The time I found out I was a bad flutist

[@jenniferflores4432]

The best thing about being in the bottom is there's no were to go but up

[@rizzie_chan]

I totally feel... My friend(she's a senior now and I'm a sophomore in high school) and I both play clarinet, and she's mindblowingly good. She was first chair in the All-State band for three or four years, I think, and was section leader her sophomore year(I am too this year lol but it was unexpected), and woodwind captian her upperclassmen years. I get really bad anxiety when auditioning or playing in front of other people in general, so of course I almost never have the guts to practice for hours on end in fear of someone walking in on me playing. I aspire to be like her but my anxiety always gets the best of me, and I'm also not that confident(hence my fuzzy tone around other people, but when I play by myself I have the confidence to direct my air stream better). It really helped me to see this video, thank you so much for posting!

[@harrislevy8149]

I stumbled across your site, and have found you to be highly engaging and entertaining. Sometimes you just crack me up with your stories. I have a story for you related to your mention of your closed hole flute. Many years ago I was working at the Homestead, a resort in Hot Spring Virginia. I was a saxophonist in the house band, and had the need to double on flute. It was a struggle for sure, as far as tone and range and flexibility were concerned. I had occasion to meet Jeanne Baxtresser, principal flutist with the NY Philharmonic. She and other principals would come to the Homestead for a couple of weeks during the summer and perform chamber music concerts in exchange for being treated as guests. This had to be a treat for them, coming from New York. These folks were mindblowingly good at what they did. Anyway, I introduced myself to her and asked if she would give me a couple of lessons, for which I would gladly pay her. She graciously refused payment and she gave me great guidance. Ms. Baxtresser has very small hands, and her flute was customized as a closed hole. If I recall correctly, the foot was permanently attached to the body. Make no mistake, this flute was worth a fortune, but CLOSED HOLE. And of course the sound she got out of it was pure heaven. So for those folks out there concerned about the closed hole flute, don't have open hole envy, just put in your time in the practice room, and you'll be alright.

[@mc526]

Music can be very humbling. That said, sometimes people are just jerks. Trust in yourself and your abilities.

[@canonguy1]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this.... I thought it was only me that was a bad musician....

[@glenquarrie3414]

Yep, nicely put! Self doubt is so common among musicians. Embrace your successes and learn from your failures. In 41 years of professional playing I've never played a perfect concert and I've never been boo-ed off of the stage. Just love what you do and enjoy the other musicians around you. Give to the music and it will give back to you.

[@kiaraeijo]

When I first started my undergrad, I played for my college band director and he tried to put me in Pre-Applied Flute lessons. When my teacher at the time found out, she got very upset and she fought with him to convince him that I was good enough. She told me that I was too advanced pre-applied flute lessons. For three years, no matter what I did to impress him, it was never enough. In the last two years of my undergrad, I was surprised with how supportive all my teachers were especially my flute teacher, my piano teacher, my orchestra director, and my chamber music professor. They all helped me become more confident with my playing. :)

[@marchabuyuan-llanes684]

I can't I literally cannot even right now. Thank you so much for replying and taking your time!!! I was just practicing a while ago and couldn't get through this part and I started to cry hahaha thank you!!! I feel so damn honoured

[@marchabuyuan-llanes684]

Sorry if I offended you by the last sentence! Haha, I'm always wary about my instrument :DDD Thanksss

[@marchabuyuan-llanes684]

+Marco Ruben Abuyuan Llanes wait no I literally cannot, I have been chosen by Joanna, from all the other comments and spent her ticking time to answer me and make a video. Huhu thank you so much haha, (I'm gonna watch the vid now sorry Joanna!)

[@jeremyngpiano]

I think you're very inspiring. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, I can relate. I struggle with being inadequate myself sometimes.

[@MegaMmiller]

I have been having a case of the "I'm terrible" sundrome lately when I switched from Clarinet to Bassoon. I was playing clarinet so well and I felt not like I was the best, but pretty dang good. When I switched to Bassoon, I had to re-learn everything like bass clef, scales, fingerings, and It didn't really hit me that I was back to square one until I had a scales test and totally bombed it. At the time it bummed me out pretty bad, but now it just inspires me to do better and really push myself to get to where I was on clarinet. And this video was just added to the realization that it's ok to suck just a little sometimes.

