Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is The Worst Indiana Jones Movies (So Far) - Hack The Movies

Tony and Johanna have almost finished their Indiana Jones adventure. Today they will talk about the worst Indiana Jones movie ever made...so far. That's right it's Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of The Crystal Skull!
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[@HackTheMovies]

Do you want to watch this episode before it airs? I put it up early for Patrons and KZbin channel members. Only $2 for this and all our other bonus video content! kzbin.info/door/rRdNg4DiJJosJdwG_-_zJwjoin www.patreon.com/posts/indiana-jones-of-84189461

[@_Pauper_]

Sorry the sweaty palmed Cheeto farts are getting upset about your “woke-ness” You be you.

[@theflail]

The chemistry between you two is my favorite on the show.

[@CoryHatfield]

They belong together.

[@9r0t0typ3]

only if you like sexist comments every couple of minutes.

[@jacksonscott690]

She’s too mean to Tony

[@andylofi4448]

Matching BMIs

[@AloisWeimar]

she”s not mean enough and online reactionaries ree when she goes after Tony so that is a plus to trigger those snowflakes

[@SchlockbusterVideo]

The scene was discussed, but you glossed over that Chet Hanks cameo. I am sure that none of us can get enough of that Chet Hanks discourse.

[@IronGod1640]

That cat stared at the same spot for so long, I thought it was fake.

[@user-ns5bz8dt4c]

Mac couldn't get up because of the gold which he had put in his clothes. He let go to not waste Indy's time so Indy and the others could survive. He screamed because he was scared about the portal which was sucking him in.

[@LouieD85]

There are 3 Indiana Jones films.. No more, no less. A trilogy. A fantastic trilogy with an ending of them literally riding into the sunset.

[@belachaney]

Last Crusade stinks

[@CharlieD.706]

@@belachaneyI don’t really like temple of doom either.. I think raiders is great and the other two are fine.

[@fairwarning007]

⁠​⁠​⁠@@belachaney if Last Crusade stinks, THEN I AM MICKEY MOUSE!!!

[@belachaney]

@@fairwarning007 nice to talk to ya Mickey, where's Minnie at so I can smack her bitties

[@markula_4040]

Pretending a bad sequel doesn't exist by commenting on a video about it. So edgy

[@HeavyMetalKing777]

Mutt did say he fenced in the dinner at the beginning. I almost missed it too because of how quick and insignificant it is at the time.

[@ryanpowell2540]

Great review, you two. They should have stopped with Last Crusade, but part of me wonders if a fourth Indy movie could have worked if it had been executed differently.

[@kdusel1991]

It could've worked in the mid to late 90s I think.

[@justjasonbeardenjokes]

I enjoy Crystal Skull, sure it’s not the best movie but it has enough in it that makes it a worth watch. I put it on the same level as even some of the games that I find fun, Fate of Atlantis, The Emperor’s Tomb, and Staff of Kings. It’s just another adventure under his belt.

[@marvel8797]

There is a throwaway line early in the movie where Mutt complains about his mom making him take fencing lessons, but its easy to forget about so I would not fault anyone for missing it.

[@JayMakinen]

The space cat looks like an angry grandma who will snap if you shout too loud

[@PetProjects2011]

I don't remember Indy saying "Not today" when i saw this in the theater.

[@jordancrossgrove8827]

Pretty sure he didn’t use his gun in Temple of Doom either, although he did reach for it with intent lol

[@bodybag22]

My brain keeps telling me he used it in the mine cart chase.

[@Daub0]

He used it in the beginning when they were running from the Chinese mob... remember Willie dropping it cause the barrel was hot?

[@christianbrubaker5890]

@@Daub0 she burnt her finger because she cracked a nail

[@robk.6591]

Mutt. Ugh. He was basically Shia LeBeof playing Shia LeBeof. His comedy timing and delivery was way off and the character just didn't fit in with the time period of the film.

[@darwinespinoza3440]

Tony is right. When it first came out and thoroughly enjoyed it. Shia was on fire too. But it’s a hard watch now, I’ve tried to watch it atleast 3 times and like they said, it just gets worse and worse. But on first watch, in theaters, it wasn’t bad. Harrison was old then, he’s even more old now. However, because it is an Indiana Jones movie, I’m curious to see it anyway.

