Why I Was Fat / My Struggles With Food

Talking about my issues with food and how I got to be 255 pounds via binge eating - and where I am with my relationship with food now.
I wanted to make this video as an eventual prequel to my weight loss journey video and to talk a bit more about why I would even want to spend so much time researching behavioural change/ obesity.
Ps. I have very few good pics of me overweight, so I'm saving them for my Weight Loss Journey video LOL.
Hope you guys like it! xoxo
~*~
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[@salsathemonkey22]

The whole "Binge one day fast the next" thing hit so close to home

[@Bertuzz84]

Yeah that aint gonna happen when your a junkfood addict.

[@bec1290]

Literally I did the same thing it was so destructive :( Fortunately though I'm recovering from my fucked up relationship with food and although its been hard and I have bad days I feel so much more fulfilled when I eat normally, not even mentioning the weight that I've lost.

[@jamesanderson6373]

*you're

[@alexissanchez1251]

Hope things get better..Same, here..it is a life choice and habit. In a great relationship, maybe some past emotional trauma like most people that caused it more difficult to gain control with food. I found this channel and I know know I was not ready to hear these wise words. Now, I am working on myself (took be 2 yrs to change) lost 100bls. I never thought I would step foot in a gym and commit to a streak of no junk food. IM DOING IT! I'm wishing the best for those who are struggling, have just started, or doubtful it is worth continuing the commitment of a healthy lifestyle. Thank you, for posting actively and with wise and honest insight of what why things occur in mind and body when we make these choices that we are putting in our body. 💯

[@karaleigh_eva]

It’s a form of bulimia. Such a dangerous, dangerous cycle

[@caseyjones1548]

Why I was fat: junk food is tasty

[@shmataboro8634]

KC Johnston. Why junk food is tasty: toxic flavor enhancers added to trick us into buying more and more and more.

[@afz5355]

@@shmataboro8634 yep literal addiction

[@mikeylorenzio2076]

full send hahaha

[@Memento_Mori_Morals]

@Nathan prescott because junk food is tasty? XD jk jk

[@bebekgeprek8376]

I remember them being tasty, but after changing my lifestyle now they taste really nasty, McDonald's fries tastes like rubber

[@blastification2]

The comment about eating unhealthy stuff that you don't even like that much, just because it's there, hit home for me. For me, it was plain potato chips and these mint sugar cookies. Before I started losing weight, one of the realizations I had was "This stuff isn't even that good. Why would I want to get fat over stuff that isn't that good?"

[@jenniferibarra7737]

Potato chips is the only unhealthy snack I actually love

[@WildWombats]

As an irishman, I can't resist the potato in any form, so it's a problem. I love potatoes too much. Chips, french fries, potato wedges, tater tots, hash browns, baked potato, mashed potato, sweet potato, you name it. I practically include a potato in some form in every meal. I love chips but I do try to limit myself on them. Issue is, I get a bag and it's gone way sooner than it should be lol so my solution is just don't buy it or have it. Can't have the urges if I never buy it. 😂

[@yootoob1001001]

@@WildWombats Potatoes get a bad rap.

[@annarboriter]

Bland, industrial foods don't meet the need for satiety. I think that hot sauce is an undervalued tool for moderating one's diet

[@lexynape5573]

Same

[@morningstar8187]

I lost more than 100 lbs by throwing all the genetics out of my fridge.

[@local8457]

😂 best comment ever

[@waeulbr]

Lmaooo

[@maenad1231]

Lol I wish I could like this comment twice! I totally believed my family when they said it was “my genetics”. Turns out my family was under the impression that all the junk food & fast food we bought was owned by a Megacorporation named “genetics”

[@blindedsurrealism262]

@@maenad1231 same, I've always been told that it was genetics and I would never get thin. I recently snapped out of it, and I'm glad that I snapped out of it at 13. My sister still hasn't, and is still gaining weight

[@Guts_Brando]

Lmao

[@emilymiller1458]

Weird comment but she has such a beautiful facial structure

[@私はクソな中国人です]

Beepiriboopiri

[@alchemist8309]

IKR her cheekbones are so defined

[@amols2169]

lmao u said "no homo but this girl is beautiful"

[@woofinka839]

I know right! These cheekbones and jawline *_*

[@alissiameiyer2853]

I was thinking the same damn thing,she is absolutely stunnnnning🤯👑❣

[@psark]

I don't know where else to share this but - I've lost 6 KGs in November only!! I don't want to reveal my starting weight but I'm still obese... I've got a loooooong way to go but I'm proud of myself. I feel very awkward talking about my weight but this seems like a supportive community, so I just wanted to share!

[@Kiara_Wrestler]

Congratulations!!!

[@aleksandrarakowska7109]

That's amazing, wish you best of luck :)

[@junk6318]

great job :D don't worry if you dont see results fast, it takes time, just make sure to be consistent and workout as much as you can

[@daughterofyah6209]

Congratulations!!! I wish you the best in your journey!! 💖💖💖

[@codydavenport8429]

Great job! Just please don't get discouraged when the weight loss slows down because I see it time and time again when folks are trying to lose weight. When you first start losing weight, you're body sheds a significant amount of water content in the first several weeks which can deceptively make people believe they lost that weight in fat. Lots of folks expect weight loss to continue at the same pace throughout their journey, but 6 kg/month is not sustainable for most people. Just remember that if you're burning more calories than you're consuming then you ARE losing weight. A good goal is a 500-1000 calorie daily deficit so that you're steadily losing weight but not robbing your body the energy that it needs from food, and this should result in a steady .5-1 kg/week of weight loss. If you're very obese, the deficit can be larger, but needs to get reduced as you slim down or else your muscles will atrophy. And on the subject of muscles, I STRONGLY recommend supplementing any diet with a weight training and cardio regimen. This is a marathon, not a sprint, don't let the scale discourage you, and the mirror is your friend.

[@nonaegepanhaesso]

she's like that type of a person you want to be friends with, cause she's wise and smart, and always can give you a good advice. I don't know why, just the vibe I get from her

[@afz5355]

Ah same I wanna talk to her and ask her how she got through it all like how did she stick to her plan like I could never

[@oliversmith6011]

@@afz5355 love the singing, keep it up!

[@afz5355]

@@oliversmith6011 thank you omg 😳😳😳

[@kartikasardew]

Definitely, if she were my best friend, i would, like, cherish her till the end of my life - everytime she made a video about someone else's journey, it is really fascinating to me that she, somehow, tries to discuss about the journey in objective way: i admire and respect her for it. The analysis about the journey is also full of scientific facts - like the one with elephant and the rider. This video about her, i can see the honesty about her struggle to overcome her addiction to junk foods..

[@angelkingsley5299]

Definitely, I probably wouldn’t agree with her all the time, but I would love to be her colleague.

[@rosaulnier9902]

When you said wrappers in the closet I think I went into shock. I had to pause the video for several minutes while I think I had an epiphany. The fact that my most secret shame isn't unique to me really puts things into perspective. Any time I see fat people who have lost the weight I think "well they obviously didn't have the horrific habits that I do. Hoarding garbage in my room? Yeah, I can never be like them." This is the first time in about 3 years that I've thought, maybe I can.

[@kiiabby]

I can still vividly remember my husband getting something out of my handbag and being horrified at all the wrappers and boxes in there. I felt such intense shame at the time. Now, I can look back and be really grateful that it isn't something I do any more. I might not be where I'd like just yet but my habits are changing and that's progress in the right direction.

