Kitchen Hell [Sword Machine cooking show]

Sword machine has finally decided to use it's sword for something else : cooking

[@SergioSergio12345]

I just imagine V1 throwing his coin 499 times to pay for the burger

[@SmoothStreamm]

Marksman would be broken at that point

[@kevynpacthatguythatdraws]

@@SmoothStreamm free money generator! Well... as long as they're patient enough

[@junjun8855]

@@kevynpacthatguythatdraws "sir? the store is closing." "4 COINS AT A TIME GODDAMMIT"

[@mortenbund1219]

Well, since a coin punch is a "fistful of dollar", wouldn't one coin be a dollar?

[@rker]

arent they quarters

[@dandyspacedandy]

i like to imagine fan content is canon, shitposts are just simulations made by the bored terminals

[@Twojlokalnyrobot]

Good

[@elrobotman9856]

This Is now my personal canon

[@battletechpropaganda]

that borgor will cost you 4,999 style points

[@nich_nikk]

tf is a style point

[@themostcertified4377]

@@nich_nikkdo you deadass not know?

[@randomcitizen801]

@@nich_nikk currency in ultrakill game

[@tank_nulls]

Brogir at the expensive actions?

[@battletechpropaganda]

@@nich_nikk the currency used to unlock different variants of the weapons in the popular indie game titled ultrakill developed by hakita and published by new blood

[@user-ew4qz4li4p]

I love how the streetcleaner just *keeps going* and doesn't stop untill the whole restaurant is perfectly cooked

[@WtfGadiel]

Its medium rare tho

[@IdkWhatToWrite1945]

Medium rare restaurant, my favourite

[@MeaghanHalter]

V1: This is fine

[@proguyisaprorlly4949]

medium rare to perfection

[@rendann]

this aint medium rare this shee is congratulations

[@aguywithahat7085]

this could be canon because it’s specified that swordsmachine is one of the only robots that can still speak

[@namefamily2748]

Screams you hear while hurting swordsmachine are coming from voicebox

[@vsbung]

7-S

[@jacobdykens]

0:47 the parry sfx playing on that burger flip was a nice touch

[@extrathings3981]

even had the hitstop (the brief moment the game freezes after hits)

[@tman_sus]

bro sugarcoated the borgor

[@HawnkoxticBlackmorth4444]

Irl i do the parry animation lmao

[@Velainary]

The idea of a cooking sim in ultrakill is so good that it should be preserved for 7-S or 8-S

[@roiwelboren9302]

Gib bunger now And a number 9

[@ArturSardina]

7-8 способов приготовить бургер😂

[@vyrus5587]

@@roiwelboren9302 no.

[@portavin1339]

OH MY GOD, THE COOKING SIMULATOR

[@spawnpoint111]

@@roiwelboren9302how old are you

[@psi_psi]

A surprisingly wholesome video. Actual comedy gold.

[@raduovidiu]

1:41 “What the fuck are you doing!?” Swordsmachine asked calmly

[@The-su4pj]

*screamed violently

[@Wink_Welovepj4]

@@The-su4pj it is a reference to harry potter film, in book dumbledore asks sumthen calmly (i dont remember exactly what) but in film, he is screaming at harry or smh

[@The-su4pj]

@@Wink_Welovepj4 i dunno man, it sounded like it was really calm

[@IrnBruCan]

"the fuck is a dollar" So we know that at this point, mankind is not dead, as V1 has not learned about using coins. The lore expands again.

[@lucasbooble7231]

any argument?

[@lucasbooble7231]

any argument?

[@shadowmancerwithatophat]

​@@lucasbooble7231no

[@Gigi-ur6di]

@@lucasbooble7231 Dollar

[@CozyOrSomething]

The only things V1 has ever done with money is punch and shoot it

[@dombelly3343]

the streetcleener is quite accurate to the lore, due to their uncontrollable urge to burn everything that moves

[@UH-60_Blackhawk]

im gonna be honest i dont think the pepsi box that was sitting in the shelf was even moving when it got burned

[@Spacecoreinspace]

@@UH-60_Blackhawk the rotation of the earth is enough movement

[@segadoeswhatnintendont]

​@@UH-60_Blackhawkone carbon bubble went up

[@VBVoid]

I don't even know why the Street Cleaner slowly burning the whole building down is so funny xD

[@theenderstar]

He's just a little quirky

[@MegaJani]

@@theenderstar A bit whimsical

[@toastergaming7783]

Full of pyromania and murderous intent

[@king_floppa740]

A bit silly

[@CatsAreLiquidOrNot]

@@MegaJani A bit goofy even.

[@elecric]

This feels like a dream Not quite a fever dream but just a slightly weird regular dream.

[@nickpixelated9775]

Swordsmachine boutta get his payment by fistful of dollar

[@lunakitty4589]

missed opportunity to name it "Hell's Kitchen" regardless this was extremely funny

[@monki5315]

Helltaker reference??????

[@roflederinger]

@@monki5315man,

[@karimitickaeloogreattemlor3486]

Isn't that Gordon Ramsay's show?

