My Husband Isn’t Meeting My Sexual Needs (How Do I Talk to Him?)

My Husband Isn’t Meeting My Sexual Needs (How Do I Talk to Him?)
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[@thesprinklebox4841]

"diarrhea is better than throwing up but they're both not great" - Dr. John Delony 😂😂😂

[@alluringbliss4165]

Throwing up is not fun, it usually comes with a migraine and it can take up 3h till it happens while I deal with the stomach pain.

[@ambernelli7791]

That should be on a T shirt.

[@clicksation]

Depends on the location actually

[@phipsdeus2]

I have a solution: have sec anywhere other than the bedroom.

[@ED-hi1vo]

Sometimes a person can be attractive physically, but not sexually appealing. Humans are complex. I personally have experienced this.... One of the best looking people I EVER had was completely disappointing sexually.

[@listrahtes]

Thats why virgin marriages are such a bad idea. There are people we do like a lot but there will never be any sexual chemistry and it destroys a marriage from within. There are limits on what we can work on It happens to a lot of people .

[@ED-hi1vo]

@@listrahtes I VERY much agree!

[@BanjoPixelSnack]

Yep. My first boyfriend was male-model good looking, tall, dark, all my friends were jealous. But he did nothing for me. There was just no chemistry whatsoever and he was terrible in bed (hasty, selfish). After we broke up I met the man who was to become my husband. Crazy chemistry. I knew instantly he was the one, not just intellectually and emotionally but my body told me he was the one as well.

[@DuffyGabi]

Title should be, “Wife spends 15 minutes on national radio, unable to effectively communicate what’s actually going on in the marriage.”

[@maam-yj8ph]

Alternatively, "Husband won't talk about his problems at all."

[@marlenigz]

“Ready………. FIGHT!”

[@ancientmage666]

Epic😂😂

[@HauntedCadaver]

Who is yo say she hasn't already tried talking to him about it? So many men are depressed and on ssri which effects the sex drive. My own partner is this way. My drive is higher than his and it is what it is.

[@mariahconklin4150]

@@HauntedCadaverthat’s what I would go thru all the time it sucked so I finally ended things. It wasn’t only that either i was just done

[@zeal4god402]

Things to address: -Having the deep, sensitive, sexual conversations -Getting help for his inability to climax -Addressing past trauma, present exposures, physiological/psychological concerns, present behavior/lifestyle choices that could be inhibiting climaxes -Taking the distracting tech out the bedroom

[@nessauk2786]

What a great talkb

[@simplyelvi5676]

100% spot on

[@finngamesknudson1457]

Need to add - change how she responds to his inability to climax. If he’s staying harder she should appreciate his ability to continue until she’s done and express that appreciation to him. Also experiment with different positions, it can make an immense difference. She said they are inexperience - if they haven’t already they should try oral. Husband will be able to focus on pleasing her while his erection, or lack thereof, is irrelevant. I imagine learning how much he can please her may help him resolve or at least manage his emotional trauma. Certainly would help provide her the release she so clearly craves.

[@ursulaturner7980]

Amen!

[@CalebsCars]

There’s always something deeper and people absolutely suck at communicating

[@whitneyw.7919]

One thing - you don’t need sexual experience with others in your past in order to have a great sex life w/ your spouse

[@listrahtes]

But it helps a ton. Its like with everything else, experience is learning and is making you better. People always have this idea of fairy tale waking up , best wait for marriage to have sex, and it rocks. Nope nothing does work like that and reality is there are men and women that might really like each other but are incompatible in the bed. From all the stories patients tell me, the big majority of virgin marriages have problems in the bedroom.

[@Rio26202]

@@listrahtesYou act like people can’t learn to be compatible. Thats is absolutely false

[@listrahtes]

@@Rio26202 oh sure they can but if you do have some experience you also realize there are people with whom you are simply incompatible sexually and marrying them is a catastrophe. With religion sex. Is so overloaded that partners often loose the relaxed creativity to make it work. But hey if it works for some great

[@BanjoPixelSnack]

Agree. I had one previous partner before I met and married by husband when I was 22. I didn’t need to keep trying other men once I met him. I knew he was the one and the chemistry was there. We’ve been together 19 years now.