[@mirandapanda7154]

You can do it! I used to be a secret eater (having a secret stash of candy in my room, taking cookies from the cupboard without my family knowing etcetera), but since the beginning September I've changed my eating habits. That took time and effort to be consistent with it, but since then I've lost almost 20 pounds (about 2 pounds a week)! The effort I put in is more than worth it. If I can do, you can do it too. I'm sure of it :)

[@shanahaim5935]

I do this too. I hide wrappers a lot! Sometimes I have to put them all in a bag and throw that bag into a public garbage outdoors so my husband doesn’t find it 😬

[@kiiabby]

@@shanahaim5935 recovery is possible! I'm heading towards 150 days binge free and it feels great. but I've been there, hiding wrappers and feeling shame and ugh, it is rubbish. I wish you the best in your recovery

[@drnostalgia1]

Definitely not unique experience. I also used to spend a lot of time after binging folding wrappers carefully into the smallest amount of space to shove them all into one oreo box or one brown mcdonald's bag, etc and then hide it in my bag and find a far dumbster to throw them away. It is totally bunkers while I am writing it now that I never thought I had a binging problem, that I just needed to find better ways to snack!

[@Narja23]

I so relate on the part "I couldn't have just one cookie and walk away". I'm still on that mentality now, in fact, and I'm still struggling with that. My solution is to not have at home any industrial food, no biscuit, no cookie, no pizza or that kind of thing. If one day, I really have a craving, I have to take my little feet, walk to the store which is at 30 minuts walking, and buy ONE thing. For example, today, I went to the bakery because I was hoping for a pastry. I bought one, only one, and I had to walk for it on opening hours of the bakery. It's that way I managed to regulate my tendancie to have unhealthy eating habits (and that's quite efficient, because some days I'll be like "oh, I want a cookie", and then I'll see that the bakery isn't open anymore, or the weather is so bad, or it's late in the evening, and I'll just end eating an apple or drinking a cup of tea instead ! Just vanishing industrial food and especially sweet snacks made me loose close to 50 pounds in a year, and my knees are so happy with it, because I started to have very painful aches, and i still have some of them, but it became way more frequent. I'm not anymore a type 3 obese, but I'm still an obese person by the BMI standards... and I'm working on it ! I know it's a lifetime commitment ! ) Your video is so encouraging and soothing ! thank you

[@Champitoinwonderland]

I think your strategy of walking to the store just to buy only one thing is smart and effective.

[@marcus5435]

Well done on your weight loss, you should be so happy for yourself! That first stage is the hardest and it’ll only get better from here.

[@glenmcdonald375]

Good for u! That's how I did it 30+ years ago, and I'm still following the example I set back then. The same thing that u r doing!... 👍

[@RB-ef6mw]

I would rather hv no cookie than one cookie...cause that would stimulate the tongue...BTW how does eat just one cookie ever

[@keithk2879]

Same ! I think that’s normal. Cookies are made to be bingeable. How anyone could have one and stop is crazy to me too, espies h if they’re tiny !

[@Larry]

Good for you, Ive lost about 180lbs over the past year as it was destroying my health, but I know it's not easy.

[@ujustgotpwned2008]

Hello you! Good to hear you're looking after yourself, dude.

[@Larry]

@@ujustgotpwned2008 Thanks, my motivation was not dying, so had no choice :D

[@Skett]

@@Larry nicely done Larry! We'd noticed that you'd lost a lot of weight but 180lbs is pretty damn good. Do you mind me asking what you've changed about your diet?

[@sharkus3329]

congrats man

[@maryamkabbani1001]

Holy crap that's amazing congrats!! How did u do it?

[@BrittanyGates]

I was a fat kid, fat teen, and fat adult too. I finally got serious about my weight almost 3 years ago, went on Keto, lost and kept off 90+ pounds, and I'm healthy. I broke my sugar addiction and I can eat a doughnut now without gorging on them. My mindset about food completely changed. Keep pushing, Kiana, as things get easier but it takes time.

[@free-palestine000]

How did you get started with keto? I've always been interested in trying but I've found it difficult to get started.

[@AlyssaTaylor9]

It makes such a difference when you can enjoy an occasional sugary treat without gorging!

[@Ilikebigboobies]

First time I did it, I made meals to get ready, me and my sister must've done something wrong, bc I want comfortable with the diet, my sister got the Keto flu, and I was starting to get out. My sister had moved out a few months ago, and I decided to start Keto again. I don't even have the vitamins or sugar free Gatorade now. I've been eating what I want (staying low calorie ofc) without eating the many carbs and limiting them, I haven't even gotten sick. I guess I just found alternatives, and just kinda switched from my usual calories to like 1300 calories a day, whatever is good for you though.

[@Ilikebigboobies]

Sorry about the typos. Kindles aren't fans of editing KZbin comments.

[@HappiiWheels]

You're beautiful and I'm proud of you 😘

[@psychachu]

We really gotta stop, as a society, apologising and getting embarrassed by showing emotion when we're talking about emotional things. No apology necessary. Thank you for sharing such a personal journey with us. You've helped inspire me back onto my own weight loss journey. Lost 3 stone so far (42 lbs), another 3 to go to get in that illustrious green section on the BMI chart, lmao.

[@skyking6989]

I had a terrible childhood. Alcoholic father and a cold/distant mother. Food was my comfort from stress anxiety heartbreak etc etc. Extreme emotional eater. I got help for my mental health issues and started eating better. I lost 100+ pounds. Now I eat slowly and mostly plant based. I’m way happier.

[@CorinneA3]

Congratulations on so much progress!

[@skyking6989]

@@CorinneA3 Thank you. Its a every day battle but im doing great

[@junepassingthrouthegate8810]

That is so great, I'm glad you're feeling better 🌺🌺🌺🌿🌿🌿

[@brassholio]

I'm so happy for you! I had very similar parents but instead of food it was alcohol for me. I was a fairly clean eater and worked out, but alcohol still packed on some pounds and I wasn't happy in my own skin. I got help for my mental health and went to rehab too and I'm the happiest I've been in my entire adult life. I can finally look at myself in the mirror and smile. I wish you nothing but the best.

[@skyking6989]

@@brassholio Way to go on winning your battle.

[@samherb6213]

You’re so strong to get candid in this video and tell your story! Sorry for always simping in your comment section but love you girl 💓

[@KianaDocherty]

Thank you girl 😭😭💕 I'm always happy to see you in my comment section!😘

[@dorjjodvo1992]

There is no such thing as "simping" as a girl

[@eliass596]

@@dorjjodvo1992 its a mindset, not gender bound

[@owengeo553]

@@eliass596 nah fam simp def is man treating a women like she a god and he is peasant, women can simp, but it less simping and more just being a sis fam

[@ashdoeslife1794]

Both genders simp sometimes

[@GokkunSlurpe]

I've gone from weighting over 400 pounds a few years ago down to 225 today. The part about finding meaning to those hard times really stuck with me. I spend so much time being mad at myself for all my wasted fat years instead of feeling good about where I'm at now and what I've accomplished.

[@spacecookiez67]

It can be really hard not to look at it that way, but as you already know I’m sure, try to remind yourself of the journey. You can make up for lost years by enjoying your life now and continuing your journey. You got this and there are people around you who are so proud of you. Congratulations and keep it up ❤️

[@corpsefoot758]

Better late than never, my dude. Congratulations on getting this far 🤘

[@StarlightEater]

Keep it up bro! You can do it!

[@jakeherter]

60lb heavier than me and I train six days a week

[@frogshavehats4994]

As

[@TrackpadProductions]

The best possible diet for someone is the diet that they can stay on forever.

[@paedreau1]

That's not a diet. That is a healthy lifestyle.

[@TrackpadProductions]

@@paedreau1 That... that's the point I was making?

[@atomicmeatball7264]

@@paedreau1 you do know diets aren't only temporary, right?

