How To Handle Feeling Left Out

[@Roma-mt9mj]

I don't feel left out, im literally being left out

[@user-xs7ev8jd7y]

I'm so sorry, that's super tough 💔

[@sabrinasususa6957]

Same

[@ek8213]

Same here

[@benitaanand6047]

I completely get you, dude. The worst part is if we ever bring it up we’re called “delusional”.

[@MissPinker101]

Me too

[@bcg3166]

“ I Give the gift of my absence to them who do not appreciate my presence.”

[@GrammyAmanda]

I actually started getting teary-eyed hearing about you being invited last minute, as if it had happened to me. Feeling left out is a huge one for me. Thank you for this video. 💓

[@juliakristinamah]

Really glad it connected.

[@NFSMAN50]

I've experienced this all my life, as you get older, you learn to not care as much. Happy Thanksgiving Julia, much love friend. Very thankful for you!!!

[@juliakristinamah]

Isn't that a great part of getting older? You just start to care less about things that don't matter as much.

[@NFSMAN50]

@@juliakristinamah it does feel great!!

[@kimwarner1681]

@Hulumoon don’t initiate anymore. Let them reach out to you & if they don’t, you’ll see how many “dead plants” you were watering. It’s not you, perhaps they’re jealous of you, maybe you have really good hearted qualities that can’t be faked. You’d be surprised at how mean girl some women can be, even though they’re much too old to act like 13 year olds. Do your own thing, don’t worry about them. Your rejection is God’s protection, maybe they aren’t the great people u thought they were?

[@kimwarner1681]

@Hulumoon you’re welcome!

[@margaritashamrakov]

Me too. @Nfsman

[@soki3580]

A woman who I thought was a friend called me. We talked a lot, then she talked about her birthday party, which was to take place the next day. She continued to tell in a good mood, also about all the guests who were supposed to come. I wasn't invited, I noticed that quickly. Suddenly she stopped talking and was silent. "You can come too if you want," she said. I could tell that she was embarrassed. I didn't have a present, and I didn't want to embarrass her for inviting me for the wrong reasons. So I refused and told her I had to work and I couldn't come. Which was also true. When I wrote her an email a year later and told her about my book deal with a publisher, she called me 10 minutes later! At some point she told about her son, who would also write. She talked more about it and at some point I had to tell her that I was not in a position to get her son a book deal. But I could edit his texts completely free of charge and without obligation. I have never heard from her since. That hurts! I feel like I have been thrown away.

[@happygoluckystar8069]

Please … just don’t take it personally. Your “friend” is simply a narcistic, people exploiting person. You do not need such people in your circle. Trust me, you are better off without her waisting your time and attention. 🌸

[@moulaye7534]

Lol. I've encountered my neighbor at a supermarket. We're just "hello" neighbors. Anyway, she came to me with a big smile. Asking how I was etc... In a super friendly way. Like I've never seen. Then she asked if I had a car to take home the groceries. To which I've replied no. As soon as I've said that, she left so fast that I was glad I didn't have my car that day.

[@Whatworksthisworks]

That is really crappie… I think we all go through this type of thing and have to develop some perspective! Most of the time when I am not invited to something, when I really think about it, I won’t want to go anyway.

[@dellisgibbs5823]

@@happygoluckystar8069 that’s exactly what came to my mind also, narcissistic ( I know because of dynamics in my family). So spot on

[@margaret4696]

Some people lean towards being takers, some lean towards being givers. Overly simplified to say it this way. But it helped me.

[@travisrey5035]

So whoever is being left out, should stop and think “am I a bad companionship ?” , YES I AM, NOW I FEEL GREAT! 🙄, most of the time ppl get left out is because those leaving you out don’t really care about you, and if it hurts you, most of the time is because you indeed care about them.

[@garymulsp]

It's a fact that there are individuals whom are routinely marginalised and excluded, not because of their negative qualities but because most people are unaware that they discriminate against certain types of people.

[@TheFeliciakelley]

I just do not believe people are unaware.

[@kurisuchiinu1206]

@@TheFeliciakelley Exactly. They are aware of what they're doing. They just choose not to care.

[@juliakristinamah]

Absolutely. Some are aware, some are not - but there are definitely people who get left out because of discrimination.

[@TheFeliciakelley]

@@juliakristinamah I do believe they are not aware.. As someone that gets discriminated against a lot, people are very much aware of what they’re doing. So that’s bull crap. Some therapist practice this a lot.. Pretending to be unaware of their own bullshit . I really do not care for humans.. So disingenuous !!!

[@localreviewer5939]

When I tell these people how I feel left out, that still ignore me and no reply and that makes me even feel more inferior

[@PeterLarsenJr]

Very timely for Thanksgiving. Many people feel left out when they get together with their family or relatives. Because they are so different from their family or relatives. Maybe they don’t participate in the negative conversation of their family and relatives. And so they feel left out.

[@kristymarie6065]

True

[@marymaher4036]

Peter Larsen, you have described this subject very well! Thank you so much for your thoughts and reflections;very true insight. 😃

[@marymaher4036]

Some subjects are sad, but empathy is truly a gift and blessing whenever we can help another person reflect and "be there",to be hopeful, not hurtful.😇🌹🙏Be authentic

[@juliakristinamah]

absolutely. You can be left out because you're not willing to participate in things that are not in alignment with your beliefs or values.

[@marymaher4036]

@@juliakristinamah ,Thank you so much, Julia! 😍💕💖There have been times when I don't feel comfortable with certain things that people say and or "do". I'm not going to go along with something",if I don't approve and feel that it's right"

[@hanisiryani43]

Thank you Julia for covering this topic. Super helpful! Being left out for quite frequently, among friends and coworkers, cause me to scrutinize myself, making me a people pleaser and somehow loose my true self. Now growing older i slowly understand that people that left me out maybe has their own reasons that has nothing to do with me or sometimes we simply are not close enough and appreciate different things in life. I can't be a favorite person for everyone. That's fine with me.

[@user-hp6uk5ht8j]

The best action in my opinion is to leave them, if they don't want you don't force it there is always other ones

[@hp2546]

Yes! This will prove you do not have low self-esteem. A lot of people who attempts to force it makes excuses such as they did nothing wrong when in reality, they tried to do favors and expects to charge them with hanging out. By being willing to leave, it shows you are not giving in to entitlement.

[@harimamomin5517]

Thats not always the best idea. I think sometimes it’s best to talk about how u feel to the other person because sometimes that person might not mean it intentionally

[@suhani7]

What if they do it intentionally and there is no other person for you, you're alone 🙂

[@hp2546]

@@harimamomin5517 Got to be careful because once you attempt to talk this one out after being rejected, they can take that as entitlement. If they don't take you, it is best to leave them be. Don't try to fix them.

