Kitchen Hell [Sword Machine cooking show]

[@SergioSergio12345]

I just imagine V1 throwing his coin 499 times to pay for the burger

[@kevynpacthatguythatdraws]

@SmoothStream free money generator! Well... as long as they're patient enough

[@junjun8855]

@@kevynpacthatguythatdraws "sir? the store is closing." "4 COINS AT A TIME GODDAMMIT"

[@mortenbund1219]

Well, since a coin punch is a "fistful of dollar", wouldn't one coin be a dollar?

[@rker]

arent they quarters

[@Kryzzzzikaa]

@@mortenbund1219 toss 5 and get your change back

[@dandyspacedandy]

i like to imagine fan content is canon, shitposts are just simulations made by the bored terminals

[@Twojlokalnyrobot]

Good

[@elrobotman9856]

This Is now my personal canon

[@ListenToTheVoicesDoIt]

I guess thats also cybergrind

[@KallMeSum69]

OMG YES.

[@user-ew4qz4li4p]

I love how the streetcleaner just *keeps going* and doesn't stop untill the whole restaurant is perfectly cooked

[@WtfGadiel]

Its medium rare tho

[@IdkWhatToWrite1945]

Medium rare restaurant, my favourite

[@IcefirWindbreaker]

V1: This is fine

[@proguyisaprorlly4949]

medium rare to perfection

[@rendann]

this aint medium rare this shee is congratulations

[@Hatster985]

this could be canon because it’s specified that swordsmachine is one of the only robots that can still speak

[@namefamily2748]

Screams you hear while hurting swordsmachine are coming from voicebox

[@vsbung]

7-S

[@battletechpropaganda]

that borgor will cost you 4,999 style points

[@nich_nikk]

tf is a style point

[@themostcertified4377]

@@nich_nikkdo you deadass not know?

[@randomcitizen0]

@@nich_nikk currency in ultrakill game

[@tank_nulls]

Brogir at the expensive actions?

[@battletechpropaganda]

@@nich_nikk the currency used to unlock different variants of the weapons in the popular indie game titled ultrakill developed by hakita and published by new blood

[@Velainary]

The idea of a cooking sim in ultrakill is so good that it should be preserved for 7-S or 8-S

[@roiwelboren9302]

Gib bunger now And a number 9

[@ArturSardina]

7-8 способов приготовить бургер😂

[@vyrus5587]

@@roiwelboren9302 no.

[@portavin13]

OH MY GOD, THE COOKING SIMULATOR

[@spawnpoint111]

@@roiwelboren9302how old are you

[@jacobdykens]

0:47 the parry sfx playing on that burger flip was a nice touch

[@Sanctum8888]

even had the hitstop (the brief moment the game freezes after hits)

[@tman_sus]

bro sugarcoated the borgor

[@HawnkoxticBlackmorth4444]

Irl i do the parry animation lmao

[@IrnBruCan]

"the fuck is a dollar" So we know that at this point, mankind is not dead, as V1 has not learned about using coins. The lore expands again.

[@lucasbooble7231]

any argument?

[@lucasbooble7231]

any argument?

[@shadowmancerwithatophat]

​@@lucasbooble7231no

[@Gigi-ur6di]

@@lucasbooble7231 Dollar

[@CozyOrSomething]

The only things V1 has ever done with money is punch and shoot it

[@dombelly3343]

the streetcleener is quite accurate to the lore, due to their uncontrollable urge to burn everything that moves

[@UH-60_Blackhawk]

im gonna be honest i dont think the pepsi box that was sitting in the shelf was even moving when it got burned

[@Spacecoreinspace]

@@UH-60_Blackhawk the rotation of the earth is enough movement

[@segadoeswhatnintendont]

​@@UH-60_Blackhawkone carbon bubble went up

[@raduovidiu]

1:41 “What the fuck are you doing!?” Swordsmachine asked calmly

[@The-su4pj]