[@uchidaoginome]

I thought Shia's acting was great. I just didn't like the character! It seemed like the wrong direction to bring Marianne back. If they wanted to give him a child, they could have just given him a child... We didn't have to recognize the face of the actress who plays the mother. But I also think it was the wrong move to give him a child in the first place. Maybe a younger male sidekick character just could have been an ambitious student of his and they didn't have to put such a fine button on the fact that it takes place in the '50s by making Mutt a greaser...but he also went to a fancy private school and got great grades and learned fencing. Heaven forbid he be the son of a high school English teacher or a mechanic or bus driver. Then in the film you get people fencing on jeeps, swinging with monkeys and South American tribesmen huddling in adobe trapdoors until an intruder comes? Funny thing is though, there are plenty of parts of this movie that are so well directed (Spielberg is a master!) but the problem is its story. The world of Indiana Jones is not quite fantasy and not quite real... It's somewhere in the middle, but definitely closer to the real world. You can't veer too far from reality in a world that looks this much like ours or else it's just not believable.

[@kdusel1991]

I thought Shia was decent in this. I just thought his character wasn't written the best. Granted that at the time I didn't see him in a lot of things other than even stevens (both the show and movie), disturbia, and the first michael bay transformers (the only good one).

[@brandonginsburg3120]

​@@uchidaoginomeConstructive criticism?! I heard rumors growing up such a thing existed. Kudos to you. I agree with your resistance to everybody being related in George Lucas-related films. You probably already know that Leia was not originally going to be Luke's sister in Return of the Jedi.

[@retro2103]

@@uchidaoginome I feel people have such rose-tinted glasses when they talk about the 'reality' of the first three. Each and everyone of them is jam-packed with ridiculous gags and reality defying things you probably didn't think about when you watched them for the first time as a kid. It's such a strange argument that people pull out against Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Remember that time when an entire market of people was somehow completely ready to hide not just Indiana Jones but the entire German truck he stole with the Ark, all without there having been any signal or prior notice? Or how a monkey can be a traitorous nazi sympathiser somehow? How in Last Crusade, they repeat the market gag but this time Brody gets put in a market stall that actually turns out to be a Afrika Korps truck that drives off the moment he gets in? These are just a few examples but they are all fundamentally ridiculous things that create a fun and pulpy adventure mood, but people for some bizarre reason have an issue with them in Kingdom of the Crystal Skull but not any of the other movies.

[@floydforthought9998]

The nostalgia factor definitely makes this not that bad a movie for me. Watched it so many times as a kid. Think there’s enough cool stuff in it to be worthy of a watch.

[@ChristianAVS]

Idk i kinda loved Crystal Skull

[@pasdepoisson]

Props to Famous Tony for drinking the unsweetened Pure Leaf. I can't stand sweet tea and people shame me for it haha

[@billyb4688]

THE HEIST OF THE CENTURY IS SETH ROLLINS' CASH-IN AT WRESTLEMANIA 31 lol nothing else can be considered such WELCOME TO MY TED TALK

[@SteelSunday]

The cutout belongs in a museum!

[@marley8318]

best/worst part was Shia swinging on vines with the monkeys keeping up with the jeeps

[@tthomaselli2]

I remember being so hyped & excited for 'Indiana Jones & The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull' back in mid-2008. I graduated from high school in early-June of 2008 & I was indifferent on it...

[@Padre_diego_longoose]

I like that the Easter egg in Fallout NV where you find a fridge with a skeleton inside wearing an Indy hat.

[@MrBroon]

Fellow former Northeast Philly resident here! Loved the name drop of Cottman and Bustleton! I live in Bucks but i still work in Philly on Bustleton!

[@Fixxxer07082]

Mac (drink every goddamn time he says “Jonesy” and you’ll be in the hospital) and Mutt are the worst characters in the entire franchise. Oxley was pretty stupid too. 🤦🏻‍♂️

[@wstine79]

I get why most people hate it, but I enjoyed Crystal Skull. The humor is fine, the motorcycle chase through campus was great, and Harrison Ford and Karen Allen were great as always.

[@DryptosaurusDavid]

I agree with you. I can pass over the worst affects.

[@jimbowlan5804]

Shia just annoyed me and the alien thing was kinda stupid other than that it was fine

[@patricklauer4452]

I agree

[@uchidaoginome]

Yes, the motorcycle chase! I forgot about that, good call! And the diner fight was also great!

[@kdusel1991]

I think the fridge stuff is fine, what I don't like is everything else after that.

[@NoBodyMakesMeBleedMyOwnBlood]

As a former aircraft mechanic engine turbine is sucking air in and that’s why the hat is staying where it’s at in the fine off but if you really want to be real about it, the engine would’ve sucked both Indiana Jones and the Russian through the fence kind of like the alien three going out the window scene we had safety tapes and tech school that shows what happens when an individual does not pay attention and get sucked into the air intake of an airplane. It’s not pretty.

