Brother Sexually Molested Me When I Was Young. (No One Talks About It)

[@carolallison9685]

When kids that young (10/11/12) do this to other kids its a huge red flag that they themselves were being abused. I wouldnt be surprised if an adult family member had molested his brother and this was his brothers way of acting out so to speak.

[@SarahR2D2]

😢😢😢😭😭😭

[@enaibee1661]

Didn't think of that! Good point!

[@ellea2541]

Very very true

[@Mexicobeanpole]

Absolutely.. It’s what he was taught.

[@johniii8147]

Would explain why Mom or Dad never said anything. Know telling what what was going on in that family, but good chance he wasn't the only one abused.

[@taetoomer8812]

My mother married a man that raped his own daughter. He sexually abused me from the time I was in kindergarten until I was 13/14. My mother basically told me in court that she was never leaving her husband for me. The issues that I have in my life today (32) are a direct result from what happened to me as a child. I pray that any child in this situation are rescued from it and get the help they need. To all the survivors watching, you are loved, you are worthy, and you are deserving of every good thing that happens to you.

[@mirabella2154]

Absolutely horrible. Hope you get the help you need.

[@taetoomer8812]

@@mirabella2154 thanks! Therapy helps so much

[@nativegirl8186]

I am so sorry that happened to you! Thank you for sharing your truth and encouraging others who might have been through similar experiences ❤ Your mother is/was not deserving of the title of mother imo, because she did not only fail to protect you, she chose to not believe you. I am sorry that was the mother that you got in the parental lottery. 😡 I hope that you continue to heal and be a beacon of hope and inspiration for others ❤

[@PresleysMom]

I'm so sorry you're Mother chose not to stand up for you!! It shows how little she thought of herself to leave her husband!

[@PeterViet]

Jesus Christ... I'm so sorry to hear that. I can't watch those podcast anymore. Those people are evil to its core. You can't compare this to anything more evil than that. Shooter, or a random murderer is for me a better person than a man you described. I can't even process this. Take care I rly mean that.

[@jgee1888]

My brother did stuff to me. I ended up confronting him when I was 55 years old, he's 10 years older. He denied it and told other family members I was going to say that about them as well. Other family members didn't believe him but believed me. Parents knew nothing was my best guess. I have had no contact with him any longer. Other than at my moms funeral. I feel better not having to see him ever again. All he had to do was repent and he wouldn't. I was 8 years old. Don't let them escape. Expose his actions. Talk to your parents.

[@112887db]

I told my mom that this happened to me (I was 9 but didnt tell her until I was 18) She said well you seem fine now. She even told me not to tell my dad...

[@rubipotter1980]

@@112887db I’m so sorry to hear that 😢. This kind of actions of our parents is what makes the damage even greater 😠.

[@veeno3983]

@@112887db I’m so sorry I hope you do confront it and take Dr. D’s advice to meet w a counselor to prep the conversation

[@terminatormkii6354]

Wym 'repent and he wouldn't l'

[@strnglhld]

@@terminatormkii6354 Acknowledge that he did it and apologize

[@starrystarrynight6281]

I visited my aunt in Atlanta and she was 70 years old and she shared for the first time in her life that she had been abused as a child…she cried. Broke my heart.

[@tundrellaCat68]

I'm glad you were there for her, I'm sure it helped her.

[@vidareggum6118]

And you are the first person she told. Says a lot about you, I think. A lot of good❤

[@lashondap9924]

Thank God she was finally able to release her truth! May God you all

[@NatashaGill-wr1nw]

I'm so glad you're ant put that trust in you says he'll alot trust she has in you not easy to admit you were victim of abuse I hope it helped your ant to get it of her chest it's alot barrage to carry all these years I pray it's start of the healing process for her I wish you and your ant every blessing throughout rest of your lives good luck you both

[@pixie9499]

that’s.. profound. i’m glad she finally found enough trust in someone. you must be a particularly loving human being🫶🏻

[@rickruthstrom222]

I applaud this caller. I was 36 years old before I discussed being sexually violated with my parents. The shame is not mine. The guilt is not mine. I did nothing wrong. There have been so many individuals that helped me get through this. It’s a lifetime of work.

[@lucillecairns6765]

Way to go! Bless you.

[@jwaterlotsof1260]

I had a friend that would drink heavily and act strangely like retreat and sit in silence and stare , one night I just had a feeling to say “ we aren’t our mistakes , our past doesn’t define our future” . She broke down and told me that she had been sleeping with her brother from ages 11-17 , he was 17-23 . After much discussion he had manipulated and groomed her , and her Shame now is coped with addiction and self hate . It’s sad to watch , she is such a nice human and now a nurse . She has fear of losing her family but I told them to share the story . She is worried for his own daughter now who is coming up to 10/11 years old and she notices the way he treats her was the same as her . I told her to speak up before that happens to the daughter . I said he has a child / incest obsession .

[@barefootcleaners]

That was good intuition you had with her. Speak up for her if you know the family. The niece deserves someone to protect her.

[@jwaterlotsof1260]

@@barefootcleaners hey lovely compliment thanks . She cried when spoke with her just astounded at how I knew . I will try get a in with the family cause he is not touching that little girl and I will go to war for her even though I don’t know her : it’s the only right thing to do . Hope your having a good week .

[@lisafritz7376]

​@@jwaterlotsof1260 thank you for doing that, that little girl can live a happy life without the trauma her aunt endured, because of you!

[@sparklesp9304]

She may need to offer his daughter a place to stay if anything happens to her.

[@amy_ambrosio]

It'd be awesome if she can go to the police and talk about this

[@Koshrocreations]

My big sister did this to me several times when I was 6 and she was 12. My parents still defend her after so many years of emotional abuse and said I'm the culprit... so I had to cut all of the family out of my life. They are never gonna talk to me again, they're dead to me.... and I'm the one going to therapy, having depression and to be medicated because of it. Protect your children, otherwise don't have them. Period.