[@karinesavard2016]

True, it actually worsens the experience because men think they understand a womans' body because they did a lot of ONS with fake orgasms etc. Every woman is different and a mans' ego thinking "all women must like this" is a huge turn off. Start from scratch, communicate desires and wants and never pretend to know it all. Take your time!!!

[@Riceblox2000]

I hope he’s had hormone bloodwork because it can be a hormone/pituitary issue that needs to be addressed.

[@katysummer9418]

Ban all the devices from the bedroom and start talking to each other. Cell phones, TV's etc. Are disconnecting you from other humans.

[@elisemiller2244]

Update on this for sure!

[@ShanaeMarie]

As the wife it is okay to make the moves. Put the devices away, get naked, and pounce on your husband. How is a sexual connection supposed to ever get to the point of satisfaction if no one is even attempting to face the uncomfortable facts. Facts being the excuses of why your sex life suck are simply because you haven’t given yourselves the opportunity to create a good sexual connection. The more you have sex, the more vulnerable, honest, and transparent you are naked body to naked body…clearly learning each other can only lead to a good sex life for the marriage.

[@emilyblack8982]

I don’t think that’s true, it’s feels terrible to be the only person that ever initiates and then once you have you run into dysfunction issues and think gosh I really shouldn’t have even tried.

[@kaiung7542]

I'd pounce on you if you were my wife

[@ShanaeMarie]

You’re not with a man who loves your vulnerability enough to see the gorgeousness of it.

[@shaneanfriends]

@@StephanieElisabethStevens ​​⁠​⁠He is not enough for you! Either he is mentally ill or just an unworthy piece of trash, that has to go. Nobody has the right to make you feel that way. You deserve to be loved and wanted. I hope this was in the past, if not, don’t be afraid. Much love and peace for you, sister

[@Doofwarrior88]

No tv or screen use in the bedroom.

[@crazycuttee]

Lmao I couldn’t stop laughing when John said “ugh thank God, and then you got some aww yeah time, and then you’re like meh” 😂😂😂😂😂 I had to rewind it few times just to hear it again ❤❤❤❤ the way he describes things is exactly how I sound with the sound effects and all that it’s amazing to hear others express it the same way

[@Lexi3strada]

She was trying to make sense of it and excuses instead of getting straight to what the actual problem was, which she knew bc she admits it was something wrong with him forever basically. She just generalized “fertility issues” then kept brushing it off instead of pin pointing it….. so this is basically about ED but the wife should of talked about this before they got married to him- not 5 plus years later. Like why live a horrible life on purpose?? Also, John should have caught those key facts that she said and moved the convo that way. His mindset was somewhere basically emotionally when it was actually physically.

[@breannaneville4332]

So many people go into adoption without truly realizing what's involved/how long it takes, etc. There's such a lack of understanding about something so huge and I think if people went into it more aware that would help with some of the issues and emotional hardship along the way

[@EmpressMermaid]

You're very correct there, families often don't truly see the process for what it really is. While I greatly admire families who take in foster kids, quite a few go into it as a means to go "baby shopping." They can then start to see their desires for fulfillment as more important than what's best for the child. It should never be an adopted child's place to "fill that void in our hearts" or ease their heartbreak from infertility. The whole dynamic can become unhealthy at that point.

[@filipefigueiredo9847]

Adopting a child with all sorts of mental health issues sounds to me like the perfect definition of "complicating your life and justifying why" Hell, having your own biological child, healthy both physically and mentally, will always add some complexity to your relationship and force the parents to adjust to the new reality (i.e., it's hard enough) While I admire couples who adopt kids and try to do their best, I personally don't think I would ever sign up for this (and if I did I migh end up resenting both my wife and the kid)

[@EricMoore790]

The story of my life!

[@alphonsemele6493]

Ditto

[@pimaggot]

Go get some cialis

[@towpottsfam7631]

13:37 she tried to lead with this and you didn't let her you shut her down. You said I don't want to know about the past

[@tiffaleah6690]

Because she led with the idea that they were inexperienced, not that he had trouble climaxing. This is a huge difference as it leads to potential health issues instead of just not knowing what they are doing in the sack.

[@xohouseofballoons7840]

I was married to a man like this. Couldn’t climax except with porn and his hand. I suspect he was a victim of “exploitation” when he was young. Got married when I was 19. Begged him to speak to a therapist and he flatly refused😢Divorced in 1991. No kids of course, thank heavens.