[@fb-iq2kp]

@@atomicmeatball7264 diet has two meanings, whilst you're right that it is temporary, restrictive possibly healthier eating, diet also just means what you eat on a daily basis. like a penguins diet is fish, doesn't necessarily mean it's temporarily trying to lose weight 😂

[@atomicmeatball7264]

@@fb-iq2kp im aware, the person i was responding to said that a diet couldn't be a healthy lifestyle

[@ohwitchplease1100]

I am literally crying right now. You just described my whole life, from the binge eating, to the binging skinny boyfriend and even the candywrappers in my schoolbag. Everything. Right now, I am in that dark place, I've wanted to make a change but have no idea where to even start. You have no idea, what an inspiration you are to me right now. If you've made it, with my similar background, then there really is hope for me too. I can not thank you enough for making this video, I really feel like I can do this. Thank you so much. Ps. If you haven't already, could you please post a video about foods you started eating in the beginning of your weight loss journey? I'd love to get some concrete ideas how to start. Thank you ❤️

[@jessicagonz]

I used to be a bigger girl and the first thing I did was eliminate all sugary drinks. The weight immediately started coming off with that small change. Then after a few months, I ate the same foods except I would eat a smaller portion of them. For example, I used to consume a soda, fries, and a burger, so I changed it up by only eating half a burger and half the fries. I would save the leftover food for my next meal! Then eventually you can start incorporating healthier foods to gradually replace the unhealthier foods. I found that changing my diet gradually worked for me and I've kept my weight off for several years and I've never had an issue with gaining my weight back. My taste buds adapted over time to enjoy healthier foods and to despise sugary foods. Good luck, you got this! Always remember that the goal is to be healthy, not skinny!!! Healthy foods that have kept me on track: (Don't make your diet restrictive, but eat unhealthy foods on rare occasions) oatmeal w/ fruits, pb2 powder, and cinnamon powder eggs w/ veggies coffee/tea (helps suppress appetite) lots of water! salmon, other fish, chicken, turkey or ground beef w/ veggies or beans or lentils greek yogurt w/ fruit and granola nuts fruits (cucumbers, apples, etc) soylent meal replacement drink almond milk instead of cow's milk avocado or almond butter toast air fried potatoes (buy an air fryer if you don't have one already!) salads w/ chicken and salsa and egg

[@stevensafwan9778]

buy greg doucette's cookbook. you'll be enjoying your weightloss.

[@AlllSmiless]

Keto is working pretty well for me so far.(even though I LLLOOOOOVVVEEE carbs!) But I'm one of those "all in" type of ppl, some may even say slightly obsessive... 👀 and I like instant gratification so I combined it with fasting. The fasting has helped because in my eating windows I'm happy to be eating so the heathy food is more appealing, and I can have more of it at once, also, keto friendly meals are pretty delicious. The results have been real nice thus far. Seeing continue results not just on the scale but also in my measurements (I take them every -10 lbs) really keeps me motivated. That and visualizing the surprise I'll get from my family when I see them during the holiday, lol I'm actually the shortest one of my siblings but also the biggest. When they see me again I'll actually be the smallest. I'm shorter and have smaller hands and feet so it's not even like I have bigger bone structure, I just had (have) alot of fat on me. Wow... I'm rambling... Anyways, something else I like to do is buy my self cute little (sometimes big) gifts when I achieve a goal. Even after just one day, when I was first starting off. My perfume, shoe, accessory, and kitchen appliances collections have grown significantly. The lockdown has helped alot actually. I'm definitely a social eater so it's been beneficial for me to not hang out with friends as much ever since I started. Before I decided to make a change because of the lockdown I was going through the drive through and eating ice cream (it's my favorite food) literally every day. No joke I put on 22lbs at the beginning of quarantine 🤯 I'd recommend checking out Dr. Mindy Pelz and her videos on keto for women. She explains how cycling in heathy carbs the week before our cycles can be beneficial. And to start at ground zero, I recommend typing into KZbin "keto for beginners" to understand the basic concept, the science behind it is actually pretty fascinating and "beginner (or easy or simple) keto recipes to see some meal options you can put together. Lastly, don't beat yourself up. Whether you try keto or paleo or anything else that you find works for you, as long as you don't give up, you haven't failed, even if you "mess up". My dad tells me that all the time when I'm have a tough time in a course or at work. Just adjust as you go, you can do it! Lastly for real, if you have disordered eating or suspect that you have an eating disorder definitely seek treatment from a licenced professional, therapy etc

[@mahimahayat4698]

@@Gingersnaps1978 same for me. not the cigarettes thing lol, but the soda thing. i ALWAYS say that i could eat healthy/a salad for the rest of my life as long as i have soda. but i always feel SO guilty about drinking it and i wanna cut it out until i get to a weight where i don't feel guilty about drinking it once in a while and i want to get at a point where i am not so addicted to it. soda's my biggest burden.

[@Gingersnaps1978]

@@mahimahayat4698 I’ve gone a couple of years at a time without having it. For me, I truly just have to go cold turkey.

[@hayleyquinnx94]

the 'high' you mention having when you eat is what I was experiencing. Turns out I had adhd and my brain was trying to find dopamine anywhere it could find, got on meds and finally managed to stick to diet and exercise. Had a day where I missed a dose in the afternoon and immediately wanted to boredom eat again bc I was tired, sad and bored without them

[@TechTchno]

omc,, I have adhd and im, like, not overweight or anything (I'm 118lbs and in the 5'5-5'6 range) but i tend to eat more on days i don't take my meds and i think it's mostly cause i end up being bored 😭 you ended up giving me an answer to something i didn't even know i was wondering about snaknskj

[@doesnotFempute]

i just started stimulants for ADHD this year. They make me ravenously hungry, which is the opposite of what my doctor said they would do... BUT! I get FULL after a small portion of food, then the food becomes extremely boring and I want to go do something else. I once found myself scraping the cheese off my broccoli casserole because my meds decided it looked yucky ... cheese, my favorite thing lol

[@maloumasereel966]

⁠@@doesnotFempute I know this side effect probably doesn’t bother you but as someone who worked with ADHD, I would advice to discuss this with your doctor because it sounds really strange!

[@Ben-zr4ho]

Imagine... Losing weight on hard amphetamines... Hard amphetamines making you focus... Hard amphetamines giving you peculiar habits... You crazy ADHD people with your reverse brains... Sarcasm.

[@BananaBoySSB]

You’re a real inspiration.

[@accentedh3131]

Loved your super smash bros tutorials man, glad to see you here.

[@luasiaimas3566]

Thanks cyan yoshi

[@pimpchimp412]

Never would have guessed to see you here @BananaBoySSB

[@SilentAttackTV]

Love your smash vids, Bananaboy. Good luck with your journey

[@beszt95]

Cool to see you here man!

[@samuelbutler5371]

I just wanted to say that I have learnt a lot from your channel. At the start of quarantine I weighed 321lbs and I knew that if I kept going I would not be able to ever get back to a normal weight. In the past 3 months I I have gotten down to 273lbs. I obviously still have a long way to go but I am dedicated and my goal is to get down to 176lbs. Keep making the great content.

[@afz5355]

Congratulations!! I’m rooting for you! You can do it!!!

[@margaretnowacka3609]

You can do it! ❤️

[@breedlejuice8691]

Hope your still on track! You are doing amazing

[@Vejitasei]

Sorry to be late to the chat, just wanted to say (as a physician) congratulations and keep on the good work. Like everything in life there will be ups and downs, but wishing you the best to stay with it. Random aside, might also want to look up David Goggins for some inspiration

[@thatgrlnellz]

great progress!!! you got this. what changed?

[@christytube1111]

I’m only a few mins in and I can relate to your story. I used to be a binge eater and I got to be 200+ lbs. I lost about 70 lbs by doing extreme diets. I never worked on my emotional issues and developed an obsession with getting fat. So my eating habits turned unhealthy and eventually I turned into a binge drinker. I replaced eating with alcohol and that because just as (if not more) problematic. I’ve been sober for over a year now, but I find myself wanting to turn to food again. I decided no more diets. I’m going to eat as healthy as I can and still exercise. I just want to live a healthy and balanced life where I can be happy and have peace of mind. I’m now turning inward and learning how to love myself so that I never feel the need to lean on food or alcohol for emotional support.

[@shreyasravi8177]

Anyone notice how her little giggles in between are the cutest thing ever?

[@laylablack6909]

Marry her

[@basmalasaad3039]

I knowww 😭 she's acc adorable I cant🥺

[@dont_talk2me]

No

[@nomorebullying1385]

I think that too lol.