[@monki5315]

@@karimitickaeloogreattemlor3486 Who knows

[@Cahrssomething]

@@monki5315 it’s not a fjrucking helltaker refrence💀

[@kritikal965]

Parrying the meat was the funniest thing i ever heard

[@hisazuryuzen6761]

Minos: Quite the decent delicacy. Sisyphus: Damn kinda good V2: ITS FUCKING RAW

[@aen.1]

*V2 knuckleblasts the bunger*

[@InternDOhioSUNEM]

v2 puts the RAM in Gordon RAMsay (forgot context lmao)

[@Qreamey]

V1 saying they don't know what a dollar is, knowing damn well they have at least 5000 coins in their pocket.

[@AgarthanExecutioner]

"What the fuck are you doing-" His best, leave him alone

[@Nomimesh]

Plus, V1 only carries 4 coins with him meaning he'll have to wait for them to regenerate before he can pay the last 99 cents

[@rosant7074]

Street cleaner has been seen burning gabriel in the 9th layer while saying he was raw. - V2

[@TheGlitchyFox]

I don't know what a dollar is either

[@theenderstar]

Reasonnable

[@Bad_Gaming69]

same

[@ReyHunter]

How much is this in blood coins

[@Joanarr]

the timing and delivery of the “shit” at 1:53 is too perfect i can’t help but just laugh my ass off every time i rewatch it

[@Jellotines]

"SHIT- STUPID FUCKI-"

[@Zachabruh]

Street cleaner is such an arsonist I love it

[@spk980]

Swordsmachine seems like a respectable business owner 👍

[@Kaiser25]

LET'S COOKA DA MEAT

[@fralengamer1271]

Ah yes! finally SwordMachine and Streetcleaner´s Kitchen is open! i have wanted to go since last week but trips to hell arent very cheap, still, im happy his place is getting some recognition

[@miss.Simona]

As a Russian speaker who understands English at the level of a dog from a doorway, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for the gorgeous subtitles. This sincere conversation healed all my mental wounds, cured physical ailments and taught me to speak English, but since I have already completed this comment with the help of Yandex translator, I am too lazy to double-check it again for errors

[@Abbys_Labs]

This is actually funny as hell-

[@vilmosbalogh4814]

The guy using a Flamethrower to cook the meat. The Chef: Medium rare to perfection The guy still burning the meat and the whole restaurant is burning. The chef: What the fuck are you doing? And i love that voice acting its just pefectly fits to the characters.

[@kaantheanimator]

its ai generated

[@aur.31]

The guy's name is Streetcleaner and the voice is made by a TTS program 🤓

[@ProbNotCross]

Ain't no way this is your introduction to ULTRAKILL lmao.

[@kaantheanimator]

thy end is now

[@Cheese_soldat]

I love how Swordsmachine's whole head doesn't even fit in the camera when it films itsef

[@cosmicwaves9496]

this is so funny PLEASE DO MOREEE I love the duo of street cleaner and swords machine

[@ThatPenguin]

"tf is a dolaar?" Killed me

[@Gian-Z]

Damn! This really was good, well done! Hope to see more content like this in the future

[@mago474]

The KZbin captions acting as bloopers/behind the scenes information is pretty cool

[@JustFun-lq9ef]

We need a sequel 😂

[@WendigoTS]

2:00 the irony 💀

[@brandynstahler5266]

the fact that the swordsmachine asks his first customer "why did you even come here" is incredibly funny to me for some reason

[@Iumera]

amazing establishment, I burned alive but the borgor was great; 3/5

[@marxtrash]

"It's probably cold at this point" C'mon swordsmachine, you have that little faith in your assistant's ability to keep things warm? Just look how nice and toasty he's keeping everything else!

[@KXAbeta]

I love when I'm able to use the closed captions to turn on director commentary for videos like this

[@jayman419]

"Average Forest in Australia" bro what are those subtitles💀💀

[@Deadfurr]

This was actually so funny, it just kept getting worse and worse in that kitchen lmao!

[@justasidequestnpc6396]

I refuse to believe this isn't canon

[@Delophantae_]

V1 is literally a ROBOT but there's just something that makes him so natural lmfao he's just like me fr

[@Nombre-nn5dj]

Ultrakill: 💀🔥🩸🩸🔫🔫 Ultrakill comunity:

[@schfart]

this is truly one of the videos of all time. please make more!!!!!!!!!

[@mooatthemoon538]

IM OBSESSED WITH THIS VIDEO AND OBSESSED WITH THE SECRET CAPTIONS

[@theenderstar]

the funky captions

[@cloudstrife5472]

The way he says Tomato 💀 1:38

[@Tortilla_Pizzeria_Pixels]

TOE MATOH

[@theenderstar]

trying to get the tts to say tomato properly was a nightmare lmao

[@Jellotines]

TO MAT O

[@AunutoTheOrca]

I love how wholesome everything is (I know the street cleaner is a maniac but whatever) I really wanna see a video of v1 becoming friends with v2 and swords machine and maybe streetcleaner too

[@AunutoTheOrca]

ok but the thing is, what will streetcleaner sound like?

