Joe's Reacts Live: Lazerpig: The Myth of Wittmann

[@John2r1]

We do use a form of blitzkrieg. Because the Germans didn't invent it. And we also use something the Nazis freaking failed at. Called Logistics . In 1917, a brilliant British officer developed a way to use an emerging military technology: the tank. The British army promptly squandered the idea - but the Germans did not. Blitzkrieg, the devastating advance of German tanks across Europe in 1940, was invented by the British. The term was first used in the publications of Ferdinand Otto Miksche, first in the magazine "Army Quarterly". So we use a form of rapid assault but it's not the German version of Blitzkrieg.

[@wolffgangkertzvoneisbacht]

“The Italians did great in WWI” uh I’m gonna have to disagree with that one sir, just look at all the battles for the Isonzo.

[@thefoxyokai5030]

I mean, I guess they prevented an invasion from Austria-Hungary… then again the performance of Austro-Hungarian troops wasn’t exactly flawless

[@jameswhite153]

fun fact knipsel was czech. thats why he never received recognition.

[@almasbaibolov1446]

1:10:30 If you checked his small Wikipedia page, you will notice that he was born Czechoslovakia. Even more, unlike most of Czechoslovak (Sudetland) Germans, Kurt Knispel literally considers himself as ordinary Czechoslovak citizen, who just happens to be born in German family. He and all his family members fluently spoke Czech as German. He was born already after Czechoslovakia established itself as a country. And therefore had no sick nostalgia and vengeful feelings about aftermath of WW1. He never supported pro-Nazi separatists in Sudetland, openly opposed Nazi occupation of Czechoslovakia and had been arrested few time for his anti-occupation activity. Before 1940 he managed to avoid drafting into Wehrmacht by working in car factory. And even during his service he frequently drove crazy his commanding officers and pro-Nazi comrades. The only reason why he was not executed was due to his outstanding combat performance as tank gunner ( and later as tank commander). His favourite trolling tactic was writing and speaking in Czech outside of combat zones. All because non of his colleagues either understood Czech or found it disrespectful for German soldier to use language of conquered nation. All of it perfectly explains how the tank commander with such insane records and who been selected for Knight Cross of Iron Cross FOUR times was rejected every time. Even then he received his Golden Cross he managed to piss off his commanders and been arrested by military police: he participated in propaganda video with King Tiger tanks marching, where he had been spotted on camera for few seconds…Where he was poorly shaved himself, unbuttoned his tank crewman shirt and covered Imperial Eagle symbol on his chest with his Golden Cross (which he put upside down, as sign of disrespect). Totally savage. No wonder after his remains were discovered in early 2010’s Czech government agreed to bury him in Czech military cemetery in Brno. Yes, you can actually found his grave and pay tribute to him, if you like to. And as a cherry on top, staff sergeant Kurt Knispel was only 23. So, if there is some place like Valhalla, this dude is definitely there. upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/dc/Hrob_Kurta_Knispela.jpg

[@kodor1146]

"Even more, unlike most of Czechoslovak (Sudetland) Germans, Kurt Knispel literally considers himself as ordinary Czechoslovak citizen, who just happens to be born in German family." From where do you got that. Doubt that very much. Sudetengermans grew up in an entirely German environment and considered themselves as 100% Germans NOT as Czechs and they were usually 100% pro NS. Stop spreading myths.

[@lolloblue9646]

​@@kodor1146can you read? "Unlike most Sudeten Germans, he considered himself a Czechoslovak citizen"

[@kodor1146]

@@lolloblue9646 ""Unlike most Sudeten Germans, he considered himself a Czechoslovak citizen"" This is in fact wrong. He did not.

[@lolloblue9646]

@@kodor1146 ok. Now produce the evidence to back that claim.

[@kodor1146]

@@lolloblue9646 "ok. Now produce the evidence to back that claim." Well, he spoke German, he fought for the Germans, he was German...

[@rnukes]

Patton had a lot in common with Joan of Arc in that their main strategy was attack.

[@anzaca1]

43:12 They also put it in the Churchill, several tank destroyers, and later the Comet.

[@rnukes]

Kurt Knipsel wasn't German he was from Czechoslovakia and died defending it from the Russians.

[@Son_Kar]

49:10 this was personally my favourite part of the entire video because of how funny it was.

[@Skuldent]

Ah dang - missed the livestream. Well - let's see what Joe has on the Pig this time :)

[@jnightingale4049]

FUN FACT here in OZ no member of the armed forces can join pollical parties

[@metalavenger23]

That should be a factor in all armies. In the US you can join a political party but while you are in you aren’t allowed to do anything politically motivated. And you are strongly discouraged from even expressing political sentiments.

[@sailorgoon501]

Lazer pig appears to be incorrect with that final story involving Rex Ingram. According to online sources, Rex and crew survived Wittmann's retaliation, bailing out of their light tank which had been struck in the side and disabled, unfortunately the driver was trapped. Rex attempted to rescue his driver via the front hatch, only to be gunned down by machine gun fire from Wittmann's tank. War crime number three. Rest in peace Rex Ingram. o7

[@brennanleadbetter9708]

I guess things can get a little confusing with all that firing going on.

