Rhod Gilbert - Things You Should Never Say to Your Girlfriend

#RhodGilbert on taking a cheap flight to Montreal, growing up in Wales, and how his last relationship ended.
#RhodGilbertStandUp from the #JustForLaughs Festival in 2005.
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Just For Laughs is the world’s premiere destination for #standupcomedy. JFL produces the world’s largest and most prestigious comedy event every July in Montreal, as well as annual festivals in Toronto and Sydney. On this channel, you will find comedic clips from some of the most legendary comedians in the business: Chris Rock, Bill Burr, Kevin Hart, and more. We also feature stand-up from newcomers such as John Mulaney, Bo Burnham, and Amy Schumer. If you just want to laugh, you’re in the right place.

[@nirfz]

Honestly my first thought was "what's with the bike lock?" 😂

[@willjones6369]

A few years ago I met Rhod Gilbert and Ellis James at my uncles wedding because they were all friends from school and he tried to pay me 50 quid to knock over the wedding cake

[@hayreddinbarbarossa661]

Yep, sounds like Rhod.

[@heathersoares186]

You should have asked for money up front

[@cmarq817]

Did you knock it? 😃

[@misterc5783]

Rhod is 53 and Ellis 41. Interesting school.

[@peterbakpetersen4942]

Or maybe a car

[@chuckwalker5663]

Love this guy, saw his performance of the same bit in Australia and the audience was losing it with laughter.

[@bewareofsnow]

I saw him at the Motorpoint in Cardiff and at one point I actually thought I was going to die laughing.

[@TK-yh4hn]

This dude is hilarious and smart. Perfect timing with his pauses.

[@pipellis6672]

“You’ll never forget your first DRY dream” brilliant.

[@phoebejones2070]

I remember seeing this the first time round it was hilarious I am glad he has done so well.

[@RIXRADvidz]

things to never say to your GF. ''Hello, My name is Rhod Gilbert''

[@ianstewart9487]

Love Rod Gilbert. See him live in dubai many years ago. Top top guy!

[@purechaos454]

Back when ‘does my butt look big in this’ was a completely different question than in 2020

[@muskokamike127]

with the way women are packing it on these days it's all relative now. It's not a question of does it look big, that's a given, it's HOW big does it look? lol THAT is the real question that she should be asking hehehehe

[@jocomfiresin6982]

No man should ever answer this question with no. Always answer with an enthusiastic yes. Your goal is to get creepy and passionate. The creepier and more passionate about the size of her ass you are the better. It's not about belaying insecurity but instilling pride. You shouldn't help someone get over their insecurities by denying them but making them think it's a trait that makes them sexy. At least that's what I go with and hey... worst case scenario she'll just be creeped out more then feel bad and I'd say that's better then letting a woman continue to feel bad about their own body. Also it's best to lie as little as possible in relationships cause trust is what any and every relationship is built on if you don't have trust it'll never last no matter how much you love one another. If you need to lie about her ass size to be creepy and passionate you might be dating the wrong person... I mean it's not everything but you should be attracted to your partner. You can however be brutally honest with family members and platonic friends because it's not your job to make them feel better about themselves and lying would only set them up for disappointment and more insecurity. I phrased this like advise but it's just how I'd do things and I'm antisocial and bad with people so maybe definitely don't take this as advice lol

[@tarahalfbubbleoff]

Outrageously funny! Nothing but love ♥

[@brendarua01]

Brilliant! I'm wiping tears. More! More1

[@josephephriam352]

I'm pretty sure I packed more than rhis....🤣🤣😍🔥 too funny.

[@frowningJoker]

Rhod's sense of humour is unique, he's a very intelligent guy

[@TallinnTadgh]

brilliant set, so original

[@Jesse__H]

I've stalked some right weirdos 😂

[@ThatHoodlum19]

Seriously good. What a set!

[@dallasreid7755]

He's made a career out of that one baggage sketch

[@mizofan]

and telling the truth on Would I Lie to You?

[@pipellis6672]

Dallas Reid try listening to his Iraq joke

[@wfcoaker1398]

And a mince pie.

[@sneakinggodzilla6328]

You're not terribly bright, are you?

[@concofps]

I love how hes made improvements to it over the years tho

[@Kev80ification]

I love this guy!!!!

[@timwodzynski7234]

Or the one where he is on the train and he goes to the buffet car and the argument he has about the cheese and pickle sandwich.

[@walkernick86]

one of my fave bits of comedy that sandwich skit!

[@soundactivationmeditations259]

Very cool set - nice to see someone with they’re own unique style - not trying to copy every other comedian

[@kimholland9316]

Loved his take on a hoover with several power settings, including 0. Cant find it anywhere

[@waalex11]

Looks like an 80's grandpa of Thor.

