Back in February 2024 Heather still had a few words left and she understood instructions, although as you can see, she really struggles to process simple things.
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@lynnlegault929723 күн бұрын
Look at her found her matching mittens, she looked so happy she did a happy dance.
@LCR3242621 күн бұрын
I'm impressed by Heather's agility. Also that you would take on this task with her as you try to keep her engaged. This is beautiful and sad at the same time.
@JohnvanGurp20 күн бұрын
Remember, this was a number of months ago. Things have really gone downhill since then.
@gianmatt193024 күн бұрын
It's scary to see how much can change in a year or even a few months. Thank you for shining a light on such a personal situation.
@JohnvanGurp23 күн бұрын
Even over period of a few weeks. I feel like there’s some new milestone every two weeks… It’s breathtaking.
@shayna.e.11124 күн бұрын
❤ she did good!!!! Lost of words from Heather and matched mittens too!!
@janj911116 күн бұрын
I am amazed at the difference since February. Your continued respect and patience for your beloved Heather. Just so beautiful but also sad 😢. I am also amazed at how carefully she came downstairs. As somebody with bad knees I do the same. Incredible she worked it out!!!! ❤
@GoalsoldАй бұрын
You're a wonderful and caring husband!
@JohnvanGurpАй бұрын
Thank you so much!
@SimoneNCАй бұрын
I’d be moving south lol😅
@sandrameredith2797Ай бұрын
My husband has dementia watching you has helped me, I am not as good a carer as you I am finding it very hard to
@antoinettecastle4739Ай бұрын
I love her! You can see how much fun she was pre the dementia! Waving her gloves to make you smile.❤
@acote502024 күн бұрын
This is a situation which people are not trained for in society in general. Usually the affected individual and the main care taker disappear from society in general. It is like the complete opposite of raising an infant. Instead of watching the growth of abilities you are forced to witness the collapse of the one you are committed to with no relief.
@JohnvanGurp24 күн бұрын
Nailed it!
@dianesollars8917Ай бұрын
You have so much patience and such a wonderful attitude regarding this situation. I imagine some days are better than others. I hope you find the strength to continue as long as you feel it necessary.
@JohnvanGurpАй бұрын
Thank you so much!
@DeborahJayneReillySmithАй бұрын
I cared for someone in very much the same situation but instead of the wonderful laughing Heather gives you, I got crying.
@JohnvanGurpАй бұрын
That must’ve been very difficult!
@DeborahJayneReillySmithАй бұрын
@@JohnvanGurp it really was. Keep strong, John. You are an inspiration and Heather is blessed to have you.
@mercywilliams2698Ай бұрын
Aww so sorry..🌸
@BobPritchardАй бұрын
Exhausting. I hope you have friends that can provide you with some time off. You deserve it!
@rrichardson53Ай бұрын
My husband had a hard time understanding words (plus he was very hard of hearing). I’ll never forget the first time he tried putting his leg through the sleeve of his jacket- it was so depressing and made me realize how much he was declining.
@cremebrulee4759Ай бұрын
❤❤❤
@marthaoliver1099Ай бұрын
My Mom had this & I’m 72 now & getting very forgetful . You do a great job with Heather .
@cremebrulee4759Ай бұрын
❤❤❤
@rrichardson53Ай бұрын
I had to do the shoveling when we had snow last winter as I was so afraid my husband would slip and fall (even with cleats on his boots). Your wife is in good physical condition! ❤
@JohnvanGurpАй бұрын
Not any more… she’s really stiffened up.
@juliamundt101Ай бұрын
Yeah, I don’t allow my husband with dementia to shovel, rake or carry anything. He is too unsteady & stiff. He has fallen backwards just standing from a seated position.
@berylmullen6686Ай бұрын
You have such patience xx
@donpeace894Ай бұрын
Fascinating and painfully real
@baysideharpy8350Ай бұрын
The honest truth is I don’t think I could show this much patience and compassion day in day out. It’s relentless and must be physically and emotionally exhausting. My spouse is starting to show a few “glitches” and we’re both terrified.
@lisawall9068Ай бұрын
It seems she doesn’t understand language. Why ask her to do something that she can no longer do?
@CeeDeeTeeVee26 күн бұрын
Maybe providing a reason to continue to try to help, to continue to try to understand and continue to use her muscles is beneficial.
@CeeDeeTeeVee26 күн бұрын
I also think it can give you feedback about her condition. Like she chose the matching gloves!
@lorim218321 күн бұрын
I agree as well. I have a type A personality so my frustration and anxiety would be off the charts.
@lezcanornАй бұрын
God bless you for sharing this video. You have a lot of love for your wife.
@CynthiaWord-iq7in14 күн бұрын
Gosh, she could do so much, so recently.
@montythepoodlepup9634Ай бұрын
Wow Heather and John look like a loving family couple UK 🇬🇧 Heather you look very young to experience this and John am in awe! Sending best of wishes and to know people care 😊
@debracutright5985Ай бұрын
It’s hard to tell, is she laughing or crying? You’re doing a wonderful job.
@JohnvanGurpАй бұрын
@@debracutright5985 I asked myself the same question every time… I think it’s half-and-half. Thanks for your kind comment. I really appreciate it.
