KEN READS | EPISODE 5: FEAR OF COMMITMENT

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Ken Reid

Күн бұрын

Пікірлер: 31

@The_whimsical_avoidantcope 3 ай бұрын

Ken puts out the the best content in this area. I always look forward to his lives/long form videos

@thealphabetist 3 ай бұрын

„You did the best you could, given the circumstances“ That’s something I need to remind myself of again and again, I still blame myself for so many things. I tend to forget the inexplicable, often almost bizarre behaviour I was subjected to, all the contradictory statements, the huge dissonance between words and actions. Who can remain grounded and calm through all of this?

@captaingregg1222 3 ай бұрын

So true. Sometimes I have to remind myself too, not blaming me for my husbands bullshit and his behavior. You can't change another person, but you can work on yourself and how you respond to this. But it takes time...❤

@thealphabetist 3 ай бұрын

@@captaingregg1222 Exactly. It’s easier once you know what’s going on, it helps to not take it personally, but I don’t know if the permanent insecurity with them ever gets better, especially if they don’t communicate openly.

@poekiepoes 3 ай бұрын

When I see the labels “stoic, sarcastic or lone wolf” on the dating apps… I swipe left as fast as I can!

@SherriFlemming 2 ай бұрын

Indeed. Next!

@jdprettynails 3 ай бұрын

I want to emphasise how much I love the title of these segments. It’s perfect.

@AttachmentTheory-oo2ds 3 ай бұрын

Everytime I watch one of these videos, I always think "were we all dating the same exact person??!!" LOL. Avoidants have come pretty cookie cutter traits, it seems. Obviously there is SOME variation between them, but a lot of core stuff seems to be so so common between them. I learn so much from each of these videos! Although its not foolproof, it makes it much easier to spot the smaller red flags in future partners!

@SherriFlemming 2 ай бұрын

Same person. Different body. Indeed. Spoting red flags early on is key.

@donnamccartney4414 3 ай бұрын

Glad I found your channel. You have helped a lot. You're very knowledgeable. Thank you

@RainFall-wz2yp 4 күн бұрын

As you turn to God in prayer, know that you are being divinely led to the people and situations that bring you joy. Through God's gentle, loving guidance, you connect--heart-to-heart--with people whom you can share common goals and activities and build lasting relationships. I envision you as happy and fulfilled. I invite you to speak the following affirmation as we pray together: "I am divinely guided to the person who will bless my life in wonderful ways and to whom I can be a blessing."

@Binny2014 3 ай бұрын

What percentage of avoidants love bomb? Had a 4 time situationship (discarded abruptly every time by text) with what seems like a textbook avoidant but there was never any love bombing.

@jdimon8717 3 ай бұрын

Even if they have never love-bombed you before, If 4 years or more go by and they need to start ALL over again looking for you and not knowing anything about where you are or whether you will reply to them, they can very well love bomb you (even if they never have done so in the past and especially if they are deactivating from another relationship) because this is the only way they can prove to you that they have "changed." ..and it's also a way to "chase after a new feeling." Sometimes it depends how you react when they reach out to you again that sets the tone for their love -bombing.

@hunpersephone4233 3 ай бұрын

Thank you for the upload!

@anothercat9600 3 ай бұрын

Again, I think we should multidate, act busy, hardtoget until one of them proves sincere with their commitment, then choose him. Avoidants should only be one of the suitors competing for your attention. That way they can't even tell you they are hesitant or uncertain because you won't even have time to hear it.

@SherriFlemming 2 ай бұрын

By multi dating isn't it rather avoidant and exhausting? Juggling. Not spending consistent time with one person, getting to know them to discern for compatibility? Hard to get will attract toxic people.

@MoonGoddessOracle 3 ай бұрын

Thank you ❤

@Musicisthelanguageoflove 2 ай бұрын

Disinterested in kissing, doesn't feel much from it, I was told, not tried to perform it, heaven forbid. Holding hands seems totally horrifying to them, makes them feel very uncomfortable. Sexual interest is very much in other "only external" forms than complete intamate joining as "one, inside"..... Is this classic physical non intamatcy capability of an extreme dissmisive avoidant man?. PS. He is deffinatly addicted to only work and career advancement as his escape and distraction.

@mrdangeruss29 3 ай бұрын

For the algo! Thanks Ken!

@NS-uq9st 3 ай бұрын

Narcissistic personality also has a bad childhood, why intention is making any difference when avoidants are causing equal harm in faster speed as narcissist...both are same

@kenreid892 3 ай бұрын

No they’re not and we need language to discern both groups to give proper treatment for those on the receiving end of these as they’re not always the same. Just as liver issues can be similar to diabetes doesn’t mean we prescribe the exact same treatment for either of them.

@SherriFlemming 2 ай бұрын

Narcissists are more intentionally malicious.

@TransplantTalks-Podcast 3 ай бұрын

Love your content. One random thing - OCD isn't usually related to developmental trauma. That belief stems from old psychoanalytic theories. OCD is actually the psychiatric disorder with the most known genetic contribution to it's etiology, i.e., it has a very strong neurobiological basis.

@kenreid892 3 ай бұрын

That’s true but rOCD isn’t connected to traditional OCD. According to books on rOCD it has more to do with developmental trauma.

@TransplantTalks-Podcast 3 ай бұрын

@kenreid892 I think maybe those books are outdated? Or maybe just not in line with the current evidence base. We think of rOCD as just another subtype of OCD, similar to contamination OCD or harm OCD or pOCD, etc. (I'm a psychiatrist and medical director of the OCD Program at the University of Colorado Anschutz).

@kenreid892 3 ай бұрын

Not according to the 2022 book I read on rOCD. I’ve done trainings involving IFS for treating rOCD trauma informed approaches do appear to work on clients with this experience. Nevertheless, I appreciate there’s a lot of evolving research coming out on this and perhaps I’m lacking all the relevant and up to date information.