[@2okaycola]

Good advice

[@vicp99]

Ongoing and major Sxl dysfunction since he was a teenager. So she married into a problem. I have a few suspicions, and some are things that can’t be overcome. But I also do not think these two will be married in another five years. Maybe if he gets a full health work up and she cuts back on activities 🤷🏻‍♀️?

[@cynthiagalvan837]

@vicp99 What would be your suspicion ? Po*n ?

[@bayareacali]

This sounds terrible and frustrating for any men to go through. I hope he gets the help he needs.

[@T-CainesZR1]

Its hard to get details from this women.

[@Pilled_red]

It sounds like when she talks about how inexperienced they both were before they hooked up that she’s thinking about asking for an open relationship.

[@emily43210]

She and her husband sound very committed to the relationship and it sounds like despite this issue she's adamant about no divorce, she says they flirt, and he sounds very excited that she was going to ask for help. Sounds like they are committed to each other, and good people too who took the hard path adopting a special needs child. Doubt she'd want to destroy her marriage with semi consensual cheating.

[@teresaw9668]

I had this marriage and my ex decided to date people at work and it cleared up... he's been gone for a year.

[@brittanysbets2626]

You didn’t want sex or he didn’t?

[@bignickenergy723]

Good for him

[@tomnohmy1273]

My marriage, though im single is how i feel about Dr J and hes awesome so my make believe marriage is rockin.

[@joinjen3854]

You have issues. Get real help.

[@taylordactul]

I wish they linked the full video to this call 😩

[@stephaniec5215]

Big bellies lead to ED. Body types like the financial advisors who recommend ‘beans and rice for years!’ and ‘top ramen/cup of noodles!’ to save money.

[@rustyshackleford6637]

I'll go ahead and let you know I've got a huge boner

[@MrHCify]

😂

[@AYKAY88]

what!? 🤣🤣🤣

[@WilingtonProductions]

Bro are you brain dead?

[@HelloHolaOi]

People in Brazil eat rice and beans as their staple food, exercise a lot and in my view they seem like a sexy people. Very sexy! Don't blame the rice and beans.😂

[@Rubigirl33]

No tv in bedroom and no phones

[@jenniferbrooks--planj5459]

This works if you both go to bed at the same time. If not, one person will just read or stare into space until they fall asleep.

[@tanyamilewski5700]

Infertility and special needs kids can impact intimacy because people tend to have a picture of what life they want or are signing up for and get disappointed if it’s not the case. Some people end up divorced over infertility and special needs kids or even death of a kid. Because although people say till death they don’t really mean it or at least their bodies/hearts dont fully appreciate what that means I get a sense the husband wasn’t up to the adoption thing and faking it during the day. He doesn’t want that life and she is dragging him along

[@abetterme7013]

Does he have a secret porn addiction?

[@HauntedCadaver]

Not to mention, having kids doesn't have any sort of script. As a single mother, I'm miserable in toddler hood, and my daughter is definitely AuDHD, as am I. Nobody told me how exhausted I would be. It also saddens me when friends tell me they will be there to help, then not. Being autistic, this feels almost cruel.

[@jedg4746]

Just to add to the husband not wanting to adopt. The special needs kid has basically turned them into two state carers. Not a couple. The bedroom is when the husband is confronted with the mental space he is in. He has to avoid that mental space because it would cause to much pain. Arousal is impossible in this situation.

[@brianlewis8722]

He couldn't get to the climax, and she can't get to the point. 😁 Seriously, good for them being open to getting help.

[@amelianinan]

My husband and I we sleep in different rooms for the last 10 years of marriage. Was hard. Is hard.

[@MAXWUZHEAR]

A couple of years ago around the 10th year of being together with my gal. I slept on the couch for like 7 or 8 months. Back then I put excuses like were going to sleep better because I come in late have trouble falling asleep and move around a lot. Looking back it was all excuses from my part. She confronted me about the issue and I changed my bad habbit. Either way I dont know your full situation and in no way am I giving an opinion just sharing what happened to me. I hope that the day of tomorrow if that is somthing you want to change that it comes with ease. I can feel that this has been difficult for you, and you are strong for sharing such a personal challenge.

[@paulam408]

A lot of people don't want to talk about the pitfalls of adoption. Add to it that it's a special needs kid & that puts an enormous amount of stress on a marriage. Frankly, I wouldn't have even considered it.