[@_Pauper_]

Oh Crystal Skull vodka. Mediocre, but it’s a cool bottle to keep? The cat is marvelous, great insight.

[@ericlowe4038]

I’m pretty sure the greaser/jock fight is a call back for Spielberg to the fight from the movie “1941”.

[@Nerd.herder]

Could you imagine seeing Oppenheimer and just like in the background you just see a refrigerator flying in the background turns out refrigerators are actually how we won the war we just used refrigerators

[@Packabowl]

So did the change happen where it's no longer called Talking About Tapes?

[@halloween2004]

1:26:00 or my brothers friend who was a Manager at burger King at the time can just give it to you. (Me) I still have it in my basement.

[@belachaney]

Crystal Skull is better than the l Last Crusade by a mile

[@Germaniac77]

Make that 1000 miles IMO!

[@willdurfee4211]

"EXCEPT FOR 2...except for 2." Most accurate comment on the channel ever.

[@salmagundi_media]

I was today years old when I learned Ernie Reyes was in this movie 🤯

[@Lynxan]

I never hated this one, it is not at the level of the ones before it, but the good outdoes the bad.

[@SquagelZ]

I’m expecting a heist story to rival Oceans 8.

[@HackTheMovies]

It will not. I assure you.

[@Chiggitychops]

My brother and I did the exact same “heist” you did. But we were idiots and decided to do it in broad daylight at a busy BK around lunchtime. Good time.. still have the sign in my closet.

[@adamfraser8586]

I remember being hyped to see this in the cinema and I'm sure the reviews were mostly positive at the time. Enjoyed the opening warehouse sequence and don't even mind Mutt in it but it went rapidly downhill from there

[@williamleetwitch]

Looks like someone ran out of Ls for their marquee. Shame on you.

[@R.J.Godzilla81]

Once you get past the Prairie Dog, the refrigerator, and the CGI monkeys this movie’s fine. It is the weakest of the 4 but it’s not as bad as everyone says.

[@bodybag22]

It's Indiana Jones without teeth no elderly joke intended It's a modern watering down of the original trilogy. You dont see anyone get shot you just see cut away then bodies on the ground etc.

[@themadpancaker]

Oh man! Tony referenced me in an episode! Does that make me famous adjacent? Also, I hope I wasn't coming off as abrasive and was merely just commenting for informative purposes. But speaking of anal, Himmler is probably better known for being the head of the SS. However, I did look it up and you are correct; the Gestapo was eventually put under the jurisdiction of the SS and Himmler became its leader as well. See kids, just because I'm a WWII buff doesn't mean I know every detail.

[@DryptosaurusDavid]

And to be fair: any wood can be broken when trying to be pulled out of the sand. The roads could be made from previous expeditions. The snakes vertebrate I think can hold Indiana jones up (correct me if I’m wrong)

[@mmaneage86]

Pennsylvania Piluso and the Jawls of the Crystal Space Cat. ... just spit balling.

[@spideylover4105]

1:05:16 there is a single lime earlier in the movie where he mentions he learned fencing at the prep school but I think that's the only set-up

[@mrfixitishere]

Love you space cat... Oh and Johanna is cool

[@popblender]

LOL!! "This Republican runs around"... I bust out laughing. What a great line!

[@Germaniac77]

I like KotCS and I prefer it to Last Crusade (which was just a corny rip off of Raiders)

[@belachaney]

Yup! Boring too

[@Horrormaster13]

When it comes to Indiana Jones, I continue repeating my mantra: *"It ended with The Last Crusade, it ended with The Last Crusade, it ended with The Last Crusade, it ended with The Last Crusade,..."*

[@sebastianemond5313]

No offense, guys, but after The Dial of Destiny, I'm just gonna say it... *😣🥺I-😖🤢... I-I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING BAD I SAID ABOUT CRYSTAL SKULL!* 🥵💨... 🥵💨... 🥵💨... *heavy breathing* ... There! I said it! Have at me! Say what you will about Crystal Skull's flaws. It felt more like the end to Indy's story than this new 🙄"empowering" fifth chapter. Whatever your thoughts on the Aliens or Inter-Dimensional beings, or your thoughts on Shia LaBeouf nowadays, this felt like more the end of *Indy's,* not *Helena's* story. But no, they had to one up the last entry with fetch quests, ala Rise of Skywalker, & time travel. They literally had to go worse than *NUKING THE FRIDGE.* Also, why did they have to Ghostbusters 2 Indy and Marion's marriage or MIB 2 Mutt Williams offscreen?? Seriously, Mutt's death excuse is worse than Henry Jones Sr's death to excuse Sean Connery's absense, even though it retcons the Holy Grail immortality effects.