[@dylantharp87]

I switched from clarinet to bassoon almost a year and a half ago. It took a really long time to gain confidence with my etudes and stuff, especially when I was playing in front of my teacher. I felt like my tone was super buzzy and gross, but it's gotten much better since I've been practicing. I feel like the big turning point was when I started doing vibrato because then I was able to fully express myself as I wanted through the music, so I loosened up a lot more, which further increased my tone production since so much of playing the bassoon is being relaxed, but also supporting and having a reasonably tight embouchure around the entire reed

[@heidifluteatl]

How do I know how this feels. When I graduated from high school my dad gave me the gift of a flute master class which went for 2 weeks in the country in Maine. I was going to be attending music school at the University of Maine in the fall. My roommate for this master class was just finished with her freshman year at Eastman. She decided to play the Doppler Hungarian fantasy for her piece I was going to work on the Chaminade concertino. She started to tell me all the things that she had played in high school. Memorized!! At this point I realized I was never going to be good enough to be a professional musician. She was a wonderful person and I can't believe she didn't just laugh at me when I picked up my flute to try and play the chaminade. She told me about taking lessons with the first flutist of the Los Angeles philharmonic. She told me about her lovely teacher Bonita Boyd. I felt so lucky to have gotten to know her. I still do. But boy it's heartbreaking to be going into your freshman year of Music School thinking you are the worst flutist in the world and you're never going to have your dream of being an orchestra flute player. When I play for concerts in local bands, when I play at my church when I'm practicing at home I get a lot of compliments from people who tell me wow you're such a good flutist. Over the 40 years since that Master Class I have practiced my butt off. I'm still not good enough to be a professional orchestra flutist with a professional orchestra. And I don't care I take the comments from these friends strangers and acquaintances and say to myself I am a good player. Just like you said but I'm just not the best and I guess that's good enough. Thanks for posting this and sorry for the long comment Heidi in Atlanta

[@jakejake258]

I absolutely loved this! I'm going into my sophomore year of music school (ed) and I decided to continue lessons over the summer with my professor. I hit a point where I was just not enjoying practice at all and felt very negatively about music and my saxophone. I talked with my professor during lessons and he said almost exactly this (especially about the part in 10 years when you're still not good enough). It's so rewarding to see this reiterated by another respected musician. It's so important to accept yourself wholly in order to enjoy the music you are surrounded by and to grow. Thanks, Joanna!

[@trevorvaz7109]

Thankyou so much, I am going to UNT in the fall and I have gotten critiques I have never gotten before and I felt like I wasn't a true flutist, like I felt like a joke, but am determined to be better, thanks for making this video!

[@dylantharp87]

Trevor Vaz I misread UNT as NUT lmao

[@kyndelopez-johnson6273]

Omg! I’m thinking about going to UNT! Could we talk about your experience there?

[@katemusician2192]

In my opinion all musicians including celebrities go through their worst part in their career and just need somebody to tell them that it'll take time but you'll get through it. When I went through my bad time as a musician I found your channel and you've really helped and honestly I'm crying after this video cause it touched me so much and it made me remember my bad time and why I love music and that I can get through it, so thanks for this video and all the others

[@justwatching8682]

Can you please play your favorite music piece?

[@peytonhawkins486]

YES PLEASE DO IT I'D LOVE TO HEAR YOU PLAY!!!

[@gearaddictclimber2524]

OMG, thank you SOOOO much for explaining that! I had no idea what support was before this video! I thought it was just clenching your stomach; but now I understand that it helps you get air out faster and actually SUPPORT your sound -duh, it’s called support for a reason :). Thanks a ton

[@vulcanmuse7715]

This video really resonated with me. I was first chair All-State for two years in high school, and then when I went to music school I felt like I didn't really know anything at all. Suddenly my embouchure was all wrong (something that I still regularly work with and experiment with), my double tonguing was weak, my technique wasn't as good as I thought it was... It truly was demoralizing, and combined with the fact that the teacher at the first music school I went to was actually quite verbally and emotionally abusive, it served to discourage me from practicing rather than encouraging me. It wasn't until I transferred to another music school with a teacher with a completely different teaching philosophy that I started to embrace the whole concept of continual growth. Thank you for speaking the truth about this!