[@2okaycola]

Kids still deserve to have supportive families even if they have issues; the state always compensates!

[@ST-rj8iu]

Many that adopt special needs do it because they have a savior complex. It is not about the child.

[@Will97675]

Every child deserves a loving home. It takes special people to adopt. It’s not for everyone.

[@MrJimmy3459]

Yea well she's a better person than you

[@mylesgray3470]

Sadly some low income people adopt special needs kids for the paycheck from the state. It hungers kids a home, but for the wrong reason in manny cases.

[@sydguitar99]

How did she not lead with the fact that he can't climax?

[@Madinaash]

That stick out so much. My man just gets there by looking at me. Maybe there’s cheating? Maybe they’re just over worked?! No team work? he doesn’t wanna bone her. Thats odd.

[@theshunnedBandersnatch]

​@@Madinaash I doubt he's cheating; she said he's had this issue since he was a teenager. It could be due to some sort of sexual trauma.

[@OldManJeff]

@@Madinaashyour man is not married to you. You aren’t doing life together in the same way. There isn’t the same level of stress, exhaustion, familiarity, bills, etc…

[@dahliaherrod4301]

@@Madinaash Could be too much masturbation and porn. I read that chronic masturbation can cause ED.

[@HauntedCadaver]

​@@dahliaherrod4301this is called death grip syndrome and it is a legitimate problem in men in the last decade.

[@thekjjackson1649]

I know that she always wanted to adopt, but I think that it is wild that they chose to adopt a child before figuring out what exactly the issue was that they couldn’t have children of their own at that point.

[@BREEZYM6015]

I want a woman like that. I mean, I would like to have a woman in my life that wants intimacy as much as I do. I'm separated from my wife and we live in separate states so intimacy has been absent from my life for quite some time. On a side note, we adopted our son as a newborn due to my wife not being able to have children. He's now 19 years old.

[@eduardocod8924]

Women that can’t communited properly 🤣🤣

[@holliee8070]

Thanks Dr. John. You hit the nail on the head. Ditch the phone, laptop and TV. Also make sure he hasn't replaced being with you by watching Pornography. It's a horrible addiction as Dr. John knows. You're husband also sounds like a dismissive avoidant. Pornography will also cause ED. Buy the book by Gary Wilsons Your Brain on porn. Doctors will medicate but never ask the right questions. Good luck!

[@helenalderson6608]

Does he take SSRIs? That a potential cause that can occasionally be a permanent change even after the medication is stopped.

[@meghannicole4391]

Oh wow Toronto Canada Cool that’s new

[@Digitalhunny]

Toronto has been around for a few years now! (Sorry, I couldn't resist.) 😂😂 Howdie from Canada, eh?!

[@crazyfirebender15]

If it’s painful for him he might have femosis I think (I’m not a doctor) but Marie Antoinette’s husband had it too and they just had to circumcise him and then he recovered and he was ok

[@joetz1]

topical steriod ointment treats phimosis, not surgery

[@FilthyMcNasty69]

​@@joetz1doubt that existed back then lol

[@phipsdeus2]

Honestly, he needs to go to the doctor, go to quest diagnostics for labs, and he needs to go to the gym.

[@mylesgray3470]

Anti-depressants had this effect on me. I quit taking them, problem solved immediately. These drugs are no “fun” 😂

[@flch95]

@@mylesgray3470perfect example of modern medicine. Fix one problem and create another that will also need fixing

[@BiomedicalDesigns]

It happens. Someone has some low something if there is low fertility in the first place. Might need some testosterone both of them. MH therapists need to start suggesting that those levels get checked out first and then, no devices in the bedroom, etc.

[@BiomedicalDesigns]

Yes, I agree. I did have a client whose physician did supplement testosterone. Also, testosterone is sometimes imbalanced in women as I am sure you know.@@SarahConnor562

[@LetsBeClear87]

Whatever this comment section is smoking eludes me. She’s an effective communicator, the SITUATION is convoluted. Listen better

[@whitneyw.7919]

Sounds horrible that he cannot get off. That’s just terrible, I hope he/they can get some help because its going to be tough to have a good sex life without that

[@lauraunderwood5971]

I’m full of passion my husband has none I’m hanging on by a thread.

[@dabd8175]

Not surprised

[@tiffanysweeley4553]

I would have gotten to that issue real quick my first question would have been what’s wrong is he not any good?