[@HackTheMovies]

I'll save my thoughts on the new movie for the review BUT the knight let them know that the immortality only worked in that cave. Once you pass the seal it stops.

[@sebastianemond5313]

@@HackTheMovies That's true. People do often forget that point the Knight mentioned. Like, why do people think the Knight never left?

[@brandonginsburg3120]

​@@HackTheMoviesSo it works like a refrigerator.

[@dirkjewitt5037]

"Indiana, care for a WISH?!"

[@unclegumbald989]

You’ve done it now, Tony. We demand that Space Cat is in EVERY episode going forward. She is a floofy cat, and a pretty cat. She is a total diva and she knows she’s on camera.

[@NefariousKnights]

The story about the cardboard cutout was worth listening this episode. I was laughing so hard! 😅

[@romero329]

Yeah, Mac was just a crap version of Beni from The Mummy

[@bensneb360]

I like the movie and think it’s underrated and like influence of 50s B sci-fi movies

[@wstine79]

It's a shame that Crystal is here to talk Kingdom of Crystal Skull with Johanna and Indiana Tony. Her name is right there in the title

[@PetProjects2011]

1:03:03 I think the joke is supposed to be that Indy accidentally stuck himself with the knife, and the rip sound was supposed to be the knife going through his jacket. But indy's jacket has no tear afterwards so...

[@Brian_Corder]

Arachnophobia when?

[@samhouston1979]

the cutout story reminded me of the rash of inflatable Sponge Bobs stolen from Burger Kings when that movie came out

[@fromtexas2734]

That crazy as hell KZbin film reviewer ramboraph4life was talking crap about you on a live stream, Tony. The dude said some pretty mean things about you, but I really don't know how he can say such things when he doesn't even know you. That crazy ramboraph4life seems to think that he knows everything about every movie and everything and everybody it seems, but he truly doesn't.

[@HackTheMovies]

I don't care.

[@TonyInnovationall]

Dial of Destiny is gonna be amazing idc

[@Nerd.herder]

Also they absolutely do mention fencing he mentions he took fencing classes when they get to whatever the shit looking for the skull like the scene when they talk about school the first time around

[@rybuckisretro1523]

He cut his trousers "pants" by accident Whilst cutting the bindings ?. I wonder if you see them split in later scenes

[@R.J.Godzilla81]

The Scrubs Janitor was also one of the Cubs in Rookie of the Year.

[@zachwinkelmann5881]

My problem with crystal skull is its too damn bright. Seems over saturated which makes everything look fake. Seems everyone who complains about this film complain about scrap that's in the other films. Hated the Tarzan scene... But over all enjoyed it. Not ad much as the others but its better than a lot that's out there.

[@danielprekopa7005]

I don’t get why the CGI was so bad in this because most Spielberg movies have terrific CGI. And for some reason around this time he shot every movie (Saving Private Ryan, AI, War of the Worlds, Minority Report ) with this hazy look that made everything look worse

[@jrrrrmeecourchene3732]

Space cat looks like a porg

[@OfficialDarkSoulMusic]

I've always enjoyed this one

[@crono4752]

I totally remember him taking the hat back and saying not today kid.

[@changotv5847]

Mutt mentions in a throw away line earlier that he is good with a blade. It may have been during the dinner scene or around that lol i never hated this one, just liked it ok. Its nowhere near as good as the others, though. Thanks for another great episode guys

[@bodybag22]

He mentions he got put in fancy schools by his mother that taught fencing etc. it was a pointless line and a pretty pointless payoff, scene wasn't needed.

[@changotv5847]

Oh yes thats it! I agree, it felt a little bit tacked on. Almost as if they realised after they filmed the scene with him sword fighting that they never previously established he was good at sword fighting. Or maybe just bad writing lol

[@dirkjewitt5037]

According to facts, sales figures, and box office numbers. Most people hate Disney Star Wars. I would go as far as to say, not really not buying into Lucas Film under Kennedy.

[@dustywaynemusic6297]

Every Star Wars movie under Disney other than Solo was the #1 movie of the year. And people love The Mandalorian and Andor. It's cool if you don't like it but they've made billions off that property. Dorks just cry about it online

[@dustywaynemusic6297]

Please post these "facts, sales figures, and box office numbers". I'd love to be proven wrong. But you won't because you're just another dork online crying about Star Wars

[@alexthatmoviekid06]

They do mention how Mutt was good with the blade in the part when they arrive at Paru.