[@JoannaCubana]

Good information and skills on how to navigate through these difficult feelings. Yes it hurts. And we do have to turn the mirror back to ourselves and ask these hard questions. Thank you ❤

[@nikkimckay860]

Hello everyone I'm a follower of this channel and I watch these videos they are all important and good advice I'm not new I just don't comment very much I get anxious writing comments this video topic is very helpful throughout my life iv felt left out of Meany different things some because of my anxiety and others because I wasn't comfortable or into alout of things the people in my life was into eather way being left out isn't nice no matter what if it's because it's your choice or because of your mental health take care people x

[@cynthiahagen3658]

I have a daughter in law who has shunned me for 24 years and my son pretty much just goes along with it to keep peace. It cuts deep!

[@genxx2724]

“A son is a son ‘til he takes him a wife; but a daughter’s a daughter for all of her life.”

[@happy2bgr8]

This has been a life long struggle for me. Thanks so much for putting it into perspective. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m unintentionally bringing the group vibe down whenever I hang out with my friends or if I’m joining the group late and everyone is just better friends with each other. (Which is often the case) or if I’m just socially cursed lol. Anyways it’s weirdly comforting to know that I’m not the only one who experiences this.

[@dee0731]

Perfect timing me to hear this I thought I only experienced this feeling of hurt by being left out and making up stories of why I was left out.

[@liztetley3609]

I’m often the odd one out. The only one single. The only one kidless. The youngest in the group. An extra wheel. I’m struggling to find a place where I fit.

[@juliesmith6168]

A lot of women are just plain jealous! An absolute reason for leaving someone out☹️

[@beatricelockyer3533]

Feeling left out is definitely in the top 3 WORST FEELINGS ever and when u see some1 talking to your best friend it makes u feel horrible

[@aaronmohammed9250]

Just yesterday I was thinking about this as the holidays are coming up and my now ex gf at the time chose to spend time with her friends separately from me as we were going through a bit of a rough patch at that time. And over the past year I've learnt that I am not responsible for how they feel based on their own past personal experiences. And it's okay to set boundaries as to when you need space

[@alifakhrzadeh1544]

Well I always thought being alone was terrible but I realized being in the presence of people I can’t stand is worse

[@hp2546]

As you get older, you understand it better to a point where you know how to detach. Once you know how to take care of yourself, you don't need them. If they want to convince you, they need to be the one earning your respect. Other people can make up stories about you being shy all they want because deep down, they don't want to admit their wrongdoings of mistreating you. In reality, those type of people do not know how to impress. They would attempt to change the story where you are the villain. If they keep doing that, that is why you are the type of person that prefers solitude life. Other people who mistreated you would have a hard time admitting flaws. Overall, the only reason why they want you around is to be in relationship for control.

[@yashdeorah2295]

I don't know who it may help but I am suffering through the same things since 20 f****ng years, I've always been everyone's last choice in everything throughout my life. I've tried to figure out stuff that made this happen, tried to analyse myself, tried all the ways that were in my hands(do try things which are in your hands) But if you have tried everything from your side and still to no avail, just keep this in mind, just remember that we alll don't always get everything we want, there are some things which we will have to live with it the way they are, YOU WILL NEED TO ACCEPT THAT AND MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE.... remember me ITSSSS NOTT YOUR FAULTT.... IT'S JUST NOT IN YOUR FATEE Just acknowledge the things you have Be confident about yourself coz again it's not your fault.... If it is in your fate you'll definitely get it, else you won't regardless your exteme efforts But yes I promise you everything will find it's way in the end, believe me

[@Dina-ou1ft]

This just happened to me recently that I felt left out when my friends didnt invite me to go on a holiday out of town (ofc it wasn't impulsive). But no matter I look into it and reflect on myself, I cant find any reason why I didnt get invited and cant stop thinking I just dont matter much to them. Is that okay to think that way?

[@letticebuere2096]

Hello, we have the same situation. My friends have not been inviting me when they meet up for 2x already this past months. Actually, I'm thinking of confronting them about it. This is the second time that I have felt left out by them, the first one was 2 years ago. I'm contemplating whether to continue my relationship with them.

[@hp2546]

@@letticebuere2096 Confronting them will give them a more reason to get rid of you. What if you were to get your job interview? You wouldn't want to ask them why they didn't hire you. Same as with them. Part of making friends is supposed to give a good impression. It is like an elevator pitch. If you cannot impress them, you don't earn your spot with them. They could end up giving answers you don't want to hear. It is possible that they did not want you but just didn't know how to tell you. That is why you are excluded. Once you tell them, that is when they find flaws in you. They had history of not inviting you 2 years ago and then they don't give you an invitation for the past months. If you confront them, they would already report you as a stalker. Questioning them would show that you act too entitled and they will have a power to claim you stalked them. Trust me, I have done that in middle school in the 90s. Whenever you hang out with someone without their consent, they can have a power to claim you are a creepy stalker. To gain their respect, just disappear. Do not continue hanging out with them because once they sense that you cannot handle solitude life, you would be out.

[@hp2546]

During your reflecting time, you did not find out why. Here is the reason. You got to at least act like you are happy with solitude life. If you cannot get used to solitude life, you cannot make friends. You must not view them as friends because you have not gone through the process of making a good impression on them yet. Part of making a good impression is not to give an impression that you feel lonely in solitude. If they know how lonely you feel, you would be kicked out. They are the type of people who has not accept you; therefore, you got to leave them alone. If they view you as their friend, they would already reach out to you long time ago. If you call them friends now, you will be living a lie. You also cannot contact them nor hang out with them because they can report you as a creepy stalker. So if you aren't invited, just cut them out of your life.

[@devinobrien9743]

@@letticebuere2096 I’ve been going through a similar situation the past month and a half as well. My friends haven’t invited me to their past hangouts for unknown reasons. Although one of them was a fair and the reason was bc I probably would’ve said no bc I find fairs boring but still would’ve liked an invite to know I’m not left out and forgotten. But as for dinner, bar, and concert I was angry and sad cuz I felt forgotten and left out. I want to confront them about this but am scared to start an argument/fight, knowing a truth that would hurt my feelings even more, etc.

[@BryantBaudelaire]

@@letticebuere2096keep your dignity and send them packing. Nothing like a good slow ghosting and letting it fade away. I recently went through this and figured it wasn’t me it was them that needed to go. I would get invited on trips very last minute if at all and if o went I got ignored by my ex-friends and their new friends so luckily I always kept a plan b dealing with them. I feel relief just parting ways. No more passive aggressive narcissistic behaviors anymore from their side. If you can’t talk to them about your problems, they are NOT your friends!

