A Crap Guide to Final Fantasy XIV - Magic DPS

[@tatersalad76]

The best part about summoner is that the class is irreparably changed every expansion

[@thunderthebright8469]

We have an ARR event every expansion and then we play a completely different game

[@Salbeira]

You can't tell me to learn how to play my class if the game doesn't know how it wants me to play it either! HAH!

[@deeps6979]

A pet class on par with WoW Warlocks, except XIV decided pets are gone now.

[@1un4cy]

how do you get something other than a carbuncle?

[@DraycoVideo]

You don't. Carbuncles are better. Be a true summoner main and make all your summons Carbuncles.

[@ryutheslayer123]

Why each role is the most important person in the party: *Tank* : Has slap fights with the boss *Healers* : Kissing boo boos and slapping bitches who made boo boos *Melee* : Inspecting the bad guy's anus *Ranged* : No one gives commends *Caster* : Big ass hats

[@brennanruiz1803]

I once got six commends as a summoner in Crystal Tower for shitposting in alliance chat for the entire raid. I died, like, three times because I was busy typing. Best commends I’ve ever gotten.

[@Groxley]

Black Mage: Sucks it

[@Colaschnittchen]

Cries in Viera caster

[@RagnellHD]

DNC has a shortcut to get 1 commend through Dance Partner. Only the one though

[@Geothesponge111]

Big-ass hats, or big ass-hats?

[@DrakeWurrum]

We definitely need a full rendition of JoCat singing out every single BLU spell like the Animaniacs with accompanying animation.

[@xi_kai_ix]

amen to that

[@davidmcfall9169]

yes

[@jessie662246]

Patreon supported I hope....plus viewer submitted skills

[@nerthailabs]

Hear hear!

[@maevithan]

Agreed lol

[@JohanFaerie]

Leaning self destruct is very important, because once you've finally mastered the class you can then end it all and release yourself from the suffering.

[@Tnt0Tony0Tnt]

the real reason to learn self destruct is to cheese the kugane tower climb with a buddy who is really good at it

[@SephirothsBIade]

Finally the lamp post will stop tormenting me

[@Tnt0Tony0Tnt]

@@SephirothsBIade why stop at the lamp post? i had my buddy take me all the way up the tower with self destruct rezzing

[@SephirothsBIade]

@@Tnt0Tony0Tnt you need to climb the tower to get to the lamp post. but the top of the tower is not visible while running through the town

[@Tnt0Tony0Tnt]

@SephirothsBIade you can self destruct and get rezzed right onto the lamp post. and you can also self destruct and get rezzed all the way up the tower as well(it just takes like 20 rezzes to slowly make your way up there)

[@pedroscoponi4905]

In the time it took you to watch this video: -Your Red Mage teammate has rezzed both healers back from the brink of a wipe. Make sure to thank them but only commend the healers, as is tradition. -Your Summoner teammate has built a 10ft tall lego tower and beat the boss bloody with it. Do NOT touch the Lego Tower, it _will_ temper you permanently. -your Black Mage teammate has succesfully completed 75% of their hardcast Flare. If they owe you any money, this is the perfect time to kill their target and act like it was an accident. -your Blue Mage friend has for the 30th consecutive time failed to learn a spell that is essential to completing exactly *one* 8 years old Savage Raid and will absolutely never be used again. Do not pity them, they chose their own suffering.

[@jacobcain9008]

It's a good thing I'm a masochist!

[@warlock415]

> Make sure to thank them but only commend the healers, as is tradition. *cries in Red Mage*

[@Xenmaru00]

@@warlock415 ahh yes...the red mage dichotomy. save the run, but get none of the coms. feelsbadman.

[@warlock415]

@@Xenmaru00 Yup. Break rotation to raise one healer, burn swift to raise the other, one throws LB3. ... afterwards it's "Hero healer! Clutch LB3!"

[@Lorekeeper_GGuy]

@@warlock415Us red mages have to live in solidarity

[@birdjericho]

Leveling Black Mage was the longest and most difficult period of leveling for me in this game. When I finally acquired the largest and most level-90-iest hat I could find, I never felt more proud of myself. And then I tripped over my job change bar, smacking my knee on the Red Mage button. And then I sneezed. And all of a sudden, I was a level 90 Red Mage. I looked around nervously. Had anyone noticed? Was Yoshi-P watching me? ...I... I didn't understand. I thought I was the only one.

[@TubeTAG]

I think I'm like the only one who is kinda fine with the old school fire rotation. Optimizing fire starter and thundercloud procs, etc.