[@Homeschoolingu-c8j]

I’m so sorry. I pray for your healing and good for you for cutting out people who don’t deserve you!

[@RachelSings21]

I’m so so sorry this happened to you 😞 hope you find healing

[@Susan-io8jr]

I'm so sorry this happened to you. Sending you 💓

[@boxelder9147]

I love your last sentence. Dang peeps dont have kids just to have them. Your bringing another life into existence

[@nicolee7263]

I’m so sorry no one believed me either

[@Mjl449]

My mother also did nothing and told me not to speak of it. I feel his pain.

[@judysears6417]

I am so sorry that your mother did that..... you know just listening to this started a different spot in my mind I have a feeling my mother sexually abused my older brother who sexually abused me I've never thought of that before but I think it's true cuz I can look back on certain things that I saw as a little kid had no idea but I think it's very very possible...... my mother is almost 92 still alive today and she suffers from extreme physical issues so I guess that wouldn't surprise me if it real if that really did happen that physical pain would not surprise me....

[@alycewich4472]

@@judysears6417 I am so sorry you had to go through this.

[@alycewich4472]

@MJ L44 - I am so sorry you had to go through this.

[@RLucas3000]

It sounds like his mother did do something since it “stopped abruptly”. What else should she have done, sent an 11 year old to jail?

[@Mjl449]

@@RLucas3000 counseling? Going to the authorities for advice on what needs to be done?

[@HelloHello-pg6ik]

Being molested as a child too, it really messes with you throughout our whole life. I feel for you bud

[@kristaw2686]

This happens in families so much more than people realize. Maybe if we can erase the shame about talking about it, we can help people come forward and also stop it from happening so often.

[@YesYesYesJeff]

I actually think quite clearly that shame based family systems who keep secrets like this CAUSE sexual abuse to happen more than sexual abuse causes shame based family systems to keep secrets. Secrets and unaddressed shame are the problem. Family systems based on lies and shrouded by FOG are the problem. Sexual abuse is an effect.

[@mariahconklin4150]

Exactly.

[@jayster1774]

Amen

[@dorothywillms115]

Erase the shame???? NO!!!! Hold the person who did this accountable. He should face the shame forever!! If kids start talking about it they will think it must be fun and become more curious. These are very very touchy matters and should be dealt with between the victim,victimizer, parents and a counsellor. If other kids in a family know of it they also are victims. But talking to the public or other kids isn’t the smart thing to do. By gossiping or making fun of things makes it even worse.

[@Dan-cb5xx]

Well put!

[@pooh4025]

I pray for healing for this caller

[@annwallace9537]

I just wanted to reach through the phone and hug him.

[@chinwenduchinwe586]

🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

[@rosalieG-n3s]

What if the brother is still molesting? Other family members need to be aware to protect their children.

[@david2723089]

better have proof

[@RachelSings21]

@@david2723089what the hell??

[@ammcroft]

Right!?

[@bluliite]

You can speak about what happened to you and warn people without proof. Ignore these proof people. A lot of people go through crimes they don't report but it's only the raped and molested they try to silence. (But be wise about it, don't get yourself in trouble).

[@chilo8187]

@@david2723089Lifelong trauma is the proof.

[@Guitarlvr01]

I feel like Dr. Deloney almost cried for this man. He has such a compassionate heart. How horribly sad.

[@listrahtes]

Come on it's a communication tactic. He does that in near every talk always with an intensity that isn't authentic to him but used as a technique that someone opens up. It is quite the american way to overemotionalize to show you aknowledge. I don't judge him for it but there is no connection to an inner emotion.

[@pinkkfloydd]

@@listrahtes Uh, no. It's literally a therapist's job to empathize.

[@listrahtes]

@@pinkkfloydd It is but not stuff like "oh now I want to cry, or with the onlyfansmodel " oh i would like to be with you right now because you are so awesome". Thats stepping right into their emotional mess.and taking their chance away getting clarity. Your job as a therapist is not to throw them into emotional turmoil again and especially not bring in your emotions they now also have to deal with. Its a classic I experience that in some end of life care therapists. They want to feel so they bring in their pain and by that completely taking away the patients ability to feel safe and be able to deal with his situation. But hey maybe this overblown emotional statements is the american way of engaging. Here it is seen as blatantly unprofessional because no matter what he is a stranger. I think Delonys conclusions are often excellent!

[@tryan7]

Then he asks callers, why me? Why not?

[@TheColesjeff12]

@@listrahtesare you ok man?

[@jessiejoseph1093]

I just sent an e-mail to Gavin Newsom to ask why we have a statute of limitations on reporting childhood sexual abuse in the state of California. I would report my abuser if I could.

[@SharronFrey]

Fellow Californian here….because our state has a SOL on filing a criminal complaint, I sued my abuser (a former family member) in civil court. I settled for way less than I should have, but I accomplished my goals: it came out publicly and his family now knows. I was able to confront him and take my power back. A civil suit is something you might consider.

[@wertsdfg7579]

I’m confused. Wasn’t this removed?

[@sparklesp9304]

Because California has Hollyweird.

[@punkrockgirl488]

Because that means a LOT of men in high places would get in trouble. It’ll never happen.

[@KufLMAO]

I would imagine it exists for the reason any statute of limitations exists. Once enough time has passed it’s impossible to establish a concrete case. It sucks but that’s reality. The state can’t resources on a case that is a dead end. You know how hard it is to establish enough solid evidence to even CHARGE someone for this kind of crime even if it only occurred a matter of weeks or months prior? I am aware that there was a policy change by the Biden admin to remove the statute of limitations for the federal judiciary, in the rare instance where a sex crime would fall under that jurisdiction. I don’t think that will apply to your case but maybe worth checking out?