[@ScarysReviews]

2 set pieces are good, but, majority of effects, woeful, kate Blanchett's acting, atrocious just, the whole look of the film, is phony and hokey.

[@BigGahmBoss]

I don't consider the nuke/fridge scene is a negative for this movie

[@changotv5847]

But indy is not superman. How does he escape unharmed 😂

[@BigGahmBoss]

@@changotv5847 I can offer 2 explanations: 1 having drank from the holy grail granted him prolonged life, with the ability to survive such things 2 it's a movie and I'm allowed to suspend disbelief. This is the same movie series with the raft scene from ToD. If you're allowed to accept that without question, I'm allowed to accept this

[@mario_maniac9368]

I remembered indie taking his hat to telling him not today, so your not wrong

[@kdusel1991]

This is my least favorite indy movie so far, that might change when dial of destiny comes out. However this one does have a few scenes that don't bother me as much.

[@camd1518]

i felt the same as joanna soon as I saw her face..."yay..."

[@NathanTarantlawriter]

Space Cat tolerates you well.

[@TheStiff]

The state are prequels were bad "except for two?" So it wasn't just me? I've watched that one more than the rest and I always hope the next one will be good.

[@PastePotPete]

"The Heist of the Century" Still less disappointing than Isom #1

[@lordovthorn2747]

Is this movie bad? Yes Is this movie responsible for the best call of duty map nuketown? yes

[@THEN_QUIT-YT]

I remember hearing”not today, kid”

[@DRUNKENATHEISTSTUDIO]

13:45 oh, THAT'S why Wishmaster 2 is on the counter 😅😂

[@kingkold]

Wait, so wait Indiana Jones rode with Pancho Villa. Curious which ride.

[@YesterdaysMoose]

Maybe it's better to think of Kingdom of the Crystal Skull and Dial of Destiny as delusions of a senile Indiana Jones, adventures that he never actually lived.

[@MrYTGuy1]

maybe the prairie dogs were supposed to be like the porgs of the new Indiana Jones movies...

[@afterthought55]

What makes you so sure the new movie will be worse? You spent the whole episode saying how bad this one was, so the bar is pretty damn low right? lol

[@childofgreen2847]

Can we get a Hack the Movies Hellboy and Hellboy 2: Golden Army reviews?

[@gustavoflorio5383]

I disapprove the mispronunciation of the director from the first movies: it's SpielSberg! 😤

[@Zacman1123]

While i do agree that this movie shouldn't have existed, i did enjoyed this movie.

[@jmjfanss]

I'm with you, this thing is a real disappoinment and the next one is even more disappointing.

[@samhouston1979]

the cgi is garbage

[@Germaniac77]

Better than the crappy greenscreen-effects in Last Crusade.

[@JaredPresleyExperience]

Even before watching the video, just from the title, I agree lol

[@TV-Tony]

Having to blur Space Cat licking herself lol.

[@adamfraser8586]

Related to Last Crusade but you mentioned at the start of the video, apparently the line was originally 'donated by the finest Jewish families in Germany'. You hear a slight pause where it's edited out, guess someone had second thoughts.

[@crippledbazooka]

@hack the movies, Tony can you do a review of the Phantasm 1 3 hour workprint? thats a really good movie.

[@HackTheMovies]

I'm just finding out that this exists

[@EliteEleven11]

Good stuff, Tony!

[@RidleyCinema]

I was at the right age for Crystal Skull and Shia LaBeouf is my favorite actor do i have a bit of a biased but if you really looks at the writing process for Crystal Skull it makes since. It takes place in the 50s its was the space race age and the Russians were the compitition. Some of the moment are goofy theres no doubt but the entire Indy franchise is filled with fantasy adventure elements how are aliens that communicated with ancient civilizations any more or less goofy than faces melting off, ripping someone's heart out as they see it happen and a 1000 year old Templar knight protecting the Grail

[@Germaniac77]

Aliens communicating with ancient civilications is not goofy at all. Read the books of Erich von Däniken. The first Alien vs Predator movie also uses his theories ( Pyramids were buold for hte Predators). think abiut it: Different cultures on different parts of the earth (middle and South america, Asia and Egypt / Sudan) build pyramids WITHOUT knowing of eachother or communicating via internet! That is not a coincidence.

[@turtleguyfan]

it always bothered me that people considered aliens as a jump the shark moment in the franchise when it’s not even the weirdest things Indy has experienced

[@walterlopez5054]

"Willie Scott is hotter than Marion Ravenwood" Hard disagree sir.