[@Feraligatrfjhgujvgh]

Shortest for me because I paid Yoshi-P a tithe for him to answer my prayer of getting this shit job over with. Best money ever spent. I can wait for the next level cap increase.

[@Noir-st4sx]

I actually found the BLM levelling fun. I am a huge BLM fan. It could be the fact I don't really have to focus and just spam buttons.

[@SmoothAsFelt]

I did this whole process and then a week later I was looking at ARR relics and was like, "Hmm... Black Mage's relic is probably the coolest one. How bad can it be? I'm level 90 I can just swiftcast 1 shot all the bosses and stuff now, right?" And then I realized that 90% of the grind for ARR relics are level synced at below level 30 and I went through all that pain and suffering all over again. And now I main bard because I have a cool flute

[@TimeBucks]

Fantastic as always.

[@santoshdangi4935]

👍

[@mitonmohajan4941]

Hi

[@Aseal223]

Good

[@rijonkhan6059]

Wow

[@Rashidmalik-ct4dd]

Nice

[@silvanbarrow86]

JoCrap: *finishes the exhausting task of covering all the known jobs* Fanfest: "Here comes a new challenger!"

[@greggreyes6869]

looks at the DOH/DOL jobs

[@sonvan6714]

ok

[@Sora_SlimeCat]

I wonder if he'll do videos on crafting and gathering jobs too? Because i'm of the opinion that EVERYONE should get roasted in this game and i'm waiting for my turn lol

[@kiriuxeosa8716]

Omyoji the caster from the east And whatever the hell gosetsu is now

[@RyuukoKobayashi]

In which Fanfest literally came in with another magic ranged DPS.

[@ad00]

The Blue Mage/Animaniacs crossover we never knew we wanted, but definitely needed.

[@warlock415]

...Republic Dominican, Cuba, Caribbean..

[@romie233]

@@warlock415 Greenland, El Salvador, too!

[@updateguypls1088]

@@romie233 Puerto Rico, Columbia, Venezuela, Honduras, Guyana and still

[@RS14988]

@@updateguypls1088 Guatemala, Boliva and then Argentina and Ecuador, Chile, Brazil!

[@blazingliger2246]

I'm going to need a full version of this song now that includes the new spells, lol

[@skeletor8951]

The fact that his Blue Mage wasn't capped at 70 means he was recording footage for this video as recently as the day he started uploading it... Neat.

[@ann-marieellis8523]

I thought I was the only one to notice this xD

[@aaronlefebre5060]

I was about to say, that non-gold 70 only happened yesterday (as of this post), so yeah, super recent!

[@cattysplat]

When your coursework is due in the next day but you've not started it yet.

[@YukiSnowmew]

He tweeted about it the night before the upload asking for footage of a few spells, so you're not wrong!

[@jonathanmaelstrom2329]

“You even get a backflip to you’re death like a dragoon, but a little more SEXY” As a dragoon who switched to red mage after reaching 90, this almost killed me I laughed so hard.

[@Kayriel]

Of course it almost killed you, you're a Dragoon.

[@SapunMan]

your* death

[@giangkim8789]

ok

[@thikim8562]

ok

[@batfan932]

As a Dragoon for life, RDM is my side job that I use when I’m maxed out in DRG. Because of that backflip I can continue to fall off the platform of the final horror boss in the Amaurot dungeon.

[@morganr9825]

5:19 Lyrics for the curious *Deep breath* There's Ultravibration and Rose of Destruction And Sticky Tongue, Snort, Mustard Bomb Abyssal Transfixion, Quasar, Malediction of Water and Fire Angon Peculiar Light, Feather Rain and Shock Strike Song of Torment and Basic Instinct Flying Frenzy and Loom, Acorn Bomb, Sonic Boom Flying Sardine, J Kick, Final Sting Triple Trident and White Wind and Level 5 Petrify 1000 Needles kinda sucks There's Ink Jet and Faze and Transfusion and Blaze Choco Meteor and Self-Destruct (And now you know how to sing along. You're welcome.)

[@firby7341]

slidecasting: put emotes in your action bars. while casting they turn greyer, when they turn light again, you can move without interrupting the cast

[@WarrenGarabrandt]

I learned this on accident when I put comfort emote on my hot bar so I could easily get rid of the misery debuff.

[@salemfae]

oooo thats a great way to learn the timing :D

[@IKMcGwee]

I just wait untill the bar is about over the first number in the cast bar txt, but that's neat to know.

[@KMCA779]

@@WarrenGarabrandt yeah but how often does that debuff come up? Hell, it's a rare dungeon that I can even use Esuna.