[@RMBF89]

"People who suffer abuse at the hands of loved ones, often spend their life trying to make sure everybody else is okay; and the one person they don't make sure is okay is them". That slapped me right in the face and then hit me in the chest and knocked the wind right out of me - its 100% true.

[@samanthaburd586]

It hit me the exact same way.

[@lisabarrett219]

It is so true and I hadn't realized it until he said it

[@lizvingert6442]

Same.

[@michele21auntiem]

Holy crap, that is so true of my life.

[@zoereid8104]

That line hit me too

[@marklingerfelt4965]

My brother tried to two times. I was 12 and he was 16. The first time I hit him and gave him a black eye. The second time I bit him. Nothing was the same after that and I haven't spoken or seen him since he was 18.

[@agadonk]

Good on you. Just the attempt is traumatizing.

[@missinginbc]

My brother tried that with me as well. I kicked him out. Thankfully he didn't force anything. It made our relationship very weird afterward. I kept him away from my children while they were growing. I never told any of my family members or parents.

[@kjlucky6501]

@user-nm9gc2uo2u you are the worst kind of person. I want you to know that despite your intentions, comments like these are extremely harmful. Keep you beliefs, but don’t approach victims with your “forgive and pray” bs. Give us space to talk about and process and grieve what happened without people like you telling us what we need to do and that we need to forgive and even pray for the people who hurt us. This is just another example of their needs being prioritized of their victims. Please reconsider saying stuff like this in the future.

[@robertameuchel4786]

GREAT for YOU !!!

[@Andible]

​@user-nm9gc2uo2u Jesus tells us to forgive and that does NOT mean to allow the person access to hurt you again. Forgiveness is to stop the hatred in your own heart. How dangerous and dumb to try to convince people to put themselves in vulnerable positions claiming God would want them to. God hates the workers of iniquity.

[@Homeschoolingu-c8j]

My heart is breaking for everyone who has commented that they had similar horrific experiences. Praying for all of you, I’m so so sorry.

[@aceautonewportky]

63 I was molested by my favorite uncle, when I was 7 many times, I was made to think this is normal. And am gay, but always wonder what would have happened if not taken in that path. My heart truly goes out to this young man. He is a survivor.

[@Ri57490]

Are you trying to imply that bing abused by your uncle made you gay? If you were abused by a man, wouldn't it make you more repulsed by men rather than attracted to them?

[@jasonallen703]

Me too, two of my step brothers molested me when I was around 4,5, 6 and I have allot of religious guilt wondering if that turned me gay and going to perish in hell. I tried to be straight and would feel better about it being gay if that trauma didn’t happen. One of my brothers admitted it to me after I recalled the events and it did seem like dreamed but I remember all the details.

[@MelissaKelleyHaircuts]

I'm so sorry that this happened to you.

[@Love4kittens-Fostering]

Dear this didn't make you gay and it's okay that you are gay. Don't be ashamed for it! And Don't listen to wannabe religious people, dont let them make you feel bad for your sexuality. Be who you are! Stand up for it! You have a right to be happy💙

[@Kyleeanne]

Yes it did make you gay. People deny it all the time, but most gay people have been sexual assaulted at some point in their life. And boys who get molested by other men usually turn out gay.

[@PowerDiva]

Kids don't have the inclination at 11-12 years old to do that to someone unless they learned it somewhere else. I am willing to bet his brother was abused by someone prior to abusing him. It's an awful pattern, unfortunately that tends to repeat itself. I'm glad John suggested counseling first, before anything else. These are a lot of feelings to work through and you really need a professional sometimes to help you understand them. And you have to be able to understand them, before you can start healing from them.

[@charlesterrizzi8311]

Not true and people need to stop assuming that.

[@ShyneOn]

That's pure bullshit !!!! How dare you make justification for a pedophile. People molest and grape people all the time that have never been abused. Your out of your mind for this ridiculous comment. Yes it happens but only a small percentage. Do some research

[@Angel-hm9so]

​@charlesterrizzi8311 more true than not.

[@percyweasley9301]

YOu don't know or cannot be sure about that. 12 year old kids do all kinds of things.. a gay kid was sexually molested by classmates in my country, in class 6,7.. Those kids knows about these things... 💥💥

[@Deborah-so8mv]

@@charlesterrizzi8311some people are psychopaths.

[@ireneedmonds4712]

My mom knew about it when I was 14. She kept me silent for so long. Now I’m going to try to press charges against my brother. And perhaps my mother will get some kind of punishment for child abuse

[@lexiegirl1494]

So we're you able to do anything or did the statue of limitations stop you?

[@deeh5126]

Good luck dear! I found out (too late) that my ex husband molested his younger sister. It still breaks my heart when I think about it, because she didn't tell anyone till over a decade later. And the family reaction was NOT what it should have been. And I was no better, because I believed my (then) husband's narrative. Later I learned more about him, and this kind of crime, and the effects it has on victims. I have since apologized to my former sister in law for not being a safe place for her when she needed it. I will forever carry the guilt of not believing her and standing with her. But I am so glad that I better understand now, and I will always be a safe place for ann abuse victim. Happy healing.

[@harry-d1t]

Reporting your brother to police now to punish him considering that he was only a child at the time is wrong . If he did this to you at such a young age shows a great indication that some adult has abused your brother . The reality is that neither of you did any thing that were your faults

[@fancyfree8228]

I wish you the best of luck with this but please do not place your healing on whether or not you get justice. ❤️

[@therealdeal3672]

​@@harry-d1tshe said she was 14 at the time she didn't say her brother was a child at the time. He might be 5 years older. And it is healing to make a perpetrator address and take responsibility for their crimes. Having been potentially a victim themselves does not excuse their behavior. Get it right.

[@crystalhull1677]

Ken seems very self aware, which I think will eventually lead him to healing. Sometimes its enough to just acknowledge it, say it out loud, face it, and then it starts to lose its power.