[@TheHoldenmcgroin]

"Have you left it unattended at anyy point?".... YES< When I gave it to YOU GUYS!....

[@timwodzynski7234]

His jokes about the toggle rating and the one about the light of ten thousand candles.

[@KingDomsKingdom85]

WHAT'S A TOG?! How do i know how many togs i want when i don't even know what a tog is!!!

[@FSM..]

@@KingDomsKingdom85 I think I too want some of these togs. But what if I don't like them.

[@flipper2392]

He must be a sales peoson's nightmare. The washing machine, I'll just give these clothes a pre wash before I wash them, I'll delay the start in case I change my mind.

[@stevej1154]

Prop comedy at its finest. Rhod is a master.

[@drk321]

Deft, expert delivery. A rare talent.

[@mreckes9967]

I think the "little bird on your back" comment went way over most peoples heads. The first time I ever saw Rhod on here he was doing the long version of that luggage joke, I've been a huge fan ever since.

[@bionicspazmo4530]

I disagree mate. I'm not trying 2 be an arse either. Respectfully disagree though . .... take it easy and never run with scissors

[@victorbryant10]

I thought that was the funniest line of all, cracked me up

[@nicosmind3]

Got to be honest I didn't get it either, I was thinking Mary Poppins, or a bird purching on her ass. Wasn't sure what he was getting at

[@Mloyer]

I absolutely adore him...

[@MARYANNE269]

My husband see Rod Today at a BP garage on London, He said 'Alright n Rod said' Alright back.. Top bloke 👌🤣

[@drshrimppuertorico8894]

Dude looks like a mix of Vince from the fast and the furious and former England cricketer Kevin Pietersen

[@McKavian]

Is it me, or does he have a Billy Connolly vibe?

[@tjteknik1]

Very much so... Love it!

[@joshsheffsagain4662]

Classic!! 👍👍👍

[@Trikeboy2]

Is this the first time he did the baggage joke? His delivery is a little off. He got the timing down as he has performed it over the years.

[@roychengyouzhe]

Simon Cowell and Chris Hemsworth gave birth

[@Goblin1986p]

if you havent seen him in the show Taskmaster, you need to watch it. Hes genius in that show.

[@McLoven-vm1ck]

Sorry but there's a little bird on your back 🤣

[@muskokamike127]

"look at you, you're not even listening" "huh, did you say something"? That actually happened to me lol....it did NOT end well! hahaha One time my last gf called me up on the phone and I forgot to turn the sound down on my computer and she heard the ding when I won at microsoft solitaire lolol......"YOU'RE PLAYING SOLITAIRE WHILE I'M POURING MY HEART OUT TO YOU"????!!!????!!! oops lol She was rambling on about how the women in her store couldn't decide on the colour of yarn to buy and when she got home, her recycling bins were upside down and the newspaper was wet and....blah blah blah.....not the most riveting topics heheheh

[@TRayTV]

The luggage bit reminds me a bit of the one-legged Tarzan skit.

[@drmorqWarrenProject]

yes... its not the dress... good stuff here.. thanks

[@vicvic1531]

Lord Baelish is quite funny.

[@ETIENNE8100]

Brilliant

[@jones8041]

Excellent. *Mr. Burns finger pyramid*

[@AntiTheist_Atheist]

There's way too many ads on KZbin now. Taking the piss

[@MaDxTiinGzZ]

download the adblocker extension off of the chrome store

[@billyb5059]

I agree

[@AntiTheist_Atheist]

@@MaDxTiinGzZ thanks for the advice man, problem solved! 👍

[@ISI.O]

Pay for prenium bro

[@jaymajor7077]

He very funny man l like Rob he makes me laugh so very much l like the one scech were he's toking about the trane Sean with samwig egg an cree sandwich l'm sure you all know that one don't you

[@michaelwargo5301]

Like him

[@anvil_and_ink]

I sat next to Rhod on a flight from Majorca to the airport we were going to. We both got to the airport. It was a safe flight. The end.

[@janakumlec5363]

hahahahahahah I lived 10 years in London ( as a Welsh person) haven't met anyone yet, haven't spoken to anyone. I haven't made any friends...I stalked a few people.....hahahahhahaha Absolutely hilarious sketch......I could not stop laughing.

[@iainhewitt]

Rhod appears to be a bloke who became a comic completely by accident...

[@guydouglas6094]

That was good.

[@Christian988.]

*chuckles*

[@judithblades5578]

ahhh I saw another stand up guy do this exact same suitcase skit...wonder who ripped off whom???

[@CreamAle]

Given that this is 15 years old, and rhod is a pretty reputable guy.. I'd stick to coincidence at least

[@riasingh160]

It's so hilarious n funful.

[@vmwindustries]

OMFG! The girl at 1minute is gorgeous 😍!

[@garyodle5663]

Yes, I checked. Yes, she is.