[@WarrenGarabrandt]

@@KMCA779 As far as I know, and I would need to check to make sure, esuna does not cure misery. Besides, that's one more GCD I can be casting broil.

[@afre989]

As a BLU myself, this was accurate as all hell. Also, can we get a full "JoCat's Spellbook" song with all the Blue Magics?

[@tendigitnumber]

This comment needs more upvotes! Full length blue mage song if possible please!

[@LordDrail]

Is probably already in the works. I mean, he did the same thing with spooky slice for melee deeps, right?

[@skybasegamer5829]

I was going to post a simple 3 word request for a full Blu Mage song but it self destructed...

[@aidanjackson5084]

"And now, the entire Blue Mage spell list, brought to you by... JoCrap!!"

[@OzixiThrill]

@@skybasegamer5829 Then why is the video still around?

[@BastoTheDisasto]

Fun fact: in most fights, Samurai has as many cast time actions as Summoner. Therefore if Summoner is a caster, so is Samurai.

[@alexanderbeardsley5465]

Samurai is just a spellcaster with a really sharp sword.

[@Tibbroar]

I didn't realize Summoner had that many hard casts.

[@MaelraJade]

Summoner has 3 casts a minute with one being swift cast, Samurai has a cast every 2 -11 actions. comes out to about the same really. @@Tibbroar

[@ianlindstrom2019]

@@MaelraJadeSummoner has *four* hardcasts per minute. Two ruby rites, slipstream, and a ruin 3 cast. That last one is a pretty fast cast, but still slower than Iaijutsu. But yeah, they come out to a similar number of casts. If anything, SMN is easier because you can choose to rearrange those casts a lot more freely.

[@thenewtriosguy]

Samurai's skills being MA-based in FFT may have had a tiny bit of influence

[@mordiusm4400]

A huge tip for slide casting! When you are learning it, put an emote on your hotbar. When you are casting, it greys out, and when you can slide cast, it ungreys out :)

[@OzixiThrill]

It's basically just the same snap mechanic that happens with AoE attacks from enemies. If you can learn the feel of that, then slide-casting is the exact same process, except you start the thing.

[@mattbriddell9246]

1:04 "I have no plans to die but I am so tired of living"... God that is such a mood in this day and age.

[@AegixDrakan]

Too fucking often. :(

[@BlandoGaming]

I didn't have words for how I've been feeling this week, but now here we are. Maybe things are looking up?

[@AlexofZippo]

According to my most recent psyche eval it's called suicidal ideation and it's "a bad sign"

[@RJ.the.artist]

Thancred is a millennial.

[@legomaple]

Black Mages in the fandom: "Lmao, they have to stand still because of cast bars!" Actual Black Mages in the fandom: "The only thing that is keeping me rooted is my Leylines, else I would come chase your ass to tear open a second one!" *Uses triplecast*

[@FirestormHF]

Aether skate is both a movement tool and a threat.

[@cyan_2169]

shhh, don't tell anyone that black mages are actually super mobile

[@duncanmacleod6274]

@@cyan_2169 ....eventually

[@Hammybread]

Healers adjust

[@JustynHill-Hand]

@@cyan_2169 Pretty sure they're the most mobile. They get more instant casts per minute on average than red mages and summoners do. The only difference is that red mages get it every other spell so they're mobile more often, whereas black mages get big bursts of mobility.

[@halapenopepper]

Clarification on the slidecasting: the time you're able to move is a flat half a second. On Black Mage and Summoner especially, trying to use fractions to figure it out mentally can get wonky as different spells have different cast times, so just remember if it's got less than half a second to go, that cast is finishing even if you move. Just try to be mindful of it, because there's no way to not clip when slidecasting that I've figured out (less of a problem on redmage and healers with short cast times that don't use your whole gcd), so your dps can take a significant hit if you rely on it overmuch.

[@idontwannapickanametho]

It can still be smaller than .5s . Mine is typically .35s. it may be consistent for you, but it's based on your latency

[@duchuynhvuong1733]

ok

[@syntaxerror2608]

yeah the timing can be wonky, having emotes in ur hotbar can help you get the hang of it tho, cause when they light up is around the same interval for slidecasting

[@Tnt0Tony0Tnt]

if you stop moving before the castbar is done you don't clip and clipping isn't the worst thing in the world anyway since the only one of those jobs that really has to worry about it is blm and blm has to clip sometimes anyway for weaves since using an instant for every weave isn't always viable

[@lotus1528]

If i recall, the reason why slidecasting times are different is in part due to latency with higher giving more time and lower giving less.

