AN AMERICAN MARRIAGE - Book Discussion! - THE TEA

[@HoneyPie1978]

Troy Johnson definetely made good points. Would you want a man/ woman at home, while your spouse is not home? Honestly i have never been married before, but as a woman who has lived with a man. That is not respectful to me, in a " platonic" relationship she can wait until i come home. Also i have male friends " platonic " of course. I would not mind introducing them to my partner, likewise with my partner in regards to female "platonic " friends. I had better be introduced to all of them! Another point id like to add, where Dina was mentioning in reference to male friends being married. Are we still moving forward with a friendship? Based upon my own real life experience, i would say yes. Listed below are my " careful " reasons: 1) I currently have a male friend whom I've known for year's. I was never attracted to him, he met someone. I got to know her, when i joked around with him- I joked with her, eye contact was made with her. I made it my business to not let her feel any vibe of jealousy 2) When i called him, it was not frequent. Whether he is married or not the fact that he has a mate,indicates there is a line you do not want to cross. It is called " Respect " 3) I will never hang out alone unless we are making it a double date/couples brunch or dinner. Call me old fashion, but i "do unto other's as i would want done to me"!😶😏😉

[@NigeriaLockley]

I think another stressor that made it difficult for Roy and Celestial was Celestial’s relationship or lack thereof with Roy’s mother. That also makes it difficult for you to ground yourself in a marriage.

[@missyla2u]

Nigeria Lockley absolutely

[@missyla2u]

I enjoyed the letter format of the audiobook you could really feel the emotion back and forth

[@missyla2u]

Thank you Mr Johnson for your vision. Janelle you were on point with this one we can talk books anytime. What does for better or for worse look like? Is it different for all of us. Images exactly Mr Johnson. Male and females can be platonic friends if both respect the boundaries, BUT Andre and Celestial relationship was deeper than “just friends”

[@user-ik1bk3go1e]

What a great program and guest! Troy Johnson was a magnificent guest! His comments were insightful and informative. Troy Johnson thanks for speaking based on informed life/personal experience!

[@NigeriaLockley]

Lorraine C. Thanks for tuning in Lorraine! Yes, Troy was great and I believe he’ll be joining us again in the future. Stay tuned!

[@shannanharper7683]

I do agree with several points stated. 1)You have to work in a marriage and go into marriage with a purpose 2)There's got to be boundaries that are right for you

[@HoneyPie1978]

Shannan Harper absolutely, as i stated. I have never been married before. However you stated "boundaries that are right for you", that is well informed. People have their different perception on thing's. For instance my coworker once told me her son's father can come over when her husband is not home. Because they have that respect/ trust, they would also go out to eat(feelings from the past are no longer there from her anymore). But they are still friends " so it is obviouse they love each other". But are no longer in love, and her husband is fine with that. So yes there are many people who practice what they are comfortable with doing. Me personally i aint going out with my ex if i was married!lol

[@shannanharper7683]

Yea, that wouldn't work for me either, but whatever floats their boat

[@NigeriaLockley]

I agree with you ladies are some boundaries that need to be clear cut especially when things look at little suspect.

[@mirandaquainoo4657]

So glad I found this channel. I am hooked. Rich content!

[@GuccVarucc]

Celestial an Andre had previous physical relations at least once, according to Andre’s voice. They never told Roy that this line was already crossed. He was robbed of an opportunity to choose whether he could trust them as friends in the first place.

[@missyla2u]

The touchiest part of the book for me was trying to decide who was right? Celestial or Roy or were they both wrong? I still don’t know 😨

[@edglebennett6312]

toward the end it got on my nerves. I got tired of Roy, but Oprah mad such a fuss over the book I read it and push myself to read it.

[@JoinTheTea]

Make sure to also watch Tayari talk about writing the book in her Get2Know video! Please Subscribe to the channel and keep the conversation going and growing!