[@zetad]

Great post, Joanna! Not many videos in yoube worth 10 minutes of your life, but I'm really happy I watched this one :) Greetings from Ottawa.

[@pmh1nic]

I've so much enjoyed your videos and the limited opportunities to hear you play. You have been an encouragement to me and to my granddaughter who picked up her flute for the first time in three years (after playing for eight years). She was helping me get started and after we had our lesson we watched your video on your embrouchure crisis. She comment that you had such a wonderful attitude about sharing your fears and weaknesses even though you were an expert player. I'm experienced enough to know that I will never be the best at this or that. I strive to be the best in the areas I've been gifted in and happy when the expression of that gift is appreciated by others. It's nice to be complimented by your peers, especially those you know are better then you. But I've also learned not to take correction given by those that are better than me in a certain area and allow it to diminish my sense of self-worth. Those areas of correction at this point are things most people would never notice and are only meaningful to those that have reached an advanced level. The fact that I still have areas where I can improved doesn't diminish my ability to help the vast majority of people that are at a beginner or intermediate level. I listened to you do a review of two flutes. In my opinion what you produced from both was absolutely beautiful. O.k., so I'm not at level where I could dissect the finer points of why you considered one flute better than the other in certain areas. You explained it but I still didn't understand it. I'd like to become a more refined listener but I hope I never reach the point where the focus on those things becomes so great that I couldn't appreciate what you did with both instruments.

[@sianarubio4360]

I'm weird I like being the worst. there's too much pressure for being the best and I also getta celebrate over the lil things that others take for granted.

[@peytonhawkins486]

I feel this 100% - it's just like getting used to being terrified of performing all the time, the only way to get over it is to keep performing. being terrified of performing, being terrified of not being good enough - why are us musicians so terrified all the time?! i agree that it's a good thing though, if we're scared it means we care, and if we care we'll always try to keep working harder and to improve.

[@MarauderSpark57]

I am about to enter my freshman year of college in less than a month and as time has been passing this summer I find myself becoming more anxious and scared about music school. I have had discussions with so many musicians about their experiences in music school and no matter who I talk to everyone seems to paint this horrible picture of what music school is like. Not a single person has told me the positives or rewards that come with majoring in music. These people that I have talked to range from current music students to music educators and performers, many with much credibility. What are the positives of music school? What makes it worth your time? What makes it fulfilling? What is it that gets musicians through the apparent hell that music school is? But most importantly, how do I overcome the feelings of anxiety and sometimes dread of entering music school based on what I have been told by others?

[@alysmith9814]

THIS! I'm also entering music school this fall.. And scared out of my mind!

[@cesaosales]

Victoria Blalock I see you are scared, calm down breath and enjoy the Ride... I think college has a lot of theorical disciplines and with a little time I have to keep my flute playing up to date and do my part-time job and clean the house and be happy with my wife. I really know what I have to practice but the time is really short and sometimes my results are not the best I can and I perfectly understand what's going on. It is insane but its exciting and we are not alone, get together with your coleagues and go on in this amazing journey through the scientific way of studying music.

[@BlissBJD]

This video may be old but I wanted to contribute. I've only been learning Clarinet for 3-4 months now and I recently joining the local band as my friend asked me to. There's so much I don't know how to play and sight reading is hard enough and I felt very discouraged and upset but I realised that yes, I can only get better. I'm still just a baby woodwind, of course I can't play like my Grade 8 friend. I took the music home and have been practising A LOT because I'm motivated to improve. While feeling like a bad player saddens me greatly in a lesson or band, once my mind settles, I get super inspired! Learning is fun :)

[@Sunkuwong]

I learned I sucked when I moved schools and everyone was so much better than me, so when I moved schools again I just knew I sucked, especially since I was in middle school and everyone in my band was in high school, so I kept telling my director I wasn’t good enough to be in that ensemble, so she made me audition for all county honors band, and surprise I got in and now I don’t know if I am good, bad, or decent god help me

[@Flautist_km]

Thank you for making this video!! This made me feel so much better since I am currently in music school.

[@erinwarwick7343]

Thank you so much for posting this.

[@ranhill62]

In your music school scenario, you were not BAD, just UNREFINED.

