John’s Dementia vlog - Heather shoveling snow - Feb 3, 2024

Back in February 2024 Heather still had a few words left and she understood instructions, although as you can see, she really struggles to process simple things.

[@lynnlegault9297]

Look at her found her matching mittens, she looked so happy she did a happy dance.

[@LCR32426]

I'm impressed by Heather's agility. Also that you would take on this task with her as you try to keep her engaged. This is beautiful and sad at the same time.

[@JohnvanGurp]

Remember, this was a number of months ago. Things have really gone downhill since then.

[@gianmatt1930]

It's scary to see how much can change in a year or even a few months. Thank you for shining a light on such a personal situation.

[@JohnvanGurp]

Even over period of a few weeks. I feel like there’s some new milestone every two weeks… It’s breathtaking.

[@shayna.e.111]

❤ she did good!!!! Lost of words from Heather and matched mittens too!!

[@janj9111]

I am amazed at the difference since February. Your continued respect and patience for your beloved Heather. Just so beautiful but also sad 😢. I am also amazed at how carefully she came downstairs. As somebody with bad knees I do the same. Incredible she worked it out!!!! ❤

[@Goalsold]

You're a wonderful and caring husband!

[@JohnvanGurp]

Thank you so much!

[@SimoneNC]

I’d be moving south lol😅

[@sandrameredith2797]

My husband has dementia watching you has helped me, I am not as good a carer as you I am finding it very hard to

[@antoinettecastle4739]

I love her! You can see how much fun she was pre the dementia! Waving her gloves to make you smile.❤

[@acote5020]

This is a situation which people are not trained for in society in general. Usually the affected individual and the main care taker disappear from society in general. It is like the complete opposite of raising an infant. Instead of watching the growth of abilities you are forced to witness the collapse of the one you are committed to with no relief.

[@JohnvanGurp]

Nailed it!

[@dianesollars8917]

You have so much patience and such a wonderful attitude regarding this situation. I imagine some days are better than others. I hope you find the strength to continue as long as you feel it necessary.

[@JohnvanGurp]

Thank you so much!

[@DeborahJayneReillySmith]

I cared for someone in very much the same situation but instead of the wonderful laughing Heather gives you, I got crying.

[@JohnvanGurp]

That must’ve been very difficult!

[@DeborahJayneReillySmith]

@@JohnvanGurp it really was. Keep strong, John. You are an inspiration and Heather is blessed to have you.

[@mercywilliams2698]

Aww so sorry..🌸

[@BobPritchard]

Exhausting. I hope you have friends that can provide you with some time off. You deserve it!

[@rrichardson53]

My husband had a hard time understanding words (plus he was very hard of hearing). I’ll never forget the first time he tried putting his leg through the sleeve of his jacket- it was so depressing and made me realize how much he was declining.

[@cremebrulee4759]

❤❤❤

[@marthaoliver1099]

My Mom had this & I’m 72 now & getting very forgetful . You do a great job with Heather .

[@cremebrulee4759]

❤❤❤

[@rrichardson53]

I had to do the shoveling when we had snow last winter as I was so afraid my husband would slip and fall (even with cleats on his boots). Your wife is in good physical condition! ❤

[@JohnvanGurp]

Not any more… she’s really stiffened up.

[@juliamundt101]

Yeah, I don’t allow my husband with dementia to shovel, rake or carry anything. He is too unsteady & stiff. He has fallen backwards just standing from a seated position.

[@berylmullen6686]

You have such patience xx

[@donpeace894]

Fascinating and painfully real

[@baysideharpy8350]

The honest truth is I don’t think I could show this much patience and compassion day in day out. It’s relentless and must be physically and emotionally exhausting. My spouse is starting to show a few “glitches” and we’re both terrified.

[@lisawall9068]

It seems she doesn’t understand language. Why ask her to do something that she can no longer do?

[@CeeDeeTeeVee]

Maybe providing a reason to continue to try to help, to continue to try to understand and continue to use her muscles is beneficial.

[@CeeDeeTeeVee]

I also think it can give you feedback about her condition. Like she chose the matching gloves!

[@lorim2183]

I agree as well. I have a type A personality so my frustration and anxiety would be off the charts.

[@lezcanorn]

God bless you for sharing this video. You have a lot of love for your wife.

[@CynthiaWord-iq7in]

Gosh, she could do so much, so recently.

[@montythepoodlepup9634]

Wow Heather and John look like a loving family couple UK 🇬🇧 Heather you look very young to experience this and John am in awe! Sending best of wishes and to know people care 😊

[@debracutright5985]

It’s hard to tell, is she laughing or crying? You’re doing a wonderful job.

[@JohnvanGurp]

@@debracutright5985 I asked myself the same question every time… I think it’s half-and-half. Thanks for your kind comment. I really appreciate it.

