Jim Malcolm: Short and Fat

[@seanboyd2898]

For those that would like the lyrics: Short and fat wi’ a big beer belly, The HP man’s just been to repossess ma telly, And he’s comin’ back tomorrow, For my three-piece suite and coffee table. I’ve got half a dozen bar bills at the local boozer, A debt wi the bookies cause I keep backin’ losers, An’ the taxman’s gonna take me to the cleaners, Just as soon as he is able. Oh, and I owe a loan shark a lot of money, Oh, he said “You’d better find it sonny, Or I’ll cut your head open, And make you all runny.” And I’ve been done for drink driving too, Then tryin’ to bribe an officer wi’ an IOU. Lookin smug in his bonnet and his corporation tie The gas man’s just been to disconnect my supply, And he’s looking to get paid For the heatin’ I was havin’ last year. Oh, and I would like to flee the country, But I flogged my passport to an on-the-run convict from Fintry, Then I blew every penny on the 3:15 at Aintree And now the rent is six months overdue, And the milkman’s gettin’ ready to sue. In his big black Daimler and his Savile Row suit, The loan shark and his gorilla came an’ geid me a cloot, And now I’m havin’ a bed bath, And the nurse says six months before I’m oot.

[@PeterStrachanMusic]

Cool

[@IvyCottageIndustries]

;)