[@HippitusHoppitus]

this makes me feel happy

[@adamsymborski6920]

Just stumbled on your channel. Pretty great stuff here. I'm auditioning for grad school (violin performance) this Dec and I'm nervous af, but I think I'm just now realizing the stuff you described in this vid. Keep it up!

[@alisaflute]

you're great! X) I can relate to your story SO well! I found it SO hard to accept any critique during music uni times which made me super sensitive and in the end rather unproductive which THEN led to a lot of hard moments and even dropped my career for few years... So you're right!!!! as good or bad a you are... EMBRACE it and just keep working on it! subscribed!!!

[@vimoomoo2870]

Because of my father I had to use all of my money to buy a Yamaha 200ad it’s gorgeous and it was only 175$ but last year I kicked myself off the Orchestra team I was a cello. I was told I couldn’t do Band next year. So my dad was gonna but it!! But he skipped my birthday 2 years in a row but I keep trying my flute and I absolutely adore it and you. Bye!

[@clairejohnes4524]

I first realized that I wasn't the best in my section during our sectionals at a select band concert. I was one of the youngest in the room, and I went in feeling rather confident. But as the sectional went on, I realized that even some of the people who were my age had better tone quality, air control etc. I felt really crappy and almost wanting to quit. (*gasp*) But I kept at it, and with the help of my instructor and of course these videos, I became better. Sure, I'm still not the best, but I know that one day if I keep trying hard, I will be. Thanks for these tips! 👍

[@musicalescapism]

Brilliant. Thank you for this 🙂

[@derektai3758]

On the topic of embrochures, I was wondering if you had a few tips. I've played the flute for a few years now but I still notice that sometimes my tone is airy. In the last two years; it's been a constant source of frustration for me (it's a sporadic phenomenon) and I've been trying to fix my embrochure without much success. It's not to say that I can't play "crisply" (if that makes sense :P), it's just my tone isn't as crisp as I'd like it to be.

[@davidmontequin2034]

Hi Joanna, I was wondering if you could do a video talking about why some (definitely not all) people don't consider music teachers real teachers. I'm starting an undergrad in Music Education in the fall and every time I see family friends and they ask what I'll be studying I tell them Music Ed and they always react with an, "Oh, so do you want to be "like" a teacher," or "Oh education? So what do you want to teach other than the music class?" Even when I was in high school everyone would always say things like, "Oh Mr. so and so's wife is a teacher and he's a band director," or, "Do you want to be a teacher or a band director?" It's kind of made me wonder why people don't accept band/choir/orchestra directors or private instructors to be teachers too. I know no one really means any harm or condescension and I don't know if you have ever really dealt with this issue but I was interested to hear your thoughts on this. Thanks, David! :)

[@sleepy-sheepy6517]

This is me at all my times. I’m in a constant state of “I’m awful”

[@marchabuyuan-llanes684]

This video helped me a lot Joanna, thanks so much ^_^

[@bordercollienerd]

This video was awesome. I have auditions coming up in my first week of school. I'm going to be a sophomore in high school and I made it into our higher band. I was placed in 2nd chair by our old music director but we're going to have a new teacher this year. Last year I was first chair in our concert band, though everyone told me I should have auditioned for the higher band including the girls in the higher band. It's weird when everyone tells you your awesome, including your directors when you don't believe it.

[@mercyhallman3378]

I’m a senior in high school and while right now I might be one of the best sopranos at my school, I know all of that will change when I get to College (assuming any music programs accept me, my first audition is a week from tomorrow). I know I’ll become an underdog and it’ll feel weird and I’m ready, but simultaneously very nervous. However I can’t wait to further my musicianship in higher level education :)

[@xilovemusicx11]

could you maybe make a video of different breathing exercises? like i feel bad saying this but since its summer i havent practiced my flute as much and i feel like my air support has gotten pretty bad. what do you do after not playing for awhile? thank u for being an awesome youtuber and flautist ♡

[@SCtv-f1g]

wow such a useful video

[@NoodleyBits]

I think we all have good days and we have bad days. I have some days at rehearsal where I couldn't play a B flat major scale to save my life and there are days when I could play a full concerto. Recently I pinched a finger in a folding ladder and the tip has been numb and tingly for a few weeks. It always seems to get worse on band nights and I can't feel if I'm covering the hole in the key, so every once in a while, I blow and get no note. So...I plugged the hole until the numbness and tingling stops.