[@judysears6417]

The first step is to talk about it but that's not enough to heal from there's a series of many things you have to go through in order to be free xo

[@Cymricus]

this right here is forgotten about too often. we give power to things for years and years that we could let go once acknowledged

[@LindaPixie]

My brother sexually abused me up to the age of 13 when I went into care. I was 40 when I went to the police. He got 10 months in prison ! for admitting only 9 counts of abuse. My story is way to long to tell but now I have no family because none of them helped me

[@molly5262]

I’m sooo sorry!! I don’t know you personally but I believe you!! You are not alone. I hope you find peace someday & to he** to those who don’t believe/support you!!❤❤

[@michele21auntiem]

Linda, i am a sister. There are so many of us out there. My monster is finally dead. i hope you have healing people in your life. 🫂

[@MusicKnowte]

You are very brave and I don’t know you, but I care for you 🥺💔

[@fantym-1]

There is truly some type of societal enabling or complicity when sentences for xexual offenses are so trivial

[@Voodoofoxx]

​@@molly5262What happened at 40 to make you come forward?

[@joelrobertsonmusic]

Disturbing how many of us share the same story. Didn’t get therapy for 15 years but when I finally did it was such a help.

[@teresabennett7534]

Ken, find counseling ASAP. You have taken the first step, lots of people die with the weight on their shoulders, heal your soul. You are brave!

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

I wish my dad, my predator, would take any responsibility, he won't. He blamed, shamed, and threatened me, when I was 12 1/2., it went on for decades. Sick bastard! I won't be silent to protect him or his brother Roger. They have a brother Ken, not an abuser, his wife, they have two daughters, I told them about Dad, the major threat, not to let him around the girls, alone. He can't be trusted. I warn other family, other women, especially those with daughters, not to let him near the girls. He mistreats women, too. He's an asshole. The other three(including Uncle Ken) are not like these two. I am 60 now, and still won't trust Dad. Or Uncle Roger. They are evil! I did not have kids, so another generation of girls won't be sexually abused by these two vile, evil men. Dad, the major threat, expects me to take the blame, I don't. He expects me to be silent, to protect him, I don't do that, either. I can forgive you, but these two expect to be let off the hook, forever. They don't deserve it. I forgave my mom, who, when I was 5-11 years old, warned me, but could not protect me, at that time. She did, however, when I was 26, insisted that I tell her(now,late, whom I lived with for almost eleven years, though not at that time); and my sister about Dad's sexual abuse to me. She didn't believe me. Dad lies. He makes it all my fault, he knows he's 100% at fault. He expects me to forgive and forget/aka let him off the hook. He still tried, during the pandemic, knowing that, years earlier, he had SARS, to kiss me on the lips and hug me inappropriately(the kiss/hug did not happen). He's sadistic, narcissistic and misogynistic. Besides being a predator. He won't take any responsibility, what a jackass! My sister has a daughter and a son. I warned her decades ago. I hope she finally kept the kids(especially the daughter) away from him!)

[@BanjoPixelSnack]

My husband shared with me that he had been groomed and abused as a child by the verger of the church where he was a choirboy, over a period of years. What makes it even worse was that the church was his refuge from his violent bully of a father. He was 48 when he told me this and we had been together 16 years. I'm the only one he has ever told. He was scared I wouldn't believe him which broke my heart. I just feel so sad he carried it alone for so long. The abuser died several years ago so there is no hope of any justice.

[@KnightRunner777]

My older brother did stuff to me too man. I confronted him when I was 20 and he said he doesn't remember and quickly ended the conversation. Same brother who molested a 14 year old when he was 19.

[@KnightRunner777]

He's a pastor in Texas now.

[@rae5834]

@@KnightRunner777Now, that’s a scary thought. I’m so sorry that happened to you. I hope you’ve been able to find healing. 💗

[@tetasnuttyworld6203]

How terrible

[@nolabae]

Go to his church and openly tell his sins. No seriously I hope you notify someone at that church because I'm sure he's around kids.

[@machellep1]

They almost always become pastors or church members cause they think that absolves them even while they keep doing it.

[@BeautifullyBroken1022]

I don’t have any contact with my brother either. My husband asked me why I don’t like my brother and I told him my brother was horrible to me as a child. Too ashamed to tell the truth 😞

[@KufLMAO]

I mean… that is the truth tho. It is a pretty horrible thing.

[@Luke-zv6bb]

u can tell your husband

[@SophieTalksTooMuch]

Tell him, I promise it will be ok and it will feel healing, especially if you never told anyone else, you have to release it and cry in his arms and it will start to stitch up the brokenness

[@Luke-zv6bb]

@@BeautifullyBroken1022 u also, and this is a really cool thing, don’t have tell him, it’s literally ur choice

[@Luke-zv6bb]

@@BeautifullyBroken1022 and I’m sorry this comment thread keeps bringing this up for u, but feedback, is how I can Gauge what ur goals are because this is ur experience and u don’t need advice if it’s some desperate attempt for other people to comfort themselves when they see your pain

[@fishgills5317]

I'm in tears right now! There are lots of other Kens in this world

[@SarahR2D2]

😢😢😢😭😭😭

[@dorlisastjean4072]

I am a Kendra in that situation

[@EliseWood]

@@dorlisastjean4072 I’m one as well. My grandpa next door when I was 7.

[@alycewich4472]

@@dorlisastjean4072 I am so sorry you had to go through this.

[@alycewich4472]

@@EliseWood I am so sorry you had to go through this.

[@taylordougherty2419]

This hit terrifyingly close to home. Me and this guy are nearly the same age, we were molested at same age, by the same person. John talking about how people who are abused spend their whole life making sure others are okay. I have spend so much energy and have sacrificed so much of my life for others but yet have never cared about myself. Never even realizing that the abuse is probably the reason for me being like that.