[@prisillaxess7562]

Yessss

[@sazubun9405]

I think its really important to look at the "addiction" side of obesity/ binge eating. It's a eating disorder and should be treated as such. I wish you all the best Kiana, you will make it!

[@lottalove8419]

Absolutely. I feel like it sometimes does not get treated like other disorders or addictions. That is really sad. It honestly should.

[@marcus5435]

@@lottalove8419 And then when you tell people that they have some form of addiction to food, they either disagree and say you don’t understand, or they get very scared and don’t understand that in order to overcome an addiction, you first have to accept it is an addiction.

[@vladimirazubcekova7727]

@@marcus5435 but sometimes it isnt addiction

[@NathJOLY]

​@@marcus5435 tbh I only see people saying 'it s easy to lose weight, just eat less", that kind of speech is a big red flag for me (I have binge disorder singe 17, more tahn 10 years, I had 3 years where I did not binge at all cuz all was fine around me and I was occupied, but when covid came back -not the beginning but when I saw this shit was here for longer and masks were here for longer than I would want I panicked and binged a lot) . SO, when someone tells me "it s easy just dont eat that much and be disciplined", well it s not THAT easy for people who have a real eating disorder (meaning, mentally ill). Also, I know how to treat it, but it s hard when around you, things incite you to completely give up I'm pretty sure if we were in 1300 years of humanity I would be considered as fit, because I would only eat what would be available and I would work as everyone. We had no time for this before

[@jennabertoletti]

"... of getting yourself to eat healthy, of resetting your hormones, it is totally possible to come out on the other side of a food addiction or food obsession" that literally made my heart happy. like y'all know that feeling when you've eaten so well all day and you know you're not hungry but you really want that pizza in the fridge? and you almost do it but for once, you somehow choose not to? and you get that feeling almost in your heart? of like hope or something? maybe motivation? or pure happiness? that's what that sentence just made me feel. girl, your videos keep me motivated to get healthy and get out of this binging addiction

[@victoriaschmidt677]

I feel like you're such an emotionally healthy person

[@zakariafadli4996]

Your channel is extremely underrated, i have no doubt you'll reach a million subscribers by the end of the year. Keep up the good content.

[@cherrilynnlelezhang3856]

KZbin is erratic so maybe not a million but 500K is reasonable for sure

[@giannialberghieri3937]

Exactly!!! The quality of the videos is so high

[@trucpham7034]

Love you, Kiana

[@simona4315]

Keep going 👍

[@NOTFONEJACKER]

I always struggled with binge eating and weight issues. After 26 years i've started to lose weight (3 1/2 stone) effectively and I honestly believe it's because of you and your channel. Cheers for everything!

[@KianaDocherty]

my heart 😭😭😭💕thats a huge loss congratulations!!

[@Hannah-dd6bo]

yo can do it, love!

[@rosie5348]

So you lost 45.5 pounds, good job 😭✨

[@franksinatraaintmydadnah3907]

YOU CAN DO THIS!

[@Gingersnaps1978]

Bravo! Enjoy your victories, and your new body at each stage in this process😊

[@19lemonsandoranges]

I actually never realized I'm a boredom eater until now. I relate to everything in this video. The binge eating, the not wanting to eat in front of other people, the promise of tomorrow I will not eat at all to balance out the binge I just had, never having enough with just one portion of something. And I also really relate to getting nervous or emotional when talking about this with other people, so I find it incredibly strong of you to have been able to share your story in front of the camera. You really help people with these kinds of videos so thank u!!

[@jeffmcgiver899]

I was the same way, I’ve lost 30 pounds and am down to a good near fit weight. I do a 2 meal a day bc you can have a 800 cal meal and that I find filling. Snacking kills

[@19lemonsandoranges]

@@jeffmcgiver899 that's so amazing!! Congrats❣️

[@fayeob8419]

The last time i was this early i was still fat

[@aarontheperson6867]

This is one of the only good "last time I was this early" jokes

[@mireille916]

I totally get the binge and no eating after. It truly was a journey also for me to stop doing that and do things in moderation. Instead of eating the whole bag. I measure how much I will eat and if I eat sweets it is my conscious decision and I am aware how much I will eat. I am also in a much better place mentally, I am happy. It took me like 10 years from eating disorder to having it under control.

[@xxdrowssapxx1]

i basically buy a single portion of junk food. Either that or try to limit it to under 800 kcal.

[@alexlee4498]

The way you approach these issues is phenomenal. Very human and empathetic never arrogant. Love your work.

[@hannahlee4262]

You’re like the Tiffany Ferguson of weight loss KZbin

[@tartlet8564]

Hannah Lee I was just about to comment something like that Hahahaha, I super agree with you they’re both very intelligent and you never get bored listening to them.💖💖

[@stargirl3455]

You're right haha I love Tiffany

[@josie3221]

Haha omg yes

[@wajeehaquadriiii]

So truee

[@MB-yl9hm]

She's better because shes not pretentious/condescending. I like Tiffany, but sometimes she gets annoying.

[@marydettejocson]

I unconsciously said “Right?” listening to this while cleaning the house. Its like talking to a friend with the same exact realization as I. Forgive me for sharing but I used to be 230 lbs, lost 70 lbs in 2016, took my time with it and did it for a period of a year and a half. The recipe for sustaining weightloss is changing your habits permanently. Like you said this is a commitment for a lifetime and you just have to choose between longevity and a few minutes of pleasure. And ofcourse its a no brainer. I still gain 5-7 lbs every now and then but it seems easier to lose. And just like you I am still overweight lol, according to the BMI scale but happy that I maintained my weight anyhow. A work in progress forever I guess. Congrats to you and to everyone here who are making strides to do right, remember that you’re not just doing this for yourself but for those you love by staying healthier and staying alive longer :)

[@flyingfeathers_]

1:01 She's not overweight, she clearly says she has a healthy bmi. Btw, you don't look overweight at all.

[@mcd08]

Remember BMI gets trickier and less accurate the closer to a normal weight you get because it was created specifically for white men. Depending on your age and gender and whether you've had children (if you are someone who can have children) the bmi you are right now might be perfectly healthy and not overweight! Congratulations on the wonderful results 💗

[@flyingfeathers_]

@cm. CG ikr, i usually don't find Asian people attractive because of their monolids but this woman is pretty af

[@flyingfeathers_]

@cm. CG no worries bro, i'm a girl

[@fartyfat6539]

@@flyingfeathers_ i know you mean well but thats incredibly ignorant. Its like saying, i always find white people unattractive because of their wrinkly pale skin but you're pretty. See? you can just compliment people without offending a whole race.

[@sofiaguerrero0969]

The doing one cookie and walking away thing worked for me after I learned that a bit of bad food wasn’t going to ruin my months of progress. I used to restrict all sweets and only eat fruits and when I got ahold of the sweets at my parents house, I’d binge on all the junk because I knew I wouldn’t allow myself to have it at my apartment so what the heck let’s go all out. I started allowing dark chocolate and plantain chips (healthier versions of junk food) back in my apartment and I’ve felt much calmer and peaceful knowing I could still enjoy my unhealthier foods, eat my greens and fruits, and have an overall satisfying day without binging. Took a long time for me to learn this because like you, I also was obese. I am now considered thin by societal standards (I’m a dress size 4… I was a size 10) so the fear of gaining the weight back is monumental. Would never want to go back

[@hermioneziggeraut7617]

The hair loss as a result of extreme restrictive dieting is real. Once, when I was unhappy, I went a bit nuts with seeing how little I could eat. I liked feeling my ribs appear. I liked the control. Then my hair started falling out and going lanky AF. I looked AWFUL. I remember the hairdresser saying 'it doesn't feel like real hair!'. Don't do it.

[@yadanada4106]

Oh gawd, I remember that. Horrible time. Not eating enough, with minimal to no protein. Hair was so thin yet the strands were course, it was like touching guitar strings. Just weird.

[@afz5355]

@@yadanada4106 that sounds really scary

[@phoenixdavida8987]

Yeah I went through a period when I just had no appetite at ALL. and I looked bad. I lost my period. It's not good.