[@missyla2u]

I just got married 12/2/17 and I do think I would wait for as long as I can and when I couldn’t anymore I would let my partner know but I wouldn’t do abandonment

[@NigeriaLockley]

First of all congratulations Laverne, and in this case I think the fact that he was innocent made it more difficult for me to feel sorry for inability to wait for him.

[@missyla2u]

He kept driving that point home which made me feel less sorry for him. I know things happen and in his case absolutely but should everybody else' world stop because of it? But again I don't think Celestial nor Andre handled it right AT ALL. Nobody did right by the other in this case in my opinion....

[@missyla2u]

Nigeria YES YES YES it was always there!!!! No BOUNDARIES. Dena I don’t think it has anything to do with can it work as friends if some type of intimacy is laying dormant behind the relationship. Friends are out the window they are emotional buddies. Roy didn’t have a chance with their history

[@NigeriaLockley]

Exactly Laverne, Roy didn't have a chance. Andre was just waiting for one thing to become unhinged in their marriage, so he could swoop down.

[@jaylahill571]

Enjoyed it - glad you brought Troy in! Short of what Troy?! I think you need to back that off a bit! If needs are not being met - then Harry should not be meeting Sally - no!

[@DAngeloReid]

I enjoy this channel. Subscribed

[@missyla2u]

Absolutely Janelle couple counseling is a must just like an HIV test

[@missyla2u]

Boundaries Janelle was Andre knowing what he knew and pressed on anyway, disrespectful. Also whether Roy was innocent or not in committing the crime it made no difference in the way he thought it did.

[@ahmadfrw1]

If you ask me, it is really your compatibility with each other that determines your marriage. You do not have to be in an abusive relationship to know that your marriage is not working. It could stem from "you're just married because of the children," which could the the WRONG REASON to stay married (the father can be a father to his child without the wife and the mother can be a mother to her child without the husband). It is not so much the platonic relationship that is the issue, THE REAL RED FLAG could be the "I HAVE MORALS AND THERE'S NO SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE." Why am I saying this? Think about it. It is NATURAL to WANT SEX, and if you are HIGHLY RELIGIOUS and of HIGH MORALS, you WANT LEGITIMATE SEX INSIDE OF MARRIAGE. You can be the one caught going from one marriage to another marriage to another, and lets say all marriages are monogamous, which shows that other than polygamy in this situation, those marriages are failing. Sometimes having that mentality should also present the warning signs as well. You have those people who cannot take rejection. You have those people who are insane and will go out of their way to harm you if you leave them off. You have those people who are POWER HUNGRY and love to be the DOMINANT FACTOR of the RELATIONSHIP. Then, on the POLYGAMY side, you have those that rape the spouse (www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2178201/Uroko-Onoja-death-Husband-raped-death-5-wives-paying-attention-sixth.html) if sex is denied them (you know people have mood swings and sometimes your sex drive is not as high). Also, since the topic is AN AMERICAN MARRIAGE, even though I used a marriage from abroad (a marriage in Africa) as to prove my point (since we are all living on Planet Earth), it is still something to point out that some marriages do nothing but exploit the weaknesses of people. Yes, I must be aware of those husbands in America who have wives in other lands, or those women in America whose husband resides in other lands (mainly because the husband would rather the wife live in America where they have FREE CHOICE over his land where she does not have the same freedoms). We can go on and WRITE A BOOK consisting of 20 VOLUMES on the issue (the topic), but you do see my point.

[@BuckyBrown-lt4ry]

Maybe one day have a discussion centering on these interesting books - www.amazon.com/author/rmyers

[@shannanharper7683]

Janelle won twice, so she's throwing all kinds of shade, Lol

[@katewood3774]

What do you mean Shannan?

[@HoneyPie1978]

Kate Wood Lol, she means Janelle has a right to be a bit "sassy ". Because she's won the book selection two times!🙄☺

[@NigeriaLockley]

For real.

[@reijay4396]

Marriage is and was instituted and created by The GOD of the Bible. Take Him out your marriage, it's a ticking time bomb. Ladies stop thinking you don't need to change. Men stop thinking you don't need to change. It's a compromising situation.