[@beelarehman5992]

Time to put you first.

[@mariahconklin4150]

That makes sense thanks for sharing.

[@dr.bradshaw]

Thank you for sharing. How are you doing now, Taylor? Have you made any progress on this?

[@jgee1888]

I’ve learned that so many counselors and social workers never realized why they picked that field. It’s no coincidence. Like the popular book says: “The Body Remembers”. My body reacts to certain things from the past. Now I know why.

[@JourneyDestination]

What happened to you is wrong. It happened to me, too. That said, anything you’ve done as an adult is on YOU! Understand? You are responsible for your actions, and only you. That includes not treating yourself right (whatever that means)

[@Julian-le3ov]

This hits home, coming from a 23year old struggling with the same circumstance.

[@Gurligurl1924]

Get someone to walk with you, praying for you.

[@endzmondayz2865]

Dude me too... But I am 24!

[@mariahconklin4150]

me to Julian you're not alone.

[@samirataubmann]

I am so incredibly sorry ❤️ wishing you strength and support to heal and be safe

[@republiccooper]

Open up to someone close to you, or like a priest or pastor. Pray about it too and, if necessary, find a therapist.

[@1amG1G1]

Praying the caller finds peace and healing. ❤️

[@elisekhan808]

This episode just made me realize that this is my problem too. I have been suppressing so many memories, and so gaslit by the predator my whole life. I was convinced it was a hereditary mental health problem. But I’ve never related to someone so much! It actually feels so good to feel it click in to place. It’s like having a joint popped back in its socket.

[@dewilew2137]

♥️♥️♥️

[@mariahconklin4150]

See we aren't crazy.

[@halliadams5987]

☺️☺️👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

[@piphughes2650]

This caller is brave and very strong. I'm impressed with him.

[@jeffmusgrave3691]

So glad this guy called in. My mother was a sociopath, and she abused me with negligence. This was very helpful to me. Thanks 🙏

[@XXMemeDadXX]

You are a very brave man! Hope you get some professional therapy soon and heal from this mess. I know it healed me after receiving therapy for over a year.

[@bradleymaravalli2851]

Great job talking this out Ken. I'm not a counselor, but when I first shared my trauma, that first step was the majority of the work. Halfway home brother! Good luck and God bless.

[@ashleypowers4177]

Stuff like this would make me wonder if he stopped with just his little brother or if there are other boys out there that he moved onto.

[@ellieperez1716]

Or if perhaps the brother was also a victim of abuse. This is heartbreaking.

[@beeezeee1783]

@@ellieperez1716 this is exactly what I was wondering too. The red flag went up when I listened to this.

[@bradleymaravalli2851]

I've been wondering this too. If there were others that the older brother took advantage of.

[@reillybab1]

My exact thoughts !!

[@ejbatu]

I was thinking about the same thing... his brother needs to be confronted. If his brother has kids, the kids need to be checked to make sure they're not molested.

[@RG-hf4et]

My heart breaks for this caller and anyone else who has experienced abuse of any kind. I hope he & others can find peace after such emotional trauma. Sad story.

[@lifeisbannanas]

I wish more Christians would react to abuse the way you do

[@sassafras988]

​@@lifeisbannanaswith Christianity I feel as if this is ataboo

[@lifeisbannanas]

​@@sassafras988facts. They're hypocritical. . And the whole point of Jesus is about helping those in suffering. Christians do the exact opposite..

[@hannahwillis9838]

@@sassafras988not even quite. They get members confessing this all the time, even p3dophiles come forth. They think that they are equipped with the skills to give “therapy.” They are not, not in the slightest. Church advice is great, no doubt about it. But we should never brush off professional and objective counseling. This is #1

[@inspirison]

Let's pray for this man

[@infowarzz]

Please pray for me

[@mskimrn9636]

Absolutely- God bless this young man

[@mariahconklin4150]

That's not gonna do anything. I keep telling people this it does nothing. Everytime I get involved in church I get bipolar.

[@tomrearick5991]

​@@mariahconklin4150 after religion tried Jesus

[@tomrearick5991]

I haven't gone to church for yearsI have a personal relationship with Christ that is not tainted buy false people in the church

[@machellep1]

Reading thru the comments is heart breaking. There are so many of us out there suffering the same trauma .

[@jamesphelps9573]

Very good call. John you’re a saint helping people the way you do.

[@Simon-oy7kf]

you're*

[@jamesphelps9573]

@@Simon-oy7kf thank you so much for correcting me!

[@lynnebucher6537]

Delony is 100% correct about how finally facing the abuse brings out an explosion of emotions. I'm now angry about abuse that happened decades ago. Losing my mother was my trigger. Ken, do this now, don't wait until you're in your 60s like I have.

[@whalesnamedshark]

This guy has a lot of grace in his heart

[@LarennPBel]

Yes he seems to

[@veggiesarefruits]

Absolutely horrific. It terrifies me how often this happens.

[@marciloni12]

It's most common form but least talked about, I guess because he's a sibling and they (family) failed him too, at some point! 🤔

[@unapologeticallyauthentic]

This happened to my friend. Shes led the life of addiction. Recently she told the parents and now theyre not talking to her...pathetic

[@dr.bradshaw]

I’m so sorry to hear this. I hope your friend can heal from this tragedy and move forward in a healthy way.

[@raemcconill5641]

These are nt her parents she has to find her real ones ..they are looking for her too ok ..

[@unapologeticallyauthentic]

@@raemcconill5641 ok

[@iwrotehaikuz]

this comment broke my fucking heart. Jesus fucking christ. my god.

[@YouSoCute2000]

Dude my heart goes out to you!!!!!! We are here for you okay. Do not let this hold you back, you were a victim and it is not your fault. I am praying for you Ken, and for your family as well. Cry it out, let it out. Do not allow for this to consume you. Sending you love and healing Ken.