*screamed violently

[@Wink_Welovepj4]

@@The-su4pj it is a reference to harry potter film, in book dumbledore asks sumthen calmly (i dont remember exactly what) but in film, he is screaming at harry or smh

[@The-su4pj]

@@Wink_Welovepj4 i dunno man, it sounded like it was really calm

[@VBVoid]

I don't even know why the Street Cleaner slowly burning the whole building down is so funny xD

[@theenderstar]

He's just a little quirky

[@MegaJani]

@@theenderstar A bit whimsical

[@toastergaming7783]

Full of pyromania and murderous intent

[@floppa-f9g]

A bit silly

[@FisterTm]

@@MegaJani A bit goofy even.

[@JohnCautionSign]

Minos: Quite the decent delicacy. Sisyphus: Damn kinda good V2: ITS FUCKING RAW

[@aen.1]

*V2 knuckleblasts the bunger*

[@InternDOhioSUNEM]

v2 puts the RAM in Gordon RAMsay (forgot context lmao)

[@elecric]

This feels like a dream Not quite a fever dream but just a slightly weird regular dream.

[@guapito_angelito]

A surprisingly wholesome video. Actual comedy gold.

[@kritikal965]

Parrying the meat was the funniest thing i ever heard

[@Qreamey]

V1 saying they don't know what a dollar is, knowing damn well they have at least 5000 coins in their pocket.

[@nickpixelated9775]

Swordsmachine boutta get his payment by fistful of dollar

[@lunakitty4589]

missed opportunity to name it "Hell's Kitchen" regardless this was extremely funny

[@monki5315]

Helltaker reference??????

[@roflederinger]

@@monki5315man,

[@karimitickaeloogreattemlor3486]

Isn't that Gordon Ramsay's show?

[@monki5315]

@@karimitickaeloogreattemlor3486 Who knows

[@Cahrssomething]

@@monki5315 it’s not a fjrucking helltaker refrence💀

[@Nomimesh]

Plus, V1 only carries 4 coins with him meaning he'll have to wait for them to regenerate before he can pay the last 99 cents

[@AgarthanExecutioner]

"What the fuck are you doing-" His best, leave him alone

[@Joanarr]

the timing and delivery of the “shit” at 1:53 is too perfect i can’t help but just laugh my ass off every time i rewatch it

[@Jellotines]

"SHIT- STUPID FUCKI-"

[@rosant7074]

Street cleaner has been seen burning gabriel in the 9th layer while saying he was raw. - V2

[@Zachabruh]

Street cleaner is such an arsonist I love it

[@fralengamer1271]

Ah yes! finally SwordMachine and Streetcleaner´s Kitchen is open! i have wanted to go since last week but trips to hell arent very cheap, still, im happy his place is getting some recognition

[@vilmosbalogh4814]

The guy using a Flamethrower to cook the meat. The Chef: Medium rare to perfection The guy still burning the meat and the whole restaurant is burning. The chef: What the fuck are you doing? And i love that voice acting its just pefectly fits to the characters.

[@kaantheanimator]

its ai generated

[@aur.31]

The guy's name is Streetcleaner and the voice is made by a TTS program 🤓

[@ProbNotCross]

Ain't no way this is your introduction to ULTRAKILL lmao.

[@kaantheanimator]

thy end is now

[@Copacetic_Loser]

@@kaantheanimatoryou’ve been enlightened to “PREPARE THYSELF”

[@Kaiser25]

LET'S COOKA DA MEAT

[@spk980]

Swordsmachine seems like a respectable business owner 👍

[@LunaticApollo]

“It’s probably cold at this point” the fire surrounding the 2 machines literally engulfing the restaurant:

[@TheGlitchyFox]

I don't know what a dollar is either

[@theenderstar]

Reasonnable

[@KyCml69]

same

[@ReyHunter]

How much is this in blood coins

[@brandynstahler5266]

the fact that the swordsmachine asks his first customer "why did you even come here" is incredibly funny to me for some reason