[@AdamWhitehouse-g1x]

I'm going through it now with my management team colleagues... Who despite supposedly being there for mutual support are pushing me away and not contacting me . That's how it feels and it feels like bullying. This video really connects x

[@debounty2703]

Ive been with a certain group of people who used to love playing games with me. But I tend to mess up by saying something wrong, or start to be my usual energetic self and just completely be shut down. It's made me feel like I cant get a grip or be comfortable at all. But because of those mess ups, I noticed they started saying they need a break from me, or in discord servers, I now have been kicked because everyone is healing from it. If you came here to say Im just a little kid saying this, I am 20 and military. I take up streaming as a side gig just for some fun, and it just completely turned my life around now that most of the people I spoke to, just cannot really talk much to me. It stings more than my own physical wounds, and just dont know how I am supposed to handle it...

[@skybluestar2426]

My name is sky and you've really been helping me.

[@user-xs7ev8jd7y]

hi anyone struggling with friends leaving them out. I've been there too, so let me tell you: If you find out, then it's a blessing in disguise, imagine if you wouldn't have. you would still consider those people your friends who shouldn't be considered as that. take this as an opportunity to leave! your gut is always right, leave them out. not in the meaning of excluding them, but leave them out of your life. whoever excluded you wasn't a friend all this time. All I can tell you is that I was scared too, haven't had friend for a long while, but the times that came after this were the best, never forgotten them at all.

[@hp2546]

Your statement does make sense. If you know it is time to detach yourself from them, then it is time to get used to solitude life. I also learned that the hard way too. No friends for a long time. I will be ok with solitude life. Not having a friend for a long time is not the same as having an employment gap on resumes. In resumes, long employment gap can be a red flag but as for not having friends for a long time, there is no such thing as a gap. So of course, there is no reason to make friends base on deadlines. However long it takes, solitude life can be enjoyable. If someone comes along, then great. If nobody comes along, then solitude life still works. Even if rest of our lives is solitude life, it is still ok.

[@maviyesil649]

Well I'd always feel left out but now it's okay this video helped alot! But I'd like to ask something diffrrent. I'm introverted and I don't trust people I have maybe like two or three friends. But I'm not a person that vents out and telling emotions. My empathy is high and I'd like to help others and my friends but I'm not a talker. When I do feel like talking and even share something personal to my best friend I'm considered as a open person. And I felt bad like I'm not very open person but I trust you enough to share this. Best friend is going through a tough time and I'm always here to help or stand by to support you but I respect the choice not feel like talking but knowing eacother for a long time it hurts I understand this person, but the person doesn't understand me back. Like it's her character to not be open and I was like I'm same I understand you and my character is very different but it just annoys me a little like this friend doesn't know me at all and that person knows I'm introverted but yeah doesn't make any sense

[@DestinyHicks294]

As a black woman we feel this on a daily I’m looking to heal

[@camoutonithetiger8528]

I had a friend that worked with me,after high school, and he started lying to coworkers about me,he was mixing vernacular that was for him with our coworkers,And had been for sometime before I found out,I had to put 2 and 2 together because the energies changed with everyone ,I didn’t know why,and after a bunch of other stuff he had caused I was exhausted to deal with it.But I wasn’t upset with anyone but him,and never said nothing about anyone,I just didn’t understand why they reacted to me like that knowing he had been doing that,A form of gas lighting that was diabolical,But that was 29years ago bad I learned,just to stick to my morals and ethic and everything else is what it is,But I actually love solitude,and had no bad feelings at all,I’ve been in situations where there’s no option to be social,

[@refreshyourpage._.0]

You're right, I look back now at how I was, there were a lot of negative moments, and I knew I shouldn't be but I chose to be negative anyway. Maybe that's why I can't keep up with a person for a long time or something, when I'm the more relaxed character I often act like I don't care, but when I'm having a personal problem I can't figure it out Negative emotions, it seems that I am the person with double standards.

[@user-xs7ev8jd7y]

hi, 3 weeks passed since this comment, how are you feeling now?

[@refreshyourpage._.0]

@@user-xs7ev8jd7y thanks for asking, I'm in ups and downs, I guess it's part of being alive isn’t it

[@jameschase5127]

I don't worry about being left out anymore. I no longer feel bad if I'm not in everyone's "inner circle". That's not all it's cracked up to be anyway. I find church and community events where there are fun things going on and go to them. I've met new people that way. You have to make things happen yourself.

[@hp2546]

That is realistic. Because with church or community events, you sign up and you are in. As for the rules of getting invite from friends, you have to get invited which may not be your strong suit. Getting invites from groups or friends means you have to get a yes answer. No written paper for sign ups and no RSVP paperwork. As for organizations, once you deal with the rules of signing up, they give up the power to exclude you. To give you an example, I sign up to join fellowships which means there is no such thing as an exclusion. I can take advantage that signing up is not the same as inviting myself. The only way I get excluded is if I exclude myself. As for community events, I pay money to join that event. To give you an example, I join a painting class. It does cost me money and I would say small price to pay. So lets say if you take some classes at the community center, you do pay money for it and once you pay, you are signed up. For this example, as long as I am the paying customer, they cannot exclude me unless the class cancels. All these activities do not even require making friends. I am glad you are part of a club where getting accepted is easy. Just sign up and/or pay your bills to join.

[@carisaf7729]

I always say, “If chaos seems to happen wherever you go, then you’re probably the one bringing it.”

[@juliakristinamah]

ouuu... yeah. This is a tough pill to swallow, and may be true in many cases.

[@ayecandyfilms]

This really helped give me alot of clarity and calmly reflect upon the situation - Thank you for this!! :)

[@tamarafox429]

Happy thanks giving

[@missmelissa3573]

Well, I’m friendly and conversational and I put people at ease but friend groups form all around me and I’m just there - on the sidelines. The people that enjoy my ear don’t consider me to be worthy of their time outside of work. Meanwhile everyone else finds time for the odd conversation or get-together on weekends, etc. I don’t get it. I’m not even an introvert which I recognize can be a barrier for many. As this is a ‘thing’ I’ve seen from time to time growing up, perhaps it’s me but it’s also who I chose to associate with. For whatever reason I surround myself by fun, immature and selfish people so I suppose I shouldn’t expect much.

[@hp2546]

That just means it is a sign you should not be too friendly. You are friendly where you are decent, easy to get along with. Not friendly to a point where you give them power to control you. That is still making you a good coworker. You don't need to hang out with them to feel important. What makes you a good coworker is because you listened to them, help them out and get along with them but it doesn't mean you have to go out with them. You don't have to party with them. You don't have to be invited to each other's houses. I can be friendly too but I still don't let that bother me. I see many other people is able to go out on dates, go on honeymoons. I still don't investigate the reason. I still don't compete. I can still enjoy my solitude life. That example is you cannot expect to have friends even if you work well with them. Even if they have been your partner at work does not mean they have to be part of your life outside of work. If they are immature and selfish, I don't bother with them and you should not either. Being friendly also does not mean you have to babysit them and it don't mean you have to give them attention. See how I don't show signs of being desperate. I can still be friendly to them and expect nothing in return.