[@roxassora2706]

I would feel sickly having my ribs appear

[@LittleDogTobi]

Yeah. I struggle with restrictive behavior and my wake up call last year that I needed to get myself together was when my hair started to fall out--just clumps of it whenever I ran a hand through my hair in the shower 🤢🤢🤢

[@fluddie6832]

You have such a warm and charming personality! Just wanted to tell you that because I felt you should know, gorgeous content!

[@fusionspace175]

This is the "Oh, now I get it" video for your channel. Just watched the Health At Every Size video, great work. I don't know anyone who needs this currently, but I have before, so I'm very glad you're out there doing this. In high school I started dating a girl who was around 250, and I never pushed her to do anything about it, just made her want to live more basically if that doesn't sound too whatever, she naturally chose health for herself and I just supported her. My mom probably did a lot of the actual work when I wasn't even around though, to be honest, her trauma had made her demonize self care in a lot of ways relating to being female. And as to willpower, this girl had already managed to kick heroin before the age of 17 when I met her and healed her mind enough to stay out of asylums. Willpower was never the issue. Anyway it is recoverable, is all I mean, she's great now and we're still friends. Approaching the issue with this informed sensitivity is so important, just as important as the line where politeness stops and health necessity begins.

[@internetperson3436]

You, you're an amazing person, and so is she

[@coffeebean2370]

I relate to the “you can make it till dinner” voice

[@gagerheyman]

Me too :/

[@harshitasnehi791]

I weighed 198 pounds. I'm 5 feet tall so that was a lot. In the past two years I have lost 50 pounds and still have 25-30 pounds to go. I too had this phase where I just stopped eating..I was consuming 300 calories a day. My body got weak. My immune system began to give out. Clumps of hair fell out. But I kept working out like crazy and finally my body broke down completely. After recovering, I started eating healthy. Working out moderately. And videos like this just are so helpful :) in keeping me going without destroying my body.

[@Gingersnaps1978]

I’m so glad you are in recovery. It’s so easy to trade one extreme for the other when extremes are all you know.

[@amymenjivar8960]

Not to be dramatic but her nervous giggles are so fookinng cute !😡

[@Miknaes94]

Iced Water its red panty night yeh.

[@advlia686]

☺️😂😂😂

[@Walymie]

Tbh the giggles kinda piss me off a bit, it makes it hard to listen to her when she laughs at the end of every phrase she says. I can understand it's her being nervous and she can't do much about it but it feels too much.

[@amymenjivar8960]

@@Walymieyeah I get it. It reminds me of me when I'm nervous though and I'm well aware it can be a bit much but I cant stop 🤭

[@ebella8419]

@@Walymie don't tell me your mad at her for giggling

[@joshuamichel-baird888]

SO GLAD I FOUND YOUR CHANNEL!! I found myself slipping into bad habits again and your channel really helped me remember why I started. Whilst still Currently on my weight-loss journey I Started at 365 Currently 250 Height 6'3

[@richapandey2139]

Tell me your diet. I am vegetarian though may be i 80 kilos i want to be 60

[@jenniferbond7073]

Good job Joshua! Keep at it. 👍

[@joshuamichel-baird888]

@@vi5360 thank u!

[@odangohead9343]

Wow congrats!!! And keep up the amazing work ☺️

[@MountainMama77]

Wow congratulations!

[@p0t.n00dle4]

I'm a skinny person with a binge eating problem and honestly the fear you describe is so on point. Even though I have never been fat and I have been binge restricting for years, I still live in constant fear that one day I'll keep eating and eating and never stop and grow all the way to 600lbs. It's completely irrational, but the loss of control I feel when I binge fuels it so much. I also think that I was actually fucked over by genetics because my whole family have an addictive personality, (my dad binge eats too, an used to smoke for many years). I think this is the case because I observe the same behaviour in myself with alcohol and drugs as well as food. I have friends who just stop eating when they're full, it doesn't matter what's left on the plate and what's in the fridge, they just don't want anymore. But it's like an obsession for me. As soon as I walk into a party it's all about how much of everything I can consume. I can't just relax and go with the flow, I'll keep going until one day I'm dead in a ditch. In that way, yes it is genetics, but we all have a choice and we can all find ways to cope even if it's harder for some people compared to others.

[@Liminally_ill]

I was like this too. And I thought never in a million years would I stop addiction. But I did. Stopping addictions is a different journey for everyone but what I want to say is don’t fall into the trap of thinking that you are not able to stop because genetics or personality or family history. If you hear most people that stop they say they would never thought they would have been able to. BUT THEY WERE. That’s one of the traps of addiction. It makes you believe that you are the one who will definitely be unable to stop. But that’s all it is. It’s a trap. It’s not true. You can stop. Just keep at it. Keep trying and keep failing until one day you succeed.

[@MO-fi8kp]

@@Liminally_illhow did you stop?

[@Liminally_ill]

@@MO-fi8kp so it's different for every body but one thing that I've seen in common is no one almost stops the first time. You gonna relapse, so you have to forgive yourself and understand that when you relapse you can stop again. And then again and again and again until you are free. Also, what helped me was educating myself on how addiction works and its mental traps (sometimes you think it's you who makes a decision but it's not, it's the addiction) and when you identify those moments it's easier to distance yourself from it and push back. Also, sadly once and addict always an addict. So don't fall into the mental trap that you can just become a non addict. Once free of your addiction behavior you'll always have this inclination but you'll learn to live with it and it will get easier and easier but never forget that it can come back so don't indulge. You can live a happy and free live as an ex addict forever if you're aware of this. Also, if you're watching this video it means you're trying to understand and learn so YOU ARE ALREADY IN THE RIGHT PATH!!!!

[@bigbay1159]

Yes! Girl your channel is creeping up. You becoming the KZbinr I can't wait to post a video. Always so well done

[@KianaDocherty]

[@elcilove]

When I first started watching your videos, I thought "oh wow, no wonder she's talking about this stuff, look how healthy and glowing she looks" and I never would have realized that you used to struggle with your weight. Focus on health and weight loss will come naturally :)

[@oliviapo4082]

I know this video is old, but thank you so much, Kiana, for sharing your story. I know it couldn’t have been easy for you. I’ve always been underweight, could never eat large portions of anything, and being on ADHD medications that make me lose my appetite doesn’t help. It’s so hard to have to force myself to eat when I’m just not hungry. The idea of eating food makes me sick sometimes, but I can see just how hard it can be from the other side as well. It weirdly makes me feel like I’m not alone in my struggles with food. Anywho, just wanted to say that your videos are incredibly well made. There’s so much wisdom in the things you say and you really seem like such a sweet person who truly cares about others. Please, keep doing what you’re doing and be proud of where you are today!

[@adithyavk1764]

Losing weight (50lbs) has turned my life around for good. I have so much more confidence now, more energy, overall I'm just happier and healthier. But I regret not knowing enough about nutrition and diet before losing weight. I lost it in a not so healthy way, I basically starved myself. But if you really understand nutrition and know how your body reacts, losing weight is easy. You just need the will to do it. And some moral support will really help. Congratulations on your journey and success kiana.

[@georjiep4338]

Your struggles are very similar to mine, I just reached 200 pounds and I'm gutted because I'm so young. Im very determined to lose the weight and be healthy!!!

[@sharroon7574]

I hope you get the support you need, please don't do anything extreme just make one small change at a time. You are beautiful just as you are!

[@georjiep4338]

@@sharroon7574 thank you for your comment 👍

[@kurt827]

I’m very young aswell, and people often think me only eating healthy stuff is an ED. Do you have the same strugglesv

[@georjiep4338]

@@kurt827 erm well my fiancé has noticed that I tend to eat more when I'm stressed, and he believes I have a ED or possibly just some uncovered psychological issues. I am little confused with your situation however, as eating healthy is not an ED unless people think your under eating. Either way, hope your healthy 👍

[@Darthdeedee91]

You can do it! Start slow as the other comments say. You have to build your will power, you slowly start losing cravings, workouts don't feel like pulling teeth, etc. Start SLOW can't stress that enough. The building will power, builds consistency, which allows you to meet your goals.