[@playALLth3games]

The Zero Punctuation reference at 2:04 was freaking gold. A+ work.

[@jijonbreaker]

My brain had picked up that it was a reference and I knew what it was, but I didn't have enough braincells to connect it to ZP.

[@thebevil8127]

im too dumb, why exactly he is using that reference?

[@playALLth3games]

@@thebevil8127 He’s making fun of bosses for not getting out of the circles of death the mages can throw up, but the joke is that there are many players that will not get out of the boss’s circles of death. There’s a phrase “People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones,” which basically means that “Everyone sees you have the exact same problem, so you shouldn’t pick on other people for having the same problem as you.” The Zero Punctuation reference comes from an episode where Yahtzee makes a comment about living in a glass house and engaging in “projectile mineralogy.” It’s the “glass houses” phrase, but written differently with a wink-nudge self-awareness. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

[@ksad96]

​@@playALLth3gamesexcellent job breaking down each piece

[@wile123456]

Now to think of it, this series is zero punctuation but better written and far more creative. ZP has been running for over a decade and the formula has gotten so stale. Meanwhile jo at does a ton of art and musical stuff in his videos too.

[@KrakatonMain]

I'm so happy that you got so many submissions for self-destructs 😂 I'm the kind of person who learns Self-destruct/Explosion in a Nuzlocke just because "if you're ever about to die and it can't be avoided, I want you to have the satisfaction of taking that bastard down with you" and also "lol angy orb go kaboom"

[@Firehawk376]

Self destruct is pretty much THE Blue Mage party trick. It's not uncommon to see a BLU wander into a group of people standing around in a city and just detonate for no fucking reason. After that, it's a race to see which of the nearby healers can get to you first. Fun times for all.

[@coyoteseattle]

​@@Firehawk376 It's good for that! When I'm running stuff with my friends, it's become tradition that, when someone has to leave, rather than using Return, they switch to BLU and self-destruct.

[@Getsugaru]

Be careful, JoCrap; Black Mage's dad works at Square Enix.

[@Matayu7]

Amazing! Square Enix perfectly captured the experience of using a Blue Mage in all the single-player Final Fantasy games! Who would have guessed it would transition so well to an MMO?

[@Wastingsometimehere]

Red Mage is insanely fun. Especially when you literally have to ressurrect a fallen party.

[@RJ.the.artist]

Yeah, we do all that work and get no commendations. This is why I don’t hesitate to commit Verflashbang.

[@Wastingsometimehere]

@@RJ.the.artist I laughed a little on that.

[@JohnnyShagbot]

Red Mage more like Rez Mage.

[@catdaddy294]

Oh god, what did I get myself into by learning Red Mage?

[@Wastingsometimehere]

@@catdaddy294 Being the only dps who has to help with heals. That's what.

[@davidromeroblaya7920]

I don't play FF XIV but I have learned a couple of things about mages in this game: -Black mages are a nutritional supplement for your recommended daily dose of heavy metal. -Red mages use the ancient magical knowledge of slashomancy. -It's hard to be a blue mage. Really, really, really hard. If you are a blue mage, consider other professional career with more future like guinea pig in a laboratory. -WACHAAAAAA!!!

[@bolladragon]

This is 100% correct

[@tentativegazer]

Its hard being a blue mage, its hard and nobody understands

[@Firehawk376]

BLU is kind of weird. Your level caps out well below everyone else's, you have to suffer to learn any of your spells, you're not invited to any of the good parties, and you are entirely capable of soloing any dungeon with the right build. Properly specced, a BLU is the most powerful class in the game by a huge margin. Too bad you almost never get to actually use it.

[@Gloomdrake]

@@Firehawk376can’t even MSQ with it

[@saltyk9869]

BLU can be fun for some content. I remember there was some event and people were going through a particular dungeon as fast as they could to maximize efficiency. 3 BLU and a tank was very good if your BLU had the right spells. Could kill large groups of enemies quickly, kill two of the bosses in seconds and the last boss was relatively quick if you knew what you were doing. BLU is also good for FATE farming for much the same reasons.

[@kitt8132]

“…Or scout out for the next place Thancred will find yet another color of depression.” Best joke in the video.

[@TheGreedyWolf]

The zero punctuation reference came out of nowhere and was amazing! Thanks for making me giggle JoCat

[@charlesmoore3390]

As a career Black Mage. I approve. And, yes, I do hear death metal when I'm in my fire phase.