[@princemartin7751]

I have who I though were my friends didn’t invite me or at least tell me. I feel hurt and idk maybe I did something wrong. It’s really painful right now. Idk what to do

[@dee0731]

Great explaining of everything 🙌🏻

[@GothicManiac]

I’ve seen people getting left out because of family issues or the way they were raised. Or maybe even traumatic events. It hurts to see them like that, but I wish people could be more respectful in those situations.

[@hp2546]

I guess these type of people can be described as not being able to value themselves because due to how they were raised in a broken family, they were trained to see negative image of themselves. Almost like picking up the discouragement to believe in themselves.

[@lessthanserafim]

Thats a reason i reallyyyy hate needing to make groups in class when your alone. Like today no one wanted to be with me and everyone ignored me and just walked away. (While im typing this im actually in the schoolsbathroom crying while i actually need to go out but bc i dont have a group i just cant do anything)

[@hp2546]

If your teacher assigns a group, don't join them with the expectation of gaining friendship. When your teacher assigns you a group, just be there for project reasons only. Don't use the group time to make friends. There is a reason why joining the group has to be for project reasons only. If you are not assigned a group by your teacher, then there is no need to join. Don't initiate joining anybody when you are not assigned to get a group. When I join the group and suppose it is required in class, my mind will think when will the group time be over. So if you don't like being in a group, then don't make it a goal of getting everyone to like you. Your goal is to get out of the group as soon as possible. I hate joining a group too. That is why I don't make it a goal to impress anyone. I join the group just to get it over with. If they sense you are attached to them, then this is how they sentence you to solitude life. If you join them just to get it over with, then they work with you but note that they won't help you out just to make friends with you. Just remember that joining a group is not for a purpose of getting out of solitude life. I don't join groups for a purpose of getting out of solitude life. If you join a group just to get out of solitude life, you will always run to a bathroom crying.

[@suhanichoudhary9230]

If the answer of feeling left out is that i m an introvert or they all match vibes then why is this life so hard for me why i have to put an extra effort for even a small thing, thay are also humans but they dont feel left out most of the times, why are they extrovert

[@justingalbreath4489]

In your intro you talk about abandonment issues. Do you have a episode on how to deal with that and what are the characteristics of abandonment issues, as far as relationships, romantic, Kids, family and/or work...ect? Please help! Thanks!

[@kikigreen1380]

Such a good one. Coming from a religion that shuns the first part brought back some memories. I’ve come a long way leaving it so I’m happy to say I feel good and have come out the other side. Such a validating video. I love waiting for your videos every week and having them connect with something that has happened in the past or recently. Thanks always! 🙏🏻

[@PabloRuizMega]

will giving gifts to people for christmas make people accept you the next semester/next year in school?

[@susyQ0816]

I feel like I am a better friend to others than they are to me. The constant anger and disappointment is so heavy and tiring. I want to put the burden down and don’t know how.

[@GokuBlackIsReal]

How can i complain when my own self has left me out

[@tacosushi6161]

i lost friends because i showed i was upset being left out haha...now i dont say anything lost those friends so i keep it to myself. i dont want to seem like an annoyance or bother.

[@hopoutside]

I was not invited to the most recent family vacation. Three step sisters, my brother, all of their significant others, my mom and her husband were all there. I'm 48 and at the point where I'm considering keeping the invitation open for anyone to visit us, yet my wife & I will fly on our own going forward. Narcissistic father originally, and possibly same dynamic with mom's new husband although not certain, to be honest. Since my mom remarrying, my relationship with her is virtually non-existent.

[@hp2546]

Once you are married, they moved on and created a new family. Look at this situation. Since your mom remarry, your relationship with her is non-existent. How do you think your mom felt when you got married? She most likely felt your life with her is non-existent too. That is why she moved on. If you wanted to keep your old life, you must never get married in the first place. Think about this, you got married, then moved out. That already means they treat you like an independent individual. If you wanted to stay in your parents' shadows, you don't create a life of your own. Once you are married, they days of you being a mama's boy is over. The reason why they give lesser invitation is because they had already expected that you moved on from your old life. If you go back to your old family now, it is like you want to come crawling back to your old life wanting to be single. The people who originally raised you, you are no longer the responsibility once you are married. What if you and your wife were to have kids? You can't expect the person who raised you to help out with loneliness. Once you move forward with your life, do not think of going back to your old life. Remember that you still have your wife. Your wife is considered a 1st priority. Not your mom, stepfather, stepsister or your brother. Once you get married, your old life is not expected to be the same. You can't beg them to take you back because it will sound like you did not make a right decision of getting married. Your relationship is still there but difference is they no longer have the need to spend time with you when they know that you have your wife to depend on. When you no longer live in their roof, they give lesser invitations and less attention.

[@creativechristiancontent]

I agree we need to look at ourselves but this video isn't helpful if it's just a one sided point of view a bit pointless.

[@photonjohnny]

Julia, you do NOT have to fix yourself. Your response was normal. People suck. It is not what a person says or does, but who says and does. Here is the "fix". Boundaries to everything. If events work out where you are treated just like every one else, good. But if you are plan B, C, or D, with no hope of upgrade (good luck with that as people have the attention span of a moth), reject the invitation.

[@KmNry]

I like this videos. But I wish less chat and rambling before the actual topic .

[@BePresent.]

I used to feel left out of my family events in fact I was left out.....now i leave myself out . They are toxic...im not ...

[@hp2546]

I am with you. Once you are being mistreated, you are going to want to be left out. Chances are, other people gets a free pass while if I do that same thing, they blame me. I know I am an easy target to be picked on. Many of them would hate to admit their flaws so that is why this thing can go on and on where I leave myself out of this while they try to convince me to join without them putting an effort to humble themselves. Family members do not know how to impress. So it sounds like your family will only view you as toxic all because you defend your solitude life. In reality, we cannot be held responsible as being toxic just because we mind our own business. Those that are entitled make up the rules and claim we are in relationship for control. I would be like how is wanting to be left alone considered attempting to be in relationship for control.

[@DarcyandMarcy_1028]

I know this is a late comment but I was on Roblox and I was on a roplay game and I asked can I join so they said yes but then they said no you don’t get to join then I kept asking and I was the only one out of the 20 ppl to be kicked out and as it was little it was hurtful and I started crying for no reason and I just breathed in and out it happend like 1 minute ago btw

[@huntingxtreme7904]

Good morning, I hope you’re doing well. If you rearrange the letters in depression, you get “I pressed on”. Just thought I’d share that with you.

[@seankelly1366]

I greatly admire your valuable information that you have provided via KZbin channel within the channel that you have provided... I may have to add a little more in relation with the given subject.. I don't feel exiled with the subject matter for which I have been experiencing for most of my mortal existence on Earth but that I most certainly can be able to live within the confides of the wilderness and adapt well with the surroundings that are presented to me..thus the initial design of the warriors which surround the globe..provided for us by example of the Samurai as well as the Spartans along with the Vikings along with the Native Americans along with the Aborigines of the South Pacific.. I once again thank you for your divine knowledge which we all may learn from.