[@Cheese_soldat]

I love how Swordsmachine's whole head doesn't even fit in the camera when it films itsef

[@Gian-Z]

Damn! This really was good, well done! Hope to see more content like this in the future

[@Nombre-nn5dj]

Ultrakill: 💀🔥🩸🩸🔫🔫 Ultrakill comunity:

[@supersain2349]

I'm imagining v1 thowing 5 "fistful of dollar"s at swordsmachine

[@cosmicwaves9496]

this is so funny PLEASE DO MOREEE I love the duo of street cleaner and swords machine

[@Abbys_Labs]

This is actually funny as hell-

[@mago474]

The KZbin captions acting as bloopers/behind the scenes information is pretty cool

[@miss.Simona]

As a Russian speaker who understands English at the level of a dog from a doorway, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for the gorgeous subtitles. This sincere conversation healed all my mental wounds, cured physical ailments and taught me to speak English, but since I have already completed this comment with the help of Yandex translator, I am too lazy to double-check it again for errors

[@JustFun-lq9ef]

We need a sequel 😂

[@ThatPenguin]

"tf is a dolaar?" Killed me

[@marxtrash]

"It's probably cold at this point" C'mon swordsmachine, you have that little faith in your assistant's ability to keep things warm? Just look how nice and toasty he's keeping everything else!

[@nine0909-p7h]

"Shit." I don't know why I laughed at that part😭

[@WendigoTS]

2:00 the irony 💀

[@PEDHW]

Mankind is alive. Food is fuel. Kitchen is full.

[@schfart]

this is truly one of the videos of all time. please make more!!!!!!!!!

[@justasidequestnpc6396]

I refuse to believe this isn't canon

[@Deadfurr]

This was actually so funny, it just kept getting worse and worse in that kitchen lmao!

[@rpg247a]

I haven't seen anyone say this yet, so I'll say it: 1:28 the complete and utter destruction of the senses is quite a nice touch :)

[@AunutoTheOrca]

I love how wholesome everything is (I know the street cleaner is a maniac but whatever) I really wanna see a video of v1 becoming friends with v2 and swords machine and maybe streetcleaner too

[@AunutoTheOrca]

ok but the thing is, what will streetcleaner sound like?

[@trevorturner6025]

@@AunutoTheOrca *breathing*

[@Iumera]

amazing establishment, I burned alive but the borgor was great; 3/5

[@Delophantae_]

V1 is literally a ROBOT but there's just something that makes him so natural lmfao he's just like me fr

[@mooatthemoon538]

IM OBSESSED WITH THIS VIDEO AND OBSESSED WITH THE SECRET CAPTIONS

[@theenderstar]

the funky captions

[@blobbinabutch]

This video laid a big smile on my face. It felt so wholesome seeing Swordsmachine cooking :)

[@leonoraarocho658]

that lego swordsmachine got me rolling on the floor, dying

[@dachemistofx1667]

I also love the “animator commentary” in the subtitles

[@KXAbeta]

I love when I'm able to use the closed captions to turn on director commentary for videos like this

[@IamGG0]

This is a work of art

[@magolorsuggests7233]

swordsmachine is really underrated its cool to see someone recognize him.

[@JustStar9454]

Gonna be honest it's been forever since I've laughed this hard at a video, this is incredible

[@ecby5269]

Swordsmachine:That will be 499 dollars V1: oh shit i only got 4 coins man **proceeds to throw the coins and shoot them with a railcannon**

[@adonissantos4383]

1:44 I´m surprised he didn´t ask the mindflayer for help here

[@nadamasquemanu]

Uhm actualy Mindflayers don't have genders, they just decide that those bodies make them feel better, also male mindflayers also existe (the mindflayer terminal says so)

[@adonissantos4383]

@@nadamasquemanu let me make my jokes and pls zip it.