[@mattkaminski535]

The I presume to be Zero Punctuation reference at 2:04 got me laughing so hard. As always love your content JoCat.

[@samtrue3]

My favourite hobby projectile mineralogy.

[@Azerinth]

Here's a clipped version of the reference for those not in the know kzbin.info/www/bejne/nnfWaJ2hiKxmo80

[@greenhydra10]

Oh yeah, that does sound like something Yahtzee would say.

[@warlock415]

Projectile mineralogy!

[@user-nk8ft3nn8z]

I know right, I saw that and immediately went to the comments to see if anyone else got it

[@darkhand412]

I love how this guide releases the day after the 6.45 BLU update and you give it plenty of lovely screen-time :D

[@warlock415]

Did you notice 4:48?

[@darkhand412]

@@warlock415 I'm just noting the good timing of the video's release. Of course I noticed!

[@CdrChaos]

Joy: Another JoCat video! *Depression:* He finished all the job roles.

[@Syogren]

For now! 😈

[@LchanOtakudom]

A new challenger approaches!

[@ruujvt]

"To Blue Mage...is to suffer." Coming from someone who once tried to help a friend level Blue Mage, this was the most accurate statement

[@InsanoRider777]

Leveling BLU is easy lmao; just go out into the highest level wilderness you can handle as a BLU and consign some poor species to extinction as you ruthlessly slaughter them over and over again!

[@TyrMcDohl]

If this is indeed the end of JoCrap, a fine note to go out on

[@sixthcairn]

There's still gatherers and Crafters. I dunno how he could pull it off, but if he ever decided to...

[@arogon8797]

@@sixthcairnI’d honestly be surprised if he decided to do gatherers/crafters. I’d also laugh if he decided to do one for savage/ultimate raids but I get the feeling this was the last one.

[@pedroscoponi4905]

I don't doubt we'll see another crap guide series someday but god only knows what and when. I'm very curious to see which direction Jo is going to go now 👀

[@LeonardoBramante]

Time for a Crap Guide to FFXIV: Raiding.

[@seath8055]

Oh is he not doing any more crap guides to anything after this one?

[@nyminenemine]

I unabashedly love blue mage and understand why its been put in a corner. No one would know any mechanics because I would be dooming bosses with no chill and death explosioning the very second anything got within an eyelash of effective HP range. I am an awful goblin child and I know what I've done and what I would do if I was allowed to be free. And in build a parties with friends I always bring it *fight me*.

[@twotoned_echos]

You are the ideal Blue Mage

[@lysandermorgensonne9850]

The BLU job stone is just Gremlin Energy condensed into solid form, and you understood the assignment :D

[@avaricsymphorian]

I love it too! I'm not nearly good enough at it to get the Morbol mount, but I have a lot of fun hunting down new spells, and then ANNIHILATING FATEs with them.

[@gracia_borealis]

I've been thinking about a tank arcanist job since this video dropped and I'm so here for the idea You could have your summon act as a second tank, as a support with a ton of shields, you could go into a phase where you fuse with your summon to take more hits or deal more damage. I'd be so down for a tank summoner

[@Gamer3427]

Back when I was new to the game, (and a lot dumber), and in the ARR era before any of the expansions came out, I was determined to play a pure Arcanist instead of upgrading to summoner or scholar, since part of what made me want to play the game was the arcanist class and the carbuncles, while both SCH and SMN lost them. At the time the way the cross class skills worked made it where you could customize a bit more and there was a few benefits to staying in a base class instead of a job, (though the loss in dps wasn't worth it at all). It let you build a more "jack of all trades" play style rather than fitting as purely into the main roles, kind of like Blue Mage, but still being able to queue for runs. So obviously, there were issues. I ended up using the topaz carbuncle all the time back then and depending on the party I was in they either loved it or hated it, because if the tank went down she was always there to pick up the slack, but if the tank wasn't too competent then she'd take over and cause chaos. The runs were definitely slower, and obviously looking back on it I know I was a bit of a menance as a result, but it led to some fun times. I remember having times in the 24 player raid where the tanks would die and my little carbuncle would end up tanking the final boss for the rest of the run. There were runs I got kicked for over it, but there were also runs where I got commendations and people had a lot of fun, so ultimately while I'd never do it again out of courtesy, even if it still worked how it used to, I don't regret it in the least and those are still some of my fondest memories.

[@CommissarMitch]

A thing I genuinely love about JoCat is that his art style for these Crap Guides are consistent yet always improving. Looking back at his first DnD video and comparing it to this you can see the improvements; but the style itself stays the same.