[@shelleygreyrealtor]

He is not a victim. He is a survivor. And you're right, it is not his fault.

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

I get this. I'm sorry you suffered/suffer. Dad did this to me, a female, for decades. It is disgusting that he won't take any responsibilty, It's not your fault, either. These assholes expect to be let off the hook. I warn others about Dad, he sexually abused me for decades, blaming, threatening me not to tell. I told others to protect them from him! I hope I broke the cycle of abuse by not being silent. I didn'have kids, so he can't hurt the girls(boys aren't immune to predators) too!

[@Deborah-so8mv]

Get therapy.

[@Deborah-so8mv]

Pray, but do something that will heal you and hold him responsible. (Thoughts and prayers my sweet fanny). He is getting away with murder.

[@shellyoss8754]

I teared up when you said that those who suffer abuse often make sure everybody around them is alright, but often not their own selves. I resonate with that so much. To the individual who shared their story, ❤❤❤❤

[@vikkigaines9836]

Ken you are an amazing person for acknowleding this level of trauma. You are going to empower other people to have the courage to speak up and then understand how to get the help they need. I hope you take the time to love yourself and continue with this monumental progress. ❤

[@davidl0522]

My dad was physically, emotionally and mentally abusive and I can’t even begin to tell you how much it impacts how you see and feel about yourself. It stays with you forever.

[@daleneboon]

This caller is so brave! Well done!

[@kimdawcatgirl]

Im female and my brother did stuff to me at 12 to 14 years old, and he is 3 years older than me. We are not biological siblings but adopted into the same home as babies. I was going to a marriage counselor with my now ex, and when the counselor and i had sessions alone, this came out. After my divorce , sister in law announced my brother had sexually abused my SIL's niece who was 14 and they were getting divorced. My counselor thought i should confront my brother, so this was the perfect time for me to do it. I told my SIL and dad first, then confronted my brother. He admitted that he did and repented. Then threatened to off himself and went to a psych hospital for a couple weeks. I forgave him but have nothing to do with him. Both our parents are dead, and i have no need to have a relationship with him, especially since im sure he's still a pedo. My brother had been abused by a teacher in middle school and so were other boys, and this occured not long after. Kens brother most likely was introduced to abuse and followed the wrong path. I thank God in heaven He kept me from that! But i was sexually promiscuous from college until the Lord stopped me! Praise to Jesus for saving me from myself and this thorn in my flesh.

[@agadonk]

Sorry that happened and glad you go to counseling. Since your brother confessed, is he in jail?

[@Eyeris625]

I wonder who molested his older brother? I hope this young man doesn't allow this torment to hold him back from anything. His older brother will never apologize.

[@judysears6417]

probably his father.....he said he doesn't have a good relationship with his dad

[@missydonald6381]

@@judysears6417 Could have been anyone.

[@judysears6417]

@@missydonald6381 what are you talking about? your comment makes no sense

[@missydonald6381]

@@judysears6417 I’m saying we don’t know for sure it was his dad… anyone could have done it teachers, other relatives, family friends.

[@altenberg-greifenstein]

I know too many of those people and they did not get molested. Just like the victims do not automatically turn into molesters. That idea is simply wrong. I think it is the exemption to the supposed rule that a victim turns into a molester.

[@doorschick89]

So sad. My brother was the only person I could trust, to not abuse me.

[@clarissaubben7884]

I’m so proud of you Ken! I pray you are healed from this nightmare!

[@amywalton8311]

This goes on more than most families want to reveal. It happened to my husband with his older brother and it took him years and years of therapy to get over. He also struggled with similar addictions to mask it but now he has freed himself of all the baggage. He’s happy in his life. This is very prevalent so if it’s happened to you, reach out for help. There is so much good help out there. My husband was self destructive for so long and caused a lot of pain to those who truly loved him. This can be overcome.

[@vme6892]

It happened to me too. I pray for this young man’s continued healing.

[@debfryer2437]

It took me over 30 years to tell my story. I went into shock immediately and then into therapy. Bringing dark things into the open brings more light to this world. There has been abuse in my family for generations and relationships have mostly been miserable, tense and volatile. Emotional intimacy is very important in relationships but I’ve never felt really close to anyone. My question is who abused the older brother?

[@dogsenseforu301]

🙏 for you.

[@YouSoCute2000]

Prayers for you sister 😢😢😢

[@alycewich4472]

@Deb Fryer - I'm so sorry you had to go through this.

[@sarahv.o7031]

So sorry you had to go through this. Praying for your healing. I’m thinking another family member of even their dad may have abused the older brother. So sad all around

[@TEM14411]

❤❤❤❤❤

[@GoodVibesHD]

Sad call. What a champ for sharing his past.

[@binkytube]

This guy deserves much better than this awful "dr.".

[@lauraborabeee]

He seems like such a sweet guy I am so sorry he went through this 😢

[@Tiffany_titus213]

His brother was abused. I would love for him to go to his brother and find out what happened because I guarantee his brother has major burdens he is carrying. I hope they both heal

[@mariee.5912]

Yes!! That was my first thought. His brother might have been abused too.

[@heybhabe]

He’ll most likely retaliate

[@YesYesYesJeff]

I agree but it depends on the age the abuse happened. If the abuser was a young teen, it seems very forgivable as they likely didn't understand their actions, but if the abuser was 25, they clearly should've known what they were doing.

[@PartScavenger]

Thanks for sharing caller! You're a good guy

[@commonsense126]

All i wanted was sincere apologies from my parents and my brother. None of them could admit that there was any reason to apologize.