[@rachelsickels5273]

If he has ED, he could be using too much porn or masturbation and has no more attraction to his wife. But going to the urologist to rule out no other factors.

[@giantfatberg]

I missed the Candida part but I knew it when I heard “aboot”

[@MostBoringNameEver]

I'm sure you mean *Canada* 😅

[@giantfatberg]

@@MostBoringNameEver haha, yeah. I didn’t hear anything about yeast

[@MostBoringNameEver]

@@giantfatberg 🤣🤣

[@maam-yj8ph]

Ironically if the husband is feeding his Candida species too much, that could be a missing puzzle piece.

[@rebeccaspratling2865]

​@@maam-yj8phgreat point!

[@mariatorres9789]

Start by taking the TV out of your bedroom. Wink wink.

[@10coolfacts]

There is one simple answer for this. Homeboy's hormones are out of whack. He needs to get his hormonal health in check. Low testosterone is common and results in tragically low male libido and bedroom confidence. He can fix this in a few months, but he needs to take control of his health.

[@Mellowmichelle]

He could be dismissive avoidant

[@aarondavid5866]

thank you for adopting?

[@CalebsCars]

He needs to ask if sexless couples are fit or overweight

[@MrHCify]

What a Clickbait title you all went for.😂

[@Rouge1292]

How?? Her sex life sucks! 🙄🙄

[@Youngone78]

And yet… you commented after watching the video 😂😂😂

[@jennalavena]

how is it clickbait? 😂

[@semosancus5506]

Please don't cut the little guy up. He'll never work again.

[@Suzette-gb7uj]

I am a big proponent of no television in the bedroom. The bedroom is for two things, and they both start with an S.

[@Justthefurofus]

I hate to think like this, but maybe he didn’t want kids? Hopefully she and him gets some help and can make their life much better

[@goodtaste4]

"it sucks". apparently not.

[@faraha2826]

I see what you did there 😄

[@chez_calabrese]

He needs to see an endocrinologist not a surgeon for Pete’s sake

[@christinaslocum8761]

And perhaps. Urologist

[@tylerdurden4080]

I'll ask the question. Are they overweight?

[@Anonymous-ik5fh]

I suffered alot with a selfish wife......she's great at taking selfiez and posting them....she pretends to be this sexual tiger .....but when it comes to me I will always be last.......tired of it all

[@berenikesdare]

"Is this any hint this is psychological" ...porn use usually leads to ED or climaxproblems

[@WorldReserveCurrency]

Sounds like he feels like he's not getting any attention. If she's out with all her activities who's taking care of the kid? Where is she for him? Sounds like she thinks about the life she wanted and just adds to it without thinking what his life needs.

[@thatsthejobbb8587]

I wonder if they regret the adoption?

[@justynagalos3569]

Me too..

[@rachelgooden9981]

Oh no so sad

[@JoMama123451234]

Seems like ED and maybe too ashamed/embarrassed to talk about it in public forum

[@ElMachoMucho]

This is a super misleading clickbate title that you should change

[@brightpage1020]

Maybe "Canada gets candid about sexual dysfunction"?

[@harambe095]

This guy is on KZbin trying to drive views to his channel, and the title draws you in. Don't hate the player, hate the game

[@user-ut2bw1vz1q]

How? That's how she leads the question... If he picked what she says in the middle, it ruins the suspense and conversation.

[@user-ut2bw1vz1q]

@@SarahConnor562 waaaay before that she actually leads with "I really do not like sex." She then goes on to elaborate on that and describes how it is with her husband. Then she says " I don't know what to do". That's exactly what the title is. She gets into the reasons later down the line but that's the whole point of why the title is an intro. I don't see how it's clickbait at all. In fact, it's a perfect description of the content.

[@user-ut2bw1vz1q]

@@SarahConnor562 Exactly back to my original point. If you describe the middle or end of content, it takes away from the viewer's experience. There's no question to what's to come. I don't want them to tell me the end result before listening.