[@chernobyl169]

The self-destruct mosaic at the end was just what I needed in my life

[@linkz016]

JoCat, Just. Doesnt. Miss. Another banger video to add to the collection.

[@bucket9092]

this series actually got me to start playing the game 7 months ago i picked black mage and somehow pushed through, and it's still one of my favorite jobs to play ! thank you for making fun of us it's very fun to do so

[@kevingriffith6011]

"Thousand needles kinda sucks" I mean, true... but at the same time it's earned it's spot in the pantheon of blue mage spells I actually used a *lot* in the early blue mage levels, for what is playing blue mage but soloing dungeons because you have no friends... and 1000 damage is a lot in Haukke Manor if you don't have the "freeze everything" spell yet.

[@Zanador]

Yeah, it sucks after level 30 or 40 or so but before that it's one of the best spells you have access to.

[@evilanimegenious]

​@@Zanadorand it isn't nerfed by mighty guard either as it's fixed dmg

[@Mongoosegoose]

Another banger, Joe. I can feel the pain at the end.

[@KitaBFawkes]

Some comments about Black Mage! Your rotation is actually a lot more dynamic than just fire in sync'd content, due to the constant changes to your AoE rotation. This is kind of nice, as it eases you into the more complicated single target rotations you deal with later. Mob groups require less focus for you personally, so its nice they give you something more complicated, and by the time you get Fire IV the big girl dress gets put on and you have to learn to focus on rotation and deal with single target enemies, which tend to be more involved for movement. Second? Black Mage is actually, and ironically, the most mobile class in the game. It may not seem it at first, but your capacity to slide to team mates and back to your ley lines means you can *zoom*, and due to the multiple charges on Aetherial Manipulation now, you're even more mobile. Its just that you're selectively mobile as opposed to generally mobile. The other casters have more general mobility, but its no where near as fast or far at any given point, and lets be real... Slidecasting is more cool when said cast is your Triplecast charges as you slide the full distance of the boss arena.

[@Taldrakken]

I want you to know that I recommend this series to a couple new friends to the game. This series is far from crap and what made me a better Tank when I first started. Thank you for sticking to it and creating such an entertaining and worthwhile guide series

[@PlaneswalkerTARDIS]

Dont forget SMN can also rez (or now). It makes us the emergency healers. Ive saved the party by rezing the dead healers several times (usually dieing immediately after to an AOE i missed while hard-casting the second rez for the other healer. )

[@rina8719]

Puppet's Bunker killed my mana as smn. The amount of healers I had to rez was insane.

[@Nevict]

One can say a lot about black mages, but nobody can deny that they have the best mascot: Vivi, from FF9.

[@milesdavila5363]

Mr. Ornitier is best existential crisis boy.

[@Mas-cm6cy]

DA BABY!!!!!

[@wackywoohoopizzaman316]

I've never played Final Fantasy, so this video made me feel like I learned everything yet nothing at the same time Guess I better start

[@NightofOrion]

I wish you could have seen my face when the Jakko song came on. Your musical genius continues to astound JoCat. Thanks for the seratonin, I needed the laughs today

[@WittyUsername816]

If you stand in the AoE, I have revoked your healing privileges. - Your healer.

[@pies765]

Heal me or I will make sure to have strangely already used my swiftcast if you go down - Your Summoner

[@SharinganMaster24]

Hey hey hey, don't make me turn off Tank stance and let the boss come after you both. -Your Tank

[@craigfunk3453]

As a BLU I counter with literal 'stand in fire, DPS higher' thanks to Cold Fog.

[@HimitsuYami]

As a Red Mage I'll just do your job for you and still do more DPS. But if you don't heal me, you won't get a rez when your pinky toe grazes an aoe and you drop

[@CidVeldoril]

@@HimitsuYami And we'll steal their LB as well. It's the Red Mage way.

[@Pyre]

Being Red Mage means, like Bard, being one of the people in the position to save the raid if enough things go *just* wrong enough. Precision insta-raises feels amazing when it works, even though it only works once or twice before you can't keep up. And I caught that Samurai Jack reference. (And praise Larryzaur).

[@maracaegrizzley8734]

There's a reason my Red Mage has a customized Rez Macro. "Red Mage Rez Machine go Brrrrrrrr..."

[@Pyre]

@@maracaegrizzley8734 One of those things where you hear people talking about it being a thing, you go "I can do that?" Then you get to the right level and you discover you CAN do that. And not gonna lie, getting to go "I said EVERYBODY LIVES" at the boss and yank both healers back up, then successfully finish the raid, is some of the most satisfying fun I've had in XIV.