[@Koshrocreations]

Same with my sister. I'm giving you all of my hopes to get a better life without them. ❤

[@Homeschoolingu-c8j]

Shameful. So isolating to you who was abused. Love and healing your way ❤️‍🩹

[@Lemur2008]

I am so sorry you endured this. Know others share in this. You are not alone 🙏🏻

[@deniseeugene1852]

This young man remembers the abuse and the fact that his body responded to the abuse. And that it felt good. Despite knowing that it was wrong . The inner conflict of these children . It stays with them.

[@src3360]

Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself ❤ I was sadistically sexually abused by my grandfather until the age of 10 when he was killed in a car crash. I blamed myself for all of it. I even missed it when he died bcuz it happened so often. That caused so much shame and disgust. After years of therapy I was able to forgive him and forgive myself, the little boy who thought It was my fault. I hope he really does get therapy, its life changing. Its such a burden to release ❤🙏🏼

[@bethkelsey1]

Oh my! So true that we spend our lives making sure everyone else is okay/safe! I always thought I was like that only because I spent my childhood protecting my mother, being vigilant around her safety. Considering she was also horribly abusive, I don’t know why. Interesting point!

[@DouglasHabian-tq5ck]

Listening to this episode makes me want to open up about all the messed up stuff my older brother did to me.

[@texasgoddess323]

Please open up to a therapist.☀️

[@aprilhumen1229]

Never too late to heal. ❤

[@atrombley8676]

Glad you got this off your chest Ken. Praying you can heal.

[@marielamccartney7319]

Ken My heart goes out you! I pray you can overcome this trauma and find mental and emotional peace. You deserve it. I’m so sorry everything was not handle with a proper action from your parents. The world is broken parents are supposed to love and, protect not just ignore and pretend nothing is going on.

[@MLCDelux]

Of all things to stumble onto first thing Monday morning, this is my same situation, same age difference , my mom likely knew, I tried to tell my sister once and she shut me down, wouldn't hear it, literally talked over me so she wouldn't have to hear it. Makes me feel a little better knowing someone else has this huge burden to carry every single day, also Dr John gave great response to this caller, nicely done, very helpful. I hope Ken is doing well today.

[@mariahconklin4150]

I listen to Danial Mackler for some hope...hes on youtube and I have his book Breaking Free From the Family. It's a triggering book though. His parents were neglectful. He cut off his family long ago and won't be going back.

[@martindowling1401]

So sorry. Brothers should honor and protect! That's brotherly love!

[@jordansprinkles]

My step-grandfather growing up and someone I was in Young Marines with in middle school doing some VERY inappropriate things to me are why I blocked those years out of my mind and my mental health issues today.

[@jetsjetsjets1044]

I'm so sorry 😔❤ Yahuah barak atah

[@angelbofarullviladas7541]

this has happened to many of us,,,talk about it to a therapyist,if you are bisexual accept it

[@sparklesp9304]

​@@angelbofarullviladas7541You don't need to accept anything. Going to therapy means processing it

[@SophieTalksTooMuch]

I hope you know you are not at fault for what happened and you did not deserve any of that. I’m so sorry, my fiancé was abused for years by a family member and then other boys too. I know it can be very hard to have a normal healthy sex life after sexual abuse, because it happened to me too, but I want to assure you you can and will find someone who understands and loves you completely, and if you want it, healthy satisfaction through intimacy with a partner who is not abusive, you can heal, me and my fiancé are healing together, but you don’t have to go through this alone either, there are a lot of support groups and people who understand and want to support you and see you succeed, don’t stop fighting for yourself, you deserve to be happy

[@addiskassa5165]

You are such a remarkable human being Dr. Delony.. you are so compassionate toward your callers..May Almighty God continue bless you and your family! God has a reason but you there! 🙏🙏🙏

[@Foxygrandpa2131]

This stuff terrifies me to think that someone I love could have been abused and never come forward.

[@indigogirl5172]

Happens all the time. But no one talks about it. 1 in 4 women and 1in 6 men will be sexually assaulted/molested in their life time. Majority of these cases are committed by someone the victim knows. With such high percentages of abused, there is also a high percentage of abusers who live among us.

[@alycewich4472]

@@indigogirl5172 And they continue to abuse until caught or until they die.

[@strappedtvctw.804]

My abuser die in a car crash 10 years later

[@grisgonzalez6856]

It's heartbreaking.

[@sababajwa93]

@@strappedtvctw.804 Good

[@normammorales4909]

KEN!!! I suffered as well my cousin to me. so proud of you!! I believe you ... i BELIEVE YOU ... I BELIEVE Y O U

[@jeanniejewel2272]

John Colony you are a special person. Thank you caller for opening up to John. 🙏

[@a4wheelergirl4u]

I feel this to my core..., thankfully I eventually spoke up, and I’m in counseling now, but whew... insane how the acts of 7 years can mess up a kid for so long. The best part though, is forgiveness, healing, and such that has helped me. Dr. D is spot on though.

[@judysears6417]

It didn't help me to talk to my offending brother because he just denied it....... but it did help in the fact that I could address him!! I talked to my whole family about it my sister was very sympathetic..... my other brother I don't think he knew what to do with it and he actually was a roommate with my offending brother so he probably knew what was going on who knows....... and my mom and dad were weird about it😣 I severed my relationship with my mom and dad because they didn't want to join me on my healing path and then just left it in God's hands if we ever reconciled..... what I found sad was that they went my mom and dad went to my offending brother but they never once came to me and talked to me about how was I doing how was I feeling we're so sorry this happened none of that ever came out of their mouth but they could go to my offending brother and spend all kinds of time with him it was disgusting to me!! but that was not the most important issue on my agenda it was for me to find Healing so that's what I did xo 40 years I held this all inside 40 years my offending brother pretended like nothing ever happened 40 years until it just came blurting out of my mouth I thank God that it did!! I had to forgive in order to move on in my relationship with my husband my children and with God.... God has worked so much out in my life I am forever indebted to my King xoxoxo

[@alycewich4472]

@Judy Sears - I'm so sorry you had to go through ALL of this. It's difficult to lose your family of origin when they don't acknowledge your pain.