[@strangedays4]

Yeah the one on the far left, I agree

[@muskokamike127]

French Canadian women....I dated one for 5 years and we'd go to Montreal and QC and it was hard on the eyes trying not to look and get caught lol......

[@muskokamike127]

Just for clarification, it's at :50 on my computer.

[@nathelondon3719]

Hilarious

[@rbeygarcia]

Off night for him. I’d never seen his timing be so off before. He seemed to be in the grip of some sadness he couldn’t hide. This is NOT how he delivers this bit. Seen it a thousand times in other appearances he’s done. I wonder what happened before he went on. Poor baby. I just wanted to give him a hug.

[@barnesj0007]

The Man is funny!

[@Andrew-qo6br]

The video missed the subject of things you should never say to you girlfriend. Click bait?

[@Bigbadwhitecracker]

You're gonna tell your gf she has a massive bum?

[@frasercampbell3297]

Funny

[@sillysausage2244]

I find him ridiculously attractive... 🤔

[@mercedesgalan1941]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@piedpiper1697]

Some new uploads would be good

[@garethwilliams5809]

Poor Sian

[@austinfull8941]

Rhod is a legend

[@paulmatkin7392]

I used to write for rhod ...

[@andycontento3563]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@caseymartin1053]

How old is he here?

[@TheTruthKiwi]

37 :)

[@Dreic]

Dont have a girlfriend but I still find it funny😂

[@faptainamerica9049]

Carrot Top should take a note or two on prop comedy from this gentleman.

[@vipanda66]

U tube is advertising on this video's thumbnail. I am blocking this channel.

[@EdelweisSusie]

Love him - but this video didn’t make me laugh once. He’s much funnier on WILTY, particularly when he’s on David Mitchell’s team.

[@davidstuart4915]

....hmmmmm...been wanting Rhod back doing his infamous rants for ages...unfortunately....using same material, and de ranting performance is exactly the wrong (lazy) formula....come on Rhod...you are wayyy better than this :)

[@tuumification]

This performance was from 2005. Are you saying that he is still using this gag today?

[@davidstuart4915]

@@tuumification ooooppss, thought it was a much later re hash - much more ponderous and toned down version of the earlier - he is only really great when he loses it ;)

[@davidstuart4915]

@Alan Cogan ...as u criticise me you mean?.... grow up

[@davidstuart4915]

@Alan Cogan and i was critising you for criticising me for 'critising' my mate Rhod..

[@davidstuart4915]

...just to break this cycle - fear not, I am a huge fan of Rhod and u will find my appeals for new regular slots called Rhods Rants around the net - there is just a world full of material right now....and not enough tog ratings, mice pies, last sandwich, award winning mince pies sketches to feast on :)

[@robevans5507]

the luggage one was rubbish he tells it much better on the apollo

[@hunterG60k]

Showing his age making jokes about when girls wanted smaller bums

[@KingDomsKingdom85]

I don't get the new fascination with women wanting bigger arses personally... but I'm getting old so don't get alot of the new fads 😂🤷‍♂️

[@michaelcolbourn6719]

This is very old lol

[@deanroberts2415]

He didn’t have his full accent here

[@jamiefallon6528]

And now girls want big bums 😂

[@gregforse2563]

Sad Rhod? I like frantic Rhod better

[@jefffritts68]

DONT EVER ASK YOUR GF TO DO HER SISTER FOR YOU....LOL i tried like hell and they wouldnt do it (even after i had been with both of them lol )

[@muskokamike127]

I guess you've never heard of "The rodeo screw"? That's where you're doing her from behind and you lean forward and whisper in her ear "your sister likes it this way too" and then you try and hold on for 8 seconds lol......

[@jefffritts68]

@@muskokamike127 ya lol back then i owned those two and they were smokin hot. believe me i pushed it to the limit. good times :)

[@JeffW2000]

@@jefffritts68 Then your mom woke you up for breakfast and you realized you don't have a gf.

[@kasnhasn]

He looks like off brand David Beckham

[@anchorheavenonearth]

This is an old Bill Hick's bit from the 90's. SMH

[@stevemorris3710]

Very environmentally conscious to recycle an act for so long.

[@davidedwards3361]

He is funny...the first time. But when your routine revolves around the same 2 or 3 stories, then it quickly becomes less funny and races into boring.

[@J.L.Media.]

Live him but is he adjusting himself to suit the Canadian audience? Normally he’s much more high energy.

[@kak44n]

I've never really found him funny

[@eyey5476]

You should see him in "task master"

[@emmabennett7699]

@@eyey5476 that's where I found him. I was not prepared for his chaotic energy.

[@richtreppa2562]

Boring and didn’t even make me chuckle

[@Queef_Storm]

What's the outro music? I'm in love with it

[@mrsmith7936]

not once did i laugh, didnt even smile