[@eeayquetting5963]

This lady is all over the place

[@AvionBlackstone]

The comments section here is... 😂

[@CG-po8gy]

Maybe she wants him to try “kinky stuff” that he doesn’t want to do

[@usernameheda]

I’m crying 😭 as if it took her that long to reveal such an important piece of information

[@SpongeBobSquarePantsNickJr]

This is why I avoid relationships. 😂

[@tomnohmy1273]

Performance anxiety

[@eduardocod8924]

With a wife is crazy 🤣

[@zoelife7272]

they did not address basic psychological and fertility issues, ran to adoption and then received a child that drained their lives. they resent their lives and have no viable outlet

[@tomnohmy1273]

Amanda, ill help u

[@MrHCify]

Potential fatty?

[@user-jw1bl4hq9j]

First …let’s talk about his secret porn habits , then talk about his secret female “ friends” ….then talk about him not being bothered with emotional availability……and the list is big ….

[@giantfatberg]

Good points. And I didn’t even think of it. SSRIs will do that as well

[@sherridevries9144]

Yes, porn issues ✔️

[@scratch57]

Agreed, John missed every obvious question. If a man doesn’t have basic sex drive with his wife he has deep issues that are his alone to resolve.

[@jackwatt8988]

the big list of things you completely made up? Everything you said is possible, but you speak as it's a given and not a possibility.

[@user-jw1bl4hq9j]

@@jackwatt8988 I know what it is cause I work with men like that as a professional.

[@LaBrendis]

Dammn my heart goes out to this couple specially the guy. 😔💔 🙏

[@LB-ku6ry]

This interview was painful to listen too. Just leave the guy alone. He will do what he wants.

[@HashPhantom]

Props to them for adopting but in that same vain you have NO idea what the parents were like which will always lead to problems later on that you can’t deal with.

[@ryansack5198]

Just get off your devices they’re poison

[@jambajoby32]

To be fair, and this isn’t consciously on purpose, I lost the lust for my partner when she gained weight. Idk just not something I crave. That being said, I also have been here when I didn’t trust my partner or felt she was veering off

[@jackdeniston59]

If there is no point in climaxing, ie infertile, why bother? His body knows....

[@angryox3102]

Because it feels good? Guys who have had vasectomies still have sex.

[@josephmorgan2738]

Put him on TRT and have him go to gym. Work 5 hours less a week.

[@swamparse-dp7mg]

She can't bring her story to a climax.

[@steveb8269]

Sound like husband needs a psychologist not a surgeon

[@karolkozak64]

He should get his testosterone level checked before anything...

[@aramisy.cajigas744]

Take the dogs outta the room.

[@kristenivory628]

Gay?

[@flozzy1626]

i like how you ppl always resort it to that its mad

[@miketheyunggod2534]

So selfish.

[@A-ps5gg]

Your husband is ashamed and perhaps feels disrespected.

[@ryangardner7709]

Ooooorrrr maybe he’s trying to not heard your feelings . Let me put it to you this way, give him a hall pass with someone younger, then call the show back .😂

[@robertkauffman8137]

Maybe if you shut up, he would.

[@Rouge1292]

You can either have a sexless marriage or one filled with infidelity.

[@chuckokoye2410]

A middle ground does exist buddy lol

[@Jeremy-wp4yh]

​@@chuckokoye2410what's the middle ground?

[@chuckokoye2410]

@@Jeremy-wp4yh a marriage when you have sex and don’t cheat on each other? not having sex in marriage is not normal. The likelihood of infidelity is a lot higher in marriages that aren’t having sex

[@Jeremy-wp4yh]

@@chuckokoye2410 no. You said theres a middle ground between not having sex or infidelity. So if you're not cheating, and you're not having sex. Where's the middle ground?

[@beefcakesensei]

Either you have absolutely no idea what you are talking about or someone hurt you, and in that case, you still have no idea what you are talking about.

[@marcuslosgreat4225]

Her sex life sucks because he husband put her in charge of it. He lets her lead. He lets her dictate the terms. Kills it every time.

[@johnnyflannigan136]

Hes gay

[@edhog]

Why doesn’t Dr. John ever ask if the couples are still hot? Hey lady, are you hot still? That’s a legitimate question. If she’s morbidly obese it’s probably not him that has the issue. This can be flipped at the guy too! I know a guy that was complaining about his wife not loving on him, you can smell this guy from around the corner and he’s 100lbs overweight. Why isn’t this ever addressed.

[@tessaelto1472]

Because beauty is in the eye of the beholder and "hot" is different for everyone.