[@yokoshi1161]

"uhm actually" 🤓

[@jayman419]

"Average Forest in Australia" bro what are those subtitles💀💀

[@darrellgalusha5906]

I love the streetcleaner just committing arson in the background.

[@The_Yes-ys7nr]

Ah yes. Hell's Kitchen

[@remiotomio]

making the streetcleaner insane is accurate, they literally burned down the peaceful place of Limbo

[@kuutti6234]

The youtube subtitles made this so much more funny

[@FrostRare]

Everyone always asks where’s the street cleaner. No one asks HOW is street cleaner 😢

[@zergenex]

sword machine talking makes the most sense because it's cannon it can

[@epe_45]

First subtitles:💀 Second subtitles:💀💀💀💀💀

[@beebis]

the fucking captions are like reading devnotes

[@cloudstrife5472]

The way he says Tomato 💀 1:38

[@TortillaPizzeria]

TOE MATOH

[@theenderstar]

trying to get the tts to say tomato properly was a nightmare lmao

[@Jellotines]

TO MAT O

[@jesusarias3088]

A work of art for sure and the closed captioning is just the pièce de résistance.

[@Azrael.2]

ultrakill: a game about religion where you go to hell and kill all the demons and consume their blood ultrakill comunity:

[@syxadel]

this is so peak and i love the editing you did. excellent work o7

[@amog8202]

"Its probably cold as this point" (Probably to hot for humans to even survive in there lmfao)

[@tiamondem1968]

I find it damn cute that there are (I assume) at least two fanarts based on this video

[@theenderstar]

oh yeah i've seen them, really unexpected and cool to see tbh

[@Ana-zo5ph]

That was fun to watch, good job!!!

[@Jojo_la_mafia]

Gotta say, I'm a big fan of the subtitles

[@souppyyy3053]

I LOVE THAT YOU PUT LIKE, BEHIND THE SCENES SORTA STUFF IN THE CAPTIONS I LIVE FOR STUFF LIKE THAT

[@Maksimich-d6z]

i love the way video ended with v1 saying "what the fuck is a dollar"

[@4leafzilla312]

“How many times have you watched this?” “Yes.”

[@el_artista_fantasma8474]

"The fuck is a dollar" 💀💀💀

[@Duesikazergaming]

Like how when Swordsmachine is chopping Streetcleaner is the setting the kitchen of fire

[@GOOPREALM5000]

this is my new favorite video of all time

[@CrispyFriez]

Now I want a Ultrakill Lego Set.

[@TinyDeskEngineer]

This is the original Swordsmachine. We never encountered him in-game.

[@NuclearFissionDotCore]

Sworbmachine My beloved

[@JezusKriztus]

I love how the subtitles tell you to turn the subtitles off as the video already has then

[@Iaminsideyourwalls23]

Finally swordsmachine has a voice

[@imigratingbox]

Swordsmachine lorewise is one of the only robots that can still talk

[@createkai6986]

Gabriel The Health Inspector: All Chefs Fear Him (Also funny vid)

[@kaden-sd6vb]

first thing i thought when i saw this vid was the "cooking with bill" bits from doctor lalve safe to say it went exactly the same way(everything on fire)

[@Kyler530er]

"dafuq isu dolAr?"

[@yanker]

Looks like Streetcleaner have fun.

[@w00per_42]

1:53 LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[@corruptedmineral]

is there anybody reading the captions lmao, all of that was funny af fr

[@TortillaPizzeria]

Street cleaner may be burning the whole place down… but he’s just trying to help!

[@coldgal8476]

Swordsmachine’s voice is just V1 if he smoked a pack a day

[@ArpolosYT]

The "To the two people in the comments that made a "woman gaming" joke at this part,I know where you live" subtitle got me laughing so hard i choked and i am unaware as to why as i would never scoop that low to find that funny

[@Gahdangdawg]

0:39 Swordsmachine: “say hello!” Streetcleaner: “39 buried, zero found”

[@milkcake_78]

"The fuck is a dollar?" - V1