[@cloudsofsunset7323]

Well... this reasoning is very mature... but I guess... In my case, the reason why I am dealing with these emotions is because there are some group dynamics I consider them. Very toxic. At my college university we are literally 8 people. So there is like a center group in which people revolve around. I see them, tagging along, not being though about. Barely even interacting with the center of two people who are literally joined to the hip. Me being me, I go my way because I really need that independance and go about my life. However, there are some situations in which we should work as a class, not as a werid group power sttrugle. At those moments, when I think of them. They might assume I am going my way. And that make me feel this way.

[@hp2546]

Working in groups is normally about get the project done then you no longer have to see them again. You will only be there for project purposes only and so will the group. So that still fits the theme for solitude life which means it fits the theme for you to act independent. Who needs friends? I am sure they won't judge you going your own way because your group will consider going their own way once the project is over.

[@JanetYoung-k5k]

It's bad enough when they exclude at work but when your own family ghosts and treats their friends better than family it hurts.

[@jasond626]

Wow great video.. this is something i really struggle with. I think I'm a good friend and a good person. I need to be mindful about how I share and what I say so it isn't moany a lot. Thing is I find I'm not invited to stuff, possibly cos I've been honest about health etc, however I've tried to keep it fairly brief.. but others in the group go on about COVID, lockdowns, doom and gloom etc a lot. But they don't see the amount of time they talk about it (a lot a lot) but seem very critical of me..

[@itsmemartiiin]

I felt left out before, always, with them. Then suddenly, they (this specific circle of friends) don't talk to me at all. My instinct always telling me that because I don't have enough money, they feel me this way. Maybe this is fine, since my other circle of friends are not like them. I also felt that there's superiority when surrounding with them. That I'm at the bottom and they are higher than me. But that's fine. I won't buy toblerone pagnasa abroad ako. My childhood friends and other friends are not like them and they are still good at me and I'm good at them since we were child up until now that they have kids. So maybe the problem is not on me.

[@Jennifer-ln6uz]

Thank you 🙏 I really needed this

[@yuandi9410]

I just feel left out around my family I just can't be my self I hate it and they are sulfish and disgusting I just want an other family name I think they hate me and I am only pushing it I guess I will stop doing that I hate it when I am not important around my family than I am around my friends and strangers it's a horrible feeling I wish I can change this

[@Sira.a]

My problem with friends is like im offline i chat and i say what did i miss they say nothing and i want to tell them but im scared because they would like bully me and i would be lonely but i like i feel i cant do anything

[@alonanomi5809]

When I don't feel well, I isolate myself. Which is easy since nobody ever invite me. Nobody ever actually think at me. I tested my friends one day and it took 5 month before someone even wanted to take news... Of course I also realized that when you want to see someone just call and do the invitation. But it's always one sided. What I bring to the table ? I bring support. I'm the person that if you randomly dump your problem too, even if perfect strangers. I will listen to them. I know most of the time just listening is all I can do and all I should do. But that's what I bring. When people want to do dangerous stuff, I do tell them but I don't stop them. Instead I wait with the first aid kit. When I talk about something and someone want us to change subject I don't stop them. Hell most of the time they don't bring the next subject and that I asked them what they want to talk about they don't propose anything. So I need to make list of possible subjects they might like. But I don't do that to control. I do that cause they don't do it. I always put others before me, and when I think about myself they insult me and leave. Just put on simple boundry and people turn against you, when all you asked was " please do not act passive agressive it hurt me " well guess I know why they were passive agressive and pushing blame on me. They didn't care, they left and I am not talking about a lover here. Those are friendships. Bad one I suppose. The point is...how do you deal with being left out....when you are and it's not in your mind ?

[@hp2546]

You don't have to test them by being their doormat. Rule #1 of making friends is not to charge them with friendship just because you did some mutual aid/charity work. You got to make an impression you help them free of charge. The minute they start to pick up a behavior of mistreatment, don't make it your job to help them. If they want to do something dangerous, don't bother seeing them again. Testing them does not have to mean you become their doormat. If they failed to treat you a decent way, just walk away. They have no reason to complain because they never invested in you for friendship. If they were never your friends, it isn't your job to be there for them. Point is don't let them use you for free labor. That situation should already tell you that they did not want your help. You just have to be willing to cut them out of your life. Remember that you cannot control the outcome of them hurting themselves. When you make friends, you should never put up with misery just to fit in. That is like letting yourself become their slave. If they sense you feel lonely, this is exactly how they take advantage of you. When you help them, make sure it is not about who owes who. Remember helping them does not mean they owe you friendship.

[@susanna8612]

Im same when I feel hurt, I withraw and might isolate. Just because I need to go things through with myself, not because I try to turn my back away from other people. But what comes to waiting other people contact you and nobody will... is that often other people might feel the same. That you dont care about them or maybe dont want to connect with them because they havent heard from you in 5 months. I have heard many people complaine that. Like everyone is expecting another person take the first move. I also have figured out that when u take the first move yourself it kind of gives this green light for other people to contact you too more easily. We often mirror each other.

[@hp2546]

@@susanna8612 Good example because they did not want you there. So leaving them is a way to respect their decisions. I mean hey, they rejected your offer and you decided ok, they want their peace and not ready to include you. Doing something like this shows that they cannot complain about you. I mean if you make a 1st move on them, they will have a power to claim you are a stalker. So when you walk away, your way is saying sorry to bother you. I will leave you alone. So it means you did not leave them. You left because there were no consent for you to join. Leaving them is when they want or needed you in that scene. But since they don't need or want you, then that won't count as leaving them. When you leave them, it shows that you just wanted them to feel happy.

[@julierobertson91]

How does one deal with being a third wheel at work?

[@jenniferleigh1674]

I am on my own path with financial literacy while most Millenials are getting deeper in debt I'm learning about staying out of it, there all buying material things, having kids, getting married and I'm single with a kid living with my dad. They're getting fit and I'm trying to get my mind right before I feel like I can get fit again with limiting beliefs. It sucks. I have FOMO because my path is different than societies timeline of events but don't think societies is "much better"

[@soioioioioioio34]

What if your home life if physically violent and no one believes you not even the police because the abuser talks to the police?

[@liljemark1]

Thanks Julia!

[@nawoh]

thank you, really 💌

[@btslover4011]

exactly it feels like no one knows u no one gives a daamnnn abt you! and that hurts like very much ! sometimes they'll make me feel like special sometimes i dont exist for them... ik this is a minor prob but just sayin it out loud makes me feel a lil better

[@lordalepore]

Thank you so much

[@RoadRunnergarage8570]

I feel this all of the time .. 😭!!