[@steffent.6477]

Shooting tankers outside their tank is a warcrime?

[@sailorgoon501]

@@steffent.6477 Maybe not, I was just riffing off of Joe's comment throughout the video. That said, if you've already disabled a tank and you can see the cre bailing for their lives, It's a bit cold to gun them down, especially if you see one attempting to save another.

[@steffent.6477]

@@sailorgoon501 Fully agree on that.

[@BradanKlauer-xh3hm]

And rest in piss Micheal Wittmann.

[@Rob_Fordd]

such a good video by him!

[@GregPrice-ep2dk]

I found this LP essay a little dryer than usual for him. I prefer teh funnier pig.

[@skyraider87]

Unfortunately, it seems Pig doesn't get taken very seriously when he's more comedic. He deserves to be taken more seriously because there's a huge wealth of knowledge here

[@lunar_nightmare0540]

Alfonse Juin is a good commander as well

[@lolloblue9646]

Should be pointed out he was a Vichy collaborationist who turned coat in 42-43, and then oversaw the war crimes of the French colonial troops in Latium and Southern Tuscany

[@ch-53esuperstallion76]

My boy didn’t even mentioned Dwight D.Eisenhower

[@lolloblue9646]

Ike was a logistical GENIUS

[@ch-53esuperstallion76]

@@lolloblue9646 fr he was

[@Skuldent]

Ok - I've been meaning to do a timeline for Joe's Lazerpig reactions for a while. It's time I stopped thinking about doing it and actually do it. Some caveats : - I have a very British sense of humour. Sorry about that. I'm British, it can't be helped. - This is my first attempt at a video timeline. There will be mistakes. Sorry about that too. - There are spoilers about the video below. If you don't want to be spoiled, watch the video first. Which you should be doing anyway. Why are you reading my drivel? - I turned the memes on this video into a drinking game. Don't do that, you will give yourself alcohol poisoning. Consult your doctor first before giving yourself alcohol poisoning. Timeline 1:13 Stream starts 3:45 Joe promises not to abuse his liver. (Place your bets....) 5:12 Pig video starts 5:58 Brief pause to explain who Wittman is alleged to be according to the misty-eye'd wehraboos. 6:36 Joe puts his head in his hands and cringes. Everybody drink 7:05 Joe wants to throw people out of the window. Who knew that him and Putin would agree on something? 8:02 Joe starts twitching. Everybody drink. 8:41 Joe wants to drink with the Pig. Wait, didn't you say you were NOT going to abuse your liver? Dude..... 9:24 Wehraboos appear. Joe cringes again (Drink!) 10:50 A brief explanation (using the word "ever" a few times) as to why they were never going to win the war. Wehraboos, pay attention! 12:02 Joe mentions Zhukov. Everybody drink. 12:45 Cringe number 3. You know what to do. 13:25 Inglorious Basterds makes an appearance. 14:05 Joe gets one of his least favourite headaches from the concept of the "refined German officer" 15:24 Lazerpig dumps on Guderian. Everybody drink. 15:36 Lazerpig dumps on Rommel as well. Drink if you still can..... 15:40 Joe massages one of his headaches 16:45 Joe sums up Italian warfare in a nutshell. 18:16 Lazerpig finally gets to the point and shows Wittman. Joe finds his face VERY punchable (Wittman that is, not Lazerpig) 19:52 Quick pause so Joe can explain why Pig keeps mentioning "True Bavarians" 20:40 Wittman gets famous during Kursk. Joe delicately points out who lost that battle... 21:55 Engaging sceptical sensors, Captain Kirk! 23:50 The US army gets sabotaged. Joe pleads for leniency. 24:40 Lazerpig does one of his trademark weirds. Joe is disturbed.And twitching. Everybody drink. 25:24 Monty Python reference (Missed the holy grail reference at 6:03?) 25:50 Joe regrets being sober. (Don't we all, mate!) 27:10 History studied as it should be - a rant about studying people. 30:25 Lazerpig uses footage from the Pentagon Wars film. Everybody drink! 30:40 Propaganda 31:31 The SS have an ego problem? Who knew? 32:08 Joe wants to piss on a Nazi apologists grave. Save some space on it for me, Joe! 32:25 British newspapers were not known for reliability in the 1940s? You should see what a shitshow they are now! (Sorry - bit of a personal rant there) 32:34 Trust me Joe, the horror stories are true. 34:15 Good video, badly presented and edited. Shame 36:10 Joe has head in hands again (Drink!) over British army drinking tea in war. Get used to it Joe, that's what made the British army. 38:25 A brief aside to discuss French hedges. Apparently they are not used to store porn. 41:33 The attack begins with Pistol Packin Mama. (Wut?) 42:20 Joe gives a brief aside about the Tiger tank. 42.50 Dog moment 43:10 The Sherman's gun and it's relationship with the Tiger. 43:40 The war crimes start 44:25 Pause for more Dog moment 45:50 We resume.....with more Dog moments 46:15 Let us continue. The battle begins. 47:00 Luck. A military commanders best asset. 48:00 Another Dog moment 49:20 An 88mm shell passes between his legs. Presumably followed by a warm wet feeling..... 50:00 Lazerpig dumps on gun penetration tables. Drink. (He's not wrong, by the way) 50:20 Creepy uncle Lazerpig will now educate the class about how Wittman's tank survived being hit. (Are you sitting comfortably, class?) 50:55 Joe appreciates the donation. Dog biscuits for Dog and Joe. Support here or on Twitch. Joe can give you the details. 51:52 Quick currency check. China. 53:45 More currency checking. Israel this time. 54:20 "I eese moron....." (Waves hands around) You can make you own joke about that one... 54:50 We get to the point about primary sources. Things can be misremembered or just be wrong. 55:30 £2 from Germany. Wait a minute...? (This will be Euros) 55:42 Monty Python reference. Are any of you able to chug another drink at this point? 56:24 Still Euros not Pounds... 56:38 The plot thickens. An ambush is set but not sprung. 57:00 The truth is revealed 57:38 Monty Python again. Just.....one....more....drink..... 58:20 Joe imitates the British accent. Needs work.... ;p 58:36 Joe cringes again. I'm on the spirits now. 59:11 Army politics causing havoc 59:50 "DON'T GO INTO POLITICS!" - that's good advice 1:01:20 Tiger turret traverse issues. So well known even World of Tanks has it in the game. 1:01:50 An excellent point that primary sources can struggle to remember events from 40 years previous.... 1:03:19 So what happened after Wittman left his tank? 1:04:11 The stupid small details that change history.... 1:05:38 Brits are now alert, German do not get their own way. (HAH! - quote by JoeScoutK9) 1:06:14 Let the propoganda begin 1:07:29 Nazi narcissist vs Unshaven soldier 1:07:50 What...what? (Joe is stunned as well) 1:09:30 Lie, damn lies 1:11:33 Wait - the SS weren't the superior force? Who would have guessed? (Oh, wait. Everyone.....) 1:11:52 Joe adds a drug charge to the SS war crimes. 1:12:40 Lazerpig dumps on the T34 tank. At this point I am syphoning fuel from my car and drinking that.... 1:15:15 Bringing the numbers all together and it turns out, Wittman done screwed up.... 1:18:00 Joe flips off those who claim to be alpha males, but are actually whiny little bitches. (He's not wrong...) 1:18:21 Lazerpig's epilogue to the video - the Stuart tanks at the battle 1:19.16 Rex Ingram - the man who played chicken with a Tiger tank. 1:19:49 Ingram's real impact on the battle. 1:20:30 Rex Ingram. One last drink for the video. 1:20:42 Joe sums up. 1:21:00 More Dog biscuits 1:21:46 Joe dumps on wehraboos. Quite correctly. 1:22:02 The part luck plays in the military 1:22:53 Reflecting on video dislikes from Wehraboos, Commieboos, and the rest that they have pissed off. 1:23:40 Wrapping up