[@ayers6198]

Growing up I used to binge on so much candy to the point of being sick. Growing up in an Asian household, candy was usually the cheapest thing to gift on birthdays and stuff /given as rewards for acing tests or winning something. Also since academics is such a big priority for everyone here my mom used to give me whole candy bars as they supposedly give energy for all-nighters. I'm talking grades 7-8. However over the years, after battling with several forms of disordered eating, I have come to realize that I don't even like candy that much. I am 23 years old now. But still I can't see those bars in my fridge so if people give me those I ask my mom to give them away. Anyway, I love your channel. So glad I found it. I hope you keep inspiring others with your videos. And also, I hope you are happy and healthy.

[@shreklover5066]

Not eating healthy foods in public because you think people will think you didn't get to that size by eating that and not eating unhealthy foods because people will think no wonder you got to that size is sooooo relatable and reminded me of Rae earl in the show my mad fat diary who said the exact thing on the show to her friends that won't understand

[@crazydancinpete]

“I want to eat foods that I want because I feel that I truly want them, not because I’m responding to the environment in a way that I used to respond to it” This made me stop and rewind because... yes! Very well put!

[@sportyeight7769]

Same with breakfast. Everybody says it's the most important meal, but to be honest i am never hungry in the morning. Water or coffee is enough until 12 pm for me.

[@cru3lladevi11e]

come here from your most recent video and idk why you think this is cringe? its absolutely raw and wholesome ! rooting for you, thank you for being honest and awesome.

[@t.j.meechan682]

So refreshing to hear your story. I struggled with my weight in high school and it made me feel extremely insecure. I dont think that many people actually knew how I felt about myself. Sometimes even when a person loses the weight the insecurities remain. You can never truly understand a person's story until they open up and tell it. Thank you.

[@sreivphol]

Thank you for this inspirational video. Sending love all the way from Thailand.

[@felixoupopote]

I don't have food problems, I have drug/alcohol problems, but the principles are SO similar, I still get a lot out of these videos! Thank you! I still fucking resent fat nurses who condescend to and yell at alcoholic patients like we're the ones breaking the healthcare system and diabetes isn't expensive and preventable, but uh... Well, I suppose all of humanity is human,band you can learn things from even the biggest a$$h0le. Even me!

[@nrth3716]

@@felixoupopote Hope you be doing better

[@kejoko]

I’m so proud of people like you. I always had issues with weight too. Eating, being fat, feeling unhealthy. But after lots of changes it clicked more and I’m more healthy than I’ve ever bin! It’s a haaaaard process for a lot of us. So I love channels like this! Seeing the problems in the world and talking about it! Keep putting good energy out in the world :)

[@ColieBear18]

I adore this off the cuff you. I laughed so hard when you said "what the FUCK was I trying to say" cuz it reminded me so much of myself and the way I talk lmaoo.

[@mikeballer08]

Kiana, you are literally the female version of me. I was a fat adolescent fat teen and fat young adult and now im at a healthy BMI. We all struggle until we find the balance. I used to do the same thing with pushing eating off until my workouts and my general energy levels tanked. I needed to change because an active man cannot survive on 2k calories and bumped it up to 2600 and I feel strong and energetic. Listening to your body is so important. Im glad you shared. Its inspirational to many out there struggling.

[@melissad9899]

I love how real you are. You're honest, super cute, and your accountability is amazing! I've never had to worry about my weight. I am 5'11" and the most I weighed was 200 pounds after I delivered a baby. I really like your account because now I understand so much more about the struggle. It's more intense than I could've imagined.

[@Investigativebean]

I had a toxic relationship like that. Getting out of that relationship I lost 60lbs 😬. Certain people don’t want their partners to do anything to make their self esteem better for fear of abandonment. They’re afraid that I’d their partner feels good about themselves that they’ll realize they deserve better. It is an insane revelation to make.

[@wendigo2964]

Yeah, had a buddy who was like that with his girlfriends... Hes not a buddy anymore.

[@katherinepitts2961]

You better preach and teach that message. You are right. These are psych games that people play in relationships and it could be any relationship. It could be family, friends, or anybody that you are in relationship with for that matter. People are too good to people who do not deserve it.

[@BlunderCity]

_"Certain people don’t want their partners to do anything to make their self esteem better for fear of abandonment."_ How do you know that's what happened?

[@MissCaraMint]

People feed of eachother. I got into a relationship while I was training for the military with this guy who was kinda chubby and smoked. Thankfully he was more affected with my healthy habits at the time as I was doing a thing I was pretty passionate about.

[@chelseaward9841]

It’s the opposite for me. I was bulimic all my adolescents and teens and got to my lowest weight of 77 pounds. I’m now 146 pounds and 5’2 and I struggle really hard to lose weight now healthily. I have been working out and trying to find a healthy balance. Thanks for sharing your story🖤

[@sonjadover2715]

I was also bulimic and now find it very very difficult to lose weight. I sometimes wonder if I damaged my metabolism. Luckily, I'm a lot healthier mentally and don't have a lot of weight to lose. All we can do is our best 🤷‍♀️❤ congrats on your recovery.

[@TheShumoby]

Have you guys tried keto?

[@kirchoffkyle]

As someone who is 5'3" I find that just having a very active lifestyle with a moderate amount of food is pretty much all I need, I think that lack of exercise makes controlling weight way harder

[@anciareuterbach3928]

As a recoverd bulimic myself in my mid-fourties I found myself getting a massive belly fat ring. Now I work out 30 min (Chloe Ting) every day and do a run twice a week. Very slowly I can see good results. It is difficult to loose weight the healthy way!

[@madelinebitts2766]

I find the best way to do it is just eat a normal/healthy maintenance amount for someone of your goal weight. It's a slower way to lose weight, but you'll definitely get down to a healthy weight eventually, and without the restrictive element that can trigger off eating disorders. You'll always eventually get to the weight you eat to, even if it takes more than a year, you'll get there.

[@SusanaXpeace2u]

Interesting story, I love how psychology has helped you along the way. I feel like psychology is so important. People aren't asking themselves, what's the hard part about dieting, the boredom? the hunger? we need to get behind ourselves.

[@lhoravn2481]

In dec 2019 I was 245lbs. Currently I'm 184. Videos like yours help me SO much to keep my eye on the prize and understand the science and facts behind weight loss. So thank you. And thank you for sharing your story, I LOVE this channel :)

[@MrAdmiralKush]

This is probably gonna get lost, but I figured i might as well take the time. Ive always been a big boy as well growing up, even at one point when I used to run 5+ miles a day every day and hit the gym 4-5 times a week (I got to be pretty strong which kept me going but because I nor anyone in my family was educated on nutrition I never cut a lot of fat off and didn't know why) but because I didn't see a 6 pack I always saw myself as fat. So when I gave up, went to college, and gained almost 100+ lbs in 5 years. At first I would wear "L" clothes (oh yeah, im fat lol) so when I went to an "xL" I didn't really care cause I was still "fat" in my mind, it was only when I went up to xxl that I was like alright now im no longer "fat" im obese. But I always considered myself to be bigger and it didn't affect my daily activities all too much. it was around then though that people became concerned with my health and also when I became scared of the weight scale in my bedroom. I never got on it and got defensive about it even though my family told me to get on it because I didn't wanna see the numbers behind my weight. because of that I got to my highest being 291. the last 20 lbs getting to my highest was when I started noticing problems with going out, walking, sleeping, bathing etc. It was only when I got accepted into med school (lol there goes so much stress) that I decided I cant excuse myself by just saying "oh its just college ya know" and decided to make some lifestyle changes. So now its been half a year, im down to xl (got there from xxxl) although its still a little tight, Its been 6 months since I quit smoking, and also 7 months since I quit drinking. Now if only I could find a way to keep focused on med school online classes LOL.