[@chippywelsh9040]

I genuinely have no idea what people think about me. I know I’m incredibly unmemorable because people just don’t remember me or my name or that they’ve met me before. Mostly I’m not bothered, I think if I wasn’t very nice, a pain, unpleasant etc then they would remember me! I guess I’m just boring. There’s nothing remarkable about my looks, I’m fairly quiet. Oh well 🤷‍♀️

[@tamarafox429]

That's great 👍

[@toddlaber2455]

hello everyone I'm Todd new here 👋 I have always felt unimportant to people I spend most of my time alone

[@birgip.m.1236]

Some people don't like to / think of mixing people Some people like to "curate" their get-togethers Some people get uncomfortable with too many people Some people don't want to share friends .... Different comfort & consciousness & consideration levels

[@hp2546]

These type of people would be entitled type of people. I mean having standards to wanting to join plus mixing it with standards. That person who creates standard like that is like already kicked out of the group. If that person have different comfort zones, that person would not have a mindset to join because part of joining a group would mean give up discrimination and never think me me me. It is like going to a job interview. A person would not be in position judge which kind of people they want to mix and cannot complain about signing up.

[@garyharlow1647]

my family has cut me out for ten years and its still happening it hasnt stopped i havent seen my niece and nephew for ten years because my brother wont allow it and now it seems like the only two friends i have are leaving me out maybe im better of left alone

[@jackieemuta9892]

I didn't go on this camp where all my friends went, and now I feel like damn...

[@hp2546]

That kind of trip won't mean anything if they don't give a consent to let you join. Even if you went and supposed they leave you behind, then you would of wished you stayed home. They never invited you and it is not a good idea to invite yourself. Staying home is a good decision. By not giving in to entitlement, you are in a process of earning their trust. You got to take your time to enjoy solitude life. If they sense you aren't enjoying solitude life, you are not a good catch to gain anyone's trust. The longer you enjoy solitude life and mean it, then they will think, what is Jackie doing. Why did we not invite Jackie? They only want you if you seem to have better things to do.

[@izawaniek2568]

Thank you for great observations. I totally agree. Take good care!

[@NicholasDheo]

It's lonely here... I don't even know what I did (if I even did anything) ... POOF! they "sh** talk" me.. and now those group of people hate me..

[@lydiagibbs9106]

I'm beginning to think that the reason our family is being kind of left out lately is because my autistic adult son has his issues with sounds and mosquitoes and needs, that they simply don't want to hang around us anymore. I'm hoping it's not that, maybe it's just me, but I wonder....It'd be sad if it were the case.🤔😔

[@hp2546]

Family does comes first regardless so you don't want to end up trading your autistic son just to hang out with friends. If they want to leave you based on your son, then they are only making excuses to cover up their own misery. Maybe they saw that you were married to a spouse they wanted and they were jealous and they only complain about your son. Who knows. Other people just acting jealous in their own way. Those who have kids of their own do not judge what kind of child you raise because they experienced their own struggles on how it is like raising their own child. What about your spouse? Your spouse is there to support you raising a child right? You don't need quantity of friend if you have that 1 friend who is your spouse. You aren't a single parent right? Raising a child does not mean you need friends. If you make friends while raising a child, at least find someone who respects you. Just don't hang out with people who judges you because if you do this hanging out with fake friends, you send the wrong message to your autistic son. You don't want to end up teaching your autistic son that it is ok to force friendship or being entitled when making friends. You don't want to end up teaching your autistic son to be creepy when making friends. You don't need to hang out with fake friends. Hanging out with fake friends would also set bad examples to your autistic son. Whatever family you get, don't act ashamed of it. It is life. Just like people should never complain about how their new born can ruin their life, you must not complain about how an autistic son can ruin your life. Can't blame your child for ruining your social life and you can't hang out with people who doesn't understand the value of family.

[@inarichards7554]

I’m experiencing this lately .

[@tamarafox429]

Sometimes i don't want to be a part of things Sometimes I do.. Lol ✌ 😆

[@victoriastallard]

Tamara Fox I understand & get it 💯 me too 😊

[@adrianf2368]

Wow, m Maam that was me in H.S.

[@clarice4426]

I would just be glad to be invited at the last minute since I never get invited to anything anyway.

[@ClementineShmementine]

11:20 Not one person (random family that is not social and a bf are all I got) reached out in almost 2 years that were “friends” even left out of my “best friend of many years” wedding. i am intolerable i hate myself

[@hp2546]

You just have to not get attach to anyone. Just don't rush in and assume they are your friends. Remember how you ended up letting 1 guy become your bf? Don't rush it. If you rush in too fast to get a relationship, your partner can end up being your social distance partner. Like for example, what if that guy you called bf did not love you? I mean you have people including your bf that is not even there for you. So that right there tells me that it is not even a time to call them your friends if they aren't even spending those years being there for you. If you rush in and call any of them friends, you will only live a lie. Here is another question. When was a last time that guy ever got intimate with you? When did he ever give you any romantic relationship? Otherwise if he had not yet past the stage of giving you any friendship, it is not a time to call him your fiance. If you don't build any connection with that person, it is not a time to call them your friends. Just don't pretend to fit in and don't pretend to enjoy it. You have to enjoy it for reals. If they are staying away from you, then it is a sign that you have not even went through the friendship process yet. Connections happen naturally. There is no forcing connections to happen. To feel the connection, that other person also need to feel connected. It cannot be you feel the connection and then they are automatically your friends. That is why you must take your time to know them before even calling them your friends. If that person cannot be your friend, that person cannot be your fiance. Anyone who were to be your fiance also goes through the friendship process.

[@freyah7407]

I WAS playing with my cousins and then they made a friend it was okay at first... but then I made friends with her... they didn't include me in their game 😔

[@hp2546]

They know your cousin longer then you. If you were to get included, you got to find your own friends. Not a family member's friends. Think of it another way. What if your cousin were to get a fiance? Are you going to steal your cousin's fiance? The answer is no. Same rules applies when making friends. You pick your own friends. Not your cousin's friends.

[@shathiralakdilu9301]

How sad are we for clicking this video?

[@lindseyhebert5568]

I’m feeling left out in a group they used to love me they don’t add me a few years ago I felt like they kicked me out I was sweet to me so I met them the fourth Time in April 8 months then they stopped texting on messenger they say that im their favorite

[@hp2546]

They were giving you false hope this whole time. Think about it. You claim they love you. If they love you, then how come they don't want to include you. Action speaks louder then words. All they can do is tell you they love you but the problem is they can't even show it. Sounds like all they do is string you along.

[@yarazard]

Im def not in the immediate circle because of where im physically located. It’s a double-edged sword

[@MoleyRusselsWart_]

The problem I have with these solutions is that we constantly have to ‘fix’ ourselves… When in reality, sometimes people are just jerks.

[@pixelgood3258]

Yeah exactly.