[@trevorturner6025]

@@AunutoTheOrca *breathing*

[@kuutti6234]

The youtube subtitles made this so much more funny

[@leonoraarocho658]

that lego swordsmachine got me rolling on the floor, dying

[@darrellgalusha5906]

I love the streetcleaner just committing arson in the background.

[@user-kj9kj5ht2x]

i love the way video ended with v1 saying "what the fuck is a dollar"

[@nich_nikk]

0:01 Swearmachine here🤨

[@theenderstar]

swaws machine

[@JustStar9454]

Gonna be honest it's been forever since I've laughed this hard at a video, this is incredible

[@magolorsuggests7233]

swordsmachine is really underrated its cool to see someone recognize him.

[@Iaminsideyourwalls23]

Finally swordsmachine has a voice

[@imigratingbox]

Swordsmachine lorewise is one of the only robots that can still talk

[@blobbinabutch]

This video laid a big smile on my face. It felt so wholesome seeing Swordsmachine cooking :)

[@supersain2349]

I'm imagining v1 thowing 5 "fistful of dollar"s at swordsmachine

[@yanker]

Looks like Streetcleaner have fun.

[@remiotomio]

making the streetcleaner insane is accurate, they literally burned down the peaceful place of Limbo

[@Azrael.2]

ultrakill: a game about religion where you go to hell and kill all the demons and consume their blood ultrakill comunity:

[@adonissantos4383]

1:44 I´m surprised he didn´t ask the mindflayer for help here

[@nadamasquemanu]

Uhm actualy Mindflayers don't have genders, they just decide that those bodies make them feel better, also male mindflayers also existe (the mindflayer terminal says so)

[@adonissantos4383]

@@nadamasquemanu let me make my jokes and pls zip it.

[@yokoshi1161]

"uhm actually" 🤓

[@corruptedmineral]

is there anybody reading the captions lmao, all of that was funny af fr

[@createkai6986]

Gabriel The Health Inspector: All Chefs Fear Him (Also funny vid)

[@Ana-zo5ph]

That was fun to watch, good job!!!

[@kaden-sd6vb]

first thing i thought when i saw this vid was the "cooking with bill" bits from doctor lalve safe to say it went exactly the same way(everything on fire)

[@w00per_42]

1:53 LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[@amog8202]

"Its probably cold as this point" (Probably to hot for humans to even survive in there lmfao)

[@ProfessionalEepyHead]

My cow is deaad Sauce is fuel I’m not full

[@GerultZRivivy]

Missed opportunity to call it: Cooking with a Killer Robot

[@GerultZRivivy]

You know, like Undertale

[@syxadel]

this is so peak and i love the editing you did. excellent work o7

[@postal2forthe3ds]

shoutout to the dude writing the youtube captions on top of the normal ones. i see u man

[@theenderstar]

that's, that me lol KZbin doesn't let other people write captions unfortunately

[@jesusarias3088]

A work of art for sure and the closed captioning is just the pièce de résistance.

[@souppyyy3053]

I LOVE THAT YOU PUT LIKE, BEHIND THE SCENES SORTA STUFF IN THE CAPTIONS I LIVE FOR STUFF LIKE THAT

[@naattxxnaattxx7055]

The best thing about this video is the captions

[@milkcake_78]

"The fuck is a dollar?" - V1

[@wedoalittlebitoftrolling2540]

Mankind is dead. So swordsmachine decided to take over their kitchen.

[@hannik24]

HE PARRIED A MEAT! MEAT-BOOSTING NEW SPEEDRUN STRATEGY FOUND?!?!

[@el_artista_fantasma8474]

"The fuck is a dollar" 💀💀💀

[@ataco5912]

bunger is awesome i like :)

[@hmmsus2003]

Literally Swordmachine vtuber

[@zedthecrimsonemperor]

the "wtf is a dollar" thing killed me lol

[@Gahdangdawg]

0:39 Swordsmachine: “say hello!” Streetcleaner: “39 buried, zero found”

[@matejnentwich1376]

Hmm the best part Is! That he can warm it up in the restrant itself! Thanks to.the natural fire lighting! 5 starts!

[@CrispyFriez]

Now I want a Ultrakill Lego Set.

[@darkthunder301]

Oh, we're *not* cooking yepee

[@theenderstar]

:'(

[@faxty7321]

can’t wait for the new season of Hell’s Kitchen

[@4leafzilla312]

“How many times have you watched this?” “Yes.”

[@Tortilla_Pizzeria_Pixels]

Street cleaner may be burning the whole place down… but he’s just trying to help!

[@TheCarnoComposing]

Omg he’s so cute ^-^

[@MewCoYT]

I love the parry sound when he picks the flying burger

[@michael171]

when the sword is machine

[@Starmie_]

“Th’fuck is a “dowlaar”?”

[@theraptorsworld2927o]

Swordsmachine: speaking scaryly for reason the copper guy, who destriyed the fryer:

[@GOOPREALM5000]

this is my new favorite video of all time

[@drewwallingsford6768]

This is comedy gold, please make more.

[@ecby5269]

Swordsmachine:That will be 499 dollars V1: oh shit i only got 4 coins man **proceeds to throw the coins and shoot them with a railcannon**

[@johnnysaurus04]

The machines before turning on each other.