[@donnalittle1507]

I think she just hates the cold? Dementia individuals have an uncanny ability of communicating through the struggle

[@JohnvanGurp]

@@donnalittle1507 never did in the “before times”

[@JanitBianic]

Holy! Thx John this is a REALLY big deal. ❤

[@juliamundt101]

My husband needs help dressing as he puts things on backwards, inside out and stacked (clean clothes over his dirty clothes). It’s a full time job

[@grl9917]

She had the right idea of going back inside.

[@JohnvanGurp]

@@grl9917 haha yes! 🥶

[@MeowImages]

2:35 Truer words have not been spoken! You channel makes me laugh and cry at the same time.

[@JohnvanGurp]

That’s probably a good thing… I laugh and cry about our situation too. I guess we are all human. Thanks for your comment!

[@middlemarie2]

Some folks with dementia will pace until they literally collapse. They have no sense of fatigue

[@PatriciaSuhr-jx2zh]

My mom had this and wandered away one day. Ended up sitting on someone's porch. Lucky I found her. I would lock the doors all the time if I were you. She lived alone so went into a memory center. She was lost, did not know where she was or anyone around her. It was sad to watch

[@middlemarie2]

I'm wondering if asking her where things are is stressful for her

[@saltandpepper9389]

Same. It was really disturbing to watch 😢 I lost my mom for frontotemporal dementia, she was only 50+ when she got the first symptoms 💔

[@roadwayrona]

He's not putting her under pressure and helps her so she does in the end "find" things. And she even manages to match the mittens and seemed happy about that accomplishment. I think these small successes must be vital. You have to give them opportunities to get something right.

[@poll2dock]

At least she’s a happy dementia patient My mother was a mean nasty one.

[@JohnvanGurp]

I think that’s probably more common… I’m so sorry you have to deal with it. Take care.

[@angelabaker8377]

She still has her sense of humor in this video

[@northernlitez1]

This disease is so heartbreaking and especially in you ger folks like Heather I have a very dear friend, my movie buddy, we went to many movies together, who developed early onset dementia and has been in a nursing home and wheel chair for too long now. She is a shell of herself. I miss her soooo much😢 Sendi g love znd hugs

[@JohnvanGurp]

@@northernlitez1 I’m sorry that you’re grieving for your friend… it’s heartbreaking.

[@2raelanae]

Oh my, she is steady on her feet.

[@JohnvanGurp]

Yes, but this was in February… big changes in the intervening 5 months. It’s crazy how fast things are progressing.

[@sewmeonekenobi639]

Thank God, no mobility issues.

[@JohnvanGurp]

@@sewmeonekenobi639 bear in mind that that video was recorded in February… In the five months since then she has stiffened up and has difficulty getting in and out of bed, out of chairs, and more and has a shuffling slow gait. The speed at which of these changes are coming on is just staggering.

[@sewmeonekenobi639]

@@JohnvanGurp I am so sorry for you both.

[@toryberch]

John please be patient with me as I too have a form of dementia as well as Parkinson's. My husband says he wants to care for me as I progress. Lewy Body Dementia is not as quick as what Heather has as to progression. I'm fighting the clock though. Sundowning is now a part of my life. Does Heather go through it if so I can sure use any tips

[@JohnvanGurp]

@@toryberch sorry about your diagnosis! Yes, sundowning is a regular feature here and it manifests as just pacing around and around and around. I have learned to talk to just ignore it as much as possible because there’s nothing else to be done from what I can tell. I just let her do her thing until bedtime. Please stay in touch! I hope that some of what I share might be helpful to you or your husband. *hugs*

[@toryberch]

@@JohnvanGurp thank you for responding so quick. I just subscribed and will be watching There's not a lot of dementia related couples on KZbin. I was following Theresa's journey but she sadly passed earlier this year I am almost 60 and it looks like Heather is close to my age. Maybe you could do a video of what she was like before her dementia hit. That would be nice to know

[@angelabaker8377]

I'm sure this is trying and saddening for you

[@SweetSassyBull]

Watching the stress in her eyes when she can't process getting her gloves is so sad 😢

[@AuntDi2]

Just found your channel. How long ago did this start and how old is she?

[@JohnvanGurp]

It started in the early summer of 2021, and Heather is now 63. Crazy eh?

[@AuntDi2]

@@JohnvanGurp Extremely sad. Way too young. I will be 59 in August and can’t imagine.

[@aileensmith6806]

John: why does Heather laugh?

[@JohnvanGurp]

Great question… She has no other way to express herself. Maybe that’s it.

[@aileensmith6806]

@@JohnvanGurp thank you

[@bettybelongia7213]

😢😢❤❤

[@GrandadsOtherChannel]

♥

[@middlemarie2]

How long will you be able to keep her at home do you think?

[@JohnvanGurp]

That is the million dollar question! My aim is to keep her here until the end, but I do recognize that may not be possible. My guess is she has maybe two years left, but that’s just a while uneducated guess.

[@middlemarie2]

@@JohnvanGurp I see. is it FTD? My friend's husband has that and he is losing the ability to swallow. The expectation is that within two years he will die of aspiration pneumonia. He can only eat pureed foods now.