[@Rose-vt1wn]

Absolutely..

[@MichaelTLane-cu1rj]

You can’t control others’ behavior, just your reactions. So it will always be a “self fix”, even if that fix is just not caring cause those people are jerks.

[@Christa-tl8jb]

Leave me out? Then leave me alone….for good. Bye!

[@KM-po5kk]

You can only control yourself & your reactions. Check your perspective of things first before trying to change others.

[@esmfamil5086]

I tried to gaslight myself and tell myself that I have social anxiety and this is all in my head. But I have to accept the fact that I am in fact being left out and this is very much real. No matter how hard I try to be social, at the end of the day my "friends"don't care for me and I can't do anything abt it. I'm tired of trying. Maybe I'll have friends in another life. I just wanna move on.

[@johnnyyan2834]

It is not your fault, I am sure there is someone out there who cares about you. Shift your focus to someone who really cares about you instead of those who don't give a f.

[@jalisamoore8633]

I too feel the same way. After a long time of no friends you stop pointing the finger at everyone else and convince yourself maybe I am the problem.

[@hp2546]

Respecting their decisions by leaving them is a start. I mean they don't want to take you so all you can do is respect their decision by walking away. If you stick around, they will have a power to call you a stalker and will have many ways to looks for flaws in you. So proud of you. You took the responsibility by not showing entitlement. All you did is put yourself out there and socialize. Note that socialize does not have to mean making friends. So when you socialize, you also learned to detach yourself from them. The replace the word tired of trying in a positive way, it is more like you are ready to detach yourself from them and move on with your life. You may still be social but if you sense they don't like you, just respect their decision by leaving them. Note that you don't have to be anyone's doormat to force yourself to make friends. Difference is you can be a social type of person does not mean you have to have friends to call yourself social.

[@susanna8612]

Get new hobbies, find your tribe elsewhere. Be authentically you and dont try to be people pleaser.

[@INFJ2]

I usually hope that I'm not invited to things. As an introvert it's only rarely I want to go to things because I dont want forced socialization. It only becomes difficult in the rare circumstances I do want to go to. I enjoy my free time which is a minimal amount of times outside my heavy work week

[@solidcatink]

My problem is that I feel left out often, but oftentimes I just want to be left alone. I am a contradiction. It's uncomfortable for me because I would like to be included and belong; I just don't want to talk about stupid, superficial things all the time. Also I like to rest my voice, and most people drain me.

[@JG-pr4mc]

@Katora Khan that’s literally have i feel. you put it into words perfectly!

[@kimberlyjones538]

Same 💜❤️

[@solidcatink]

@@kimberlyjones538 💜

[@teresanoble47]

@Solid Cat Ink-Wow! I have felt that way all of my life. You are not alone. When I would tell people I'm close to how I feel, they would shame me and wouldn't understand. It is refreshing to know someone has had the same experience.

[@solidcatink]

@@teresanoble47 :)

[@katebender4745]

The left out feelings I get are mostly from people I use to hang out with a lot but they started claiming they were "too busy" but yet are constantly talking about what they do with other people. I'm trying to figure out what I did to cause it, but I'm not sure what changed. Other than I was going through a tough time and I felt like they abandoned me. Maybe I wasn't fun anymore? Not to be a downer, but they aren't good friends if they abandon you when you need them. I don't think you can only be a good friend only if you are happy all the time. That seems fake.

[@edwinromilly4645]

Yes i Agree,Some people ahave a pack mentality and want to be top dog,or don’t have a empathetic side,Pay Attention to what your paying attention to as sometimes its a transference of feelings people pick up on.If your feeling vulnerable they pick up on it and kind of use that against you etc.I respect your courage to face your fears and question yourself but make sure your smile changes the world but don’t let the world change your smile lol peace😲🕊

[@refreshyourpage._.0]

What I feel in life is more about facing my own fear and despair, and I often think: why do they look busy, why am I not so busy, it seems like my life is not going anywhere, I am stuck They stayed where they were, and they kept moving forward. This feeling will make me even more afraid to contact them. After all, I just want a stable environment where I can live safely, not a relationship that can change at any time. I may need a sense of security lol.

[@patsavinda1703]

Absolutely agree. I went through a rough time with my husband and ever since I am left out in all circles. Glad I didn’t count on them to be there through that time. Life is so fake anymore.

[@fatimaafaf5740]

I've gone through the same, people whom I used to hang out with all the time and talk to them for hours on end, chose to abandon me and they stayed friends themselves. It was really hurtful, don't know where I went wrong

[@susanna8612]

Those friends who stick around when u go through hard times and help you out are those you really want to share your happiness and success too whe you feel great. Is it real friendship tho when someone is around only when you feel great or succesfull ? I dont think so, sometimes everyone needs support and listening ears. If I care about a friend or family member I feel bad if they feel bad. I want to see them happy. Alltho if someone is always down, negative and whining its normal that people want to avoid that person.

[@namewithheldnamewithheld2725]

Rejection is protection .🤗

[@shellyhodgson8352]

I have realized that those people that don’t include me I have always felt uncomfortable around them, so I think to myself those kind of people I don’t want in my life anyway. If you can never figure someone out and feel very awkward around them then you don’t need them in your life!! You always know when your around the right people when you can be yourself and have fun!! 🥰

[@danellae.perezschmieloz5958]

Yeah I have had the same thing happen to me. I don't feel at ease with them but I still want to be invited

[@Job.Well.Done_01]

Very true. It’s the soul-connection!

[@prakritibhatt9104]

Thanks u made me feel better

[@clarice4426]

Yes exactly! A good way to put it. Thanks!

[@localreviewer5939]

I agree. And it happens alot in churches. Clicks everywhere. I’m going through this very thing. Been to a few ladies functions and being new, I was left to a whole empty table by myself. I felt so inferior each time I attended these ladies functions, all the while thinking I wd get to know them through these get togethers. Most people don’t make room for new friends, unless you have certain status they’re interested in. If I have to beg for your attention and to like me, I don’t have time for you in my kids. It’s always performance based feeling like I have to show them how wonderful and cool and pretty and sweet or whatever I am, before you get to even want to look my way. and I’m tired. Why not just get to know someone who’s new and try not to be exclusive?

[@afsanamim3621]

They makes me feel awful on purpose, the feeling when you realise you are their side friend and they've always used you,,it breaks my heart

[@hp2546]

It is the time to cut those people out of your life. I mean on purpose, that is a low blow. What would of been better is if they make you feel awful with good intentions of getting you to improve yourself, that would be better. If it is meant to make you feel awful without any goal of how to improve your life, I say those people are jerks.