[@CC-yh2yq]

I’ve lost 90 lbs but i’m starting to smoke again it’s annoying.. I quit for 1 year after smoking for a couple years... but in isolation i’ve just been really stressed. I’m buying a juul soon tho so i can try and wean myself off the nicotine 😂

[@MrAdmiralKush]

@@CC-yh2yq ive smoked for 9 years, and was a heavy smoker and have asthma. so that coupled with my weight gain basically made me have a constant coughing fit with the smallest triggers. it took me a lot to want to stop, its still difficult from time to time, especially since im in med school I find myself under a lot of stress quite often. I have to tell me fellow med students or family that im craving a cigarette to force them to keep an eye on me and make it impossible for me to give in to my cravings. Hopefully you find something that works for you, good luck, and hope for the best.

[@hannahbarden8033]

❤️

[@CC-yh2yq]

MrAdmiralKush i’m doing biological anthropology at university and after i’m finished i’m off to do a masters in forensic anthropology. So hard with all the deadlines and we still have exams they just postponed them so i’m really stressed. Haven’t smoked since i posted that message before and I actually threw away my carton of cigarettes that i had and i’ve tried a juul but it just made me cough so much even tho i never cough when i smoke hahaha. I think if i go cold turkey for long enough i should forget about it 😂 mind over matter 🥴

[@bmo64_]

YOU GOT THIS!! omg i’m so proud of you, just think of all your accomplishments so far and that’ll be some motivation. Also think of how beneficial getting through med school will be.

[@chuyista]

Your laugh is so contagious, I’ve seen this video maybe 5 times over the past couple years and to this day, I don’t know why I keep coming back to it. Maybe I love your storytelling or maybe I put myself into your shoes, regardless it’s a video that resonates with me and I’m always happier when I view it. Sending love from North Carolina

[@wajeehaquadriiii]

Man she speaks so well. I love her videos so much,she makes food science so interesting and simple.

[@__m-a-x__]

For a former "fat person" it seems like you've really made a lot of progress in the way you think about food. Just like with mental illness or substance abuse, self-examination is EVERYTHING and it seems to me, as a random KZbin viewer, like you have a healthy sense of self consciousness. Hopefully a fat boy or girl will see this and want to be more like you.

[@pandamygdala]

I know this video is several years old at this point, but I really needed this. A lot of how you say that you felt is honestly how I used to think and am once again feeling. I went from 300 lbs to 160 lbs, but ended up gaining a significant amount back once the pandemic hit since my gym closed and I felt like I was not allowed to even leave my home to go walking like I always did. That isolation re-ignited my old eating habits to a degree, and I lost all motivation to workout anymore. I've been trying so hard to get back to how things were, and am constantly asking myself how past me even stayed motivated and had such self control. I was the fat kid, the fat teen, and the fat adult, so hitting that 160 mark - I could finally dress like all of the other girls and feel confident, but that dream only lasted a year or two. I desire so badly to get back to that, and you've inspired me through your words and actions; and, it is true - if you can lose weight, if I can lose weight - ANYONE can. All I ever did was walk everyday and eat a heart healthy diet. It's time to stop being depressed about it and do something. I'm so tired of this life-long battle.

[@leobulero8567]

I´m an alcoholic and sober for a few years. But it is still hard. People like you help me to continue fight the addicten. You show: it is possible. Love and respect to you.

[@ishikamishra5909]

It’s ok to cry girl! You should be proud of yourself because you worked HARD!!

[@JAM661]

Honesting and not being stuck in denial is the first step in getting better. I love your video because you bwen though it but also found a way to recover from your food addiction. It is a process in understanding how food effect us especially mentally.

[@gumi_b3ar]

As someone who used to be a chronic boredom and stress eater, I recommend getting chewelry. It's a necklace that has a rubber pendant you can chew on, usually for neurodiverse people (which is actually why I got mine, cuz I have ADHD) but anyone can use one. A mother could wear one for when her baby is crying in public. Anyway, you're chewing without intaking any calories. You could do the same thing with gum, but you'd have to keep re-stocking it so it's better to spend $5 on three chewy rubber necklaces rather than $500 on gum in a few years. I lost 50 lbs after about a year because I wasn't eating as much and I wasn't eating absolute garbage. Take that with a grain of salt when judging how much weight you can lose by getting one, I tend to gain and lose weight easily and I started taking stimulants for my ADHD which can suppress your appetite. And you're not gonna lose weight with just dieting, you have to exercise if you want to lose weight at a noticeable rate. This comment is a lot longer than I intended it to be, thank you for reading this to the end.

[@morgantaylor517]

Interesting, I never heard of that product but I definitely have an oral fixation. I'll check into that. Thank you.

[@LinkEX]

»And you're not gonna lose weight with just dieting« Depending on dieting habits, dieting alone actually _can_ get you to a normal weight without any exercise whatsoever. At the very least, it's the more important factor of the two. As they saying goes, "abs are made in the kitchen" - you can't outrun (or out-exercise) a bad diet. That said, it is obviously never a bad idea to start exercising.

[@LinkEX]

Also, that chewlery is an interesting concept. For those that don't feel like buying these, you can alternatively simply opt for healthy foods that have little calories and take long to chew. For instance, you can chew on a carrot like forever and still have some hard chunks after 10 minutes. Given that you don't swallow, of course. But you could take this as another challenge of being more mindful about how you eat - slow eating is another habit that will automatically not only help you eat less since you feel full before overeating. But because it is also improves digestion.

[@thecampverdekid806]

You can lose weight with diet alone, but you miss out on the cardiovascular benefits excercise provides

[@eyamangil]

Omg you blew my effing mind this is a thing i need!

[@Bootyyyshaker4000]

I'm so happy I've found your channel recently. You're not a skinny person that shames people, you have this experience with weight/food. You have this genuine curiosity and concern for people, food addictions and myths about obesity being healthy. Keep doing whay you do -- you're kind, professional and smart and we need more people like you on this platform. :)

[@kithon630]

Your whole story (minus the boyfriend part) feels almost like a reflection of my own. It's inspirational to see you work through it, and keep yourself disciplined; I'm at the point in the story where I begin to reverse the damage to my body and develop the discipline in order to change for life. Over the last 4 months, I have lost 30kgs of weight.

[@slakes6480]

from being in the rut to teaching and telling us about your experiences, youre definately on a good path

[@HamsterQueen9]

Partners are very important when it comes to well-being. My husband helped me to overcome my struggles with weight and food. I used to restrict myself a lot and sometimes it comes back and I have to fight it. That voice never goes away.

[@polarvortex3294]

It's kind of amazing that she was able to claw her way back to a semi-normal weight from her out-of-control binge-fest peak in college. She must have retained some vital inner spark of hope and self-love even in the depths of her heavyweight despair.

[@donnagelina8548]

You're a delightful young lady and thanks for sharing your story. It's so funny because I'm old enough to be your mom and I can relate to almost everything you shared. When I was young there wasn't as much information available so I truly felt like I was alone. I am in my 50s and I still struggle at times! Keep up the good work!!

[@Sparks.u]

Stephanie Buttermore is one of my biggest inspiration for healthy eating. I was really underweight when I was working in fashion and really struggled with getting to a place where I wasn't ravenously hungry all the time. Her journey really inspired me and I have found her videos and lifestyle tips so helpful. She is coming from the other end of extreme eating to you, so her process might not be relevant to your journey but I think she would make a great example for intuitive eating and wellness if you shared her story.

[@aioki_uchiha]

girl, I just found ur channel and I can't express how much hope ur giving me and knowledge and ur such a real and beautiful person... im a bit over 300 lbs and I just started my weightloss journey

[@1995robin]

I've been overweight since I was 10 (I'm 25 now) and everyday I imagine my body being skinnier. Since I was a kid I always felt that if I was skinny people would love me more. I sometimes need to remind myself that being skinny won't solve my problems. I want so bad to be skinny but I don't make any effort and I always put excuses. I hope someday I'll love myself enough to take care of myself, because something simple like brushing my teeth before bed it's a struggle.