[@tessaelto1472]

Also, "ugly" people can still have great and fulfilling sex lives

[@edhog]

@@tessaelto1472 the question, could be asked directed to the person. Do you think you’re hot in the eyes of your husband/wife? Are you doing attractive things in the eye of your husband/wife? I mean I’ve seen marriages fail around me while one person was significantly higher in attractiveness and the other had completely let themselves go. Then one of them will admit “our love life failed”…. Yeah dude you’re 300lbs.

[@SilkyG917]

You'll get flamed and/or people will be dense in responding to this, but I completely agree. Hard not to notice that whenever these kinds of discussions around sexual dysfunction are had, the men are consistently asked whether they're active / relatively fit and/or fulfilling some vague sense of the "masculine ideal." Women are rarely asked these kinds of questions, by contrast. The focus is usually more on the emotional connection. Both men and women have an obligation to at least *make an effort* toward being sexually attractive and retaining some level of vitality. Especially when we live in an age when there are infinite temptations for the wandering eye.

[@edhog]

@@SilkyG917 this 100%. It’s my responsibility to make sure I’m taking care of myself the very best I can do I can take care of those I am responsible for. That in itself means regular exercise and eating right and as a result I’m lean and mean… just like my girl likes and as a result an element of our life together is very robust. It’s easy math and FULLY expected in return, a very long an in depth discussion that was had prior too exclusivity and the relationship being cemented.

[@FrankS111]

I feel so awful for her husband. She wanted to adopt a special needs kid. She gets to “have lots of activities to take care of herself” where her husband “just has work”. He has to work…I’m sure come home and take over child care. Then had to have all the energy to initiate intimacy. Just divorce him and take your fairy tale with you. Let him have the house and child. You can go out and have all the mind blowing sex your heart can take. You’ll be crying for your husband in less than 6 months.

[@davidwoolbright3675]

Good thing you aren’t a counselor Sheesh.

[@flashthecorgi2053]

Umm sir adopting a special needs child is a mutual decision. Don’t you dare put this all on her! Seriously, that’s so messed up! What if he also wanted this beautiful baby. He’s the one who won’t go get help either psychologically or having the procedure that could get this figured out. She’s the one seeking out help, and trying to do things. Her husband is CHOOSING work while she’s trying to better herself and workout.

[@FrankS111]

@@flashthecorgi2053 she’s the one complaining here…not him. So yes…I will absolutely dare to put this on her. You don’t get to make decisions in life and cry about the consequences that follow. As I said… she can take her Disney fantasy with her if mind blowing sex is such a high priority or she can get a job and relieve some stress from her husband

[@flashthecorgi2053]

@@FrankS111Why in the world would you put her adopting a special needs child only on her? That’s a mutual decision. The husband probably is super happy with his baby girl. Also, she’s not complaining. She’s asking for guidance which he’s too cowardly to do and instead just hides at work. It’s ridiculous how much to use your words back at you “simp” for men. You are doing the exact thing you accuse Delony of (making every excuse for the woman) just reversed for the husband here. He’s not innocent in this case. But you’re just like “poor husband has zero choices, was forced to have a special needs kid, and work all the time” 💀

[@jones2277]

that was your takeaway?

[@18wheeler76]

This guy is so uncomfortable on camera. Always acts weird asf in the beginning of every call

[@danielsemmens6640]

Sex is overrated trying to make it more than bodily function is stupid

[@secretsiren6769]

You don’t need sex in marriage, this BS about intimacy and connection is leading people into a fairy tale. Sex is for one thing only, procreation.

[@F22C1]

I used to think the same thing until I discovered I'm asexual. The concept of casual sex wasn't a thing for me until that discovery. I can't relate one bit, but most people seem to prioritize sex rather highly.

[@enlightenedad8941]

You don’t need sex in a marriage? You must be a female. lol

[@chuckokoye2410]

being in a relationship with you sounds awful lol, y’all should keep your distance from this one

[@WallStreet_MadeMe]

No sex in marriage sounds like a living hell… what type of person doesn’t want to be wanted aroused needed felt touched. Not orgasming female or male will lead to nothing but depression and everything else negative in life.

[@jackwatt8988]

Sex is also for enjoyment. Many people enjoy their sexual relationship. Saying it's only for procreation is strange. For you, maybe, not for everyone.

[@Pilled_red]

Something else is going on here that she isn’t being forthcoming about. She’s made the husband insecure for some reason.