[@stephaniepiazzese2602]

Thankyou, your comment just clarified for me, what I was looking for the right word for. “ SIDE FRIEND”,,,, I’m letting you know, that you JUST HELPED ME!!!😂😂❤❤

[@nicolepatera8287]

This is so synchronistic. This wound came up for me to heal yesterday! Wow. Totally resonated and helped me understand further! Thank you 🙏🏼

[@danellae.perezschmieloz5958]

Yeah it just came up for me

[@TonyaS]

I think another part of the process after you have not gone down a dark rabbit hole AND you thought about the energy you are bringing to the table is figuring out if certain people are worth getting upset over not being invited. If you are repeatedly being left out, you might want to focus your energy into people who choose YOU. That being said, give people some grace for not always choosing you as it really probably does have little to do with you!

[@juliakristinamah]

Yes to all of this. Sometimes we just don't jive with certain people, so it's good to find people we do.

[@beckyhervey7291]

Yes I’ve found this!!! A group of friends that I used to be really good friends with and see a lot - we then didn’t see each other as much - but still considered a group but then there were also mini groups within the group. Then a fall out happened between two of us - one being the one who organised a lot of the meets ups. And unfortunately this has lead to me not really being invited to things anymore. I loosely suggested meeting to some of the others but didn’t really have much response. Just don’t think we’re aligned anymore. And when Im really honest about it, I was probably trying to continue the friendships when energetically it’s probably just not the same anymore. I have other friendships where it just flows effortlessly and we are very much aligned. So yes letting go of people/groups can be another step. Although a painful one sometimes. Thanks for adding this Tonya and for your video Julia!

[@Alwayslearnimg]

No, I feel more like Taylor Swift an antihero. It’s me, hi, I’m the problem it’s me. However, I’m not sure what to do about it or what I’m even doing wrong. Being myself apparently doesn’t work. I’m a little angry today because I’m just tired of having to fight the loneliness and whatever it is that makes me not OK. I’ve got books and dogs and lots of music. People suck but I really would like to have some friends I knew I could count on. There’s no guarantees.

[@melyndafrazer1962]

This is SOOOO good Julia, I'm left out a lot from things and wonder why, but this helps so much. Thanks so much. Lots to think about, great perspective for me to learn from and to think about.

[@lizafield9002]

Great comment. Gracious & inquiring also. It seems you have a shaman quality, & they traditionally were set apart from the village, for deepening their equanimity & healing love for all, but also maybe would have been burdened by the mundane self-interested levels at which many folks exist.

[@brooklynn52dee38]

I have at times felt left out, but when I thought it through I felt better! I too have the freedom of choice to invite any friend I choose to for lunch and so can others! Great vid, you covered most all the bases and explained why! You bring much clarity! Thank you!!

[@juliakristinamah]

Glad this one connected.

[@brooklynn52dee38]

@@juliakristinamah I connect with many of your vids! Look forward to them all, keep them coming!!

[@indridcold8433]

I got over the feeling of being left out years ago. I have had nobody in my life since 8 August 2000. I adapted to exist alone. Today, I am so self-reliant, resourceful, and independent, that I can not conceive of functioning with others. It only hurt the first two years. But adapting to having no friends, I found enormous benefits. I can not imagine existing like I did before I isolated. Humans are indoctrinated to be social from birth. But, once I started functioning beyond my indoctrination, I found an incredible new lifestyle. Life is so simple without worrying about what others think about me, wondering why I was left out, and wondering if someone is being honest with me or not. I have no true social media network memberships. I have no social circle scheduling conflicts. I do not travel in a herd and having to go where the herd goes. I do not have to worry about the subject matter in the video at all. All this is far in the past. I am glad I socially isolated. I go weeks without seeing a single person. The freedom is incredible. My mind is so clear because I worry nothing about any sort of social complexities. The video sounds so very complicated. With no friends, girlfriend, aquaintences, all the video subject matter disappears. 23 years without social connections can not be wrong. Life is much easier without a social existence. Besides, it seemed people did not care if I spent time with them, or not. I was just an afterthought because I was too quiet. Now, being quiet does not pose any problem.

[@simsim5919]

I'm glad you can live this way, I like also to not worry about others opinion of me, etc and for people to not judge me, and im happy to not socialise also but I still feel I have to , I haven't gone as far as you to happily isolate myself, however I have isolated myself to avoid all the stressors you mentioned by associating with people but I haven't done this happily and still feel I need to mix with people when I'm at a stage they won't judge me, so I have a no win situation

[@indridcold8433]

@@simsim5919 It is a learning process. All of us have been indoctrinated, from birth, that we must be social to feel fulfilled and be successful. That indoctrination is done to keep people close together so the powers-that-be can monitor us better. It simply is not true that humans must be social. The first two years of social isolation, you will feel as if you need to seek out friendship, and a mate. After all, your indoctrination runs deep. It is not our fault. But, you feel a sudden peace come over you around the third year. You realise you need nobody in your life in an interpersonal fashion. It is all just a programmed preference. You will not die, nor become ill without interpersonal, social, contacts. In fact, your body will become far healthier. Your mind will become far more active. You will become self-reliant, independent, crafty, and stop considering asking for assistance from anybody. Embrace your new lifestyle. You require no interpersonal, social, interactions to live. Air, water, food, shelter, are all that are required for humans to live. Everything else are luxuries, including being social, which serves little purpose.

[@simsim5919]

@@indridcold8433 I have Christian beliefs so a part of being Christian is to help others when you can aa long as your not a doormat, so I'd rather be what God would prefer me to be. I think it would be a much darker world than it is if no one spoke to anyone else , the temptation to isolate myself from others is always there it's easier for me to just have associations with people rather than have close friends.

[@simsim5919]

I'm a happier person with Christian beliefs and I choose to believe what I do , im not indoctrinated about it, I've had some experiences that let me know there is something else in the spiritual realm

[@indridcold8433]

@@simsim5919 In today's world, one can be ruined by helping someone. Long ago, I helped a man out of a crashed vehicle. This was before were made that they trapped the occupants inside in a crash. The man, then tried to sue me forf damage to his prosthetic leg. I went to court and he lied all through the hearing. If it were not for the traffic camera, I would have lost a tremendous amount by just helping someone. It was then I decided nevef to help anybody again, in order to protect myself from undesirables. The All Mighty does not help those that do not help themselves. I am helping myself to stay safe now. As for people not speaking to each other, almost all conflicts are caused by poor social interactions. Delete social interactions and almost all conflict will disappear. There is no rule that states we must be social. It is simply an indoctrination handed forth from our birth. The negatives of being social, today, far outweigh the positives. There will be no further attempts and interpersonal, social, interactions, social connections, nor social associations from me. If one does not learn from our errors, we are destined to repeat those errors. I learned from my errors. Please remember that Jesus isolated himself crossing a desert when he was tempted by Satan. He was able to avoid the temptations of Satan completely isolated from human contact.

[@tootienottoofruitie1726]

I was feeling bad about being locked out, then I realized it was better than being locked in ‼️‼️‼️♥️😊

[@birgip.m.1236]

Awesome reframe!!