@donnalittle150715 күн бұрын
I think she just hates the cold? Dementia individuals have an uncanny ability of communicating through the struggle
@JohnvanGurp15 күн бұрын
@@donnalittle1507 never did in the “before times”
@JanitBianicАй бұрын
Holy! Thx John this is a REALLY big deal. ❤
@juliamundt101Ай бұрын
My husband needs help dressing as he puts things on backwards, inside out and stacked (clean clothes over his dirty clothes). It’s a full time job
@grl9917Ай бұрын
She had the right idea of going back inside.
@JohnvanGurpАй бұрын
@@grl9917 haha yes! 🥶
@MeowImagesАй бұрын
2:35 Truer words have not been spoken! You channel makes me laugh and cry at the same time.
@JohnvanGurpАй бұрын
That’s probably a good thing… I laugh and cry about our situation too. I guess we are all human. Thanks for your comment!
@middlemarie2Ай бұрын
Some folks with dementia will pace until they literally collapse. They have no sense of fatigue
@PatriciaSuhr-jx2zhАй бұрын
My mom had this and wandered away one day. Ended up sitting on someone's porch. Lucky I found her. I would lock the doors all the time if I were you. She lived alone so went into a memory center. She was lost, did not know where she was or anyone around her. It was sad to watch
@middlemarie2Ай бұрын
I'm wondering if asking her where things are is stressful for her
@saltandpepper9389Ай бұрын
Same. It was really disturbing to watch 😢 I lost my mom for frontotemporal dementia, she was only 50+ when she got the first symptoms 💔
@roadwayronaАй бұрын
He's not putting her under pressure and helps her so she does in the end "find" things. And she even manages to match the mittens and seemed happy about that accomplishment. I think these small successes must be vital. You have to give them opportunities to get something right.
@poll2dock23 күн бұрын
At least she’s a happy dementia patient My mother was a mean nasty one.
@JohnvanGurp22 күн бұрын
I think that’s probably more common… I’m so sorry you have to deal with it. Take care.
@angelabaker8377Ай бұрын
She still has her sense of humor in this video
@northernlitez1Ай бұрын
This disease is so heartbreaking and especially in you ger folks like Heather I have a very dear friend, my movie buddy, we went to many movies together, who developed early onset dementia and has been in a nursing home and wheel chair for too long now. She is a shell of herself. I miss her soooo much😢 Sendi g love znd hugs
@JohnvanGurpАй бұрын
@@northernlitez1 I’m sorry that you’re grieving for your friend… it’s heartbreaking.
@2raelanaeАй бұрын
Oh my, she is steady on her feet.
@JohnvanGurpАй бұрын
Yes, but this was in February… big changes in the intervening 5 months. It’s crazy how fast things are progressing.
@sewmeonekenobi639Ай бұрын
Thank God, no mobility issues.
@JohnvanGurpАй бұрын
@@sewmeonekenobi639 bear in mind that that video was recorded in February… In the five months since then she has stiffened up and has difficulty getting in and out of bed, out of chairs, and more and has a shuffling slow gait. The speed at which of these changes are coming on is just staggering.
@sewmeonekenobi639Ай бұрын
@@JohnvanGurp I am so sorry for you both.
@toryberchАй бұрын
John please be patient with me as I too have a form of dementia as well as Parkinson's. My husband says he wants to care for me as I progress. Lewy Body Dementia is not as quick as what Heather has as to progression. I'm fighting the clock though. Sundowning is now a part of my life. Does Heather go through it if so I can sure use any tips
@JohnvanGurpАй бұрын
@@toryberch sorry about your diagnosis! Yes, sundowning is a regular feature here and it manifests as just pacing around and around and around. I have learned to talk to just ignore it as much as possible because there’s nothing else to be done from what I can tell. I just let her do her thing until bedtime. Please stay in touch! I hope that some of what I share might be helpful to you or your husband. *hugs*
@toryberchАй бұрын
@@JohnvanGurp thank you for responding so quick. I just subscribed and will be watching There's not a lot of dementia related couples on KZbin. I was following Theresa's journey but she sadly passed earlier this year I am almost 60 and it looks like Heather is close to my age. Maybe you could do a video of what she was like before her dementia hit. That would be nice to know
@angelabaker8377Ай бұрын
I'm sure this is trying and saddening for you
@SweetSassyBullАй бұрын
Watching the stress in her eyes when she can't process getting her gloves is so sad 😢
@AuntDi2Ай бұрын
Just found your channel. How long ago did this start and how old is she?
@JohnvanGurpАй бұрын
It started in the early summer of 2021, and Heather is now 63. Crazy eh?
@AuntDi2Ай бұрын
@@JohnvanGurp Extremely sad. Way too young. I will be 59 in August and can’t imagine.
@aileensmith680618 күн бұрын
John: why does Heather laugh?
@JohnvanGurp17 күн бұрын
Great question… She has no other way to express herself. Maybe that’s it.
@aileensmith680617 күн бұрын
@@JohnvanGurp thank you
@bettybelongia7213Ай бұрын
😢😢❤❤
@GrandadsOtherChannelАй бұрын
♥
@middlemarie2Ай бұрын
How long will you be able to keep her at home do you think?
@JohnvanGurpАй бұрын
That is the million dollar question! My aim is to keep her here until the end, but I do recognize that may not be possible. My guess is she has maybe two years left, but that’s just a while uneducated guess.
@middlemarie2Ай бұрын
@@JohnvanGurp I see. is it FTD? My friend's husband has that and he is losing the ability to swallow. The expectation is that within two years he will die of aspiration pneumonia. He can only eat pureed foods now.