[@maracaegrizzley8734]

@@Pyre Yup. There's a very good reason why Red Mage and Summoner are *both* high on my list of preferred jobs to play. And if I'm going into content during Release Week that I haven't been through? And sometimes even if I have? I tend to default to Red Mage just so I can pick people back up again. Granted, if I'm having a Bad Brain Day, I'll turn to Machinist so I don't have to deal with the Responsibility, but Red Mage is *awesome* fun when getting to save the run.

[@jenikabartlett9396]

Fun fact on slidecasting: If there's a emote on your bars it'll light up at the same time as slidecasting becomes possible

[@TheZomGuy]

I know the crap guides take a ton of effort and energy. Thank you. Despite not playing the game (ugh, subs & time), I still enjoy the end result greatly and appreciate all of the work you put in.

[@InstantSilence]

You showed the small versions of the Summoner's summons. What I find most fun about them is absolutely covering the screen with these monstrosities at full size to impair my and my teammates' vision of the boss mechanics. Edit: I know it doesn't change individual player settings, but I do it for the people who haven't set them to small.

[@arachineatzeer7478]

Each person has to change it so you can have smol summons but everyone else could have huge ones (and you can change it per summon)

[@Pherim_]

Heck, i almost cant see already during fights. I will have to turn the Summons down when i reach a High level in the job

[@Sketchblopp]

Hate to break it to you, but if you set your summons to the proper (aka BIG :D ) size, your teammates stay unaffected. This setting is only applied on your end and counts for all summons, from yourself and others. So you can't troll teammates with big Garuda boobs unless you tell them "/petsize all large" makes them disappear, which is... hard to sell.

[@SpellFlare]

I just want a BEEG Carby...

[@skwarrior14]

1:50 literally brought me back to og samurai jack

[@LordMrF]

my goodness your glass house is sparkling delightfully in the morning sun, what a nice day to indulge in your favorite hobby of projectile mineralogy! isn't jocat?

[@vincent207]

These Crap Guides were what introduced me to this channel. I hope this last week doesn’t permanently turn you off to posting videos. Though if it does, I wish you the best.

[@TeamKhandiKhane]

I've had a relatively depressing week. And I saw this. Thank you Jocat I needed a pick me up and this is it.

[@theflamingrooster2983]

2:05 love the Yahtzee reference

[@MrHankf16]

2:05

[@WizardWill]

it must be a massive relief to finally have this done, Great job Jo, great video, great series of videos, and see you on your next project!

[@axelvoss9653]

As a RDM main, I'd been waiting patiently for your take, and you did not disappoint.

[@dnielbloqg]

2:05 I did not expect a Zero Punctuation reference, well done 😂

[@pandaua7426]

I want a full version of this song it actually started out really good. 0:44

[@josephkroll5517]

Loved this. Glad you referenced Blue Mage. God theres something satisfying about seeing a perfect BLU burst phase...

[@alrdye]

My god, this series is amazing. Each one feels like a blur but if you really pay attention and watch them repeatedly, not only will you be laughing, A LOT, but you'll learn some shit. Please do more!!

[@kaylads]

Two TF2 refrences in a FFXIV video made by my favorite DnD DM! All my favorite things. Thanks for this series Jo, it's always such a joy to watch! ❤

[@tauntednost142]

I main blue mage and you... kinda described it perfectly. congratz

[@Lorfo11]

MAIN Blue Mage?! WHY?!

[@JenDeyan]

You some kinda masochist?

[@UnPoisson]

Blue mage seems cool tbh

[@hmmmooops]

Main Blue Mage where?

[@tauntednost142]

@@hmmmooops Main Blue Mage that has many one-shot moves :D

[@LarvaTubaShow]

Another great one Joe! Wonderful as always ❤

[@Ax-xo4ux]

This entire series made me realize I am not as bad as I thought I was- that I indeed know what I am doing Thank you JoCat

[@SilentHana]

Blue Mage song is peak, thank you for blessing my ears

[@fd5934]

Thanks for the great videos you put out Jo, I just want you to know i tend to rewatch them a lot, sometimes as white noise, other on sad days, and sometimes because i want to watch something good and cheerful. Thanks for your hard work!

[@Narutobelieveit56]

When you don't know you need something but Jocat sings and then you know. You never needed something more than now.