[@richardwilliamsmusic]

Very great points!

[@robertcalcote5730]

Enjoyably entertaining lessons....thank-you.....do you have lessons on a dvd for sale?

[@JustAnotherFlutist]

You can find me on Curious.com! I have full courses on there! Just search for "justanotherflutist" :)

[@JustAnotherFlutist]

You can find me on Curious.com! I have full courses on there! Just search for "justanotherflutist" :)

[@magicmonkichi]

love all your vids! Could you talk about double/tripple tongue? I've never been able to get the hang of it.

[@dylantharp87]

As a bassoonist, I know of a lot of different double tonguing videos pertaining to the bassoon, and the concept is the same on the flute. Eryn Oft has done 2 I believe, Terry B Ewell has done an entire series for double tonguing, and I believe that Kristin Wolfe Jensen has done a video in her music and the bassoon series

[@magicmonkichi]

Thanks ~!

[@incoherentmuttering5926]

Im very bipolar with this concept, cuz sometimes im very confident in my ability and other times i feel that im the worst

[@christian6262]

I found it out when I saw a 9 year old play flight of the bumblebee on KZbin her name was Emma He

[@Nicholas971106]

Will you be at the NFA convention in August?

[@AMBFRIENDSFOREVER2144]

can you make a video about why your keys sometimes stick on a pycalio or flute?

[@anhhuydo7147]

During middle school, I always found myself motivated to practice flute so that I could impress my teachers and friends. It was oddly strange that I would be extremely motivated to practice just because I wanted people who have no experience in music or flute to compliment and praise me. I don't know if these motivations are odd or normal, but it was able to motivate me enough to practice music kids my age normally wouldn't work towards. Most kids my age had "normal" motivations like to get better and to get into a certain band or orchestra, but I practiced for compliments. You could've called me a fisher flutist. Luckily, I have moved on from my narcissistic ways. Were there any motivations you had as a young flutist? Did you admire an older musician and wanted to get to their level of playing, or did you practice to get attention from your instructor or even your crush? What were your goals back then, and do you still work towards them or have you reached them? Motivation to practice is something all musicians struggle to find, but I always found it fascinating that many musicians had many different kinds of motivation.

[@anhhuydo7147]

You can play a drinking game with how many times I say motivation! XD

[@kommentiererin1792]

In 7th/8th grade my motivation to practise was my orchestra teacher who I had a crush on. I wanted to get attention from her. In the beginning it worked but later I realized what her bad character traits are and I didn't want to see her anymore. So I tried to get out of school orchestra which was really difficult. She wanted to keep me because I was the best cellist. (how come? :D) After that I went to a better orchestra where I realized, that I suck. After some months (!) I realized that I can learn from the other people... So now I nearly forgot my crush from 7th grade and practise 1) because I really LOVE music and can't live without it 2) to become better compared to the people in my orchestra so that I soon won't be the worst cellist anymore. :D

[@elineelgesem7795]

Can you do a video on tips to learn to play with an open-holed flute?

[@breathsight6481]

Did you try playing a Bamboo Flute?

[@tahafadul3744]

I am from Sudan I have a Nickel Flute its sound not nice like others original one, please advise me what flute should i buy? for the next time. and from where can i buy it.

[@MrAdrianaangel]

I played slow so I got an app that can speed up a music track. I wanted to sound fast and professional. After I paid $2 for the app, I found that my confidence increased, I could play faster and that I didn't need the app. Go figure.

[@jacobolopez4233]

You should do a video with your flute students

[@justanotherpiccplayer3511]

Well I didn't get into our sixth form (last 2 years of school so from 16-18) orchestra because apparently grade 8 distinction "isn't good enough" so yeah it's fair to say I have confidence issues...

[@RicHaw41]

Youre a great motivation to me:)

[@bojovasvetluska3272]

Wow... that was inspiring!