[@carlossaraiva8213]

Rex Ingram, legend. I drink a shot of vodka in your honour.

[@BradanKlauer-xh3hm]

Zhukov? Pssshh. Rokossovsky was far better (though to be fair, Zhukov was a solid general).

[@dega11235]

I just hope you don’t stop the brony reactions those r 1000 times more enjoyable

[@Schluge96]

oh hell no! i could never abandon blissy!

[@OuPoot999]

Let's be fair: In war a numerical advantage is only an advantage if it's overwhelming, at least 10 to 1. Otherwise it doesn't count for anything (And to anyone with dumb ideas: Yes, yes; 5 against 1 means the 5 guys win almost every time, but that's not a war, that's a street brawl. We're talking large scale here). The Villers-Bocage story appears in at least one game I've played (You play as Wittmann). It's fun, but it doesn't seem realistic at all. One Tiger and a half-dozen infantry taking out an entire column of Shermans and Churchills and lots of infantry without really maneuvering? Right... To be fair that same game also has a mission where two Shermans, without infantry support, take on and destroy more than a dozen German tanks, with infantry support, including at least three Tiger 1's, a Tiger 2 and two Panthers... so realism wasn't really their goal. The game is called 'Soldiers: Heroes of WWII' if you're curious. It's not amazing, but I enjoyed it.

[@OuPoot999]

Also; no the Sherman's are not fireflies.

[@skyraider87]

Well to be fair, the Sherman was much more capable than the history channel says it was. There were cases of regular 75mm Shermans taking out several Tigers in rapid succession

[@OuPoot999]

@@skyraider87 Yes. The Sherman is a well rounded tank. However it's not amazing by any stretch

[@LESTR97]

17:00 Italy sucked in WW1 too. They only did well near the end when they got their shit together (mostly by canning Marshal Luigi Cadorna) & the Central Powers were weakened