[@saemitatsuya8419]

“There’s Ultravibration and rose of destruction and sticky tongue, snort, muster bomb. Abyssal transfixion, quasar, malediction of water, and fire angon. Peculiar light, feather rain and shock strike, song of torment and basic instinct. Flying frenzy and loom, acorn bomb, sonic boom, flying sardine, J-kick, final sting. Triple trident and white wind, and lvl 5 petrify, five thousand needles kinda sucks. There’s ink jet and, faze, and transfusion, and blaze, Choco meteor, and self-destruct. “

[@mr_p0p0ff39]

You really put in the work when making a video. Leveling up every class like you do

[@SlideIX]

I was already invested because it’s a JoCat/JoCrap video but as soon as I heard the Animaniacs tune I couldn’t stop the huge grin that instantly started spreading on my face.

[@WhyseWytch]

Commenting because our fallen brother deserves recognition. Slightly drunk, so I will say, I think it's bullshit and hypocritical that some of these views have made it their mission to chase away a sex-positive person who was the antithesis of toxic. JoCat, you are missed. But, most importantly, I hope you are living a fantastic life away from the trolls and haters who hate themselves and the world around them.

[@chuckstronggtx6863]

dang that song at the end. Took me back to my childhood! awesome video as always, Ty for the content.

[@kimi7396]

My man breaking out fucking Yakko's World was a treat

[@cosmicneko7225]

caught me off guard but gave me some nostalgia

[@JohnSmith-ux8yv]

I like to also stand in the ley lines as a summoner to help the blm feel special! Also, maybe cover the strange part of summoners that go through weird teen angst phases as they level. Early SMN feels nothing like late game SMN to the point they feel like almost entirely different classes rolled into one!

[@Gofr5]

So you're that SMN that jumps in to my leylines and then fills my screen up with Titan's massive butt and makes me not see the boss aoe that is aimed right at me and makes me take the hit. I mean, I wouldn't have moved anyway 😅, but I would've at least put up my barrier.

[@aidanjackson5084]

2:04 - Love the little snuck in Zero Punctuation joke/reference

[@TheFrantic5]

I appreciate your content, Jocat.

[@tomfranck8821]

2:04 i do see what you did there sir and i approve your taste in comedic game reviews

[@GrimnirsGrudge]

Fantastic as always. Finally Black Mage representation. My favorite class. Those aren't flaws! They're character building...

[@BombOmbBuddy]

After watching your talk at A-Kon I have a whole new appreciation for the A Crap Guide videos! Keep being awesome!

[@joenelson7928]

Can't get over how talented JoeCat is! Love seeing your stuff , hope you are well.

[@leadroftherats8488]

I don't even play ffxiv but these videos are hilarious. I love your editing style.

[@johnaldridge8611]

I've been waiting for this one and, as usual, JoCat did not disappoint!

[@sanddry738]

Happiest I’ve every felt outside of the story was the healer thanking me as a RDM for rezing them and the team constantly when alliance was close to wiping in Alegia during the last boss.

[@dragonboyexz]

Congrat on finishing series, I wish you all the best.

[@MrIrule111]

"Yeah I didn't forget, I was just hoping you had." Damn, didn't know Jo was part of the team that works on BLU updates.

[@zerumsiru5204]

This makes me want to play a blue mage to wander around as a traveling magician showing off magic to players only to finish it off with self-destruct

[@asnail7346]

Great work as always JoCat, kinda weird that the video just went white after 4:35 but I still enjoyed it!

[@matthewsmyth3217]

that Animaniacs reference was amazing. JoCat on point as always:D

[@Grimmevere]

i just recently started to play a black mage 2 weeks ago and i must say that jocat really motivated me to stray from my path from wow and try out ff14 :D so also thank you for that crapguide, which i really need in a few levels!

[@aa-id7li]

We miss you JoCat.

[@magolor3219]

5:17 this is great, the inhale before the song

[@magolor3219]

“There’s Ultra Vibration, and Rose of Destruction and Sticky Tongue, Snore, Mustard Bomb.” For the second one WHICH IS IT?!

[@vyldim3401]

Im so proud of figuring out slide casting on my own

[@LotusBoi1989]

one thing that super helps with slidecasting, is to get some emotes up on some hotbars on your screen somewhere. when they stop being greyed out, you can move

[@nathanmerrifield2309]

4:30 holy SHIT Jo *WHEEEEEEZING*

[@mme725]

Blue Mage might have problems. But it made the Animaniacs parody happen so its my new favorite class.

[@cuross01]

That final "suck it, black mage" satisfied my every need for the entire day. I have reached nirvana

[@someoneusedtobeknown2645]

That musical number was great! You really ended it with a bang!