[@deannatroy8113]

Fantastic job! Your very brave. Your parents are crazy btw. You may wish to consider seeing a gynecologist and having them confirm scarring? Or seeing detectives so they can lock him in jail (a denial may mean he is continuing abuse, to perhaps his children?) Either way I think your amazing being able to make a stand for yourself against such opposition.

[@Lpstpaul]

If it’s mentionable, it’s manageable. Shame thrives in darkness.

[@mrfacespace]

First time I came across one of your videos. I think I found the right one. I recently shared something with a councillor, and when I see him again in a couple of weeks I’m going to ask him if he thinks I was molested, based on what I told him. For what it’s worth, I broke out in tears more than once while watching this video. I’m glad the caller reached out to you, and shared his experience and pain with all of us

[@grahamscott1547]

I find this Doctor to be very good indeed. Non judgmental and sensitive and a whole lot more and who gives real good advice.what a guy!!👌🏼🙏🏻

[@Viiola24]

You’re a brave man to admit all this. Hope you can heal, one day.

[@JubJub9600]

I'm so sorry this happened to you. Such a heartfelt response from John. I couldn't listen to all of this... I have to turn it off it's breaking my heart because I have 2 boys. They're still babies now but this is hard to think about something like this happening to them, or one of them doing something like this. That poor mom. Those poor boys.

[@thatswhatshesaid6326]

Being abused as a child changes the person you could’ve been. That doesn’t mean you can’t be a great person, but it does mean we have to learn to trust, heal parts of ourselves that were damaged, learn self worth and possibly forgiveness.

[@jamesgraham2509]

Wow! Talk about a “me too” moment. When I found the courage to share my story of molestation, by my brother, to my mom , I was relieved tremendously that she believed me! Years later with a counselor who used EMDR modality was game changer. So glad I stumbled on the episode today.

[@hansonallie]

Jeez - when Ken said he did not WHY he was sharing a room w/ the 2nd oldest brother, perhaps the 2nd oldest was initially sharing a room w/ the the eldest & a similar situation was occurring in there? I wish him the best on his healing journey & much admiration for taking this first step!!

[@drowningnotwaving]

It does leach into every aspect of your character, your experiences, your decisions etc. Every aspect of your life is affected by this trauma. It will never go away but you can learn to live with it.

[@dogsenseforu301]

Love to the man and 🙏 for his inner boy. Thanks 2 the Doc.

[@dodi1kanobe]

God bless him. This was so difficult to listen to . I wish him healing , love and happiness and hope he finds peace.❤🙏

[@lynnebucher6537]

My mom should have thrown my stepfather out, but instead she accepted his denial and made excuses for him. The message I got was that I was unprotected and if he came after me again, he could do whatever he wanted and I was on my own. It was horrible living under the same roof and worried about him coming into my bedroom again.

[@justsomerandomgirl]

Same here

[@mariahconklin4150]

That's awful Lynne.

[@nichill7474]

Excellent conversation. And I agree with Ken that telling someone that you can trust with dark secrets makes a difference. It’s liberating. I know this from personal experience too. I’m glad Dr. John pointed out that 1. Ken is now in control of what happens from here, and 2, holding sins of a child of 11, 12, 13, even though he was the perpetrator, needs to be thought out before acting. Therapy is great.

[@MissWinters1980]

I'm 42 this happened when I was 11 years old I still haven't confronted my brother

[@edwardnashen5960]

John has a lot of kindness, intelligence, and wisdom.

[@markevans5648]

Good advice from the doctor. “You are in control of the narrative. You, need to care for you now”.

[@virginiabarrios1214]

😢... poor guy. GOD BLESS HIM... HE WILL GET THRU THIS!!

[@roosplans]

It's important to let people know who the perpetrators are!! Keep all the children safe!

[@ggirlii88]

Good for you, Ken. He’s extremely in touch with how he feels and self-aware in the way he speaks about why he called and the actions he’s thought about taking. What people don’t understand is how mortifying it is to admit this even though it’s not your fault. If you paid attention, he didn’t say exactly what happened and I understand because it’s so disgustingly embarrassing to divulge details out loud. I feel for him because as a man (child) he was molested by another man (older boy who knew better) and that messes with your psyche I’m sure. He definitely needs to work on himself before dating if he’s taking it out on other people though.

[@thegiftofgabby5581]

I’m so glad this show exists. It’s so helpful.

[@louip5368]

Where I grew up we used to play hide and seek. A lot of these went on between close family members and neighborhood kids and young adults. It gets passed down and often times the predator has himself been a victim of the same act he is committing.

[@johannac3727]

Ken I want you to know that You are loved where ever you are. I love you and you are a beautiful human being ❤️

[@alberthaug-t4p]

Very brave man. Thank you for having this discussion,.my trauma align so similar. I'm to the point of open enough to start therapy, i was brave enough to share my experience this week with my 44 year old daughter that is evolved in social work. With you sharing your fillings and struggles, i can relate to what seem that we end up being over sensitive, we fill to much we sense other peoples problems but we just can't seem to fix our understand ours. First time listing to this broadcast, thank you.

[@alberthaug-t4p]

Follow up to my post. Finished 2 months of weekly therapy and follow up monthly now. Flash backs have almost completely stopped. I have understandings of my actions in life for someone that has complex ptsd. Yes the abusers changed my life and robbed me of normal what ever that could of been. Even though when abusers are confronted the normal answer has been they don't remember . They have to live with there own memory and I now have dealt with mine that hade been repressed. I keep it hid from everyone but it didn't take long for after getting married my wife figured out I was sexually abused by my reactions to intimacy. Other than my wife I kept the secret for 45 more years till flashbacks started I'm now 67 years old and widowed .