[@dirkboriskestel8499]

...hahaha,- you are so cute: "if you are bad you have a lot of potential to develop"..... :-))) But you are sooooo right!!! Recognizing that you are not the best means already something! You are conscious enough to realize that you can do better! If you are able to switch your mind to see the positive and develop your own vision of your goals instead of comparing yourself with other and then judging yourself as being "bad": it's prizeless!!! That's where real professionalism starts!!! Then it is also much easier to accept critics, take them positiv and!!! sort the usefull ones from the useless ones... Thanks for your experiences and this video...

[@txsphere]

So you have talked about feeling like you do not practice as much as you should, however you seem to be fairly successful growing as a flutist, can you tell us your practice techniques that seem to work for you?

[@catherinewhitaker3425]

I'm still on my flute I've had since 4th grade and I'm going into 11th. The last 2 years, I've gotten into all county band, and all these other flutists had such nice open-holed, b-foot joint flutes. I felt great that I had gotten in, but anytime I would go into rehearsal, I would feel like I was not nearly as good as the other flutists around me. I had gotten 6/10th chair, but I felt like the 7th through 10th chairs should've been above me. Most of them also took private lessons, a thing I can't afford. When I go back to my own school band, I get praised and people think I'm really super good, so when I was in All county my freshman year, I was like "WHOA WHAT WOW I SUUUUCK LOL"

[@huntartist2981]

you've played since 4th grade, your so lucky, if I had only started then maybe I could play the chaminade,I can only play about half of it right now. I've only been playing flute for about 5 years and I really wish I had found flute sooner because I love it 💗🎶

[@catherinewhitaker3425]

+hunt arts Oh I haven't tried playing yet so lol

[@huntartist2981]

+Catie Monroe? I still have a lot of work to do my 16th notes sound so fuzzy in some parts I probably won't get it right until I have a couple more years of practice😊 I only decided to try and learn this piece because it's my favorite concerto

[@catherinewhitaker3425]

+hunt arts Well wish you luck :) I'm sure there are things you can find to work on 16th notes

[@kiaraeijo]

Don't feel bad about not being able to afford lessons.. I was just like you when I was in high school and I did honor bands, solo and ensemble, went to a summer music camp before my senior year and people in my high school especially my high school praised me for doing these things. My tip is to take the compliments. :)

[@analuisaguimaraes6088]

Love this video

[@JustAnotherFlutist]

Seventh. D:

[@kaylapeckham6755]

Well you tried right😂

[@hyperman581]

Your the best flutist ever

[@arrowwhiskers]

I think it's not so important to be the best, as much as to simply do the thing you do. In my work I often feel like I am the least qualified engineer in the room, and in brutal self-aware honesty, I often probably am. But I tell myself: I AM an engineer, and I AM in the room. That isn't nothing. The decision to keep going matters a lot. Plus, being among others who are more qualified also means you are best positioned to learn, a privileged position in my opinion.

[@Joseph-oy9er]

What books would you recommend for beginning flutists?

[@matthewlin754]

The Trevor Wye Omnibus edition is the most economical choice. A bunch of books combined into one giant one. It has over 200 pages and professionals still use it as part of their daily practice routine.

[@Joseph-oy9er]

Matthew Lin Ok thanks

[@JustAnotherFlutist]

Can confirm. That is my flute bible!!

[@harrywing7221]

plz make I teach my mom how to play the flute 6 ☺

[@ZeNCantSnipe]

6:35 lol how long have you been waiting to say that?

[@xinng4738]

Do you play piccolo?

[@jennguyen4549]

Yay

[@paulhallart]

I'm sure there's a nuance of the flute that you and others are extremely good at. It's just that the music itself is so primitive. When the academics noted flaws, it may have been that they themselves were in a stilted frame of mind that tended to pander to the amusement of shallow audiences. There is a certain preoccupation with perfectionism that tethers the performer to realms of gratification in place of those of discovery ...

[@hyperman581]

Messi gonzales como cava

[@mariajaimes8838]

My dream wen i wase 3wase the flute

[@daisydagohoy9315]

Could you do a video on practicing music without getting bored

[@samantharaymond8849]

What do we do about the musicians who act like they are better than you? Or make it obvious that they play better than you?

[@Borderlands2lova]

24th? 😂

[@eduardocastellanos2161]

9th!!!

[@jaysonpadilla9063]

Second

[@zacharycoronado6749]

First