[@ah4866]

Instead of THINKING about weightloss, ACT toward weightloss. Fishing for more understanding why you fail doesn´t make you happier nor skinnier. Asking strangers for support while failing never helped me lose my 40kg, so it wont help you. Though love, i know, but thats what helps

[@sashaciochina1166]

In the day and age where you keep hearing "Fat is beautiful" it's critical to show just how important it is to have a healthy diet. Plus our brains are not prepared for the huge variety of caloric-dense foods available nowadays.

[@williamashworth8538]

Very cool, I like how you can say “fat” so confidently about your former self. It really shows that you have come to terms and accepted your reality and did something positive to change it. It keeps you grounded so you wont let your guard down and let yourself slip into old habits and addictions again.

[@Themystergamerr]

I just find it really hard to believe that you need to lose another 30 pounds. You look so slim! Well done on overcoming your binge eating 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@ceejay5959]

everyone sharing their weight loss stories is so nice. I'm not "fat" but I used to be a pretty active person, but recently I've gotten lazy, LOL! I'm not at a bad weight, and I'm "skinny," but this is inspiring me to start working hard again and to just be better than I am now : )

[@Julie-ox1ez]

Nice :) its always good to stay healthy, no matter what weight

[@shannenc.wright7280]

I've recently having this journey. I've lost 32lbs in tha last 5 months and I'm still working through it. Thank you for this video which is reinforcing that I'm doing it the right way and that I'm on the way to being a healthier, more self-confident person. This video has helped me more than you know

[@maciejc1673]

4:40 when you show the old photos, I couldn't believe it's you. You literally look like a DIFFERENT person. Great video as always, really liked the swear words here and there, gave it a good spirit.

[@theinvisibleme4104]

I was a thin child, and even thinner teenager, I didn't eat lots of fast food or sweets, but I used to eat a lot of my mom's meals, but after I turned 25 I started to gain weight(due to binge eating) something I've never considered because I used to have a healthy relationship with food... right now I'm in the process of losing weight...

[@vvickedyouth]

I love this video because it describes my EXACT situation, from being overweight in high school, to losing it by not eating hardly anything & my hair falling out. I also have binge days where I cannot stop myself, so then I shut down and won't eat for the next few days. Then, the restriction becomes too much and I binge again. It's died down so much in the last few years, but I'm so happy to know there is someone out there like me!

[@prajwalg17]

Been here since 2k although it wasn't that long ago lol. Love the content, the in-depth analysis about people's behaviour when it comes to food. Really appreciate what you're doing! Also congrats on the almost 50k!

[@KianaDocherty]

LOL love that. Thank you so much!

[@Pink_Chanel_Princess]

I can relate. I've done pretty much every diet, from aged 12 was when I started due to bullying. I even starved myslef, did the detox drinks and would faint all the time. Then aged 16 I would binge eat and I had gained a lot of weight , looked awful and was in a dark place. Bullying continued as well. My hair started falling out at 15, i also have alopecia as well :( the spot aint growing as well, and it's been 5yrs. Aged 18 I started going gym and eating clean, all was good. Then the binge started again. Gained the weight. Went gym. Ate clean. Binged again. Aged 19, went vegan for 6 months. It was all great. Then binged , yet again. Gained the weight , again. So now 2020, I'm on OMAD, keto, and I'm so used to it. I eat chicken, fish, some low carb veggies etc. Still on it as of yet and I look better than I have before. Not a fan of carbs as I bloat and it looks awful and I'm trying , really trying. Before corona virus i would go gym, now I do home workout. I haven't bought junk food in a LONG while, haven't had carbs. I reduce the amount of salt I eat, little sugar as well. So far this is working 😇 Im 20 btw. Edit : so I've changed OMAD to having 2 full meals day - still low carb and keto friendly I'll also consider getting professional help eg counselling/ therapy. Finding out the root cause and discussing mental health as well. Thank you guys for your support and helpful advice💕

[@saraheve3847]

I so relate to you. I'm 20 as well.

[@yvettesutton9173]

Yay, Well Done keep going!!! ❤️❤️

[@Pink_Chanel_Princess]

@@saraheve3847 its was such a struggle honestly, but I'm at a happy place now :)

[@Pink_Chanel_Princess]

@@yvettesutton9173 aww thank you!!! 💕

[@verbon47]

im gonna say it. you are going to binge AGAIN. you dont have an healthy relationship with food at all and you really do need to fix that before anything else.

[@tiffanym4202]

I can totally relate. I used to have my secret binges: sneaking a box of brown sugar and a spoon into my room, buying an family sized raspberry danish, eating the whole thing while the kids were at school and then running out to replace it before they got home, etc. I had very low self esteem, which I think was the driving force behind the binges. Currently have another 20-30 lbs to go (goal is a size 10, regardless of weight) and I don't care what anyone thinks of my weight. I love myself just as I am but have a new set of drivers: I want to climb to the 9400ft mountain peak above my home, I don't want to be pre-diabetic and most importantly, I really want to be able to climb into my sleeping bag and be able to zip it up past my hips! :) I think my kids would like that, too.

[@SaraH-jn5db]

EDs are really interesting because they work both ways. I had the same thing happen: I was fat all my life until adulthood where i finally got to a healthy weight, then moved to a different city and stopped eating as much, the skinnier I got, the less I would eat. I ended up living on a bottle of soda and chocolate bar every few days and lost 20 lbs in 4 months, putting me in an underweight bmi. Looking back at the pictures I looked gray and dead. It was such an odd but powerful feeling when I had my fridge right next to my bed in my flat but would never touch it no matter how hungry I got. It took a few months being back home with my mom to get better

[@syd5604]

when she was talking about how she thought people were watching her when she ate i related so hard

[@idamay4590]

thank you for your candor kiana, really helpful as a person who struggles with secret/binge eating-it can feel so hopeless, and your frankness regarding your success is a light at the end of the tunnel!!

[@tighemcasey7589]

Huge quantities of foods when getting home from school... *Chuckles* I’m in danger

[@mikasa8292]

4:43 holy shit McMasters University. Someone's 🇨🇦❤😁

[@MssLvgd]

Thank you for sharing your personal story🙏I just saw this and another video of you, but I already can tell that you know your food. I can relate to almost everything you're saying. 🙏 Its so fascinating to get into nutrition and healthy eating. When I was "accidentally" eating healthier (my boyfriends mom cooked really healthy food, when i lived there, I wasn't fat anymore at that time but still not know much about food) I really realized what food does to you body, skin, hair etc. In that time I got into healthy fresh food and today i can't imagine my life without it. (still enjoy eating unhealthy, what can I say.) at the end a little book tip for anyone interested "how not to die - michael gregor"

[@videointeresante9449]

When I was a teen, I was 85 kg and 1.67m. I remember once my mum cooked pasta alla carbonara for the family, meanwhile she gave me only steamed vegetables and salad. I was so mad at her and I was convinced that my mum didn't love me at all and she wanted me to suffer. I had excuses like "oh, I have big bones, this is why I look fat" or "that's just how my body is" or worse than that "I embrace my body". But now, at 24 years old, I understand how much my mum loved me and I understand why she wanted me to lose weight. I am thankful to you mum for never giving up on me and you encouraged me for every gram that I lost. Sometimes, we all need a little bit of tough love ❤

[@cerionic6733]

Having overcome binging myself. The biggest tip I can give is after you binge is to not go cold turkey, slowly work back your calories until you are at your set goal. Let's say you binge ate 4000 calories. For the next week eat 3500-3700 then the next week drop it to 3300-3000. Slowly work back down to normal.

[@GoogleSuckMyCockk]

Being fat and a binge eater is just like alcoholism. You will always be "fat". Even if you get fit, change your habits you're always at the risk of slipping. That's a serious condition which stays with us forever.

[@aparna2701]

This is me. I've been through slightly chubby to anorexia to borderline obese right now. All of it caused by BED, even the anorexia because I binged on smaller quantities in one go and not eat at all after that to "stay skinny". It's a scary thing to live with, but I have faith in myself, in us. ❤️