learn from mistakes. That shouldn’t discredit all the useful points Jim provided in this episode.

[@MeDeeTations]

Tim 🇨🇦

[@TiempoNuevo-ew7ty]

Know a man who slept on the couch for a number of years.??? (That is odd) decided to divorce his wife of 35-40 years. Said he hadn't been happy for 20 years. He divorced his wife.... and his adult children and grandchildren.

[@ash42ism]

Transcrio?

[@lyngreen5801]

Why do you feel the need to use words like 'fuck up' and Holy Shit? It takes away from what you say.